Rabesque and Smith vs. Manson and Marx

[TBirdSCIL]

Please keep all RP for this match in this folder...

 

[Manson]

The Walking Bible

((FADEIN: MICHAEL MANSON, in "Goats Aren't For Herding" t-shirt and black jeans at a glass coffee table. He has spread several rlling papers over it, and on them, several grams of grinded bluish-green pez. He pours it onto the papers and seals them. Then sits back, taking out a black zippo and takes a hit of pez.))

MANSON: You know when I was younger, the only place my parents would take me to go on vacation was the Wisconsin Dells. They used to have those commercials with the Indian guy hanging people upset down and the people holding the electrical orb that made their hair stand up.

Then when we'd go, I'd see all these water parks...minature golf..and it was all roughly on one street. Now I didn't get much use of the waterparks since even then my skin would always catch fire in the daylight, but basically, it's all a novelty. You use it up, really fast, and then you're just bored.

Which is of course an analogy for the Unholy Alliance, for all intents and purposes my lackeys for some reason I really don't understand, since it's not like I ever talked to them at all. But they were useful for a time. of course they basically proved their true worthlessless in the WarGames, since it wasn't Nark or I submitting, but then again we wouldn't. So of course they blame us, citing that I insulted their heritage and that it took them months to pay me back by submitting and losing a match they were in.

Then they go and make nice with Maelstrom for another reason I really don't understand, but these guys basically approach Jared Justice levels of stupidity. Which did make them worthwhile lackeys for a time, come to think of it. But of course whenever you're let down by the help, you just go out and find better.

Now supposedly Dakota Smith, their friend or relative or whatever, wants to avenge them by going against the only true Pandorian in the GLCW, me. Of course, I wasn't the one who made them submit either and I say "they" because I never really took the time to find out the difference between Flatliner and Kraven, and really they're a team, so go with "they".

And Smith has this match with Jonathan Marx, a promising young talent, and he starts going on and on about his father being a legend or something. While I recall hearing the name Nevada Smith, I can't say that I've ever heard of him and as Rabesque will go on about, I've been around.

Furthermore, for this guy to be retired and have a full-grown son, he must be somewhat of an older man. Not a creative man either, since most of his family seems to be named after states for some reason. So I'm thinking either Nevada was a delusional old man who found a way to spike the water supplies with LSD so everyone would think he was great in his twilight years, or everyone just felt sorry for him in his twilight years.

And suffice to say, you won't earn any of that from me. I'm sure Dakota going to go on about how he wrestled bears in Africa or something, but it doesn't matter, since he's never wrestled me. Unlike his father, I am something of a legend, at least here anyway. Not that I wouldn't take the chance to crucify Dakota in front his father and try to get his hillbilly ass to crawl on down to try to save him. Just not a priority.

Yes, I am somewhat of a legend in the GLCW, and I know you're sitting Jean, itching with anxiety to start screaming that I suck and I suck and I'm horrid. But it comes from your own mouth. After all, you had your big match with Maelstrom, and before it, with all the hype and such, of all the things you could be debating with him, all the things to talk about, you two start arguing me.

Mentioning me.

Referencing me like I'm a walking Bible.

Now normally, I'd say the Bible is only really some interesting amalgamated mythology crossed with historical fiction and ultimately propaganda, and that most of the time, it's only real use is for rolling papers. Speaking of which...

((Takes a drag of pez.))

But since you and Maelstrom went to the trouble of making me the Bible of the GLCW..perhaps I should take it more seriously. Or just slap my name on it and sell it along with the rest of my best selling GLCW merchandise.

Of course I know you're going to debate this, but it's done and said, as aunthentic as Southerns with the Bible. From your own mouth. Since the wrong type of attention is after all, the way to fortune and stardom, or at least that's the way King Krusher seems to have it set up around here.

Is it obsession? I'd hope not, since where has that gotten Jared Justice? And by the way, I had nothing to do with that exploding room, since if I had, it would have worked.

Is it because yout think by mentioning me people will look past your feminine wiles and dull demeanor and take you seriously? Like how one of Jarod Poe's 6 fans are doing now? Is that what you want? Is this all some kind of sick sex game you're trying to play with me? Well, contrary to rumors, probably most of them started by you, I don't swing that way.

Luckily, by my side, I do have a true bred technical mat-wrestler in Jonathan Marx. A well-meaning and respectful I might add, he even claims to have thought Nevada Smith was a legend. And of course, someone more than capable of wrestling you, Jean, to the mat again and again. Though not in that cheeky, Eurpoean way you're hoping over.

By the time of this, he'll already have a victory of Dakota, proving this Marx is the future. Mostly because I said so and I am the Bible in these parts. Is he the best wrestler in the world now? Maybe, I'd like to say myself and I'm sure Jean wants to scream "Me, me, me,me,me!", but Marx will be. As for right now, I'll go with Stephen Morgan, I have to take his word over yours Jean, after all, this is the man who gave me a cheese statue.

But that neither here nor there, for now it's just another tag team that Jean can hide from me on the other side of the ring. Another tag match where he'll be set to lose to me, Mike Manson, walking bible..regardless of his partner..and whoever the hell his father actually was.

 

[PaulNJ21]

A Day At the Stables

::Jonathan Marx is at the stables smoking a Cuban cigar as his hands prepare his horse for his morning ride while talking to his assistant Brandon Jacobs::

BRANDON JACOBS: This time, the challenge is going to be even harder Jonathan. In a long grueling match which will go down in the annuals of history as one of the best of all-time, Marx & Dakota Smith tore down the house in a match that brought the fans to their feet several times. If it wasn't for Nevada Smith, that match may still be going on today.

JONATHAN MARX: I still don't like Dakota Smith leapfrogging half the roster in his debut match, but I did earn some respect for him in that match. Dakota Smith may be even more talented than his father some day if he keeps on working trying to improve his game. But all praise aside for Dakota, he won't be able to avenge what happened to him in front of a capacity crowd in Wisconsin Dells, now that I've wrestled Dakota, I've learned his strengths and weaknesses and I know how to exploit them for my own means.

BRANDON JACOBS: The challenge is going to be even harder this time Jonathan. You are going to have to face Jean Rabeque for the very first time.

JONATHAN MARX: I'm honored to step into the ring with someone with the nobility and class of Rabesque. It is rare that I wrestle someone so similar to myself, it will be a test to see if I can overcome his technical prowess of someone who has had so much success here in the GLCW.

BRANDON JACOBS: Where would you rank Jean Rabeque with the all-time greats?

JONATHAN MARX: That is a very tough question. Without a doubt, he is the biggest contribution by the French to America since the Statue of Liberty itself which became a symbol of this country's freedom. I hope that the fans at Wisconsin Dells show Rabesque a little respect and don't boo him because he is French. People should be treated as individuals instead of some media created stereotype.

BRANDON JACOBS: Wow, I never knew that you had so much respect for Rabesque.

::climbs onto his horse::

JONATHAN MARX: How many other men can say that they single handedly cured insomnia?

::Marx smirks and flicks his cigar and rides off into the morning sun::

FTB

 

[SteveA]

Car Wreck

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-18-03 AT 04:02 PM (EST)](the screen comes in on the GLCW backdrop, and in front of it stands Jean Rabesque, dressed in the normal gear, including his “NO FALSE GIMMICKS” shirt, which according to GLCW merchandising figures just became the all-time best selling shirt in GLCW history, but for the meantime, he just stands, a slight smirk on his face, as he looks into the camera and speaks)

Rabesque: You see Manson, I finally found an explanation for it all. Yeah, we do talk about you quite a bit, even in matches that don’t involve you. You see, you’re like a car wreck Mike, or maybe even worse. You’ve been driving along before, rush hour traffic, and then for no explicable reason, traffic comes to a halt. You can’t figure out why, until you reach the scene of the crime, and a couple of cars have plastered themselves into each other. Everybody just has to stop and look.

