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AGGRESSION 9: Nashville, TN - 6/26/04

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
Sep 11, 1997
Messages
4,815
Points
36
Age
48
Location
Katy, TX
CUE UP: "Imperial March" - Rage Against the Machine. A video montage plays, featuring smoke-wreathed images of various wrestlers, some of them leaving blurred trails as they move.
CUT TO: Beast nailing the Absolution on Christian Sands.

CUT TO: Karl Brown coming off the ropes with a Quebrada.

CUT TO: Christian Sands taking Beast down into the Sandman's Clutch.

CUT TO: Troy Douglas standing victorious on a turnbuckle.

CUT TO: Adam Benjamin delivering a Shining Wizard to Karl Brown.

CUT TO: John Doe and Aodhan Lorigan striding down the ramp.

CUT TO: Jonathan Marx throwing Karl Brown over the ropes.

CUT TO: Lindsay Troy dropkicking Christian Sands.

CUT TO: Tyrone Walker locking up with Karl Brown.

CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting sedately in a chair, staring into the camera.

CUTTO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]





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[Cut to the ramp, where a wreath of pyro explodes around the EmpireTron and several bomblike, smoky explosions ripple about the entry way. The camera zooms in on the screen as the pyro finally peters out and moves across the four sexy Empire Girls, then blurs to roving shots of the roaring crowd as a small banner in the corner briefly appears to proclaim that EPW is broadcast en Espanol. Various signs are visible in the crowd: "BEAST IS MY ALPHA MALE!", "Evil Troy Is Hot!", "THE WAR TO SETTLE THE SCORE", "GOLEM FEARS SAURON", "I'm Pregnant With Joey Melton's Baby", "It Is Inevitable, Mr. Sands", "I CAME TO SEE ADAM BENJAMIN", "The Rise Of Marxism", and finally, "THERE IS NO SPOON".]

[Cut to ringside, where we find the usual gang.]

DT: Welcome, everybody, to Empire Pro Wrestling's AGGRESSION! I'm Dave Thomas, and with me as always is Mike Neely! Mike, what a night we've got in store for the viewers, as every title changed hands at Unleashed!

MN: Phooey.

DT: We have new tag team champions in Cameron Cruise and Joey Melton, a new Intercontinental Champion in Jonathan Marx, and most significantly a new world heavyweight champion in Beast! Tonight, all of our champions will be together in one ring with three other men and one woman! Two rings! One all-spanning steel cell! It's a historic night as Empire Pro Wrestling brings you its first-ever WAR GAMES match - LIVE on FREE CABLE TELEVISION!

[Cut to a shot of the ring. The floor is wider than usual tonight, with plenty of space set aside for a second ring. Said ring is suspended from the rafters, held inside one half of a two-ring-wide steel cell.]

DT: And there you see it, the ominous steel cell and the second ring that will descend when it's time for War Games to begin.

MN: I don't even know who to cheer for, other than not cheering for Beast.

DT: You really don't like Beast, do you?

MN: He's Big Loafy. Who does he think he is?

DT: ...The Heavyweight Champion of the World, for one thing.

MN: Pff.

DT: Anyway-

[Cue up: "Sharp Dressed Man" - ZZ Top.]

DT: - Hold on a minute, it looks like we're about to be visited by Paul Freeman's assistant, Dean Matthews!

MN: Now THAT'S more like it!

[As the crowd cheers, Dean Matthews strolls out onto the rampway, flashing the crowd a Fonzie double-thumbs up as his pyro goes off. He then lifts the mic.]

MATTHEWS: Maestro, cuttez-vous le musique.

[The music cuts out.]

MATTHEWS: Before we get too far tonight, Mr. Freeman's sent me out here to make a special announcement. Tonight is the first-ever Empire War Games. That in itself makes this a very special night. But I've got something to make it even more special. You see, I'm adding a special stipulation to this match... and adding a SPECIAL REFEREE!!!

[CROWD POP!]

MATTHEWS: And the name of this special referee is...

[The crowd waits in anticipation...]

MATTHEWS: ...

...

... ... ...

PSYCH!!! Y'all got PUNK'D!

[CROWD: BOOOOOO!]

MATTHEWS: Aw, shaddap. You think I'm gonna spoil the surprise this early in the show? Hell naw! You're all gonna have to watch and see. Who knows when we'll say who it is? But I ain't tellin' yet, monkeys. Just watch. Now let's get this damn show moving, aight>

[Cue up: "Sharp Dressed Man" as Matthews walks to the back.]



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DT: As if War Games wasn't big enough - now we've got a SPECIAL REFEREE added to the match!

MN: Who is it, Burgerman? C'mon, you gotta tell me!

DT: I honestly don't know, Mike! I guess we'll all have to wait and find out.

MN: Watch it be John Doe or something. Bah.

DT: In any case, it's time for our first match of the evening, as X battles Ray Rock - who, incidentally, is subbing for John Doe tonight!

