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Hennig Memorial: Mike McGee vs. Andre Eian

andreshadow

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
18
Points
0
Location
SLC Salt Lake City
How shall we start off today? Dark bar? Lively restaurant? Independet federation show? Hurm. Hard choice. I think I'll go with a different one...

"The Shadow" Andre Eian is a tall man, built and hansome (not that I'm an expert). In his current state of being, he is wearing black jeans and a black T-Shirt. His dark hair is pulled back in a ponytail. He is wearing a leather jacket. He looks to the camera while he places his keys in his pocket. The setting seems to be a nice suburban home in Anytown, USA. He smiles at the camera.


[font color=red]Ah, good. The WFW crew showed up. No interviewer? Do I have to do this on my own?[/font]

The camera bobs up and down in reply.

[font color=red]Alright, then. Come with me.[/font]

He steps out of his door, closes it, and locks it. He walks toward his garage, which is 20 or 30 feet behind his house. He pushes a button on his keychain, and the door opens. Inside the 2 car garage sits a black Toyota Supra, and a mystery car covered with a white cover. He presses yet another button, and the Supra beeps and flashes. He motions to the passenger side, and steps into the car. The camera follows, seating itself (or himself) in the passenger seat.

[font color=red]I'm sorry for the lack of space. Supra's are for speed and looks, not passengers.[/font]

He pops the key into the ignition and throws the car into reverse. He bcks out of the driveway, hitting the Garage Close button on the remote above his head. He turns onto the street, and they're off.

[font color=red]So, you're probably all wondering who I am. Well, I doubt you've heard of me, though I have been around for a while. I was in WAR in Japan, which is probably what you're most likely to remember me from. Good company, though they did tend to stray into the hardcore and garbage section of things. I had to carry around a barbed wire bat for a while just for protection.[/font]

He chuckles at his reccolection.

[font color=red]But I digress. We are here to talk about the WFW, aren't we? Well, I certainly am glad to be here. Too many times have I been in worthless garbae federation, where the goal is not to wrestle, but to survive. The WFW seems to be a nice change of pace. With my technical training background, I do beleive I should do fine here. But once again, I digress. I am slated to fight "Middle Management" Mike McGee in a few weeks at the Curt "Mr. Perfect" Hennig Memorial show in New York, New York. To tell you the truth, I don't know what to expect. I have neither seen, nor heard of, Mike McGee, so I don't know how to prepare. Why don't you show me, Mikey boy. I'm curious to see what I'll be up against. Though I'm sure I can handle you, I still want to see how badly I'll beat you. Now, don't mistake my confidence for cockyness. I am all business in the ring, as you should be, as well. Though I guess we'll see.[/font]

He pauses at a red light.

[font color=red]So, you must be equally curious about myself. Well, not too many people do know me. It is often a rare pleasure for people to get inside my head, as it is usually locked from outside interference, so to speak. In general, I am your typical orthodox wrestler, mixed with the typical technical background and stormy childhood. Nothing too out-of-the-ordinary, really. So, Mikey boy, expect a challenge, in the least.[/font]

Silence...

[font color=red]Well, in all honesty, that is all I have to say. Since this federation is new, I have nothing to comment upon the other wrestlers, so I'll leave it at that. I'll drop you off..[/font]

Before the cameraman can react, his door pops open, and Eian pushes the camera, topling the cameraman head over heels out of the car onto the curb. "The Shadow" laughs as he steps on the gas, and the car shoots up the street...

[font color=red] -| Ferdig |-[/font]
 
G

Greggulator

Guest
Another Boring Wrestler Promo

(CUT TO: "Mr. Middle Management" Mike McGee, sitting on the edge of a desk that is in front of a WFW banner. McGee is wearing his BluBlocker glasses, a collared shirt with matching tie, pleated slacks. His arms are folded, with one arm holding a WFW coffee mug.)

MCGEE: Well, Shadow-- in your introductory promo, as mandated by the WFW Office Staff, you have made claim to, and I quote, not know me. That already proves to the world what an ignorant man you are, as everyone involved with the great WFW should already be familiar with myself.

For the past year, I have been gainfully employed here in the WFW's Human Resources Department, immediately hired after I graduated with a Corporate Communication degree from a state university. I have worked hard to set up 401K accounts, ensuring that all our staff and personnel have signed various rights and waivers in triplicate. Yes, Mr. Eian-- I am the one who has left SEVERAL messages on your answering machine to ensure that you return your 1040 form in due time, which you have yet to do so, making our tax filing procedures THAT much more difficult. But that does not separate you from any other wrestler in this promotion-- all of whom, apparently, were never taught how to read, let alone the finer intricacies of Interpersonal Communication.

