EpyonMarx
New member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2003
- Messages
- 1,004
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- Location
- Nottingham, England
- Website
- www.karl-brown.co.uk
(((FADE IN - to Lord Coyner Pollard, sitting in a high-backed leather chair. Jeeves is standing beside him)))
Lord Coyner Pollard: It baffles Us, does it not, Jeeves, how one who claims English heritage, such as Legion, can fail to hear you when you mention Liverpool?
Jeeves: Yes, M'lud.
Lord Coyner Pollard: And it is even more confusing, is it not, that he should think that just because the unwashed masses (unwashed by British standards, being yobs, and not by Colonial standards; that is, being American) purchase music from so-called musicians whom have some affinity or other to a town, that makes that place... musical? Or a city?
The Beatles? Oasis? Such disgusting, Common muck...
If he wishes to call himself English, then, Our word, he should instead listen to true music - to the fine folk music, or the London Philharmonic. He should do as We do, and purchase a box at the Prom.
For until then, he is merely demonstrating how Common he is. He is not, as We are, a model of Englishness.
No, Legion. You are but a poor imitation, pretending to be British. Not even the Irish would accept someone as poor as you.
Manchester, indeed. What culture does Manchester truly have? What historic buildings of significance are there? Where is the history, the essence, of the town?
Why, Manchester has only had City status for one hundred and fifty five years! And yet you claim it as some sort of... haven?
Let me guess - you are one of the fifteen... yes, fifteen... per cent whom are foreign born?
Like a thorn in the Lancastrian rose... Manchester.
'Tis a dump.
In fact... We shall make a representation to Her Majesty, when next We meet with Her, and inform her of Our intention to purchase Lancaster from its present owner, such that we might RID the country of that... cess-pool... Manchester...
Moss Side...
And not even a decent cricket ground.
So far behind... it almost makes the Colonies seem necessary.
(((FADE OUT)))
Lord Coyner Pollard: It baffles Us, does it not, Jeeves, how one who claims English heritage, such as Legion, can fail to hear you when you mention Liverpool?
Jeeves: Yes, M'lud.
Lord Coyner Pollard: And it is even more confusing, is it not, that he should think that just because the unwashed masses (unwashed by British standards, being yobs, and not by Colonial standards; that is, being American) purchase music from so-called musicians whom have some affinity or other to a town, that makes that place... musical? Or a city?
The Beatles? Oasis? Such disgusting, Common muck...
If he wishes to call himself English, then, Our word, he should instead listen to true music - to the fine folk music, or the London Philharmonic. He should do as We do, and purchase a box at the Prom.
For until then, he is merely demonstrating how Common he is. He is not, as We are, a model of Englishness.
No, Legion. You are but a poor imitation, pretending to be British. Not even the Irish would accept someone as poor as you.
Manchester, indeed. What culture does Manchester truly have? What historic buildings of significance are there? Where is the history, the essence, of the town?
Why, Manchester has only had City status for one hundred and fifty five years! And yet you claim it as some sort of... haven?
Let me guess - you are one of the fifteen... yes, fifteen... per cent whom are foreign born?
Like a thorn in the Lancastrian rose... Manchester.
'Tis a dump.
In fact... We shall make a representation to Her Majesty, when next We meet with Her, and inform her of Our intention to purchase Lancaster from its present owner, such that we might RID the country of that... cess-pool... Manchester...
Moss Side...
And not even a decent cricket ground.
So far behind... it almost makes the Colonies seem necessary.
(((FADE OUT)))