MN: Ray who?

DT: Rock. He wrestled for Major Championship Wrestling.

MN: Wonderful.

DT: Let's head to the ring!



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Hardcore Match
X vs. Ray Rock
[Fade in with Ray Rock in the EPW ring as we await X’s entrance. Camera’s cut to the crow’s nest with DT and MN.]

DT: Hardcore match up here on EPW!

MN: BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!

DT; You’re a sick man!

MN: Yeah well you know.

DT: No, I don’t

MN: Ah shut up...

DT: But..

MN: I said shut up....

[Cue Up:"X Gonna Give It To You" by DMX as the lights go down. Time passes, strobe lights light up the entranceway. X appears in the crowd carrying his patented black steel chair marked with a white X and wrapped in barbed wire. X sides in the ring and as he crosses his arms to make an X. Before Fatora can announce X’s entrance Ray Rock nails a clothesline to the back of X]

DT: And Ray Rock hitting that clothesline on X wasting no time in this match up!

MN: Good! Get to the red stuff!

DT: X up to his feet, as they stare each other down.

[X ties up and gets a go behind. He drops getting a low single leg takedown. X then moves to the head getting a headlock. Rock gets to his feet and grabs X performing a backdrop.]

DT: Ray with the reversal X to his feet as he puts Ray down with a Dropkick. Ray up again as X is to his feet.

MN: Yawn...

[X comes back with a Irish whip to Ray. Rock comes back but X catches him in a Side Effect. X taunts as he goes to ring side looking under the ring for a weapon.]

DT: Ray Rock is up and is running to the ropes. Ray leaping off the top rope towards X!

[Ray goes over the top rope looking for a crossbody]

MN: RAY WITH THE OVER THE TOP CROSSBODY!! NOOOO X CATCHES HIM HITTING A SCOOP SLAM!

[X lifts Ray by his hair and goes for to Irish Whip towards a ring post]

DT; X with the Irish Whip Ray with the re-whip sending X into the ring post!

MN: YES! Ray looking under the ring. X has a chair!

[X rushes towards Ray with the chair just as he is approaching Ray grabs a fire extinguisher from under the ring just as X is about to swing the chair. Ray blast the white foam in X’s eyes]

MN: WHOA! That was cool!

DT: Ray using that fire extinguisher and shooting it into X’s eyes! X on the floor screaming trying to wipe his eyes.

[Ray picks up X and rolls him in the ring dropping the fire extinguisher and grabbing the chair. X holds the ropes trying to see. Ray bounces off the opposite ropes looking for more speed as he heads full force towards X]

DT: Ray coming towards X with that chair, Ray swinging it! X MOVING OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE RAY CAN HIT HIM WITH THAT CHAIR!

[Ray swings the chair at X. The chair bounces off the ropes and flies into the face of Ray Rock]

MN: NICE MOVE BY X!

[X grabs the chair as Ray gets up staggering. X tosses the chair at Ray. Ray catches the chair looking confused. X Dropkicks the chair back into the face of Ray Rock sending Rock to the ropes and rebounding back towards X.]

DT: X catching Ray and hitting a Flapjack!

MN: X is going back out to ring side and looking under that apron.

[X gets hold of a 2X4 plywood as he slides back in the ring. Ray turns around...CRACK!!!! X breaks the 2X4 over the head of Ray Rock]

DT: HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! This is getting out of control

[Ray starts bleeding from the head as X goes for the cover.]

MN: Finally some blood!

DT: 1....2...3!!!!

FATORA: Here is your winner X!

[Cue up: X is gonna give it to you” By DMX as X crosses his arms making and X. Ray Rock lies in the ring not moving.]



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DT: I think X killed Ray Rock.

MN: Oh well that’s why we have waivers!

DT: Ladies and gentlemen we will be right back with more EPW Aggression after this commercial break!

[Cut to a commercial for EPW action figures by Wakks Atlantic.]
 

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
Sep 11, 1997
Messages
4,815
Points
36
Age
48
Location
Katy, TX
DT: Welcome back to the show. Mike, before we get to our next match, let's first tell these people about the latest DVD offerings from Empire Pro Wrestling.
MN: IT'S SHILL TIME, MOTHAF(BOMB)AS!!!

DT: MIKE! FAMILY SHOW!

MN: Meep.

DT: *sigh* Anyway...

[Cut to the Unleashed backdrop. Cue up: "Flat On The Floor" - Nickelback. The EPW Unleashed DVD is shown on the screen.]

DT (v/o): Empire Pro Wrestling presents Unleashed on DVD! Relive classic matches like Sands vs. Beast and Benjamin vs. Marx, right from your living room!

MN (v/o): And it costs half as much as the Pay-Per-View! SCORE!

[Cut to another backdrop. Cue up: "Figure You Out" - Nickelback. Another DVD is shown.]

