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Malice 2: Part 1

Duke Williams

League Member
Feb 2, 2007
Chicago, IL
It’s a small sized locker room with Duke Williams and Ed Butkis sitting at a table playing some kind of card game.

Ed Butkis: The show starts in five minutes, and if we don’t have a deal by then we’re never going to have a deal.

Duke Williams: Are you telling me to **** or get off the pot?

Ed Butkis: In a round about way, yes.

Duke Williams: A total buy out is out of the question?

Ed Butkis: Yes. Unless you inflate that number by two.

Duke Williams: You’re out of your ****ing mind.

Ed Butkis: Then no deal.

Duke Williams: But you will merge for the dollars I’m offering?

Ed Butkis: Yes. 70/30 and I’ll give you a buy out option from me in one year.

Duke Williams: So I will have total control with 70%?

Ed Butkis: As long as you retain myself, my brother Sheik Sandwich, and Big Elwood at our current salary’s then yes.

Duke Williams: That’s almost extortion.

Ed Butkis: You mention extortion again and I’ll have your legs broken.

The Malice man makes an angry face before laughing hard.

Duke Williams: Animal House?

ED Butkis: Dean Wormser was always my favorite. So do we have a deal?

Duke puts down his cards showing three aces, then grabs the golden pen. He signs the contract then pushes it to Ed Butkis who also signs it. They shake hands as the intro to the show starts to play.

"Sweet Home Chicago" by Robert Johnson plays as shots of the PCW action is shown. It’s a sloppy editing job but it gets the message across ending with a shot of the 7’3" giant known as Big Elwood holding up the title. The camera then pans the crowd of about 150 college aged kids with beer cans in their hands.

Bob Pike: WELCOME TO PCW LIVE on WGN!! I’m Bob Pike filling in for Ed Butkis whom is busy doing some business with wrestling legend Duke Williams.

Sheik Sandwich: He’s selling out to that drunken hillbilly who is going to fire us all.

Bob Pike: I do have to say there is a tension here tonight amongst the roster here tonight.

Sheik Sandwich: Duke Williams is a drunk, a liar, and a womanizer. Another words he’s fun on a Saturday night but not a guy you want to report to Monday morning.

Bob Pike: Well, time will tell and tonight the undefeated Big Elwood put up his 15 year win streak in a tag match with his partner Burt Perlow against Stinky Pete and Pedophilia Man. Stinky and Pedo Man recorded these comments earlier, lets take a look.

A cheap video flip seguae is used as the camera cuts to a creepy Astro Van pulling up in front of a park. It stops as Stinky Pete and Pedophilia man exit.

Pedophilia Man: Hey kids want some candy?
The creepy man asks as he rubs his mustache.

Stinky Pete: Tonight the sweetness will be the defeetness of Elwood. If you smell what I’m reeking.

Pedophilia Man: Hide the kids because a fifteen year old is going down on me tonight.

Stinky Pete: Don’t you mean a 15 year old win steak is going down to you?

Pedophilia Man: Umm something like that.

Stinky Pete: Your one sick man.

Pedophilia Man: Your one stinky dude Pete, and tonight the Stinkster and the Pedster are going to run wild on you ELWOOD! Cus we’re sick enough to do what we have to do to win! It’s not because we’re evil; it’s just a sickness we can’t control. Don’t hate us, pity us and give us mercy in your court rooms.

The camera cuts to the ring announcer standing proudly in the ring as the rowdy crowd cheers on.

Tim Johnson: The following contest is scheduled for one fall introducing to you first, weighing in at 260 pounds, and standing 6 foot 4 inches, he currently resides in HELL, he is DEATH ANDERSON!!

"Midnight" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers gets the arena jumping as out from the back enters the creepy looking old man dressed in an all black jump suit. His black attire is a cool contrast to his long white beard, flowing white hair, and red eyes. He gives the crowd evil looks as he slowly makes his way to the ring.

Sheik Sandwich: This man is the definition of evil!! He makes Hitler look like Hello Kitty! Hell this man is so evil Lex Luther called him up to get some info on how to be more evil.

Bob Pike: I don’t think that’s true.

Tim Johnson: His Opponent weighing in at 225 pounds, and standing 6 foot 3 inches, he currently resides in the BADLANDS of Illinois, he is Bad Guy "Bag Man" Myers!!

Gangsters Paradise by Coolio pounds the bass as out from the back enters BGBMM a good looking guy in his twenty’s wearing a robbers mask and prison stripes. He passes out paper bags with eye holes cut out to the people on his way to the ring.

