BLACK DAWN: Olvir vs. Dahaka vs. American Idol

[DBrunkGXW]

Post all RP here.

 

[Hell_Fighter]

"The Dawn of Dahaka on the Horizon"

(The scene opens inside an undisclosed dark alleyway somewhere in Houston, Texas, not far from the Reliant Stadium some time during the early night time hours , the site of EPW Black Dawn. A shadowy female figures stands leaning up against the wall sipping on a bottle of some kind. Moving in closer, she is identified as none other than EPW Superstar, Nakita Dahaka, also known as The Dark Phenom. She is wearing red all leather attire; tight red shiny pants, matching high-heeled steel toed boots, a red leather halter top exposing her firm and ripped/muscular sexy abs and hard bust with a long black leather trench coat over it. The bottle she is sipping out of is a bottle of Vodka.)

Nakita Dahaka: (Takes another large swig of the Vodka as she looks up at the sky to speak.) Congrats Cameron Cruise. You managed to pull out a win over The Dark Phenom. I must applaud and commend you for the valiant victory. However, I fail to see just how much that your victory was supposed to be my quote "REALITY CHECK" unquote. You may of beaten me, but I tore you a new one. I had you at my mercy. I saw it in your eyes, and maybe that was my mistake. Rather than go in for the final kill, I opted to play with you some more like a kitten playing with a ball, and you capitalized on it didn't you. Did you really beat me, or did you simply SURVIVE against me? Cameron, the only thing that you did was escape your fate. Mark my words, the next time we cross paths, I will finish what I started last week on Aggression 35. But I am in no hurry. Time is always on my side and your blood will PAINT THE PICTURE AND TELL THE STORY of The Harbinger of Fate, but for now you are a chapter for another time.

(Nakita pauses as she takes another large drink from the bottle of vodka before continuing on turning her attention fully on the camera directly in front of her.)

Nakita: Moving on to the subject of upcoming EPW Pay-Per-View, Black Dawn when I once again lock up against the likes of Olvir Arsvinnar. Twice I have fought you and twice I have beat you, but it wasn't a truly proven victory. Never conclusive or decided, and now we aim to lock up for a third time next week at Black Dawn here in Houston, Texas. I have never backed down from you and I have taken a lot. I have escaped from your grimy, perverted clutches and even managed to leave my mark on you in the process, but even that isn't enough. I wanna finish what I started in Tuscan, Arizona...

(Nakita pauses as she looks down at the Vodka bottle in her hand glistening and gleaming in the bright city lights. Suddenly Nakita takes the bottle and smashes it over her head. Vodka splashes all over her face and even some drops land on the front of the camera. Shards of glass shatter all over the place. A large gash opens up immediately on Nakita's forehead as blood begins to seep and pour out down her face. Her blood begins to coat down slowly but still her piercing beautiful green eyes peer back into the camera with a unrelenting fire as she begins again without skipping another beat.)

...You've made me bleed a a little bit. I've made you bleed quite a bit, but when I set foot in that ring against you again. I will make you bleed even more. I will make you feel true pain and agony. I will remove...no...cut off all that you hold dear Viking giant. You will beg for mercy. I will be the one that truly puts you in the uncomfortable position and rape you. Then when it is all said and done, our fight will finally be over and I will write it all and make certain that it is chronicled in my gospel for all to see. Your life maybe be as memorable as a fart in the wind...a vapor if you will, but your fate will be sealed and you will be nothing more than another chapter and verse toward my ascent to my godhood. So come Black Dawn, make me hurt and make me bleed but everything that you do to me I will inflict that much more upon you. Arsvinnar.

Now moving on to the other individual thrown into this match, the American Idol. What the hell? Fox hasn't sued his ass for copyright infringement yet? I guess the EPW thought that you needed a debut match to help get your feet wet and officially welcome you into the federation and that's all fine and dandy because that means more precious little lambs to my slaughter. Okay listen up Clay Aiken. Hear my words right now. The beating that I have done to you will make you think the words of Simon Cowell were as smooth as silk dipped in happy fun chocolate. You have never seen brutally honest, but when you set foot in the ring against me, you will come to know of only one true word that describes me...

BRUTAL...

You will bleed. You will feel true pain that is so severe that you will think that you were deep within the burning bowels of the darkest recesses of hell, and no I am not talking about listening to the American Idol auditions. Hell itself will engulf you and her name is Nakita Dahaka.

So out of Black Dawn, I will rise from the depths and take my true place...

So it is said...

Let it be known...

So it shall come to pass...

It is written...

Let it be known...

Another chapter and verse...

According to MY GOSPEL....

(The voice of the cameraman speaks out from behind the camera to Nakita.)

"Ah Nakita?"

Nakita: Ah yes...make it quick.

"Now that this promo has concluded, shouldn't you go and have that nasty gash looked at?"

(Nakita takes a swipe with her hand wiping her brow and then looking at the blood before responding according.)

"I suppose your right. Maybe I should."

(Nakita walks away down the alley and disappears in the darkness as the scene cuts to a fast forwarding graphic first person view of the camera going from the alley all the way over to the Reliant Stadium and then fades out as it shows the EPW logo and the information of Black Dawn pay per view on the screen.)

