The Great Eye
I came to cut you up
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Post all Rp here, deadline is Saturday Night at 11:59. EST, March 5th
Legends Week 1 SJH Vs Alex Austin
- Thread starter The Great Eye
- Start date
LQJT86C
Where's my money, Chad?
Didn't he just retire? Do I win by default? Does this count as my first RP?
The Great Eye
I came to cut you up
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2004
- Messages
- 1,337
- Points
- 0
No, no, and no.
LQJT86C
Where's my money, Chad?
(FADEIN: He strokes his bearded jaw with the right hand. He leans back crosses the right leg over the left. ALEX AUSTIN lays across a matted floor, perhaps an hour or two after his last training session, and looks up at the ceiling with one hand behind his head)
AUSTIN: We live in a world...
...where bad consistently triumphs over good. Wrongs are righted less than their written. Model athletes are overshadowed, time and again, by scumbags looking for a payday. Shawn Hart, I look at you and see the posterboy of this bad joke they call PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING.
Let me tell you what I AM. Top ten world submission grappler, HANDS DOWN. I mean it's not even up for debate. I placed top 3 at the Worlds, won gold in my weight class at Mundials, received an invite to The Abu Dhabi Combat Club submission grappling tournament.
That's pedigree, Shawn. Serious f*cking pedigree. You couldn't even BEGIN to fathom the ways I could hurt you. End your career, in fact. Pop of the knee here, separation of the shoulder there...broken arm, broken foot.
(Sits up)
Look, I'm just going to come out and say it. This whole industry, this PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING...it's a g*ddamn joke. You guys run around here spitting out catch-phrases, dressed in clown's attire, doing backflips and somersaults and all kinds of stupid crap that makes me shake my head and wonder, why the HELL anyone would pay a ticket to see that. You're glorified acrobats, plain and simple. And that's not what I'M about.
I feel that if you're gonna call yourself a professional, you should ACT LIKE ONE. You should display mastery inside that ring. Apply moves with such grace and efficiency that those who watch will be inspired to go and learn it themselves. Instead, little kids are paralyzing each other on trampolines trying to be the next Shawn Hart.
Don't get me wrong, I USED TO really care about that stuff. Now? Good riddance. If you're dumb enough to wanna be like Shawn Hart, I HOPE you break your neck. I hope it's a short life for ya, truly I do. One less idiot.
But what I won't have is for some bastardized carnival grappling to continue to PROFIT and PROSPER by making believe it's somehow ON THE LEVEL with what EYE do. This time, the good guys are going to win. I'm going to climb into the circus maximus and embarrass every single one of you, and highlight REAL ATH-LETES like myself.
When I make you tap a former "World Champion" like yourself in under a minute, Shawn, this whole INDUSTRY will be exposed for the joke it is and always was. And then the people can properly EXPERIENCE Alex Austin when they buy a ticket to see Grappler's Quest, or order the ADCC championships on DVD. Alex Austin versus PROFESSIONALS. Alex Austin versus WORLD MASTERS. Alex Austin- gold medalist, world champion.
Alex Austin is a champion among champions and masters. So what the f*ck do you think I am amongst carnies and hustlers like you?
Don't answer that. You don't have to. What you DO need to ask yourself, though, is if your ego can handle the humiliation. Because I don't think it can.
Take comfort, Shawn. I'm not here to make an example of just you. There's more to come- A LOT more. From Alex Austin- WORLD CHAMPION. WORLD MASTER. CHAMPION ATH-LETE.
(FADEOUT)
AUSTIN: We live in a world...
...where bad consistently triumphs over good. Wrongs are righted less than their written. Model athletes are overshadowed, time and again, by scumbags looking for a payday. Shawn Hart, I look at you and see the posterboy of this bad joke they call PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING.
Let me tell you what I AM. Top ten world submission grappler, HANDS DOWN. I mean it's not even up for debate. I placed top 3 at the Worlds, won gold in my weight class at Mundials, received an invite to The Abu Dhabi Combat Club submission grappling tournament.
