Sean Taylor
League Member
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2004
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- Kingston, Ontario
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Well it's that time again. Time for my favourite pay-per-view of the year - the Royal Rumble. I, after calling the winner of the Elimination Chamber 4 weeks in advance, am here to spoil the entire ppv for everyone and let you all know who is going to win. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Relax, they're just predictions. Vince hasn't sent me my copy of the script yet.
These are the officially scheduled matches as of 11:59 pm Monday, January 24, 2004:
Casket Match:
The Undertaker vs Hendenreich
Ok I don't watch SD much if at all so I can only go by the spoilers I've read and the bits and pieces that I have seen. Got a sneaking feeling that this one will not end cleanly. But let's face it, how many casket matches haven't ended without interference? The only thing I can't think of is who would interfere. For a winner, I'm going to go with Taker. It's against the odds, I know, considering his records in casket matches (hell, he lost to Goldust!!). But because of my later picks, I take Taker to close the lid on this show-filler feud.
Winner: Undertaker
Grudge Match:
Shawn Michaels vs Edge
Ah yes, the match that has been building off and on since Taboo Tuesday. Both are personal favourites of mine and even though this one should be an "up in the air" match, to me, the answer is simple. Before this match was announced, I thought that both HBK and Edge would eliminate each other from the Royal Rumble setting up a match for WrestleMania XXI. Then they made this match. That changed things around. I'll explain my choice later but for now....
Winner: "HBK" Shawn Michaels
WWE Championship Triple Threat Match:
John Bradshaw Layfield (c) vs Big Show vs Kurt Angle
A lot of people are thinking that the big man is going to walk out with the title. Now, the last pre-Rumble episode of SmackDown! hasn't happened yet so I'm also going to spoil that show for you as well. At the end of the show, Big Show will clear the ring and stand tall as Michelle Cole yells, "Big Show is ready for the Royal Rumble!!! But are Kurt Angle and WWE Champion JBL ready? We'll find out in four days at the Royal Rumble!!!" then the show will go off the air. Hate to burst your bubbles but JBL is THE MAN right now and will continue to be the man after this Sunday.
Winner: JBL
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match:
Triple H (c) vs Randy Orton
The WrestleMania match that everyone was salivating over is coming early this year and when "the granddaddy of them all" rolls around, I don't think either of these guys will be champion. Orton defeated Flair earlier tonight and held the title above his head as Raw went off the air. For those of you who haven't heard my rantings before, 90% of the time the guy who gets the last up before the PPV, loses at the PPV. Orton will not walk out champion. BUT don't you Triple H haters worry, your Pushed Too Soon Animal Savoir will make his stance against good ol' Trips during this match. But as a rule, never bet against the guy banging Steph between book tours, movie openings, and Kiss My Ass Club Board of Director Meetings. It's just not wise.
Winner: Triple H
Royal Rumble Match:
This is the match we all wait to see. No pee breaks, no leaving the room, and always yelling your friends when you think you know who's coming out next. There are a few favourites to win this year which is a good surprise considering how we all usually have some idea about who is guaranteed to win 3 weeks before the ppv itself (ie Rock, Stone Cold, HBK etc etc). Let's take a look at some of the 2:1 odds for Royal Rumble 2005.
John Cena - True he's the only guy left to challenge JBL one-on-one for the WWE Championship and YES this would set up a match at WrestleMania perfectly. But I hate to say it being the Cena fan that I am, but it's just not Cena's year. Why? 1) He's the US Champion and no existing champion has ever won the rumble. 2) Well... check out the following blurb.
Any other SmackDown! entrant - Won't happen. Take a look at the star caliber of the guys SD is putting into the Rumble. Scotty 2 Hotty? Rey? Jindrak? Sorry, the line up from Raw is much more star studded. I know, I know Raw is more star studded anyways, but hey as they say in da 'ood, "D'ems da breaks". Raw has the winner this year, not SmackDown. SD wrestlers won the last two Rumbles and they pointed that exact fact out on Raw with Taz and Michelle Cole. This year is Raw's turn. I know a lot of you are probably crying out "What about Eddie?" Reality check. Eddie's time in the spotlight has passed like a Taco Bell dinner through Moh. And no, he doesn't have to go to Watertown to get that Taco Bell either. (,,,,,,,,,,,,)
HBK - No, sorry Matt, he's not going to chock up a third win this year. Besides, he doesn't need it.
