(Fade into THE AMERICAN's Whitelandia compound. Cut to the living room where THE AMERICAN sits, holding his International Title.)
THE AMERICAN: After a nice break from the grind, I come back to see the most unamerican anti Patriot in NWL still whining about the American way. This is not communist Russia Pulsar, in this country we take vacations to enjoy our success. We sit back and look at the other people who could never match us, especially these NWL hacks.
I am sitting here completely unchallenged for this title. The fact is, there was no one to challenge me last week. No one worth the effort of getting out of bed to bother with. In fact, there is only one man who would even have a shot at winning this title, and his name is Maelstrom, and even his odds wouldn't be too good.
But of course Pulsar you bring out victories over Irish stereotypes and other hacks as if I am supposed to be impressed by it? That week after week you were able to defeat people even more pathetic than yourself? Very impressive, you found someone more tiresome, less talented, and more pathetic than Pulsar. I never thought it would have been possible, but obviously your little string of victories proves me wrong.
Pulsar, don't even kid yourself into thinking you can win this title back. It simply isn't going to happen. The enemies of freedom will never hold the International Title again. The enemies of democracy will never grasp its golden splendor, and you as their king will be beaten back to where you came from for daring to defy both the American, and the American people.
You are also confused as to the nature of the International Title. It was not created for some hack who couldn't win a real belt to defend every week against his fellow hacks. By doing so you devalued the belt down to a level of swine like Jared Poe.
And now I am forced to fix things, as I always must do. First I had to bring credibility to the whole league, then to the belt. To finally show both the league and the title were not the haven of anti American scum who had nothing better to do than prance around on television spreading their propaganda.
Do you realize how hard it is to remove the taint off of something when it reaches a level of swine like Jared Poe? It is almost impossible.
People will always say "Oh, even JARED POE could have won that belt." There is no greater insult, at least, I could never think of a greater insult. But you managed to drag the belt down to that level Pulsar, as only an untalented hack like yourself could drag.
You bragging about beating up a Shamrock was just the final nail in the coffin of any hope you had for credibility. No one cares how your situation continually changes from flop house to flop house. There was so much apathy towards your title reigns that your opponents didn't even show up for matches.
So I can't say I know why you have a grin on your face. After being beaten so badly in our last encounter I can't see how you hope to win this time. How can you adapt to either being pinned to the mat, or tapping out? How can you adapt to my fist making contact with your gut, and my knee hitting your face?
Your limited mental capacities prevent you from ever being able to do this Pulsar. You can't match up with me mentally, as you couldn't physically. If I had felt like it I am sure I could have simply psyched you out of ever coming down to the ring for this match. I mean, it couldn't be tough with a man who thinks it is impressive that he beat Shamrock. From that sort of a mental low it isn't much further to convince him that he's better off not fighting me. But then again, forfeiting this match would save you a lot of money in doctor's bills and rehab.. so perhaps it would have been the smart thing to do, and an Anti American swine such as yourself would never do that.
(Fade out)