That's pedigree, Shawn. Serious f*cking pedigree. You couldn't even BEGIN to fathom the ways I could hurt you. End your career, in fact. Pop of the knee here, separation of the shoulder there...broken arm, broken foot.
(Sits up)
Look, I'm just going to come out and say it. This whole industry, this PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING...it's a g*ddamn joke. You guys run around here spitting out catch-phrases, dressed in clown's attire, doing backflips and somersaults and all kinds of stupid crap that makes me shake my head and wonder, why the HELL anyone would pay a ticket to see that. You're glorified acrobats, plain and simple. And that's not what I'M about.
I feel that if you're gonna call yourself a professional, you should ACT LIKE ONE. You should display mastery inside that ring. Apply moves with such grace and efficiency that those who watch will be inspired to go and learn it themselves. Instead, little kids are paralyzing each other on trampolines trying to be the next Shawn Hart.
Don't get me wrong, I USED TO really care about that stuff. Now? Good riddance. If you're dumb enough to wanna be like Shawn Hart, I HOPE you break your neck. I hope it's a short life for ya, truly I do. One less idiot.
But what I won't have is for some bastardized carnival grappling to continue to PROFIT and PROSPER by making believe it's somehow ON THE LEVEL with what EYE do. This time, the good guys are going to win. I'm going to climb into the circus maximus and embarrass every single one of you, and highlight REAL ATH-LETES like myself.
When I make you tap a former "World Champion" like yourself in under a minute, Shawn, this whole INDUSTRY will be exposed for the joke it is and always was. And then the people can properly EXPERIENCE Alex Austin when they buy a ticket to see Grappler's Quest, or order the ADCC championships on DVD. Alex Austin versus PROFESSIONALS. Alex Austin versus WORLD MASTERS. Alex Austin- gold medalist, world champion.
Alex Austin is a champion among champions and masters. So what the f*ck do you think I am amongst carnies and hustlers like you?
Don't answer that. You don't have to. What you DO need to ask yourself, though, is if your ego can handle the humiliation. Because I don't think it can.
Take comfort, Shawn. I'm not here to make an example of just you. There's more to come- A LOT more. From Alex Austin- WORLD CHAMPION. WORLD MASTER. CHAMPION ATH-LETE.
(FADEOUT)
ShawnHartXXX
The Phenom
The Score.
FADE IN:
Le Cheateau du Phenom in Orlando, Florida - The 11th hour
Former world champion and all-around swell guy, SHAWN JESSICA HART, is kicking back in his Rumpus Room. With his hair in pig-tails and his body decked from head to toe in full-on tiger-print pleather, Pro Wrestling's SJH appears locked and ready to unload another in his seemingly unending series of zany diatribes.
CLOSE ON: Hart's mug
SJH: "So this is what it's come to..."
The former cornerstone of places like Empire Pro and New Era Wrestling shakes his head in utter disbelief.
SJH: "Two-bit JACKHOLES that are greener than the grass I smoke nightly have apparently acquired some kind of pre-ordained license to SPIT and SH(FCC)T on whoever or WHATEVER they deem fit without having done a GODD(FCC)MN thing to back it up..."
He chuckles to himself wryly.
SJH: "What can I say, really... 'cept been there and done that?"
He stares inquisitively into the camera as it pulls out for a wider shot of the Phenom in all his tiger-skinned glory.
SJH: "I mean, this IS the wrestling business... and in said business, just as sure as there's a mat, four turnbuckles, and ring ropes tying the whole mess together, there's that up n' comin', rockin'-rollin', wheelin'-deelin' BLUE CHIPPER that thinks he's got aaaaaaaall the answers to that age-old, ultime question....
What does it take to get to the top?!"
He chuckles once more.
SJH: "Alex Austin - I can't say I blame ya for bein' more of the same. HELL, I've been that way since the day I laced up my first l'il training boots. But while the status quo in this sport may be a buncha hot shots that thinks the rest of the industry ows them somethin', the steak n' eggs of the situation is that the vast majority of 'em are just gonna get their fancy-asses handed to them... along with a one-way ticket to obscurity and Taco Bell employment!