DT (v/o): And while you're out picking up the Unleashed DVD, pick up this compilation too - Empire Pro Wrestling presents "The Best Of Beast" two-disc collection! Featuring footage from his best matches all across the world!

MN (v/o): I'll refrain from comment. At least it's only $19.99.

[The music cues down. Cut back to ringside.]

DT: Now that we've finished our shilling, let's get on with the show.

MN: And let's see MORE BLOOD!

DT: This next match is a special challenge match. Newcomer Sebastian Dodd put out an open challenge which was answered by one of EPW's best and brightest, Karl Brown. Dodd's an accomplished competitor in his own right, but I think he may have bitten off more than he can chew here.

MN: I bet Downtown goes to town on him.

DT: Let's head to the ring and find out!



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"Your Hero" Sebastian Dodd vs. Karl "The Dragon" Brown
TF: Th’ following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducting first...

[CUE UP: “Stellar” Incubus. Sebastian Dodd emerges from the entranceway, looking smug as always as he merely soaks in the boos of the Nashville crowd.]

TF: Standing 6’2” and weighing in at 245 pounds, he hails from NEW York City, New York, “YOUR HERO” SEBASSSSSSTIAAAAANNNN DOOOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!! And his opponent..,

[The arena is bathed in darkness seconds before "Rainmaker" blares out, causing a cascade of green and white lights to flicker across the arena in time to the music and pyro to explode from the side of the stage. With the first words, Karl steps through the curtains and the crowd goes completely insane with cheers. He high-fives fans either side of the aisle, stopping for autographs along the way, as he walks to the ring. Circles the ring once, then vaults over the top rope, standing on the second rope, arms aloft, saluting the fans on each side of the ring, before waiting in the centre of the ring for his opponent.]

TF: From Nottingham, England, standing 6 foot and tipping the scales at 211 pounds, KARL “THE DRAGOOOOOOOOOON” BROOOOOOOWWWWWWNNN!!!!!!!!

DT: Nashville loves the Dragon, Mike Neely!

MN: Well why not, we are DOWN-town, baby!

[SFX: Bell rings *dingdingding*]

DT: Brown and Dodd circle, and here comes The Dragon with a quick single leg shot. Fireman’s Carry takedown, no, Dodd gets a go behind. Looks for the German suplex, but Karl Brown with the snap mare to bring Dodd to the ground!

MN: Pity. Looks like the Hardcore Dragon is back to being the Technical Dragon.

DT: Both men to their feet, and they go into a collar and elbow tie-up. Brown with the arm drag, reversed into a drop toe hold by Sebastian Dodd, and the Manhattanite goes quickly into a rear chinlock.

MN: Hahaha, you said “rear”.

DT: Juvenile.

[Brown quickly slides out of the hold and regains his base. Sensing he has the advantage, Dodd gets greedy and looks for a wicked clothesline, but the technical expert Brown smartly drops to his knees and swiftly elbows “Your Hero” in the gut. As Dodd doubles over from the loss of air, Brown quickly drops down again with a schoolboy rollup.]

DT: SCHOOLBOY OUT OF NOWHERE BY BROWN... ONE...

TWO...

And a kickout by Your Hero!

MN: That was almost over really fast.

[Looking to capitalize on his momentum, Brown stalks in on Dodd and whips him into the ropes. On the rebound, Brown hits a quick hiptoss then flows rapidly into a seated Dragon Sleeper.]

DT: There’s that Dragon Sleeper! The move Karl Brown may do better than ANY man in wrestling!

MN: Downtown’s arsenal is as profound as anybody’s, and that could be what gives him the advantage tonight over the relatively inexperienced Sebastian Dodd.

DT: That’s right Mike. Wait, did I just say that?

MN: Yes you did, Burgerman. I said something SMART.

DT: Well, it had to happen eventually. Karl Brown still grinding in that Dragon Sleeper, he’s putting pressure on the back and neck of Sebastian Dodd as well as effectively shortening Dodd’s air supply.

MN: Air Supply?

DT: That was bound to happen too.

[The referee checks on Sebastian Dodd, pulling his arm up in the air. However, this serves to jolt Dodd, who tosses referee Bryan Weatherby aside and fires three quick elbows to the side of Brown’s head, breaking the hold. Dodd works his way back to his feet and again charges towards Brown, but the Dragon hits a drop toe hold that sends Dodd’s face crashing into the bottom turnbuckle.]

DT: Drop toe hold onto the turnbuckle by Karl Brown, and Sebastian Dodd’s nose may be broken!

MN: That does NOT look good in slo-mo, Daaaaavey.

DT: Brown pulls Dodd back to the center of the ring, and he’s putting the Boston Crab on him! Dodd’s back has to be SCREAMING in pain right now!

MN: Backs can scream?

DT: Your Hero is trying furiously to reach the ropes, but Karl Brown is not relenting! Dodd with a desperate dive, but Brown just pulls him back! The Dragon knows that while this move may not get Dodd to submit, it’ll certainly soften him up for Brown’s versatile offense!