Kane - Has been impressive before in Rumbles past but it's not going to happen.
Gene Snitsky - See Kane minus the past - obviously.
Chris Jericho & Chris Benoit - All of the wrestling traditionalists are just waiting for Jericho or Benoit to come from out of nowhere and reclaim the gold for the glory of mat technicians and natural talents of yore. Once again, these guys' time has passed. Maybe Jericho can squeeze one out before he retires but that's only if Trips dies a bloody death in a horrible plane crash and the other passengers have to eat his remains to stay alive waiting for help. The days of innate talent being the major factor in how well a wrestler does in his career are long over. Wake up. Why do you think AJ Styles is still pimping his act in TNA instead of in the big league WWE? Well that and his mic skills suck harder than Jenna Jameson working overtime.
Sorry got on a tangent there. My bad, my bad. Don't worry I'm sure I'll be treated to an AJ defense sooner or later. Back to the picks.
Ric Flair - No.
Batista - "Batisita's going to win the Rumble", "Batista's going to face Triple H at WrestleMania". Sound familiar? Yeah thought so. Isn't it great when the answer is just that easy. However, Batista will not win the Rumble. Why? It's too obvious. The Internet has been buzzing about Batista being the last man standing in the ring after all 30 men have entered and the WWE knows it. Batista will be in the final four and will probably be the last man eliminated. Who will eliminate him?
Edge - Here is the money pick. Ever since Taboo Tuesday, Edge has come to within inches of winning the title before it gets ripped from his hands. He's been the only one to focus on winning the World Title for the last 2-3 months now without losing focus to current storyline feuds. It's always been "I'll beat (opponent du jour) AND THEN win the WWE World Title". Want more proof Edge is going to take it? Ok, how about Shawn Michaels coming out and telling Edge that instead of crying and whining for a shot, that maybe Edge should try to EARN a title shot. A challenge to earn a title shot 2 weeks before the Royal Rumble? Hmmmm. Oh and did it strike anyone else that Edge was the only Raw entrant to get interview time to cut a promo strictly about winning the Rumble? I caught it. Whatever happens after Rumble, I don't know. But my money's on Edge. Any takers?
Winner: Edge
I welcome (with some reserves) your thoughts........
These are the officially scheduled matches as of 11:59 pm Monday, January 24, 2004:
Casket Match:
The Undertaker vs Hendenreich
Ok I don't watch SD much if at all so I can only go by the spoilers I've read and the bits and pieces that I have seen. Got a sneaking feeling that this one will not end cleanly. But let's face it, how many casket matches haven't ended without interference? The only thing I can't think of is who would interfere. For a winner, I'm going to go with Taker. It's against the odds, I know, considering his records in casket matches (hell, he lost to Goldust!!). But because of my later picks, I take Taker to close the lid on this show-filler feud.
Winner: Undertaker
Grudge Match:
Shawn Michaels vs Edge
Ah yes, the match that has been building off and on since Taboo Tuesday. Both are personal favourites of mine and even though this one should be an "up in the air" match, to me, the answer is simple. Before this match was announced, I thought that both HBK and Edge would eliminate each other from the Royal Rumble setting up a match for WrestleMania XXI. Then they made this match. That changed things around. I'll explain my choice later but for now....
Winner: "HBK" Shawn Michaels
WWE Championship Triple Threat Match:
John Bradshaw Layfield (c) vs Big Show vs Kurt Angle
A lot of people are thinking that the big man is going to walk out with the title. Now, the last pre-Rumble episode of SmackDown! hasn't happened yet so I'm also going to spoil that show for you as well. At the end of the show, Big Show will clear the ring and stand tall as Michelle Cole yells, "Big Show is ready for the Royal Rumble!!! But are Kurt Angle and WWE Champion JBL ready? We'll find out in four days at the Royal Rumble!!!" then the show will go off the air. Hate to burst your bubbles but JBL is THE MAN right now and will continue to be the man after this Sunday.