Shadow, you have spent the past few years busy carrying the bags of more established wrestlers in a minor league promotion in Japan, losing in opening-card matches to guys who no one has ever heard of, learning to cut promos that run WAY too long and overbudget considering that they are not in our television studios-- which is where our esteemed Board of Directors would prefer you cut your interview segments at.

While you were busy doing that, I was going through the files of potential roster members here and I realized something-- I realized that no wrestler could get a 540 Verbal on the GRE, that no wrestler alive was as smart as me. So I spent my spare time in the WFW Head Office Gymnasium, honing my body (McGee flexes his non-coffe-mug holding arm) to superior physical condition, and studying the files of all our potential roster members for strengths and weaknesses.

Shadow, while you may pretend to be a mysterious figure, there is a lot that I know about you. I have access to your social security number, your address, your mother's maiden name. I'm not afraid of you physically, Shadow-- but you should be afraid of me, mentally. With one click of a computer button, I can take away your dental insurance option. AND THEN WHO SHALL PAY FOR YOUR DAUGHTER'S ROTTED, CRUSTED TEETH TO BE REPAIRED?

Let's face facts, Shadow. You are just another atypical, illiterate slob who has entered a wrestling ring. I have a higher I.Q. than you and I have a bachelor's degree from an accredited university. Even if by some miracle you do defeat me at our matchup... I will still be able to have a better resume than you, ensuring that I will *ALWAYS* have a higher salary than you. And because of my stellar reputation in the HR Office, the Board of Directors will continue to give me promotion after promotion... making me infinitely more important than you. Shadow, I demand that you do the RIGHT thing and not even show up for our match at the Curt Hennig Memorial. Because if you do, I am going to discipline you in the ring before I punish you out of it. That's a DIRECT COMMAND from me... YOUR SUPERIOR in (sips coffee) MIDDLE MANAGEMENT! (FTB)
 

andreshadow

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
18
Points
0
Location
SLC Salt Lake City
RE: Another Boring Wrestler Promo

Fade in. Well, now, Mr. McGee. So, we're in "The Shadow's" office. He has his feet up on his desk. He laughs loudly.

[font color=red]Well, Mikey Boy, those are some strong words. Now, while you may pride yourself in "having an IQ higher than mine", you still do not see that IQ means absolute chicken**** in the ring.[/font]

He stops for a second.

[font color=red]Oh, I'm sorry. Have I insulted you with my sub-par vocabulary yet? Aren't you gonna cry, piss and moan about your IQ some more? Please, I need a good laugh. You see, Mikey Boy, I'm not intimidated by intelligence. Hell, my brother has a higher IQ than I do. Do I care? Honestly, man, do you see even a shred of consternation on my face? No? Didn't think so.

Now, as an honorary professor of Norwegian in the US and a proffessor of English in Norway, I can assure you I know my stuff. I honestly don't give a flying bag of crap about your intelligence, your salary, your degree or your reputation. I'm here to "kick your ass", as many a cliche wrestler has said. Now, as a veteran of quite a few years, I can honestly say that I don't need your 401 K. I have plenty. I honestly don't need a higher salary than you. You know why? Because I've done this for long enough that I have endorsement deals for cereal coming in. Oh and as for my tax form, I'll let H&R Block handle it.

As for my answering machine, I'm way too busy to answer messages from some supercilious little prick in the PR office of the place I work. While this may score me minus points with the front-office staff, I honestly don't care. I'm here to wrestle and to entertain, not to lick the boots of some middle management egoist on a power trip.

I assure you, Mikey boy, that I am in no way disheartened by your ramblings of physical prowess. I am confident in my physical stamina and skill. I've trained under some of the best technical wrestlers in the world. Now, while I normaly would bother to tell you whom, I'm guessing you already know that, don't you? Hey, aren't you supposed to know everything? Apparently, you know that I have a daughter. Good job. Guess what? She's 9 months old. So I doubt "rotting teeth" is any problem for her.

So, Mikey boy. Bored yet? Apparently, My promos are entirely too long. Well, guess what? They'll only get longer. As I get to know the staff and wrestlers of this wonderful little federation, I assure you that you'll see much more of me in the near future. Ta ta now, and don't pop a vein in that well-informed head of yours. I wouldn't want to fight you at any less than 100%...[/font]

He smiles, and the camera fades.
 