MN: A rookie trying to get out of a Downtown submission? We could be here a while. Somebody get me a damn Snickers bar! We’re gonna be waiting for a long-

DT: -BACKSLIDE BY DODD!!!!!!

MN: What the...

DT: ONE...

TWO...

KARL BROWN SLIPS OUT AT THE LAST MOMENT!!!!!!!

MN: How the hell did that happen?

[In split-screen replay, we see Dodd madly kicking to get out of the Boston Crab. As he lunges for the rope one last time, he manages to catch Brown in the face with a boot to break the hold, and as Brown wobbles backwards, Dodd alertly catches his arms and tilts forward.]

DT: An absolutely terrific counter by Sebastian Dodd, and we may have just seen a change in momentum.

MN: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!!!!

DT: Thank you, David Bowie. Karl Brown is furious at himself for letting that happen, and he’s looking to take the advantage right back. Clothesline attempt...MISSED!!! Brown turns around and he’s met with a swift knee to the abdomen by Dodd! Double underhook...and the butterfly suplex!!!

MN: That’s such a stupid name for a wrestling move.

[Now its Dodd’s turn with the submissions, as he locks on a seated full nelson stretch. Brown struggles for awhile, but he is eventually able to separate Dodd’s locked hands and pry himself loose of the hold, though the grabs the back of his neck gingerly, clearly sore from the aftereffects.]

DT: Sebastian Dodd may have just taken a page from Karl Brown’s book right there, softening up the neck for his D-O-DDT.

MN: Hmm. The Downtown Karl Brown System for Using Submissions to Soften An Opponents Neck for a Modified Reverse DDT. Nah, too long a title.

DT: Whatever. Both men are up, and Dodd is back to work on Karl Brown. He’s got Brown in a front facelock, and he HITS a wicked snap suplex! He rolls through, and gets another!!! Rolls through again and...FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX!!!! Dodd bridges back...

ONE...

TWO...

THRRRRRRRNOOOOOOO!!!! SO VERY, VERY CLOSE FOR DODD!!!!!

MN: Newbie’s got a shot against Downtown.

DT: Karl Brown managed to kickout, but doing so had to take a lot of energy out of him. Sebastian Dodd’s on a hot streak after that backslide, and Brown will need something big to turn the tides once again.

MN: Of course, that’s something that Downtown’s very, very practiced at doing.

DT: Dodd brings Brown back to his feet and blasts him with a couple of blunt forearm blows across the smaller man’s sternum. Irish whip now...and a high impact spinebuster on the rebound by Sebastian Dodd! He covers and hooks the leg...

ONE...

TWO...

NOT THIS TIME!!!! Karl Brown summoned up just enough energy to get the left shoulder up before Weatherby’s three count. However, it’s clear that Sebastian Dodd may have discovered the secret to taking down one of EPW’s biggest stars.

MN: If this kid beats Karl, then he’s going places.

DT: The Dragon is definitely out of his game right now. He’s up, but he’s groggy. Brown tries to throw a quick roundhouse kick at Dodd, but it’s BLOCKED! Enziguiri attempt...NOBODY’S HOME!!!! Dodd applies the rear waistlock...and he German Suplexes Karl Brown from a lying position!!! He just flipped the Englishman off the mat and over his head with total ease! He’s moving to the top rope, and he’s gonna try and end this one with a bang!

MN: Maybe not the smartest idea.

DT: FROG SPLAAAAAAANOOOOO!!!! Karl Brown mustered what had to be his last ounce of strength to slide out of the ring! Now Dodd is on the mat! Brown from the outside...SLINGSHOT LEGDROP...YEEEESSSSS!!!!! The pin...

ONE...

TWO...

NO!!!!!! Sebastian Dodd still has plenty of fight left in him, but Karl Brown is on the warpath!

MN: Okay, maybe Seb DOESN’T have that good of a chance.

DT: Both men up, and Dodd is INCENSED at the fact he couldn’t put the Dragon away. Dodd runs the ropes...Brown leapfrogs over. Both men on the rebound...DOUBLE NECKBREAKER!!!! Both men are down and out!

MN: Aw, crap. I hate when they both kill each other. Now we have to sit and wait for somebody to move.

DT: Bryan Weatherby has commenced his count.

BW: THREE...

FOUR...

FIVE...

SIX...

SEVEN...

EIGHT...

NI-

DT: Brown rolls over and drapes the arm over Sebastian Dodd!

MN: This is over, Dodd’s dead.

DT: Weatherby’s count...

ONE...

TWO...

THREEEEEEEE!!! WAIT!!! WAIT JUST A MINUTE!!! Sebastian Dodd kicked out a microsecond before Weatherby’s hand hit the mat the third time!!! We’re still not done here in Nashville.

MN: That, I CAN NOT freaking believe.

