EZieba
New member
- Joined
- Jul 8, 1998
- Messages
- 427
- Points
- 0
- Age
- 53
- Location
- Sierra Vista, Arizona
- Website
- www.facebook.com
Normal Match
Jeffery Roberts vs. Dragon Assassin
- Thread starter EZieba
- Start date
B
BuffBellows
Guest
Usted Aspira! (That's Portuguese For "You Suck")
"What a week..."
The man sat in a chair facing the wall, still clad in his typical black body suit and trunks; however, in a rarely-witnessed occurrence, his head was unmasked. Only the back of his head could be seen as he faced the featureless surface before him.
"Yet," he mused, raising his head to gaze towards the ceiling, "I remain undaunted, if only because he couldn't pin me if his life depended on it..."
Reaching up, he crammed the colorful lucha mask down onto his head, tying it tightly under the chin before turning the chair towards the camera. Quietly, he reached over and turned it on.
-----
Fading in from darkness, a scene takes shape before us. This appears to be a plain, unremarkable locker room, as suggested by the barest edge of a locker visible in the left side of the shot. A steel chair is the focus of this scene - actually, the focus is the man sitting in the chair. It is Dragon Assassin, garbed in his typical black body suit and the mask procured from the hospitalized El Martyr. A small smirk adorns his face.
"First off, I'm going to address something," Dragon says in a calm voice. "I'm sure a lot of people can't WAIT to laugh at me because that witless oaf Judas 'beat' me. Let us clear the air, then. Judas beat nothing because he's an imbecile. One would think that after all his bragging about how he outclassed me, he would be intelligent enough to remember that you can't win matches outside the ring. However, if Little Judy feels he needs to finish the job and prove he CAN back up his bragging, I have no objection. Next time, however, there will BE no count out. In truth, the only counting going on will be the referee counting 1-2-3 as I pin that oaf's shoulders to the mat. Because unlike Juuuuudas, I CAN back up my sh*t-talk... provided that my opponent is SMART enough to remain in the ring."
Dragon reaches up and adjusts his mask minutely, then clears his throat.
"But I'm getting sidetracked. For now, I'm going to forget Beefy Boy over there and focus on my opponent at Onslaught - the esteemed Jeffrey Roberts. ...I guess this is the part where I tremble with fear at the thought of wrestling one of the best high-flying athletes in the history of GXW and its parent promotions. Hmm. I think I'll take a rain check on the trembling in fear."
"Jeff-san, before I get going here, I have to ask you a question..."
The little man grins.
"Are you on crack, or what?"
"Honestly. Just what the hell is the deal with running around backstage speaking in this or that foreign language? Looking to expand your horizons? Or maybe you want to open a school of languages. 'Jeffie Roberts' School Of Gibberish.' Whatever the case, I've got to hand it to you - your act is quite hilarous. But I do hope you drop the act and cut a promo or two in English, or at least Japanese. Something I understand, at any rate. What fun is it gonna be if I have to stop to translate every line?"
"But let's get serious here, Jeff-san. I, personally, was extremely pleased to find myself booked in this match. Don't get a big head, though; I wasn't pleased because of any sort of respect or reverence for you. Rather, I was pleased at the grand opportunity that has been placed before me. If I defeat you, I move up in the world. Think about it for a moment. Not a soul in this company expects me to win this match. Why would they? The only deed I have to my name is breaking El Martyr's freaking neck. But if I can prove the critics wrong and pull out the win, people will sit up and take notice. One of GXW's best high-fliers, upset by a newcomer to the promotion... sounds newsworthy to me."
"Don't get me wrong, though. I certainly don't anticipate a cakewalk. I'd be disappointed if this DID turn out to be a cakewalk. Rather, I fully expect you to bring your A game. I fully expect you to bring me to my limits. You know what? That's exactly what I was hoping for. I'll be the first to admit that I've been a little off my game lately, and what better way to get back ON that game than by wrestling someone who can actually keep up with me? But I'll let you know something right now. I may've slacked off a little at X-Perience, but there will be no slacking on my end at Onslaught. I'm fully determined to take you out and PROVE to those slack-jawed trailer trash fans that I AM exactly what I say I am - and I say that I'm a big-in-Japan high-flying phenomenon with talent seeping out every pore in my body."
"So I'll tell you what, Jeff-san. Pop some Ritalin... Throw out your French-English dictionary... And in the words of the Italians, baci la mia estremità. 'Cause I'm big in Japan. And you, sir, are not."
Fade out.
-----
"Kamis... I really hope that Italian line translates right."
"What a week..."
The man sat in a chair facing the wall, still clad in his typical black body suit and trunks; however, in a rarely-witnessed occurrence, his head was unmasked. Only the back of his head could be seen as he faced the featureless surface before him.
"Yet," he mused, raising his head to gaze towards the ceiling, "I remain undaunted, if only because he couldn't pin me if his life depended on it..."
Reaching up, he crammed the colorful lucha mask down onto his head, tying it tightly under the chin before turning the chair towards the camera. Quietly, he reached over and turned it on.
-----
Fading in from darkness, a scene takes shape before us. This appears to be a plain, unremarkable locker room, as suggested by the barest edge of a locker visible in the left side of the shot. A steel chair is the focus of this scene - actually, the focus is the man sitting in the chair. It is Dragon Assassin, garbed in his typical black body suit and the mask procured from the hospitalized El Martyr. A small smirk adorns his face.