G

Greggulator

Guest
Docked Pay

(CUT TO: McGee, in the office. He's holding his coffee, smug as ev)

McGee: I've had to deal with a lot of prospective roster members of this great promotion. I've had to deal with a lot of people from the lower classes coming to me, asking me how to sign their name and what-not. But never before have I seen someone as pathetic as you, Shadow.

First, let me comment to you about your apparant lack of public speaking skills. Now, I know that someone as unwashed as yourself would not know how to properly address a camera. I, however, am an expert in that field-- having graduated with honors in Corporate Communication from a state university two years ago. As such, I have worked LONG and HARD to craft a PowerPoint presentation for my fellow roster members that addresses the finer points of speaking in front of people. I have sent out repeated e-mails and text messages regarding this to our entire roster. Shadow-- you yourself have admitted that you have a low I.Q. You yourself have admitted to me that you are unable to handle a simple task such as speaking in public. You yourself have admitted that your average promo length runs WELL past the 4 minutes and 24 seconds that we here at the Head Office suggest, due to your inability to string together a coherent, cognizant thought.

Shadow-- we here at the head office don't WANT to punish you. We'd like to WORK with you, Shadow. We see quite a bit of marketability in you. However, until you learn to appreciate all that WE can do for you, we will not work to increase your endorsement deals. Despite what you claim, Shadow, I've SEEN your tax files. I know exactly how much you make through endorsements. Frankly, no one has ever heard of you-- especially not in your native Norway.

Now, Shadow-- I want you to understand that we here in the head office want this promotion to have a family atmosphere. As such, we have several suggestions for your career here. First-- we'd like for you to come into the office so myself and a few R&D reps can work on your image. We'll get you out of your tattered, Salvation Army wardrobe. And then me and you personally will go over ways to effectively and pro-actively speak to the public. Of course, this might mean that to show me you are willing to learn you have to work for us in the home office. I'll have you know, I like my coffee black with two sugars and I expect it as SOON as you come into the office.

If you do not follow our lead, Shadow-- you can expect a procedure report to be filed that may result in the docking of pay or eventual termination. And, Shadow-- you might ALSO have one of your limbs broken in a wrestling ring-- a public humiliation that your own mentally retarded daughter might be able to watch when she's old enough to realize how pathetic her father is. Shadow-- you know what to do. And that's a direct order from me... (sips coffee) your superior in middle management! (FTB)
 

andreshadow

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
18
Points
0
Location
SLC Salt Lake City
RE: Docked Pay

Cut to...Wait, that's your schtick. Well, we fade to The Shadow sitting in a comfy chair. He is wearing a red silk robe. In his hand is a glass of wine. His long hair is pulled back. He smiles.

[font color=red]Well, Mr. McGee, once again I am plagued by your incessant chatter. I grow weary of your monophonic repine. I can assure you that neither I nor the rest of the roster cares even a tiny bit about your 401k plans and your W-2 forms. So please, Mikey boy, just leave it alone. And for some reason, you just seem to have way to much time on your hands. Do you ever leave the office? Go outside? Walk the dog? Hell, do you ever have sex? Now, I don't mean pry into what you do in your spare time, but these are some big questions.

And again, Mikey boy, you reduce yourself to gasconading about your intelligence. Well, Mikey, I've looked through history, and have found that the most brilliant men usually have their perversions. John Nash was bisexual. Mao Zedong was a pedophile. You seem to have quite a fixation on my daughter. I'm not one to imply things, but this seems to be quite the unhealthy fixation by my observation.

Oh, and when did I admit to not beign able to speak in public? Or is this just another one of your word games that you like to play in your spare time while looking at Swedish nudists on the internet?

Speaking of time, you once again point out that I use too much of it. Well, guess what, my friend? Never put an idea in my head. Just for that, I'm going to waste even more time. While this may be misconstrued as being immature, I assure you my intentions are pure.[/font]

He smiles and grabs a remote. He pushes a button. Pink Floyd's "Have a Cigar" plays.

....
Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar. You're gonna go far, fly high,
You're never gonna die, you're gonna make it if you try;they're gonna love you.
Well I've always had a deep respect, and I mean that most sincerely.
The band is just fantastic, that is really what I think.Oh by the way, which one's Pink?
And did we tell you the name of the game, boy
we call it Riding the Gravy Train.