DT: Both men have finally made it to their feet, and you can see just how tired they are. This has been a fast-paced, grueling contest, and neither man looks like they want to be the first to give in.

MN: Yeah, because that would mean they LOSE.

DT: Smartass.

MN: Just like always.

DT: Sebastian Dodd looks like he has no idea where he is right now, but Karl Brown will jolt the New Yorker back to reality with a textbook dropkick!!! Brown finally back on the offensive in this match! He whips Dodd into the corner...RUNNING 180 BICYCLE KICK!!!! He hit Sebastian right in the jaw with that nasty martial arts kick! On the rebound...RELEASE NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!!!

MN: Downtown’s on a tear, and when he gets like this, it’s hard to recover.

DT: Brown goes over to Dodd, and he’s looking to reapply the Dragon Sleeper, but Dodd won’t let him! There’s some juice left in this kid’s tank yet! Brown tries once again to hook it in, but Dodd is back to his feet! He slips out...DIAMOND CUTTER!!! Last ditch Diamond Cutter by Sebastian Dodd!!! That should do it...

ONE...

TWO...

THREEEEEEE!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! HOW IN GOD’S NAME DID KARL BROWN KICK OUT!!!!!

MN: One guy is going to have to murder the other one in the middle of the ring for this thing to end.

DT: Sebastian Dodd may have found the way to end it now, as he’s put Brown up top. He hooks the head...SUPERPLEX!!! WAIT, NO! Karl Brown shoved Dodd off of him at the last second!! Now Brown with the front facelock and...MY GOD!!! FLIPPING TORNADO DDT BY BROWN!!!!

MN: I think we know what’s coming next from Downtown!!!

DT: He’s setting up the Dragon’s Bite! This’ll end it for sure!!! Up goes Dodd and...SEBASTIAN FLOATS OVER!!!! He got out of the Bite! Waistlock...GERMAN SUPLEX!!!! THE BRIDGE...

ONE...

TWO...

THRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

MN: HE DID IT!!!!!

DT: I DON’T BELIEVE MY EYES!!!! SEBASTIAN DODD JUST PULLED OUT THE UPSET OF THE YEAR HERE ON AGGRESSION!!!!

MN: That came out of thin freaking air!

TF: The winner of the match via pinfall ... “YOUR HEROOOOOOOOOOO” SEBASTIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!



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DT: My GOD, what a win for Sebastian Dodd here tonight, as he defies the odds and scores the pin on Karl Brown with the German suplex!

MN: I didn't think he'd do it at first, but it was REALLY CLOSE!

DT: Don't take anything away from Karl Brown - but tonight was Dodd's night, and he showed the world that he's here to stay.

MN: I'll say.

DT: We've got to take a quick break, but when we come back, it's TAG-TEAM ACTION!

[Cut to a commercial for sugar crunchy Cheat Commandos-Os sugar cereal.]
 

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
Sep 11, 1997
Messages
4,815
Points
36
Age
48
Location
Katy, TX
[Fade in to the EPW Arena as fans up and trying to get their signs on camera. Fans are cheering, screaming as the cameras cut to the crow's nest with Mike Neely and Dave Thomas.]
DT: Welcome back to Aggression, everyone! Mike, listen to this Tennessee crowd! They are on their feet in anticipation!

MN: Just shows the dedication to EPW!

[Lights dim out as Sic by Slipknot blares on the PA system. Fans rise out of their seats, cheering as John Doe walks out on the ramp no pyrotechnics. He walks down the ramp a serious look on his face.]

DT: John Doe is here in the arena! He was supposed to be given some time off.

MN: HEY! You notice something different?

DT: No what?

MN: There’s non-of that fireworks crap going off around the arena! He is getting smarter!

DT: Oh! That’s quite weird!

MN: Maybe EPW is on a budget plan! No Pyrotechnics for Losers!

[John slides in the rings as red pyrotechnics off the turnbuckles. John smiles as the crowd goes nuts, cameras show a fan holding a sign saying “John Forgot How To Wrestle!” The lights turn back on as John is handed a microphone.]

DT: Looks like John is going to say something.

MN: He's gonna ask you for a Happy Meal, Burgerman! Quick! Slip him some McNuggets!

DT: That’s McDonald's, you idiot.

MN: Oh...

DOE: Listen up. I lost to Storms, I quit yes I know, but you try having a piece of glass in front of your eye.

DT: He has a point.

MN: WUSS! Why you walking about my home dawg!

DOE: Anyway, that’s the past, now, I have wrestled some ok people, but I think it’s time for me to make a big impressing around here. See I was tuning into my favorite show EPW Aggression, and I was watching a wrestler, a fairly good wrestler. Now this guy is really good...in his own eyes, in my eyes I want to slap the crap out of him, which I think I am going to do.

DT: Who’s he talking about?

DOE: See this guy wrestled for a championship belt, he wrestled in the EPW War Games, and he is a superstar.

MN: I KNOW WHO HE IS TALKING ABOUT!

