Re: MAIN EVENT: World Heavyweight Championship Lumberjack Match - Republican v Marx (c)
So it has come down to this, Marx. One final showdown before the huge, world-changing interpromotional pay-per-view event, an event that could only have been brought to us with the providence and economic good fortune that the Republican-controlled Congress had laid the groundwork for providing and the Democrat-controlled Congress of now hasn't screwed up yet. You, the Communist paper Champion, still holding my title belt in a charade concocted by the Moscow-San Francisco axis of socialist subjugation, and me, the noble, moral warrior, the man who has overcome everything that the world has put in front of me to regain that which I never should have lost in the first place.
Don't deny it, Marx. You know your time grows short. You know that you are a flash in the pan, especially after you let your Championship belt slip out of your grasp for that short while, a short enough while for the world to see what kind of fraud you really are. I saw you in your moment of weakness, and you're lucky you only slipped against the cross-dressing, effeminate wannabe rapper known as Shawn Hart. If that had been against a moral, Republican wrestler, a fine upstanding conservative citizen such as myself, you'd have faded away into obscurity by now.
But now, you are faced with the shiningest beacon of conservative light in the wrestling industry today. You are finally about to reap the fate you sowed when you made your little back alley, backdoor deal with Beau Michaels to steal my Championship away from me, when you needed to rely on the rage of the frog to keep me away from my title. You now shall meet your ultimate justice, and I am the judge, jury and executioner. There are no appeals to the liberal justice system. You can't take this to the Ninth Circuit Court and have it overturned. No, you shall meet your fate, and it shall be grim for you, but joyous for America.
You see, it's no coincidence that when you stole my title away from me, this country started to fall apart. It started with the Democratic control of Congress and then filtered down into trusted conservatives betraying our President on Iraq, and people consorting with a known terrorist for the Presidency. That's right people, don't think I'm not onto you and your support of that candidate with the terrorist sounding name.... those who vote Hilary Rodham Clinton shall rue the day they supported her and her jihad!
But all shall be right. Once I retake the New Era World Championship back to the Republican Party, things will look up. Trees will bloom brighter before they're cut down to make paper for our hard-working businessmen. The sun will shine brighter to give light to our oil riggers who give us energy. The people will rejoice enough to take back this country for the Right.
You have nowhere to run, Marx. Even with the lumberjacks outside the ring who hate me, they have one other feature about them. They despise you. And gentlemen, let me reach out to you. Even though we have our differences... an enemy of my enemy is a friend, at least for now. So Daymon, Tact, Hart... yes, even you... Rabesque... *shudder*... I extend the temporary olive branch. If you help me strip this cowardly Communist of his Championship, I shall show leniency on you. I'm still going defeat you in the name of the Republican Party, but I'll try not to maim you in the process.
For the spectre of Communism still looms great. Let us defeat it so we can make this country a great place for you, me, and maybe even the gays to live in.
