(FADE IN and we see the ocean, which is choppy as can be, and the waves are just hammering the beach. Pan around, and we see KATA and DIETER, who are seated on lounge chairs on the deck of the mansion by the beach. JUST MARK is standing, and they are all under an awning that is keeping them from the cold drizzle that is pouring out of the heavens.)
JM: Not much of a day for the beach, is it?
KATA: We aren’t here to relax. (Picks up a bullhorn and speaks into it. It is set so loud that both DIETER and JM cringe) YO! TUBBY! YOU ARE RUNNING (checks her stopwatch) FOURTY SECONDS BEHIND! REMEMBER, THE SLOWER YOU GO, THE MORE YOU OWE! (KATA puts the bullhorn back down beside her and smiles at JM) You were saying?
JM: (Confused) What was that?
KATA: A bullhorn. (Discreetly stage whispers to DIETER) He’s not very bright is he?
DIETER (Shakes his head “no”)
JM: (Now annoyed and confused) I meant what did you mean with that um, comment that you just directed to TEMPESTA, I assume.
DIETER: Nevah assume.
JM: (Clearly annoyed) Yeah, I know, it makes an a55 out of you and me...
DIETER: Vaht?
JM
Annoyed) I said It makes an a55 out of you and...
DIETER: You and who?
JMSensing the danger) Um just me. KATA, what did you mean about TEMPESTA owing you money?
KATA: It’s simple. There are three things that motivate TEMPESTA. First, is the simple joy of battle. That man loves to fight, more than just about anything in this world. He’d rather fight than eat. So we take that energy and get him busting his butt in the ring.
KATA: Second, he likes to ****. But, since he’s not winning matches, we’ve been keeping him away from the ladies.
DIETER: Noh easy task, I assuah you.
KATA: True enough. That is giving him a lot of pent up rage and anger that he is putting elsewhere.
JM: Into Cameramen for example.
(The camera pans to the beach, cutting DIETER out of frame.
KATA: Just so. (Stares at the cameraman for a moment and smiles) He’s not here, you’re safe.
(Camera comes back to the group, with everyone in the shot.)
JM: So what’s the third thing?
KATA: Cash money. The only thing can motivate him more than the other two combined. (DIETER nods) So, for every ten seconds that he is slow, he owes me another five large. (Spies the stopwatch and quickly snags her bullhorn. JM nad DIETER quickly cover their ears) THANKS FOR THE SHOPPING SPREE AT TIFFANY’S YOU POKEY FAT F*****!!! (KATA drops the bullhorn and double checks her watch) He’s like a minute and a half over due. I’m starting to worry about him.
JM: (Laughing) But doesn’t this mean you get (does the math in his head quickly then smiles) $45,000? That’s a serious shopping spree.
KATA: Yeah, but if he’s DEAD I don’t get anything (under her breath) You better not be dead little brother...
DIETER: I’m shuah dat dee leetle mahn iss vine.
KATA: (muttering) Yeah, well, keep tellin’ yourself that tiny.
(There is an awkward silence, JM looks helplessly at the cameraman for a moment, who we can see gesturing at KATA and DIETER. JM get’s it, and turns to the pair)
JM: So, um, you two are tag partners?
KATA: Yup. (Smiles at DIETER) We’re gonna rip this place up, right shorty?
DIETER: (Smiling, still surveying the horizon for a sign of TEMPESTA) You got eet Faht momma.
JM: So when is your first match?
KATA: That’s up to the boss (thumbs over her shoulder at the house.) He’s in charge, and he’s got some sort of plan for when we debut.
JM: Well, what do you think of the tag scene here at NFW?
KATA: I think that it’s filled with a bunch of big, strong, sessy men. Some of whom are about as bright as a box of rocks...
DIETER: Dee Powulls, foh exampule.
KATA: (Nods) And some who are about as dangerous as tissue paper in a rainstorm.
DIETER: (nods) Ah! Yoo mean...
(A sliding door opens up and MR. REDD steps through, surveying the assembled group as he crosses to them under the awning)
MR. REDD: KATA, TEMPESTA want’s to know when you’ll be paying him the money you owe him.
(ALL) What?
KATA: Um, sir, have you been eating those buttons again? We’ve been watching the shoreline for the past (Checks watch) twenty minutes, and he hasn’t made it back yet.
MR. REDD; (Smiling) True enough, but you assumed that he would return via the shore, and not the beach. Since this house is on a massive sand bar, it is all technically beach...
KATAVisibly paling) So if he ran down the road, he’s still on the beach. Fuuuhhhh...
MR. REDDStill smiling) Quite so. Since TEMPESTA got here three and a half minutes ago, which put his time at two minutes under the deadline, you owe him $60,000. When can he expect payment?
KATA: (Looks at MR. REDD for a moment) Wait a minute, Fat boy owed me 55K coming into this, so I only owe him five large. Hah!
MR. REDD: That would be true, but you made today a “special incentive” if you recall, so it was double or nothing.
KATA: (Buries her face in her hands) Why me...
DIETER: I told you not bet against him, he alwaysz get’s it back, wit interezt.
KATA: Yeah, well thanks for the advice. (To MR. REDD) How about this? Tell TEMPESTA that he can double his money, if he wins the belt at Impact. But if he fails, we call it even.
MR. REDD: I will inform TEMPESTA of your offer. That should sufficiently motivate him to start winning. If you will all excuse me. (MR. REDD bows and returns the way he arrived)
JM: (Smugly) Looks like you have a conflict of interests.
