Sweet Cuppin' Cakes
(FADEIN: Doc Silver sitting at a table. He smiles as he looks at the camera.)
DOC: Lucky? God I hate that show...They have this character, who's the WORLD POKER CHAMP...So you would expect that if he were to sit at a table with, well, ANYONE he wins, this guy is Neo, and the people he's playing are not Agents, or even the little ##### boys of the Merovingian, who when not turning into ghosts or being shot by his wife with silver bullets...Are generally useless Vs Neo...The people he's playing against are helpless doomed #####, they couldn't beat him in a million years, yet he loses to people all the time, he loses to some random woman who rivers him on a flush and he grumples about it, as if ANY real pro would complain...They would just sit back and wait, and let you keep chasing, and sooner or later, you won't get there...
Lucky is in a word, Bulls***...So by all means, please, continue enjoying that drek...And also, continue to ignore me...
But now let's keep the poker theme going, because I did just watch the WPT, so really, I'm in the mood for card talk...Now the fact is this, if I've got a pair of aces...And I got 9 idiots cap betting pre-flop with me, I'm in for a white knuckle ride to the river as I have to deal with this minefield of nitwits, blindly raising and re-raising each other while I sit there hoping against hope that in the end, none of them has 5-8 because that's the nut straight...
And well Psycho, that's what happened in our little 4 way dance, you were the idiot putting nearly 1,000 dollars in the pot, and hitting your draw on the river...On a board of A-K-4-6-7 you stayed the whole way because you just knew in your heart of hearts, that you were gonna get paid off...And that's what happened, you threw your two cards on the table and raised your little fists in the air and the dealer shoved all the chips over to you, but in this case, the chips were the WFW World Title...
But now Psycho...We're heads up, and again, it's me in one corner, Doc Silver, who's just flat out 20 times better then you, a drooling nitwit who's name is so mind-numbingly orginal that there may very well be more 'Psychos' in the indy leagues of Wrestling there there are legit Doctors with the last name Silver...And now you're once again sitting there with 2 cards, unsuited, non-connecting, but as we all know, "Any two will do" and that other legendary battlecry of the casino "there are no bad hands, only bad flops!" but this time, you sit there with your drek...And you have the worst hand in Hold 'em...7-2 off, and you're gonna show me, and you raise, you jam with your horrific pile of trash...And fate, destiny, and Allah appear to be on your side...As the flop hits, A-2-7...We spar a bit more...When the turn is a blank, a 5...And then after some more bets, Angels sing, the heavens open, the light of heaven shines upon you...As another 7 falls...And you can't get each and every last chip you have into the pot...
Before you find out, that there is no God...And that these cards, can be one really harsh mistress...
I count what you have in your stack, and I call it without a second thought...And maybe even your pea brain can figure out what comes next...
Aces...FULL...
You want Razor Wire on the top of the cage? You want the door wielded shut? That's fine with me...But I'm gonna request a stipulation of my own then...But like a good card player, I won't tip my hand JUST yet...You want me to be trapped in that ring with you? (Smiles) just fine with me...
This way, there are NO excuses...None, the "American Dangerman" gets his terms...He gets me trapped in that steel cage, razorwire lining the top...A door, you can't open...You get all of it...But you also get one thing...
You get ME...
And now you'll telling me the Rams lost the game that mattered, damn right they did, but they didn't GET a re-match...EYE did...I lost a match that mattered, but I can redeem myself...They couldn't...There's no Super Bowl in Wrestling, unless you're stuck working for NFW...So, don't fool yourself, if Football was 4 out of 7, the Rams win in 5...The Sixers won game one off the Lakers...That didn't turn out to matter much...When you have to fight a series of games, the better team always wins...And when you have to fight me, one on one, no matter what the terms are...You're going to lose...
How happy am I? As happy as I always am when I send another fool to stumble along the endless path of misery...It makes me...Only Happy...When It Rains...(FADEOUT)