FEEL THE POWER!!! AGGRO-INTENZITY R

[Greggulator]

(CUT TO: A bluescreen backdrop of a clover-clad mountaintop, with rain falling in the background. The fast-paced guitars of Megadeath wail and then---- WOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHH ---- a blast of blue lightning hits the set. After the lightning hits, the screen goes static-y, and from the mist of the rains, the likeness of a man begins to phase in. Once complete, he takes a more recognizable form-- the form of POWERMASTER. His hair is wildly permed, a blue lightning bolt (red trim) painted on his face. His musculature is well-oiled, arm tassles in alternating red and blue are tied around his biceps. He is wearing day-glo blue and red trunks, with color-coordinated fringe and matching boots.)

POWER: (snorts, beats his chest) THE POWER ONCE AGAIN REIGNZ! DOES THOU CHANNEL THY AGGGROOO INTENZITY? I SAY NAY. For thou are not PURE in miiiiiind.... nor is thou PURE INNNNN SPIIIIRRRRIIT. I have waged battles with the spirit lordz hiiiigh, yet YOU-- ALL OF MANKIND -- remains WEAK and SMALL, especially when compared to MYSELF- (Powermaster reaches towards the heavens.) THE ONE THUS CALLLLLED POWEERRRRRMASSSSTERRRRRRRRRR... thou MASTER OF FOKRUCITY.

For my WORDZ are loud but my ACTIONZ SPEAK LOUDERRRRRR. The wayz of FOKRUCITY ARE THE WAYZ TO ACHEIVE GREATNEZZZ... FOKRUCITY IZ THE WAY TO CHANNEL AGGRO-INTENZITY... AGGRO-INTENZITY IS THE WAY TO CLIMB THE OLYMPOUS MONS... and one in the cavernz of Marz, one shall know ETERNITY... one shall know INFINITY and one can be a MMMMAAZZZZTERRRRR... (snort) OFFFFFF.... (snort) POWERRRRRRRRRRR (snort, runs in place.)

My battleground is HERE-- the PLAINS OF THE NEW FRONTIER. I see WEAKNESS ABOUND, yet I hear no one asking me to UNLEASH THE ETERNAL WILDEBEAST. The rains continue to fall... YET NO ONE ASKZ ME TO SUMMON THE LIGHTNING... the winds continue to swirl YET NO ONE ASKZ ME TO CHANNEL THOU FOKRUCITY... for all remain PETRIFIED of the powerzzzzz offffffff AGGROOOOOOOOO INNNNTEEEENNNNNNZZZIIIITTTYYYYYYY. Save thou mortal soul known as VANNI RU-- a man who shall help the man-god mystify the spirit lordz who drink from the chalice of the River Styx... Vanni Ru... a man who shall help Powerrr Mazzzter unleash FOKRUCITY upon this genetic wasteland of non-carb eaterz.... Vanni Ru... a man who shalllll makeeeeee thissssss plaaaaaaace AGGGROOOOOOOOOOOOOINNNNNNNNNNTEEENNNNNZZZEEEEEEEEEEEE. (Powermaster beats his chest, reaches towards the heavens, shakes his permed hair and runs in place all at once. FTB.)

 

[SouthernBoy]

RE: FEEL THE POWER!!! AGGRO-INTENZI

"genetic wasteland of non-carb eaterz"

LOL

Nice to have you back Gregg.

 

[Calamity Jon]

RE: FEEL THE POWER!!! AGGRO-INTENZI

("BEHIND THA LINES" VANNI RU jumping up and down in his faux office set, wearing a POWER MASTER FOKRUCITY t-shirt and slapping his fist into his hands, gleefully. The masked giant stands behind him, nervously fidgeting.)

"That's RIGHT, Powah Mastah you beautiful Sonuva B(BLEEP)! You (BLEEP)in tell those lazy, no-good, back-stabbin' no-account piece'a SH(BLEEP)good-for-nothin' slacker A-HOLE C(BLEEP)BALL two-faced FATCAT (BLEEP) (BLEEP) (really long BLEEP) WHERE TA STICK IT! WOOO! FOKRUCITY and BEHIND THA LINES VANNI RU are LEADIN' THA WAY! RAAAH!" (tries to tear off his PM shirt, Hulkamania style, but can't get it started. He turns to the giant behind him)

"Heah, I can't do it."

(The giant wines plaintatively and shuffles from foot to foot)

"Just DO IT, ya BIG RETAHD! Ya won't get in trouble!"

(The giant shakes his head, then runs from the set howling)

"(BLEEP)DAMMIT! I gotta do EVERYTHING myself!"

(FTB as Ru continues to struggle with his t-shirt)

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PS - Man, Gregg, did I ever miss me some Power Master ...