Re: King of the Mountain: Niles vs. GRILLE vs. Waltz vs. El Cabron vs TBA
"Why do I even bother?"
[FADE IN to Johnny Niles lying on a park bench, looking at the sky while shaking his head. He looks displeased - almost embarresed - as he sighs heavily. Around him various passersby pass by (obviously), watching the man being filmed. One kid hops in front of him, delighted to be on camera, before his mother pulls him away. Oblivious to his surroundings, Johnny closes his eyes, pondering about what he'll say. He then sits up, facing the camera as he laughs for some reason.]
Niles: Wow, I actually believed you were slightly threataning. Now I realise that you're even more pathetic than the average hobo, and that saddens me. To think, I actually have to fight you - let alone decimate you - makes me sick to my stomach. I'm against cruelty to animals, but apparently I'll have to beat one to a pulp if I want to win the Mountain Rainer title. That can't be good for my image...
[Laughs, before realising he forgot something]
Niles: Oh yeah, you're probably wondering who's filming me. I can assure you, it's not one of those morons who work at the IWF. He's a true cameraman, capable of making even the most boring thing look like a spectacle.
Replacement Cameraman: But you just asked everyone in the park to film you, and I was the only one that accepted.
[Johnny glares at the man behind the camera, but soon chuckles]
Niles: True, but that still makes you more competent than them. Now where was I... Oh yeah, I was talking about a piece of crap named Toast Bread, who apparently doesn't mind making a mockery of himself. I know what you were trying to do there, Toastie. You tried the "take the insult, accept it, and use it as a gimmick" routine. However, I believe you misunderstood what that routine stands for. It doesn't make you funny, Toastie, it makes you pathetic. And to believe that you dragged some morons into that whole shitfest of a joke, sickens me. But then again those morons might not have a problem with making fools of themselves, isn't that right Make Monkey?
Cameraman: Make Monkey? What kind of bullshit name is that? (Laughs)
[Johnny glares at the cameraman, warning him not to interrupt again. The cameraman quickly quiets down.]
Niles: So Make Monkey, do you like pissing wherever you like. What, did your mother f**k a dog when she was drunk or something?
[Some passersby overhear this, looking in shock at Johnny Niles. One woman covers her daughter's ears. Johnny however, doesn't notice this.]
Niles: Cause as far as I know, dogs piss anywhere, whereas people - civilised people- piss in toilets. But then again, we're talking about Toastie's entorage here, so no wonder they don't know the meaning of "civilised". And then there's that sob story. (With a mock french accent) Waaaa, waaaa, I am garbage. Nobody likes me, zey all think I'm a pig. *Imitates a pig* Waaa, I should go piss in my bowl, and drink it. Zat will make things better. Waaaaaa... (Stops the mock accent) I kind of feel sorry for you, Toastie, cause you apparently have yet to understand why everyone looked down on you, stepped on you, et cetera, et cetera. Let me explain it to you, in a way that even a sorry excuse for a moron like you can understand.
[Inhales deeply, begins moving his hands like he's explaining it to a primitive human.]
Niles: YOUR NAME IS TOOOAAAASSST BBBREEEAAADDD. YOU ARE AN ADDLEPATE. A BLOCKHEAD. A DINGBAT. A LOONY. A DIMWIT. A DOLT. A NUMSKULL. AN IGNORAMUS. AN IMBECILE. A MOOORRROOONNN. YOUR PALS IN THE LEGION ARE ALSO MOOORRRROOONNNNS.
[Frowns and shakes his head, showing that he isn't enjoying this.]
Niles: Do you understand now? I hope so, cause from your comment on "me eating out of the man's hand", I don't have much hope for you. Who's hand am I eating from exactly? Nathan Fear? Courtney Paz? Hell, Terry Anderson? I don't take any crap from them, and if they do try to feed me some bullshit I'll shove it right down their throats. Besides, why would I eat anything from a hand that's been who knows where?
[He rubs his eyes, signifying that he's tired of dealing with the moron known as Pain Grille - or in English, Toast Bread.]
Niles: I hope you get this through your thick skull: You will not win the Mountain Rainer title, I will. Hell, I'm starting to care more about not letting some moron like you win it than actually winning it. But no matter what moronic bullshit you spout, or anyone else spouts for that matter, I will stop at nothing to win that title. Cause if this company is really as much of a shithole as you say it is, then I will stop at nothing to make this the greatest professional wrestling federation known to man. Because the Best in the World can't belong to a shithole, he belongs to a promotion worthy of him, and that's exactly what I'll make this company. This is Johnny Niles, your future Mountain Rainer champion, your future Emerald City champion, and the Best... in... the... World...
[Proceeds to get up, whistling the tune of his theme when he suddenly stops in his tracks, remembering something.]
Niles: Wait... Weren't there three others in this match. Axy, "Special Offer: Get Two Losses for the Price of One" Waltz, and The Bastard? I haven't heard from them, have you? (The cameraman shakes his head) Well then, they must be intimidated from me. Or maybe they aren't taking me seriously enough. Either way, Nathan, if you're watching do yourself a favor and go scout some new talent. Cause at King of the Mountain, the IWF will have four less people on it's roster. (Turns to the cameraman) Now turn the camera off.
[Johnny walks away and the replacement cameraman does exactly that as we FADE OUT TO BLACK...]