It’s not that they want to Mike, but something that hideous has a novel attraction to it. People want to look away, but they just can’t. It’s not something that appealing, they just want to get a glimpse at the horror, at the atrocity. No one can really explain the fascination, it’s just a part of human nature.

Same way with you Mike. You might take it as some kind of fascination with you in a positive way, but you really couldn’t be farther from the truth. People are drawn to you just as if they were drawn to a car wreck. They really don’t want to watch, but they can’t look away, because they might miss out on the next moronic thing you try to pull. If that’s what you’re going for Mike, then congratulations....job well done. But I don’t really think that was the intention.

And yes, Maelstrom and I did bring your name up. True, very true. But did you ever catch the context in which your name did come up Mikey? Usually, it had something to do with either how much you suck, or how much the two of us have humiliated your ass in the past. Of course, there was his thumping of you, and then there was the time I played your ass and got you to hand me a world title. (chuckles) Of course, you’ll have some story to go against that, and of course you’ll claim since I didn’t pin you, I never beat you in that match, and that’s fine. You don’t have to believe it, the truth is there.

So, now, you took pride in discrediting my tag team partner, or at least you’ll try. Hey Mike, you paying attention? You tried the same strategy against Maelstrom, and we all know where that got you. The next thing you’ll be trying to do is discrediting the existence of Pandora Island, and they can prove it to you once again. Yeah, Nevada’s a bit older, he has a son that’s ready to wrestle. Big deal? Not to me. Hell, look at this kid. He’s a bit raw, but the kid has talent. And enough raw power to rip you into Pez size morsels, which I’ll enjoy watching immensely.

And unlike you like to say Mike, Nevada Smith is actually a legend. The reason behind that is, he could actually do something you could never dream of....wrestle. No, not wait for some goon to come out and clock your opponent as you hit your ONE MOVE OF DEATH. No, he actually could wrestle an opponent in the middle of the ring, and actually win a match. No cheese sculptures were EVER involved.

Something else that I found quite amusing was how you seem to think that other people mentioning their name in spots that don’t involve you implies some kind of fascination with you. (chuckles) If that’s the case Mikey, then explain to all of us your relationship with Jarod Poe, because as they like to say.... “The world is dying to know.” You seem to like to bring him up a good bit. What is it Mike, you gotta crush? Can’t keep him out of your thoughts? Dreaming of the sandwich you could work with him and Bueno? Sure, you can say that you don’t swing that way, but we’ve all seen the way you’ve looked at him in the past Mike, you can’t sneak it past us. And damn, I never did notice that slight lisp you’re starting to work in there. It’s about as prevalent as say.....my (chuckles) feminine hands.

And as if you weren’t enough for this little shindig, we get Jonathan Marx, a man that claims to be the most educated wrestler here in the GLCW. That’s a distinct possibility, but if that is the case then how can a man of such noble schooling make such rudimental errors. The most obvious of these comes right out at the beginning. Jonathan, I’M NOT FROM FRANCE! Hell, I’ve never even been to France. Do your homework Johnny, I’ve had this same exact discussion with just about every opponent I’ve faced over the last seven years. I’m from Canada, and I’ve lived in the United States for the past 10 years. So get that one out of your head right now.

And as for your comments. Insomnia? That’s fine. If you want to think that what I do puts people to sleep, then so be it. I’m really kind of blue in the face from consistently arguing this point. I don’t need to prove anything. Simply stand in the ring at Riptide and listen to the crowd response when I walk out to the ring. And then, stop for a second and look around, and check out the gear of the people in the crowd. See what they’re wearing. And my shirt didn’t become #1 all-time for nothing.

But if you want to take it to the mat Johnny, and if you want to see who is the better technical master, then I’m all for it. And I can guarantee one thing right now, insomnia is one problem you probably won’t have if you face me Johnny, because you just might find yourself asleep in the middle of the ring.

But I’ll tell you one thing, you or your buddy was right about one thing until the very end, you’re stepping into the ring with one of the all-time greats. How you choose to deal with it, how you choose to look at it is completely up to you. No false gimmicks, no false hype, I am Jean Rabesque.

(fade out)

 

[PaulNJ21]

Searching for Dakota Smith

::Jonathan Marx and Brandon Jacobs arrive in the middle of the desert with lanterns in the middle of the night in their limo::

BRANDON JACOBS: Now that we are here, can you tell me why we drove all the way out here to the middle of the desert?

JONATHAN MARX: We are looking for Dakota Smith. Krusher said he was on a seven day vacation but I'm not totally sure.

BRANDON JACOBS: Knowing Dakota, he probably confused seven with seventeen and he'll miss the show entirely.

JONATHAN MARX: ::contemplates the issue:: Possibly.

BRANDON JACOBS: Why would Dakota Smith be in the middle of the desert?

JONATHAN MARX: Before my match with Dakota, I heard that Manson and Anarky were going to drive out to the middle of the desert and bury him.

BRANDON JACOBS: ::nervous laugh:: I thought they were kidding.

::looks out into the miles and miles of desert::

JONATHAN MARX: ::looking grimly:: So did I, so did I.

::Marx begins to walk looking for disturbed piles of stand::

BRANDON JACOBS: Did you hear what Rabesque said, he said you "CLIMB~ to be the most intelligent man in the GLCW"!

JONATHAN MARX: ::shakes head:: For someone who claims he isn't French, he sure is doing his best Jerry Lewis impersonation.

BRANDON JACOBS: Now Jonathan, we have to take Rabeque for his word, he said, "I've from Canada"

JONATHAN MARX: King Krusher told me before my match that Rabesque was the second most intelligent man in the GLCW and that I'd finally have a battle of wits with someone who wasn't unarmed. Sadly, I think Krusher took way too many chair shots during those wild brawls he had when he was on top. I doubt Rabeque could find Canada on a map if you spotted him the United States and Mexico.

BRANDON JACOBS: Plus, he is the rudest "supposed" Canadian I ever met.

JONATHAN MARX: Rabesque needs to learn how to be gentlemen. Maybe America society assimilated him into who he is today, I'd send him over some wine to calm him down but from his last speech, I think he may have already had enough. DAKOTA! WHERE ARE YOU DAKOTA?! Blast it, this is going to be impossible.

BRANDON JACOBS: Wait a second, I think I see something over there.

::Jonathan Marx runs over to the pile of sand and uses his hands to uncover the body::

BRANDON JACOBS: Is it Dakota Smith? Did we find him?!

::Marx peers at the body disappointedly::

JONATHAN MARX: Nah, it is another midcarder with his legs cut off.

BRANDON JACOBS: Damn it.

JONATHAN MARX: ::screams out into the night:: DAKOTA! DAKOTA, IF YOU ARE OUT THERE, I’LL FIND YOU NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES! You can’t run away son, be a man and comeback to face me.

::Jonathan Marx and Brandon Jacobs walk deeper into the desert and out of camera range::

FTB

 

[PaulNJ21]

RE: Car Wreck

(OORP Steve, next time, read over what you write BEFORE you post because that was way too much material to hand anyone. ;-> Also try to track down JC to make sure he RPs...

