G
Greggulator
Guest
(CUT TO: The placid waves of Lake Erie wash up against the somewhat-polluted shore of Cleveland, OH. The camera cuts to two guys with matching blonde Brian Bosworth-style mullets and wetsuits (GLCW logo on the stomach's) carrying surfboards. The duo-- "Hang Ten" Harold Haggler and "Aloha" Alex Hand see the cameras. Hand gets down on bended knee, making the Hawaiaan "shaka" sign and hoots. Haggler points to the camera and tosses his board aside.)
10: Great Lakes Championship Wrestling... prepare yourself for an introduction AND an education. I am "Hang Ten" Harold Haggler and my partner-in-crime here is "Aloha" Alex... aka The Elusive Mister Hand.
(Hand snarls and starts looking up at the moon, going-- HOOOT! HOOOT! HOOOT!)
10: But combined, you can call us The Oak Street Beach Patrol. All we are is two guys with hot bods and long rods who grew up in the Windy City. We started surfing the gnarly waves of Lake Michigan when we was just young kids, and quickly became phenoms in the ultra-competitive Great Lakes Surfing Alliance. Together, we've won nearly every singles and tag team surfing competition there is-- from St. Catherine's, Ontario to Duluth, Minnesota.
HAND: HOOT! HOOOT! (pause.) HOOOOT! HOOOOOOT!
10: We've met people from every Great Lakes state and Canadian province and we can honestly and truly say that these are OUR people. We relate to the hardworking people of Detroit and Flint up in Michigan, working hard at the auto plant to put the kids through college. We're brothers with the people on the Upper Penninsula in Michigan who own Bed-n-Breakfast resorts. Green Bay? Milwaukee? Erie, PA? They're all our kind of town!
HAND: HOOOT! HOOOT!
10: But maybe our favorite, except for our hometown of Chicago, is right here in Cleveland. Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame. The Jake. A bustling nightlife scene for two dudes with tudes... and a big beach with ultra-high waves.
HAND: HOOOT! HOOOOO!
10: That's why we plan on making our in-ring debuts right here in the city by the Cayahoga. Y'see, we've already DONE all we can surfing. My and my bro-ski here, we want another challenge. We want immortality in another profession-- the profession of pro rasslin'. We've been big wrestling fans on top of surfing champions. And we plan on making a huge dent in this sport... right here in our home region of the Great Lakes!
HAND: HOOOOOT! HOOOOOT! HOOOT!
10: It don't matter if you're big or small... strong or fast. Me and my best bud here are gonna face you. We've surfed across the big waves of Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie and Superior. You think a 450 pound giant is scary? You should try the undertow at the public beach in Rochester! We're sick freaks who will conquer ANY challenge.
HAND: HOOOT! HOOOOT! HOOOOT! HOOOOOT!
10: And at the Gund Arena in Ohio, we're going to start to leave our mark and make all you fans remember why Cleveland Rocks! Surf's up... and you're going down!
HAND: HOOOOT! HOOOOT! HOOOOT! HOOOOOOOT! HOOOOOT! (FTB)
10: Great Lakes Championship Wrestling... prepare yourself for an introduction AND an education. I am "Hang Ten" Harold Haggler and my partner-in-crime here is "Aloha" Alex... aka The Elusive Mister Hand.
(Hand snarls and starts looking up at the moon, going-- HOOOT! HOOOT! HOOOT!)
10: But combined, you can call us The Oak Street Beach Patrol. All we are is two guys with hot bods and long rods who grew up in the Windy City. We started surfing the gnarly waves of Lake Michigan when we was just young kids, and quickly became phenoms in the ultra-competitive Great Lakes Surfing Alliance. Together, we've won nearly every singles and tag team surfing competition there is-- from St. Catherine's, Ontario to Duluth, Minnesota.
HAND: HOOT! HOOOT! (pause.) HOOOOT! HOOOOOOT!
10: We've met people from every Great Lakes state and Canadian province and we can honestly and truly say that these are OUR people. We relate to the hardworking people of Detroit and Flint up in Michigan, working hard at the auto plant to put the kids through college. We're brothers with the people on the Upper Penninsula in Michigan who own Bed-n-Breakfast resorts. Green Bay? Milwaukee? Erie, PA? They're all our kind of town!
HAND: HOOOT! HOOOT!
10: But maybe our favorite, except for our hometown of Chicago, is right here in Cleveland. Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame. The Jake. A bustling nightlife scene for two dudes with tudes... and a big beach with ultra-high waves.
HAND: HOOOT! HOOOOO!
10: That's why we plan on making our in-ring debuts right here in the city by the Cayahoga. Y'see, we've already DONE all we can surfing. My and my bro-ski here, we want another challenge. We want immortality in another profession-- the profession of pro rasslin'. We've been big wrestling fans on top of surfing champions. And we plan on making a huge dent in this sport... right here in our home region of the Great Lakes!
HAND: HOOOOOT! HOOOOOT! HOOOT!
10: It don't matter if you're big or small... strong or fast. Me and my best bud here are gonna face you. We've surfed across the big waves of Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie and Superior. You think a 450 pound giant is scary? You should try the undertow at the public beach in Rochester! We're sick freaks who will conquer ANY challenge.
HAND: HOOOT! HOOOOT! HOOOOT! HOOOOOT!
10: And at the Gund Arena in Ohio, we're going to start to leave our mark and make all you fans remember why Cleveland Rocks! Surf's up... and you're going down!
HAND: HOOOOT! HOOOOT! HOOOOT! HOOOOOOOT! HOOOOOT! (FTB)