MAIN EVENT: Non Title - File v Hart (c)

[TheOriginalSE]

All RP for the main event Non-Title match between PETER FILE and SHAWN HART (c) at RAUCOUS should be done in this folder. Any RP posted outside of the folder will not count.



The RP deadline is 11:59pm PST on WEDNESDAY, December 2nd, 2009. Angles should be sent to wfwnewrestling@gmail.com ..

 

[PeterFile]

(Fade In: The desperation, its stench rotting the buildings surrounding the northern shore of Chicago, with the notion that little help would come their way from a Messiah made famous just a few miles south of the present location. So while this feeling sunk it to the core of the residents, a new mans face would hopefully become the savior of this bleek melancholoy of a town. As the camera zooms pans from a broken window pane on a storefront, to a serene park located adjacent, a man begins to walk towards the camera. With dark jeans that have seen the test of time, and a white Hanes undershirt barely covering his stomach, we know it to be that of Peter File. As the camera moves closer, his lip begins to quiver with excitement and glee.)

File: Amen my children! Your world famous prophet of epic proportions, the Messiah to the masses, protector of the unprotected, unifier of the eunuchs, and tailor to the transgendered is here to report for duty, and once again roll out on top with a satisfied grin. Yeah, yeah.. some of you may be saying, 'But, Pete! Wasn't the only reason you got over on Hart because of your partner?' And to those folks I'd say... well, let me show you for a second..

Peter turns from the camera, and begins to undo his belt. In one seamless motion he tears down his pants and underwear, while he bends at the waist. Swiveling his head, he smiles back at the camera.

File: Y'see, right here? Right where the dark mass that is my pubic region ends, and the blackhole which is my rectum begins? Right there, is where I'd tell those critics to stick their malformed tongue and deeply insert it in a robotic fashion, as to tickle my prostate. For seriously gentlemen, and ladies.. Peter File may have been assisted by his partner, but.. there is no Peter in Team. Unless you're the Chicago Bulls, then of course there's a whole lot of Peter in the team. Can I get a 'zing?'

Now, if it weren't because of my awesomely rad skills on the mat, I wouldn't be graced with the chance to face off against the dominate-tor of the dominatrix, Shawn Jessica Hart. Can I get an amen from the choir! Hallelujah! So, here we are, in the midst of some god awful bedroom community of Chicago, pandering to the slackjawed miscreants of the Midwest.. a couple of Bush votes shy of a stolen election if you feel me. Sitting here in the ... beauty, I guess, you'd call Rosemont we find what many historians will probably note as Peter File's greatest match of his career, against a reigning champion, albeit in a non-title affair for the ages. This marks the second time in a calendar year those running this fine .. mmm mmm mmm.. fine organization have decided to place my lovable face upon a marquee in a championship caliber match. Now, say what you will about my past, and any setbacks that may have occurred in the face of adversity.. because well, I'm living in the present.

I'm not going to proclaim some great win on my part, or even that this will amount to an ACTUAL title shot in my future, but I can state forever and ever, ever, ever, ever, ever and then some more.. that Peter File shall .. nay WILL.. be seen as a top priority within this company. Shawn Hart is a fine competitor.. in the same way sheep are to a lonely farmer, but I'm looking past his prior accomplishments and more towards what he will be faced with in just a short time. We're slowly approaching the curve, and we all know what is around that bend.. and hopefully its a cockmeat sandwich with Hart and I as the main components, and that championship strap as the extra filling.

(Fade Out)

 

[ShawnHartXXX]

At Home w/Hart

FADE IN: SJH, PhD, the Earth-2 Legacy Champion, the NEW World Chamion, and the EPW Intercontinental Champion, is polishing his various trophies and title belts in the den of his home, Le Chateau du Phenom in Orlando. As the camera swings in for a close-up, Hart feigns surprise and grins at the viewing audience.

SJH: "Hah! Didn't see you there."

Grin.

SJH: "Y'know... when I'm not in the ring, setting the standard upon which the entire sports and entertainment world strives to live by... I enjoy relaxing here.... amongst the comforts of home..."

He begins to stroll through his office, when suddenly he notices an envelope on his desk. He quickly grabs it and opens it up. After a quick study of the letter that had been contained within, he looks into the camera with a giggle most gay.

SJH: "Still in the WWR's Top 3... as always. A-ha..ha-ha-ha...a-haaa."

Hart collects himself, then shoots an inquisitive stare into the camera.

SJH: "Indeed, mine is a life of luxury, lavishness... and of Lesbian lovers."

His eyebrows raise most dramatically.

SJH: "But make no mistake about it - while this stylishly decorated den takes on the appearance of an office, my TRUE office is in that squared circle. And when I go to work-"

Again, dramatic brow-raising action.