"First off, I'm going to address something," Dragon says in a calm voice. "I'm sure a lot of people can't WAIT to laugh at me because that witless oaf Judas 'beat' me. Let us clear the air, then. Judas beat nothing because he's an imbecile. One would think that after all his bragging about how he outclassed me, he would be intelligent enough to remember that you can't win matches outside the ring. However, if Little Judy feels he needs to finish the job and prove he CAN back up his bragging, I have no objection. Next time, however, there will BE no count out. In truth, the only counting going on will be the referee counting 1-2-3 as I pin that oaf's shoulders to the mat. Because unlike Juuuuudas, I CAN back up my sh*t-talk... provided that my opponent is SMART enough to remain in the ring."
Dragon reaches up and adjusts his mask minutely, then clears his throat.
"But I'm getting sidetracked. For now, I'm going to forget Beefy Boy over there and focus on my opponent at Onslaught - the esteemed Jeffrey Roberts. ...I guess this is the part where I tremble with fear at the thought of wrestling one of the best high-flying athletes in the history of GXW and its parent promotions. Hmm. I think I'll take a rain check on the trembling in fear."
"Jeff-san, before I get going here, I have to ask you a question..."
The little man grins.
"Are you on crack, or what?"
"Honestly. Just what the hell is the deal with running around backstage speaking in this or that foreign language? Looking to expand your horizons? Or maybe you want to open a school of languages. 'Jeffie Roberts' School Of Gibberish.' Whatever the case, I've got to hand it to you - your act is quite hilarous. But I do hope you drop the act and cut a promo or two in English, or at least Japanese. Something I understand, at any rate. What fun is it gonna be if I have to stop to translate every line?"
"But let's get serious here, Jeff-san. I, personally, was extremely pleased to find myself booked in this match. Don't get a big head, though; I wasn't pleased because of any sort of respect or reverence for you. Rather, I was pleased at the grand opportunity that has been placed before me. If I defeat you, I move up in the world. Think about it for a moment. Not a soul in this company expects me to win this match. Why would they? The only deed I have to my name is breaking El Martyr's freaking neck. But if I can prove the critics wrong and pull out the win, people will sit up and take notice. One of GXW's best high-fliers, upset by a newcomer to the promotion... sounds newsworthy to me."
"Don't get me wrong, though. I certainly don't anticipate a cakewalk. I'd be disappointed if this DID turn out to be a cakewalk. Rather, I fully expect you to bring your A game. I fully expect you to bring me to my limits. You know what? That's exactly what I was hoping for. I'll be the first to admit that I've been a little off my game lately, and what better way to get back ON that game than by wrestling someone who can actually keep up with me? But I'll let you know something right now. I may've slacked off a little at X-Perience, but there will be no slacking on my end at Onslaught. I'm fully determined to take you out and PROVE to those slack-jawed trailer trash fans that I AM exactly what I say I am - and I say that I'm a big-in-Japan high-flying phenomenon with talent seeping out every pore in my body."
"So I'll tell you what, Jeff-san. Pop some Ritalin... Throw out your French-English dictionary... And in the words of the Italians, baci la mia estremità. 'Cause I'm big in Japan. And you, sir, are not."
Fade out.
-----
"Kamis... I really hope that Italian line translates right."
F*ck off (That's English for F*ck off)
The scene opens up to a shot of the famous GXW backdrop in the interview area. Mojo Massey stands by next to an unknown gentlemen as the camera shot rolls.
MM: "This is Mojo! I'm backstage right here in Belfast as we prepare to hear from one Jeffrey Roberts concerning his match with Dragon Assassin. We hope to get some words from him concerning the earlier words that Assassin produced".
Roberts walks into the scene suddenly wearing what appears to be a Bullfighter's costume. Mojo is momentarily confused, but holds the mic up to Roberts.
MM: "Mr. Roberts! It's a pleasure to speak with you once again. I'd like to introduce you to Hans Meisenheimer. He'll be translating for us...
Roberts: "O que você disse?"
MM: (looking in shock with his jaw dropped) "Uhhh....I expected you to be speaking German...."
Roberts: "O que o inferno é você que fala aproximadamente, Massey?"
(Massey stands speechless until finally Roberts shoves him out of the way and takes the microphone away from him while muttering under his breath in a Portuguese accent) ......"Idiot."
Roberts: "Agora isso que pouco limpdick é fora de minha maneira, como sobre nós começamos para baixo ao negócio? Eu mandei alguém traduzir seu promo pequeno, assassino do dragon. Eu não sei aonde o inferno você começa fora de pisar acima em meus mundo e corredor sua boca. Eu não penso de um pouco não faço nada parte de cão que japonês o crap como você necessita me falar sobre estar na rachadura. Eu falo a mesma língua que eu falei sempre. Eu chamo-a ' chicote seu burro do punk por dez minutos e embarrass o na frente de seu mama-ish.' E se você itching assim mal para ir à escola, não se preocupe. O onslaught não está ausente demasiado distante...."
"Agora vamos falar sobre este oppurtunity que ' grande ' você tem na frente de você. Eu suponho-os não tenho jornais em Japão. Veja, sobre aqui neste lado da lagoa em onde são permitidas às crianças ter vidas e nossos povos não andam ao redor com cabeças três vezes o tamanho de seus corpos devidos a radiação de começar seus BURROS entregues a eles sessenta anos há, mim fizeram a um inferno de um nome para myself não somente povos batendo o anel mas maiming os.....aleijando os....making eles um escudo de seus selves anteriores. Assim yeah, você have.got um inferno de um oppurtunity. Um inferno de um oppurtunity para começar seu burro enviou para trás a Japão em uma caixa do pinho...."
