[FADE IN. Mr. Entertainment is walking back to his hotel from a bar. It’s early morning, about 3am, but despite the sprinkling of snow on the ground he’s left his biker’s jacket open, revealing a black “WFW:NE DESTRUCITY2” T-shirt. He runs his fingers through his hair, retying it as he does a walk-and-talk to camera, his eyes bloodshot]
ME: Ya know those times when no matter how much ya prepare fer the worse ya still have ta head ta the nearest bar an’ just get absolutely blitzed? Tha’s wha’ I’ve been doin’ lately, tryin’ ta get the fact I had ta tag with Peter File out my mind. Tryin’ ta get th’fact I lost the TV title ta Cameron Cruise outta my mind. It ain’t exactly been the best time fer ME
Mister Entertainment.
It was all set. I was gonna keep the WFW:NE TV title an’ fer the second time beat the reignin’ World Heavyweight Champion, combinin’ the two titles and ferever proving tha’ the greatest wrestler in the combined history of WFW, New ERA an’ WFW:NE was ME
Mister Entertainment.
But noooooo… Cammy has ta go deviate from the script an’ cheat ME
Mister Entertainment
Outta the TV Title. The TV Title I put on the map! The TV title I beat the BEST ta defend, and since losin’, I’ve been stuck against… Otto Pearl…
I know losin’ ta Cammy means ya get punished, but pu-LEASE! WHY do I have ta team with Peter File, fer one thin’, an’ fer another why do I, the greatest wrestler an’ ENTERTAINER in HISTORY, have ta wrestle a green, overweight, Akron livin’ half-German NOBODY?!
I mean… GAH! It’s jus’ so damn FRUSTRATIN’!
[He stops walking, steepling his hands in front of his chest as he hangs his head for a second, taking a deep breath]
ME: OK. I get it. I worked my magic with HAL, worked it with Rocko, worked it with Cammy, worked it by teamin’ with Peter File, an’ those guys are goin’ or have gone places. An’ someone’s sooooo jealous tha’ they wanna hold ME
Mister Entertainment
Down. Someone is soooo scared o’ my GREATNESS they’re tryin’ ta play games, keepin’ the greatest entertaining on the PLANET down so he, ME
Mister Entertainment
Quits in a pit o’ shame.
Oh for shame, WFW:NE faithful. Ya’ll are tha’ scared o’ my brilliance tha’ ya’ve decided ta try an’ hold down the one decent bit o’ ENTERTAINMENT ya get in yer lives, by havin’ ME
Mister Entertainment
The RIGHTFUL TV champ.
The man the myth the legend the greatest entertainer of ALL TIME!!
Face Otto… Pearl.
[Despite the time of night, he takes out his sunglasses, putting them on to hide his eyes. He rests his hands on his hips, staring straight into the camera]
ME: Well, Otto? We squared off in the tag match, an’ now we’re goin’ mano y mano. Yer bein’ given a shot ta try an’ survive a match against one o’ the big guns of WFW:NE one… on… one. This ain’t some small time hog-wrestling carnival match like yer used ta. There ain’t no lil’ Lullabelle waitin’ ta toss a bucket o’ water down ya but somehow miss an’ get it down her white T. There ain’t no fields need plowin’. This is the big time, an’ a small time Amerikadeutsch hick like YOU has no business bein’ across the ring from ME.
Mister Entertainment.
So, I’ll make this quick… an’ not just because I’m only two blocks from the hotel.
At RAUCOUS, the best thing ya’ll can hope fer is ta make it through the match still able ta walk. Because I don’t care who I’ve upset, who’s scared o’ my brilliance… there ain’t no WAY after the past few months I’ve had here in WFW:NE I’m gonna lose ta a nobody never-will-be clown like you. I need the win ta put this company back on track, an’ you don’t have any say about that. Because it ain’t about YOU, at RAUCOUS, DESTRUCITY, or in life in general.
It’s all about ME.
Mister… Entertainment.
[FADE OUT]