SJH: "No one gets the job done like me! Peter File, you and I go way back... but for some reason, something tells me that my undeniable awesomeness is a fact that probably escapes your grasp. Though who can blame you? If I got the same level of underaged poon you did, well..... I'd be a major creep! And while that's probably true, I do my business in France where it's more accepted. Roman Polanski style. I mean, as far as the Euros are concerned - if there's grass on the field, PLAY BALL!!"

A sinister look covers SJH's face.

SJH: "If not, play in the dirt? A-ha..ha-ha-ha...a-haaa. But I digress... the point I was trying to make is that despite our similar origins in this crazy wrestling world, our careers have taken different paths entirely.. and while you have been WRESTLING with obscurity, I've wrestled my way into the souls, hearts, and girly parts of millions of fans around the world en route to establishing myself as one of the most dominant dudes in the industry's history!"

He nods his head with self-approval.

SJH: "Bottom line, while I'm thrilled to make your RE-acquaintance, if you think you've got so much as a snowball's chance in HELL of taking me out, you've got another thing comin'! What can I say? As relates to yours truly... if ya try to go over, you're gonna go UNDER! Period!

The Phenom has left the building."

FADE OUT.

 

[PeterFile]

(Fade In: The Dastardly of all Foes Peter File is standing in a poorly lit Motel room wearing an ill-fitting turquoise tuxedo with matching patent leather shoes, fancy Crocodile trim indeed. Looking quite uncomfortable and confused he looks towards the camera, craving an answer for the absurdity before him.)

File: Hey.. so um.. am I overdressed for this party or something? Because, well I've only worn one belt, while my opponent seems to see the need to present himself in such a way where, hell.. maybe he's wearing multiple pairs of pants? I'm not sure.. because, no man needs that many belts to hold up a pair of slacks! Unless he's a little light in the loafers, if you hip cats know what jive speak I be saying. Ya dig? It is cool and all, maybe if I were a man of multiple accomplishments, a nifty wit, a way with all that is doctoral, and a smooth, debonair and suave demeanor I too would feel the need to overcompensate with such bravado.

But.. fortunately I'm Peter File, and as you've come to see over the last decade it doesn't matter if it's a dildo on a pole, or a stripper on a pole. I'll be digging in and bringing the big guns, because mmm.. there's only one way to go.. and that's down, usually. So, if I lose against you my beautiful little starlet, then so be it, but if I win than also.. let it captured amongst the stars and its memory fade out over time. For hey, who knows what could become of our mag.. mm.. nificent battle in the squared circle, it could be a bloodbath.. could be a slobber knocker.. it could be you slobbering on my knob, or it could be so boring that Jimmy Nineyearold changes the channel and decides to jerk it to Christina Aguilera videos on VH1 Classic.

With one swift movement he begins the 'Genie In a Bottle' choreography off rhythm and to the beat of Michael J. Fox.

File: So, as I await your entrance into your office.. sitting patiently, dressed in my finest outfit, awaiting what could be the job of a lifetime, with the true Big Boss Man, I sit and reflect. I reflect y'see.. on my past, the present and the future, and how your office may be filled with plaques, trophies, belts and doodads from all across the wrestling world.. it is not filled mmmm.. with enough Peter, because there's always room for F-I-L-E. We've gone back many a day my good friend, to a century of ye ol.. where men were men, wenches were wenches and the age of consent was whenever the grass hit the field as you, Nicolas Sarkozy and Rosemary's Baby say. Oui Oui!

Covering his face and begins to snicker at his own remark. Cocking his head to the right he scratches barely above his eye and then with a dead pan stares into the camera.

File: Just know my darling that I do not underestimate you, because it has been known for many years that you are a fine example of hard work, excellence and determination. Sadly though, like most holders of a glorious PhD, you spent far too much time studying and not enough time ... mmmm.. hitting the field, you hear me playa? But, as you say.. even you can't get the same level pay grade of poonan as your old Uncle Petey can down at the schoolyard. So while you're busy working the fans with your fancy repertoire of moves, I'm busy selling the tickets with my medley of poses and sexy pouts to the kiddies.. drawing the heat and creating the fire that made the WFW: NEW ask for my contract.

So pooh bear, as I wrestle in my obscurity some more just remember that as our paths cross like strangers in the night, that your sweet, cuddly, warm Peter is waiting for you and he hopes to use more than his mouth to let you meet your maker. Hopefully that maker has home attached and makes some waffles because God dammit I am hungry.

Oh and uh.. Phenom pick up the check because I left my wallet in your mothers vagina.

(Fade Out)