[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-30-03 AT 03:05 PM (EST)](FADE IN:..... to an image of a poster advertising the next GLCW Wired card in Joliet, Illinois featuring a title match between GLCW Heavyweight champion Maelstrom vs. "Gentleman" Jonathan Marx. Suddenly the view darkens somewhat as a shadow begins looming over it, then just as suddenly, we see a droplet of water fall onto the middle of the poster itself, immediately causing waves to ripple across it. It's at that point that we realize that we were looking at a reflection from a puddle on the floor all along. The camera then begins to pan upward where we once again see the GLCW Joliet card poster..... and standing alongside it, glaring at it, is a huge figure. His back is to us, water from his drenched black mane still drips across the expanse of his massive back, running curious patterns along his chiseled muscles. In one hand he seems to be holding something, a belt of some kind. The camera then pulls back a little bit to get a closer look at it, revealing it to be the GLCW Heavyweight strap, held carelessly by one end with the buckle resting lazily on the floor. Almost as if sensing our presence, the figure suddenly turns and faces us, a faint grin slowly emerges on his stoic face, revealing to us the identity of the man we've already figured by now to be none other than.....)
MAELSTROM: Looks like everyone's linin' up now..... FINALLY! (smiles broadly) Hell, it sure took long enough.... Raby, Kidd an' now you Marx..... all on back to back cards! Sounds like someone in that front office is finally ACTING on my desire to make ALL my singles matches, regardless of ranking, title matches..... or maybe it's just a matter of circumstance eh? Who knows, but more importantly, WHO CARES?! All that matters, to me at any rate, is that there's now that extra bit of incentive to make these matches that much more wild...... that much more DANGEROUS! That is of course, providing that my opponents direction doesn't falter..... that their perception doesn't blur up on 'em.....
MAELSTROM: Know what I mean Marx? Well, even if ya don't, I'm sure you'll make yer point in yer own fashion, scorin' yer own personal "marx" so to speak. I won't bother getting into yer persona or character as I really don't know much 'bout ya, save for yer apparent "god-worship" of Manson that is. Hey, to each his own I suppose. Ya wanna go an' play the disciple bit with him, that's all on you Marx. Me, I've never been much of a follower an' as for fawning over others? (smiles and shakes his head disparagingly) Well, let's just say I have no problem acknowleding talent.... shamelessly kissin' A$$ however has never been my way. Ya see, whether others view me as a legend, god or phoney means absolutely S(BLEEP)T to me Marx 'cuz I enforce my will whereever an' whenever I want, 'gainst friend or foe alike. An' unlike most, I do it without anyone's help. If you'll 'scuse the pun, I MAKE MY OWN "MARX" IN THIS SPORT! But hey, different strokes eh? As for my views on yer "god-worship" of him, well, as it doesn't really pertain to our match, let's just suffice it to say that opinions DO vary. Anyhow, we seem to be strayin' away from the subject at hand so let's get back on track shall we? And that track Marx, leads to this!
(raises the GLCW title up in the air and momentarily glares at it impassively before putting it back down and resuming.....)
MAELSTROM: This is what it's all 'bout.... or at least it seems to be for most. Is it what it's 'bout for you Marx? I mean, in one of yer recent spots ya inferred that titles weren't yer primary concern..... and as a result, ya kinda looked forward toward Manson or Anarky steppin' in to chase the gold in yer stead. So ya see, it kinda brings the question to mind.... will yer heart be in it? Will ya make that extra effort? Or will ya simply go through the motions, settin' up a convenient excuse of nonchalant disinterest or indifference in the event ya fail to capture this strap? How will a disciple of......
(raises both arms and while still holding the title strap in one, does the finger quote sign)
MAELSTROM: ....."god" handle the reality that awaits him, the reality of facing the very man that not only stripped HIS GOD of the most prestigious title in the GLCW......
(pauses, then continues in whispering tones)
MAELSTROM: ..... but also humbled him into submission in the process....
MAELSTROM: ..... like it or not Jonathan, its time to stop sittin' back, worshippin' an' fawning over others accolades an' time to make yer OWN personal "Marx" in this sport......
(The camera zooms in closer until we see a only a head-shot of Maelstrom glaring at us stoically, a slow curl forming upon his lips as the droplets of water from his drenched black mane continue to drip down his massive frame..... until that is, something that looks like a belt buckle swipes seemingly across the camera lens itself, but instead of smashing the lens, just like before, it causes wild rippling waves to distort the view. A few moments pass before the ripples finally settle down enough for us to make out anything, that anything being the same GLCW Wired Joliet card poster that we saw earlier as it once again focuses on the same Main Event GLCW Title Match headline, right before we..... FADE OUT...... )
"I think that I shall never see, a champion as fit as me"
::Jonathan Marx is sitting under a tree, reading East of Eden by John Steinbach::
JONATHAN MARX: Maelstrom, before I start, as a gentleman, I’d like to make a deal with you. If you don’t mention Manson, neither will I. Personally I don’t think it is appropriate to take away from the title by making our battle over Manson instead of the title over your shoulder. You are the GLCW Heavyweight Champion, you are the ideal right now, and all I care about right now is Maelstrom.
One other thing, you have my word that neither Manson, Anarky, or Minion will interfere in this match, if they do so, I will retire on the spot. I just want a clean match between the two of us, win or lose. They may be at ringside to keep numerous people who are currently obsessed with me out of the match *cough* GOLDEN HAWK *cough* but that is all that they will do.
Now I must say, you’ve been a fighting champion. I respect that. You are a hell of a fighter, but what I don’t respect is how you’ve been discrediting the title. How can someone who has been a fighting champ discredit the title? Let me tell you Maelstrom, you’ve discredited the title through your words. You don’t realize the value of your words and it makes me sick to my stomach as and old school wrestling fan. Maelstrom, the GLCW Heavyweight Title is the most prestigious in all of wrestling because the all of top talent like Anarky, Larry Tact, and Jean Rabesque go out there and bust their ass to be the very best that they can be. They help to set the standard for all the rest who follow and I’m not afraid to say that I’m very proud to compete in a GLCW ring.
But Mael, you are doing us all a disfavor with your obsession with certain people, who will remain nameless, who aren’t even challenging you for the title. What are the fans at home watching GLCW TV suppose to think? Well, he is good champion, but he isn’t the “Man Who Shall Not Be Named” who you and others obsessively mention to a sickening level. The difference between those mouthbreathers and you is that you are the GLCW Heavyweight Champion and wearing that makes you the best man in this company. It is about damn time you started realizing that and start acting like a champion fit to hold the GLCW Heavyweight Title.
::stands up with book in hand::
As much as all that bothers me, there is something which bothers me even more which whenever you say it is like a sharp knife going into my back. Do you know what that is? The fact that you’ve said that you don’t care about the title over your shoulder and all you are using it for is bait to get a good fight, like bringing some hot looking chick in a bar left alone to draw in men to beat up. Maelstrom, I could forgive you for your obsession with the "Man Who Can Not Be Named," but I can't forgive you for this and for that, I must dedicate all my efforts to winning the title from you at Wired.
::throws book down::.