DT: Who?

MN: It’s Beast!

Doe: Now, you listen very carefully cause I know you back there, CHRISTIAN SANDS I AM CALLING YOU OUT!

DT & MN: WHAT!

[Crowd cheers]

DOE: That’s right I want to show the whole world that I am that damn good, that I can beat you, because you my friend are pathetic! So Sandman next week on Aggression it’s me and you one on one! Just to show you and everyone in EPW that I AM NOT JUST ANYONE...I AM JOHN DOE!

[Doe stands in the ring smiling looking at the ramp]

MN: Is Doe out of his MIND?! SANDS WILL OBLITERATE HIM!!!

DT: John Doe is badmouthing Christian Sands! And telling him he wants a match with him next week! I can’t believe this; Doe is standing there waiting for Sands to come out!

MN: MAN I CAN’T BELIVE THIS! If Sands gets hold of Doe that will be the end of him!

DOE: Come on Sandass where you at? I know your back there listening to me.

MN: He has no respect for-

[Cue up: “Dark Machine” – Paul Oakenfold.]

DT: Well, we’ve heard that music before...

MN: I hope he's got the coroner with him, 'cause by the time this is over we'll need to identify Doe by his dental records!

[As the crowd boos, Christian Sands strolls out onto the ramp in his trenchcoat and black sweater. Smirking, he gazes down at Doe in the ring as his music fades out. He raises a mic.]

SANDS: Wait, wait, wait just a second here. Did I just hear John f**king Doe call me pathetic? See, John, the fact of the matter is this. In this promotion, I am the do-all and end-all. What are you? Some little punk who lost to a tag-teamer? Son, I was the first World Heavyweight Champion in this company. I’ve held bigger belts than you’ve beaten your girlfriend with. Yet here you stand, calling ME out. What’s running through your little head, Doe? You think you can make a name for yourself off me? Try again, kiddo. The only person who’s ever made their name at my expense was about ten times the wrestler you are, so if you think YOU of all people can take me down, you’re pissing up a rope.

Throw your catchphrase around all you want, but the fact of the matter is this. You ARE just anybody to me. You’re not special. You’re another face in the crowd. Just another Johnny-come-lately who thinks he can make himself famous by taking down the biggest kid on the block. Reality check. The only thing you’ll be taking down is notes when I take your punk ass to school. Maybe while you’re there I’ll be nice enough throw in a crash course in basic grammar and phonics. Watching you stand out here stuttering like a retard on speed is embarrassing.

(He slouches his shoulders and adopts a stupid expression...)

SANDS: (mocking) Durrrrrrrrr, I are c-c-c-c-c-alling y-y-y-you's out-t-t-t-t-ts!

(Straightening up again...)

SANDS: You want a match, Doe? Fine by me. I’m always happy to pad my wins column with a throwaway match or two. You and me, next week on Aggression. You’ve got your wish, John. You’ve got it and everything that comes with it. Just remember.

You asked for it.

[Cue up: “Dark Machine” as Sands walks to the back, leaving Doe to glare after him.]



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DT: John Doe's gone insane - well, MORE insane! He's called out the former World Champion Christian Sands - and Sands has accepted!

MN: Sands is going to MURDER the kid. What is Doe THINKING?!

DT: You have to admire Doe's courage for calling out a man like Sands - but there's such a thing as aiming TOO high!

MN: His balls are bigger than his head! I just hope the kid filled out his will!

DT: I sort of agree.

MN: Mmm...

DT: In any case, we do need to move on. At Unleashed, the team of Golem and X-Ecutioner did a number on Second Coming backstage. Tonight, Second Coming is out for revenge - but in a match with a stipulation of Golem and X's choosing!

MN: Watch it be a Witch's Cauldron on a Pole match. Damn freaks. My dawg Storms will annihilate them.

DT: Let's head down to the ring!



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"Golem Invitational Match"
Second Coming vs. Golem & X-Ecutioner
TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen the following is a special “Golem Invitational” match!!

[CUE UP: “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails. X-Ecutioner and Golem appear on the stage, the former carrying a sledgehammer, the latter a rather large bound folder and a microphone. They make their way to the ring being bombarded by jeers from the crowd, taking their time. They both carefully climb the stairs, X-Ecutioner stepping over the top rope as Golem vaults into the ring over the ropes. They make their way over to the corner, smiling, as they wait for their opponents]

TONY FATORA: Introducing first, both hailing from Death Valley, weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and twenty three pounds... GOOOOOOLLLLLLLLEEEEEMMMMMMMM and his partner, the XXXXXXX-EEEEEEEECCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTIIIOOONNNNEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!!

DT: These two put in a good showing at Unleashed, unlucky in their pursuit of the tag team titles. But their attack on Storms and Doe in the backstage area was brutal.

