Guerra Interminable: Wells Speaks, Intro, Lonestar Stumps

[PaulNJ21]

(Backstage Black Rose is standing with the B.A.D World Heavyweight Champion, Jared Wells. Jared is wearing a full Armani suit, clean shaved with the B.A.D World title over his shoulder)

BLACK ROSE: I'm standing backstage with the B.A.D World Heavyweight Champion, Jared Wells. Jared, tonight you go one on one in a non title match with Maelstrom. The history between you two is endless. But yet this is your first time facing him.

JARED WELLS: 'historia voluntad ocurrir esta noche.

BLACK ROSE: Please translate that?

JARED WELLS: It means history will happen tonight. Without the noise, without the violence, without jNice, there would be no controversy around here. I live it, and I breath it. I welcome Maelstrom to this fun filled party of L.O.V.E. Just like Copycat, Iron Lion, Scotty Michaels, Shawn Hart, and others....you'll just be another name that vanishes into thin air. Put aside L.O.V.E and the Inner Circle. One guy represents everything you would want to be in this business. Maelstrom the so called peoples champion to many all over the world. He's done it all just about. Then there is me. The (BLEEP) bastard son of this business. Yeah I did the same things you did Maelstrom. But when that guy Rage 'o Fire was trying really hard to get to the top I had people like you shake your head and say, well no. But who cares about yesterday, lets talk about now. Maelstrom I am the B.A.D World Heavyweight Champion. I don't give a damn what I have to do. People come up to me and say Jared, are you willing to go to hell with Maelstrom. And I say I've already been there. It's my time, I paid my dues and I'll be damned if I let some over rated (BLEEP) take over this wonderful ride of chaos. Maelstrom, you shouldn't have stuck your finger in the cookie jar. You've been caught.

BLACK ROSE: What about the rest of the Inner Circle?

JARED WELLS: (BLEEP) 'em.

BLACK ROSE: Christian Sands?

JARED WELLS: (BLEEP) him. Complete tool.

BLACK ROSE: Former CSWA Champion, Dan Ryan.

JARED WELLS: Fallen to pieces. (BLEEP) him.

BLACK ROSE: Lindsay Troy.

JARED WELLS: (BLEEP) (BLEEP) tease. Already (BLEEP) her. Always down on her knees begging me please.

BLACK ROSE: Maelstrom.

JARED WELLS: He (BLEEP) himself. 'ol Dirty Bastard Jared Wells has got something special in store for him. This war has just begun. I said there would be two coffins, one for Maelstrom and one for myself.....I'm willing to take it that far.

(Jared begins to stare into space without a blink as his face quivers with anger)

JARED WELLS: B.A.D rules. jNice's rules. It's going to go that far Black Rose.....I'm sorry it has to go that far.

(Jared just walks off the set without any final words)

(BROADCAST BOOTH)

BRANDON JACOBS: Welcome everyone to Guerra Interminable, our first show live from Arena Mexico in the heart of Mexico City where this never ending war is continuing…

JONATHAN MARX: Wells is foaming at the mouth for his shot at Maelstrom, he wants to slay Maelstrom like he has slain a host of other monsters since he has won the BAD World Heavyweight Title that people have said he couldn’t over come, but Maelstrom is going to bring his A Game for his WFW debut tonight and as hot as Wells has been, he may be biting off a bit more than he can handle.

VIC WATERS: You know, as much as I am a fan of Jared Wells, I would have agreed with you a week or so ago, that getting past Maelstrom tonight would be impossible…. But if the Red Sox can win four straight against the Yankees and go on to win the World Series, anything can happen.

BRANDON JACOBS: Having witnessed intensity of Maelstrom’s matches against Marx and Anarky, I can easily say those were two of the most physical matches I have ever seen in my years of watching wrestling. Maelstrom loves to fight. This is what he lives for and as excited as Wells is, I know somewhere Maelstrom is even more excited to get his hands on Wells.

JONATHAN MARX: Another match I am excited about is the Torneo Cibernetico between Team Anarky and Team Hart. The plans for doing this match date back to even before WFW when certain people who now work for WFW worked for the GLCW and it was one of the preliminary ideas for the initial GLCW Heavyweight Title tournament.

BRANDON JACOBS: Hopefully this will settle some of the differences between Hart and Anarky over the Scotty Michaels sneak attack and Gideon taking out Tact. To say there has been a lot of bad blood between these two groups would be understating the fact.