THAT TITLE IS WHAT EVERY HARD WORKING WRESTLER IN THIS COMPANY STRIVES FOR AND IT SHOULD MEAN MORE TO YOU THAN LIFE ITSELF! I’m sick of it and whether it is me or Anarky, we will get the job done and bring the title back to someone who deserves to wears it. I know you are a hell of a wrestler, and even more than that, a hell of a fighter which makes this match even more frustrating. If you were some slob who didn’t know better, it wouldn’t anger me as much but you have all the talent in the world Maelstrom and you crap on like some blonde bodybuilder type from California. Are you angry yet Maelstrom? I hope so because when we go one on one, I want to see a little fire in your belly, not only because you want to beat me up, but because that title means more than anything in the world. If the title doesn’t mean anything to you, I’ll make you a deal Maelstrom. You can fight Golden Hawk and Dakota Smith and I’ll take your title. All you have to do is lay down in the center of the ring and the deal is sealed. Two guys at once in an elimination match is a pretty good damn good fight and I can return honor to a title you’ve disgraced.
The choice is yours.
::Jonathan Marx picks up the book and walks away in disgust::
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-31-03 AT 00:08 AM (EST)](FADE IN:...... to the sounds of footfalls echoing down a corridor....
CUTTO:..... a GLCW backdrop where we continue to hear the approaching echoes of footfalls.... seconds later, Maelstrom appears, dragging in tow behind him the GLCW Heavyweight title...)
MAELSTROM: Ya know Marx, for once it's refreshin' to hear from someone with conviction of sorts.... even if their views are kinda off the hook. But we'll get further into that a little later, first I'd like to address a few of those off the hook views of yers. Now regardin' Manson, ya know, the guy you an' he DELUDE yerselves into believin' that everyone is obsessed with? Well, here's the 411 on the un-diluted version...... HE IS THE ONE OBSESSED WITH ME! Nearly every promo he cuts is laced with some sorta Pandorian innuendo or reference of yers truly. All ya gotta do is watch the taping of his "latest" mic spot for the six-man tag event, totally saturated with Pandorian innuendos. It's been that way ever since I arrived here in the GLCW. I suppose feelin' threatened does tend to have that kinda effect on ya. An' now, well I suppose he's just feelin' bitter 'bout bein' shown up for the poser that he is.
(shrugs his shoulder)
MAELSTROM: But I can understand yer not wantin' to discuss yer "god" in light of his ignominious defeat 'gainst me. So, unless you bring him up, or he himself chooses to continue injectin' verbal daggers my way in his spots, I'll agree not to mention "The Man Who Shall Not Be Named" again. (mocks a serious nod as he offers a peace sign)
Scouts promise. Oh wait, before I start refrainin'.... just one last comment in that area.... yer right, I'm NOT "The Man Who Shall Not Be Named".....
(feigns a look of relief)
MAELSTROM: Thank god for that... whoops! Did I say "god"? Let me rephrase that since it might confuse ya into thinkin' that I too worship "The Man Who Shall Not Be Named" as such. Let's just say that I appreciate the FACT that you agree that I'm not the same as he is..... after all, somethin' like that would be 10 times more damaging to my image and rep than YER "opinion" of how I discredit the GLCW title. Which of course brings up the next point..... yer views of where I'm lackin' as a champion. Pretty smooth the way that just flooooowed right into the next point eh?
MAELSTROM: Yeah, I thought so also, anyhow, ya seem to feel as if I should care more 'bout the title as if it were the most important thing in the world to me?
(raises a hand to his chin and feigns a pensive moment)
MAELSTROM: Well, I tell ya.... as ya can see, I REALLY gave it a lot of thought an' try as I may to see things YER way...... (narrows his eyes and shakes his head from side to side) .... well, it's just not happening! Ya see, Marx, unlike most people, yerself included by the way.... I GOTS TO BE TRUE TO MYSELF 'CUZ THAT'S WHATS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME! An' the truth of the matter is that I don't give a DAMN 'bout what anyone thinks 'bout me.... be it complimentary or derogatory.... it all means S(BLEEP)T to me! Ya see Marx, I'm not here to please fans or to please the front office..... I'm here to please only ONE person... an' that person is ME! Ya heard right. I may fit the mold of selfish, arrogant an' in some instances even egotistical..... but I'm also somethin' else that most aren't..... an' that's HONEST! Ya see, I tell it how it REALLY is regardless of who it may upset. I use this GLCW title just as I've used ALL the titles I've ever captured.... as nothin' more than a tool 'cuz that's all it means to me. Which is also the reason why I refuse to stoop to "questionable" means to capture or defend it like some people who "shall not be mentioned".
(pauses as he grins, then starts chuckling to himself)
MAELSTROM: 'sides, what makes ya think that I'm not a fit champion? Why? 'Cuz I don't treasure the title to the point where I'll adopt the "by any means possible" attitude to defend it? Or is it perhaps 'cuz I don't employ the artful tactic of precisely synchronized ...."interference" in my title defenses?
(raises a questioning eyebrow)
MAELSTROM: Well, if it's any of the above, then I suppose by YER criteria.... I'm NOT a fit champion. But all that is really irrelevant isn't it? I mean considerin' how much I ....
(pauses as he rolls his eyes and continues in a very sarcastic voice as he does the quote thingie to emphasize his next word....)
MAELSTROM: "VALUE" yer opinion.... or anyone elses for that matter. So if ya feel the need to "suddenly" possess an interest of chasin' the gold as yer priority now.... then by all means, bring it on Marx. An' if ya wanna bring the three stooges along, Narky, that hugely overrated babblin' idiot Minion an' "The Man Who Shall Not Be Named".... then by all means, by my guest. It won't be the first time my opponent made false promises in that respect. Hell, Morgan tried it durin' his shot with two of yer three stooges an' failed MISERABLY! Succumbing to the Mortal Sin, just like yer god, "The Man Who Shall Remain Nameless" did.
(pauses to give a knowing nod before he continues)
MAELSTROM: Okay, now that I've finished tearin' holes into the fabric of yer theories..... on to the issue at hand.... YER MATCH 'GAINST ME! Now Marx, if ya REALLY want this title, yer gonna have to test yer limits like NEVER before 'cuz I won't be takin' ya up on yer asinine deal. Yeah, the title may not mean as much to me as say..... YOU, but it does serve MY intended purpose..... an' that's to lure guys like YOU to me. Eventually, I'm sure Dakota an' Golden Hawk will be lured as well, but for now, I suggest ya attempt capturin' this title in a manner befittin' YER CLAIM TO FAME....
MAELSTROM: "OLD SCHOOL" WAY BABY! Let's see ya practice what ya preach an' EARN this strap as ya say.... without interference in a fair fight! (shakes his head disparagingly as he bursts out laughing)Ya know, I didn't realize just how ridiculous that sounded until I heard it comin' outta my own mouth! Almost as funny as the FACT that yer own "god", "The Man That Shall Be Nameless", has just disrespected ya! Why else would he claim to be taggin' with the "next GLCW Champion", 'Narky, DURING yer title shot 'gainst me? Could it possibly be that Narky's lips are more soothin' to yer god's rear than yer own? (grins) Seriously though, ya say the choice is mine? Well, hows 'bout this for a choice Marx.....
(narrows his eyes as he glares stoically into the cameras)
MAELSTROM: ..... come get some, "OLD SCHOOL" way.... if ya dare....
(without sayin' another word, Maelstrom walks off the screen, dragging the GLCW strap in tow behind him, until all that's left is the GLCW backdrop and the sounds of his footfalls echoing down the corridor.... FADE OUT.....)
::Brandon Jacobs is sitting in front of a computer watching Maelstrom's promo in Marx's library while Marx is sitting on a couch reading War & Peace::
BRANDON JACOBS: ::sighs:: How much longer CAN THIS POSSIBLY GO ON?!
JONATHAN MARX: Patience my son, patience.
BRANDON JACOBS: He finally finished talking about Manson!