 

[SteveA]

Who I am......what I do

(the screen comes in on Rabesque, wearing the normal gear, standing in the same spot)

Rabesque: Cute guys. Sure, go ahead and do it. Pick through what I say, have a good time laughing at the spots that I don’t speak your East Coast proper language. That’s fine with me, because do you realize that you’re doing nothing but showing your own inadequacies.

What the hell does my grammar have to do with anything? This is wrestling, right? That’s what we get paid to do, am I not mistaken? Every point that I made was there, and everything I said was legit, who cares if the format that I present it in doesn’t meet up to your high standards? I speak in a hurry, I stand in front of a camera, and I give you my thoughts. It’s not something I enjoy doing, but in reality it’s part of the job. It’s not like I plan out excursions or little stunts like both of my opponents in our upcoming match do. Sure, I might misspeak occasionally. Sure, I might say some things that many would say are less than coherent, but that doesn’t change the main point.

If I wanted to be a speaker Marx, I would have gone into public speaking. Instead, I wanted to be a wrestler. If at Riptide, we were entering into a speech competition, I would lay down before it even got started, because I know I can’t compete in that way. Fortunately for me, that’s not the case. So what is going to happen is that I’m going to show and I’m going to humiliate you where it counts..... inside the ring. But for kicks, I’m not sure you really are the one who should be talking, Jonathan. Hell, I don’t know if we can trust someone who doesn’t even know who the hell his opponent is. Last I checked, there was no one on the GLCW roster with the last name “Rabeque.”

So right now boys, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. Just like with all my opponents, I’m going to hit the gym, and I’m going to study my craft and my opponent. That’s who I am, that’s what I do. That’s what the champions do. We’re not out on ridiculous excursions, with our little sexually ambiguous buddies, trying to act out some character. And hell, if you two keep it up, you’re going to make Manson stop dreaming about Poe and Bueno, and give him two more faces to put into those fantasies. Hell, you guys sure do play the part. Now, of course, the next time we see you I’m sure you’ll have your billion dollar ladies to prove me otherwise, and I’m sure it will be a cute act, but spare me.

Bottom line Johnny, you want a war of intellectual words, a battle of wits, I suggest you try elsewhere. You want to meet up with the one man who is superior to you in the wrestling ring? Then you came to the right place. That is who I am......that is what I’m about. No false gimmicks, no false hype, I am Jean Rabesque. Maybe I’ll jumble a few words, but I can still kick your ass!

(fade out)

 

[SteveA]

Response

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-18-03 AT 04:20 PM (EST)]OORP: That's what happens when you don't go online for a week and try to type up a bunch of stuff in a hurry. It's not a big deal to me, do with it what you will. Don't blame you for attacking, though, I'd do the same.

P.S. I don't know where JC is, but I can always go it alone. Too bad I don't have Internet at home till Tuesday.

 

[JC]

The prophesy....

(We find Dakota pacing back and forth, his facial expression disdainfully showing his contempt for what is being shown on the big screen… MANSON!!! A man he has come to dislike, a man he wants to beat into the ground… He smirks, he grins and he shakes his head as Manson is shown on the big screen ranting and rambling… He finally decides to turn the screen off and face our camera; with a deadpan expression he starts to speak…

DAKOTA: It is no secret that I dislike you Manson, since the first time I saw you in the ring, I knew that you were one of those individuals that I would enjoy beating into the ground… I have to give you some props though, you have indeed made a name for yourself in the square circle, but like all good things, they all come to an end and your end is at hand… (Smirks) Funny how you come out and say that the UA were nothing more than mere lackeys, but yet you depended on them to fight your battles, that is up until they kicked your ass to the curb, so now you decide to bad mouth them… Typical of a man of your caliber, but it’s not your fault that you are so limited in intellect and can not go beyond 3 and 4 letter words… And I see where you’re trying to head with this Manson, so I feel compelled to warn you to go another route, because I’m not biting… You want to talk about things you know little or nothing of, go ahead… But let me enlighten your dumb ass on a few well known facts, first off my old man Nevada in his short wrestling career accomplished more than you will ever accomplish in your whole life and as for the UA; they played you Manson… They played you like a finely tuned fiddle, they took you down a notch or two from within and you still haven’t realized it… But enough of my family, it is not Nevada nor will it be the UA that you will face, it will be ME Manson!!! So you might as well save your bombastic rhetoric for someone else…

(He continues pacing and appears to be in deep thought momentarily being silent… He pulls out a wrestling magazine from his back pocket and on the cover we can see the UA and Nevada, under a caption that reads, “The end of an era, or the beginning of a new one!? NEH…. As he flicks through its pages we catch a glimpse of an article about Dakota and its caption reads, “The new phoenix!?”…

DAKOTA: Manson, you need to get a grip on reality, you’re rambling off again and have gone off track once again… You need to get beyond this “I WISH” quagmire you’re stuck in and realize that no one is buying this crap you’re spewing out… You, a “Pandorian”!? (Bursts out into a sarcastic laughter) Only in your sick demented dreams, Manson could you even imagine a farce like that… And to set the record straight I never wrestled any bears in Africa, didn’t know they had bears over there… And you need to realize that your so-called "legend" status does not impress me in the least, my father on the other hand has made an impact on me, and he started at the very bottom and made a name for himself, the fact that you refuse to recognize that is self-explanatory… A word of warning Manson, don’t call out to the devil cause he might just decide to come out and become your worst nightmare… But enough of you Manson, you’re nothing more than a jibber jabbering monkey who I will take down at Riptide…

(He continues to thumb through the magazine and stops on an article about Jonathan Marx… He smiles and reads it a bit; he then turns towards the camera…)

DAKOTA: Jonathan, you need to get off this obsession you have with me leapfrogging half the roster… You should be more concern with just how you will approach our next encounter, if our first one taught you anything it should have been that I am one individual you don’t take lightly… Don’t let the fact that you’re teaming up with your idol cloud your train of thought, it will only cause you to blink and that will only bring about your downfall that much quicker… Manson is a man who is in love with himself, he thinks of himself as a legend, and at one time he thought of himself as a god… (Smirks sarcastically) That was quickly bought to an abrupt end when he went up against Maelstrom, and now a new nightmare begins for him and he has decided to drag you into it, and Jean and myself will be spearheading that nightmare right down his throat!!! Unlike you I know I can count on Jean, unlike Manson who will eventually throw you to the wolves, Jean will have my back as I will have his; so when Manson starts to entice and romance you, remember Jonathan, the guy is full of himself… But then again so are you…

(Camera fades off as we see Dakota begin to walk away from the camera… We then see Nevada watch him walking off, a grin on his face as he nods approvingly… He lights a cigar and as usual blows his smoke onto our camera… Fade off to black….)

 

[Manson]

Obsessions and Pez

((FADEIN: MICHAEL MANSON, in black long sleeved shirt and jeans, sitting back on a green leather couch, taking a drag off a pez joint. His legs are crossed on a glass coffee table in front of him, smears and stains of pez embedded on it.))

"Single-mindedness is all very well in cows or baboons; in an animal claimng to belong to the same species as Shakespeare it is simply disgraceful."

-Aldous Huxley

MANSON: If I might make a suggestion, Jean, and that's that you start trying some of my finely grinded pez. The flavor is smooth and you get none of those delusional memories or even signs of cancer. Because you must have been high while doing that promo. So high that your memory is warped and you speak something close to English, but not quite.

No, it seems to me that you were speaking Pandorian. Yes, from my time on the island, I picked up a few of their dialects and apparently you have too, likely from the time you spent with Maelstrom.