We're just knocked out.
We heard about the sell out.
You gotta get an album out,
You owe it to the people. We're so happy we can hardly count.
Everybody else is just green, have you seen the chart?
It's a helluva start, it could be made into a monsterif we all pull together as a team.
And did we tell you the name of the game, boy
we call it Riding the Gravy Train
...
5 minutes and 8 seconds later...


[font color=red]I hope I haven't wasted too much time there, Mikey boy. I wouldn't want to face a pay cut...[/font]

The camera fades to black.

[font color=red]-| Ferdig |-[/font]
 
G

Greggulator

Guest
PowerPoint Presentation: Why I Am Your First Champion

(CUT TO: "Mr. Middle Management" Mike McGee's office. McGee, wearing gold-framed BluBlocker glasses, a white collar/pink-bodied dress shirt, tie, slacks-- stands arms-crossed with a laptop in front of him and a projector next to him. A projection screen is behind him.)

MCGEE: I'm glad to see that you could all accept the invitation that I e-forwarded to everyone. (McGee clicks on the mouse. The screen behind him now reads SYNERGY!) Our launch efforts have been tremendous and we are well on our way of meeting both our brand and our mission statement, according to the data that has been provided to our Board of Directors by our marketing team. On top of that, we here at Human Resources are happy to announce that all of our divisions-- New Media, IT, R&D, Creative, Management-- are also working towards one of our highest goals, and that is companywide synergy. And we will achieve that mission.

(McGee hits the mouse button. A shot of the WFW title is shown on the projection screen, with the words I AM YOUR FIRST CHAMPION superimposed over the belt.)

What will also be achieved is my reign as this promotion's first-ever World Champion. I have scoured our roster and have discovered weaknesses in all of them-- weaknesses that can and WILL be exploited by myself in the ring. I was a wrestling champion while in college-- a college experience that also allowed me to graduate with a bachelor's degree in Corporate Communication with a minor in marketing. But first, I must concentrate on defeating my first opponent-- a man who calls himself The Shadow.

(McGee his the mouse button. A picture of The Shadow's last promo piece is on the screen. On the top part of the screen, reads WHY I WILL BEAT HIM. McGee hits the button again. A * appears and next to it reads SUPERIOR INTELLIGENCE.)

Shadow, I can tell already that I am a smarter man than you. In fact, I can tell already that I am probably the smartest man in this sport-- as I don't know any other wrestlers that have my skills in Interpersonal Communication or my background in Management Information Systems. You yourself have also come out here and publicly statedd that you have a low I.Q. While analyzing your promo pieces, I have noted that you use a lot of big words. Shadow, while you may have a vocabulary that is better than, say, Mike Manson's, I would still wager that you could not get a higher score on the GRE Verbal Section than the 540 I achieved this past November if and when I decide to apply to grad school to pursue my master's degree in Professional Organization.

Now, you have said that I.Q. does not matter in the wrestling ring. Shadow, that already proves that I am in your head already, as you pathetically try to psyche yourself up to defeat me. Intelligence DOES matter in the ring. Your stupidity and ignorance will cause your failure, Shadow. I will dupe you and trick you in the ring, countering your manuevers and ultimately breaking your spirit as you recieve The Pink Slip. And then you will know that your background-- homeless, begging hard-working Middle Management figures such as myself for money-- will come back to haunt you. And then you will realize that you need to learn from those above you in the corporate hierarchy to rise above your meager station in life. But don't worry, Shadow-- we may have a position for you right here in the Human Resources Office where you can be my coffee boy.

(McGee hits the mouse button again. A * comes up and next to it reads SUPERIOR BODY/PHYSICAL STRENGTH.)

Shadow, I hav eseen your statistics and your body type from your promo. On top of being mentally more prepared than you, I am also physically superior to you as well. During my lunch breaks and my time after, I have done nothing but focusing and training to be the best that I can in the squared circle, putting in hours upon hours in the WFW's Office Gym-- much like my preparation and organization has allowed me to get W-9 and 1040 forms filed WAY in advance of the deadline day, which will give me bonus points come my annual review. I have also made sure that I have eaten wisely in the company cafeteria, eating a well-balanced and nutritious diet and also succesfully petitioning for weight-gaining shakes to be made available during the 10:45 break.