:uts a half read War & Peace on the table next to his sofa and gets up and stretches::
JONATHAN MARX: Thank God. Maelstrom his this terrible habit of saying he isn't obsessed and then going on these long winded diatribes about why he is not further proving my point.
BRANDON JACOBS: Imagine if he had lost the match. Poor brainsick old chap.
JONATHAN MARX: No use talking to him about that subject. He is like an alcoholic in denial. He'll wake up one day and realize what he is but that won't happen him until I restore honor to the the title. Jacobs, I keep on hoping that one day, one of these James Dean types would simply conceed and save the need for any unneccesary violence.
BRANDON JACOBS: Pride is one of the deadliest of sins.
JONATHAN MARX: He needs to look within himself and become a leader of men instead of some overgrown man-boy with hostility issues.
BRANDON JACOBS: Much too anger.
JONATHAN MARX: I was thinking last night about realizing my dream of winning the title and how much it would do to further the old school revolution. But the best part of beating Mael would be, if I won the title, I wouldn't have to give Maelstrom a rematch for the belt since the belt isn't important to him.
BRANDON JACOBS: Don't you think it is some tough guy cover to protect himself when he eventually does lose the title to either you or Anarky?
JONATHAN MARX: I don't know, but I'm waiting for the day when Maelstrom has to admit that he respects that title before I grant him a title shot. I want to purify the title and only people who WANT and HONOR the GLCW Heavyweight Title will challenge for it as long as I have a say.
BRANDON JACOBS: So no pimping out the title for free coffee at Starbucks?
JONATHAN MARX: No, not even for a double caffe latte. But my purpose at Wired is even bigger than winning the title, I'm going to start the second Golden Age by beating Maelstrom in the center of the ring once I lock him in the Marxism and I'm going to hold it in tight until I hear Maelstrom scream for mercy. By the time I'm done with Maelstrom, he'll be begging for the opportunity to face Anarky at the PPV. But If Mael decides to cheat to retain the title in an act of desperation, I'm going to make sure that I've done enough damage to him that Anarky will be able to finish the job that I started at the PPV. But do you know what Brandon?
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-05-03 AT 00:00 AM (EST)](FADE IN:.... to the sounds of snoring.... LOUD snoring that's intermingled with the sounds of intermittent waves crashing upon the surf....
CUTTO:.... an obscure beach, almost totally deserted, save for a few beach comers coming and going as well as one lone figure laying on a fold out lounge chair tanning himself. The sound of sand crunching beneath the cameraman's feet is heard as he approaches the man sunning himself. As he gets closer, we once again begin to hear the sounds of snoring, obviously coming from the man in the fold out lounge chair. Our view suddenly goes white as a blinding gold reflection shoots our way. The camera's image jerks around clumsily as it tries to escape the incredibly bright light. As it jerks around, we catch a quick glimpse of sea with sailboats out in the distance, another quick glimpse of some beachcomber digging up something his metal detector apparently found and finally back to the man on the lounge chair, who's still snoring loudly. The cameras are still behind him so his identity still remains a mystery, that is until we stumble across the source of the blinding light.... the GLCW Heavyweight title which lays face up on the sand next to him. The sun glints once more off the face of the belt, but this time it only casts a small reflection to the side of our view. Before we can turn to face the man whose identity we've already assumed, he's already sitting up, glaring at us.....)
CAMERAMAN: (speaking a bit nervously) Ummmm, sorry to disturb you Mr. Maelstrom, but you DID instruct us to come and see you the moment that Jonathan Marx cut his last promo.
MAELSTROM: (glaring through narrowed eyes) That was about 3 days ago!
CAMERAMAN: (stammering a bit) Ummm, I know Mr. Maelstrom, however, we haven't heard from him until sometime yesterday and it took us all of today to locate you an-------
MAELSTROM: Alright! Alright! Whatever. Do ya have his promo tape on ya?
CAMERMAN: Yep, you can view it through the camera itself.
(inaudible grumbling is heard as Maelstrom gets up from the lounge chair and walks straight towards the camera, blocking out the entire screen with his growing image until he steps behind it and we momentarily see his empty lounge chair with the GLCW title laying next to it on the sand, seconds later, we begin to see Jonathan Marx's latest mic spot. More inaudible mumbling can be heard from behind the camera throughout Marx's mic spot until it finishes, then a heavy sigh is heard as we see Maelstrom appear from behind the camera and take a seat back on the lounge chair)
MAELSTROM: Ya gotta be kiddin' Marx! It took ya the better part of three days to come up with..... THAT?! (shakes his head disparagingly) And here I was, thinking how refreshing it was to hear from someone with.... conviction? Guess yer conviction is limited by yer lack of fresh ideas, eh Marx?
(suddenly, Maelstrom turns his head sideways, distracted apparently by some sort of beeping sound. As the camera follows his gaze, we see an old weather beaten, scrawny beachcomber with a metal detector, probably the same one we saw earlier, heading straight for Maelstrom. As he does so, the beeping sound gets louder and louder until he stops right in front of Maelstrom with the metal detector hovering right above the GLCW title)
BEACHCOMBER: YEAH! MY DREAMS FINALLY CAME TRUE! I HIT THE MOTHERLOAD! MY QUEST FOR GOLD IS OVER!
(he kneels down and picks up the GLCW title and begins to study it, that is until he locks eyes with Maelstrom, who's regarding him with narrowed eyes..... he nervously mouths the word "OOPS" and offers a sheepish grin....)
BEACHCOMBER: Uhhh, I'm very sorry about that young fella, but ya know what they say.... finders keepers, hehehehe.
(Maelstrom then stands up from the chair and glares down at the beachcomber who gulps noticeably as he takes in Maelstrom's sheer size and menacing glare. The beachcomber, suddenly realizing who Maelstrom is, laughs nervously as he begins to speak.....)
BEACHCOMBER: Hey! I know you! You're that Maelstrumph fella!
(from behind the camera, we can hear the cameraman yell out.... "that's Maelstrom, not Maelstrumph"....)
BEACHCOMBER: That's what I said..... Maelstrumph! Hey, are we live on T.V.?! Wow! I've never been on T.V. before. (begins offering us a toothless smile off of his tanned, weather-beaten face before he turns back to Maelstrom) Anyways, you're lucky I likes to watch me that GEE-EL-SEE-DUBYA rasslin! Besides, this here gold isn't the types of gold you find.... this here's the type of gold you earn! Besides, it's too big around my waist.... (wraps it around his waist and it immediately falls to his sandaled feet) And that's the ONLY reason why I won't takes it from you!
(Maelstrom just glares at the beachcomber without reacting, save for the menacing glare of his narrowing eyes which narrow just a bit more along with a slight flare of his nostrils. The beachcomber apparently picking up that he has overstayed his welcome places the belt back down on the sand, brushes the sand off of it and flexes his scrawny body defiantly and snarls with his toothless mouth in the direction of Maelstrom before turning his metal detector back on and continuing on his way. Maelstrom just glares at him as he walks away, then shakes his head and chuckles to himself before he resumes speaking.....)
