TheDamnGame
League Member
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2010
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We fade in on a shi*ty apartment somewhere in Japan. This apartment is the temporary home to one of the sickest men to ever grace a wrestling ring. Riddick. Riddick has been gone from action for a long long time. And today is a huge day for him. Ever since he got the call from Joey Clerk to come to the IL. Riddick has left his new profession as a courtesy to Joey. He left the life of a hired assassin to once again do what he loves the most. Talk s*it, win championships and f*cking maim people! Today is huge for many reasons. Today is the day before the initial Lessons In Bloodshed television debut for the IL. Today is also when Riddick comes out of hiding to hold a press conference and then next week a scheduled "shoot" interview with none other than the same lady who held Riddick's famous "shoot" interview in the Shootclub Wrestling Alliance. That woman's name is Alexis Clerk. We fade in on Riddick as the cameraman enters his bedroom and we see Riddick for the first time since 2008. Riddick is just waking up...
Riddick: F*ck me... it's really today already isn't it? Hey, what the f*ck are you doing here cupcake?
Cameraman: I here to make sure you get interview on time!
Riddick: (In a mocking Oriental sounding voice) Would you like some flied lice with that? I make sure you sucky sucked long time. No tiki no f*cking wash! WILL YOU SHUT THE F*CK UP? I know what f*cking day it is, tard-nuts! Joey didn't need to send some glorified f*cking fish cleaner down here to come get me. I know what I need to do.
Riddicks about to backhand the camera man when suddenly his phone goes off!
Riddick: Hang on Wasabi, I need to take this. Hello? Yes, Joey? Yes, why did you send some go.. ok.. yes. I got it. You want me down there now to prepare for my press conference? But that's not in three f*cking hours! And I'm going to wing it, just like I always do. Yes, I know they'll ask me that. ... and yes I have an answer for them. I'm just going to tell them the f*cking truth Joey. No I'm not going to mention that! You think I have a f*cking death wish? Ok, they're on their way to get me? Got it, I'll be downstairs waiting! I'll see you there.
Riddick hangs up and turns and looks at the cameraman, shaking his head.
Riddick: Come on Corky. We gotta bail. Joey's sending a limo and we're going to be headed down to the press conference for preparations. Not like I need being prepped. I've been doing this s*it for years. Come on kid let's go.
We fast forward two hours later!
The press conference is about to take place. Reporters from all over Japan have gathered to hear what Riddick has to say in his first public appearance since August of 2008. Riddick has been prepped. Which pretty much means he's had a few beers and talked a lot of smack to hapless conference room workers. Finally, after a long wait. We are ready. Joey Clerk steps up to the podium and we're about to get under way.
Joey Clerk: Well we're finally here. The night before Lessons In Bloodshed. We're here because for the first time in over a year and a half. A single man, one who helped me make RSW what it was for so long is finally making his return to the ring this Tuesday. That man has been a world champion in the promotion known as the SWA on two seperate occasions. He is a master of the deathmatch, and one of the rudest mother f*ckers you'll ever meet. Here is the one and only, Riddick!
Riddick comes out to a loud chorus of cheers and yes, more than a few boos can be heard by the audience as they remember full well the things that Riddick is capable of. Riddick begins by making an opening statement.
Riddick: It's been a long time f*ckers. But I'm back, back in Jap-Land. Back doing the thing I love the most. And that's hurting people. Now I've been gone a long long time. And there's quite a few things I will be addressing in the upcoming weeks. What I've been doing in my absence. Who I've been doing. The things I've seen and why I'm here. However now is my time. Tomorrow night I'm facing a man who I don't even know who the f*ck he is. Matter of fact the only thing I do know about him is that he was part of one of those gay MMA feds. One of those federations where they lay on top of one another and hump for about forty five minutes. Yeah, where the have the mounted guard position, missionary position, one guys manhood in another's ass position. It's about the gayest form of fighting in history, not to mention boring as f*ck.