Winner: JBL
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match:
Triple H (c) vs Randy Orton
The WrestleMania match that everyone was salivating over is coming early this year and when "the granddaddy of them all" rolls around, I don't think either of these guys will be champion. Orton defeated Flair earlier tonight and held the title above his head as Raw went off the air. For those of you who haven't heard my rantings before, 90% of the time the guy who gets the last up before the PPV, loses at the PPV. Orton will not walk out champion. BUT don't you Triple H haters worry, your Pushed Too Soon Animal Savoir will make his stance against good ol' Trips during this match. But as a rule, never bet against the guy banging Steph between book tours, movie openings, and Kiss My Ass Club Board of Director Meetings. It's just not wise.
Winner: Triple H
Royal Rumble Match:
This is the match we all wait to see. No pee breaks, no leaving the room, and always yelling your friends when you think you know who's coming out next. There are a few favourites to win this year which is a good surprise considering how we all usually have some idea about who is guaranteed to win 3 weeks before the ppv itself (ie Rock, Stone Cold, HBK etc etc). Let's take a look at some of the 2:1 odds for Royal Rumble 2005.
John Cena - True he's the only guy left to challenge JBL one-on-one for the WWE Championship and YES this would set up a match at WrestleMania perfectly. But I hate to say it being the Cena fan that I am, but it's just not Cena's year. Why? 1) He's the US Champion and no existing champion has ever won the rumble. 2) Well... check out the following blurb.
Any other SmackDown! entrant - Won't happen. Take a look at the star caliber of the guys SD is putting into the Rumble. Scotty 2 Hotty? Rey? Jindrak? Sorry, the line up from Raw is much more star studded. I know, I know Raw is more star studded anyways, but hey as they say in da 'ood, "D'ems da breaks". Raw has the winner this year, not SmackDown. SD wrestlers won the last two Rumbles and they pointed that exact fact out on Raw with Taz and Michelle Cole. This year is Raw's turn. I know a lot of you are probably crying out "What about Eddie?" Reality check. Eddie's time in the spotlight has passed like a Taco Bell dinner through Moh. And no, he doesn't have to go to Watertown to get that Taco Bell either. (,,,,,,,,,,,,)
HBK - No, sorry Matt, he's not going to chock up a third win this year. Besides, he doesn't need it.
Kane - Has been impressive before in Rumbles past but it's not going to happen.
Gene Snitsky - See Kane minus the past - obviously.
Chris Jericho & Chris Benoit - All of the wrestling traditionalists are just waiting for Jericho or Benoit to come from out of nowhere and reclaim the gold for the glory of mat technicians and natural talents of yore. Once again, these guys' time has passed. Maybe Jericho can squeeze one out before he retires but that's only if Trips dies a bloody death in a horrible plane crash and the other passengers have to eat his remains to stay alive waiting for help. The days of innate talent being the major factor in how well a wrestler does in his career are long over. Wake up. Why do you think AJ Styles is still pimping his act in TNA instead of in the big league WWE? Well that and his mic skills suck harder than Jenna Jameson working overtime.
Sorry got on a tangent there. My bad, my bad. Don't worry I'm sure I'll be treated to an AJ defense sooner or later. Back to the picks.
Ric Flair - No.
Batista - "Batisita's going to win the Rumble", "Batista's going to face Triple H at WrestleMania". Sound familiar? Yeah thought so. Isn't it great when the answer is just that easy. However, Batista will not win the Rumble. Why? It's too obvious. The Internet has been buzzing about Batista being the last man standing in the ring after all 30 men have entered and the WWE knows it. Batista will be in the final four and will probably be the last man eliminated. Who will eliminate him?
Edge - Here is the money pick. Ever since Taboo Tuesday, Edge has come to within inches of winning the title before it gets ripped from his hands. He's been the only one to focus on winning the World Title for the last 2-3 months now without losing focus to current storyline feuds. It's always been "I'll beat (opponent du jour) AND THEN win the WWE World Title". Want more proof Edge is going to take it? Ok, how about Shawn Michaels coming out and telling Edge that instead of crying and whining for a shot, that maybe Edge should try to EARN a title shot. A challenge to earn a title shot 2 weeks before the Royal Rumble? Hmmmm. Oh and did it strike anyone else that Edge was the only Raw entrant to get interview time to cut a promo strictly about winning the Rumble? I caught it. Whatever happens after Rumble, I don't know. But my money's on Edge. Any takers?
Winner: Edge
I welcome (with some reserves) your thoughts........