VIC WATERS: Plus the surviving members on the winning side will face each other on a later date for a shot at the North American Title. If LOVE wins, they are going to have to make a choice about keeping the group together or two members possibly facing each other and shaking the unity of the group. You just know management would love that.

JONATHAN MARX: LOVE has been a pain in the side for awhile now which is why groups like Inner Circle have been brought in take out them out.

VIC WATERS: Didn’t you ever see that cartoon where they kept on bringing in more dangerous animals to remove the other animals? It it is on going never ending cycle once you start doing that.

JONATHAN MARX: At least they are trying to do something and that is all you can ask…

VIC WATERS: This isn’t gym class Jonathan.

BRANDON JACOBS: The way you two are arguing you could be in the Partners Incredible match tonight between the team of Psycho & Scotty Michaels and Copycat the debut Dan Ryan.

JONATHAN MARX: This is going to give us a chance to see two teams which aren’t use to being tagged together and have heat with each other try to work as a team to take down another couple of ill matched wrestlers. How often do you see a member of LOVE teaming up with someone from a warring alliance? How often do you see Copycat team up with a man who President Wylde brought in to keep him away from his newly won WFW World Heavyweight Title belt? Isn’t it strange? Two members of Inner Circle are debuting tonight as regular performers and they both already have a history with the people in their match. How often do you see that in wrestling these days?

VIC WATERS: I think you’d have to go back to when Pestillence and Famine made their debuts against each other in the original NGEN when two brothers went at it one on one in some of the most violent matches I ever saw.

BRANDON JACOBS: I am sure that after Copycat’s defeat at Paradise Lost against Scotty Michaels, he isn’t going to hold anything back when he gets his hands on him again and he is going to try to send him a message going into their big WFW World Heavyweight Title match against Manson.

VIC WATERS: It should be interesting to see how much Scotty Michaels and Copycat let Psycho & Dan Ryan do their dirty work in an attempt to soften up their rivals. Psycho may not be the monster in size that Dan Ryan is, but Psycho is one of the toughest wrestlers in all of wrestling and he has two wins at Falls at the Mall and North American Title around his waist to show for it. On the other hand, Copycat has Dan Ryan to use for his evil purposes and Dan Ryan’s track record of success speaks for itself.

JONATHAN MARX: Copycat and Scotty Michaels may not even have to worry about Manson. I think El Arco Iris has an incredible home town advantage right here in Arena Mexico under traditional Lucha rules and he could take the title in the two out of three falls match. He almost took the North American Title at Cherry Blossom Chaos, this could be El Arco Iris’ night.

VIC WATERS: Both Manson and El Arco Iris could be dropped in a wood chipper and the only tears I would shed are tears of joy, but I think Manson will somehow find a way to prevail. If you remember, Shawn Hart faced Manson in Manson’s own hometown of Chicago and Shawn Hart managed to walk out the champion. After witnessing that, there is no hometown advantage too large to overcome.

BRANDON JACOBS: El Arco Iris has a lot of fans down here in Mexico, especially young children who he doesn’t want to let down. Beating Manson for the title is going to be an incredible task, but I know from watching El Arco Iris all of this time that he has an incredible heart and he may just be able to pull this one off.

VIC WATERS: It will never happen. I plan to go to my grave without having to hug you or El Arco Iris to pay off that bet.

(CUE UP: “Hail to the Chief,” the crowd immediately looks around in surprise before starting to boo the obvious salute to the President of the United States)

BRANDON JACOBS: I don’t know what’s going on, but apparently someone thinks it’s a good idea to get a little home patriotism going here…wait, a minute –
there’s a group of men walking out from the entrance.

JONATHAN MARX: Not just any men, these guys have black suits, sunglasses and earpieces…

VIC WATERS: I thought Manson was kidding when he said he’d get the President at one of our shows…

:ut from the entrance walks a man wearing a grey Armani suit, black tie, Republican National Committee nametag reading “Lonestar,” he’s also wearing a red, white and blue mask with a giant white star covering his face sans the eyeholes.::

VIC WATERS: Well, I haven’t seen anything this strange since Zack Sirus threatened to sodomize Polaris’ mom for a GGWF title shot back in the day.

JONATHAN MARX: My dad warned me about you.

