Beast vs. Irishred

[DBrunkGXW]

Post all RP here!

 

[irishred]

Irishred is seen driving his Hyundai Sante Fe down the interstate. One hand is draped over the steering wheel while the other rests out the window. Never taking his sunglass covered eyes off of the road he begins to talk.

So here we are Beast; two A1E wrestlers slumming in EPW. Two incredible talents that both have a problem with the man that runs this dump; Dan Ryan. So what does the man do? He puts the two men that could shut his silly ass down into a match with the hope that one or both of them will be hurt so badly they won't be able to focus their attention on him. What are we going to do about that?

I'm sure you want some measure of revenge seeing as last time we met I defeated you for your Canadian Heavyweight Championship. I'm sure that eats at you. I'm sure all you can think of right now is beating me and showing me you're the better man.

Let me set a couple of things straight here. Number one you are not the better man. Number two don't let yourself be led by Dan Ryan. He knows that you want that loss back. He is playing your emotions. I know you are a better man then that. I know you can see past that if you allow yourself.

So here's my idea...now you can do what you want with it Beast; but how about you and I just get in that ring and NOT wrestle. How about we get in that ring and take the time to explain to those mindless fools in attendance just what Dan Ryan is all about. How about WE take this time to get some revenge on him?

Or you can get your ass handed to you by me again. It's really up to you. I eagerly await your answer Beast. You had best pray it's the right one.

Irishred reaches down and turns up the SUV's stereo...as the camera slowly fades we see Irishred singing along to Foreigners Dirty White Boy.

 

[irishred]

update you *****

 

[MarcusWestcott]

Fade in to the driving range. Beast is there, wearing a black EPW golf shirt, khaki shorts, and golf shoes. He rips a drive straight up the middle, about 275, 280. He sets up another ball, and hits another nice drive.)

Beast: Red, I think you've misunderstood things *just a little*. Your perception just might be a little off - perhaps you're looking at the world through a frosty beer bottle again.

You see Red, I don't know about you, but I'm certainly not "slumming" here in EPW. In case you haven't heard, I'm a former EPW World Heavyweight Champion, and I've been a cornerstone in EPW since the doors to this place have opened. And now, I've returned back to the top as the #1 contender to the EPW World Title. I can't wait to get back in the ring with Lindsay and pay her back.

You, on the other hand, are pretty damn new around these parts. Not saying you're a rookie, but you've been here in EPW about as long as the time since Lindsay's last self-induced orgasm.

You don't quite know how things roll just yet.

Especially between me and Dan Ryan.

Don't flatter yourself as to think that you're a part of this little dance. This match between you and I this week? It has nothing to do with Ryan's feelings about you.

Nosireebob, this is all about Dan Ryan taking another step to try and teach me a lesson.

You see, Red, last week, I was supposed to step up and beat Joey Melton for like the hundredth time. I was supposed to show Dan that I was "ready" to take my shot, and get my match against Troy by beating her vibrator of the month, but you see, Red, that didn't quite happen. Not through any fault of my own. We all knew Melton couldn't beat me without cheating, even though I'm still not at 100 percent after the beating Ryan and I gave each other at Black Dawn.

Beast rips another drive down the range, and the ball bounces and dings off the 300 yd marker.)

Beast: So tell me something, Red? What does your little plan do for me? What do I have to gain by stepping into the ring with you and doing absolutely nothing? What do you think Ryan's going to do you once you try and pull that stunt? Not to mention screwing the fans out of a main event.

Quite frankly, Red, I AM the better man. Ask yourself a few questions. Which one of us is a multi-time World Champion? That would be me. Which one of us is the #1 Contender to the World Heavyweight Championship in two different companies? That would be me. Which one of us failed to beat Anarchy, Inc. for the tag titles for six months in A1E? That would be you. Which one of us failed to lead a MBE invasion into MBE and had his team get their asses handed to you in every single match? That would be you. Which one of us has dropped the ball in every major match they've had in A1E?

That would be you, Red, and if you for one single second think that your rolling me up with a handful of tights somehow magically equates to you "handing me my ass". then brother, have you ever got another thing coming.

You see, Red, you're my testing ground. You're the stepping stone that I need to use to be able to take my shot.

That spells nothing but bad news for you, my friend.

Now, unless you've got a pretty convincing reason why I should come into the ring and stand there with my thumb up my ass, I suggest you get ready for the match of your life.

(Fade out as Beast tees up another ball and takes a swing.)

 

[irishred]

Irishred sits in his locker room. He leans back in his folding chair; feet up on the bench in front of the lockers. He is reading PWI. He folds the magazine and looks up at the camera. He lets out a loud sigh before speaking.

Couple of things you should know about me Beast, couple of things you should have caught onto while you were so carefully keeping score of the rest of my career. First thing; never disrespect me. That's just career suicide. I know you are smarter then that. But yet you stood right there on the driving range; opened up your c*cksucker and let the disrespect just roll off your tongue. Really...you are a moron.

Second thing; if you have been in the ring with me; oh and you have; no matter what the result; and for the record I won our one and only match, you have had your ass kicked. That's the bottom line chump.

Now while you were so kind as to analyze us let me return the favor. I'll keep score for us as well.

I'm American; you're Canadian. That's really not a hack on Canada either as I enjoy the country overall...but really...do I need to go any further with this?

Well obviously the score is already 1-0.

I am the current UCW heavyweight champion. You are "competing" for World titles. While I hold a World title you are stuck chasing your dreams.

Me 2...you 0.