 

[RStrawsma]

Valhalla Productions 104 - The Dominator of Ass-Gard

(Fade in inside the notorious House of Arsvinnar where a celebration is taking place. The Naughty Norseman’s entourage are currently engaged in the most debauch of parties, involving a lot of scantily clad, voluptuous women running about and giggling while Olvir’s dwarven servants chase them like satyr’s pursuing nymphs. Many partake in the drinking of wine and mead which is passed through the longhouse in large jugs that are plentiful in number.)

VALHALLA PRODUCTION COMPANY​

Presents​

(The camera slowly zooms through this orgy of festivities, focused on the throne at the end of the hall, whereupon sits the mighty Viking lord who laughs with much haughtiness and pride.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!!

OLVIR ARSVINNAR​

In​

(Guzzling down a great helping of mead from his horn, the Great Olvir snaps his fingers. He is soon met by a young, endowed lady who takes great delight in being his presence. Olvir’s eyes go wide as he fixates on the region below the neck and above the waist, which is bountiful.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Come, noble woman! My BEARD wishes to taste you!

(The Viking promptly yanks her forward, stuffs his fur-covered face between both globes, and motorboats the living hell out of it.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
BRBL-BRBL-BRBL-BRBL-BRBL-BRBL!!

"THE DOMINATOR OF ASS-GARD"​

​

(Olvir releases the girl, who staggers away, red-faced. The Viking lord throws his head back and releases a mighty guffaw.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!!

(The camera pulls out a bit to reveal more of the scene. Flanking him are seasoned reporter Mojo Massey and Olvir’s prized servant, Misakeyu, who stand to his right and left respectively. Mojo gazes over the libidinal merriment around him in wonder. He’s the only person in the room wearing more than one article of clothing, after all.)

Mojo!
Dang, Olvir… this is some shindig you’re throwing. What’s the occasion?

Olvir Arsvinnar
We celebrate my GREAT VICTORY, Moyo the Short!! It was there, in the city of the Great Oceanless Plains, where the Great Olvir decisively DOMINATED his opponent, and was pronounced the WINNER for the first time since his much-anticipated coming to Empire Pro!

Many came to doubt my awesome strength as match after match, victory eluded me through trivial means! Though I was never defeated, the fools came to believe that I was nothing but a HOAX!! But NOW, having pinned the idiotic King of the Streets, I have PROVEN that I am a man of my word! This marks the BEGINNING of Olvir’s reign of dominance!!

Mojo!
Well, it’s obvious you’re very proud of your performance… though I’m sure some would say that anybody could beat Ice Tre… especially with a little outside interference to help you out.

Olvir Arsvinnar
Those you speak of are PUNY, man of a thousand trivial questions! Let them stand across from ME in the arena, and we shall see if they CONTINUE to doubt my unstoppable power!

Let it be known… to ALL who persist in the questioning of my greatness… that the Great Olvir, the BUTT-DOMINATOR, the Father of a Thousand Bastards, is coming to BRING them an answer!! HA HA HA HA!!

(To top off this haughty moment, he tips back the horn for a sip… but finds it empty. He looks to his left, where the petite Japanese woman stands ready and waiting, almost robotically.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Misakeyu… refill my horn!

(For no inexplicable reason, Misakeyu turns her head to Mojo, opens her mouth, and…)

Misakeyu
BLEEECCHH~~!!!

(…pukes all over him. Adjusted to this trend, Mojo simply grimaces and wipes himself clean with a handkerchief. Misakeyu takes Olvir’s horn and exits the frame with it in hand. Mojo cleans himself, and continues with the questions without missing a beat. THAT’S the sign of a true reporter: the one that gets PUKED ON and just keeps on doing his job without complaint. Seriously, somebody give this guy a medal!)

Mojo!
So, Great Olvir… leaving this victory behind, what lies further down the road for professional wrestling’s ONLY pornographic Viking?

Olvir Arsvinnar
I’m glad you have presented this query to the me, Moyo the Puny! You see, the great, all-seeing eye of Olvir gazes out across the horizon, further than any many has witnessed… and at the far edges of the world, he sees the sun rise. It is dawn… a BLACK DAWN, and I anticipate its coming like a warrior on the battlefield waits for the battle!

Mojo!
Naturally, you must be referring to the upcoming Empire Pro Wrestling Pay Per Event of the same name. I took a glance at the card, and saw you were billed to compete in yet another triple threat match. One of your opponents goes by the moniker “American Idol,” though word backstage is that he’s not a stranger to Empire Pro. And then in the other hand, you have an opponent that by now, you’re all too familiar with… Nakita Dahaka.

Olvir Arsvinnar
Hmm… the weak, puny women that believes she can fight at the level of strong, burly men! Long she has promised to defeat and pin the GREATNESS that is Olvir… and every time, she has FAILED!!

Mojo!
Well, you are right to point out that she’s never pinned you before… but you seem to be overlooking the fact that you’ve never quite pinned her yet.

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!! Yes, puny Moyo… that is a fact. But you do not know the entire story!

The only reason WHY this harmless fawn has SURVIVED as long as she has is because the Great Olvir has ALLOWED her to! Before, the Greatness that is OLVIR was merely TOYING with her… letting her believe she had the STRENGTH to overcome my awesome power and knock me down!

Mojo!
But Olvir, why would you do that? I mean, if you could have just as easily beaten her this entire time, why didn’t you just get it out of the way at your first encounter, and move on to other challenges?