"É agradável de você querer para que eu traga meu Um-jogo, especial desde que meu Z-jogo faz seu Um-jogo olhar demasiado como Mojo Massey elevado em muitos antihistamines. Eu sou realmente feliz para você que você põe o EL Martyr sobre a prateleira. Somente problema com isto é, eu nunca ouvi-me do EL Martyr assim que eu não sei porque aquele deve me imprimir. Eu pude também dizê-lo que eu agitei abaixo o playground local da escola elementar e aleijei alguns kindy-gartners...
"É assim aqui o que eu estou indo fazer. Em vez de estalar Ritalin, e em vez de jogar para fora de um dicionário francês-inglês... desde que eu não me falo tampouco daquelas línguas... pense do eu divertir-se-á apenas que fazendo um exemplo fora de outro do pensamento novo o mais fino de rookies..On segundo de GXW, desde que nenhuns dele estão disponíveis, eu farei apenas um exemplo fora de você preferivelmente. Aquele é menino direito do dragon... no onslaught que está indo ser sayonara para você, cuz não importa como grande você está em Japão...."
"Eu estou indo carve o em uma placa grande dos sushi...."
Roberts tosses the microphone down and walks offstage as we....
F2 Static....
The scene opens up to a shot of the famous GXW backdrop in the interview area. Mojo Massey stands by next to an unknown gentlemen as the camera shot rolls.
MM: "This is Mojo! I'm backstage right here in Belfast as we prepare to hear from one Jeffrey Roberts concerning his match with Dragon Assassin. We hope to get some words from him concerning the earlier words that Assassin produced".
Roberts walks into the scene suddenly wearing what appears to be a Bullfighter's costume. Mojo is momentarily confused, but holds the mic up to Roberts.
MM: "Mr. Roberts! It's a pleasure to speak with you once again. I'd like to introduce you to Hans Meisenheimer. He'll be translating for us...
Roberts: "O que você disse?"
MM: (looking in shock with his jaw dropped) "Uhhh....I expected you to be speaking German...."
Roberts: "O que o inferno é você que fala aproximadamente, Massey?"
(Massey stands speechless until finally Roberts shoves him out of the way and takes the microphone away from him while muttering under his breath in a Portuguese accent) ......"Idiot."
Roberts: "Agora isso que pouco limpdick é fora de minha maneira, como sobre nós começamos para baixo ao negócio? Eu mandei alguém traduzir seu promo pequeno, assassino do dragon. Eu não sei aonde o inferno você começa fora de pisar acima em meus mundo e corredor sua boca. Eu não penso de um pouco não faço nada parte de cão que japonês o crap como você necessita me falar sobre estar na rachadura. Eu falo a mesma língua que eu falei sempre. Eu chamo-a ' chicote seu burro do punk por dez minutos e embarrass o na frente de seu mama-ish.' E se você itching assim mal para ir à escola, não se preocupe. O onslaught não está ausente demasiado distante...."
"Agora vamos falar sobre este oppurtunity que ' grande ' você tem na frente de você. Eu suponho-os não tenho jornais em Japão. Veja, sobre aqui neste lado da lagoa em onde são permitidas às crianças ter vidas e nossos povos não andam ao redor com cabeças três vezes o tamanho de seus corpos devidos a radiação de começar seus BURROS entregues a eles sessenta anos há, mim fizeram a um inferno de um nome para myself não somente povos batendo o anel mas maiming os.....aleijando os....making eles um escudo de seus selves anteriores. Assim yeah, você have.got um inferno de um oppurtunity. Um inferno de um oppurtunity para começar seu burro enviou para trás a Japão em uma caixa do pinho...."
"É agradável de você querer para que eu traga meu Um-jogo, especial desde que meu Z-jogo faz seu Um-jogo olhar demasiado como Mojo Massey elevado em muitos antihistamines. Eu sou realmente feliz para você que você põe o EL Martyr sobre a prateleira. Somente problema com isto é, eu nunca ouvi-me do EL Martyr assim que eu não sei porque aquele deve me imprimir. Eu pude também dizê-lo que eu agitei abaixo o playground local da escola elementar e aleijei alguns kindy-gartners...
"É assim aqui o que eu estou indo fazer. Em vez de estalar Ritalin, e em vez de jogar para fora de um dicionário francês-inglês... desde que eu não me falo tampouco daquelas línguas... pense do eu divertir-se-á apenas que fazendo um exemplo fora de outro do pensamento novo o mais fino de rookies..On segundo de GXW, desde que nenhuns dele estão disponíveis, eu farei apenas um exemplo fora de você preferivelmente. Aquele é menino direito do dragon... no onslaught que está indo ser sayonara para você, cuz não importa como grande você está em Japão...."
"Eu estou indo carve o em uma placa grande dos sushi...."
Roberts tosses the microphone down and walks offstage as we....
F2 Static....
EZieba
New member
- Joined
- Jul 8, 1998
- Messages
- 427
- Points
- 0
- Age
- 53
- Location
- Sierra Vista, Arizona
- Website
- www.facebook.com
The Front Office
(The camera fades in to GXW Owner Erik Zieba who is sitting behind his desk)
EZ: Hello friends. We here at GXW have noticed that Mr. Roberts last promo shoot was done in Portuguese. So, being the fair owner that I am, I got my crack translators on the job and they have solved the case. So, on that note, let's rewind the last tape and replay it in ENGLISH!
