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Chain Reaction #2: Erik Mateo vs. Dusty Rodgers

Stalker

I stalk, because I care
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
894
Points
18
Age
40
Debut match for both men.

Normal Rules.
 

TSiegel

I spoil things.
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
2,275
Points
0
Age
43
Location
Merced, California USA
OORP: Sorry for being late....I expected to have this earlier this afternoon and work called me in earlier than expected, I swear (just ask Mike!!). Anyway...here it is...accounted for or not...apologies for my tardiness.

TS
---------------------------


(Fadein, Las Vegas Nevada. Bright lights and the expensive living can be heard all around as the camera cuts to differen, t spots of the city. Finally, it rests on a beaten down bar, the outside-paint chipped off, a lightbulb swaying abit, uncovered. Sitting on a stool in the far corner is a cowboy, complete with hat, buckle, wranglers, the whole bit, with his head down on the bar, passed out, his black hat hiding his face. The camera pan around abit as it gets closer to the guy and notices afew tables turned over, chairs missing a fourth leg, wall mirrors either missing from the frame or cracked, and faded pictures of Pamela Anderson in her promo poster for "Barbed Wire" and "Baywatch", Jennifer Aniston from the cover of Rolling Stone, even pictures of Sigourney Weaver, circa "Aliens". The camera pans closer and as hand reaches over and nudges the cowboy, trying to get his attention without DRAWING attention to himself. A muffled voice is heard in from under the cowboy hat and the cowboy waves off the camera, motioning toward the door. The same hand taps the cowboy on the shoulder and then replaces the nearby "Johnny-Walker black" and replaces it with a brand new cup of coffee via Starbucks. Under the hat protrudes a face with a dastardly "five-o'-Clock shadow" as it tilts the coffee sideways to drink. The cowboy clears his throat a couple times, mumbles something inaudible and looks at a piece of paper placed in front of him, a reminder if you will and he clears his throat once more, his cowboy hat falling forward on his head while he tries to straighten up abit, waking up from his drunken stupor.)

C: Ain' dis' a bit offa sorepras?? Youse gah' ar' bake 'gin eh?? Come ta' giv' ol' Erik Mateeeoooo abit o' news aye?? Wers' dat' Don'van feller ate?? Hes' scurred o' me ya know that?? Guess he has a roit ta be...ah did' fack 'is mudder....ate leest ah' thank ah did, ah'm not sure.

(Mateo pauses for a second and scrunches his face as he slowly mouths words silently sent to him by the cameraman. Finally after repeating it acouple times to himself, his face lights up and he smiles a smile only seen after a night of alcohol-consumption that only he can accomplish, and out of no where, Mateo spins around awkwardly on a stool and faces back front.)

EM: Ah-Dubya-Eff!!! Ah knew youse gahs' wood sho'-yup....an' her' 'yar!!!

(Mateo hops up and straightens himself more, ending with an adjustmant of his cowboy hat.)

EM: Don' let what youse gahs' see her' trick yas'...dis' what happ'ns' when youse go'ut wit' dat' gah'....whats hays' name 'gin?? Sum'thin' rhymin' wit' "Shelton"...."Bellin'"...no..."Helen"...noo...but ah 'members a "Helen"...she nice an' curveh' an' got a noice set of Melons...wait...DATS' IT!!! MELTON!! That dame bast'rd....what now gah'?? Oh roit...the reesin' yer her'.

Duck Rodgers.

Duck Rodgers....ain't thayt thayt daffy cartoon feller?? Cayn't be..that crap ain' reel...roit?? Tha' Duck 'n' tha' fifteh'-ferth-cent-ree Infantree gah' or sumthin' lahk thayt roit??

(Mateo spits off to the side, his "loogee-phlegm" audible as it's clear this place hasn't been cleaned in quite some time, and narrows his eyes again, this time seriously concentrating.)

EM: Dats' dah way ah' start offa wit' dis' place, huh, dis' what ah' got?? Bes' thang ta happen' ta thayt utter comp'ny an' fer' all mah' herd' werk....this' mah start off??

Fa'r 'nuff.

List'n up daffeh'....youse picked tha' wrong feller to day-beyoo 'gaynst. It don' matt'r if youse ten feet tall or Supe'man....I've beat up fellers' badder an' craz'yer than youse cayn dreeeem!!!

An' thayts' roit'ly what yer' gon' do when ah'm throo' wit'cha, an' have all tha' "rabbit-stew" youse want...thayt Fudd-feller ain't round her' ta both'r nobody...

Meanwhy...ah'll be roit bake her' wit' mah' booze an' womens...cuz it don't gayt better thayn me...nooooo sir...HALARP--!!

(Mateo in one swift motion leans over and hurls into the nearest wastebasket as the camera man starts cursing obscenities and words about a pay-raise as he fumbles for the "Power" button before going static for a second and then cutting off.)

END
 

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