Sheik Sandwich: Here is a paper bag Pike, use it or lose it.

Bob Pike: I refuse.

Bad Guy Bag Man Myers enters the ring and rips the mic out of Tim Johnson’s hands.

Myers: There is a lot of ugly in this world and most of it is right here in this arena. I refuse to wrestle in front of this ugliness. Bags have been disturbed and if you don’t place them on your funky faces I will not wrestle.

The camera pans over to Bob Pike who is bag-less and Sheik Sandwich whom has a bag over his head.

Sheik Sandwich: Put on your bag or we won’t see the greatness of the Bag Man!!

Bob Pike: Never going to happen.

Myers: Bag up, or I’m out!

Death Anderson grabs Myers by the neck and throws him into the turnbuckle.

Bob Pike: Business is now open.

Sheik Sandwich: This bag-less nation blows.

Anderson follows up the throw with a big boot to the chin of the dazed Myers which sends him to the mat. The crowd oddly cheers on the old dead man as he smiles out at them.

Bob Pike: Death Anderson maybe evil but tonight against the Bag Man I think he is the favorite.

Sheik Sandwich: (muffled speech)......

Bob Pike: Take that silly bag off I can’t hear you.

Sheik Sandwich: (more muffled speech).......

Bob Pike: Later tonight we have that massive tag match, and I hope to see Elwood put
both those guys down. Two of the most hated men in the history of wrestling going up against one of the most loved with the help of Burt Perlow.

Sheik Sandwich: (muffled speech)....

Bob Pike: Also Judy McDreamy is going to take on Space Rogers. What a night.
In the ring Myers has regained a bit of his steam and is back on his feet exchanging blows with Death Anderson.

Bob Pike: The big man Anderson is stumbling.

Sheik Sandwich: (muffled speech)...

Bob Pike: ENOUGH.

Bob Pike rips the bag off the head of his broadcast partner.

Sheik Sandwich: What was that for?

Bob Pike: We couldn’t understand you.

Sheik Sandwich: You missed my whole dissertation on the powers of good and evil?

Bob Pike: Yes.

Sheik Sandwich: Damn it.

Bob Pike: Wait a minute!!

In the ring the two wrestlers are bouncing off the ropes going full steam at each other. Just before they collide Myers grabs the ref and pulls him in front of him taking the impact of Anderson sending all three to the mat.


Sheik Sandwich: What the hell was the ref doing jumping in the middle of the action.

Bob Pike: He was pulled in by Myers.

Sheik Sandwich: No that’s not how it happened.

Bob Pike: Put the bag back on!

Myers is first to get up and heads over to his corner where he grabs a plastic bag. He then walks over to the Death Anderson and places it over his head suffocating him from behind. Death Anderson tries to fight it but he can’t and after about a minute the fight fades away.

Bob Pike: What the hell is this?

Sheik Sandwich: I didn’t see anything.

Bob Pike: Its right there in the ring.

Sheik Sandwich: I hear Myers is a connected guy, and I’m not going to be a witness my friend. Look, my monitor has a rerun of the Jefferson’s on it. That is what I’m watching, and boy is George and Wheeze funny!

Bob Pike: GET SOME GOD DAMN HELP OUT HERE!!!! This is a murder!!! HOLY CHRIST!!!
The ref slowly gets back up, watches the murder, and calls for the bell. Death Anderson isn’t moving so Myers lets go of the bag. He then raises his hand in victory and points out with crazy eyes at the crowd who is just stunned. The ref pulls the bag off the face of Anderson who is blue. He checks his pulse but is getting nothing the paramedics rush to the ring.

Sheik Sandwich: Death Anderson has the blues!

Bob Pike: That isn’t funny.

Sheik Sandwich: I think it is, but I didn’t laugh once during Space Balls. So I guess humor is subjective.

Myers just laughs as the paramedics try to revive the old man. They give up after about two minutes and pronounce him dead.

Bob Pike: Wow.

Sheik Sandwich: I could go for a fluffernutter sandwich right about now.
The crowd pops as Death Anderson springs up from the dead straight to his feet. He slowly walks toward Myers who turns around and freaks out. Before he can escape he gets caught by a choke hold. Anderson then power-bombs Myers leaving him knocked out in the center of the ring. The ref raises Anderson’s hand.

Tim Johnson: The winner of this bout by disqualfication DEATH ANDERSON!!

Sheik Sandwich: He should not have won!! Coming back from the dead is clearly a violation of the rules.

Bob Pike: Take it up with the management we’ll be right back after the break as Sergeant
Pepper takes on Guy McVer.


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