You can see the fruits of my labor through my expensively priced Brooks Brother shirt (McGee laughs and flexes his bicep), I am a well-built, well-honed machine of a man. Not only will I out-smart you, but I will out-muscle you and make you understand that to be a World Champion, you have to put in the time and the efforts that I have.

(McGee clicks on the mouse button again. It now reads * YOU'RE A BAD FATHER. McGee now speaks with a hint of contemplation in his voice.)

I can't help but think that you must be distracted, Shadow. I've gone through your paperwork and have noticed that despite you being a foreign worker you have not filed in your W-9 form nor have you subscribed to our lucrative 401K or profit sharing plans. You also have not included your daughter in our dental, medical or life insurance plan. This leads me to believe that you have been overburdened by the new experiences of being a new father, thus being distracted from our match, tipping the odds even further into my favor.

Shadow-- take some advice from me. Since your daughter is unable to read or walk yet, I'm thinking that her disabilities are clearly incapable for a man with your admittedly low I.Q. to solve. Why, I saw a movie last year entitled I Am Sam where a man such as yourself had a daughter that had to be raised by much wiser, wealthier parents in order to ensure that she had a better life. Shadow-- instead of wrestling, perhaps you should be considering giving your daughter up for adoption? If you want, I can contact some social welfare groups through the Human Resources office to get the ball rolling for a new and better life for her-- since you obviously can't provide even the basic necessities for her.

(McGee now hits the mouse button again. This time, a vision of his triumphant-looking face is on the screen. Superimposed over it are the words TOTAL VICTORY!)

Shadow, you are just the first victim on my path towards being the WFW's first World Champion-- a man that the Board of Directors can both effectively market and promote to further enhance our brand and create synergy in this promotion. Or, you can go about things the easy way and the smart way. You can forfeit our match and not even show up to the card. That's a word of advice from me... your superior in middle management! (FTB)
 

andreshadow

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
18
Points
0
Location
SLC Salt Lake City
Degrees are marginal...

Well, here we are agian. The Shadow is sitting in a comfy chair, clad in black leather from head to toe. An off-screen fire flickers lightly. The flames reflect in his mirrored sunglasses. His hair is as usual tied back in a ponytail. In his right hand is a glass of wine. In his left, a baseball bat. He sips the wine, smiles, and laughs.

[font color=red]Mike, Mike, Mike. You know, I expected so much more than you. You dissapoint me intensely with your pedomorphic "I can beat you up because I say so" prattle. Indeed, Mike, you are so childish that I would wage you've never done anything else. Hell, I bet you're a virgin. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Now don't get me wrong, Mikey boy. I'm not attacking your manhood. That would be an infantile thing to do. Instead of pulling a McGee-ike "My biceps are bigger than yours" stunt, I'll just ask you why you're so sure. Even the best of athletes fail. Michael Johnson pulled a hamstring in a big foot race. He was in the lead, but he lost because of it. Even Gary Kasparov has lost the occasional chess match. You cannot expect, Mikey boy, that your "incredible intelligence" and degree in "Interpersonal Communications" will save you forever. One of these days, Mikey, something will come back and bite you in the ass. I'm not saying it's me, but I'm saying that Fate is a cruel mistress. I don't know. Maybe you've been lucky so far, and have never witnessed how hard Fate can turn on you. You cannot trust your life and everything itself on secular bases. Eventually, your lack of faith will bring Fate back to haunt you, and when it does, I'll be there to laugh in your prudish little face. Your intelligence intimidates no man. Your "Pink Slip" intimidates no man. Your forms intimidate no man. Your degree intimidates no man. Deep down, the "stupid people" know they're stupid. That keeps them from being intimidated by the likes of you. I've met some pretty stupid people, Mikey boy, and none of them have been intimidated by my intelligence, so why should hey be intimidated by yours? Your mindless and superioristic chatter doesn't slow them down at all. As the saying goes, Mikey boy, "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but Words will never hurt me". The truly self confident don't allow your perpetual rhetoric to daunt them in the least. If you don't beleive it yourself, ask them. You may be able to talk them to sleep, but not intimidate them.

Again, my friend, I must ask you why you resort to this baseless "I'm better than you" tomfoolery. You cannot prove your "superiority" on the fact that I apparently don't pay for my childs insurance. Check again, Mikey boy. If you would have checked hard enough, you would have found that my daughter is ensured by Lloyds of London. Do you really think a respectable father would trust the life of his little baby to some hole-in-the-wall company-based insurance corporation? How thick are you? Oh, yeah, I forgot. You're a virgin, and have no children. And even if you did, your endless hours at the office basically cements you as a worse father than I am.

