TBirdSCIL
League Member
Please keep all RP for this match in this folder...
M.W. Grossard vs. Jared Justice
- Thread starter TBirdSCIL
- Start date
NotorisSTD
League Member
reality television...
BOSTWICK B. MAXIMIZED V/O: The following contains selected highlights from this weeks episode of the Real World: Denver…
(CUTTO: A built up blonde guy in jeans and a grey sweat shirt that says “College” throwing a football and smiling. White lettering in the corner of the screen reads “MIKE”…)
MIKE V/O: This is the true story…
(CUTTO: A foxy blonde broad in all Old Navy sipping a soda, also smiling)
JEN V/O: of Seven strangers…
(CUTTO: M.W. Grossard, frolicking in an evening gown…equally happy looking.)
MWG V/O: picked to live in a house…
(CUTTO: masked girl in Ninja garb sitting on front steps…)
SUZANNE V/O: and have our lives exploited
(CUTTO: A guy with no legs eating an egg, ham, and cheese sandwich)
V/O: to find out what happens
(CUTTO: Angry black guy stereotype…)
BOBBY V/O: when people stop being polite..
(CUTTO: Kinda scary Skinhead chick in a Screwdriver T-shirt handing out white power literature in front of a record store…)
ABIGAIL V/O: and start being watched…
(all seven embracing and grinning)
ALL SEVEN V/O: THE REAL WORLD…DENVER!!!
(Ernie in the confessional room…)
ERNIE: Hi my name’s Ernie, I’m from Suburbia Flordia, and my legs fell off last year.
(CUTTO: Ernie meeting Mike and Jen in front of their big ass po mo art decorated house…)
ERNIE: Hi, I’m Ernie. (offers his hand)
MIKE: HOLLY SH(bleep) DOOD!! What happened to your legs?!?!?!
JEN: Are they like…folded up behind your back or something?
(Ernie in the confessional again…)
ERNIE: Sometimes I think people look at me and think…”Hey, check it out. That guy doesn’t have any legs…”
(CUTTO: Ernie meeting Abigail in the sexy room..)
ERNIE: Hi. I’m Ernie. (extends his hand…)
ABBY: Why don’t you slit your wrists in the bath tub? I can’t look at you and believe there’s a god!!!!
(confessional room again…)
ERNIE: Sometimes I just wish that…y’know. My legs hadn’t fallen off. That way I could walk, and dance around, ‘n all that…
(CUTTO: Ernie meeting M.W….)
ERNIE: Hi. I’m Ernie.
M.W.: Hiya…(awkward pause) So….Wanna smoke banana peals and watch cartoons?
ERNIE: Sure.
(Mike in the confessional…)
MIKE: I donno ‘bout that guy M.W. He’s all like (goofy voice) “eeeeeh, my name’s M.W.” And then he dances around…
(CUTTO: MWG dancing around while Jen sits in a chair on the other side of the room…M.W. notices and screams in despair…)
(CUTTO: MWG in the confessional, black Squee T-shirt cut off at the stomach, smoking a cigarette, looking somewhere between amused and detached…)
“the American Idol” M.W. Grossard: -I guess I overreacted a little. But, I mean…like, they wouldn’t call it a five minute “rule,” if it wasn’t a “rule.” You’re sposda receive consequences for breaking rules, right? And that was a really cozy chair…(sighs) Well, I’ve got a match with Jarred Justice on TV next week. I guess I feel pretty good about that. He’s not like, y’know, one of those guys that I’ll impress people by beating or anything…Throughout his whole career he’s had to be carried by somebody. The dozens of tag partners he's had, The bah-gillions of stables he’s been part of, Promoters he succeeded in…(clears his throat) “sucking” up to…Ohmigod, that had a TRIPLE meaning. As in, the usual meaning of the phrase; that he's a brown noser, what saying “he sucks,” refers to in the parlance of our times, AND that he prolly blows doods for stuff all the time…Anyway, my point was other people have been the only thing that gave his bland little identity any real sense of purpose. Left to his own devices, he’ll always be mediocre. Another half sincere freak, Lost in the shuffle. Barely visible…Soeyeguess, What has me super psyched for this match, isn’t so much a professional or career furthering factor. It’s mostly that, ah…(chuckles) hmmmm...Fire gets me excited…