MAELSTROM: It takes all kinds, but ya gotta appreciate the old guy.... he shows a lotta heart, even if it is feigned..... sorta like YOU Marx! I'm beginning to wonder if ya really believe in the crap yer manure-facturin', or maybe yer just simply attemptin' to save some face. But it's all good, ya can go on an' on, ramblin' 'bout the same ol' nothin's. It's not like you'll be the first afterall. True to form yer god "The Man Who Shall Remain Nameless" has once again saturated yet another of his mic spots with Pandorian innuendoes. As he's been apt to do, he continually whines 'bout not receiving a re-match, yet conveniently forgets he was granted one in the 4-way title match. Much like he takes every opportunity to yammer an' brag 'bout pinning me, yet conveniently leaves out the FACT that he did so in a TAG-TEAM match with the use of BRASS KNUCKLES! Yet, in YER eyes, I'm the one obsessed with him, the one in denial, the one who may cheat, huh?! (chuckles) Ya need to stop using yer head as a suppository for yer god Marx, it's really clouding yer perception of things, not to mention yer god's perception as well. While yer concern 'bout my so-called denial is touchin' (rolls his eyes sarcastically while spitting to the side) unlike the "The Man Who Shall Remain Nameless", I wouldn't worry 'bout not gettin' a re-match if ya win the title.....
(begins grinning facetiously)
MAELSTROM: Ya see, until you do what NO ONE here has yet to do, what people MORE talented than you couldn't do..... yer quest for the title will remain, as you yerself said.... A DREAM! (narrows his eyes) If yer not careful Marx, that dream just may turn into yer own personal nightmare........
(Without saying another word, Maelstrom lays back down on the lounge chair and begins to take in the sun once again. Moments later we hear his snores being drowned out by the sounds of the crashing surf, then by the beeping sounds of a nearby metal detector, just as we...... FADE OUT....)
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-06-03 AT 04:37 PM (EST)]::Jonathan Marx & Brandon Jacobs are at the grocery store shopping for food for the upcoming rally::
BRANDON JACOBS: How many bags of Tostitos do you think we need?
JONATHAN MARX: Six or seven, the rally is going to be huge. I have the new t-shirts all printed up and ready to go. This should be a rally to end all rallies.
:uts the bags of Tostitos in the cart and continues walking to Marx towards the soda aisle::
BRANDON JACOBS: You always throw one hell of a party.
JONATHAN MARX: That I do, but I only want the best for all of the fans of the old school revolution. They deserve this as much as I do and I hope that I can live up to their expectations at Wired. That is why I’ve been training every day in the gym for the last two and a half weeks. This rally is my only break before the big show.
::they stop in the soda aisle and Jacobs picks up diet soda, bottles of Snapple, and Poland Spring Water and continues walking::
BRANDON JACOBS: Mael is lazy, I can’t believe he is lying on a beach somewhere instead of training for his match.
JONATHAN MARX: Let fools be fools. It will bite him in the tail eventually. We’ve already established that he doesn’t respect the title around his waist. I’m more disgusted by the fact that Mael is a fraud.
BRANDON JACOBS: Fraud?
JONATHAN MARX: Mael has been claiming forever that the title is nothing more than a means of getting better fights, but yet he brought the title with him to some obscure beach.
BRANDON JACOBS: Now that really is a bit strange. Maybe he wanted to pick a fight with a dolphin?
JONATHAN MARX: He better not, the dolphin would probably kick his butt.
BRANDON JACOBS: Maybe you put the fear of Marx in him and he realizes he only has so much time left with it.
JONATHAN MARX: That could be, I bet that Maelstrom is even sleeping with it now.
::Brandon Jacobs looks at the feminine hygiene products as they walk by::
BRANDON JACOBS: Do you think we should pick up something for Maelstrom while we are here?
JONATHAN MARX: He is going to need something to clean the sand out of his v….
BRANDON JACOBS: LOOK! There is a lady up ahead giving away cereal samples.
JONATHAN MARX: What is so special about cereal… OHHH MAN, it is the NEW MANSON cereal!
::they speed up and Jacobs grabs a cup full::
BRANDON JACOBS: Maelstrom doesn’t have his own cereal, does he?
OLD LADY: Maelstrom who? Do you want some sir?
JONATHAN MARX: No thanks, I’m in training for my match and besides I don’t eat any cereal except oatmeal. I hate sugar.
BRANDON JACOBS: Why do you hate sugar?
JONATHAN MARX: Once you get a taste of sugar, you want more and more of it, until you are obsessed with everything sweet. Actually, it is pretty fitting that Manson would have his own sugar coated cereal.
BRANDON JACOBS: Indeed it is and it really is tasty. I’ll pick up a box so you can taste some after your match.
JONATHAN MARX: Okay, okay.
::Brandon puts three or four boxes into the cart::
BRANDON JACOBS: We could take a couple of boxes and make a trail mix for the rally.
::swipes another cup from the sample lady’s table and continues walking towards the ice cream and frozen food aisle::
::Marx shakes his head::
JONATHAN MARX: You were only SUPPOSED to take one.
BRANDON JACOBS: The faster they finish those samples, the sooner they can go home so in actuality I’m helping the old girl out. Besides, this cereal is damn good. It is like sugar covered crack. It tastes like it was created by the Gods. The flavor is simply out of this world.
::they walk by the Jean Rabesque “Simply the Best” shirt hanging on the clearance rack::
JONATHAN MARX: I know an even better taste.
BRANDON JACOBS: Really? What is that?
JONATHAN MARX: The taste of victory, whether it dawn of Marxism or a reign of Anarky, it will be much sweeter and will last so much longer. When Maelstrom finally loses that belt and the people have someone who they can respect as champion, I’m going to savoir that moment. Nothing will be able to compare to that moment.
BRANDON JACOBS: Better than sex?
JONATHAN MARX: The feeling will be so great that you can't even imagine it. It will be like Manson cereal to the hundredth power.
BRANDON JACOBS: ::crashes with cart into Dole pineapples display::
(FADE IN:...... to a black screen with the words "it's all about moments".....
CUTTO:.....Maelstrom sitting on a stool glaring at us, he smiles faintly just before he begins to speak.....)
MAELSTROM: Funny how a person can be a virtual nobody throughout his entire career, then circumstances change an' for one solitary moment, he's on top of the world.... LITERALLY! Some call it "flash-in-the-pan", "fifteen minutes of fame".....but who knows, maybe it's simply a matter of timing. Hell, some people have a helluva a year but are still dwarfed by some other major controversy or event that erupts, demanding so much attention that there's virtually nothin' left for them. Me? I suppose I've fallen into just 'bout every conceivable category imaginable. To some I'm considered a legend, yet to others, I'm nothin' more than an overrated fraud. Some can't even make up their minds one way or the other. Take Marx for instance, at first he praises me for bein' a fightin' champion, one helluva a wrestler, now he insinuates I'm a fraud. What's happened in the interim to turn him into a switch-hitter? Is it insight or just simply, lack of ammunition?
(slow fade back to the black screen with the word "obsession"....
CUTTO:... Maelstrom, a profile view this time, as he picks up seemingly in mid sentence of an already ongoing comment.....)
MAELSTROM:..... blind eyes are turned. Marx claims I'm so obsessed with Manson when in reality the ONLY obsession here is displayed by Manson an' Marx! I mean, let's analyze this for a sec huh? Who is it that's nearly always interferring in my matches or sneak attacking me?
(CUTTO:.... clips of Michael Manson interferring in numerous Maelstrom matches....)
MAELSTROM: (raises an eyebrow) Well, lets just say it's the same person who not only goes around claiming to be Pandorian but is so obsessed with me that he hired his brother, Tempest, to portray HIS version of a Pandorian. An' Who is it that saturates nearly all of his mic spots with Pandorian innuendos? MANSON! Hell, Marx, the ONLY person I can see bein' obsessed with Manson, besides himself... IS YOU! Yer the one who claims he's a GOD.... yer the one always shamelessly fawning over him like a little school girl with a crush! YER the one who seems to feel the NEED to promote or mention Manson in YER spots! Sure, there definitely is obsession lingerin' abouts..... only its comin' from the two of you!