BRANDON JACOBS: Well, weren’t expecting any on-air segments from our Presidential candidates this show, but apparently the man named Lonestar whose name was thrown in the hat earlier this week has made the trip down to Mexico for some speech-time.

JONATHAN MARX: These fans aren’t appreciating the music, that’s for sure.

BRANDON JACOBS: Indeed, I haven’t seen this much Corona spilled since my last Jimmy Buffet concert.

VIC WATERS: Die Jacobs, just die.

:residential candidate “Lonestar” enters the ring to a cascade of boos, pulling out a microphone from the inside pocket of his very expensive suit.::

lonestar: hello my fellow americanos.

::the crowd starts booing as lonestar snickers into
the microphone::

VIC WATERS: You know, I might like this guy.

::lonestar loosens his tie for a moment, then starts pacing around the ring::

lonestar: many of you don’t know me, but i am the man that will be willing to run for the office of president here in world’s finest wrestling. i am a man of strong resolve, will and dedercation. in the coming weeks i will be running against several competitors of this federation and one woman. i’ve reserved this time, so that you the voter may be able to understand my platform.

::lonestar stands there blankly for a moment, before remembering to continue::

lonestar: this federation is full of savages, mongrels and evil empires. just in the past several months under the stewardship of sean edmunds, we have seen rogue alliances such as l.o.v.e as well as the inner circle form in efforts to overtake the wrestling of the world’s finest. and let me tell you, if we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected.

VIC WATERS: I’m not even drunk yet, but I could swear if he keeps talking like that I’ll believe I am.

JONATHAN MARX: I...I...agree.

BRANDON JACOBS: Someone buy the devil some ear mittens.

lonestar: right now, your world champion is Michael manson. that’s just wrong. this man should be back in jail for the crimes he committed in the 1970’s as well as be deported back to the country he came from. in fact, if i am president of this federation i shall promise that all non-national competitors be sent back to their homes, as their kind isn’t worthy of being here. i will not cooperate with ruthless dictators like the mighty impala. i will not house the flea-ridden, mangy coat of maelstrom. that man is a sick bastard with countless of venerial diseases that most pandorians are born with. we don’t need his kind, here. more and more of our imports are coming from overseas, dammit.

JONATHAN MARX: You know, this sounds familiar...

VIC WATERS: All we need is someone claiming that he invented the internet.

lonestar: we all know that felix red, a known sexual deviant should have no place as your president. he’s a known communist bent on destroying the world. he’s a man that probably misunderestimates my valor and desire to be president. but i would stop at nothing to rid his scum off this planet. as for lindsay troy who is a woman...

::lonestar snickers heartily, then snorts::

lonestar: and we know women have no place in positions of power unless its naked and on top of a man. she’s also a known supporter of that foul-smelling maelstrom, proving that she’s a whore.

BRANDON JACOBS: Oooooooookay. I think its time to cut off someone’s mic.

lonestar: iron lion? he’s an oversized eskimo, practically another import of this federation. a man that has no resolve, no commitment and would probably retire if the job got too tough. let’s face it, alaska ain’t ever done nothin’ for the world and as long as we can’t harvest oil from it, we might as well lock them all away. when a wrestler comes in from around Canada, i wanna make sure it cheers ya, not kill ya... as president, i’d obligate myself to make sure this federation does everything it can to protect you. And one — my worry is that it looks like it's trained near Canada, but it might be from a third world."

BRANDON JACOBS: That doesn’t even make sense!

VIC WATERS: Who cares? Its more entertaining then watching Scotty Michaels gyrate his pelvis.

lonestar: There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

VIC WATERS: Wow, his brain must’ve burst coming up with that one...

lonestar: Our enemies, the love’s, the inner circles, the immigrants, maelstrom...they are innovative and resourceful, and so am I. they never stop thinking about new ways to harm our federation and our wrestlers, and neither do I...

::lonestar pauses in confusion::

JONATHAN MARX: A tumbleweed blowing by right now would be perfect...

lonestar: i thank you for your time wfwites. i hope to speak to you many more times during this journey and if you stand behind me, we shall rid this federation of our aggressors, rogue alliances, bastard children and worst of all, maelstrom. thank you, good night.

(CUE UP: ‘Hail to the Chief’)

BRANDON JACOBS: Folks, we have to take a commercial break, when we comeback, we’ll have some more comments on Lonestar and the Torneo Cibernetico…. STAY TUNED!