Can I Do It Again?
<b>Soundtrack</b>: (Suggested Listening While Reading RP)
“Silver and Cold” by AFI (featured in RP)
“45” by Shine Down (featured in RP)
“Lost in a Portrait” by Trapt (featured in RP)
“My Immortal” by Evanescence
“The Game” by Disturbed
“Echo” by Trapt
“Enjoy the Silence” by Depeche Mode
“The Nephilim” by AFI
<hr>
Rain patters to the cement as the piano starts up in the background. Joshua Kosidlo is seen walking down the cement sidewalk, as he shimmers in silver, and in cold. He is in a pair of baggy blue jeans, and white t-shirt. He wears a leather jacket with leather biker gloves. He wears black leather boots, and on his head a black leather beret.
<I>Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one
Your sins into me</I>
A man stands before us now, his return to the squared circle, his return to the lifestyle he swore he’d leave behind…
He thought things would all change when he got married, he thought things would all change when he had a baby… but nothing ever did change for him, things just stayed the way they were before.
<I>As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me) Your sins into...
(Your sins into me) Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one</I>
Joshua grew up watching wrestling, he grew up acting out wrestling in the backyard. Joshua was a wrestler, he was a fighter, Joshua was born to do this…
So as he walks down the sidewalk, alongside the street, the late night sky illuminating him in shadows and mystery. Ironically the one thing that stays constant with Joshua everywhere he goes.
A red Cheval passes him by splashing a small amount of water in his direction. The camera follows the car for a moment to see a very attractive young blonde woman in the car talking away on her cell phone. The camera pans back to where Joshua was standing and we do not see him there.
The camera turns to the right a bit to see Joshua walking into a small coffee house. The camera follows suit. Inside the coffee house Joshua takes a seat at a small booth, the seat are hard plastic benches with wooden tables covered with a hardened plastic. Joshua sits alone awaiting a waitress to come over to him. He does not wait long as a tall slender brunette approaches him with pad and pen in hand.
“What can I get you hun?” The slender brunette asks.
Joshua looks up to her, and smiles. “Just a coffee please.” He looks so peaceful yet at the same time so very distraught.
“Alright, and will anyone be joining you tonight?”
“No, I’m alone…”
“You are?” She seems as though she did not expect to hear that from him. Smiling she records his order, before repeating it back to him. “Just one coffee then, that’ll be right up in a minute.”
The brunette walks away, Joshua notices the uniform is rather simple. It is made out of a simple pink fabric trimmed in white around the sleeves and hem of the skirt. He notices the typicality of it with any diner’s mandatory attire.
Deciding there is nothing else of interest at the moment he looks down to the table, suddenly becoming very deep in thought.
<I>Am I really going to do this again? It’s been so long… could I really still have it? God… I’m almost thirty-two years old… my body feels like it’s almost eighty… what if I can’t do it… what if I step in the ring and I freeze up… I haven’t been the same since that accident… since I fell from such a high structure… what if…</I>
“Here you go hun, one cup of coffee.”
Joshua quickly snaps back to reality from his thoughts, though a bit startled he takes the coffee from the brunette’s hands. Only now does he look up to see her tag sitting above her rather shapely breasts. The tag reads <b>Cindy</b>. Joshua takes the coffee nodding in appreciation.
“Hey you okay there?” she asks him, concern quite visible across her face. “You seemed a little startled there.”
“Yeah, I’m just fine…” Joshua pauses. “Just thinking…”
“Okay…” Cindy is a bit hesitant to let it go at that, but it’s not her job to question. “If you need anything babe, just give me a holler.”
Cindy walks away. Joshua takes a sip of his coffee after wrapping his hands around the mug. Peering down into the mug, his reflection shines back at him… that almost thirty-two year old reflection.
<I>So I’m actually going to do it… oh man, she’s not going to be very happy now is she?</I>
An image flashes in the coffee of Josh falling from a gigantic steel pyramid structure. Another image flashes of him squirming on the ground, his legs not moving, his body… his body paralyzed…
<I>I could’ve died…</I>
The entire screen goes back to seeing Josh being carried out on a stretcher, unable to move, tears going down his face.
<I>Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
You keep these feelings, no one knows
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart</I>
We see Joshua in rehab trying to get his body back into a shape that will allow him to walk. The clips of the surgery on his back and of him in physical therapy for his legs follow up in a flashing frenzy.
<I>And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45</I>
“You want some more coffee?”
Joshua turns to Cindy and shakes his head no.
“Alright then… I’m heading out now, so here is your bill. You have a nice night sir.”
Joshua receives the bill and looks back to the table. He doesn’t see her leave, but hears the bell on the door as it closes behind her. Deciding to leave he pays the bill and heads out the door back to the rainy evening.
Joshua heads across the street and as he passes by one of the many pawn shops open late at night something catches his eye.
Turning towards the window he notices sitting there is a framed picture of him in the early part of his career, back when he was twenty-six years old. The picture shows him in a match with his cousin Spencer Smith.
<I>I remember that match… it was my first Pay-per View match ever…</I>
We flash to that match, Spencer and Joshua are in a tie up, Joshua whips him into the ropes and Spencer rebounds ducking a clothesline and hitting the ropes on the other end, Joshua turns around quickly to see Spencer leaping through the air at him, Joshua catches him and delivers a power slam onto his cousin. You can hear the fans getting into the match.
“Hey, didn’t expect to see you again so soon!”
Josh turns around to see Cindy standing beside him at the pawnshop window.
“You know, I thought you looked familiar…” Cindy pauses for a moment waiting for a response from Josh. When one doesn’t come she continues. “I didn’t realize it really until now… but I was there that night. You were wrestling as Vortex then weren’t you?”
Joshua nods to her, “Yeah… and that was my first ever Pay-per View… a match with my cousin.”
“Black hole, wasn’t that his name?”
“Yeah…” Josh pauses as he stares at the image. “We had been a tag team at first, but we split up at that point.”
“I see… I recall that actually.”
“Yeah.” Joshua still seems sort of distant.
“Well you have a good night, I must be heading home.”
“Yeah, you too.”
Cindy heads back down the other way as Joshua stares more intently on that image.
<I>I analyze… everything
I know what you mean
I answer my questioning
All that I need…</I>
<I>I want to surrender…
I want you to see
All the signs
All the faces inside…</I>
Joshua turns away from the portrait, walking back down the street. A red Cheval passes him by which the camera follows for a bit, in the drivers seat is a very attractive blonde. The camera pans back away from the car to find Joshua staring directly into the camera, his eyes fixated quite awkwardly. A chilling sensation comes over him, visible in his shivers.
<I>I’m going to do it again… I just hope I can get back to myself… I just hope that I can… I guess I have to start it off from the beginning, start if off with The American and work my way back up...</I>
"That's it... American as cliched as it sounds you're gonna go down... and I'm gonna break you, because I'm back and ready to kick some ass."
Joshua regaining himself from his thoughts walks down the street and out of sight, as he does this the rain finally stops. And the camera fades out to black.