(fade once more to a black screen and the word, "Perception"....
CUTTO:.... Maelstrom once again, this time viewed from a 3/4 perspective....)
MAELSTROM: They say that image is everything.... but what if the image is distorted? Or what if its a mirage? 'Sides, what is image if not only an opinion of sorts? I mean, some people, like YOU Marx, view Manson as a.... a GOD! But me? Well, lets just say that I saw it as no great accomplishment when I humbled yer GOD's a$$. An' if ya wanna go one further, just take a gander at the recent rankings posted in FWI. Mr. Overall #1 is NOT yer "god" Marx, or 'Narky or even you.... it's the one YOU refer to as a fraud! (grins) Does it mean it should be viewed as the truth? Hardly, it's merely one of many perceptions out there.... it simply means that YER views, as well as Manson's apparently are NOT as divine as you think or make 'em out to be......
(fade out and back in to the word, "Exposure"....
CUTTO:..... a frontal view of Maelstrom sitting, this time with the GLCW strap on his lap....)
MAELSTROM: ..... Ya ask why if I don't care for the title, why do I carry it 'round seemingly every where? (looks off to the side feigning pensive thinking) Well, seems like a fair 'nuff question an' the answer is..... 'cuz I like taunting guys like YOU Marx, who are SO materialistic..... SO typically reticent! Ya claim that yer gonna bring honor back to the title, but here ya are worshippin' one of the BIGGEST rule breakers out there! Worshippin' someone who'd do an' broke whatever rule just to hang on to his title! Now WHO's the fraud eh Marx? Without realizin' it, you've exposed just how full of $HIT ya are! Ya see Marx, exposure is like the flip side of image.... an' ya know what happens when ya expose yer negatives eh Marx? (shakes his head disparagingly) Ya ruin the image! (glares as he nods knowingly) As I said earlier Marx, it's all 'bout moments, an' yers is becomin' overexposed.....
::Jonathan Marx and Brandon Jacobs pull up Silver Cross Field in a big Cadillac where numerous fans are already gathered. They exit their car to a large ovation from the crowd already in attendance::
JONATHAN MARX: Thank you everyone, I'm glad to see so many people showed up early.
::through the crowd of people, Joliet Jackhammers manager Matt Nokes emerges::
MATT NOKES: JONATHAN! It is a pleasure to have you here.
JONATHAN MARX: Matt, I'd like to thank you for letting me use the outside of one of the best minor league baseball fields in America for my rally today. I follow baseball quite closely, I think you have a hell of a club. Don't let your 8-14 start get you down. I know you'll turn things around.
MATT NOKES: Thanks, it really means a lot coming from you.
BRANDON JACOBS: ::extends hand to Matt Nokes:: It is such an honor to meet you. I remember as a young fan watching you play for the Yankees when you hit 24 dingers out. You and Tony Pena were two of my favorite catchers of all-time.
MATT NOKES: Back in 1991, I had my swing, but all good things must come to an end.
JONATHAN MARX: Where should we set up?
MATT NOKES: We've got a stage for you right outside of the gate and the ground crew have set up your tables.
BRANDON JACOBS: This man is a king!
FAN #1: Can we help unload the car?
JONATHAN MARX: I thank you.
::a group of fans carry several heavy boxes over to the tables::
MATT NOKES: So, what do your chances look like against Maelstrom?
JONATHAN MARX: I'm not going to kid you, it is going to be really tough to beat Maelstrom, he is a fighting champion. But he doesn't have the conviction that I do about my beliefs and sometimes, heart and desire can overcome the odds.
MATT NOKES: Amen. Well, you know whose side I am on. Pete Rose Jr. is rooting for Maelstrom.
BRANDON JACOBS: Figures.
JONATHAN MARX: Pete Rose reminds me of Maelstrom. Both of them were great at what they did, but they didn’t full respect the sports in which they competed and made ethical mistakes which tarnished their legacy. The difference between Pete Rose and Maelstrom is that Pete Rose realizes what he did was wrong and wants forgiveness but Maelstrom can’t see that, at least not yet.
MATT NOKES: That is a hell of comparison.
BRANDON JACOBS: Some people don’t want to be saved, or they hope that forgiveness will come after they have retired.
JONATHAN MARX: Maelstrom doesn’t have to suffer like Pete did though. It really makes me kind of sad…. But I know a way to change that. ::Marx walks over to the boxes and starts shaking the hands of people who helped to carry things over. He grabs the box labeled t-shirts and begins to open them up::
JONATHAN MARX: Gather around everyone, you are all going to be the first ones to get the new specially designed t-shirt for the Maelstrom-Marx match.
::Marx pulls out a t-shirt which says “Anarky Won’t Be Necessary” which has a picture of Maelstrom in the Ghostbuster logo replacing the ghost::
MATT NOKES: Whoa! That is an awesome t-shirt.
JONATHAN MARX: Let me honor you by making you the very first recipient of this t-shirt. ::hands t-shirt to Matt Nokes who promptly puts it on:: GATHER AROUND EVERYONE! Since this doesn’t officially start until 8PM and it is only 7PM, this is a hell of gathering here, looks like we have a good one hundred people at least. I want all of you, the die hard of the diehards, to be the very first to get the free t-shirt which Matt Nokes is so proudly wearing on his chest!
::Marxism chant erupts from the crowd::
JONATHAN MARX: All of you people make me very proud to be a wrestler, and I hope that I can live up to the faith that you have in me. I may be young and Maelstrom may be a legend, but unlike Maelstrom, I bleed old school wrestling. The GLCW is my home and I’m proud to be in a league which would give a man like myself, who has the “radical” belief that the great wrestling which happened back in the 1980s in front of crowds who lived and died for the wrestlers that they hold dear could still exist today. There are those like Maelstrom who think they are too cool to care about the title. They disrespect all of the hard work of everyone in this company. I ask you today, should we let people like Maelstrom win?
JONATHAN MARX: Then I must fight and I will do so will every fiber of my being, I warn you in advance that there may be some blood shed because I’m going to fight until I am unable to fight any longer and I’M GOING TO TAKE BACK WRESTLING FOR THE PEOPLE! THIS IS YOUR SPORT AND I’M GOING TO HELP YOU SAVE IT!
::crowd erupts into a Marxism chant::
JONATHAN MARX: I know that the odds are against me, but I’m loving every minute of it. WE ARE GOING TO SHOCK THE WORLD RIGHT HERE IN JOLIET, ILLINOIS! A lot of people think that I was just put in this match to soften Maelstrom up for his match against Anarky… but I’m going to do the impossible. I’M GOING TO WIN THE TITLE, OR DIE TRYING! ANARKY WON’T BE NECESSARY!
::crowd chants “NEW CHAMP!” at Marx::
JONATHAN MARX: I love all of you more than you will ever know, I hope to see all of you at the show with your signs and love for old school wrestling. Now, before the masses arrive, let’s get this party setup so we can welcome in the age of Marxism with a bang!
