Fade in to Showtime Steven James standing in a Dunkin Donuts parking lot. Behind him is Lincoln Jones standing around oddly. James looks at Jones, then at the camera, and begins.
SJ: Hello boys and girls and welcome to another promo at my favorite place, Dunkin Donuts. Ok, now onto business, it seems to me that people have been taken back by Linc's power, well if that's the case then all i can say is that you should be. With his strength and my speed we are unmatched. Now, I wish there was some way to show off his strength.
in the background Jones has decided to pick up the back end of a car and press it to his chest like a dumbell
SJ: I mean i wish we could show you...now how would we do that?
James seems almost oblivious to Jones' feet of strength.
SJ: I mean, he's torn a car door off it's freakin hinges...but that was then and this is now...so how could we show you?
Jones stops pressing the car and walks over to James.
SJ: Oh, hey Linc. I was thinking of how we could show off your strength. Any suggestions?
(As the camera fades in, we see The General standing behind Jon and Ric Savage. Tony Ross is awaiting to interview them in front of a GLCW interview set).
TONY ROSS: We're here with Major Impact and their manager, The General. What's your reaction to the promo we just saw featuring Lincoln Jones and "Showtime" Steven James?
RIC SAVAGE: Hey boy! Lincoln Bones. You think that impresses me, man? I was bench pressing Volkswagens while you were still trying to keep your hands off your "pee pee."
(All three men laugh as Tony Ross grimaces)
RIC SAVAGE: I mean, that little show is supposed to impress me? Well, chico, that don't impress me much. Let's face it, Linc. You're a virtual unknown. And how did you hook up with 'Showtime" to begin with....is there something more to the relationship that meets the eye....???
(All three men get bug-eyed for a second followed by an "ooooooo)
RIC SAVAGE: The point is, brothers, that when we meet in that ring, you...will...feel...a....MAJOR.....IMPACT!!!!! Tell em' bro....
JON SAVAGE: WELL.....it looks like we've returned to the GLCW television scene. Seems that ratings were down without us, eh? Seems that the front office has already gotten a case of smarts and decided to let us climb the tag-team ladder after all. And who better to start with than "Showoff" Steven James and his boyfriend, "Stinkin'" Lincoln Jones. Well after our match, they'll be calling grease spot and dust, cause' that's exactly what we're going to stomp you into......
THE GENERAL: Tony Ross...remember....it's not nice to fool with Major Impact. Jon...and...Ric....are like a couple of copperhead snakes. REady to strike at a moment's notice. And with the fearless leadership of The General behind them, they're destined to win the GLCW tag team titles.....
Fade in to Showtime Steven James and Lincoln Jones standing in the office of their gym. They are dressed in suits with the jackets off. They are watching a tv that is showing Major Impacts' promo. At the end of it James turns it off with a weird smile on his face. He turns to Jones who is not smiling.
Jones: Ok, you win. Jones then proceeds to hand James some money
James: I told you they were going to go with the "more than friends" thing. I told ya that certain people in this federation are as predictable as day following night and visa versa. And Savage...well he's the worst of them all.
Jones: Well he may be bad, but if memory serves me correctly didn't he pin your shoulders to the mat? Jones giving a satisfied grin.
James: Yes, he did, but that had nothing to do with my lack of skill nor was it a testament of his, plain and simple i was still very green and not nearly as experienced. And as far as I'm concerned he's overrated to the point of making the whole audience sick.
Jones: And how bout them nicknames, i believe yours was "Showoff" and my was "Stinkin."
James: Yes i know, they were very intelligent weren't they? As a matter of fact it just proves how intelligent they can be...when being compared to a first grader.
Jones: Hey, seeing that they use first grade insults do you think they have recess? And make sure that our match is early so they don't miss their bedtimes.
James: Sad but true, we're facing children in adult bodies. And how bout the General?
Jones: So their names are Jon and Ric right?
James: Yup, but don't ask me which one's dumber because i haven't figured it out yet.
Jones: Steve, the world may never know. Their mother must have done some serious drugs when she was pregnant with them.
James: And considering the way they turned out i'll bet she's still doing those drugs.
James: Well Linc it's time to go to that charity benefit.
Jones: After you.
They put their jackets on and the camera fades out
(The camera fades into a ring, set up deep in GLCW territory. Jon and Ric Savage -- without the General -- are shaking their heads at the recent promo by James and Jones.)
RIC: That's the best they can do? That's it??? I thought that since they were a couple, they surely could come up with something BETTER.....
JON: Tell me about it. First grade. They didn't even get out of the first grade. And after our match, they won't see tomorrow.....
RIC: I'm just glad General didn't see that. He would've been livid!!!
JON: Yeah, I know it. Showtime, your shows over, baby. I'm gonna pin you to the mat again and then humiliate you so bad that your boyfriend, "Johnson" Jones, is gonna run like a scared teenage girl. I'm gonna whip you like a red-headed bastard stepchild at a West Virginia family reunion. You guys seem to have a problem....and that problem is taking Jon and Ric Savage seriously. Yeah, we've had our ups and downs here in GLCW...even lost some matches. Don't forget, ladies, that we've won a good many matches, too. Don't take us for granted and don't assume this match is going to be a cakewalk. Underestimating us is the biggest mistake that you two pantywaists can make....just remember that.....tell em' Ric.....
RIC: (mockingly) we're facing children in adult bodies....that's exactly how we feel about this match, cept' you two but piarates are the children in the adult bodies. After we get through with you, it's going to be abused children in broken adult bodies. Just remember that we were responsible for the demise of one of the most popular tag-teams in GLCW history, The Oak Street Beach Patrol. Unfortunately for you two shower buddies, YOU'RE NEXT!!!!! And when you're layin' in the hospital bed lickin' each others wounds, as boyfriends tend to do I'm sure, then don't ask "what happened???" cause' you'll know the answwer....
YOU FELT A MAJOR IMPACT!
JON: See, boys, it's mind over matter. We don't mind beatin' you cause you two girls don't matter. And congrats, by the way...
JON: Yeah, congrats to "shows over" and "stinkin'" cause' you two boys have just won yourselves an a$$ whuppin'......
(The pair then exit the area where the TV is now showing a "GLCW" logo.....)
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