Olvir Arsvinnar
MERCY, small one! A weak, defenseless CHILD-BEARER is not WORTHY of being smote by my great power! It is equal to hunting down a SICK ANIMAL, or challenging a man with NO ARMS to a duel! The Great Olvir had HOPED this pathetic SEED-TAKER would come to understand her own inferiority, and walk her separate path!

But THEN, as I viewed the window of my MAGIC BOX your people call a “High Definition Flatscreen TV,” I bore witness to this daring vixen’s bold threats and hollow claims!

Mojo!
Yes, she had some strong words to say to you in that last promo… in fact, at one point saying that she would be the one to rape you.

(Thunder BOOMS through the mead hall as Olvir the Butt-Dominator rockets to his feet. A hush falls over his servants as he stands defiantly before the throne with his arms crossed over his chest.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Rape… me?? THE GREAT OLVIR!! The woman is MAD, Man of the Metal Phallus! Years of constant STRUGGLE and DEFEAT have driven her insane, to the point where she does not see her own DESTRUCTION looming before her like a shadowy sun rising above the mountains!

(He looks into the camera… directly addressing his opponents.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
FEEBLE CHILD-BEARER…

Do you truly think the GREAT OLVIR is no stranger to the concepts of pain, agony, and bleeding? Such things are COMMONPLACE on the battlefield, and are the NORM in a Viking’s life. I laugh at the prospect of pain and agony, because such sensations are just reminders that the Great Olvir is alive! Bleeding is a bodily function as routine as pissing… and sometimes, I do both at the same time!

Mojo!
…ew!

Olvir Arsvinnar
You words are MEANINGLESS to me, puny woman… because you NEVER back them up! Twice, you have promised to stifle my greatness, and both times, I CONQUERED you, being only generous enough to spare you the humiliation and defeat suffered by pinfall! In addition, countless other opponents have done battle with you in the arena… and yet, so FEW ever become chapters to your “gospel!” You always speak of “pain and agony,” never fully realizing that YOU are the only one who feels such things as you continue to flounder pitifully in this MAN’S sport! It is as if you willingly IGNORE your own WEAKNESS… and still, you stand there and arrogantly speak of making me “beg for mercy,” as if you have not learned anything from your previous failings.

How is it that you believe THIS TIME will be different??

Do you think you can strike FEAR into the heart of the Great Olvir?? You are as intimidating as a docile COW being led to a slaughter to feed greater men!! The rashes on the Great Olvir’s LOINS bring me more cause for concern than YOU do!!

Know this, ignoble wench… THIS time, you will not need to fear being carried off in the great, mighty hands of this Viking warrior! After learning that you are nothing more than a BRAINLESS PRUDE, the Great Olvir has decided that you are NOT WORTHY enough to carry my powerful SEED, and would most likely DIE upon feeling the TRUE pain and agony that would fall upon you as my righteous BASTARD escapes your parched womb! My single intent as we enter the arena for the third time is to DESTROY you in the same manner as I have destroyed SO MANY before you, and to leave you beaten, broken, humbled, and DEFEATED in the center of the ring!!

Maybe then, UNCLEAN STRUMPET, if you BEG the me long enough, I will expose you to the GREATNESS of my LOINS, and dominate your HIND until the UNMATCHABLE PLEASURE overcomes your mind and you SCREAM my almighty name!! Let THAT be your gospel!

(The camera pulls out again to bring Mojo back into the frame. Olvir seats himself upon the throne, and the celebration picks up again as though nothing had ever happened. Misakeyu comes back into the frame, giving the Viking his newly filled mead horn. Olvir takes a long gulp and throws his head back, guffawing in pagan euphoria.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!!

Mojo!
Wow, Olvir… you certainly sound serious this time around!

Olvir Arsvinnar
Indeed, I AM serious, because I tire of the frequent DOUBTS in the minds of such feeble peasants that ENVY my greatness!! You would do well to remember, Moyo the Miniscule, that the Great Olvir is a man of good humor who LOVES to laugh at an occasional jest. But underestimate my WRATH, and you will live to regret it! That holds true for ANY man or woman!
Mojo!
Well… you’ve spoken your mind on Dahaka… but what about the third person in this match, the American Idol? First of all, have you ever seen the show?

Olvir Arsvinnar
Hmm… the Great Olvir recalls being introduced to such a program… but was immediately TURNED OFF by the preposterous lack of COMBAT and FACIAL HAIR!! Your “American Idol” is nothing but a senseless competition of PUNY, HAIRLESS MEN trying to prove their greatness by singing like GIRLS!!

Is THIS to be the same “American Idol” that will step into the arena, in the mighty presence of the GREATNESS that is OLVIR?! I am NOT daunted by the prospect of fighting a BEARDLESS GELDING!! He may call himself the “Idol” of this land called America… but he will soon come to find that OLVIR is the Idol of the ENTIRE WORLD!!

Mojo!
Actually, the guy who won the World Idol competition was Kurt Nilsen… from Norway.

Olvir Arsvinnar
AHA!! LEAVE IT TO A SCANDINAVIAN to show the ENTIRE WORLD that the VIKINGS are the most dominant form of man!

Mojo!
In any case… there are a LOT of people out there on the internet saying that the American Idol revealed his identity over in TEAM’s Invitational Tournament… and he’s none other than “Phenomenal” Frankie Scott! Scott, of course, hasn’t been seen or heard from since his short-lived alliance with “The Phenom” Shawn Hart and a forgettable win over “Yours Truly” Adam Benjamin. As a matter of interest, Scott was also involved with Dahaka’s close friend, Delilah… so I wouldn’t be surprise if there was still a little animosity left over from Wrestleverse.

