"The Pacific Blitzkrieg" Kerry Kuroyama vs. Cecilworth Jay Farthington
(Cut to: A crudely produced graphic featuring a picture of "The Pacific Blitzkrieg" Kerry Kuroyama on the left hand side and Cecilworth Farthington on the right. The middle of the screen lists their physical attributes and any relative biographical information.)
McGinnis: In what would seem to be a night of perpetual mismatches, Kerry Kuroyama verse Cecilworth Farthington will be no exception. "The Pacific Blitzkrieg" takes both the weight and height advantage. Two hundred and thirty two pounds to Cecilworth's comparatively meager one hundred and fifty four pounds, or eleven stone. Cecilworth, alongside the hometown advantage, will give up about three inches. Kerry's biggest disadvantage here will clearly be the effects of the beating he took last week by the hands of Ivan Dalkichev. This one could really go either way and should turn out to be one interesting matchup.
Donald Bell: Ladies and gentlemen, our following exhibition contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... weighing in at nine stone, and fighting out of Buckingham, England... please welcome... CECILWORTH JAY FARTHINGTON!
(“When the Going Gets Tough” by Billy Ocean hits the public address system, and the Seattle fans jeer to welcome CECILWORTH J. FARTHINGTON as he struts out onto the stage with his entourage of personal trainers. His arrogance is on full display as he exchanges insults with the fans on his trip down the ramp to the ring.)
Creed: The black sheep of the prestigious Farthington family of the United Kingdom is coming to the ring now, with a bit of swagger in his stride! No doubt, Cecilworth J. Farthington is feel confident after his one-sided debut victory back at Chain Reaction 9!
Anderson: C-Ville’s got MORE to feel confident that just a win over the “WOO!” guy! Like being LOADED... and having the best trainers available at his disposal at any moment! Let’s not forget he weighs as much as NINE HUGE BOULDERS!
Creed: I think you need your EYES checked, Terry! Nine stone is only around one-hundred and forty pounds... and that’s pushing it.
Anderson: Well, weight was never important, anyway. In my day, sure... but these days? It’s all about having mass! C-Worth has mass... mass AWESOMENESS!!
Donald Bell: And his opponent... he weighs in at two-hundred and thirty-two pounds and appears tonight in his hometown of SEATTLE, WASHINGTON... here comes “the Pacific Blitzkrieg”... KERRY KUROYAMA!
(“Revolve” by the Melvins hits the PA as KERRY KUROYAMA walks out onto the stage, gets a big hometown pop as he performs his iconic fist-bump, and advances down the ramp, looking confident and slapping hands with the fans. In the ring, Farthington tries in vain to get the audience to quiet down, but they tune him out in favor the presence of the Pacific Blitzkrieg.)
Creed: The prodigy of the Dojo wrestling school is out next, with a look of determination on his face! “The Pacific Blitzkrieg” Kerry Kuroyama is intent on following the path to the elite level of this promotion, and so far, he’s proven his resilience, withstanding overwhelming odds and achieving victory!
Anderson: Oh, come on... this kid’s been riding the most ridiculous streak of luck I’ve ever seen in all my years in this business! What happened at Surge with Erik Mateo was a FLUKE by all means... and you can’t really say he “won” anything back at Chain Reaction Nine over a guy who’s technically a bodyguard!
McGinnis: Irregardless, this young man has proven a natural ability in the ring, and the fans have rallied behind him! A win tonight could take him one step closer to the Emerald City Title...
Anderson: Actually, that was what I was hoping would happen with C-Worth. I think Perfection and Farthington for the Emerald City Title is my absolute number two dream match right now!
Creed: What’s number one?
Anderson: Whipped cream strip down between Katy Perry and that stacked ginger chick off of Mad Men. I mean, come on, what SANE man would not want to see that?
Creed: Ugh... the more you speak, the less SANE I feel sometimes, Terry. Let’s just go to the ring, where Tony Daniels looks ready to get this underway...
(With Kuroyama and Farthington separated to opposite sides of the ring, referee Tony Daniels cues the bell, and both men come right at each other. The tie-up lasts only a moment before Kuroyama uses his immediate advantage in strength to wrangle Farthington into a side waistlock, and he promptly puts him to the mat with an old-school suplex. As C-Worth lies stunned on the canvas, Kerry pulls one of his arms around his back and quickly clinches it into a hammerlock.)
Creed: Kuroyama’s getting off to a quick start, slamming Farthington to the mat and going right for the submission hold! That took the smirk right off of C-Worth’s face, now strained in anger and pain!
McGinnis: Farthington working to break free... and Kuroyama gets a hand across the face!
(Farthington uses the free hand to graze the face of Kerry Kuroyama, and while the ref warns him not to do it again, the damage is done as C-Worth uses the brief distraction to shift his weight, twist his arm around, and reverse the hold. Showing quick reflexes, he scissors his legs around Kerry’s arm and for a moment threatens to put him into a Fujiwara Armbar, but Kuroyama pulls free at the last second.)
