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Eric Dane and The Second Coming Debate

Justin

Da BAWS
Staff member
Joined
Jun 26, 2009
Messages
2,466
Points
36
Age
39
Website
www.defiancewrestling.com
[Eric Dane is having either a late lunch or an early dinner.]

Eric Dane:
I can guarantee you that I'm totes not the Question Mark in question this time.

[He take a bite of sandwhich.]

Eric Dane: [chewing]
That is to say, unless I am. Because that'd make the most sense, amirite? Beat the Champ, beat the Number One Contender, and then become World Heavyweight Red Crown of The Universe or whatever based on pure merit.

[The Only Star slurps at a straw, washing down his tasty sam'mich.]

Eric Dane:
But I'm totally not. Totes McGotes, one-hundred percent not the mystery guy.

[Smirk.]

Eric Dane:
However. It would take a fair amount less effort to beat up a little girl in an ugly mask than it would to beat up the entire roster of mask-wearing weirdos, and the ends would easily justify the means.

[Shrug.]

Eric Dane:
Nah, totally not me.

[Thumbs up.]

Eric Dane:
Unless it is. Who the fuck knows, right?

[End.]
 
Joined
Jan 23, 2013
Messages
37
Points
0
Re: Inevitable

You’ve got a good point, Eric. You should totes be my opponent. It would totes save time. I think, if you haven’t already hipchecked the process to get you in the ring across from me, it’s totes what you need to do.

Totes.

It’ll totes save time.

After Mass Transit, when I totes take the Red Crown from Ivan, the natural progression based on who’s beaten whom at this point would totes be for the RLW front office to tell me, ‘MJ, Eric Dane totes pinned the Red Crown Champion before he lost the title to you, so he’s totes the number one contender.’ It’s logical to make that assumption.

It’s also logical that before we could even get to the match, I’d have totes committed suicide over the fact that the promos would totes be filled with you asking me if you can has title belt, or totes reminding me that all my base belongs to you, or all the other inane bullshit that you saw on the Internets one day and thought it was totes the most cutting edge thing you’ve ever seen.

Totes.

When viewed from that perspective, a match at Slamtrack 10 and just beating you there, one and done, sounds much better to me.

But that’s not your style, is it?

See, this is the part where I’m supposed to be all ‘Whoever you are,’ and downplaying everything you’ve done in the thirty nine years you’ve been wrestling, and everything else, thus showing you that I’m totes cooler than you and far too hip for the room.

That’s not my style. I may have a limited range of knowledge into the history of this sport, but I know the name Eric Dane. People will get their eyes on the Red Line product because the name Eric Dane is advertised on the marquee.

Come for the overpriced old man, stay for the future of the sport.

And when I consider the fact that, in my limited range of knowledge, you’ve had a tendency of running away and complaining about how unfairly you’re treated when things get tough, or when you face off with an opponent that you can’t handle, or when you’re put in a position where you can’t feign cognitive dissonance and it’s made clear that the wrestling industry in general and the company in particular doesn’t revolve around you.

You don’t make money for me when I beat you and you run back to Defiance, all the while claiming shenanigans. So, while it would be better for my peace of mind to face off with you at Slamtrack 10 and remove you from my company for good, it makes more sense to go along with the joke and treat you like you think you deserve, and get a few more eyes on the product for as long as we can hide the fact that Emperor Eric Dane has no clothes.

By then, I’ll be wearing the Red Crown, and we simply won’t need you anymore.

Totes.
 

Justin

Da BAWS
Staff member
Joined
Jun 26, 2009
Messages
2,466
Points
36
Age
39
Website
www.defiancewrestling.com
Re: Inevitable

[Up.]

Eric Dane:
It's good that you get it, kid.

[Smirk.]

Eric Dane:
Getting it ain't gonna stop me from carving your face, breaking your spirit, and pinning your shoulders for ye olde' one, two, three. But hey, go have fun with my sloppy seconds, after you're the second person to pin Ivan (if you even manage that much), maybe I'll let you be the second person whom I embarrass here in the Red Line.

But kid, if you don't get the job done, don't come barking up my tree after.

It'll be to the back of the line with ya.

[Middle finger.]

[End.]
 

brusch

Main Event Caliber
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
Messages
832
Points
18
Location
St. Louis, MO
Re: Inevitable

Dane/2C, any more back and forth you want to have needs to be in Subscriber Exclusives.
 

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