--------
The scene opens up to a shot of the famous GXW backdrop in the interview area. Mojo Massey stands by next to an unknown gentlemen as the camera shot rolls.
MM: "This is Mojo! I'm backstage right here in Belfast as we prepare to hear from one Jeffrey Roberts concerning his match with Dragon Assassin. We hope to get some words from him concerning the earlier words that Assassin produced".
Roberts walks into the scene suddenly wearing what appears to be a Bullfighter's costume. Mojo is momentarily confused, but holds the mic up to Roberts.
MM: "Mr. Roberts! It's a pleasure to speak with you once again. I'd like to introduce you to Hans Meisenheimer. He'll be translating for us...
Roberts: "What did you say?"
MM: (looking in shock with his jaw dropped) "Uhhh....I expected you to be speaking German...."
Roberts: "What the hell are you talking about, Massey?"
(Massey stands speechless until finally Roberts shoves him out of the way and takes the microphone away from him while muttering under his breath) ......"Idiot."
Roberts: "Now that that little limpdick is out of my way, how about we get down to business? I had someone translate your little promo, Dragon Assassin. I don't know where the hell you get off stepping up into my world and running your mouth. I don't think a little do nothing piece of Japanese dog crap like you needs to be talking to me about being on crack. I speak the same language I've always spoken. I call it 'whip your punk ass for ten minutes and embarrass you in front of your mama-ish.' And if you're itching so badly to go to school, don't worry. Onslaught isn't too far away...."
"Now let's talk about this 'grand' oppurtunity you have in front of you. I guess they don't have newspapers in Japan. See, over here on this side of the pond where children are allowed to have lives and our people don't walk around with heads three times the size of their bodies due the radiation from getting their ASSES handed to them sixty years ago, I've made a hell of a name for myself not only beating people in the ring but maiming them.....crippling them....making them a shell of their former selves. So yeah, you've got a hell of an oppurtunity. A hell of an oppurtunity to get your ass shipped back to Japan in a pine box...."
"It's nice of you to want for me to bring my A-game, especially since my Z-game makes your A-game look like Mojo Massey high on too many antihistamines. I'm really happy for you that you put El Martyr on the shelf. Only problem with that is, I've never heard of El Martyr so I don't know why that should impress me. I might as well tell you I shook down the local elementary school playground and crippled some kindy-gartners...
"So here's what I'm gonna do. Instead of popping Ritalin, and instead of throwing out a French-English dictionary...since I don't speak either of those languages...I think I'll just amuse myself by making an example out of another of GXW's finest new rookies..On second thought, since none of them are available, I'll just make an example out of you instead. That's right dragon boy...at Onslaught it's gonna be sayonara for you, cuz no matter how big you are in Japan...."
"I'm gonna carve you into a big f**king plate of sushi...."
Roberts tosses the microphone down and walks offstage as we....
F2 Static....
(The camera fades in to GXW Owner Erik Zieba who is sitting behind his desk)
EZ: Hello friends. We here at GXW have noticed that Mr. Roberts last promo shoot was done in Portuguese. So, being the fair owner that I am, I got my crack translators on the job and they have solved the case. So, on that note, let's rewind the last tape and replay it in ENGLISH!
--------
The scene opens up to a shot of the famous GXW backdrop in the interview area. Mojo Massey stands by next to an unknown gentlemen as the camera shot rolls.
MM: "This is Mojo! I'm backstage right here in Belfast as we prepare to hear from one Jeffrey Roberts concerning his match with Dragon Assassin. We hope to get some words from him concerning the earlier words that Assassin produced".
Roberts walks into the scene suddenly wearing what appears to be a Bullfighter's costume. Mojo is momentarily confused, but holds the mic up to Roberts.
MM: "Mr. Roberts! It's a pleasure to speak with you once again. I'd like to introduce you to Hans Meisenheimer. He'll be translating for us...
Roberts: "What did you say?"
MM: (looking in shock with his jaw dropped) "Uhhh....I expected you to be speaking German...."
Roberts: "What the hell are you talking about, Massey?"
(Massey stands speechless until finally Roberts shoves him out of the way and takes the microphone away from him while muttering under his breath) ......"Idiot."
Roberts: "Now that that little limpdick is out of my way, how about we get down to business? I had someone translate your little promo, Dragon Assassin. I don't know where the hell you get off stepping up into my world and running your mouth. I don't think a little do nothing piece of Japanese dog crap like you needs to be talking to me about being on crack. I speak the same language I've always spoken. I call it 'whip your punk ass for ten minutes and embarrass you in front of your mama-ish.' And if you're itching so badly to go to school, don't worry. Onslaught isn't too far away...."
"Now let's talk about this 'grand' oppurtunity you have in front of you. I guess they don't have newspapers in Japan. See, over here on this side of the pond where children are allowed to have lives and our people don't walk around with heads three times the size of their bodies due the radiation from getting their ASSES handed to them sixty years ago, I've made a hell of a name for myself not only beating people in the ring but maiming them.....crippling them....making them a shell of their former selves. So yeah, you've got a hell of an oppurtunity. A hell of an oppurtunity to get your ass shipped back to Japan in a pine box...."
"It's nice of you to want for me to bring my A-game, especially since my Z-game makes your A-game look like Mojo Massey high on too many antihistamines. I'm really happy for you that you put El Martyr on the shelf. Only problem with that is, I've never heard of El Martyr so I don't know why that should impress me. I might as well tell you I shook down the local elementary school playground and crippled some kindy-gartners...