McGinnis: Cecilworth with the FUJIWARA -- no! Kerry got a whiff of what was going on and pulled out before Farthington could draw him in!
Creed: Kuroyama charges as C-Worth comes to his feet... but Farthington sees it coming and quickly drops him with a classic drop toe hold!
Anderson: RIGHT-O! Good show, old man!
(Terry gives the line a tacky English inflection as Cecilworth J. Farthington quickly puts a side headlock onto Kuroyama before he can get to his feet. With an arrogant smirk on his face to incite the rage of the audience, he wrenches in on the hold, squeezing his forearm across Kerry’s temple in a painful manner. His confidence begins to wane, however, as Kuroyama begins to power up to his feet.)
Creed: Cecilworth J. Farthington goes for the headlock, but Kerry Kuroyama is working himself back up, getting the fans behind him!
Anderson: Come on, C-Worth... just tune out these Yankee scumbags!
McGinnis: Cecilworth looking distraught as Kuroyama makes it to his feet... Kerry takes him by the waist... oh WOW, Cecilworth is just hoisted AIR... Atomic Drop by Kuroyama!!
(Kerry brings Cecilworth down over his knee to break the hold, and quickly goes to the ropes. The Farthington black sheep is tip-toeing across the ring in pain and rubbing his buttocks as the Pacific Blitzkrieg comes back on the rebound and nearly takes his head off with a spinning back-handed chop while he’s running. C-Worth drops flat on his back as Kerry lets loose a primal yell into the audience and getting them charged.)
Creed: Kerry Kuroyama has turned the tables on Cecilworth J. Farthington! WHAT a chop! You could hear the pop off that down the block! Here’s Kuroyama with a lateral press, going for the pin!
Tony Daniels: One... Two...
McGinnis: Farthington with the kick out!
Anderson: That’s right, C-Worth! Show ‘em you’ve still got the fight left in you!
(Before Farthington can get away, Kerry pulls him in close and puts a few forearms to the side of his head. C-Worth struggles harder as Kuroyama attempts to mount his chest, and through perseverance and sheer desperation, he reaches out and grasps the bottom rope. Kerry breaks contact at once, and Cecilworth is under the ropes and on the outside in a heartbeat. Almost immediately, his crew of trainers are there to help him back up.)
McGinnis: Kuroyama, keeping up the pressure, but Farthington gets out of the ring before he can do any more damage! It’s not a courageous act, but a smart move to break his opponent’s rising momentum!
Creed: Farthington’s trainer’s are right there to butter him up and tell him he’s doing a good job so far... but you have to wonder if he might be doubting his own abilities right now!
Anderson: Not a chance, Aaron! A Farthington doesn’t walk into anything unprepared! C-Worth knew he’d have adversity in this match, but he knows it’s all brains over brawn!
(In the ring, the referee diligently counts and Kerry patiently waits, while on the outside Cecilworth J. Farthington shakes his arms out and takes a few slaps on the back from his trainers to get his confidence up and rolling again. Ready to return to action, he ascends the steps to the apron, ordering Tony Daniels to keep the other man back before he comes back in. The audience boos his reluctance, forcing him to send some trash talk their way. Finally, he steps through the ropes.)
Creed: Cecilworth back in the ring now, ready to redeem himself... and Kuroyama tells him to come and get it! Here’s Farthington, going into the lock-up... and Kerry once again overpowers with ease!
McGinnis: Kuroyama reaching over for the gutwrench... and UP comes C-Worth into the air, before being driven down with a sit-out POWERBOMB!
Creed: Kerry hooking the legs and Cecilworth’s shoulders are down!
Tony Daniels: One... Two... Thr --
Anderson: YES!! There you go, C-Worth!
(Farthington breaks the pin as he scissors his legs across Kuroyama’s face. Kerry is clutching his nose as he rolls back to his feet, and barely catches a kick from Farthington to the mid-section. C-Worth follows through with an enziguri, silencing the crowd and putting Kuroyama to the mat. He crows with triumph as he pops back to his feet, getting booed by the audience for his show of arrogance. As Kuroyama recovers, Farthington gets low in the corner and waits for him to rise...)
McGinnis: A quick-timed enziguri gives Cecilworth J. Farthington a chance to take this match back into his control! Kuroyama almost up to his feet... and here comes Cecilworth!
Anderson: OH YEAH, C-Worth with an absolute AWESOME looking Swinging Neckbreaker! I couldn’t have done that better myself!
Creed: The trainers outside the ring are cheering him on, and now Farthington is going for the pin!
Tony Daniels: One... Two... Thr --
(Kerry gets the shoulder up at the last second, causing Cecilworth to throw the ref a threatening glare. Nevertheless, he puts the Pacific Blitzkrieg right into a front facelock as he gets back to his feet and takes a handful of his waistband as he prepares for a vertical suplex... but Kuroyama hooks the leg and blocks it! The fans pop excitedly as Kerry counts with a vertical suplex of his own, but their excitement is quickly dashed as Farthington spryly slips out and lands on his feet behind him.)