I came to EPW to take the fight right to Dan Ryan. You let Dan treat you like his own personal whore. You LET him do that to you.

Me 3...you still at zero? Let me double check...yup you have zero.

I beat you in the middle of the ring for the Canadian Heavyweight Championship that you were at the time holding. You showed up at the next show with representatives of the fed to take my belt from me after you whined to them that I "cheated" to win. To sum up...I beat you and you cried like a b*tch until you got your way.

Well obviously that puts the score at Irishred 4 and Beast 0.

I am going to beat you from pillar to post this week during Onslaught and as you lie in the ring in a pool of your own blood wondering why you just didn't take me up on my original offer I am going to lean down and whisper to you the following little phrase...

Irishred 5...Beast ZERO.

Irishred picks up his PWI magazine and begins to read again. We hear his voice from behind the magazine.

I'll never understand why people claim to be tough; claim to be bad asses and then just B*tch up in the face of Dan Ryan. It's sad really. Oh well...his time is coming. It's coming sooner then he thinks.

Fade to black.

 

[MarcusWestcott]

(Fade in to Beast standing in front of an EPW backdrop.)

Beast: Wow. Just.... wow.

You can count to five, Red.

Congratulations.

You must be American.

There, do you feel disrespected now?

I mean really, is that all you've got? Wahh, Beast didn't cower before me! Wahh, Beast disrespected me! Wahh, my ***** hurts!

Is that it, Red? You felt slighted because I didn't feel like taking part in your master plan to bring the Onslaught main event to a screeching halt by going to the ring and sitting on our hands? That's just brilliant. Are you some kind of rocket scientist or something? Do you really want to know what would happen? Do you really want to know what would happen if we just went out there and put on a Seinfeld episode
and did a match about nothing?

IF you weren't fired, you'd be busted down to jerking the curtain every night. Dan Ryan would humiliate you to no end.

I know. I've been there.

But you're going to take the fight to Dan Ryan, aren't you, Red? You're going to kick his ass, is that right?

Yep, you're American all right.

"If we can't f*ck it or make it do what we want, we'll just beat the sh*t out of it."

Sounds like a typical American to me.

It's that kind of logic that makes the rest of the world look down their noses at Americans and think you're a bunch of idiots. And the rest of the world is right on the mark, for the most point. But, I guess I'd never accuse a hick bar owner drunk of using logic in the first place.

There's your disrespect, b*tch.

So while you're going to stage your own personal little strike, I'm going to hit Dan where it really hurts. His pride. The last thing that Dan wants is me as his World Champion. He didn't even want to give me a shot - even though I was screwed out of the title in the first place. But I went and TOOK it from him, Red. I TOOK the fight to Dan Ryan, Red. I already did what you're so desperate to do. I beat his ass up one side of Black Dawn and down the other, and I took what was owed me.

But you can sit back there and think that you're SO much better than me. You can think that just because you're American, that makes you better by default. Too bad you weren't around for the big Canada-USA in A1E. One which I won, by the way. You can trumpet your BIG win against Beast - a win you needed to cheat to get - all you want. If that's what it takes to make you get to sleep at night and not curl up in your pink bunny jammies with your thumb in your mouth worrying about whether the world respects you - then fine.

The rest of the world knows the truth, and you coming out here and trying to pass off a grab of the tights an "ass kicking" just makes you look like a total ass.

But in all seriousness, congrats, Red. With maybe one or two exceptions, you're the World Champion of a backwater federation full of homos, has beens, and never-will-be's. Whereas I am on top of two of the biggest federations in our business. And when it's time to face Lindsay Troy for the EPW title, I'll stick it to Dan Ryan where it really hurts.

But don't worry, Red. Keep fighting the good fight - keep doing NOTHING

In the meantime, I'm going to sit back and try and pick apart the brainteaser you left me with about getting my ass kicked simply because I had the blessing to just be in the same ring as you. I guess that means that I have to hunt down all the greats that I've faced over the years, and tell guys like Housefly, Big Dog, Chip Friendly, Dan Ryan, Christian Sands, and a list of others, that even though they defeated me, that I truly was the one that kicked THEIR ass, just because they were in the same ring as me.

I have a better idea, Red. Why don't you go tell the guys from Anarchy - you know, the guys you couldn't beat for six months straight - that you kicked their asses. Make sure you bring a decibel meter, cause I'd sure as hell would like to know how loud they laughed. Why don't you tell Andrew Gilkison that you kicked his ass, even though he beat you to retain the Cyber Title? Oh, I know, go tell James Irish that even though he defeated you to retain his Triple Star Title, that it was indeed you that kicked his ass. I'd imagine the conversation would go something like this:

---------

Red: Hey James.

James: Yeah?

Red: Just letting you know I kicked your ass.

James: Huh?

Red: I kicked your ass. You know, the match we had for the Triple Star Title?

James: Yyyeaaaaahhh.....?

Red: I kicked your ass.

James: Um, Red? I beat you. I'm still the A1E Triple Star Champion.

Red: Doesn't matter. I still kicked your ass.

James: Um, ok. And this is because...?

Red: You were in the same ring as me. That means I kicked your ass.

James: Sure thing. Whatever you say, pal.

--------

Beast: Do you even realize how f*cking stupid that sounds?

Man, and you're the one that's calling ME a moron.

Funny how that goes, huh?

But don't worry, Red. I got tons of disrespect to go around.

The most of which is going to happen when I destroy you at Onslaught.

Score? Beast wins.

And that's all that matters.

(Fade out.)