Olvir Arsvinnar
HMPH!! You speak of events that took place BEFORE the coming of Olvir! It is of no concern to me. Let the wretched whore and this “Frankie Scott” destroy each other if they must. In the end, the UNENDING GREATNESS that is OLVIR shall reign SUPREME over all!!

HA HA HA HA!!

(Olvir has another hearty sip of his mead. Noticing that Mojo is sticking out like a sore thumb, he delivers a manly slap to the reporter’s back that nearly knocks him to the ground.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Come, humble Moyo!! The Black Dawn of DOMINANCE that awaits in Houston is still many days away! DRINK!! FEAST!! FORNICATE!! BE MERRY!!

Mojo!
Ah… that’s okay, Olvir, I don’t think my fiancée would approve of me—

Olvir Arsvinnar
MISAKEYU!!

Mojo!
Damnit…

Misakeyu
BBLLEEECCHH~~!!

(As you very well guessed, she blows chunks all over Mojo, who at this point, just takes it without even putting up a fight.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Show our GUEST what pleasures await him in BED of TWENTY VIRGINS!!

Mojo!
WHUT?!

Misakeyu
BBLEEECCHH~!!!

(Before the reporter can protest, Misakeyu points a finger at him while dousing him in another cascade of green puke. As this happens, a number of Olvir’s sex slaves grab Mojo by the arms and carry him out of the frame. Olvir yanks one of them back onto his lap by the thong, and laughs MIGHTILY as he clumsily throws back his mead horn.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!!

(Fade to black.)

 

[American Idol]

OOC: (I'm sorry guys. I had this weekend all planned to promo my butt off. But, my wife shocked me by asking me out on a date. It was nice.)



(A limousine pulls up into the parking lot of Empire Pro Wrestling headquarters. The driver opens the door for the man formerly known as “Phenomenal” Frankie Scott. Scott exits the limo and the driver continues to hold the door open for Scott’s gorgeous manager/valet also formerly known as Delilah Demonik. The driver closes the door and runs to open the front door to the EPW offices. Frankie and Delilah walk through and are met by an EPW aide.)
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>
“Hello Mr. Scott. My name is Kim. We’ve been waiting for you. Let me show you to the new soundstage.”
<o></o>
“New.. soundstage? So this is what I come back to after five months of being gone? Ryan builds a soundstage. Great.”
<o></o>
“Yes sir. It’s state of the art. Different backgrounds and sound. Mr. Ryan came up with the whole idea. It’s amazing.”
<o></o>
“I’m sure it is.”
<o></o>
“Well. I will let you two go ahead and get started.”
<o></o>
(sarcastically) “Yeah, thanks. Tell Danny that he is just the bomb.”
<o></o>
<o></o>
(Frankie and Delilah stand in front of a green background. But, as they look at the high definition television screen that stands to the side of them. They see that the background is an EPW banner waving in the background.)
<o></o>
“How moronic is this? “
<o></o>
“Baby, just go ahead. This soundstage is the least of your worries.”
<o></o>
“Yeah, I know. It just disgusts me… Speaking of disgusting me. Let me start with one circus freak that just doesn’t seem to go away. She’s like a bad fungus. Yes, Yes, Yes… Nikita. I’m talking about you. It’s nice to see that not much has changed since I’ve been gone. Five long months and you have kept me on the EPW radar. You continued to lament over me. Match in and match out… “
<o></o>
“I’ve been in your head since day one. Embracing your inner high school crush. While believing that you had ended my career and Delilah’s, you profess that you had moved past me. But every other word or thought in every single promo had Frankie Scott in it. The only idol you have ever wanted to worship is me!”
<o></o>
“Nikita! I didn’t come back here to rehash old wounds. I came back to inflict pain on all of those that just went about their business and didn’t give a rat’s ass about what had happened to me. It was just business as usual.”
<o></o>
“When I was “Phenomenal”… I worried about what other people in the back and in the office were thinking about me. Well now.. THEY CAN ALL KISS MY ASS!!”
<o></o>
“Just business as usual, huh Danny? Not a word. Not a phone call, a card, a letter, a fax, a text message, an email or even a damn smoke signal!! Lord knows that I offered up the latter to you. My house burned down because of you and your company. Well, Dan Ryan you can kiss..my..ass!”
<o></o>
“Getting back to you, Nikita. You psycho b****. Kinda freaks you out a little hearing Frankie Scott use a few swear words, huh? Well, the Frankie Scott you remember and Frankie Scott that moistens your panties isn’t here anymore! He burned up in the fire!!”
<o></o>
“There is no more Phenom. No more Phenomenal One. No more Team Phenom! There is only the American Idol! No..not some singing performing retard in front of some has been, or a drunk whore, or a limey bastard! I am Primetime! I am Showtime! I am Must See Mondays… all the way to Must See Sundays! I am the true American Idol! The one you wish you had never met or felt yourself up over while watching past matches that you had with him.”
<o></o>
“What I’m trying to say is that you had it so easy. I wasn’t half the man I am now. I’ve learned a lot in five months. And what I have learned in that time will be your undoing! When the dust has settled and the smoke has cleared, you will be making many arrangements to retire and settle down with that joke of a demon master you call a leader or a manager.”
<o></o>
“By the way, Nikita. Take this invitation any way you want it. You can kiss my ass too!”
<o></o>
(Frankie turns toward Delilah)
<o></o>
“Baby, Is there anything you want to say to the circus freak?”
<o></o>
“No. I will respond when the time is right.”
<o></o>
(Frankie turns back toward the camera)
<o></o>
“Alrighty then… Let me get something off my chest before I respond to Ollie, King of all uninspired psychosomatic wet dreams.”
<o></o>
“ To my co-workers and to the officials and to the whiny b****es of EPW. You can KISS MY ASS!!”
<o></o>
“Rocko Daymon… Kiss my ass!
Ice Tre… Kiss my ass!
Beast… Kiss my ass!
Lindsay Troy… Kiss My Ass!
Irish…James AND Red… Both can Kiss my ass!! “
<o></o>
“Shawn Jessica Hart… Words aren’t enough for you.. at least not right now. Ol’ buddy… Ol’ pal… You too can Kiss My Ass!”