"So here's what I'm gonna do. Instead of popping Ritalin, and instead of throwing out a French-English dictionary...since I don't speak either of those languages...I think I'll just amuse myself by making an example out of another of GXW's finest new rookies..On second thought, since none of them are available, I'll just make an example out of you instead. That's right dragon boy...at Onslaught it's gonna be sayonara for you, cuz no matter how big you are in Japan...."
"I'm gonna carve you into a big f**king plate of sushi...."
Roberts tosses the microphone down and walks offstage as we....
F2 Static....
B
BuffBellows
Guest
Duhhhhh...
Fade in.
We're backstage at the Odyssey Arena in Belfast. A few semi trucks can be seen in the background; GXW lackeys are busy unloading material from the trucks, preparing the set for an upcoming show. The camera pans over towards a clump of crates nearby, focusing specifically on a man seated on the nearest crate: It is Dragon Assassin, smiling rather broadly. His arms are folded over his chest.
"Someone's delusionaaaaaaaal," Dragon says in a sing-song voice. "Let me ask you a question, Roberts. Have you listened to yourself talk lately? Try it sometime. Tape yourself and play it back. You'll notice that you're speaking in gibberish. And don't even bother telling me that you're speaking whip-your-@ss-for-ten-minutes-in-front-of-your-mommaish. Believe me, I'm QUITE fluent in that language... and what you were speaking is NOT that language. It sounded more like 'whining-little-deranged-retardish' to me. Maybe that's why I had no idea what you said. Luckily, I managed to find a little translation."
"I suppose you think you're a tough guy 'cause your country bombed the sh*t out of mine in World War 2. Oooooh. How painful. I'm so hurt. Oh, wait... THAT WAS 60 F*CKING YEARS AGO!!! I wasn't even BORN back then!!! I'll admit I think it was pretty sh*tty of America to DO that, but what the F*CK does an event that happened in nineteen-f*cking-forty-five have at ALL to do with a match between you and me in the year two-K-three? Answer: Absolute D*CK. So dispense with the little history lesson and pay attention to what matters - and that, of course, is the whipping you're going to receive at Onslaught."
"And by all means, go ahead and pick on the preschoolers. I'm sure that you'll have your hands full trying to put them on the shelf. 'Cause, you know, them three-year-olds, they pack a mean punch, eh? But I'll tell you what. Once you're done molesting infants, by all means head down to the ring and try your act with me. I'll be more than happy to drop you on your neck and put you right up in that big ol' intensive care ward beside El Martyr, and the two of you can sit around with IVs stuck in your arms and lament f*cking around with the Dragon Assassin. I'll concede that Martyr DID suck... but then again, you're not exactly the God of Talent either. You're good, yes, but I recently realized something very important: I'M BETTER."
"By all means, TRY and make an example out of me. I dare you. I'm sure you'll succeed brilliantly. You'll be a shining example of how to get your face ripped off by the big-in-Japan, career-ending, high-flying little b*stard that I am. And THAT, Jeffie-san, is all there is to it."
"Catch you at Onslaught, pookie."
Fade out.
Fade in.
We're backstage at the Odyssey Arena in Belfast. A few semi trucks can be seen in the background; GXW lackeys are busy unloading material from the trucks, preparing the set for an upcoming show. The camera pans over towards a clump of crates nearby, focusing specifically on a man seated on the nearest crate: It is Dragon Assassin, smiling rather broadly. His arms are folded over his chest.
"Someone's delusionaaaaaaaal," Dragon says in a sing-song voice. "Let me ask you a question, Roberts. Have you listened to yourself talk lately? Try it sometime. Tape yourself and play it back. You'll notice that you're speaking in gibberish. And don't even bother telling me that you're speaking whip-your-@ss-for-ten-minutes-in-front-of-your-mommaish. Believe me, I'm QUITE fluent in that language... and what you were speaking is NOT that language. It sounded more like 'whining-little-deranged-retardish' to me. Maybe that's why I had no idea what you said. Luckily, I managed to find a little translation."
"I suppose you think you're a tough guy 'cause your country bombed the sh*t out of mine in World War 2. Oooooh. How painful. I'm so hurt. Oh, wait... THAT WAS 60 F*CKING YEARS AGO!!! I wasn't even BORN back then!!! I'll admit I think it was pretty sh*tty of America to DO that, but what the F*CK does an event that happened in nineteen-f*cking-forty-five have at ALL to do with a match between you and me in the year two-K-three? Answer: Absolute D*CK. So dispense with the little history lesson and pay attention to what matters - and that, of course, is the whipping you're going to receive at Onslaught."
"And by all means, go ahead and pick on the preschoolers. I'm sure that you'll have your hands full trying to put them on the shelf. 'Cause, you know, them three-year-olds, they pack a mean punch, eh? But I'll tell you what. Once you're done molesting infants, by all means head down to the ring and try your act with me. I'll be more than happy to drop you on your neck and put you right up in that big ol' intensive care ward beside El Martyr, and the two of you can sit around with IVs stuck in your arms and lament f*cking around with the Dragon Assassin. I'll concede that Martyr DID suck... but then again, you're not exactly the God of Talent either. You're good, yes, but I recently realized something very important: I'M BETTER."
"By all means, TRY and make an example out of me. I dare you. I'm sure you'll succeed brilliantly. You'll be a shining example of how to get your face ripped off by the big-in-Japan, career-ending, high-flying little b*stard that I am. And THAT, Jeffie-san, is all there is to it."