The only possible explanation is that you were abusing some of the finer narcotics or perhaps had a sugar rush. Now whether we're talking about one of those sugary breakfast cereals or a line of coke, we need to start leaning you off that, if only so we get you back to speaking English...and of course the real world.

Not the show on MTV of course..no...the world we inhabit. Since yu must be high to think I ever handed you a world title or you ever played me for anything. I have no idea what the hell you're talking about and normally I can compare living room furniture to World War II era French surrealists.

But that's all right, we'll get you on a good helping of pez and you'll be as coherent as ever. I realize the world isn't a great place to inhabit..I'm the GLCW's centerpiece..Ashton Kucher was almost cast as Batman..and Freddie Prinze Junior is now a writer..but it's all right. You can take it.

Of course that won't stop you from continually talking about me. The context, as factual wrong as it is, doesnt matter. You still mention me every other sentence. Like Malestrom, who always conveniently leaves out that only one night he was able to win a match against me, just like with you, Jean. Just one night though..leaving out how I kept handing him his ass every week previous...and of course the next week I pinned him in that ring, the only one to do so.

And then you are given a title shot while I'm not even given my contractually obligated rematch, but I can wait. After all, why do I need to always have the title anyway when you, Maelstrom, and Dakota over there are my fan club?

You always mention me, Jean. Try to hide things behind words like "context" and "subtext" as much as you like. The fact is, you've never gotten over me. The fact that I humiliated you long ago, something I barely even remember, since it was just another Tuesday for me.

And of course you can never get the better of me here in the GLCW, which might as well be my kingdom. If the champion and half the roster are obsessed with me, I must be doing something right. Even if it's just a car wreck. In fact, I'm thinking that will be on my next t-shirt. Mike Manson:the Car Wreck. As long as they keep selling.

I'll allow your obsession, I allow Jared Justice's after all. It amuses me that even on the eve of your title match, the match where you could have actually gotten the better of me, where, yes, you could have revenged yourself by living well, you still can only think of me.

Of course Maelstrom did the same thing, so I'll just chalk that one up to my charismatic personality and direct him toward the nearest pitcher of Kool-Aid. But I digress, and I'm sure Anarky is well capabke enough to handle him.

But speaking of obsession, we have now have Dakota Smith. Someone I've never met even met before, yet he has my name on a wide screen. He also liks to revise history, hey maybe Dakota and Jean can form one of those long-lasting friendships that eclipse time. You know, just like women do.

Since there is no possible way the UA could have played me for anything since I didn't help them actually do anything. And if the point of this master plan was to lose in a War Games match and retire, then I must assume they are not familiar with Machivelli, or even the cunning politc strategy of George W. Bush.

Basically, the UA are nothing but whores really. They might have been helped by being in league with me, but that would require one of you plesbians actually admitting my staus publically. And of course, we can never have that. Because that would be what a real man would do.

And like all whores, the UA was only good for a short while, after which you're just hoping no one sees you with them. Of course, they had their good qualities, like no independent thought, always a good thing in a lackey. But like when a prostitute hits middle-age, they have to be taken out and shot.

Thankfully, Jean, Mael, and the Justice League over there did that for me. Sure cost me the War Games match, but take what you can get. And now, who's there to avenge them..but Dakota over here.

Not his long-lost brother Nebraska Smith, not Jersey Smith, porn star and black sheep of the Smith clan, and certainly not Idaho Smith, the retard.

No, Dakota is a man impacted by his father. A man who apparently idolized Lorenzo Lamas and accomplished a lot, though I don't actually know what any of it is. But their family has cunning, yes, because their brilliant plan was to drag me down by being beaten and submitting in a cage match. Yeah, that's a lot to fear there.

Let's face it, Dakota, your family's only good for whoring. That's what you're doing for your father now since he's not out there living out his mid-life crisis. Mostly because he's afraid of me. So afraid he'd send his son to do what he never could. Because if he were really a legend, he would have crossed my path, maybe even purposefully.

Instead, he's a name I've barely heard in passing, because he was afraid. So he has you thinking that you can actually stand against me. And no, child, you aren't ready. Simply disliking me doesn't make you so, because that's everyone. And obsession doesn't really work out either, looking at Jean and Jared.

At this point, I might as well be the tribal leader of the whole island, because I'm the only real Pandorian around these parts. Which makes this fitting, since we can make this whole "skinning you alive" thing a rite of manhood. I'll even give what's left of your face to your dad. I know I missed Father's Day, but hopefully this makes up for it.

While I'm at it, I might as induct Jonathan Marx into tribe. Sure he's not savage or anything, but he possesses several good traits that the gene pool could use. God, Odin, Zeus, and the devil know the next generation has to be a step up from you guys. What did you do? Mate with Rabesque-like women?

Nonetheless, we'll do our finest to eradicate you from the gene pool. As tribal and leader and prospective member, it's our right. And really, you just asked for it. Plus, no one is going to cry when you're gone. Like I said, obsessing about me never ends up well.

I realize it likely comes from your father, who passed it on to you to do what he could never do, but I can't forgive that. Hopefully, he can watch, in fact that's pretty much all he can do. All he's good for. Because he's grown too old to be a whore. Unless Jean wants to rent him out for a while, how about that? That's certainly something I could never do...then he'd really be a legend. One on the walls of bathrooms, but that's better than nothing.

Which is what you are Dakota.

Even so, see if you can help Jean out over there. Because there's always enough pez for everybody.

 

[PaulNJ21]

Manson is God

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-19-03 AT 08:09 PM (EST)]::Jonathan Marx is sitting on the front steps of a church in the rain::

Sometimes I like to sit out here in the rain. It helps me think. There is nothing more pure or more beautiful than watching the rain give life to the earth.

I'm glad to see you are alive Dakota. I wouldn't want to see anything happen to you before you get what is coming to you. Now Dakota, I want to clear up one thing before we go any further, just because we wrestled a match, you don't know who I am. You've barely touched the surface. Let's clear up a few misconceptions.

Something you said really irrated me. You see, while I love Manson, Manson is not my idol, my idols are William Shakespeare, Dory Funk Jr, Muhammed Ali, Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney, Osamu Nishimura, Queen, Douglas Coupland, Jim Henson, Jumbo Tsuruta, Groucho Marx, Ub Iwerks, and Jack Benny. These are the greats who have enriched my life and have made me what I am today.

Manson I’m sad to say will have to settle for simply being God.

People will say, Marx, you are the most intelligent man in all of wrestling. Why do you believe Michael Manson is God?

Simply put. Manson is old school. Manson is the epitome of what every great wrestler should be. Manson spends hours and hours in the gym and in the wrestling ring preparing for a match before it happens and he is the first one to show up to do interviews for his matches. He very, very, intelligent, not more than genius self, but he makes up for it by being ten times more devious than I am, with a hell of an imagination. He also isn’t some damn weekend warrior who shows up when it is convenient for him to show up. I know that come match time, Manson will be in my corner for me and that he won’t let me down.

I treat people like they deserve to be treated. If you want to earn my respect Dakota, you should have given me a fair match instead of needing your father to interfere and a fast count from the ref, but you've always been one for shortcuts never having to pay your dues or work a day in your life.

I treat Manson like a God because he deserves to be treated as one. Let me tell you something about Manson, Manson just didn’t start out by coming to some big league and getting a huge push right of the gate like some promoter’s son. He wrestled in one of the worst federations of alltime, the old IWF, and he paid his dues in order to get out of the IWF and into a real league like BAD where he was given an opportunity to be something more.