(trances out and puts his cigarette out on the soft side of his forearm…) mmmm……hee hee…(voice slips into a dreamy tone…) And like, duh, I didn’t used to be mediocre and maybe after a while I wont be anymore, and my whole career it’s basically been me versus everybody else…So I guess that makes me better than Jarred Justice, but if he manages to watch this, I want him to know that’s not what’s important to me…And I’m not gonna bother telling him about how badly I’m going to hurt him. OF COURSE I’M GONNA HURT HIM a whole bunch but he’s like totally ceeerazy and will prolly giddily laugh and spray his pants while I peal off his skin to make a costume so I can be Jarred Justice for Halloween this year……What’s important to me Jarred, if you’re watching, is that you give this one 200%. The match itself is like…blah, y’know? What I think is indispensably important is ah…how the prospect of humping your hollow eye socket while you’re trying to incinerate me is getting me soooooo hot…And I will NOT let a shabby performance slide. If you fall all to pieces after 10 minutes, and I’m anything less than satisfied, I’m going to break stuff against the back of your head until I’ve gotten mine…The rapture of dancing while an inferno snaps and crackles up everything around, while you scream and cry and ask “Why me?!”…Oh, gaawd. (groans and slides a hand down his pants..) Giving me an erection will probably be the only thing of value or substance you’ll ever accomplish. So don’t pussy out…mmmm…Yeeeeah. C’mon baby… light my fire…
(CUTTO: Jen in the confessional…)
JEN: So I come back from the liquor store, and that guy who wears dresses was giving that guy with no legs a b(bleep)ob while the legless guy fingered his a(bleep)le right on my bed…At first I was very upset, but I guess that’s just his way of showing me that he really takes the five minute rule seriously, and I guess I should learn to respect that in the future…
BOSTWICK B. MAXIMIZED V/O: The following contains selected highlights from this weeks episode of the Real World: Denver…
(CUTTO: A built up blonde guy in jeans and a grey sweat shirt that says “College” throwing a football and smiling. White lettering in the corner of the screen reads “MIKE”…)
MIKE V/O: This is the true story…
(CUTTO: A foxy blonde broad in all Old Navy sipping a soda, also smiling)
JEN V/O: of Seven strangers…
(CUTTO: M.W. Grossard, frolicking in an evening gown…equally happy looking.)
MWG V/O: picked to live in a house…
(CUTTO: masked girl in Ninja garb sitting on front steps…)
SUZANNE V/O: and have our lives exploited
(CUTTO: A guy with no legs eating an egg, ham, and cheese sandwich)
V/O: to find out what happens
(CUTTO: Angry black guy stereotype…)
BOBBY V/O: when people stop being polite..
(CUTTO: Kinda scary Skinhead chick in a Screwdriver T-shirt handing out white power literature in front of a record store…)
ABIGAIL V/O: and start being watched…
(all seven embracing and grinning)
ALL SEVEN V/O: THE REAL WORLD…DENVER!!!
(Ernie in the confessional room…)
ERNIE: Hi my name’s Ernie, I’m from Suburbia Flordia, and my legs fell off last year.
(CUTTO: Ernie meeting Mike and Jen in front of their big ass po mo art decorated house…)
ERNIE: Hi, I’m Ernie. (offers his hand)
MIKE: HOLLY SH(bleep) DOOD!! What happened to your legs?!?!?!
JEN: Are they like…folded up behind your back or something?
(Ernie in the confessional again…)
ERNIE: Sometimes I think people look at me and think…”Hey, check it out. That guy doesn’t have any legs…”
(CUTTO: Ernie meeting Abigail in the sexy room..)
ERNIE: Hi. I’m Ernie. (extends his hand…)
ABBY: Why don’t you slit your wrists in the bath tub? I can’t look at you and believe there’s a god!!!!
(confessional room again…)
ERNIE: Sometimes I just wish that…y’know. My legs hadn’t fallen off. That way I could walk, and dance around, ‘n all that…
(CUTTO: Ernie meeting M.W….)
ERNIE: Hi. I’m Ernie.
M.W.: Hiya…(awkward pause) So….Wanna smoke banana peals and watch cartoons?
ERNIE: Sure.