:eople take t-shirts and start unloading boxes, while Brandon Jacobs and Matt Nokes set up the sound equipment and speakers for an all out party, Marx looks at all the people tediously working and then gazes up in deep thought at the moon::
(FADE IN:..... To a stream of dual white lights in the distance. They seem to suddenly emerge from a virtual wall of fog, obscured slightly by the light rain, randomly moving forward and from side to side. Alongside those white lights are pairs of red lights, also steadily moving but these however are disappearing into the same fog wall. Its lights however flicker intermittently with their brightness as they move in the opposite direction of the white lights..... away from us. The cameras then pan back some, adding a more surreal effect to it before the view changes and we see a GLCW utility van, its doors are wide open with recording equipment scattered all about. We follow all the cords and such to underneath a highway overpass where we see a Harley V-Rod, the GLCW Heavyweight Title looped carelessly around the neck of the handlebars.... and not far from that, warming himself in front of a trash can fire, is the unmistakable figure of the man the entire wrestling world has come to know, simply as.....)
MAELSTROM: Must be nice Marx, to have yer own rally with people seemingly excited to be there..... all to see you of course. Are ya sure ya can afford to pay off all those fans of yers? (smiles) I've never really been one for that sorta thing myself though..... (shrugs his shoulders) Love me, despise me…… doesn't matter to me one way or another. I likes to keep it real ya see. An' that seems to be the most consistent point of attack for y'all. Ya can't possibly attack my accomplishments 'cuz there really isn't any ammunition there..... you'd be shootin' blanks. So instead, the majority choose to attack less significant, more petty things such as my grammar, my heritage or my indifference to materialistic things that YOU supposedly hold so dear. An' I've been askin' myself..... (gives a mocking smile) SELF? Why would someone like Marx give a damn one way or another 'bout my indifference to the title? An' try as I may, invariably, it all leads to the same conclusion..... To feed yer own insecurities!
(pauses as his shoulders noticeably shiver momentarily while a cool breeze passes)
MAELSTROM: I mean lets face it Marx, ya gotta feed 'em something 'cuz if ya let 'em fester inside you'll end up over-exposin' yerself..... yet again! Ya need to stop frontin' Marx an' get REAL with yerself. Yer usin' this "Old School" diatribe crap like I use this here GLCW strap.... as a tool for yer own means! An' there's absolutely nothin' wrong with that mind ya, the difference bein' though is that unlike you, I've been upfront 'bout it from DAY ONE! I don't speak on what others WANT to hear for one simple reason….. I DON'T CARE 'BOUT WHAT ANYONE THINKS! I enforce my will as I please an' not only dare anyone to do somethin' 'bout it..... but welcome it! Ya see Marx, I'm NOT "old school" an' I'm NOT "new school"..... I JUST AM! I don't follow the......
(does the quote sign thingie)
MAELSTROM: ...."trends" that have become so prevalent lately.... an' I don't bother with clever "catch-phrases" or silly "marketing strategies" either. I take the road less traveled..... the road that most are either unaware of or unwilling to traverse..... just like that fog wall down in that highway, there are impasses out there leadin' to nowhere, just waitin' to be breached..... an' I seek 'em all out regardless of the consequences 'cuz THAT Marx, is what matters to me! Not the fans, not the accolades, not the title..... just the impasse an' the challenge of breachin' it. But how could I expect someone like YOU to understand..... it's a concept that usually falls on deaf ears..... pushed to the side 'cuz it interferes with yer "performances" in front of the camera..... it makes yer facade all the more fragile.
(pauses as he extends his hands over the trash can fire to further warm himself as a noticeable chill suddenly racks his body)
MAELSTROM: Ya wanna speak on conviction Marx? (begins chuckling) I PROVE my conviction EVERY time I enter the squared circle..... every time I speak. Ya ever try drawin' strength from inside Marx? Hmmmm, I imagine not considerin' reserves on pretenders are almost always depleted. Ya see, none of what ya say matters! None of what I say matters either, at least to you it doesn't. It has absolutely nothin' to do with charades or promotin' some pre-conceived revolutionary concept either.....
(narrows his eyes and grins maliciously)
MAELSTROM: ....it all comes down to somethin' ya apparently are incapable of doin'..... simply bein' true to yerself.....
(A stoic glare is all that Maelstrom continues to offer as the camera pulls back to include the white and red lights of the traffic off to the side, emerging and disappearing into the same fog wall, much like we also do as we begin to.... FADE OUT....)
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-07-03 AT 01:11 PM (EST)]::Jonathan Marx and Brandon Jacobs are at the rally celebrating with the fans, which has by now drawn over 500 people strong::
JONATHAN MARX: I can’t believe some one is calling me contrived when he just used a fog machine to setup that last promo.
BRANDON JACOBS: Maybe he just controls the weather.
JONATHAN MARX: Next thing you know he’ll be standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean during a raging thunderstorm.
BRANDON JACOBS: He simply can’t comprehend the fact that someone like yourself really exists in today’s world.
JONATHAN MARX: How can he think anyone could even exist when he is a fraud himself? He trusts no one by nature because he can’t trust himself. He needs to accept the Good Book of Old School Wrestling into his life and join the old school revolution and maybe, he can learn to trust people again.
BRANDON JACOBS: So you think there is still hope for Maelstrom?
JONATHAN MARX: Anyone can be saved if they want to be saved. At one time I too was like Maelstrom, but I realized that despite as much money and education that I had, that there was still something missing. Success can very lonely and empty if you don't have a reason to fight. As Robert Frost's said..
"Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."
Maelstrom needs to overcome his materialism and give up his trips to the beach and fog machines, and put his life into perspective. But alas, Maelstrom has yet to realize the error of his ways so what can you do.
BRANDON JACOBS: As much as I would like to continue talking about Maelstrom, there is a little boy who would like to meet you Jonathan.
JONATHAN MARX: I’m always anxious to meet my young fans. Where is he?
::Brandon Jacobs leads Jonathan Marx to the crowd over to the little boy with his mother::
JONATHAN MARX: What is your name little boy?
LITTLE BOY: My name is Mikey.
JONATHAN MARX: Well Mikey, it is nice to meet you.
BRANDON JACOBS: Mikey has been battling cancer for a year or so and he made a special trip out today to say hello to you.
JONATHAN MARX: Mikey, you are a much braver man than I could ever hope to be. Looking death down in the face can’t be an easy battle. Keep on battling and I know you were over come it.
MIKEY: Thank you Mr. Marx, I really hope you beat Maelstrom. I’ve been following you all the way back since your days in the IWF. I really love watching you, my dad is always watching tapes from the 1980s and you remind me of a lot of the great wrestlers from the past. He rarely watches current stuff though because he says it makes him sad. Can I ask you a favor?
MIKEY MOM: I told you not to bother Mr. Marx!
JONATHAN MARX: Hold on, I’ll do my best to grant it. What is the favor?
MIKEY: I want you to beat Maelstrom… but it isn’t what you think it is, I want you to beat him for my dad. Whenever my dad came home from a stressful day at work, he use to turn on wrestling in order to forget about his day, but wrestling has become really, really bad and he never smiles anymore except when you are on the television. Can you beat Maelstrom for my dad?
JONATHAN MARX: ::all misty eyed:: You are a very noble boy. Here you are fighting cancer, and you are worried about your dad being sad. I’ll do my best.
MIKEY: Thank you Mr. Marx, it would mean a lot to me.
JONATHAN MARX: Brandon, make sure this boy and his father get good seats for the show and go get him some refreshments.
MIKEY: Gee, thanks Mr. Marx!
JONATHAN MARX: No problem, us Marxists need to take care of each other.
::MIKEY and Brandon Jacobs walk over to the refreshment table::
::Matt Nokes who had been listening in walks over to Jonathan, who wipes a tear from his eye, and puts his hand on his shoulder::
MATT NOKES: That is a good thing you just did for that kid.