KATA: (Mired in thought) That seems to be the case.
(Camera pans back out to the ocean, and we FTB)
JM: Not much of a day for the beach, is it?
KATA: We aren’t here to relax. (Picks up a bullhorn and speaks into it. It is set so loud that both DIETER and JM cringe) YO! TUBBY! YOU ARE RUNNING (checks her stopwatch) FOURTY SECONDS BEHIND! REMEMBER, THE SLOWER YOU GO, THE MORE YOU OWE! (KATA puts the bullhorn back down beside her and smiles at JM) You were saying?
JM: (Confused) What was that?
KATA: A bullhorn. (Discreetly stage whispers to DIETER) He’s not very bright is he?
DIETER (Shakes his head “no”)
JM: (Now annoyed and confused) I meant what did you mean with that um, comment that you just directed to TEMPESTA, I assume.
DIETER: Nevah assume.
JM: (Clearly annoyed) Yeah, I know, it makes an a55 out of you and me...
DIETER: Vaht?
JM
Annoyed) I said It makes an a55 out of you and...DIETER: You and who?
JM
Sensing the danger) Um just me. KATA, what did you mean about TEMPESTA owing you money?KATA: It’s simple. There are three things that motivate TEMPESTA. First, is the simple joy of battle. That man loves to fight, more than just about anything in this world. He’d rather fight than eat. So we take that energy and get him busting his butt in the ring.
KATA: Second, he likes to ****. But, since he’s not winning matches, we’ve been keeping him away from the ladies.
DIETER: Noh easy task, I assuah you.
KATA: True enough. That is giving him a lot of pent up rage and anger that he is putting elsewhere.
JM: Into Cameramen for example.
(The camera pans to the beach, cutting DIETER out of frame.
KATA: Just so. (Stares at the cameraman for a moment and smiles) He’s not here, you’re safe.
(Camera comes back to the group, with everyone in the shot.)
JM: So what’s the third thing?
KATA: Cash money. The only thing can motivate him more than the other two combined. (DIETER nods) So, for every ten seconds that he is slow, he owes me another five large. (Spies the stopwatch and quickly snags her bullhorn. JM nad DIETER quickly cover their ears) THANKS FOR THE SHOPPING SPREE AT TIFFANY’S YOU POKEY FAT F*****!!! (KATA drops the bullhorn and double checks her watch) He’s like a minute and a half over due. I’m starting to worry about him.
JM: (Laughing) But doesn’t this mean you get (does the math in his head quickly then smiles) $45,000? That’s a serious shopping spree.
KATA: Yeah, but if he’s DEAD I don’t get anything (under her breath) You better not be dead little brother...
DIETER: I’m shuah dat dee leetle mahn iss vine.
KATA: (muttering) Yeah, well, keep tellin’ yourself that tiny.
(There is an awkward silence, JM looks helplessly at the cameraman for a moment, who we can see gesturing at KATA and DIETER. JM get’s it, and turns to the pair)
JM: So, um, you two are tag partners?
KATA: Yup. (Smiles at DIETER) We’re gonna rip this place up, right shorty?
DIETER: (Smiling, still surveying the horizon for a sign of TEMPESTA) You got eet Faht momma.
JM: So when is your first match?
KATA: That’s up to the boss (thumbs over her shoulder at the house.) He’s in charge, and he’s got some sort of plan for when we debut.
JM: Well, what do you think of the tag scene here at NFW?
KATA: I think that it’s filled with a bunch of big, strong, sessy men. Some of whom are about as bright as a box of rocks...
DIETER: Dee Powulls, foh exampule.
KATA: (Nods) And some who are about as dangerous as tissue paper in a rainstorm.
DIETER: (nods) Ah! Yoo mean...
(A sliding door opens up and MR. REDD steps through, surveying the assembled group as he crosses to them under the awning)
MR. REDD: KATA, TEMPESTA want’s to know when you’ll be paying him the money you owe him.
(ALL) What?
KATA: Um, sir, have you been eating those buttons again? We’ve been watching the shoreline for the past (Checks watch) twenty minutes, and he hasn’t made it back yet.
MR. REDD; (Smiling) True enough, but you assumed that he would return via the shore, and not the beach. Since this house is on a massive sand bar, it is all technically beach...
KATA
Visibly paling) So if he ran down the road, he’s still on the beach. Fuuuhhhh...MR. REDD
Still smiling) Quite so. Since TEMPESTA got here three and a half minutes ago, which put his time at two minutes under the deadline, you owe him $60,000. When can he expect payment?KATA: (Looks at MR. REDD for a moment) Wait a minute, Fat boy owed me 55K coming into this, so I only owe him five large. Hah!
MR. REDD: That would be true, but you made today a “special incentive” if you recall, so it was double or nothing.
KATA: (Buries her face in her hands) Why me...
DIETER: I told you not bet against him, he alwaysz get’s it back, wit interezt.
KATA: Yeah, well thanks for the advice. (To MR. REDD) How about this? Tell TEMPESTA that he can double his money, if he wins the belt at Impact. But if he fails, we call it even.
MR. REDD: I will inform TEMPESTA of your offer. That should sufficiently motivate him to start winning. If you will all excuse me. (MR. REDD bows and returns the way he arrived)
JM: (Smugly) Looks like you have a conflict of interests.
KATA: (Mired in thought) That seems to be the case.
(Camera pans back out to the ocean, and we FTB)