(Mike in the confessional…)
MIKE: I donno ‘bout that guy M.W. He’s all like (goofy voice) “eeeeeh, my name’s M.W.” And then he dances around…
(CUTTO: MWG dancing around while Jen sits in a chair on the other side of the room…M.W. notices and screams in despair…)
(CUTTO: MWG in the confessional, black Squee T-shirt cut off at the stomach, smoking a cigarette, looking somewhere between amused and detached…)
“the American Idol” M.W. Grossard: -I guess I overreacted a little. But, I mean…like, they wouldn’t call it a five minute “rule,” if it wasn’t a “rule.” You’re sposda receive consequences for breaking rules, right? And that was a really cozy chair…(sighs) Well, I’ve got a match with Jarred Justice on TV next week. I guess I feel pretty good about that. He’s not like, y’know, one of those guys that I’ll impress people by beating or anything…Throughout his whole career he’s had to be carried by somebody. The dozens of tag partners he's had, The bah-gillions of stables he’s been part of, Promoters he succeeded in…(clears his throat) “sucking” up to…Ohmigod, that had a TRIPLE meaning. As in, the usual meaning of the phrase; that he's a brown noser, what saying “he sucks,” refers to in the parlance of our times, AND that he prolly blows doods for stuff all the time…Anyway, my point was other people have been the only thing that gave his bland little identity any real sense of purpose. Left to his own devices, he’ll always be mediocre. Another half sincere freak, Lost in the shuffle. Barely visible…Soeyeguess, What has me super psyched for this match, isn’t so much a professional or career furthering factor. It’s mostly that, ah…(chuckles) hmmmm...Fire gets me excited…
(trances out and puts his cigarette out on the soft side of his forearm…) mmmm……hee hee…(voice slips into a dreamy tone…) And like, duh, I didn’t used to be mediocre and maybe after a while I wont be anymore, and my whole career it’s basically been me versus everybody else…So I guess that makes me better than Jarred Justice, but if he manages to watch this, I want him to know that’s not what’s important to me…And I’m not gonna bother telling him about how badly I’m going to hurt him. OF COURSE I’M GONNA HURT HIM a whole bunch but he’s like totally ceeerazy and will prolly giddily laugh and spray his pants while I peal off his skin to make a costume so I can be Jarred Justice for Halloween this year……What’s important to me Jarred, if you’re watching, is that you give this one 200%. The match itself is like…blah, y’know? What I think is indispensably important is ah…how the prospect of humping your hollow eye socket while you’re trying to incinerate me is getting me soooooo hot…And I will NOT let a shabby performance slide. If you fall all to pieces after 10 minutes, and I’m anything less than satisfied, I’m going to break stuff against the back of your head until I’ve gotten mine…The rapture of dancing while an inferno snaps and crackles up everything around, while you scream and cry and ask “Why me?!”…Oh, gaawd. (groans and slides a hand down his pants..) Giving me an erection will probably be the only thing of value or substance you’ll ever accomplish. So don’t pussy out…mmmm…Yeeeeah. C’mon baby… light my fire…
(CUTTO: Jen in the confessional…)
JEN: So I come back from the liquor store, and that guy who wears dresses was giving that guy with no legs a b(bleep)ob while the legless guy fingered his a(bleep)le right on my bed…At first I was very upset, but I guess that’s just his way of showing me that he really takes the five minute rule seriously, and I guess I should learn to respect that in the future…
NotorisSTD
League Member
MWTV
(A kid with terrible dreadlocks in a Tool T-shirt is sitting in his room typing on his computer…)
KID: Aw, this sucks.
(M.W. Grossard bursts in through the closet)
“The American Idol” M.W. Grossard: Hi there.
KID: WOW, it’s GLCW superstar M.W Grossard!!
M.W.: That’s my name. Don’t wear it out. What seems to be the problem, sport?
KID: Well, I started playing this online Ultimate Robot Fighting RPG cuz I wuz so bored my vision was blurring, but my opponent for my next match isn’t posting, so I’m bored again and the whole operation is proving to be self defeating.
M.W.: Well, if you’re bored you should take a handful or so of these. (pulls a bottle of pills out of his pants)
KID: Oh boy, what’s that? Ecstasy? Codeine? Addys? Ridds? KPs? Tylenol PM?
M.W.: Um…No, drugs are bad for you. This is new STACKING 2. 400 or so Milligrams of this and even MTV will seem really intellectually engaging, and you wont wanna sleep or eat anything for like a day…just don’t ah, y’know, try to lift weights or run or anything. Cuz you’ll black out.
KID: Aw, Crescent Fresh! Thanks M.W.
MW: no prob.
KID: hey, how did you get in my closet?
(CUTTO: close up of MW holding up a big yellow bottle of new STACKING 3 and giving a thumbs up.)
