Irishred vs. Jimmy Donovan

[thegr817deuce]

This match will be fought under Hardcore rules!

The RP deadline will be Saturday, December 2nd at 11:59 PM EST.

 

[irishred]

Well Jimmy you whore loving, cowboy boot wearing, drawl speaking, ignorant son of a *****. How have you been?

I haven't seen you since LVW, the company that was put right on your inbred shoulders and promptly went to crap and folded. You sir are truly a magic man. It's rare that a whole company folds thanks to the idiocy of one man; but you Jimmy Donovan are not just any normal man are you?

Well hell no hoss. You're a whore riding cowboy from a family tree with no branches. Making a clusterf*ck of things is generational for you.

Now...compare your little title reign in LVW to mine here in UCW. I held the belt and made UCW the company that everyone wanted to compete in. Because of me people like Joey Melton, the Sarge, Mr. Incredible and all those MCW leeches showed up. They wanted to compete with the best. They wanted to have the chance to step into the ring with the most dominant champion in wrestling. I took a start up federation and not only made it successful I made the damn place thrive.

Now MY title has been taken from me.

Big ****ing mistake. I will not stop destroying everyone in this federation until what is rightfully mine is back around my waist. I will not stop attacking people backstage until Cloverleaf says uncle. I will not stop destroying careers until I have my way.

You're in the wrong place at the wrong time Jimmy D. You've stepped into a situation that your simple little country mind has no chance of comprehending. I'm going to spill your blood all over the UCW ring. I'm going to make an example of you. I'm going to use your broken carcass to show everyone on the roster that you either stand with Irishred; or you get beaten half to death.

Do yourself a favor Jimmy, step aside. Live to fight another day. This doesn't involve you. My battle is not with you...not until you make it so.

 

[TH]

The scene is on a UCW soundstage. "Cowboy" Jimmy Donovan is standing by with a UCW microphone, dressed in jeans, a leather cowboy vest with no shirt underneath, a bola tie, cowboy boots, a ten gallon hat and the LVW World Championship around his waist.

CJD: Y'know somethin', IrishRed, it usually is that when someone's tellin' his opponent that his battle ain't wit' him, it's cuz he's yellerer than the pee that gets sprayed on me durin' a golden shower. That's why I was done confuzzled when I heard you tryin' t'get me t'walk away from this match here. Yer supposedly this tough, onery bastard, the meanest sonuvab*tch in this entire industry. Yet here you is, tryin' t'get Jimmy Donovan t'go away like someone who's supposed t'be scared a' ya. Well, I dunno whut yer tryin' t'do here, but it ain't workin'. Cowboy Jimmy Donovan fears no man, woman or animal, cept fer them rattlesnakes. One time, one almost bit my nutsac, an' I been scurred ever since. An' cuz a' that, I ain't never gone back to the Mojave Desert room in the Bunny Ranch since. That's 'sides the point though.

Now Red, ya come out here an' start flappin' yer gums about how yer gon' cause all this death an' destruction fer everyone else 'cept lil' ol' me now. Whut makes me so special? Like I done said before, it cain't be 'cause yer scared a' me. Or maybe yer scared a' what a real Champion like myself is gon' do t'ya in the ring. Maybe yer 'fraid that yer gon' look foolish by the hand a' someone who done never lost his title through bein' pinned or made t'submit.

Now it all makes sense. Ya tellin' me that this battle ain't wit me is yer way of makin' sure that ya stay all mean an' nasty in the eyes a' erryone else ya done attacked or are gonna' attack in some way this week. If'n I back down an' accept yer terms a' peace, then no one'll have t'see ya lose to a dead fed's Champion. It's a simple intimidation technique, an' yer tryin' t'transfer fear unto me by lyin' t'yerself. Gettin' outta this fight is somethin' that'll give ya peace a' mind, at least fer the time bein'. I got all that from this on a' the girls up at the Bunny Ranch who's just moonlightin' as a whore t'pay fer her Masters in psychology. Ain't that somethin'?

Y'know what else is somethin', Red? Yer lil' plan ain't gon' work. Y'see, ya can say that I was the reason LVW went down like a hooker on the first a' the month, but er'ryone knows that ain't true. I ain't no fed killer. In fact, I heard that Mr. Dones done had some problems wit' his books, which is why Mandalay Bay done terminated the lease we had wit' 'em... awww dangit, Red, you done made me act all ungentlemanly an' air dirty laundry. I'm gon' have t'make ya pay extra fer that.