"Catch you at Onslaught, pookie."
Fade out.
El looooser
A black screen fades into a shot of Jeffrey Roberts along a long stretching beachfront. Several spanish-style houses can be seen dotting the shore in the distance, but Roberts sits motionless in the sand looking down at the grains as he picks up hands-ful and lets them fall between his fingers.....looking genuinely hurt and confused.
Roberts: "Eu sou confused. Eu sinto-o como.....like..........like bom. Eu não compreendo porque você é assim que viro-o. Eu venho para fora de aqui e falo em uma maneira totalmente civilized, discutindo os pros e os cons deste fósforo com você.....and eu tento ajudar-lhe para fora dando lhe alguns ponteiros e você começa ranting e raving. E que é o ponto de insultar minha língua? Eu sei-o sou extrangeiro a você, mas faço de nenhuma maneira que lhe fazem ' o retardish '. Eu sou muito pleased ver que o escritório dianteiro traduzido para você entretanto. São assim agradáveis, aqueles povos do escritório dianteiro. Esperançosamente serão assim que o tipo a respeito de faz do mesmo modo esta vez também."
Roberts gets an even more confused look on his face suddenly.
"Então lá a matéria de meu país está bombardeando seu sessenta anos há? Eu não era Portugal ciente fiz sempre tal coisa. Nós fomos sempre um país realmente calmo. Mas então, eu era nunca bom no history de meu país home assim que eu poderia ser confundido. Poderia você ter consultado ao ataque feito em você pelos americanos? Em todo o caso, digress de I."
"Eu sinto a necessidade explicar uma de minhas analogias de nossa conversação precedente. Aparentemente deslizou por você. Minha falha. Eu não devo ter estado suficientemente desobstruído. Eu penso de o que eu estava tentando dizer sou que você que bragging sobre aleijar o EL Martyr é como mim que bragging sobre bater acima das crianças pequenas. Isso não me significa bateu acima das crianças. É justo uma analogia. A é a B enquanto C é a D. Ver? Mas isso é aprovado. Não todos nós são bons nas coisas mais difíceis na vida. Espere, isso soado muito insultando em minha parte. Eu desculpo-me. Embora seja engraçado que você aleijou um homem que seja meios conhecidos ' o Martyr ' em meu espanhol da língua da irmã. Sua missão inteira em seus fósforos não seria começar-se matado? Nessa consideração que parece seu fósforo com ele estava uma falha. Você não poderia mesmo matar um homem que tenta ser matado. Oops!! Um outro insulto. Eu desculpo-me outra vez."
"Mas eu tenho que dirigir-se a sua afirmação que você é melhor do que mim. Eu devo implorar para diferir meu senhor bom, porque eu bati o mais grande e mais melhor nnestes companhia e você bateram ninguém. Porque, apenas alguns meses há eu fixei Gemini para a direita no centro do anel. Será o primeiro para dizê-lo que apenas não acontece todo o que frequentemente. E nosso contendor Chris Lehew.....I do número um bateu-o o ano passado para ganhar o título da tevê."
"Não há absolutamente nenhuma necessidade para seu vulgarity, dragon. Apesar do fato que eu não bato acima das crianças, muito bom PODE haver algum prestar atenção. Você necessita ser um exemplo brilhando à juventude de hoje. Mostre-lhes que há mais à vida do que a fruta incandescendo e meninas STD-sTD-infested do geisha. Dê-lhes a esperança que os milhões de outras crianças japonesas pequenas não têm. Dê-lhes a esperança de um amanhã onde possam governar o mundo economicamente e educacional no entanto não ser os bi**hes da prisão do Pacífico. Veja? Eu não tenho que ser rude fazer pontos simples. A configuração justa eles para fora succinctly e simples e seu ponto começará através da multa. Há justo nenhuma necessidade para o uncivility."
"Esteja apenas pronto para essa atitude para mudar quando nós batemos o anel........." (.....Roberts facial expression changes suddenly to a disturbing stare into the camera..) "......as coisas.....mudança...... pedem.....Chris Lehew...... pedem-lheo como feltro ter uma faca jagged escavada no seu..just da caixa... para escrever os yes' da palavra ' em resposta a sua pergunta........ ......(Roberts laughs, then his face goes back to a look of a happy smile)
"Oh, mas bastantes daqueles unpleasantries. Eu espero o descanso de seu dia encontro-o feliz e saudável, e eu ofereço-o dia bom. E recorde, de um coração limpo e uma boca limpa vem um espírito limpo..." (thumbs up)
Roberts turns to leave, muttering under his breath as his face returns to it's normal, more uneasy expression....... "torneira stupid que suga filho do caralho da mãe bastarda de uma cadela...." F2 Static
A black screen fades into a shot of Jeffrey Roberts along a long stretching beachfront. Several spanish-style houses can be seen dotting the shore in the distance, but Roberts sits motionless in the sand looking down at the grains as he picks up hands-ful and lets them fall between his fingers.....looking genuinely hurt and confused.
Roberts: "Eu sou confused. Eu sinto-o como.....like..........like bom. Eu não compreendo porque você é assim que viro-o. Eu venho para fora de aqui e falo em uma maneira totalmente civilized, discutindo os pros e os cons deste fósforo com você.....and eu tento ajudar-lhe para fora dando lhe alguns ponteiros e você começa ranting e raving. E que é o ponto de insultar minha língua? Eu sei-o sou extrangeiro a você, mas faço de nenhuma maneira que lhe fazem ' o retardish '. Eu sou muito pleased ver que o escritório dianteiro traduzido para você entretanto. São assim agradáveis, aqueles povos do escritório dianteiro. Esperançosamente serão assim que o tipo a respeito de faz do mesmo modo esta vez também."
