CALGARY: Cameron Cruise vs. Beau Michaels

[TH]

Two former lovers (Cruise says "LIAR!") face off in this first round matchup.

 

[TSiegel]

(Fadein, Cruise facing away from the camera at the backdrop, that's labeled "TEAM WRESTLING")

CRUISE: You know, there's an old saying that goes "There's no 'I' in 'TEAM'".

Grammer speaking, unless you're abit like Black Death Devil Mastr...basically a pissed off tree....it's obvious.

But this isn't grade school and I'm not makin' it out to be.

Mercedes checked it out for a common definition and said that it was "An organized group of people work working together".

So what do I find in the mailbox from the Company Memo....but a Singles match.

With Beau Michaels, no less.

Kid, either you're slick-palming the boss...which...by your way of living is disgusting...or you don't understand the concept of "STAY THE **** AWAY FROM ME", one bit.

From one place to another, one booking to another that Mercedes sets for me, I show up...

And you're in the dumpster trying to hide.

By the way, for as crooked as you are...one would think that hiding in a DUMPSTER would be kinda Superfluous as you being in this business as a whole...

But perhaps it was the orange rinds in your ear that kept you from computing it to that nasty lil' brain of yours, hmm??

But I digress, all things aside....here we are AGAIN.

Fine.

But remember one thing you Bi-Sexual piece of crap, this may be "TEAM WRESTLING", but when this match is over...consider this the one and only RARE INSTANCE...where there WILL be an 'I' in "TEAM", when I beat you, and move on to the next round.

Because that...my unadulterated-strange opponent, is a REALITY CHECK, that you just...won't like.

(Fadeout.)

 

[TheOriginalSE]

(A burst of light opens the scene as the camera is treated to what looks like a shot from an airplane. The sky is awfully blue and the clouds pop out of nowhere.

SWISHhhh...

A rainbow quickly forms across the shot ... its rays making a perfect bridge...)

"Laa, laa, la la la laaaaaaa....."

(All of a sudden Beau Michaels comes skipping across the rainbow, his midsection blurred ......)

"Oops! I forgot something!"

(Michaels reaches over and "pulls" one of the clouds into his hands ... which he then steps into. Now Michaels is standing on the rainbow ... a cloud acting as a pair of underwear .... although ....)

"Much better.... mmm yea.... There's nothing like the fresh air draping over your body..."

(Michaels starts stretching ... he stretches his arms ... twists his body to get his lower back ... and finally he turns around and touches his toes ..... his butt cheeks poking out from the computer generated cloud.)

"Ohhhhhhhh Cameron."

(Michaels gets back to his feet and faces teh camera ... as he does so some little red hearts float onto the screen and start buzzing around his head.)

"I don't know why ... but wherever I turn there you are. If I didn't know better, I would think that you're trying to get me back. Is that it, Cameron? Do you miss me?"

(Michaels places his hands over his heart and sighs.)

"I wouldn't hold it against you, Cameron ... we all know that Mercedes can't .... handle you like I can .... mmmmmmmm... that's right ... while she's out in the bathroom crying from the pain ..... you would crawl to me for the **** of your life. I know you must miss it, Cameron."

(His eyes flutter a bit as he reminisces.)

"Everyone can tell, Cameron. The way you talk about me... it turns you on, doesn't it? You always did like to roleplay.... So here we are, Cameron ... just like old times .... you're the big bad police man ... and I'm the robber you just caught.... Handcuff me, baby ... handcuff me .... and then throw me to the ground and ravage me. Just like old times...."

(The blur around his waist begins to show up again... he looks down and then back up to the camera devilishly before he reaches and packs on some more cloud ....)

"Sex in the dumpster is a new one, Cameron. I mean, we did practically everything ... showers .. in the ring before everyone got to the arena ... on top of Melton's bags .... but a dumpster ... mmmmmmm... how erotic. You're a dirty, dirty man...."

(He licks his lips...)

"And I've got just the tongue to clean you ......"

(Michaels hands slowly disappear into cloud ....)

"There may be no I in TEAM, Cameron ..... but there is MEAT ..... and I know ... I know for a fact ..... how much you love your MEAT."

(He begins to bite his lip, his eyes rolling back.. as he does this he whispers...)

"Your MEAT....."

(FADEOUT as a "CENSORED" sign comes across the screen.)