(Inside a popular club in Winnipeg. The place is packed, the crowd is lively, the booze is flowing, and the band is HOT. They're shredding their way through Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher", and the crowd is eating it up. Once they're done the song, the singer announces they're going to "keep with the old school", and they begin to play legendary iconic band STYX's "Too Much Time On My Hands", and the crowd damn near RIOTS. Beer bottles are fired at the stage, knocking out the singer and putting a hole in the bass player's amp. The band bolts off stage, with crowd still going bonkers, and off to the side, we see Beast sitting at a table, and he just smirks as he witnesses the chaos...
CUT TO: A UCW backdrop. Beast stands in front of the backdrop, wearing an exact replica of Eddie Murphy's red leather outfit from the Delirious show. He raises his finger and points at the camera, all ready to launch into his promo, but then stops.)
Beast: Wait a minute. This just isn't going to work.
(Beast turns and heads off-screen, where we hear a zipper, followed by a scream and a large crashing sound. A few moments go by, the sounds of struggling evident, then Beast comes back out, dressed in his normal jeans and black "A2K4" tee. As he gets back into the camera view, he painfully adjusts his nuts a bit, and once again points at the camera.)
Beast: (In a high-pitched voice
You know something, Jessica?
(He holds a hand up, and then quickly adjusts again, and clears his throat a couple times.)
Beast: (Voice back to normal
Shawn Jessica Bubbles Hart. Oh yeah. PhD, too. It's a pleasure. It really is. A guy with a laundry list of titles a mile long. Most of them are from places I personally never knew even existed, but that doesn't make them any less special now, does it?
And now Barbie's all pumped about this perhaps once-in-a-lifetime event, as Jessie and I collide in a UCW ring. Wow, only my second match into this company, and I get to face one of the FW circuit's best. Remind me to thank our dear Mr. Cloverleaf for blowing this match on free tv, but hey, who am I to complain when I get to face a man with a girl's name?
But really, thanks for the props, Jessica. I wish I could say that I've followed your career with the same vigor that you've watched mine, but believe me when I say you've got the reputation as one of the best, and you're right, it's not often when you get to have a match of this kind of magnitude.
But this little Battle Royal you've entered in - that I myself, just might think of participating in - you might want to put that on the back burner for just a little while longer. This week, you're not in a Battle Royale, fighting for a shot at the World Title, but this week, Darla, you've got a date in the ring with the Alpha Male. As you say, I've earned that distinction in A1E a hundred times over, and now I'm here to prove it in UCW.
Last week, I have to admit that I wasn't impressed with the help. I mean, the Cowboy was pretty easy to get by, and this week, I'm hungry. This week, I've got something to prove. You talk a pretty good game there, Beatrice, but perhaps you just might stop and allow yourself to bask in the warmth of MY spotlight for a bit. After all, I'm
the guy that this company nearly tore itself apart for in trying to sign. I
am the guy that UCW called the "biggest free agent in the history of our sport".
I don't know if there's just a bit of jealousy creeping in there, Barbie, but quite frankly, I don't care. I just love the poetry of someone putting himself way up on a pedestal and then getting knocked the hell back down into this gigantic puddle of real life.
This week, Jessica.... this week may just be one of the biggest matches of your life. You may be pumped. You may be fired all the hell up. You may talk like you're a superstar...
(Beast imitates the hoity-toity, snotty voice of an upper-crust Brit)
Beast: Hark, it is the high-pitched warble of the over-inflated ego! Don't see many of those flitting about these halls anymore because, well, quite frankly, when one does -- (cocks an imaginary shot gun)
(His voice goes back to normal, and he stares a hole right through the camera)
Beast: -- one shoots to kill.
You see, Melinda... you're just another one of a hundred or more guys that come out and looked and talked as though they're all big and shiny, but in reality, you start having a hard time discerning the **** from the shine-ola. I've beaten them all, Jessica, and right now, you don't strike me as any different. Maybe that's why you didn't last in A1E. Maybe that's why all your titles come from swamps that no one's heard of.
Or, maybe you're the real thing. But you're going to have to prove that to me first.
When it comes down to it, all the talking about STD's really doesn't meat squat, Sally. You can fluff up your insecurities all you want, at the end of the day, really, it amounts to spending quality time with your face buried in the Canadian Journal of Who-Gives-A-Rat's-Ass, with your face planted firmly on page one.
This isn't personal, Jennifer, this is just wrestling. I'm here to continue to prove to everyone that I can accomplish things outside of A1E. I'm here to make my mark, to win, to mark this territory as the domain of the Alpha Male, and Julie, you're just the poor son-of-a-***** who got placed next in line.
So when I continue to work my way up the ladder in this company, don't take it personal when I drop you on your head this week and move on, ok?
Cause I'd hate to lose that respect you've got for me.
That'd be a *****.