Many, many boos from the fans in attendance. Many of them are Marx fans even if it is just for this one match.
Riddick: Yeah yeah, boo me. Like I give a damn. While most of you were sitting at home stuffing your rice filled cheeks full of more rice and raw fish. I was jet setting around the world turning other human beings into pudding! If I were you people I'd shut the f*ck up before I come out there and skullf*ck one of you into a coma, the likes of which even Michael Jackson would be proud of!
More boos. Riddick's back, we know this for sure. Then suddenly the boos speak when a reporter jumps up and fires the first obvious question that comes to mind.
Reporter: Riddick, Riddick! Now we know you a sick human being. We know very well the things you capable of doing to another man, another woman, and another human being in general. What a lot of us in Japan want to know is this. What exactly happened in RSW. What exactly happened with the SWA? RSW no longer exist, everything you worked with and for, gone. Now what exactly do you expect to do here in new league, in new federation?
Riddick: Wa wa wa wow! (Once again in mocking asian accent) You ask more than one question. Well I'll give you answer! F*CK THE SWA! You want to know what happened? I'll divulge more next week in my interview with Alexis Clerk. However, I will tell you all this. The minds, and creative "influences" behind the SWA. Could not handle it when I outed the truth about how things were run there. Nothing more, and nothing less. I spoke from my mind and my heart. And I got f*cked for it. Their "enforcer" of the rules over there. For lack of a better term. I just call him a whiny p*ssy who has a few extra keystrokes that he can use for commands. Let's just say he got his panties all bunched up and his opinions mixed up and confused the things I said in an interview for reality. Instead of bringing his washed up, broken down, syphillis having legend out of retirement to try to shut me up. He decided to ban me from the SWA for eternity. My manager tried to apologize, but to no avail. The tampon was just shoved too far up in his womb to talk about it like adults and that was that.
A few cheers at Riddicks disparaging remarks towards the board of the SWA. Many of the fans here in Japan have walked away from the SWA since the closing of RSW. For good reason. RSW was League Of The Year in back to back years. The first promotion in the history of the SWA to have ever done that. And they are mad at the fact the SWA had to close up shop here in Japan.
Riddick: Now as far as what I want to accomplish here in the IL and all over. The answer to that is simple enough. I want to become the first ever IL Tsunawohoru Champion! I want to become World Heavyweight Champion. I want to march my manhood down your wifes throat, sir. I want to maim some f*ck like I did Cindy Todd so long ago that marked not only the turning point in her career, but the turning point in her entire f*cking life! Oh yeah. I still tune in over there. I've seen in what regards she holds me. I want to do that to someone over here. Someone who through pain, and a sacrifice of blood, can see things the way I f*cking see them. Will it be Marx? I doubt it. He's spent too much time on his back getting mounted by other men to see things from the way I see them. Now if I were a part of the gay PRIDE or Ultimate Fag Championship, then maybe we'd share common viewpoints. But we do not. He will be my first casuality.
Reporter: But Riddick. Marx is very dangerous man. Have you been in training preparing to face the likes of him. You may not know what you're up against?
Riddick: Know what I'm up against? What? A f*cking glorified McClerk who spent most of his life flipping burgers and licking up his own sweat like some kind of shut in mouthbreather? Before suddenly one day he decided "Oh I want to train and fight and get mounted by other men with bulging jock cups!" Who gives a s*it? I could train by jerking off all day while watching old Alicia Silverstone movies, and still get up in the morning and beat his ass. It'd be like beating down Hotshot Sean Diamond back in the old school days. This match will be nothing for me. Next?
Another reporter pipes up.
Reporter #2: What do you think the competition will be like here in the IL? Do you think it'll be that easy for you?
Riddick: Of course it will be. Why in the f*ck shouldn't it be? I'm a former World Champion. I've done more to other human beings than you have done to your own blood relation following your rise to puberty! Tomorrow night, will be no different. I'm back, and that's that.