Call it a mockery, call it an OUTRAGE, my Magic 8-ball calls it the truth! And the TRUTH of the matter here is that while you're over there NOW with a hole heap of self-righteousness stuck up your pretty little backside, spewin' nonsense and jackholery about how you're gonna make Mr. XXX in the flesh tap out in under a minute... when push comes to shove, the two of us are goin' toe to toe in that ol' squared circle, and you're faced with utter GODLINESS that is Jam Master Jiggy, SHAWN HART - you, me, and all the rest of the waking world is gonna know that, deep down, your ass is Tom Jones'in it!"
CUE MUSIC...
TOM JONES: "What's up PUUSSSSYCAT, whooooa-oooah-oooooh-ooooah!!"
SJH: "And that yours truly, the Heavyweight Champion of the UNIVERSE, remains the most uberriffic thing ever to walk that ailse.
Think I'm wrong??"
He smirks.
SJH: "Try and prove it; it'll be the first, last and ONLY thing your over-privileged PATOOT ever does in this sport.
The PHENOM has left the building!"
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
Le Cheateau du Phenom in Orlando, Florida - The 11th hour
Former world champion and all-around swell guy, SHAWN JESSICA HART, is kicking back in his Rumpus Room. With his hair in pig-tails and his body decked from head to toe in full-on tiger-print pleather, Pro Wrestling's SJH appears locked and ready to unload another in his seemingly unending series of zany diatribes.
CLOSE ON: Hart's mug
SJH: "So this is what it's come to..."
The former cornerstone of places like Empire Pro and New Era Wrestling shakes his head in utter disbelief.
SJH: "Two-bit JACKHOLES that are greener than the grass I smoke nightly have apparently acquired some kind of pre-ordained license to SPIT and SH(FCC)T on whoever or WHATEVER they deem fit without having done a GODD(FCC)MN thing to back it up..."
He chuckles to himself wryly.
SJH: "What can I say, really... 'cept been there and done that?"
He stares inquisitively into the camera as it pulls out for a wider shot of the Phenom in all his tiger-skinned glory.
SJH: "I mean, this IS the wrestling business... and in said business, just as sure as there's a mat, four turnbuckles, and ring ropes tying the whole mess together, there's that up n' comin', rockin'-rollin', wheelin'-deelin' BLUE CHIPPER that thinks he's got aaaaaaaall the answers to that age-old, ultime question....
What does it take to get to the top?!"
He chuckles once more.
SJH: "Alex Austin - I can't say I blame ya for bein' more of the same. HELL, I've been that way since the day I laced up my first l'il training boots. But while the status quo in this sport may be a buncha hot shots that thinks the rest of the industry ows them somethin', the steak n' eggs of the situation is that the vast majority of 'em are just gonna get their fancy-asses handed to them... along with a one-way ticket to obscurity and Taco Bell employment!
Call it a mockery, call it an OUTRAGE, my Magic 8-ball calls it the truth! And the TRUTH of the matter here is that while you're over there NOW with a hole heap of self-righteousness stuck up your pretty little backside, spewin' nonsense and jackholery about how you're gonna make Mr. XXX in the flesh tap out in under a minute... when push comes to shove, the two of us are goin' toe to toe in that ol' squared circle, and you're faced with utter GODLINESS that is Jam Master Jiggy, SHAWN HART - you, me, and all the rest of the waking world is gonna know that, deep down, your ass is Tom Jones'in it!"
CUE MUSIC...
TOM JONES: "What's up PUUSSSSYCAT, whooooa-oooah-oooooh-ooooah!!"
SJH: "And that yours truly, the Heavyweight Champion of the UNIVERSE, remains the most uberriffic thing ever to walk that ailse.
Think I'm wrong??"
He smirks.
SJH: "Try and prove it; it'll be the first, last and ONLY thing your over-privileged PATOOT ever does in this sport.
The PHENOM has left the building!"
FADE OUT.
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