Again, my narcisistic friend, you stroke your own ego with the notion that you will be the first World Champion of this wonderful little promotion. Have you ever wondered, perhaps, about the other people? Surely, an autocratic little prick like you couldn't be the best in the federation. I'm sure that even if you are by some practical joke a better wrestler than I am that there is someone in this federation who could kick your ass, and be glad doing it. Now, more power to you for having self-confidence, but even that fails eventually. You cannot always trust your abilities, as I stated before. But hey, there's no convincing you, right? You're the best wrestler in the world! Or at least you are, until someone smarter, bigger and better comes along. Think about it, Mikey boy. Think about it real hard...[/font]

The Shadow smiles and sips his wine. The screen fades to black...
 

andreshadow

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
18
Points
0
Location
SLC Salt Lake City
Ah, the golden silence..

We fade in, as usual. The Shadow is sitting in a comfy chair on a set of some kind. He is wearing black jeans and a white T-Shirt. Across from him is a short, bald man with glasses. This seems to be some form of interview show. The short man, called Patrick McShane, introduces us to this show.

[font color=blue]Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Wrestling Viewpoint, New Englands, uh, Third biggest wrestling promotional show. I'm Pat McShane. Today, I'm here with "The Shadow" Andre Eian, who has recently signed a contract with World's Finest Wrestling, or the WFW. Now, Mr. Eian, what have you been up to lately?[/font]

The Shadow smiles.

[font color=red]Well, as perhaps a few of you indy and Puroresu followers know, I've spent a great deal of time in Japan, wrestling small, undercard matches for New Japan and such. I spent a little time here and there. I recently wrestled a 2 year anniversary show for small promotion called the MCW. Other than that, not much is happening.[/font]

The interviewer feigns interest, as does The Shadow.

[font color=blue]How is it to be back in the states after such an extensive Japanese tour?[/font]

[font color=red]It's not bad. I've got a steady job now, which is more than I can say for most Japanese independent wrestlers.[/font]

Once again, Feigned interest on the part of the interviewer.Shadow picks up a glass on the table next to him and takes a sip of what looks to be orange juice.

[font color=blue]What are your goals in the WFW?[/font]

The Shadow sighs.

[font color=red]You know, I really hate that question. Everyone expects me to say something like "I just want to prove myself", or "I'm in it to better myself". Well, to tell you the truth, I want the title. Everyone does. I want the title, and I want to make a bit of money in the hunt for it. Is there really anything wrong with that?[/font]

[font color=blue]What about your first opponent, Mike McGee?[/font]

The Shadow smiles again.

[font color=red]That sorry excuse for a human being? I'll beat him.[/font]

McShane raises an eyebrow.

[font color=blue]That confident, huh?[/font]

Shadow nods his head. McShane looks almost dissapointed. Confident he can dig deep and bring out some dirt, he continues.

[font color=blue]Well, you know, a lot of people truly think you'll get beaten. Not just beaten, but savagely so. What do you think of that?[/font]

The Shadow shrugs.

[font color=red] Meh. So what? They're them, and I'm me. I know what I can do better than they do.[/font]

Mcshane looks a bit miffed that he can't seem to get a reaction from this guy.

[font color=blue]Well, I personally think Mike McGee will whip your ass. In fact, I'm betting on it.[/font]

The Shadow looks puzzled at McShane. McShane stands, even further angried by the fact that he cant get any sort of reaction rom this guy.

[font color=blue]and you know what? You're wife is an ugly *****!![/font]

The Shadow looks even more puzzled now. He is still seated. He takes a sip of water.

[font color=red]Strong words coming from a pudgy-ass bastard like yourself.[/font]

McShane throws down his clipboard and storms out, beet red. Shadow looks at the camera.

[font color=red]What's eating him?[/font]

He squints. He smiles, and goes on.

[font color=red]Join Pudge McShane next week, when he speacks to "Sick" Nick---[/font]

He stops.

[font color=red]Aw, Christ. You're gonna have that on the show? That isn't even wrestling! That's voluntary mutilation! I mean, what sort of ignorant clodhopper hits people with lightbulbs...[/font]

He goes on as a jingle plays. The camera zooms out, and we fade to black...
 
