Evan H.
DEF Director of Fun & Good Humor
I was going to drop this, but then Chris drops this masterpiece in my lap.
So... you can imagine the intense impulse to make this fucker a reality somewhere at some point.
Here's the top half of the bio so far. I'd love a kick ass indie flippy floppy kicky CHIKARA-y moveset for this dude if anyone is feeling especially generous.
Thoughts? Ideas? Additions? His finishers and signature moves totally have to be named after Nic Cage movies. Face-Off (impact finisher), Con Air or City of Angels (high flying), Bangkok Dangerous... etc.
Weeds a hell of a drug, folks.

So... you can imagine the intense impulse to make this fucker a reality somewhere at some point.
Here's the top half of the bio so far. I'd love a kick ass indie flippy floppy kicky CHIKARA-y moveset for this dude if anyone is feeling especially generous.
Ring Name: Nicolas Cage
Nicknames: The Wicker Man, The Ghost Rider, Clark Kent
Height: 6’0”
Weight: 196 lbs.
Theme Music: Main Theme from Superman: The Movie by John Williams
Hailing From: Las Vegas, Nevada
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Gimmick: One day a struggling young professional wrestler desperate to make his mark in the sport was dropped on his head in front of like seventy five people in some lame town in the midwest during a shit indie show he was getting paid far too little for. When he came around hours later propped in a broom closet with his forty bucks pinned to his tights this young man... now most probably suffering from an undiagnosed concussion... had an epiphany, right there amongst the Swiffers and brooms. After what can only be described as the most glorious montage of all time (too bad this isn't a visual medium, sucks to be you) this brain damaged young squire had printed what he now calls “his true face”... a mask. The most powerful mask in the world.
A mask with actor Nicolas Cage’s face on it.
http://youtu.be/xP1-oquwoL8
Suck that into your facehole, that’s a backstory motherfucker. Boom.
Thoughts? Ideas? Additions? His finishers and signature moves totally have to be named after Nic Cage movies. Face-Off (impact finisher), Con Air or City of Angels (high flying), Bangkok Dangerous... etc.
Weeds a hell of a drug, folks.
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