The scene is the streets of Downtown Greensboro, and James Irish, wearing a red flannel shirt and a lighter pair of jeans than when we last saw him, is walking out of a video store. He's holding a "Greek Made Easy!" video tape.
JIrish: Took me long enough to find one of these dang things. Though I'm not sure which shows we're taping on A1E's European tour, since we're hitting almost every major country in Ye Olde World, I figured it would at least be polite to learn a few common phrases... nothing says cross cultural courtesy like knowing how to say "Where's the Beef?" in fourteen different languages. Even if they don't get the reference, the looks on their faces is priceless.
... the looks on their faces if you ask that same person a serious question without realizing you razzed them earlier... not so much.
The European tour is coming up fast, but this tournament is going to be keeping me busy in the meantime. So the first order of business has been researching my opponent. Looks like he's done a house show or two, nothing that I could manage to find off the internet to watch. That's one point in his favor, there's plenty of my A1E work on DVD, and if he looks hard enough he can dig up old MBE tapes, but only if he wants to laugh at how big a goober I was back then. Not good for me no matter which way I look at it. Fortunately, I've managed to get Erin to be good at scouring the internet for intel on fresh opponents. Took her a while on this one, but she found out some basics.
Erin: *off camera* Ye still owe me twenty bucks fer that.
JIrish: Of course, those duties aren't in her contract with me, so I have to pay her scale.
Grumbling, James pulls out a ragged $20 and hands it to Erin who just now appears on camera as the two begin to walk around downtown.
She may be my friend, but as she keeps reminding me every time I open my wallet, she's also a businesswoman.
Back on topic, I managed to muster from what she found that the Sergeant is a pretty well-versed mat wrestler, knows how to do a DDT pretty well (a move I've made a point to master in several variations) and isn't afraid to take the fight to his opponent. In fact, from the sound of it, he's turned a Reverse DDT into a funky little submission finisher, something I wish I'd have thought of in my last title defense. Against that Weston punk... ugh...
Which brings me to the big difference between the Sergeant and most of the ham and eggers I've been putting up with recently in A1E. Those guys, the Jack Gilkisons, Eddie Westons and "Two Fists" I could cut loose a little on. I could riff off of just about anything they did, and really screwball it up. Against folks like the Sergeant, I become less Artie Johnson and more... Alton Brown is probably the best comparison.
Erin: The "Good Eats" guy?
JIrish: She's learning.
My point, and I do have one, is that when respect becomes an issue, like it is here, it gets harder and harder for me to really make a good "bite" at my opponents. Getting into their heads becomes more a matter of psychology in the ring, and less of stuff that would make people think I belong in a psychiatric ward long term.
Still, isn't that when this sport is at it's purist? When you strip away the drama and the absurdity and the threats and the glamorous women-
Erin: HEY!!!
JIrish: Okay, maybe not the glamorous women, but you see what I'm getting at here. What you wind up with is the very core of professional wrestling: two opposing forces colliding with one eventually coming out on top. Now, where does this put me? As the cagey veteran, at least of some sort, it puts me in a position to act as a mentor of sorts to the Sergeant when it comes to some of the finer points of in ring performance.
Granted, it's not the most ideal mentorship. I mean, for heaven's sakes, I'm going to be trying this fellow harm! And on top of that, he's one of our nation's finest! If this were a USO tour match, I'd be booed out beyond the borders of wherever I was going to entertain the troops just for attempting such a thing, officially sanctioned match or not!
Regardless, that's what I'm hoping to accomplish as a secondary goal here. To help show this man a few things about the right and wrong ways of doing things in the ring. If he leaves that ring a stronger competitor for having faced me, then win or lose, this will have been worth my time. Of course, winning the match would be the top priority, naturally, but if making this an impromptu lesson will make things interesting, all the better.
I promise I'll at least be nicer than the drill sergeants. Now, if you camera-folk will excuse us...
James and Erin begin to talk strategy as they walk off camera. Fade out.