[CUE UP: "The Final Countdown" Europe. As the opening chords of play, the arena goes black. As the introduction of the song continues, the words "A New Time Has Come" flash on the big screen above the ramp. As the words "The Final Countdown" are heard for the first time, an elaborate display of fireworks and lights signal the entrance of Matt Johansson and Bryan Storms. The two slide simultaneously under the bottom rope, stepping right into the faces of their opponents]

TONY FATORA: And their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred and seventy pounds, “The Perfect Ten” Matt Johansson, “The New Icon” Bryan Stoms....THE SEEEEECCCCCCCCOOOOOOOONNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD.........CCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIII INNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DT: Storms had a hellacious match against John Doe at Unleashed, using a shard of glass and threatening to stab Doe’s eyes out, but this could turn just as ugly.

MN: Looks like Golem’s got something to say...

Golem: Woah woah woah...easy there, tigers. It seems you guys obviously haven't read the rules, which I have right here, the one and only copy on Golem's Rules for this special "Golem Invitational" match. According to Rule 14-C, 'All participants must enter over the top rope, or else they will be duely disqualified.’

MN: What?!?! Ah, come on, we want blood!!!

[The crowd boo, as Storms and Johansson start swearing. The ref goes over and Golem shows him the rules. The ref shrugs, turning to The Second Coming and mouthing something along the lines of “That’s what it says”]

DT: An interesting turn of events here...

Golem: Fortunately....

[Suddenly, X-Ecutioner NAILS Johansson in the gut with the sledgehammer, doubling the Canadian up. Storms stands in shock, before making a move to save his partner]

Golem:... this match is no disqualification

[Golem attacks Storms with the microphone, knocking him down to the mat. X-Ecutioner stands with the sledgehammer ready, as the ref checks on the fallen team]

Golem: Now, ref, according to Rule 37-A, 'If participant A is born with the last name Storms and participant B is born with the last name Johansson, or said participants have to any time in their lives acquired these last names in some manner or fashion, said participants, hereafter referred to as Second Coming, must never both be in the ring in the same time, lest that motion be accepted as an immediate submission and surrender of the match.'

[The ref looks at Golem confused]

Golem: If they both enter the ring, they lose.

[Loud boos. Golem hands the rules to the ref to go over. The ref forces Johansson out of the ring, and then calls for the bell. Storms and Golem circle each other, before Golem charges in, clubbing the smaller man to the mat]

DT: One of the most bizarre turns I’ve EVER seen, as the Second Coming aren’t even allowed in the ring at the same time!!

MN: Kinda like Golem then; bizarre.

DT: Golem laying in the boots after that microphone shot earlier, as he lifts Storms off the mat, hooking in the face lock...SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE RIBS!! X-Ecutioner with those shots, taunting Johansson, who can do NOTHING but stand there and watch.

[Finally, Golem whips Storms into the corner, charging in with a clothesline as his partner leaves the ring, grabbing a couple of chairs. Golem continues to focus on Storms’ ribs, as X-Ecutioner sets two chairs up facing each other in the centre of the ring, taunting Johansson all the while. X-Ecutioner then moves over to Storms, as Golem steps back. The largest man in the match lifts Storms into the air, slamming him down with a Spinebuster out of the corner. Golem follows it up with an elbow drop, before both men lift Storms into the air, looking to throw him onto the chairs]

DT: Could be dangerous... NO!! Johansson manages to break it up, throwing what looks like a spanner straight at the back of Golem’s head!! X-Ecutioner drops Storms to the mat, and rushes Johansson, who just LEVELS him with a hard right.

[Rising slowly, blood trickling ever so slightly down the back of his head, Golem heads towards Johansson, who simply pulls the smaller of his opponents over the rope with a slam to the outside. X-Ecutioner tries to leave the ring, but Storms, having recovered somewhat, leaps over the chairs, hooks the larger man in a waist lock, and executes a release German suplex, narrowly missing the steel chairs. Holding his ribs, Storms folds up one of the chairs, bringing it down across the leg of the big man, as outside, Johansson whips Golem into the steps knees first]

MN: Wow!! This is great!! These two teams are REALLY laying into each other now, and it looks like the Second Coming have found a way to counter that not being allowed in the ring at the same time rule.

DT: Absolutely Mike, as Storms now starts working over the legs of the big X-Ecutioner with a leg lock, and Johansson just POUNDS on Golem on the outside. Picking him up again.. NO.. Golem slips out, and takes Johansson OVER the security barrier with a clothesline from behind.

[Quickly sliding back into the ring, Golem attacks Storms, kicking him in the damaged ribs. Storms yells out in pain, releasing the hold, as Golem applies a sleeper hold. X-Ecutioner gets to his feet slowly, limping over towards Storms, and connects with three hard right hands to the gut. He then turns, running the ropes, and on the rebound, goes for a flying clothesline]

DT: X-Ecutioner into the air... HOLY!! He missed, and went HARD into that chair Golem set up earlier!! Storms lucky he ducked there, as Golem stepped out of the way. X-Ecutioner looks in real pain, as Storms lays into Golem with lefts and rights. Irish whip setting up a.. back body drop, and Golem lands hard.