Roberts gets an even more confused look on his face suddenly.
"Então lá a matéria de meu país está bombardeando seu sessenta anos há? Eu não era Portugal ciente fiz sempre tal coisa. Nós fomos sempre um país realmente calmo. Mas então, eu era nunca bom no history de meu país home assim que eu poderia ser confundido. Poderia você ter consultado ao ataque feito em você pelos americanos? Em todo o caso, digress de I."
"Eu sinto a necessidade explicar uma de minhas analogias de nossa conversação precedente. Aparentemente deslizou por você. Minha falha. Eu não devo ter estado suficientemente desobstruído. Eu penso de o que eu estava tentando dizer sou que você que bragging sobre aleijar o EL Martyr é como mim que bragging sobre bater acima das crianças pequenas. Isso não me significa bateu acima das crianças. É justo uma analogia. A é a B enquanto C é a D. Ver? Mas isso é aprovado. Não todos nós são bons nas coisas mais difíceis na vida. Espere, isso soado muito insultando em minha parte. Eu desculpo-me. Embora seja engraçado que você aleijou um homem que seja meios conhecidos ' o Martyr ' em meu espanhol da língua da irmã. Sua missão inteira em seus fósforos não seria começar-se matado? Nessa consideração que parece seu fósforo com ele estava uma falha. Você não poderia mesmo matar um homem que tenta ser matado. Oops!! Um outro insulto. Eu desculpo-me outra vez."
"Mas eu tenho que dirigir-se a sua afirmação que você é melhor do que mim. Eu devo implorar para diferir meu senhor bom, porque eu bati o mais grande e mais melhor nnestes companhia e você bateram ninguém. Porque, apenas alguns meses há eu fixei Gemini para a direita no centro do anel. Será o primeiro para dizê-lo que apenas não acontece todo o que frequentemente. E nosso contendor Chris Lehew.....I do número um bateu-o o ano passado para ganhar o título da tevê."
"Não há absolutamente nenhuma necessidade para seu vulgarity, dragon. Apesar do fato que eu não bato acima das crianças, muito bom PODE haver algum prestar atenção. Você necessita ser um exemplo brilhando à juventude de hoje. Mostre-lhes que há mais à vida do que a fruta incandescendo e meninas STD-sTD-infested do geisha. Dê-lhes a esperança que os milhões de outras crianças japonesas pequenas não têm. Dê-lhes a esperança de um amanhã onde possam governar o mundo economicamente e educacional no entanto não ser os bi**hes da prisão do Pacífico. Veja? Eu não tenho que ser rude fazer pontos simples. A configuração justa eles para fora succinctly e simples e seu ponto começará através da multa. Há justo nenhuma necessidade para o uncivility."
"Esteja apenas pronto para essa atitude para mudar quando nós batemos o anel........." (.....Roberts facial expression changes suddenly to a disturbing stare into the camera..) "......as coisas.....mudança...... pedem.....Chris Lehew...... pedem-lheo como feltro ter uma faca jagged escavada no seu..just da caixa... para escrever os yes' da palavra ' em resposta a sua pergunta........ ......(Roberts laughs, then his face goes back to a look of a happy smile)
"Oh, mas bastantes daqueles unpleasantries. Eu espero o descanso de seu dia encontro-o feliz e saudável, e eu ofereço-o dia bom. E recorde, de um coração limpo e uma boca limpa vem um espírito limpo..." (thumbs up)
Roberts turns to leave, muttering under his breath as his face returns to it's normal, more uneasy expression....... "torneira stupid que suga filho do caralho da mãe bastarda de uma cadela...." F2 Static
EZieba
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Front Office
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Feb-05-03 AT 11:26 AM (EST)]NOTE: Another translation brought to you by the GXW. Don't hate us .. thank us!
-----
A black screen fades into a shot of Jeffrey Roberts along a long stretching beachfront. Several spanish-style houses can be seen dotting the shore in the distance, but Roberts sits motionless in the sand looking down at the grains as he picks up hands-ful and lets them fall between his fingers.....looking genuinely hurt and confused.
Roberts: "I'm confused. I feel like.....like......well....like you. I don't understand why you're so upset. I come out here and talk in a totally civilized manner, discussing the pros and cons of this match with you.....and I try to help you out by giving you some pointers and you start ranting and raving. And what's the point of insulting my language? I know it's foreign to you, but by no means does that make it 'retardish'. I'm very pleased to see that the front office translated for you however. They're so nice, those front office folk. Hopefully they'll be so kind as to do likewise this time as well."
Roberts gets an even more confused look on his face suddenly.
"Then there's the matter of my country bombing yours sixty years ago? I wasn't aware Portugal ever did such a thing. We've always been a really peaceful country. But then, I was never good at the history of my home country so I could be mistaken. Could you have been referring to the attack made on you by the Americans? Anyway, I digress."