Creed: Kuroyama with a reversal, but Cecilworth J. Farthington comes through with a reversal of his own... there’s the waistlock -- and Farthington carries him over with a German suplex!
Anderson: Jolly good show, old chap!
McGinnis: There’s a bridge for the pin!
Tony Daniels: One! Two!
Creed: NO! Kuroyama kicks out!
McGinnis: Cecilworth has the advantage over Kuroyama right now, but the Pacific Blitzkrieg has already proven he can withstand punishment! If there will be any pride brought to the Farthington name tonight, then Cecilworth is going to have to either get creative or go for the quick kill!
(Farthington leaves Kuroyama to slowly recover to himself as he struts from one side of the ring to the other. The fans jeer him loudly, but their reaction only seems to motivate him further. Kerry finally gets up with the help of the ropes, and C-Worth soon spots him leaning in the corner. Cecilworth moves in with his fists up and ready, and soon begins pummeling the defenseless Kuroyama with a flurry of rights and lefts.)
Creed: Kerry Kuroyama getting a REAL beating now, and I’m sure this is only bringing back memories from his brawl back at Surge!
McGinnis: Cecilworth thinks he has this one! He holds up his knuckles for the fans... gives them a kiss... and here comes the knock-out haymaker -- OH WAIT!! Kuroyama gets the arm up and BLOCKS IT!
Anderson: What the -- !?
(The fans POP as Kuroyama catches Farthington by the fist, and the camera closes in on the facial exchange between both men, as C-Worth looks surprised and Kerry looks defiant and angry. Kerry throws the arm aside to put Farthington off balance and comes charging out of the corner with a flurry of fists of his own! Farthington covers up to shield himself from the onslaught, but soon finds his back up against the ropes.)
McGinnis: Kerry Kuroyama comes roaring back with a second wind, and now here comes Cecilworth J. Farthington off the ropes with the Irish Whip... on his way back -- and Kuroyama DRILLS HIM with a powerslam!
Anderson: Come on, C-Worth! Don’t drop your swagger on me now!
Creed: Kuroyama not going for a pin here... he’s sitting Farthington up, and moving in behind! Looking for a Katahajime -- but Farthington counters with a snapmare over the shoulder!
(Cecilworth follows through after the snapmare with a flipping neck snap to whip Kerry’s head to the mat. No longer showing his cockiness, Farthington looks almost desperate as he rushes Kuroyama back onto his feet, tucks him under his arm, and drills him right into the canvas with a quick DDT! Immediately, he rolls Kerry over and hooks the leg for the cover...)
Tony Daniels: One! Two! Thr --
Anderson: YES -- wait, NO!! ALMOST!! Freaking ref was SLOW on that count!
Creed: All the same, Kuroyama managed to kick out! Cecilworth J. Farthington bursts back onto his feet and gives Tony Daniels an earful on that count, but Daniels isn’t going to take that kind of attitude!
McGinnis: Clearly, Farthington isn’t reacting well to Kerry Kuroyama’s resilience! I think he knows he’s gotta finish this one now, or this match is only going to get harder for him!
(Making the motion that he’s had enough, Farthington brings Kuroyama up the rest of the way and slaps him into a front-facelock. Hooking the leg and preparing for the Worthless, he stalls only for a brief second to point out a mouthy ringside fan and give him an insult -- but it costs him everything when Kuroyama suddenly drops back and wrangles him into a small package.)
Creed: KERRY WITH THE SMALL PACKAGE!!
Tony Daniels: One! Two! Three!!
Creed: HE GOT HIM!!
Anderson: WHAT?! What happened!? NO!
(The crowd cheers as Daniels cues for the bell. The two men break apart and the camera zooms in on Cecilworth J. Farthington’s stunned face as he sits up and realizes what just happened. “Revolve” comes over the PA once again, and Kerry Kuroyama pumps his fist and he climbs to his feet in victory.)
McGinnis: Look at the face of Cecilworth J. Farthington, sitting in the ring in absolute shock and awe! He can’t fathom how Kuroyama could have turned it around on him so quickly, but that’s what happens when you let yourself get distracted!
Anderson: What do you mean “distracted”? Tony Daniels was clearly favoring this match in a very pro-American way. While I’m normally for that kind of thing, it’s nothing short of a crime when you come out and STEAL a match from a talented athlete like Cecilworth J. Farthington in such a manner!
Creed: To Farthington’s credit, he gave Kuroyama a hard fight, and was moments away from sealing what I assume would have been the victory if only he managed to pull off that Fisherman Suplex.
McGinnis: A good effort, but not enough to overcome the resiliency and fierce determination of the Pacific Blitzkrieg! Maybe Farthington will remember that next time!
Creed: As Cecilworth J. Farthington appeals to his trainers to find out what he didn’t wrong, Kerry Kuroyama returns to the locker room, celebrating his victory with the fans, knowing he’s now one step closer to competing for the Emerald City Title!
McGinnis: But speaking of the title, we still need to learn just who is the Emerald City Champion!
Anderson: Oh, come on... we already KNOW it’s Perfection!
Creed: We’ll know before the night is through, but first, let’s take a quick a break...