“Let me not… leave out my biggest pain in my career… Sarge! You secret swastika lovin’, overbearing, egocentric undeserving title holder of the EPW. Please! Be the next in line behind Dan Ryan to KISS MY ASS!! Title or not. Watch your back, bro!”
<o></o>
(Frankie walks off the site followed by Delilah, who calms him down away from the camera. A few minutes later, Frankie returns to the stage.)
<o></o>
“Ollie.. Lest I forget about you! Dominator of All Butts, big and small… brown… white… yellow… pink… green… hairy… unhairy… pimply…vomit covered.. Awww forget it! We know the shtick. You speak as you have your mouth full of well hung balls. Your dress is that of a mighty transvestite valkyrie. How many sexually transmitted diseases can one Jester of Valhalla have? “
<o></o>
“You call me a gelding?”
<o></o>
(Frankie looks over at Delilah)
<o></o>
“You are definitely not a gelding, baby.”
<o></o>
“Trust me. She knows.”
<o></o>
(Frankie looks back at the camera.)
<o></o>
“Gelding? I’m not entering this match to have a d*ck measuring contest. We both know that Nikita would win anyway."
"Listen clearly.. I want you to abstain from all alcohol, drugs and sexual activity for at least eight hours. I know it will be tough for someone like you. But, I want you clear for this match. No coming back later telling some old school jobber turned rag tag journalist that you weren’t in shape for such an immense ass beating.”
<o></o>
“Ollie. I smite you… Alllll mighty smiter!! You and Nikita will return to the rocks that you have long crawled out from under. I did not come back to EPW to lose on my first match back. I came back to be worshipped as I should have all along!”
<o></o>
“C’mon baby. Let’s get out of here!”
<o></o>
(Frankie and Delilah walk away from the camera arm in arm. The last thing heard is the heavy thud of the slamming door behind them.)

 

[Hell_Fighter]

"You make me...wanna slam my head against the wall."

(The scene opens up inside an undisclosed psychiatric ward in Houston, Texas. Inside a white roomed cell with only one entrance leading inside. Peaking through the window, we see, "The Dark Phenom" Nakita Dahaka. She has a large band-aide on her head from the gash that she made earlier. She has locked herself in this room...by the looks of things willingly as she is wearing a straight jacket repeatedly throwing herself up against the wall in this cell over and over again as hard as she can. She gets one final running start and takes off running for the opposite wall hitting it full force in the head. She hits the wall knocking herself down flat on her back. She gazes up at the ceiling starring off into blank space with some euphoric like trance as the camera towers over her head in a first person/"god's view" aerial looking down on her. It zooms in closely on her face like as if she has much to say and starts to speak and get things out in the opening. Nakita is sweating as it would reveals that she has been doing this for a while now and breathing heavily, but in a controlled fashion.)

Nakita Dahaka: I bet you all are wondering why I am here in this psychiatric ward so close to Black Dawn. I willingly checked myself in here to help me vent with a few things that I have recently discovered about one of my two upcoming opponents for the pay-per-view. I locked myself in her, threw on this straight jacket and I attacked this room so to speak. Don't worry, I can check out at any time that I wish just as long as I deal with a couple of rashes that I have to scratch.

(She sits up as the camera positions itself now in front of her.)

Nakita: So it appears like my past has come back to haunt me again, like a contagious STD. That's right, I just called the man formally known as Frankie Scott and that backstabbing slut of his, Delilah an STD. You both are my Herpes. Just when I think that I have you both beat, you always keep coming back into my life...

Newsflash Delilah, you think that I keep living in the past. Man you both have been gone a little too long. I had already forgotten about you. I was ready to move on. In fact I had done exactly that. You now came back with this AMERICAN IDOL moniker and for what your still the same. Your still the backstabbing ***** who screwed me and left me for HIM, and he is the man that has been the constant thorn festering in my side, and now your back again.

Before, I thought that you were just some unoriginal rip off begging to get sued by Fox. I honestly had no idea that you were The American Idol. Now that I know the truth about you. Frankly that makes this match mean more to me than any other match that I have had. This will be the match to end them all. I will make you both bleed and when it is all said and done the only left of the two of you will be footnotes in my gospel. Your blood will spill all over my pages and that I will finally be done with you and ready to move on.

I'm tired of fighting you. I just wanna end you once and for all and at Black Dawn, Fate will finally eclipse and engulf you. I don't care how many swear words that Frankie uses these days. I don't care what he's using these day. He's still the same as I've seen him before...DEAD MEAT WALKING! Your born dead, your a zombie and I'm your final resting place. Let Black Dawn be the final resting place and epitaph of Frankie Scott and Delilah.