Riddick walks off as the crowd boos him unmercifully. While what he said against the SWA might be somewhat popular in Japan. The rest of what he feels about his opposition tomorrow and the people of Japan are pretty much the same as a year and a half ago. Riddick's back. However he is underestimating the skill of his opponent tomorrow night. Marx is very well accomplished. It should be a hell of a fight. We fade from here as Joey Clerk takes the podium to bid everyone a good night.
Riddick: F*ck me... it's really today already isn't it? Hey, what the f*ck are you doing here cupcake?
Cameraman: I here to make sure you get interview on time!
Riddick: (In a mocking Oriental sounding voice) Would you like some flied lice with that? I make sure you sucky sucked long time. No tiki no f*cking wash! WILL YOU SHUT THE F*CK UP? I know what f*cking day it is, tard-nuts! Joey didn't need to send some glorified f*cking fish cleaner down here to come get me. I know what I need to do.
Riddicks about to backhand the camera man when suddenly his phone goes off!
Riddick: Hang on Wasabi, I need to take this. Hello? Yes, Joey? Yes, why did you send some go.. ok.. yes. I got it. You want me down there now to prepare for my press conference? But that's not in three f*cking hours! And I'm going to wing it, just like I always do. Yes, I know they'll ask me that. ... and yes I have an answer for them. I'm just going to tell them the f*cking truth Joey. No I'm not going to mention that! You think I have a f*cking death wish? Ok, they're on their way to get me? Got it, I'll be downstairs waiting! I'll see you there.
Riddick hangs up and turns and looks at the cameraman, shaking his head.
Riddick: Come on Corky. We gotta bail. Joey's sending a limo and we're going to be headed down to the press conference for preparations. Not like I need being prepped. I've been doing this s*it for years. Come on kid let's go.
We fast forward two hours later!
The press conference is about to take place. Reporters from all over Japan have gathered to hear what Riddick has to say in his first public appearance since August of 2008. Riddick has been prepped. Which pretty much means he's had a few beers and talked a lot of smack to hapless conference room workers. Finally, after a long wait. We are ready. Joey Clerk steps up to the podium and we're about to get under way.
Joey Clerk: Well we're finally here. The night before Lessons In Bloodshed. We're here because for the first time in over a year and a half. A single man, one who helped me make RSW what it was for so long is finally making his return to the ring this Tuesday. That man has been a world champion in the promotion known as the SWA on two seperate occasions. He is a master of the deathmatch, and one of the rudest mother f*ckers you'll ever meet. Here is the one and only, Riddick!
Riddick comes out to a loud chorus of cheers and yes, more than a few boos can be heard by the audience as they remember full well the things that Riddick is capable of. Riddick begins by making an opening statement.
Riddick: It's been a long time f*ckers. But I'm back, back in Jap-Land. Back doing the thing I love the most. And that's hurting people. Now I've been gone a long long time. And there's quite a few things I will be addressing in the upcoming weeks. What I've been doing in my absence. Who I've been doing. The things I've seen and why I'm here. However now is my time. Tomorrow night I'm facing a man who I don't even know who the f*ck he is. Matter of fact the only thing I do know about him is that he was part of one of those gay MMA feds. One of those federations where they lay on top of one another and hump for about forty five minutes. Yeah, where the have the mounted guard position, missionary position, one guys manhood in another's ass position. It's about the gayest form of fighting in history, not to mention boring as f*ck.
Many, many boos from the fans in attendance. Many of them are Marx fans even if it is just for this one match.
Riddick: Yeah yeah, boo me. Like I give a damn. While most of you were sitting at home stuffing your rice filled cheeks full of more rice and raw fish. I was jet setting around the world turning other human beings into pudding! If I were you people I'd shut the f*ck up before I come out there and skullf*ck one of you into a coma, the likes of which even Michael Jackson would be proud of!
