Viewing Life in Higher New Year Resolutions
(Cue up: "The Day the World Went Away" by Nine Inch Nails. Fade into Golem, sitting in a dark room. He's wearing a nice suit and a pointed "Happy New Year" hat.)
Golem: 'Tis the season, right? The season of wishing and hoping and changing? The time when the collected chaff wish to be so much more? The time where I make a New Year's wish to not be forced onto a tag team with an incompetent teammate and have my valuable time wasted. So let's see what's on the docket for RAUCOUS.
(Golem reaches over to a nearby desk and picks up a sheet of paper. He sighs very audibly and runs his clawed hand down over his face.)
Golem: Maybe these wishes take a while to take effect. I say that, because here I am, again tied to a partner who has no business carrying the scrap metal on his shoulder, let alone getting the privilege of teaming with the one they call Golem. Shawn Hart...this isn't our first trip down the well together. If you're in this business as long as I have been and as long as you have been, it's inevitable. Realistically, I should already have Felix Red's belt and preparing to take yours and unify them under the glorious banner of Golem if it weren't Minion and his incompetent refereeing. But the message is simple, Mr. Hart. Keep the belt warm for me, do your job, stay out of my way, and be less terrible than Psycho. Those are the only job qualifications you need. I'll worry about the competition. Heh....the "competition."
(Golem makes air quotes. Golem glances back at the sheet as if in stunned disbelief of what he had previously read.)
Golem: So I finally get my rightfully earned shot at Felix Red and again, Minion rears his ugly head. Beating Felix Red in tag team matches is starting to become passe' for me, but in this case I will make a special exception. I'll won't lie to you, Felix, I hope that when the time comes, you beat Hart to unify the titles. I hope that Golem gets his chance to sink the ship of the last remaining member of LOVE worth anything here. It would be fitting payback due to the continued mediocrity of LOVE and it's constant holding back of the superior Golem. If I didn't get tethered to you collection of misfits, not unlike how I'm currently tethered to Hart, I'd already have that title. But things don't always work out the way you'd hope, I suppose. I've learned that firsthand. So I'll pretend to dance like a puppet for the WFW as I manipulate the strings. The belt coming to it's rightful master is an inevitability at this point. Somewhere in your incoherent proselytizing, Red, you must know it to be true. Somewhere you have to understand that, despite your best efforts to pretend it may not be, a spade is still a spade. You are what you are Golem is what he is. Golem is the superior animal. Now don't get me wrong, Felix. I respect you. You're as talented as they come. But you are simply of an inferior makeup. No amount of heroine or heroism will change the fact that you simply lack the tools necessary to defeat Golem. Soon enough I'll get to sink my claw into the belt. But as is, I'll settle for the opportunity to sink my claw into you. That's better than nothing I suppose. I suspect you and I will have an eventful 2010, Felix. Not unlike my 2009 with Minion.
(Golem grabs a glass of water and takes a sip before setting it back down. Golem points up at the hat.)
Golem: It's a brand new day, Minion. We're pushing into a brand new year, but it's still the same thing with you. If you're not losing to me, you're losing to everyone else. The last time I saw you in the ring, you were busy trying, successfully I suppose, to cheat me out of my rightful opportunity against Felix Red. But that isn't the last time our paths have crossed, is it? Not with me taking the time to drug you and you taking the time to cheapshot me and whatnot. And so it's brand new year and we can end this cycle of violence. Here's the thing, though, Minion....I don't want to. Despite the fact that my inevitable title reign was put on hold because of this torch I carry for you, I enjoyed 2009 quite thoroughly. I returned to the wrestling business almost entirely for the sake of getting the opportunity to do things like I did to you throughout the year. Here's the only problem....you're not progressing at the speed I was hoping for. I expected you to be more of a challenge. I implore you, Minion, please step your efforts up before I take Felix Red under my wing as my new plaything. He even has the title to incentivize me. You? I'm not sure what it is that you offer. I had previously thought that you had a rabid monster hidden beneath your medication. But maybe, time has caught up with you. Maybe you've been on the medication too long and just can't reclaim the past. I'm not sure. I'm starting to wonder if I even care anymore. Eventually, I might simply choose to end our spat by just ending your career. You wouldn't be the first and you likely won't be the last. Because like the day, you're career rose and has begun to fall. It's your twilight and perhaps you just don't have another year in you.
(Golem takes the hat off an examines it.)
Golem: What makes 2009 and 2010 so different? Is it because a calendar rolls over? Is it because the decade changes and we can start new "Best of the Decade" lists? Or is it, perhaps, because those men who shape this world take the opportunity to MAKE the new year different? Some people evolve. Minion can't or won't. Felix Red probably doesn't know what day it is, let alone what year. Hart is irrelevant by pretty much every definition of the word. So the weight falls onto the shoulders of Golem, the Atlas of the WFW, to carry the WFW into the new decade. I will be the beast of burden for the coming nights. When the time comes to battle the EPW, it will be the force of the one they call Golem who will propel us forward. It is my birthright to lead. Hart, you will be the first to get to experience this fact. You have no right to be allowed to ride my coattails to the top, but if it must be so, it must be so.
(Golem takes another sip.)
Golem: Just try not to pull a Psycho.
(Fade to black.)