I treat Manson like a God because he deserves to be treated like one. He didn't get there by whining and moaning about other wrestlers. He simply worried about himself and did what he had to do to make him one of the best wrestlers to ever step into the squared circle. It is time for you and Jean to grow up, go back and listen to your interviews again and realize that you two protest too much. Manson is your God as well, whether you want to admit it or not. You ramble on and on about Manson like a bunch of little old ladies afraid of death. Why is that? Why are you both of you and so many others so obsessed with Manson? There isn’t even gold belt around his waist.

Let me give you some advice. You two better stop worrying about Manson because neither of you are in his league. The next time we meet, I’m not going to take it easy on you again Dakota, you are going to get your ass stretched and I’m going to make sure I make your life a living hell even if it is the last thing I ever do. And if, god forbid something happens to me, Manson & Anarky will finish the job for me. I hope your win was worth it because I'll be haunting you to the grave.

FTB

 

[JC]

You're blinded by the light of false hopes...

(We find Dakota soaking up the golden sun as it beams down on the sandy beaches of some tropical island, alongside him stands a bronze bikini clad beauty, blond hair with suntanned bronzed skin… In the distance we can see Nevada along with Kraven and Flatliner jet skiing across our view… Dakota looks in their direction and smirks as he turns and looks at the sand and then our camera…)

DAKOTA: You won’t find me in some damn barren desert Jonathan, this is where you will most likely find me 90% of the time, enjoying myself and soaking up sun… (Stares into the horizon and with a sarcastic smirk says…) Don’t you just love it Jonathan, you can’t help but love this environment, beautiful weather, beautiful women, sandy beaches and the food is fantastic too… In case you’re wondering as to why I have taken so long in responding to you and Manson, wonder no more you wonderless clot, as you and Manson can clearly see I am enjoying myself, hell I feel that everyone is entitled to some sort of enjoyment, you enjoy going on meaningless searches looking through barren desert while your amigo enjoys raping the English language… But then again what can you expect from Manson, a man still obsessed with my cousins, he trusted the wrong pack of wolves and is now bitching and crying because they came and bit him in the ass in the end… You need to speak to him Jonathan and try to see if you can get him some help, for he suffers from cretinism… I consider you a fairly intelligent man Jonathan, but hanging around the likes of Manson will just bring you down and in the end he will most likely throw you to the wolves… You see Jonathan his obsession with the UA has made him take leave of what little senses he had, he’s not focused, he’s not even prepared… Only a suicidal fool would try to provoke Nevada; he’s calling the devil out Jonathan and that’s no good… As you can see and hear, he’s taken to hurling insults and making asinine remarks about myself, Nevada and the UA, and that just makes my case all that much stronger… The man is nothing more than a rambling idiotic imbecile who just hates to admit that he has been bested at his own game… (Laughs) He really thinks that by making all those lame comments about us that I will somehow stray from my objective, that he will break my concentration and sway my focus; no such luck Manson… Calling me names, poking fun at my heritage is so damn lame, but then I guess that’s the best you can do with your limited intellect… It’s a pity though because at one time, long, long ago you were truly one of the all time greats, and it’s a shame to see that you have been reduced to an individual suffering from mental deficiency… It’s an affliction you are beginning to show also Jonathan, already you’re making excuses about getting your ass handed to you, my old man interfered after your two little buddies saw you in trouble and decided to make their presence known and you saw where and what it got you and them… You lose the match and they got their asses kicked, I say it was more than a fair fight Jonathan…

(Pauses momentarily and stares in Nevada’s and the UA’s direction as they speed across the calm waters… He then looks at the female next to him and with a devious grin whispers something in her ear that makes her smile and hug him as she kisses him and walks away, looking back as she exists… He then turns his attention to the camera, his eyes and face revealing a deadpan expression…)

DAKOTA: Hey Jonathan, am I supposed to be scared now because you have decided to join the Anarky and Manson bandwagon!? You say you’re going to make my life a living hell Jonathan!? I AM HELL!!! What I did to you and them in Akron will pale against what comes now; get ready to get your ass handed to you once again Jonathan, Manson will be too busy in the ring trying to save his own ass, so you should unglue your lips from his ass and concentrate on how you can at least be able to crawl away this time… How did it feel to see it all get blown to hell Jonathan!? And you still whine about my status here at the GLCW when it should be obvious by now that I have more than earned my spot, (Smirks sarcastically and shakes his head) really must burn you up inside that on my very first professional match in the GLCW not only did I beat your ass, but I took on your two idols and still you couldn’t get the job done… I don’t need your respect Jonathan, it’s just as worthless as Manson’s, what I want I take and you should know that better than anyone… (Smirks) I took away part of your pride, why else you would be bitching about Akron, don’t blame me for your blinking, blame yourself Jonathan… And if you think that by teaming up with Manson this time around you will get better odds, forget it, I have Jean Rabesque in my corner a man who has shown why he is one of the all time greats, you on the other hand have the honor of teaming up with your “god” a delusional man plagued with psychosis, it appears to be contagious Jonathan and the only cure will be me… I am going to introduce you to pain you thought never existed Jonathan; and if you’re counting on your “god” Manson to come to your rescue, better put that thought out of your mind, he will be in no condition to help anyone… He made a bad mistake venturing into the serpent’s lair, and you have made an even bigger one following him in…

(We then begin to see the female as she approaches Dakota and hands him a poster and what appears to be four bamboo sticks taped together… Dakota with a devious and sinister expression takes them and stares into the camera again…)

DAKOTA: If I didn’t know any better, and we were in prison, I would say you were Manson’s little #####; but we’re not so I have to think that he has you mesmerized, his allure has you captivated…

(At this point he unravels the poster to reveal a picture of a jackass with Manson’s head taped or glued to it…)

DAKOTA: I know you all were wondering what it was that she handed to me, especially you Manson; and it should be obvious what I am trying to say here, but just in case let me draw you a mental picture if that is at all possible for you to absorb… How do you get a jackass’s attention Jonathan!? You bash his head in with a 2x4!!! You want to know something Jonathan, at first I actually believed that crap you spewed out about you being intelligent, but now I see that you’re just as asinine as your idol… His renditions of a 12 year old on a temper tantrum along with his bombastic rhetorics are very amusing, but like all his other antics have become mundane… (Looks at the female…) Time for me to go and enjoy myself Jonathan, and in case I don’t give you a shout out quick enough to suit you, don’t worry I’m around and I will most definitely be in Wisconsin, I wouldn’t miss that for the world… (Smirks) You like everyone else will come to realize that I am a man of few words and if I can’t say something nice about a person, I just won’t say anything… Unlike your simple-minded, frivolous compadre whose only recourse is to come out acting like a dim-witted 12 year old; can’t say I blame him though, that’s all he has left and he holds to it like dear life…

(Dakota drops the poster and the sticks and wrapping his arm around the female walks away with her, as our camera fades off…)

 

[SteveA]

What a pity

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-20-03 AT 10:56 AM (EST)](the screen comes in on Jean Rabesque, wearing the same gear as before, standing in the same spot, accept for this time he has, “BEST THERE IS” T-Shirt, a shirt, that unlike anything of Michael Manson’s, people actually buy, but for the mean time, Rabesque just looks into the camera, smiles a bit, and speaks)

Rabesque: It has now gotten to the point where I don’t even know where to start. Maybe it’s your goal Manson, just to say things that so absolutely inane that your opponent really has no comeback to the them. I mean trying to decipher your comments into something intellectual is like trying to make chicken salad out of chicken s(FCC)t. It just can’t be done. But, since the GLCW mandates me to do so, I will again try to make intelligible that which cannot be done.