(Nakita stands up to her feet and begins pacing back and forth while speaking.)

Nakita: Enough of them, lets talk about my other over sized, steroid riddled thorn in my side, Olivr Arsvinnar. I know that your big, dumb, and you have the speed of a tectonic plate, but if you think that your escaping Black Dawn unscathed you have another thing coming. You have yet to crush me Olivr, and both times I prevailed against you. I have a victory over you. It doesn't matter if you win by a squash or a screw job, winning is and always will be winning. I escaped you before and I made you bleed, and I will make you bleed even more. When I am done with you, the only thing left will be your dry, rotting, lifeless corpse and The Harbinger of Fate standing over you victorious when the dust has settled. All of my critics will be silences and when it is all said and done I will be well on my way to the very top of the EPW, and if I should sell my soul to a devil...again, then I will do exactly that.

And with that said I say unto you...

So it is said...

Let it be known...

So it shall come to pass...

It is written...

Another chapter and verses...

According to MY GOSPEL...

The Gospel of Nakita Dahaka...

(The scene slowly fades out on the evil green eyes of Nakita Dahaka.)

 

[American Idol]

(In front of the usual EPW banner fastened to the usual sheet of drywall stands “American Idol” Frankie Scott. The camera starts rolling.)
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>
“I’m gonna get straight to the point. I’m not wasting any time. Ollie and Nikki aren’t worth it. Nikita, by watching your promo, you haven’t chosen to forget me. You tell me that you have moved on in one sentence and then you come back a few words later telling me that after I bleed you will finally be done and can move on. Tell the truth, your eyes lit up just knowing that I was back. Or was it fear?”
<o></o>
“Ya know something? If fear was snow, you would be a walking blizzard. Coming down in mass quantities. Not showing any signs of letting up. That’s right. You do fear me. You thought you were on the way to making it an easy career in EPW. Now that I have come back, you now fear that you won’t get out of undercard status. You’re right. You won’t. I go full steam ahead into World Champion status while you will still sit in your padded room wearing your Christian Dior straitjacket. Enjoy the penthouse suite, bi***.”
<o></o>
(While Frankie moves around, the camera follows)
<o></o>
“What are the footnotes of your gospel, Nikita? Do you even know? Hell, I used cliff notes and didn’t understand a word of your gibberish. You aren’t misunderstood. You are just plain ignored. I’m sorry that I can’t be that father figure you keep hoping I would be. Giving you attention that you so scream for. But, how much did it bug you when your daddy would show up in your room at all hours of the night looking for his little girl, reeking of English Leather, Wild Turkey and Benson & Hedges. Where were those nights in your gospel?”
<o></o>
“Using herpes as a clouding of your judgment? You and Ollie are more alike than I thought. You two are the ones sharing an evening with a cask of wine and a heated case of syphilis. Maybe Ollie can be your daddy. You have already sold your soul to the highest bidder and I’m cashing your soul in at Black Dawn. I’m not leaving that ring until you are bloody and battered.”
<o></o>
(Frankie stands still in front of the EPW banner.)
<o></o>
“Ollie, I haven’t forgotten you. Listen, you poster boy for hepatitis. I seriously doubt that penicillin works for you anymore. Your cliff notes weren’t much better than Nikki’s. In fact, there were more pictures than there were words. I’ll admit you are one big mother. But, your stench is worse. It’s like the splashboard of a urinal at an airport bathroom. Urine, sperm, fecal matter and vomit all throughout your living space.”
<o></o>
“I’ll get serious though. I won’t look past either one of you. I’ve seen how tough each of you are in the ring. I am ready though. I’m ready to show the world that I am better than the both of you put together. I’m already a step ahead of the both you.. I can speak in complete sentences. So, I can obviously string together a few wrestling moves to drop the both of you to another loss on each of your records. Black Dawn is where I regain my rightful position at the top!”
<o></o>
<o></o>
<o></o>

 

[RStrawsma]

Valhalla Productions 105 - Scandinavian Sodomy in Space City

(We fade in on Mojo Massey in the window seat of a passenger train coming into Houston. He looks like he’s had a rough weekend, which probably explains why he decided to arrive by rail instead of plane. Though unshaven, pallid, and looking like he’s been without a couple days’ rest, he seems to finally be taking things easy.)

Train Conductor
Now approaching Houston, Texas. Estimated time of arrival… fifteen minutes.

(Mojo checks his watch for the time and breathes a sigh of relief. To pass what time remains until arrival, he picks up a wrestling insider magazine that has a photo promoting the main event of Black Dawn on the cover.)

(Unbeknownst to him… a set of words pop up on the screen.)

VALHALLA PRODUCTION COMPANY​

Presents​

(Absently, he flips through the pages of his magazine, taking half a second to glance out the window… and suddenly double-takes. Rather than seeing the Texas landscape passing by, he finds himself looking directly into a set of intense blue eyes peeking over a red bandana that barely covers the massive blond beard beneath it. Massey is completely horrified.)

Mojo!
You’ve got to be KIDDING ME!!

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!!

