FADE IN...
Bryan Storms sits cross-legged on a chair in front of a UCW backdrop. As always, he pulls his sunglasses from his face and secures them in his front shirt pocket before tilting his head up to look at the camera.
STORMS: Like I said earlier, Bob, I'm still just trembling in my Nikes. You've got me so worked up about this match, so worried that a guy like me, MCW World Champion, UCW United States champion, one of the premiere young stars in the wrestling universe, is gonna fall to a punk like you, whose greatest accomplishments are an unwatchable series of snipes with a she-male and her nympho manager and the creation of an unrecognized, unimportant, unnecessary and altogether pointless imaginary championship.
Man, Rob, the tale of the tape really tilts in your favor, doesn't it?
You want to call me old news, Robert? I'll dispute that, refute that, and I'll prove to you just what kind of breaking news I am when we meet at Revolution. You'll see that it's a bad idea to disregard a man who's as focused as I am, as talented as I am, as accomplished as I am. Especially, Rob, when the man doing the talking is a petulant, overcompensating little baby who has done exactly squat in his month-and-a-half long cosmic joke of a professional wrestling career.
I'm taking you seriously, Franklin, because I take everyone seriously. Because I've learned through my ordeals not to take any man lightly, because what you've got can be taken away in the blink of an eye. So, no matter how much I know you're nothing but a walkover, a pre-game layup, a tomato can sparring partner who gets me ready for the big fight, I'll come to Revolution with the exact same intensity you saw from me when I beat Chris McMillan for the MCW championship and Adam Benjamin for this US title. You'll get no relaxed attitude from me, Rob.
I'll come into that ring just like I always do, and I'll take care of my business. Then, I'll send embarassed, humbled little Robby back home to cry to She-Man and Delilah and whatever other crazed sexual and social degenerates you choose to associate with.
I won't be your stepping stone, kid. I'm no-one's footnote, I'm no mere mark on the path of your nonexistent destiny. I'm as real and as tough as you could hope to encounter in this company, no matter how much of a joke you think this place is. At Revolution, all of your delusions will be brought into the light, as you stare up at that ceiling and realize your defeat.
Sorry, buddy, but's that's the pure, simple, undiluted reality of the situation. On your best day, with all the help in the world, you wouldn't hold a candle to me when I was shacked up in rehab. The way I am now, you'd need God, the Devil, Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny to unleash their terrifying magic powers upon me in order to have the chance for me to maybe even get myself disqualified.
Sadly, even if Nakita and Delilah draw a pentagram on the ground and dance to gothic techno rave music while drinking the blood of mountain goats from the high plains of Micronesia, the chances of that happening just aren't that good.
So come to Revolution and bring your very best, Rob. Try and hit that home run. Except this time, you won't be serving it up for yourself. You've got a flamethrower with a nasty slider staring you down, and this closer never, ever blows a save.
By the way, Nakita, the so-called"hArBENgeRerererer of fAtE", you're so completely and utterly ridiculous and unimportant that I don't even need to regard you beyond this train of thought. Just thought I'd let you know that, you cult freak whacko.
But Rob, back to you. At Revolution, you'll look to hit it out of the park and make your mark. Problem for you is, you're gonna pull an old Casey at the Bat and go one...two...three strikes, you're out, Robby. You'll be exposed as a man who doesn't have enough ability to play in the big leagues, someone who's nothing but a fifth-rate ripoff of me two years ago.
At Revolution, Rob, there will be no joy in Mudville. You're no Mighty Casey, but you're still gonna strike out.
...FADE TO BLACK