"I feel the need to explain one of my analogies from our previous conversation. Apparently it slipped by you. My fault. I must not have been sufficiently clear. I think what I was trying to say is that you bragging about crippling El Martyr is like me bragging about beating up little children. That doesn't mean I DID beat up children. It's just an analogy. A is to B as C is to D. See? But that's ok. Not all of us are good at the more difficult things in life. Wait, that sounded very insulting on my part. I do apologize. Although it's funny that you crippled a man who's name means 'The Martyr' in my sister language Spanish. Wouldn't his entire mission in his matches be to get himself killed? In that regard it seems your match with him was a failure. You couldn't even kill a man trying to be killed. Oops!! Another insult. I apologize again."
"But I do have to address your assertion that you are better than me. I must beg to differ my good sir, for I have beaten the biggest and best in this company and you have beaten no one. Why, just a few months ago I pinned Gemini right in the center of the ring. He'll be the first to tell you that just doesn't happen all that often. And our number one contender Chris Lehew.....I beat him last year to win the TV title."
"There's absolutely no need for your vulgarity, Dragon. Despite the fact that I don't beat up children, there very well MAY be some watching. You need to be a shining example to the youth of today. Show them that there's more to life than glowing fruit and STD-infested geisha girls. Give them the hope that millions of other little Japanese children don't have. Give them the hope of a tomorrow where they can rule the world economically and educationally and yet NOT be the prison bi**hes of the Pacific. See? I don't have to be rude to make simple points. Just lay them out succinctly and simple and your point will get across fine. There's just no need for uncivility."
"Just be ready for that attitude to change when we hit the ring........" .....Roberts facial expression changes suddenly to a disturbing stare into the camera.. ......things.....change......ask.....Chris Lehew......ask him how it felt to have a jagged knife dug into his chest.....just to write the word 'Yes' in response to his question........ ......(Roberts laughs, then his face goes back to a look of a happy smile)
"Oh, but enough of those unpleasantries. I hope the rest of your day finds you happy and healthy, and I bid you good day. And remember, from a clean heart and a clean mouth comes a clean spirit..." (thumbs up)
Roberts turns to leave, muttering under his breath as his face returns to it's normal, more uneasy expression....... "stupid c##k sucking b#####d mother ##### son of a #####...." F2 Static
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Feb-05-03 AT 11:26 AM (EST)]NOTE: Another translation brought to you by the GXW. Don't hate us .. thank us!
-----
A black screen fades into a shot of Jeffrey Roberts along a long stretching beachfront. Several spanish-style houses can be seen dotting the shore in the distance, but Roberts sits motionless in the sand looking down at the grains as he picks up hands-ful and lets them fall between his fingers.....looking genuinely hurt and confused.
Roberts: "I'm confused. I feel like.....like......well....like you. I don't understand why you're so upset. I come out here and talk in a totally civilized manner, discussing the pros and cons of this match with you.....and I try to help you out by giving you some pointers and you start ranting and raving. And what's the point of insulting my language? I know it's foreign to you, but by no means does that make it 'retardish'. I'm very pleased to see that the front office translated for you however. They're so nice, those front office folk. Hopefully they'll be so kind as to do likewise this time as well."
Roberts gets an even more confused look on his face suddenly.
"Then there's the matter of my country bombing yours sixty years ago? I wasn't aware Portugal ever did such a thing. We've always been a really peaceful country. But then, I was never good at the history of my home country so I could be mistaken. Could you have been referring to the attack made on you by the Americans? Anyway, I digress."
"I feel the need to explain one of my analogies from our previous conversation. Apparently it slipped by you. My fault. I must not have been sufficiently clear. I think what I was trying to say is that you bragging about crippling El Martyr is like me bragging about beating up little children. That doesn't mean I DID beat up children. It's just an analogy. A is to B as C is to D. See? But that's ok. Not all of us are good at the more difficult things in life. Wait, that sounded very insulting on my part. I do apologize. Although it's funny that you crippled a man who's name means 'The Martyr' in my sister language Spanish. Wouldn't his entire mission in his matches be to get himself killed? In that regard it seems your match with him was a failure. You couldn't even kill a man trying to be killed. Oops!! Another insult. I apologize again."
"But I do have to address your assertion that you are better than me. I must beg to differ my good sir, for I have beaten the biggest and best in this company and you have beaten no one. Why, just a few months ago I pinned Gemini right in the center of the ring. He'll be the first to tell you that just doesn't happen all that often. And our number one contender Chris Lehew.....I beat him last year to win the TV title."
"There's absolutely no need for your vulgarity, Dragon. Despite the fact that I don't beat up children, there very well MAY be some watching. You need to be a shining example to the youth of today. Show them that there's more to life than glowing fruit and STD-infested geisha girls. Give them the hope that millions of other little Japanese children don't have. Give them the hope of a tomorrow where they can rule the world economically and educationally and yet NOT be the prison bi**hes of the Pacific. See? I don't have to be rude to make simple points. Just lay them out succinctly and simple and your point will get across fine. There's just no need for uncivility."
"Just be ready for that attitude to change when we hit the ring........" .....Roberts facial expression changes suddenly to a disturbing stare into the camera.. ......things.....change......ask.....Chris Lehew......ask him how it felt to have a jagged knife dug into his chest.....just to write the word 'Yes' in response to his question........ ......(Roberts laughs, then his face goes back to a look of a happy smile)
"Oh, but enough of those unpleasantries. I hope the rest of your day finds you happy and healthy, and I bid you good day. And remember, from a clean heart and a clean mouth comes a clean spirit..." (thumbs up)
Roberts turns to leave, muttering under his breath as his face returns to it's normal, more uneasy expression....... "stupid c##k sucking b#####d mother ##### son of a #####...." F2 Static