OLVIR ARSVINNAR​

In​

(The camera cuts to a flyby shot following the train. Keeping right beside the fast-moving Amtrak is OLVIR ARSVINNAR’S diesel-powered dragon ship. The Viking Lord himself stands at the starboard side of his vessel, peering into Mojo’s window. At the wheel in back, Misakeyu mans the wooden land-rover to keep up with the train’s speed. Cue the standard Olvir porno music… with a bit of a Wild West feel.)

"SCANDINAVIAN SODOMY IN SPACE CITY"​

​

(Back to the action, we see the dragon ship pull back to the last car of the train, where the rear door is plainly visibly. With a rebel yell, Olvir charges up the dragon-headed bow of his ship and dives shoulder-first into the door…)

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA!!

(…knocking it right off its hinges and tumbling on board the train. A coach car full of bewildered passengers look to the rear to see the Viking-Cowboy that came unexpectedly crashing in. Olvir looks dressed to rob rather than raid… sporting a pair of chaps to go with the bandana, and a ten-gallon hat complete with two large steer horns sticking out of the sides. Though not his typical attire, he didn’t forget to bring his battle axe.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
This is a STICK UP… with my D*CK UP!! Feel the WRATH of the GREAT OLVIR! HA HA HA HA!!

(Without hesitation, the berserker charges forward, randomly picking out passengers to yank out of their seat and toss aside like rag dolls. Passengers are blasted aside as he makes a beeline through the car, kicking down the door to the next one. Mojo is already out of his seat looking like he’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown.)

Mojo!
Olvir, what the HELL are you doing?!

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!! The Great Olvir only does what any Viking in his right mind WOULD DO in this WILD, WILD land called TEXAS!!

They say the WOMENFOLK here prefer a good sturdy BULL to ride on!

(On cue, he nabs a nearby female passenger out of her seat and slings her over his shoulder in a single, fluid motion, as if it were as routine to him as strapping up his furry leather boots.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!!

(With his trademark over-masculine guffaw, the Greatness that is Olvir makes a complete 180 and resumes his streak of senseless violence as he makes his way toward the end of the train. The camera pans back to Mojo, who releases a hopeless sigh.)

Mojo!
Guess that means I’m on again…

(From the void of space, a microphone is thrown into the frame and bumps off his forehead, landing into his hands. Reminded of his sense of duty, he begins running after the Viking, excusing his way through the casualties left behind. He eventually comes to the open door, where Olvir makes a dynamic leap from the train to the dragon ship with the woman still held over his shoulder. Seemingly overtaken by this amazing feat, Mojo is a bit more reluctant to follow.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Yump, Talk-Man!! YYYUUUUUMMMP!!

(Mojo makes a leap of faith, performing what must undoubtedly be the most daunting feat a reporter’s ever pulled off on a promo. Through the magic of video editing, the camera man is magically teleported safely to the deck of the ship, where Olvir stands triumphant, tugging the bandana off his face and revealing the broad grin beneath it.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA HA HA HA!! Consider yourselves CONQUERED, puny bovine people!! PECOS OLVIR is the FASTEST C*CK in the west!!

(Olvir’s Viking-Cowboy midget servants get to work as the Viking hands off his captive to be taken to his on-board bedchamber. The Dominator of Many Hind strips off the chaps with the bandana and tosses them aside, exchanging the steer-horned cowboy hat for his regular Viking helmet. In full regalia, he points to the wheel…)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Misakeyu… TAKE THE GREAT OLVIR to the arena where VICTORY awaits him!!

Misakeyu
BLEEECHHH~~!!!

(Mojo looks up in time to see a firehose of green regurgitation jet into the frame and hit him directly in the face, knocking the poor bastard ass-first onto the deck.)

(We cut to a few minutes later, just outside of Reliant Stadium, being set up for the big event tonight. The crowd of fans lining up to get inside parts as Olvir’s dragon ship pulls through and finds a place to park outside the staff entrance. A plank lowers moments later, and Olvir majestically bounds from the deck to the pavement, followed by the tenacious opponent. A crowd of women gasp, some frightened and others wanting. Olvir laughs heartily as a barrage of underwear reins upon him. We see an oversized pair of Granny-Pants slap Mojo in the face.)

(Poor Moj… always gonna be abused to make comic relief.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
The air is RIPE with sweet, defenseless VIRGINITY!! Tonight’s celebration will be ONE to remember!!

(Mojo rips the underwear from his face as he follows Olvir into the building.)

Mojo!
TRAIN ROBBERY, Olvir?!

Olvir Arsvinnar
Train-PILLAGING, more like it! The Great Olvir can barely CONTAIN his anticipation for tonight’s battle!

Mojo!
Might I recommend medication?? I mean, no offense, Great Olvir, but normal people don’t live this way through their day to day life. You think you could tone it down just a bit?

Olvir Arsvinnar
IMPOSSIBLE!! The Wrath of a Norseman can NEVER be restrained!! What sets the Vikings above all other puny men is that they live without control or limits! We are UNTAMED BEASTS, led by our NATURAL INSTINCT to satisfy our every pleasure!

TONIGHT… my urges drive me into a FRENZY the likes of which I have not known for a thousands years! I can SMELL the carnage that will fall upon the battlefield, and I EAGERLY await the opportunity to dominate the FOOLS that dared believe they could DESTROY the Greatness that is OLVIR!!

Mojo!
Okay, then… why is it, exactly, that your testosterone levels are going haywire?

Olvir Arsvinnar
Did you not see my opponents on the TEE-VEE!? The SOW has locked herself in her chamber to throw her childish tantrums undisturbed! The “IDOL” has seemingly forgotten about me entirely… choosing instead to speak of an odorous fool known as “Ollie!”