JONATHAN MARX: Mikey gives me as much hope as I give to him. Sometimes I worry that all my life’s work will be fruitless and that the old revolution will never come to be, but when I meet kids like Mikey, it makes me believe that all hope is not lost for this new generation after all.
(FADE IN:....... to a monitor displaying the last few moments of Marx's mic spot. Then camera then pulls back to reveal Maelstrom watching, his huge arms folded across his massive chest, the GLCW title is as has become the norm on the floor by his feet. He has an amused smile on his face as he begins to clap in a very sarcastic manner.....)
MAELSTROM: Well done Marx. Well done indeed! Hell, ya nearly brought a tear to MY eye! (feigns wiping imaginary tears from his eyes) That was an especially touchin' scene with lil' Mikey, a bit pretentious, but then 'gain, I've learned to expect that from ya. Now, ya can quote from Frost all ya like, but don't try an' hand me that crap 'bout YOU takin' the road less traveled 'cuz yer only makin' yerself look that much more foolish. Yer not as accomplished an actor as lil' Mikey ya see.
MAELSTROM: Yer lil' masquerade is comin' full circle, just like another lil' masquerade from a different Mikey that I know. Yer reachin' so much that now you've stepped over the imaginary edge an' crossed into the fabrication zone.
MAELSTROM: But what the hey..... I suppose it's better bein' amused by yer fabrications than listenin' to yer redundant views over an' over. I imagine it could be quite tryin' when yer mind simply draws a blank an' ya look toward the moon an' blink.... waitin' for an answer that simply won't come.... could it be 'cuz yer simply not askin' the right questions? Or maybe ya just don't understand the answers an' if ya do, ya refuse to accept them. Face it Marx, ya blinked an' ya didn't even realize it, yer just goin' through the motions as ya wait on the unacceptable to happen.
MAELSTROM: Don't fret none though, Marxism will soon have all the answers it can handle an' then some...... reality has a new face Marx, an' it'll be glarin' at ya in Joliet, through MY eyes....
(Maelstrom nods faintly as he retrieves the GLCW title from the floor and leaves, dragging it in two behind him.... moments later, we hear a faint hint of malicious laughter as we ..... FADE OUT....)
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-08-03 AT 00:06 AM (EST)]::Jonathan Marx is alone outside of the stadium cleaning up after the party, he is walking around with a broom and picking up the liter left behind::
JONATHAN MARX: ::leaning on broom looking into the camera:: It seems ironic that I, a nobleman, keep on finding myself playing the role of janitor. Cleaning up the messes of others and trying to restore order back to the world. Sometimes I think it would be a lot better if I was just able to turn off my brain and be like Maelstrom rambling on in Ebonics without a care in the world. But I have a heavy burden on my shoulder’s, if I lose at Wired, I disappoint Manson, Anarky, Minion, Mikey, and all the fans who have followed me since day who have believed in the old school revolution.
Maelstrom, you are a monster devoid of all emotions so I don’t expect you to understand my plight. You use fists in order to fulfill your sick fantasies for violence. You use in the title belt to bait victim after victim and you just look at me like another Cannonball Kid, just another notch on your belt.
You can bust out your fog machine all you want and try to scare me like you did the others, but I am an accomplished wrestler. I was breed on amateur wrestling throughout high school and college and I studied pro wrestling by watching some of the greatest wrestlers of alltime compete before my very eyes. This is the business I was born to compete in and I will push myself beyond my limit to make sure that I take that title from around your waist. You can beat me up all you want but I’m just going to get back up for more until I wear you down. I won’t give up like the others did even if the crimson mask is running down my face and I’m barely able to see. I’ll continue to fight until I have the match won even if it takes every last bit of energy I have.
I have the heart of a champion. My desire isn’t just to beat someone up, if that was the case, I would have taken up boxing. I want to win the GLCW Heavyweight Title. The greatest prize in all of wrestling and once I win it, I will take it to heights never even dreamt of before with the power of the old school revolution behind me.
And let’s get something straight, I could care less if you don’t believe that I’m sincere about the old school revolution or not. Because no matter what I say, you will believe what you want to believe.… but I’ve backed up my words with action, while you have contradicted your own words repeatedly with your actions. That is the difference between me and you, even if you think I’m a fraud, I don’t repeated expose myself as one like you have time and time again.
Maelstrom, nobody has ever accused you of being a rocket scientist, but I’m not going to do what others have done and repeatedly shove it down your throat because underneath it all, you are a warrior like myself. Even if I don’t respect the human being, I respect you as the great competitor that you are and I’m looking forward to having the opportunity to wrestle you here Joliet, IL, the home of some of the best fans in the world.
I hope you are ready Maelstrom because this will be a battle for the ages, Marx vs. Maelstrom will be broadcast across the world to all the GLCW all over the planet and when all is said and done, everyone here and at home will witness a moment of GLCW history that will never be forgotten….
:icks up a can off the ground and shoots it into the garbage can::
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-08-03 AT 09:27 AM (EST)](FADE IN:…… On the same stadium where we just left Jonathan Marx cleaning up. In fact, if you look closely, you can still see a figure resembling Marx off in the distance sweeping. More up close and personal however, we see two figures sitting on a small bleacher-style stand. One of them is none other than our own Tony Ross and next to him, with the GLCW Title laying at his feet, is the man known simply as ………)
MAELSTROM: (peering out at the man sweeping in the distance) Ya know Ross, it never ceases to amaze me just how deep some people allow themselves to fall into denial.
TONY ROSS: Ironically, most of your opponents seem to infer the same about you.
MAELSTROM: Yeah, true enough. It seems to be the (does the quote thingie with his fingers) "IN THING" lately to attack my integrity….. 'suppose it's something I should get used to since it's a lot easier to attack something as nonexistent as my "denial" as opposed to confrontin' an' embracin' the reality that awaits them when we finally meet.
TONY ROSS: And what if it's YOU who ends up embracing THEIR type of reality?
MAELSTROM: (shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly) Then so be it. I've got no ego to bruise, if I get beat fair and square in the middle of the ring, I'll be the first one to go and shake my opponents hand.
TONY ROSS: And what if it isn't a fairly won match? What if interference or foreign objects play a part?
MAELSTROM: It'll still be all good Ross. I have no problem acceptin' the inevitable loss 'cuz NOONE is unbeatable, myself included. Some may seem unbeatable due to their extremely lopsided win/loss ratio….. (grins knowingly as he glares at the man sweeping in the distance, momentarily losing himself in thought as he does so) ….. but reality has a way humbling the greatest of the greats. If I were to lose by questionable means, hell, I'll accept it for what it's worth an' just move on 'cuz things do have a way of comin' full circle…..
TONY ROSS: You always seem to be of the frame of mind…. "prove to me it's as you say". Why is that?
MAELSTROM: Why not? I mean, I'm not gonna take people at their word unless they can back it up, an' even then at times ya still can't take 'em at their words 'cuz their claims are stretched to the absolute limit. An' it's comin' from both ends of the ring. Ya have guys claiming to be "The Best Damn Technical Wrestler In The World"….. guys actually claimin' to be "God"…….. then ya have the so-called revolutionaries who seek a following, promising to either save you or the sport with promises of bein' "Self-Actualized" or reinforcin' the state of wrestlin' as we know it by bringin' back "Old School" traditions. (shakes his head disparagingly) An' I've yet to see any of 'em back up or reinforce the validity of their claims.
TONY ROSS: Nearly every opponent you've ever faced here in the GLCW seem to question your intellect. Does that bother you at all?