Comin' up at Revolution, Red, ya ain't gon' make no one's career go away, an' I reckon the only blood that's gon' be spilled is yours. That's cuz come Revolution, Red, this Cowboy's gon' show you how a real Champion rolls.

Jimmy pats his belt.

CJD: YEEEEEEEHAWWWW!!

Fade to the UCW logo.

 

[irishred]

Huh?

I'm not sure what the hell you just said. I mean I'm proud of my redneck roots boy but what the hell was that language you were just speaking. Seriously. Help me out.

Anyone?

Bueller?

Anyone?

No. OK then. I'm just going to assume that you disagreed with everything I said. So how do I rebut that?

I could go with the classic "I know you are but what am I?" but really I think that Cruise has the juvenile comeback market cornered.

Of course you disagree with what I have to say. If you didn't what would be the point of fighting? Right. I mean if you agreed with all I have to say you'd have walked away from this fight.

I hope you didn't take my friendly advice to you to walk away from this as an insult by the way. I mean there were so many better insults in there. I was just giving you an option. You have stepped into the middle of a war Jimmy. You've stepped into a war where i am piling up casualties quicker then the body count in Iraq. UCW as a whole can't stop me. What chance do you have?

You don't have a chance Jimmy. You don't even have a prayer. This is way beyond you. This is bigger then you even have a chance of being. I have declared war son. This is bigger the the Hatfields and McCoy's. This is bigger then you and your daddy fighting over your sisters hymen.

You are the next in line to feel the raw anger and hatred of Irishred. Don't be ashamed though. Dan Ryan, Joey Melton, Frankie Scott...the list is just going to get longer and longer until I get my property back. I'm going to destroy all of you one at a time. There's not a damn thing any of you can or will do about it.

See you in the ring cowboy. It's time for your last ride.

 

[TH]

"Aww shucks."

Soundstage again. Same deal as before.

CJD: Dangit Red, you know whut gets me steamed? Folks who try an' say that what I done do is wrong an' then go and do the same things. I gots so many folks up my ass fer what I likes t'do in my free time with whores an' nightwalkers, yet they done do the same thing. Some of 'em don't even go to women hookers. They done like men an' transgenders. That's some sick sh*t thar.

Now, before y'all start tryin' t'tell me that you ain't the kinda person who done goes to hookers, try an' get it through yer dense head that this ain't no literal comparison. See, ya try an' tell me that I went and said "I know ya is but what am I?" Then, ya go around an' do the same thing. I says I do have a chance, an' ya say that I don't. Ya think this is some kinda war that I ain't ready t'handle, an' 'cuz why? Cuz I ain't been in this business as long as ya been? So I admit, all that time I done spent in the clink and in Vegas outta the business cuz a my love fer hookers was all my fault. But son, that don't mean that I ain't in no condition to be in a war.

Y'all wanna talk 'bout war? Let's talk 'bout how I won this [pats the LVW Championship belt]. More than 60 minutes in the ring with three other 'rasslers, an' I outlasted all of 'em. It wasn't no cake walk neither. I done got my ass whupped thoroughly, an' I still had enough t'take 'em all out. I had everythin' imaginable thrown at me when I was thar in LVW. I had hardcore matches, I seen hookers dear t'me sawed in half right before my eyes. I been assaulted wit' piani wire an' cracked wit' chairs. Y'all think that you cain't hang wit' ya got these issues, cuz ya done attacked guys like Danny Ryan and Frankie Scott while they wasn't lookin'.

Well, I gots one big difference over them folk. I will be lookin'. I will be payin' attention. I will definitely done have my eyes on you like a Japanese tourist has his eyes done fixed on a hooker's brown eye while layin' under a glass table. I'll be prepared, an' there ain't nothin' ya can say that'll indicate otherwise, Red.

Come Revolution Red, yer right, thar is gon' be a war. But t'ain't a war that y'all are gonna win. An' afterwards, well, I normally would offer t'pay fer yer hooker, but cuz ya had t'be all idiotic an' stuff, I ain't gonna bother.

Fade.