Mojo!
I think he was referring to—

Olvir Arsvinnar
AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, they HATE each other more than the great gods LOKI and THOR!!

Mojo!
…well, yeah, there’s the Delilah situation, but—

Olvir Arsvinnar
DO YOU KNOW… why Vikings thrived in times of war??

Mojo!
…well, if I had to take an educated guess, I’d say the economic structure at the time—

Olvir Arsvinnar
BECAUSE, Moyo the STUMPY… when two kingdoms were at war, they waged COUNTLESS battles that weakened their armies and fortresses! When the battles had ended, the only victors were the RAIDERS that came in and DOMINATED their crippled, defenseless cities!

…

Mojo!
…

Olvir Arsvinnar
…

Mojo!
…

…so I take it you’re comparing that with this current situation, in where you have—

Olvir Arsvinnar
JUST LIKE the BUTCH B*TCH and the GIRLY GELDING!!! HA HA HA HA!!

Mojo!
Ugh… I’m sorry I asked.

I take it their recent comments did nothing to weaken your already swelling confidence.

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA!! Their attempts to strike FEAR in the heart of the FEARLESS brought a great bellow throughout my mead hall!

The bat-sighted CHILD-BEARER continues to make hollow promises… even CLAIMS to have “prevailed” over that which CANNOT be prevailed!

Mojo!
Well, technically, she does hold a win over you…

…although if I rightly recall, that was only because you were pressing her FOOT down onto her back while she was lying on top of Cameron Cruise.

Olvir Arsvinnar
Yes, Moyo, you DO recall rightly!! How is it that a PUNY TALK-MAN such as yourself can remember what is true, but this foolish COW cannot?!

Mojo!
Well, it is my job.

Olvir Arsvinnar
More than once, the Great Olvir was generous enough to spare her hide of COMPLETE and UTTER DOMINATION… but it appears as though she has learned NOTHING from my gestures of mercy! Such INSOLENCE cannot go unpunished.

TONIGHT… if she fulfills her promise to make me bleed, then I will only stand looming before her, looking down through the crimson liquid FIRE that covers every inch of me, and TELL HER to bring the MAIN COURSE!! Believe me, Moyo the ANT… anyone can bleed upon the battlefield. But to make one SCREAM in more ways than ONE, whether it be from pain, or fear, or pleasure… THAT is a characteristic of a DOMINANT WARRIOR!!

TONIGHT… the woman will scream… but perhaps not as loud or as HIGH as the BALLESS ONE that carries the name “FRANKY SCOT!!”

First of all, in MY time… FRANKS and SCOTS were merely SHEEP to us wolfish Vikings! Perhaps the same could be said of this BEARDLESS ONE who calls himself an IDOL!!

Does he not know the GREATNESS that is OLVIR??

(The Olvir turns to the camera and puts up a Hogan pose. Every square inch of his chiseled body glistens in the light. He’s like a long lost Norse god of manliness.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
Like so many that have FAILED MISERABLY before his effeminate kind, he will LEARN!!

I am the STRONGEST, FIERCEST, and MOST ENDOWED MAN in the realm of Midgard! People across the WORLD idolize me for my uncanny BRUTALITY and unmatched talent in producing BASTARDS!!

This fool will soon discover that I am the greater MAN and the greater WRESTLER… and when I FINISH DESTROYING this foolish GELDING, I will take his WOMAN to my bed!

Mojo!
Hm, well I highly doubt either of your opponents tonight would appreciate that very much.

Olvir Arsvinnar
BAH!! A Viking TAKES WHAT HE PLEASES!! If they don’t like that, then they can just continue to fight between THEMSELVES while this WARRIOR walks away with the prize!

(While this banter has been going back and forth, the two have made their way through the backstage area to Olvir’s dressing room. Upon coming to the door with his name written on the plate, the Viking BURSTS into the room. Inside, we can see a triad of scantily clad babes in repose on a red velvet bed.)

Olvir Arsvinnar
HA! Now this should be a suitable warm-up for what I expect to do AFTER my CONQUEST!! HA HA HA HA!!

(Olvir the Butt-Dominator strides inside and slams the door behind him. The sound of a great tumult can be heard inside. Mojo, sighing with relief, tosses the microphone aside and staggers away before the Viking can ruin his life any further.)

 

[American Idol]

(We join this short promo already in progress.....)

EPW Aide: "Yes. That's exactly what he said. I was at the interview with Mojo when he said it. He said he was going to take your woman to his bed. He said he will take what he pleases and he will walk away with the prize."

Frankie Scott: "That dumb Son of a B****. If that disease infested conehead goes anywhere near Delilah. I will sever off his genitals and feed them to his oriental vomit queen. She can puke them out and then I will stuff them right back up his a$$. "

"You go back and tell Gonad the Viking that he just stepped over the line and he will find the dry end of the Sword of Valhalla sticking out of Dahaka. All he needs to do is come claim it wearing that evil clown suit. I'm a very different man than I once was. I welcome the force he is. Because when I beat him, and I will. I will prove to the whole freakin' world that Frankie Scott isn't just rolling out claims that his a$$ wasn't cashing. I'm back for good. I'll start with silencing of transvestite clown vikings and their strait jacket wearing stalkers. When I'm done with that I will go searching for a little bit of gold to wear around my waist."

Fade Out---