Buried

[GreggG]

(CUT TO: Troy Windham, on the back patio of his South Beach estate. His hair, as always, has been freshly frosted. His sunglasses are on, along with a Black Keys tour T-Shirt.)

TROY: "One thing I've learned in my years in this sport is that losses happen. All it takes is three seconds for a loss to occur. That's why I've developed my entire in-ring arsenal around trying to get to those three seconds as quickly as possible. I've got a ton of wins and I've got a ton of losses. I don't care about wins and losses anymore. But what I *DO* care about is my reputation... and when my reputation gets sullied, I have to do something about it."

(Troy stares at the camera.)

TROY: "My reputation was not downgraded by losing to High Flyer. My reputation took a hit by entering this dumb tournament. I should have known better than to enter this thing -- but people begged and pleaded for me to put my name in the hat because my names means asses in the seats. But this thing was RIGGED against me from the start so people who are nowhere near as talented as I am can get over."

(A boat sails past Troy in the background.)

TROY: "Let's face facts -- a lot of people... a lot of ZEROES... had the ropes held open for them so they can advance. The refs in this thing sure had a lot of fast counts and out-of-position moments for yours truly. A lot of guys like Joey Melton had walkovers in the first round. A lot of guys who can barely string a sentence together were hailed as these all-time great mic-workers whereas I supposedly was in an even battle against people in every one of my three matches. The quality of my microphone abilities is UNSURPASSED in this sport. Some guys are good. Some guys are very good. But no one -- NO ONE -- is on the level of Troy Windham."

(Troy spits.)

TROY: "I got pinned by a a pull of the tights and a dubiously fast three count. And I've limited my appearances to a handful of promotions and I've scoffed at these fly-by-night alphabet soup leagues that last for three months but along the way create people who call themselves legends and then move on to the next hellhole league with a CGI audience. The guys who have been getting the benefit of every single doubt? They're the guys IN those leagues. They're the guys who are best buddies with everyone in the locker room. The guys who never, not once, had the guts to come out and honestly say what's on their mind. People like Eli Flair and Ivy, who only have a career because they hitched their name to my stardom but bore us all to tears with hours upon hours of footage of his love interest's awful industrial metal band ranked as the 500,235,052th most popular act on iTunes. People like Cameron Cruise, a guy who has literally offered himself many times to be my slave, who sucks up to every single person he can find to get ahead. No-talents like Sean Edmunds and Anarky who brag about all of the title belts they've had through the years, who are so-called Hall of Famers, but have never once done anything on my level. People like that deaf mute Deacon, the annoying 'good guy' Holy Roller who has a very savvy manager who knows how to politick everyone to death. And... of course... people like High Flyer who are supposedly these 'serious wrestlers' but spend more time in sub-Mad TV comedy sketches than actually doing or saying anything worthwhile."

(Troy smiles.)

TROY: "This tournament from the beginning was rigged for those guy. All of them will deny this to death. But all of them know that from the beginning this was true. They're out to create a legacy at MY expense... but let's just remember that my legacy will always be unsurpassed. The Ultratitle needs me a lot more than I need the Ultratitle. They assumed I'd walk away silent from this and move on to my next starring role. But I don't walk away quietly for anything. Everything I have and done is because I did it for myself. I am still The Gold Standard and I always will be. I don't wash people's backs and I sure as hell don't have anyone washing mine. If I did, like everyone left in this tournament, then they'd have handed me that thing by now. But I don't, and I get victimized by a fast count by a guy who I wouldn't even let carry my bag for me."

(Troy smiles.)

TROY: "I don't have the washcloth to scrub a back. But what I do have is a shovel. Consider this wreck of a tournament officially buried."

(FTB)

 

[Viktor Reise]

And Robbed

Mr. Windham,

You are absolutely right. This tournament deserves to be buried and put out of its misery. When the organizers neglected to invite my charge, the German Gargant, Viktor Reise, the only thing that kept me from not even paying attention to the proceedings was the opportunity to see The Epitome solidify his legacy as the greatest of all time.

To wit, sir - I do not intend to insinuate that you would not currently fit that definition, only that the addition of the Ultratitle to your resume would cease all disagreement among the less talented competitors you are forced to associate yourself with. Your elimination from the Ultratitle tournament both sheds doubt on the competitive balance of the tournament, as well as invalidates the ultimate outcome, as it is now guaranteed that the best athlete involved will not be wrestling for the finals.

However, Mr. Windham, like me, I am sure you are a businessman, and I would like to offer a business opportunity: the chance to face off with Viktor Reise in his United States debut.

Think about my offer before you answer, Mr. Windham. Think about the opportunity. Mr. Reise is the crown jewel of the European professional wrestling landscape, and your reputation and abilities obviously speak for themselves.

A match between the Epitome, Troy Windham, and the German Gargant, Viktor Reise would - quite literally - be the most watched and most talked about match in the history of this industry.

Please advise of your decision at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,
Andrew Karrde
Official spokesman for Viktor Reise

 

[CCJ]

Re: And Robbed

Both of you suck.

That said.

Troy, Lord COOL will gladly usher your overrated, crybaby ass out the ****ing door.

For.

Good.

As for the other guy, who beat me to the punch... you can ref, because I've never heard of any of them either.

Sincerely,
Cancer Jiles
The REAL reason people stopped selling the Ultratitle as important

 

[Viktor Reise]

Re: And Robbed

Mr. Jiles,

Unfortunately, your tantrum will not give you the backstage pass you so desire: if you want to come to the show you'll have to buy a ticket like anybody else. However, Mr. Reise enjoys your enthusiasm, and would like to extend the courtesy of offering you an autographed photo of himself, free of charge.

Andrew Karrde

 

[Ford]

Re: And Robbed

**TELEGRAM TO TROY WINDHAM**

Dear Troy Windham,

You're just pissed because I hooked the tights before you had the opportunity to do so on me.

***** ***** ***** WHINE WHINE WHINE.

Enjoy the end of your career. It's coming soon enough.

Oh, I have a friend who casts for "Austin & Ally." I can give her your headshot, if they ever need a beaten up old man to fill a pedophile role.

G'DAY!

-Jack Harmen.

**END OF TELEGRAM**