MW V/O: Stacking 3…The worlds strongest time burner…
(Now M.W. are the kid are watching MTV…)
MW: Yeah, ever since Christina Agulara showed her ass in Maxim and dyed her hair black for some reason I’ve been taking her more seriously as a legitimate artist…
(Blank screen)
BOSTWICK B. MAXIMIZED V/O: Here’s some highlights from this weeks episode of the Real World: Denver…It’s pimpin. B1tches…
(CUTTO: The scary skinhead chick in the confessional room…)
ABIGAIL: Y’see, whar people get mixed up about White Power is that it isn’t about discriminating against people because of their ancestory. It’s about accepting the scientifically proven FACT that white protestant people are smarter, more hard working, more sexually desirable, and better smelling than uh…y’know. All the other types.…So s’like, why should we be living next to all these inferiors, since all it’s gonna do is make them jealous and conspire to over throw the master race’s social dominance? People think it’s all about hate, but really it’s about pity.
(CUTTO: Abby pointing at Bobby in the kitchen…)
ABIGAL: GO BACK TO AFRICA YOU SMELLY N(bleep)!!!
(CUTTO: Abby in the room she shares with Suzanne the ninja…)
ABIGAL: DIE YOU DOG EATING, BABY GIRL KILLING, SARS CARRYING C(bleep)!!!
SUZZY: I’m not Chinese, you idiot…
(CUTTO: Abby in the living room, while MWG and Ernie the guy with no legs are smoking banana peals and watching Super Friends…)
ABBY: Look, why don’t you just let me castrate the two of you? You can’t see it as a good thing that you can still breed….
(back to Abby in the confessional)
ABBY: I like, say things to them and they get all upset like I’m trying to insult them. All I’m doing is trying to help them. Stop them from living in denial any longer…
(CUTTO: Abby and MWG sharing a bottle of JD….)
MWG: Look, I’m telling you, it’s been well documented that your idol the crappy painter was a flaming queen…
ABBY: LIAR!!!
MWG: Swear t’god. A guy that powerful would’ve been surrounded by groupies constantly if he wasn’t. Yet how often was he photographed next to a women?
ABBY: Cuz he had INTEGRETY!! Not like these rat finks like JFK and Clinton…
MWG: Integrity? He spearheaded a half baked power grabbing movement he himself couldn’t have possibly bought the rhetoric for. He killed like ah bah-gillion people cuz they weren’t the Aryan ideal, when he was part Jewish AND a fag. He was a total hypocrite…
ABBY: he was part Jewish?
MWG: Surely he was. I have about the same right to pass judgment on humanity that he did. You’ve been making a complete ass of yourself where ever you go, precious.
ABBY: Okay, but where’s the evidence that he was gay?
MWG: Wanna see pictures of him and Walt Disney doing crazy monkey sex?
(Abby and MWG are sitting on a bed looking through a dusty old photo album…Abby looks up at MWG…)
ABBY:…Mien Feur?
(MWG is in the confessional room…)
MWG: I’m actually kinda glad Jarred Justice hasn’t said anything. My last opponent was utterly brainless, so having to listen to Beavis with his tired old “heh heh heh heh, fire, heh heh heh, FIRE FIRE FIRE” ravings would probably drive me to shotgunning a bottle of draino. For a while I was greatly looking foreword to the prospect of ruining the sweetheart. I rubbed one out to the idea, to tell the truth. Now I think about Jarred Justice, all the hair on his body burned off, bleeding from the eye sockets, screaming my name, and it barely gets me up. (sighs)…Maybe it’s this house. Living with all this spoiled whiney early 20 somethings is making me jaded. When masturbation’s lost it’s fun you’re friggin’ loney…I need to have sex with something…Then I need to buy some Stacking 3 and watch TV for two days straight…
(CUTTO: Mike in the confessional…)
Mike: Ah lahke, make a run to the liquor store, rahght? Ah get back, and what else would ah fahnd on my bed but that evil Nazi broad licking peanut butter out of Ernie’s as(bleep)le, while MW was rubbing one out on her face. I thought M.W. was suposda be the gay one, but he’s apparently bi…or at least likes peanut butter a lot…(Cutoff)
ORPP: It should be noted that I wrote most of this, including the peanut butter thing, and my last post in the same sitting like a week ago. I watched the latest episode of the real Real World earlier tonight. The peanut butter references on that show were purely incidental.
(A kid with terrible dreadlocks in a Tool T-shirt is sitting in his room typing on his computer…)
KID: Aw, this sucks.
(M.W. Grossard bursts in through the closet)
“The American Idol” M.W. Grossard: Hi there.
KID: WOW, it’s GLCW superstar M.W Grossard!!
M.W.: That’s my name. Don’t wear it out. What seems to be the problem, sport?