First off, I’ve tried the Pez Manson, and I’ve already stated that the Pez is a fine metaphor for you. (he stops and takes a bite) It’s….. incredibly overrated. You know, it doesn’t taste very good at the beginning, and then you are left with that lingering aftertaste, that won’t go away for hours. It’s really no fun.

You’re also a lot of fun to mention Manson. Me, as well as the rest of your fan club like to realize some things every now and then and take an opportunity to put things in perspective. If at any time we look at our own careers or for that matter our own lives, and need a boost, we can always look at the fact that, “Heck, at least we aren’t Mike Manson.” And all of a sudden, things get better. And when you’re really trying to get a rise out of your opponent, just say something to the effect of, “And you’re worse than Michael Manson,” and you immediately get the desired response. It’s a beautiful thing, just beautiful.

But not as beautiful as the new t-shirt, I’m sure. The car wreck idea is brilliant Mike, and maybe people will actually buy them. Lord knows it was 1996 since the last time any item of yours actually went off of a merchandising stand. Heck, with all the dust clouding the issue now, I don’t think anybody has even laid eyes on a Manson shirt since 1999. But of course, you’ll act as if people actually like you, or respect you, or even want to see you in the ring. I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again Mike, you get booed, but it’s not for the reason you want. You think you’re getting booed because people love to hate you. The real reason you’re getting booed is because you’re clouding the ring and people really just want you to go away. Sorry Mike, but that really is the unfortunate reality.

And for your claims that UA were nothing but lackeys, you have got to be kidding me. And as for your “pin” of Maelstrom… sure, Mike, I’m positive Mael took a lot of stock in meaningless tag matches. If that’s what you get your jollies off of, then so be it. And as far as you humiliating me? (chuckles) Right, Mike, maybe if I was servicing the league president, I would have had that same opportunity.

But you know what? Despite everything that Manson has done, we’ve now found someone even more pathetic. Jonathan Marx, a man that is proving once and for all he is nothing but Manson’s lackey. Did you hear the things that were coming out of this guy’s mouth, talking about Manson being a god and Manson being this and that. Come on Marx, you came to the GLCW talking about how intelligent of a guy you are, and then we hear this?

You really don’t have a clue, do you? You are so far up both Manson’s and Nark’s rears that you’ve lost all sense of reality. Get out while you still can Johnny, you’re on a sinking ship. You’re with a man that hasn’t cleanly won a match in 27 years. You’re with a man that has no ability in the ring, has no ability out of the ring, and is quite possibly the most painful wrestler not named Bull Budweiser ever to come through a wrestling ring.

Yet, you still try to convince us that this man is some kind of god. Manson’s not old-school. Back in the day, people has respect for the business. Manson doesn’t have that. They had respect for the fans, he definitely doesn’t have that, and they had respect for the craft of wrestling, and if you’ve seen Manson try a double leg take down, you would know for a FACT that he doesn’t respect that. In a nutshell, you could not be more wrong about this. But hey, you don’t have to believe me. Very soon, we’ll have a match, and we’ll prove it once and for all.

Mike Manson is not the future of wrestling. The future of wrestling is my tag team partner. Like him or not, it’s been a long, LONG time since someone at this age possessed both this much talent and this much polish. Dakota Smith is going to be around for a long time, and I’m going to enjoy being up close and personal at Riptide and watch him do what he does best.

You’re right Jonathan, neither of us are in Manson’s league. We both graduated from that status, myself many years ago. As for you, I think you’ve lost a lot of points here. You were an up and comer, someone to be reckoned with. Now, you’re just a punk, a lackey. It’s really a shame. This company could use some more stars, some more people to step out and create something for themselves. It’s too bad you won’t be one of them. You’re not willing to do that Marx, you’re willing to stand in the background…. and call someone else a god. (sighs) What a pity. No false gimmicks, no false hype, I am Jean Rabesque.

(fade out)

 

[Manson]

Speaking of Which

((FADEIN: MICHAEL MANSON, wearing black jeans, his number one best-selling "If Pez Is Wrong, I Don't Want To Be Right" t-shirt sitting on a bench in a dimmly fit area. The walls are painted with red symbols of an asian nature and animal shapes. Manson's fingers are marked with red and black as he folds them politely across his lap.))


MANSON:.....No..no..no...I won't hear it. Now you understand, what we're seeing now is the REAL Christina. Call her Xtina, call her what you like, this is the real person now. Before, her whole image was sculpted by the record labels and her peers. Now she's herself, and besides the whole fad is dying.

She's still got to compete with Britney, remember the whole Pepsi and Coke deal? So what if she looks like a whore, that's what America wants and being America, she has the RIGHT to be a whore. Of course I'm not an admirer of her music, however I will die for her right to express herself. But I'm sure the rest of you are Britney fans and won't give the girl a chance, but I've proven you all wrong before.

((Manson scratches his forehead.))

Now you're probably thinking that that is a tangent, but I say no, it cannot be. Why you ask? Well, I was trying to listen and pay close attention to Dakota and Jean there, but after a few minutes I had to run over to the phone book and read half the thing to stay awake.

No, since all they did was repeat things I've constantly heard before and without any clever new touch, I simply blacked out and had a better exchangr within my own mind. But I suppose I should say something about the match, since that is what I'm getting paid for. Though, I could sell my merchandise without it, since I make more off that than wrestling in this week's hellhole. But anyway..

Dakota, I finally met your father at the latest Wired. We had a good long talk backstage and we even did something together on the show.

((CUTTO: A still of Manson dragging out a goat with the sign "NEVADA SMITH".))

Not exactly what I expected, I must say, but the encounter did allow me to figure a few things out. Such as this whole macho biker thing he has going despite being middle-aged? Well, it really seems to be just an excuse so that he'd have to take his shirt off in public. Why you ask? Well....

((CLOSEUP: The goat's udders.))

Looking at that chest, that those seemingly surgically-enhanced he-breasts that can only be goat udders..I can't blame him. In fact, I have to thank him for hiding that up so I would never have to witness the one torture that I could not take.

Of course, you, Dakota aren't exactly the renegade either. I understand you idlize your father, as many sons do despite their conduct. And of course you fail to realize that Marx idolizes me and has cast me as his father figure. Of course I'm only something like three years older, but hell, that's a man who buys all my t-shirts and crosses the border for pez shipments.

And, obvious to say, he made the better choice. Since unlike your father, unlike King Krusher even, I'm still in that ring. I'm not calling your father out because there's no point. He's retired and like all senior citizens will soon be sleeping in a coffin in the basement at a fine local rest home. Not that he ever amounted to much before that. Someone who is basically only a legend because his son says so.

But if he feels the impulse, I'll be perfectly fine with crippling him since I believe my morality differs from yours in many respects. In the end, it is though, a good thing. A favoer to you. Because once your father's halfway into the grave and you see how much of a failure he is, you'll maybe try to develop your OWN perosnality, style of dress, dialect, etc.

Instead of just being your father revisited when no one really cared the first time. I'm sure he thought the biker deal appealed to the "kids", but he only has you as a fan in the end. I have someone calling me God. Anyone who wouldn't take that is a fool, approaching Jared Justice type stupidity. But the island was never known for its IQ..not until I showed up anyway. That's what tribal leaders are for.

((Manson reaches into his pocket and breaks out a DRACULA headed pez dispenser. Taking a piece, he shakes his head.))