G

Greggulator

Guest
PowerPoint Presentation: Protein Shakes

(CUT TO: "Mr. Middle Management" Mike McGee, wearing gold-framed BluBlocker glasses, bi-colored dress shirt, tie, slacks, is standing in front of a cash register as WFW employees walk past, holding cafeteria trays. McGee also has his laptop computer and screen)

MCGEE: First, allow me to thank everyone for attending my last PowerPoint presentation, entitled "Total Victory." Everyone at Human Resources wanted to thank you all for your attendance. I hope you all got our e-Appreciation card in your Microsoft Office Inbox as a token of our gratitude.

(McGee clicks on the computer mouse. The screen behind him has a picture of a wrestling ring. Over the ring, on top, it now reads *MEDIA BRANDING.)

Today, I have decided to spend my time out of the office to do a "remote" promo piece here in the cafeteria. Our esteemed Board of Directors has preached since day one the concept of synergy for our fledgling promotion-- bringing in all groups and units, from New Media to Research and Development and all points in-between, to pro-actively think outside of the box in order to bring to you, the viewer, a brand that you will be able to identify with, thus attracting more viewers and more advertising revenue.

(McGee clicks the mouse. The screen now adds on-- *MISSION STATEMENT.)

But on top of promoting our company's mission statement, I am also out here today to once again discuss why I am the superior being to not just the one called The Shadow, but to all the independent contractors out there who file the "occupation" slot on their tax returns as Professional Wrestler. I have talked at length before, using the skills I accrued as a Corporate Communication major while wrestling for a state university, about my superior intelligence and physical abilities. (McGee clicks the mouse. It now reads *PRO-ACTIVE THOUGHT PROCESSES and in italics underneath THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX!)I have also talked at length about this company's plan to be pro-active and to think outside of the box. I have also talked about synergy. Today, I will show you all a combination of the above-stated corporate planks and how it will lead me to achieve great success here in the WFW. Pedro, come here with my protein shake! Pronto!

(From off-screen, a small Mexican man in a janitor's uniform walks up holding a styrofoam cup. McGee snatches the cup from him and starts sipping.)

Initially, our office cafeteria here at headquarters did not have much to offer in terms of providing access to a well-balanced and nutritious meal. After a review of staff employees, I decided to research who exactly was responsible for such a poor choice of food items. And I found out who it was-- our dining hall operator Pedro here! Isn't that right, Pedro? (Pedro answers SI.) Now, after talking to him about his decision, I made him see the error of his ways. To make it up to us, Pedro not only now operates our kitchen, but he has also volunteered to be our office's custodian. What do you have to say about that, Pedro? (Pedro says something in Spanish, with his head bowed.) Good. Now get out of here and clean the waste bin from my office or else I'll dock your pay! (Pedro runs off. Mcgee clicks on the mouse again. It now reads *PROTEIN SOURCE.)

On top of correcting a potential office problem, I also saved our promotion valuble financial resources that can better be used elsewhere. In addition, I also forced Pedro to install a Protein Power Health Shake machine here at the cafeteria. Now, not only do these Protein Power Health Shakes taste great-- (McGee sips) ahhhhh-- but they also allow myself an invaluble opportunity to gain more complex carbohydrates to burn while I am doing my strenuous workout routine in the Corporate Gym or for my sparring rituals later that night.

(McGee hits the button. A picture of his face comes up. Over his face it now reads *SMARTEST MAN IN WRESTLING. *STRONGEST MAN IN WRESTLING.)

That's the type of outside-the-box thinking that allows me to have an advantage over all of my competitors. My first opponent, The Shadow, may have wrestled in some ultraviolent promotions in Japan. He may be a so-called "indie legend" who gave it his all in front of 45 people in East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania. But what he has not done is proven to me that he has the necessary skills to go BEYOND what is expected of a wrestler today, that he has the requisite attributes that would make him not just a solid in-ring performer, but someone who is capable of being a torchbearer of synergy and a marketable face for our promotion's branding opportunities. Let's face facts-- the public at-large would rather see a college graduate, MBA candidate, corporate go-to wix, and amateur wrestling phenom as its champion, and not some unwashed, unread, formerly homeless alcoholic with a poor vocabulary who can't even raise his daughter propoerly.

(McGee hits the mouse button again. A picture of the WFW title is on the screen. Over it reads *TOTAL VICTORY.)

Yes. Total victory shall be mine. That's a command from me-- your superior in middle management! (McGee chugs the power shake. FTB.)
 

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