KID: Well, I started playing this online Ultimate Robot Fighting RPG cuz I wuz so bored my vision was blurring, but my opponent for my next match isn’t posting, so I’m bored again and the whole operation is proving to be self defeating.
M.W.: Well, if you’re bored you should take a handful or so of these. (pulls a bottle of pills out of his pants)
KID: Oh boy, what’s that? Ecstasy? Codeine? Addys? Ridds? KPs? Tylenol PM?
M.W.: Um…No, drugs are bad for you. This is new STACKING 2. 400 or so Milligrams of this and even MTV will seem really intellectually engaging, and you wont wanna sleep or eat anything for like a day…just don’t ah, y’know, try to lift weights or run or anything. Cuz you’ll black out.
KID: Aw, Crescent Fresh! Thanks M.W.
MW: no prob.
KID: hey, how did you get in my closet?
(CUTTO: close up of MW holding up a big yellow bottle of new STACKING 3 and giving a thumbs up.)
MW V/O: Stacking 3…The worlds strongest time burner…
(Now M.W. are the kid are watching MTV…)
MW: Yeah, ever since Christina Agulara showed her ass in Maxim and dyed her hair black for some reason I’ve been taking her more seriously as a legitimate artist…
(Blank screen)
BOSTWICK B. MAXIMIZED V/O: Here’s some highlights from this weeks episode of the Real World: Denver…It’s pimpin. B1tches…
(CUTTO: The scary skinhead chick in the confessional room…)
ABIGAIL: Y’see, whar people get mixed up about White Power is that it isn’t about discriminating against people because of their ancestory. It’s about accepting the scientifically proven FACT that white protestant people are smarter, more hard working, more sexually desirable, and better smelling than uh…y’know. All the other types.…So s’like, why should we be living next to all these inferiors, since all it’s gonna do is make them jealous and conspire to over throw the master race’s social dominance? People think it’s all about hate, but really it’s about pity.
(CUTTO: Abby pointing at Bobby in the kitchen…)
ABIGAL: GO BACK TO AFRICA YOU SMELLY N(bleep)!!!
(CUTTO: Abby in the room she shares with Suzanne the ninja…)
ABIGAL: DIE YOU DOG EATING, BABY GIRL KILLING, SARS CARRYING C(bleep)!!!
SUZZY: I’m not Chinese, you idiot…
(CUTTO: Abby in the living room, while MWG and Ernie the guy with no legs are smoking banana peals and watching Super Friends…)
ABBY: Look, why don’t you just let me castrate the two of you? You can’t see it as a good thing that you can still breed….
(back to Abby in the confessional)
ABBY: I like, say things to them and they get all upset like I’m trying to insult them. All I’m doing is trying to help them. Stop them from living in denial any longer…
(CUTTO: Abby and MWG sharing a bottle of JD….)
MWG: Look, I’m telling you, it’s been well documented that your idol the crappy painter was a flaming queen…
ABBY: LIAR!!!
MWG: Swear t’god. A guy that powerful would’ve been surrounded by groupies constantly if he wasn’t. Yet how often was he photographed next to a women?
ABBY: Cuz he had INTEGRETY!! Not like these rat finks like JFK and Clinton…
MWG: Integrity? He spearheaded a half baked power grabbing movement he himself couldn’t have possibly bought the rhetoric for. He killed like ah bah-gillion people cuz they weren’t the Aryan ideal, when he was part Jewish AND a fag. He was a total hypocrite…
ABBY: he was part Jewish?
MWG: Surely he was. I have about the same right to pass judgment on humanity that he did. You’ve been making a complete ass of yourself where ever you go, precious.
ABBY: Okay, but where’s the evidence that he was gay?
MWG: Wanna see pictures of him and Walt Disney doing crazy monkey sex?
(Abby and MWG are sitting on a bed looking through a dusty old photo album…Abby looks up at MWG…)
ABBY:…Mien Feur?