Jean, I'm sorry..I truly am. I thought that pez could be the way for you. The one thing that could finally pull that tree branch out of her ass. Instead, we all just have to wait for you to raise the money working here for the surgery. And working with me does help toward that goal.

I realize you have identity issues..it's not easy being the most sexually ambiguous GLCW personality (And I use that term loosely) this side of Madonna Wayne Grossard. I know that you can never be the best actual wrestler in a promotion with me, Stephen Morgan, and of course that Jonathan Marx. You didn't get that GLCW title you wanted so badly that you broke out in hides and had to have your mother rub lotion all over.

I'd suggest you concentrate on what you do best and be the Michael Jackson figure of the GLCW..randoming "visiting" and "hanging out" with many of our younger fans by luring them with chocolate bars and the chance to play CandyLand. But no, it appears your deep-seated anger issues must be addressed.

And the source of that must your own name, Jean Rabesque. Yes, I've noticed the pain in your eyes every time someone thinks you're French, especially in the current American politcal climate. And of course "Jean" is at best a woman's name, or perhaps the name of an interior decorator.

Add Rabesque and Jean together and well.....let's just say you can put the "homy" in homosexual. And those soft,delicate hairless hands better suited for sewing don't help either.

I know how hard and harsh the comments on the playground at school must have been...they were Canadian schools with people speaking broken English and having substandard reading skills...but still...no one can ever really be as cruel as children.

Except me of course, but that's what makes me so gosh darn interesting. But I'm getting off subject as I am known to do...

I tossed and turned during the day..unable to sleep..trying to think of a way to help you Jean. I suggested before ways to correct the flaws in your character.....gimmicks.....costumes...capes...though let's try not to think of the S&M variety, as you tend to do when such a scenario arises.

But no, you sneered, like Adam Sandler in the Waterboy, and tried to fight and unlike the Waterboy, you failed. Not only because you can't beat me, Marx, Anarky, the Masked Blazer, Minion, Stephen Morgan, the French Circus, Carmen Sandiago, and of course, Malestrom.

You could probably beat Dakota Smith, but who really cares?

Anyway, the solution dawned on me when thankfully, the blissed Ted Turner had one of his superstations replaying Seinfeld. Now I'm sure we're all fans of the next greatest sitcom to Cheers.

Now do you remember the episode where George thought he had gotten as far as his real name would take him? He elected the nickname "T-bone" and sough to have it branded, and thus, hilarity ensued.

And that's what you need, Jean, so that the people will want you as champion, so you can have a t-shirt....a Nickname. One to propel you into the 21st century.

The names flared within my mind...

"Toad"..the "Toad"..remember Toad from the Super Mario brothers? Why not leech off the fame of one of the longest runnning video game franchises ever?

You don't like that? Well, how about leeching off another franchise and being "Doctor Pepper" Jean Rabesque?

What about Mister Phibbs? With a name like that you could proudly show off that extra dosage of estrogen and be a role model to other masculinity challenged males around the world.

Fine, fine..."Mister" and "Doctor" are low-ranking titles, no you're right. Let's go up the ranks to something better. Let's take a cue from South Park and call you "Professor Chaos" Jean Rabesque. We could tie it into the animated series, Butters come to life. You could even wear that aluminum foil outfit and sell it to the kids. (Better than luring them with that chocolate.)

All right..how does this strike you..I saw one of those SNL reruns on Comedy Central (the good years of the early 90s and not those wretched postmodern ones shown on E!)..and saw when Jason Priestly of 90210 fame hosted. There was a segment where played a character named "Johnny Hildo" and everyone confused his name!

Let's make you Jeanny Hildo...or Jean "The Hildo Man" Rabesque.....or just "Hildo" Jean Rabesque. It doesn't matter. All that really does is the hilariousness that will result from everyone in the GLCW being further confused with your sexual identity. We could play off this for years.

But maybe..maybe..we're heading too far away from the source. Now I'm not suggesting "T-bone" because my friend, you're no George Costanza. But....you want to be sophicated....so let the people think you drink tea....in fact we'll throw in some of that suburban slang to appeal to the minorities..and we'll have "T-bag".

I rather like the sound of that, "T-bag" Jean Rabesque bustin' up a GLCW hood near you. That's the godlen path my friend, where pez fails, overmarketed nicknames succeed. And we'll do the whole renaming ceremony at Riptide...with my own..perosnaly style.

 

[Manson]

RE: Speaking of Which

((FADEIN: MICHAEL MANSON turns back toward the camera.))

I am aware some of you heard say "personal" incorrectly. Or at least you might have thought. But really, that last exchange was almost entirely in the Pandorian tongue, which is strikingly close to English.

I thought to educate you, the people, in such a wonderful culture such there's so many of us here, and myself as the chieftain have to take that awesome responsibility.

OORP: See, that's how you cover up misspelling.

 

[jediPREZ]

Chicken Sh(BLEEP!) Never Smelled So Bad...

(FADEIN: GOLDEN HAWK standing in an empty ring...)

GOLDEN HAWK: "Y'know, I gotta say I'm disappointed Mikey. When I left the lone star state for the GREAT Lakes area, I thought I'd find somethin' that would challenge me."

(HAWK shakes his head and offers his best disappointed mug)

"Manson, you're s'posed to be one of the most FEARED men in wrestling. Leadin' up to Akron, Ohio - you talked a mighty big game. From what I was hearin', I was startin' to think that there might be someone able to put a dent in me..."

(HAWK laughs)

"BOY, was I wrong. Manson, you got a couple of good shots in 'ya boy - but there's gonna come a time where you can't run like the little rat you are. I've never seen someone's eyes get so wide in fear. Whatsa matter, Mikey? Nobody ever hit you that hard before? You never felt 100% Texan Steel tearin' through your torso like a chainsaw?"

(HAWK starts noddin' in satisfaction...)

"Yeah, Manson you ain't never been scared 'cause you ain't ever met anyone willin' to dish out the pain you've been seekin'. If that pencil-necked, rubber necked GEEK didn't walk out there you were about to feel the GOLD RUSH of a lifetime..."

(HAWK does a neckroll and exhales strongly)

"Jonathan Marx and Michael Manson. Well boys, if you wanna find out what its like to mess with the best of Texas - don't say I didn't warn 'ya. Marx, your (BLEEP!) is mine FIRST. You wanna play teacher's pet with Manson? Listen (BLEEP!)face and for cryin' out loud move your lips away from Manson's (BLEEP!)hole. I've seen your work, Marx. Real nice and pretty technical wrestling. Refined. (HAWK rolls his eyes) Proper. You've been to some school that cost more a year then most my friends MAKE. But y'know what, Marx? You're a SICK puppy. Of all the guys you chose to hang around with - it's MANSON. Somethin' ain't clickin' in your head, Marx...if that's what you think wrestling SHOULD represent. You're probably so (BLEEP!) in the head you dream of sucking (BLEEEEEEEEEP! BLEEEEEEEEP!)every night."

CAMERAMAN: (V/O) "Holy (BLEEP!)"

HAWK: "Yeah, that's what I DO think. It's PATHETIC watching you. You wanna be a doormat? You wanna defend Michael Manson - you like getting off being the lips that kiss his (BLEEP!)? In the long run, Marx...it ain't gonna get you nowhere, but to some doctor that's gonna have to give you somethin' to wash that nasty taste out."

