Round Two... FIGHT!!
(Fade In: To an American institution, the ULTIMATE puberty palace, as the scene opens with the "The Phenom" Shawn Hart walking through the front doors of a roller rink! As all the female skaters make a circle around the rink while the young men skate around, slapping their hands, Shawn storms angrily onto the scene, pushing his way through the acne-laden crowd to the center of the rink. He then stops, yanks a microphone away from the DJ there, and begisn to speak...)
Hart: "Llllllllllladies and gentlemen, I hate to interrupt the cracking voices, backseat fumblings, and insecurities of youth, but IN CASE you haven't noticed... THE PHENOM is on the scene! Now, as the lot of you are, no doubt, completely aware of who I am and what I do, you're probably asking yourselves why a man of my caliber has so generously graced you with his presence. So here's the deal...""
(Hart makes a serious face, takes a deep breath, then continues...)
Hart: "At the Hennig Memorial Show, yours truly, El Hombre Magnifico, made quick work of Johnny "The only time i stumble around worse than when I'm speaking is when I try to wrestle" Starr. Now, with that behind me... as the looooooong, HARD road to the WFW title continues, the next stop on my path to glory appears in the form of one Mike McGee. That being said, what better way to send a message to my worthy opponent than by speaking to his fan base! Which, in Mr. McGee's case, just so happens to be you... a buncha a pizza-faced, lazy ass, D & D playin' JACKHOLES!! Nnnnnnnonetheless, my next step on the staircase is Mr. Middle Management himself, so without further ado, let me tell you kiddies how things REALLY are. You see, as good as Mike McGee is, and yeah.. I'll admit that much, he's a very talented man. Buuut as good as he is, nothing he can toss out could ever POSSIBLY compare to my wicked technique. Sure, he had a good showing against Elian, but what does THAT really say? I mean, I'm glad you got your win and all, McGee, but don't go gettin' any funny ideas. Consider that one, small moment of triumph the calm before the storm. Cuz when we're goin toe to toe in the squared circle, this MONSOON ain't showin' no mercy! Call it an OUTRAGE, call it a MOCKERY, rest assured.... it's the TRUTH!"
(As Shawn spouts out his catch phrase, a sickly looking 17 or 18 year old boy with dental headgear skates just a little too close to him. Suddenly, Hart wails, "Ayayayayaya!" then drops the guy with a vicious, chopping clothesline! The kid looks up at Hart, begins to cry, then scurries away whining.)
Hart: "Today's youth... PUH! Anyhow, McGee... let me kick it to ya straight. You can take your 401k shillin', corporate villian, Alan Greenspan feelin', ridin' that portfolio straight through the glass cielin', capitalist warlord persona and SHOVE IT! I'm the Phenom, dammit!! And all the PINK SLIPS in the world couldn't compete with my unparalelled intellect and hurculean physique! Face it, jackson, you got some moves..but you're about as cool as Pat Gordon, and HALF as threatening. But then again, an overweight, OVER the hill, chronically balding, drunkard Irishman is kind of scary, isn't it. But I digress, the bottom line here is that NOTHING on God's green earth is gonna keep me from getting what I deserve. I'm gonna TAKE what I want wether you yokels like it or not! In other words, say hello to the World's Finest Wrestling CHAMPION!! See you in the ring, McGee... the PHENOM has left the building!!"
(Fade to Blue)