MAELSTROM: Ross, it's like I said before…… whether ya shower me with compliments or scathe me with insults, it doesn't matter to me. The only thing that matters to me is that I have the strength of mind, the insight to not only accept success within the realm of true reality, but more importantly, not to rationalize my failures but look upon 'em as yet another impasse to be breached. Somethin' I might add, that most of the so-called "intellectuals" 'round here in the GLCW are incapable of doin'. So if they wanna perceive me as a lumberin' brainless, ignorant brute, well that's all on 'em, particularly the consequences that will inevitably follow.
TONY ROSS: Everyone lately has seemed to comment on, and myself included I must admit, the manner in which you treat the GLCW Heavyweight title. Is there any particular reason why you've chosen to seemingly disrespect it?
MAELSTROM: Ross, it's all a matter of perception. It's not so much that I'm disrespectin' the title as it is that I'm NOT publicly treasuring it the way most would themselves. Like I've stated many times before, the GLCW title, or ANY title for that matter is NOT my ultimate goal, rather it's a tool "I USE" to obtain what I want, to obtain what's important to me.
TONY ROSS: And that of course would be t------
MAELSTROM: To lure the toughest bastards I can to me….. to give 'em that extra edge, that extra hunger needed to hopefully take ME to MY limits.
TONY ROSS: Okay, one last question while we still have a bit of day-light left. What about the accusations about your being a fraud despite your overwhelming successes?
MAELSTROM: If bein' a fraud means NOT offerin' up a pretense for the cameras an' masses….. if it means bein' myself 'stead of bein' what the fans or management wants me to be…… then YES, I'll forever be a fraud, givin' new meanin' to it, 'cuz I refuse to compromise my integrity for anybody.
TONY ROSS: Well, there you have it, controversial views from the GLCW Heavyweight Champion, the man simply known as Maelstrom.
(Maelstrom nods knowingly as Tony Ross engages in conversation with him, but whether or not he's actually paying attention to Ross will never be known as he continues to glare at the man with the broom in the distance, sweeping up in an Old School fashion….. FADE OUT…..)
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-08-03 AT 11:56 AM (EST)]::Jonathan Marx is sitting down to tea at his Martha Vineyard estate with God in preparation for his match with Maelstrom at Wired. God has respective asked not to be shown or recorded on camera to reveal his true identity::
JONATHAN MARX: I’d like to thank you coming here today. It is an honor and privilege to talk to someone of your stature who I’ve respected for years and years.
GOD SPEAKS: ::muted::
JONATHAN MARX: I thank you for the kind words. Now I’ve brought you here because I have a few questions that I need answers too.
GOD SPEAKS: ::muted::
JONATHAN MARX: Maelstrom keeps on going on and on about how I insulted his intelligence and all I could find is the line where I said he talks in Ebonics. Why is he so insistent in pointing out that he stupid even when he opponent doesn’t say anything about it?
GOD SPEAKS: ::muted::
JONATHAN MARX: Pre-emptive strike? It seems silly for me to attack someone with a point which has been hammered home time and time again to the point where he mentions it even before his opponent does. Maelstrom, for whatever he lacks in intellect, makes up for in sheer brutality in the ring. The man is a monster.
GOD SPEAKS: ::muted::
JONATHAN MARX: Geryon?! The winged three headed giant which Hercules killed? Now that you mention it, Maelstrom does seem a bit like Geryon incarnate but not as pretty.
GOD SPEAKS: ::muted::
JONATHAN MARX: Sadly no, I won’t have use of a bow and arrow. Hercules was also half God unlike myself so even if I did, I don’t think it would help. How does Maelstrom get his eyes to glow like that? It looks like something out of Ghostbusters.
GOD SPEAKS: ::muted::
JONATHAN MARX: That really is a neat trick. I’ll give him credit for that. Sometimes I wish I was more gothic and used props like that to make myself look spooky for the kids. And yes, Bill Murray was funny in that movie. You need to put him and Harold Ramis together for another movie.
GOD SPEAKS: ::muted::
JONATHAN MARX: You are indeed a God among men. Now, the question we’ve all been waiting for, are you Manson?
GOD SPEAKS: ::muted::
JONATHAN MARX: Well I guess that is true, there is a bit of God in all of us since we were created in your image, some more than others. I don’t want to press the issue, but you really didn’t answer the question, are you Manson?
GOD SPEAKS: ::muted::
JONATHAN MARX: No comment? Okay, lets move on to the next question. I’ve been in the gym every day and I’ve been watching tapes of Maelstrom’s matches. How can I beat Maelstrom?
GOD SPEAKS: ::muted::
JONATHAN MARX: Romans 12:21? Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good? I was sort of hoping you could give me some of Maelstrom’s hidden weaknesses like SPECIFIC details.
JONATHAN MARX: Going all Harpo Marx on me are you?
GOD SPEAKS: ::muted::
JONATHAN MARX: No, no, I’m sorry. I should get snippy at you of all people. You have blessed me more than I could ever ask and the opportunity to take on Maelstrom one on one for the title. If you give me the answer, I wouldn’t feel as fulfilled as if I did it on my own….. Are you sure you don’t want to tell me?
GOD SPEAKS: ::muted::
JONATHAN MARX: Okay fine, now before we go, there is a question that I’ve always wanted to ask you, what is the meaning of life?
GOD SPEAKS: ::muted::
JONATHAN MARX: By george, Douglas Adams was right.
(FADE IN:….. a plain GLCW back drop where we see Maelstrom leaning on his Harley V-Rod, the GLCW title is of course, carelessly looped around the bike's handlebars…….)
MAELSTROM: Pretty typical of ya Marx, not only to distort my commentary to fit yer convenient needs but now to outright fabricate? (shakes his head in a disparaging manner) Well now, seems as if yer true concern is leaking out the cracks of yer facade in the form of lies and cynicism. No matter though, as I said before, I expect no less from ya, or anyone else for that matter. At least unlike the "the man who shall remain nameless", yer antics are a source of amusement rather than boredom.
(begins to yawn)
MAELSTROM: But even yer kind of amusement can get stale…… comprende? I mean, yer kinda getting on the "predictable" track now. It makes sense that it would only be a matter of time that you'd pull this "talkin' to God" stunt…… so very pretentious Marx. The only problem is, it didn't seem to help ya now did it? I mean ya still don't have the answers ya need, not so much cuz he didn't answer ya, but more 'cuz yer lookin' in the wrong place. Me? Hell, I've never had much use for prayer…… call it sin, call it blashephemy….. I really don't give a S(BLEEP)T what ya call it….. deaf ears are useless to me ya see. But hey, if it works for ya, by all means…….
(pauses as he raises a leg over the bike and sits on it)
MAELSTROM: (begins smiling) The irony of it all is that a lot of those who "supposedly" engage in prayer tend to be amongst the biggest sinners 'round..... more so usually than those who don't bother with him. Maybe its 'cuz they feel the need to cleanse themselves.... or maybe they're just continuing with their present day, ongoing facade. Whatever the case, my conscience is clean an' I bear no regrets. It's pretty sad though that with all yer supposed intellect, ya fail to see beyond yer own front..... there's a reason why "God" selectively answered yer questions.... well, maybe there isn't, I just thought I'd throw that in just for the "Hell" of it....
(smirks as he begins to rev the V-Rod)
MAELSTROM: Whoops! Poor choice of words eh? (winks) Anyhow, Marx just so you'll know..... rhetorical answers are born outta introspection....
(A few revs resonate loudly as Maelstrom begins to pull away from our view, and we in turn, simply ...... FADE OUT.....)
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