Convenience, the next step in
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-20-03 AT 05:22 PM (EST)](Cueup: "The People" by The Music)
(Fade in to what appears to be a tape from the latest edition of Riptide. We seem to be watching the Television Title match between Nemesis and "Stupendous" Stephen Morgan. On one side of the ring, we see Cannonball Kidd having a philosophical discussion with the referee. On the other side, Nemesis is going after Stephen Morgan, when out of nowhere, "Man of Action" Joe Clarke blindsides him with the GLCW Television Title belt. The tape then pauses. The camera pans back to show that the match being shown was actually being displayed on a large-screen television in some sort of office-looking room. As the camera continues to pan back, we can see assorted wrestling posters and paraphrenalia around the room, as well as some items clearly there simply to convey that the person responsible for the decoration is very, very deep; large books, thought-provoking posters, et cetera. As the camera continues its panning, we see "Man of Action" Joe Clarke sitting in a chair fairly close to the television. He wears jeans and a black T-shirt that looks like it's much too tight for his impressive frame. Cannonball Kidd, wearing his wrestling gear [isn't he always?], walks into the shot with a television remote in one hand and a clipboard with a sheet of paper on it in the other. He sets the remote on top of the television and speaks to Clarke)
Cannonball Kidd: See...here's the first of the problems we need to work on here. You don't have too much trouble keeping your um...what was it...
(Cannonball glances at the clipboard briefly, then back up at Clarke)
Cannonball Kidd: That's right, that's right. So, you don't have too much trouble keeping your (making quote marks with fingers) "unstoppable rage" in check when you're being reminded to do so.
(Clarke nods)
Cannonball Kidd: That's a good start. But the trouble is, it seems that no one reminds you not to unleash said rage on whatever target happens to present itself except for me, and as we see in this tape, I'm not always available for those purposes. We've already seen that, at this stage in the game, telling you in advance not to give in to your (making quote marks with fingers) "unstoppable rage" when the feelings start isn't enough to convince you not to do it. And that's okay...neither of us expected to be able to get rid of the rage so quickly. But we do need to get it worked out as soon as possible, because it causes problems.
(Cannonball picks up the remote and presses the fast-forward button)
Cannonball Kidd: Now, let's skip forward a little here and show you a more ideal method.
(Cannonball hits the play button. The clip shows Clarke and Jarod Poe about to start fighting. Cannonball gets between them and restrains Clarke, preventing a brawl from breaking out, at least until Larry Tact appears and attacks Poe. Cannonball pauses the tape again and puts the remote back on the television)
Cannonball Kidd: See there? Now, you might say that the only thing that protected Jarod Poe from another sound thrashing was the fact that I held you back. But think about it. That's giving you NO credit, and the fact is, you deserve credit for not ripping Poe apart here. Yes, I did hold you back. But bear in mind, you outweigh me by over one hundred pounds. You could have easily flung me aside and demolished Poe. But instead, you listened to me and acknowledged that crushing Poe again would have only caused a worse debacle than the one already taking place in the match. So what did you show?
(Clarke thinks for a moment. Cannonball doesn't give him a chance to answer)
Cannonball Kidd: SELF-CONTROL! You controlled yourself, even if you did need my help to do it. In fact, you might say that, with some assistance from my program for self-actualization, you STOPPED yourself from laying waste to Jarod Poe. And since you stopped yourself, that means that you've taken the first step towards controlling your violent temper. If you'll look at my notes here, you'll see...
(Cannonball shows Clarke the clipboard)
Cannonball Kidd: ...that I've downgraded you from "unstoppable rage" to "murderous rage." Congratulations! You've taken yet another step towards self-actualization!
(Clarke pumps his fist triumphantly)
Cannonball Kidd: And guess what? I've got more good news! You see, I fully realize that if I allow your (making quote marks with fingers) "murderous rage" to stay bottled up, it will eventually become unstoppable again. You can't just IGNORE your anger...it has to be vented, one way or another.
(Clarke nods)
Cannonball Kidd: And while I, as a self-actualized man, have discovered a myriad of constructive ways of dealing with the little disappointments and annoyances in my life, you aren't at that stage yet. So you'll be pleased to know that, for the next edition of Riptide, you and I have been given a tag match against a team named...
(Cannonball glances at his clipboard, then looks back up)
Cannonball Kidd: ...Major Impact. Clearly, the GLCW management has granted us this match as an opportunity for you to vent your (making quote marks with fingers) "murderous rage" on a couple of expendable opponents. This way, instead of simply attacking whoever's convenient, you have some assigned opponents to annihilate! Not only will this help you to establish yourself as a GLCW competitor, but it'll give you AMPLE opportunity to vent the directionless anger that courses through your veins and poisons your mind!
(Clarke rubs his hands together in anticipation)
Cannonball Kidd: All right. Next time, we'll discuss why it's bad to interfere in my matches when I have everything well in hand. But I think that's enough for today's session. So just don't forget...don't unleash your (making quote marks with fingers) "murderous rage" on just anyone. Wait for an appropriate setting in which to release it. Because remember, we're in an era where too many people simply hide behind their words, and times like these call for a Man of-
(Clarke interrupts Cannonball, springing out of his chair and knocking it over. Cannonball jumps back a little)
Joe Clarke: ACTION!
Cannonball Kidd (a tad shaken): Ah...right.
(Cannonball and Clarke walk offscreen)
(Fade out)