(HAWK slits his eyes and walk forward)

"See, Mikey there's somethin' you don't know about this Texan. I don't stop comin', I don't stop fightin' and I don't stop kickin' your (BLEEP!) until the sight of me in your eyes makes you want to QUIT. Manson, by the time I'm done...I'm gonna be that black spot on YOUR record. The one that made you HURT. The one that made you FEAR. As for you Marx...you've decided to step in front of this freight train. You're the one walkin' right into a live TORNADO. The GOLD RUSH is comin' "GENTELEMAN". And THAT's as good as GOLD."

(FTB)

 

[PaulNJ21]

President Marx

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-22-03 AT 05:04 PM (EST)]::Jonathan Marx is sitting in a dinner in a small town, eating a hamburger with his friend Brandon Jacobs::

BRANDON JACOBS: Man, all of this Manson love is getting sickening, Manson this, Manson that, you think he was some girl with a DD rack. Rabesque even called you a lackey.

JONATHAN MARX: Manson is God, that is all you can say. But when Rabesque said that I was a lackey, I was taken aback. Am I a lackey? A short awhile ago when I was facing Grossard, I came to the realization that as much as I was doing, that I could do more. You see, for me, it isn’t about winning or losing because I have a much bigger objective. I want to restore a champion who symbolizes old school wrestling to the throne in GLCW who can be a role model to a next generation of wrestlers like Dakota Smith, a man who all the young talent can look up to. Now, lesser, foolish men who are simply into wrestling for fame and fortune, neither of which I need because of my social status in life, would say that could only be accomplished by winning the title themselves. Winning and defending the title is a messy situation which causes headaches that I don’t want have to deal with at the moment, maybe one day I will choose to win the title but with Manson and Anarky by my side, I couldn’t ask for better men as champion to represent all that I believe in.

BRANDON JACOBS: So basically you are a genius who has found two of the most dangerous men in all of wrestling in order to help you do your bidding?

JONATHAN MARX:: ::smiles:: Well, it isn’t like I had to twist their arm. The GLCW Heavyweight Title is the most prestigious title in all of wrestling that I could ever compete for. Any one worth their salt would want to wear the title around their waist. As good as I currently am, Manson and Anarky have traveled the roads and have gained experience by facing the best of the best. I remember watching Mike Randalls take on a young Anarky in NGEN and thinking to myself one day, Anarky was going to be the elite of the elite and now we are just a few short cards away from Anarky winning the GLCW title. As a fan of this sport, there is nothing that makes me feel more proud to see one of the guys I saw when I was younger, who worked hard to get where he is today, succeed. I hope that one day, when I have had a chance to travel that road and gain the experience necessary to improve my other worldly skills even further, that I have a chance to be the legend that Manson and Anarky are today, but I’m in no rush. There is no “I” in team.

BRANDON JACOBS: Marx, you are just being humble. You could beat Maelstrom if you really wanted to. You could both out wrestle him and out fox him.

JONATHAN MARX: There is more to being the champion than beating the champion. Any man can win the title, but I want my title reign to historic and infectious throughout all of wrestling. I want to see the other leagues crumble and give way to the old school revolution. While I may only be one man, others will join rise and join our cause and we will take back the sport that we have lost once and for all.

BRANDON JACOBS: So once you are President of the world, what will that make me? Your Pete Ross?

JONATHAN MARX: No, you are way too good to be my lackey, I'll put you in charge of deporting Rabesque.

BRANDON JACOBS: Poor Canada.

FTB

 

[jediPREZ]

President of puttin' yer lips around...(BLEEEEEEEEEEEP!)

(FADEIN: GOLDEN HAWK standing in an empty ring, he's wearing the all-new 'GOLD RUSH' GLCW t-shirts, now on sale! Also blue jeans and steel toed boots...)

HAWK: "Y'know somethin', Marx...maybe if you weren't tryin' to stroke Manson's (BLEEP!) on television you wouldn't have gained the notoriety of being his best lapdog lackey, right now. There's people that get off their asses every mornin' and work DAMN hard to get what they desire...and look at your no good, snobby Princeton ass..."

(HAWK shakes his head disappointedly...)

"You're so wealthy you don't need to care about wins? You're upbringing is so great that you'd suck that savage's (BLEEP!) if he asked you to?"

(HAWK does a neckroll and claps his hands)

"Listen up, Marxsy boy. You made a damn BIG mistake last week. If you think for one minute that I'm just gonna let sleeping dogs lie, you're damn wrong. You want to ignore me? FINE. Just know Marx, every match you're in...I'll be watching. Every promo you cut, I'll be studying. Everytime you proclaim 'Manson is God,' I'll be laughing 'cause you'll have no clue what kinda VENGEANCE this Texan is about to THUNDER down on THEE."

(HAWK closes in on the camera)

"Let me clue you in, Johnny...the only presidential title you'll be holding is the one for Little Johnny Loves Gay Mikey Fan Club. Those historic title reigns you have in your dreams...KEEP DREAMIN'. The only foundation about to crumble is the Great Lakes one that Michael Manson CAN'T be WHIPPED like a rented mule. But let's keep our priorities straight, shall we? So, I'll stop worrying about Mikey for the moment. You can stop worrying about any deportations of any damn Canadians. Hell, you can stop worrying if anyone is noticing that 'old school' revolution of yours. Why? 'Cause it's about to get (BLEEP!)slapped. You wanted to step in the way of a freight train, Marx? Well, it's time to feel the IMPACT. The GOLD RUSH is comin' you (BLEEP!)kissin' (BLEEP!)suckin' (BLEEP!) takin' it up the (BLEEEEEEEP!) 'cause you (BLEEEP!) love it from Mikey...and THAT is as good as GOLD."

(FTB)

 

[PaulNJ21]

Are you there Golden Hawk?

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-24-03 AT 09:58 PM (EST)]::Jonathan Marx enters dark room with a candle in his hand lighting up his face::

OLD MAN! Are you in here OLLLLLDD MAN?

Don't think I haven't been keeping my eye on you. I've been watching EACH and EVERYONE of your matches. But I'm still looking for you OLD MAN...

I saw your matches against Ryan Roberts, The Jobber, and Manson, but I didn't see Golden Hawk. I saw an OLD MAN. An OLD MAN who is a disgrace to the name of Golden Hawk.

Let me tell you a story, about a great wrestler from Texas, the toughest wrestler ever to come from the state, his name was Golden Hawk. He resembled you in many ways, but with less wrinkles and a desire in his heart to set the world on fire. When I was a little kid, I watched Golden Hawk take on the best that RPWA & MFL had to offer and he put them in their place. He was the epitome of everything I believed, that wrestling was not some freak show for the masses but a sport. Golden Hawk was one of the toughest SOBs I ever saw. I respect the hell out of the man that I saw on my television growing up. What happened to him?

I don't want to face the Golden Hawk that I saw in the last three matches. If that Golden Hawk shows up, it means nothing to beat him. I want to beat the legend. I want to beat the wrestler I RESPECTED as a kid.

It is up to you Golden Hawk, am I going to get the real Golden Hawk or the OLD MAN who has been doing just enough to win?

If you got the balls to pull yourself out of the gutter, let's make it a three way dance at the PPV between me, you, and Dakota Smith.

I believe in you Golden Hawk, but do you believe in yourself.

Before I go, Manson and I ran into Nevada & Dakota Smith at the local grocery store and we took a picture of them, let's see how it turned out.

::holds up the picture to the candle::

http://scotsmanality.com/4images/data/media/23/sk3.jpg

GAH!

::blows out the candle::

FTB

 

[Manson]

RE: Are you there Golden Hawk?

I believe Nevada is on the left...