(MWG is in the confessional room…)
MWG: I’m actually kinda glad Jarred Justice hasn’t said anything. My last opponent was utterly brainless, so having to listen to Beavis with his tired old “heh heh heh heh, fire, heh heh heh, FIRE FIRE FIRE” ravings would probably drive me to shotgunning a bottle of draino. For a while I was greatly looking foreword to the prospect of ruining the sweetheart. I rubbed one out to the idea, to tell the truth. Now I think about Jarred Justice, all the hair on his body burned off, bleeding from the eye sockets, screaming my name, and it barely gets me up. (sighs)…Maybe it’s this house. Living with all this spoiled whiney early 20 somethings is making me jaded. When masturbation’s lost it’s fun you’re friggin’ loney…I need to have sex with something…Then I need to buy some Stacking 3 and watch TV for two days straight…
(CUTTO: Mike in the confessional…)
Mike: Ah lahke, make a run to the liquor store, rahght? Ah get back, and what else would ah fahnd on my bed but that evil Nazi broad licking peanut butter out of Ernie’s as(bleep)le, while MW was rubbing one out on her face. I thought M.W. was suposda be the gay one, but he’s apparently bi…or at least likes peanut butter a lot…(Cutoff)
ORPP: It should be noted that I wrote most of this, including the peanut butter thing, and my last post in the same sitting like a week ago. I watched the latest episode of the real Real World earlier tonight. The peanut butter references on that show were purely incidental.
YinYangGuy
League Member
Reality BURNS
(FADE IN: Jared Justice is walking down a crowded street.)
JARED JUSTICE: You know, it figures that Madonna Wayne Grossard would partake in something so LAME as "The Real World." What's next? Survivor? Madonna...or do I have to call you MWG now? I won't want you to get sued by a certain "Material Girl" for gimmick infringement. So MWG, in case you haven't noticed, we are going to engage in a wrestling match....it is a different sense of reality than your shennanigans in San Diego!!! I'm coming to fight you. There won't be any tribal councils and no one is getting voted out. Next time you hop into your little confessional, maybe you ought to stare into the camera lens and admit to the world that while the thought of fighting me might excite you on the one hand, you're scared to death on the other. You refered to times in my career where I was in different tag teams, well, that's ancient history. I may do an occasion tag match here and there, but I don't need anyone to carry me. The truth is, you need to hide yourself in all of this idiocy like "The Real World" to cover up for the fact that you really aren't a man, woman, or whatever of any substance!! You can prance around in dresses and act like a flamer if you want....it's a free country. The reality of it though is that everyone looks at you like a joke. You may say the same thing about me. I know a lot of people don't respect me, but you know what? It doesn't matter to me if they do or not, because the fact of the matter is that I've been in the game for a long time and no matter what people say or do, I'm still here!! Do you think you're the first clown to come along and threaten me with acts of obscure physical violence? Well, you aren't. The way you talk, you almost sound like a Michael Manson wannabe. I've dealt with him and I'm still standing, I can deal with you as well. After this match is over, nothing is going to change. You aren't going to hurt me to the point that I can't bare to live another day. You don't have enough skill to do that. I'm not going to retire if you happen to defeat me. Nothing is going to come of this other than the fact that you are boring me to death!! So, if you'll excuse me....I have better things to attend to.
(FADE OUT)
(FADE IN: Jared Justice is walking down a crowded street.)
JARED JUSTICE: You know, it figures that Madonna Wayne Grossard would partake in something so LAME as "The Real World." What's next? Survivor? Madonna...or do I have to call you MWG now? I won't want you to get sued by a certain "Material Girl" for gimmick infringement. So MWG, in case you haven't noticed, we are going to engage in a wrestling match....it is a different sense of reality than your shennanigans in San Diego!!! I'm coming to fight you. There won't be any tribal councils and no one is getting voted out. Next time you hop into your little confessional, maybe you ought to stare into the camera lens and admit to the world that while the thought of fighting me might excite you on the one hand, you're scared to death on the other. You refered to times in my career where I was in different tag teams, well, that's ancient history. I may do an occasion tag match here and there, but I don't need anyone to carry me. The truth is, you need to hide yourself in all of this idiocy like "The Real World" to cover up for the fact that you really aren't a man, woman, or whatever of any substance!! You can prance around in dresses and act like a flamer if you want....it's a free country. The reality of it though is that everyone looks at you like a joke. You may say the same thing about me. I know a lot of people don't respect me, but you know what? It doesn't matter to me if they do or not, because the fact of the matter is that I've been in the game for a long time and no matter what people say or do, I'm still here!! Do you think you're the first clown to come along and threaten me with acts of obscure physical violence? Well, you aren't. The way you talk, you almost sound like a Michael Manson wannabe. I've dealt with him and I'm still standing, I can deal with you as well. After this match is over, nothing is going to change. You aren't going to hurt me to the point that I can't bare to live another day. You don't have enough skill to do that. I'm not going to retire if you happen to defeat me. Nothing is going to come of this other than the fact that you are boring me to death!! So, if you'll excuse me....I have better things to attend to.
(FADE OUT)