More boos. Riddick's back, we know this for sure. Then suddenly the boos speak when a reporter jumps up and fires the first obvious question that comes to mind.
Reporter: Riddick, Riddick! Now we know you a sick human being. We know very well the things you capable of doing to another man, another woman, and another human being in general. What a lot of us in Japan want to know is this. What exactly happened in RSW. What exactly happened with the SWA? RSW no longer exist, everything you worked with and for, gone. Now what exactly do you expect to do here in new league, in new federation?
Riddick: Wa wa wa wow! (Once again in mocking asian accent) You ask more than one question. Well I'll give you answer! F*CK THE SWA! You want to know what happened? I'll divulge more next week in my interview with Alexis Clerk. However, I will tell you all this. The minds, and creative "influences" behind the SWA. Could not handle it when I outed the truth about how things were run there. Nothing more, and nothing less. I spoke from my mind and my heart. And I got f*cked for it. Their "enforcer" of the rules over there. For lack of a better term. I just call him a whiny p*ssy who has a few extra keystrokes that he can use for commands. Let's just say he got his panties all bunched up and his opinions mixed up and confused the things I said in an interview for reality. Instead of bringing his washed up, broken down, syphillis having legend out of retirement to try to shut me up. He decided to ban me from the SWA for eternity. My manager tried to apologize, but to no avail. The tampon was just shoved too far up in his womb to talk about it like adults and that was that.
A few cheers at Riddicks disparaging remarks towards the board of the SWA. Many of the fans here in Japan have walked away from the SWA since the closing of RSW. For good reason. RSW was League Of The Year in back to back years. The first promotion in the history of the SWA to have ever done that. And they are mad at the fact the SWA had to close up shop here in Japan.
Riddick: Now as far as what I want to accomplish here in the IL and all over. The answer to that is simple enough. I want to become the first ever IL Tsunawohoru Champion! I want to become World Heavyweight Champion. I want to march my manhood down your wifes throat, sir. I want to maim some f*ck like I did Cindy Todd so long ago that marked not only the turning point in her career, but the turning point in her entire f*cking life! Oh yeah. I still tune in over there. I've seen in what regards she holds me. I want to do that to someone over here. Someone who through pain, and a sacrifice of blood, can see things the way I f*cking see them. Will it be Marx? I doubt it. He's spent too much time on his back getting mounted by other men to see things from the way I see them. Now if I were a part of the gay PRIDE or Ultimate Fag Championship, then maybe we'd share common viewpoints. But we do not. He will be my first casuality.
Reporter: But Riddick. Marx is very dangerous man. Have you been in training preparing to face the likes of him. You may not know what you're up against?
Riddick: Know what I'm up against? What? A f*cking glorified McClerk who spent most of his life flipping burgers and licking up his own sweat like some kind of shut in mouthbreather? Before suddenly one day he decided "Oh I want to train and fight and get mounted by other men with bulging jock cups!" Who gives a s*it? I could train by jerking off all day while watching old Alicia Silverstone movies, and still get up in the morning and beat his ass. It'd be like beating down Hotshot Sean Diamond back in the old school days. This match will be nothing for me. Next?
Another reporter pipes up.
Reporter #2: What do you think the competition will be like here in the IL? Do you think it'll be that easy for you?
Riddick: Of course it will be. Why in the f*ck shouldn't it be? I'm a former World Champion. I've done more to other human beings than you have done to your own blood relation following your rise to puberty! Tomorrow night, will be no different. I'm back, and that's that.
Riddick walks off as the crowd boos him unmercifully. While what he said against the SWA might be somewhat popular in Japan. The rest of what he feels about his opposition tomorrow and the people of Japan are pretty much the same as a year and a half ago. Riddick's back. However he is underestimating the skill of his opponent tomorrow night. Marx is very well accomplished. It should be a hell of a fight. We fade from here as Joey Clerk takes the podium to bid everyone a good night.