[Meanwhile, Johansson has managed to clear the cobwebs, calling for Storms to get out of the ring. As Storms slides out on one side, Johansson slides in on another, taking up one of the chairs in the ring and LEVELLING Golem and X-Ecutioner as they try to get it out of his hands]

MN: Johansson’s going mental with that chair, as he attacks like a man possessed. This match has been brutal, as Johansson lifts Golem up and slams him down hard, following him down with an elbow. Goes for the cover... X-Ecutioner breaks up the count.

[X-Ecutioner drives Johansson’s head into the canvas twice, before lifting him up in a gorilla press and, in a feat of strength, takes him down with a powerslam. Rather than covering, he stomps away, signalling for Golem. X-Ecutioner lifts Johansson up again, as Golem goes down on one knee. From the outside, Storms slides a third chair straight at the ankle of the big man, causing him to drop Johansson unceremoniously to the mat. Golem stands, going straight to work on the Canadian, as X-Ecutioner goes to the outside to battle Storms. The two slug it out, before Storms ducks a right hand, moving behind and nailing the big man with a German suplex right on the floor. Inside, Johansson manages to reverse an Irish whip into the corner, catching Golem as he falls out, executing a picture perfect fisherman suplex]

DT: Johansson has the cover!! One...

TWO...

THR..NO!! Golem just manages to fight out of the cover, as Johansson slams him down hard next to that chair, going up top... SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! Johansson with the shooting star, as Storms is fighting to keep X-Ecutioner on the outside... TWO..


THREE!!!!!! THE SECOND COMING HAVE WON!!!

MN: Holy cow!!! What a hard fought brawl there!!! Huh?!?

DT: What?

MN: Golem’s signalling for the mic as Storms and Johansson celebrate on the outside.

Golem: Not so fast...according to Rule 46-U, this match is a Submission only match. You can't win via pinfall.

DT: Another rule?!? I thought the ref had checked the rule book. Storms and Johansson can’t believe it, as the ref checks the rules again.

MN: Well boo hoo, I guess the Coming should have read the rules themselves.

DT: How could they? The ref has the only copy there is.

MN: So? They should’ve thought about that sooner.

[The ref, having checked the rules, calls the Second Coming back to the ring. Storms, holding his ribs, enters the ring, as Johansson goes to his corner. X-Ecutioner and Golem, weapons in hand, bait Storms, who inches over. Golem and his partner swing for Storms, who ducks under, dropkicking Golem from behind, and attacking X-Ecutioner with a flurry of punches. Golem gets to his feet quickly, bringing a chair straight to the back of Storms, whose cries of pain are clearly audible throughout the arena. X-Ecutioner picks up the smaller man, driving him back first into the corner, as Golem goes outside, looking under the ring for something to use. Johansson starts to make his way towards Golem, who finds a table, sliding it into the ring. Taunting Johansson, he slides in at the last minute, causing Matt to swear and slap the mat in frustration. Meanwhile, X-Ecutioner has taken the padding off of one of the turnbuckles, connecting with a Snake Eyes onto the exposed metal, causing Storms to bleed from the forehead. Golem sets up the table, tossing Storms onto it, before climbing the corner, as X-Ecutioner looks to throw him onto the prone Storms]

DT: And look at this carnage. Golem up top... X-Ecutioner hands him a chair now, as Johansson tries to rouse his partner. X-Ecutioner throws Golem... STORMS MOVED OUT OF THE WAY!! Golem goes straight through that table onto the chair he was holding, as Storms quickly crawls over for the tag!! Johansson pulls him out, and he’s just LAYING into X-Ecutioner with those kicks and fists. Scoops him up...slam ONTO that chair in the centre of the ring.

MN: I don’t know what to say. This is way better than I thought it would be, as neither team is able to get a clear advantage.

[Johansson executes a snap suplex on X-Ecutioner, before turning his attention to the recovering Golem. Lifting him up by his bloodied hair, he snapmares him back down, dropkicking him in the back of the head. Seeing X-Ecutioner starting to rise, Johansson takes him down with a clothesline, as Storms moves round the outside. Johansson tosses the larger man out to his partner, then goes back to work on Golem, tieing him up in the ropes by the neck, leaving him there whilst he goes to help Storms]

DT: Double teaming here from the Second Coming on the outside, as Storms suplexes X-Ecutioner onto Johansson’s knee!! The ref’s trying to help Golem... I don’t think this is what Golem had in mind when he wrote the rules.

MN: No way. This is MUCH better than I thought it would be. Johansson with taking apart the steps.. Storms putting X-Ecutioner’s leg on the lower steps...

DT: Don’t tell me...NO!! Golem manages to somehow springboard over the ropes and take Johansson out. Looks like the ref managed to untie him, but he’s holding his throat. He may have just saved his partner from a broken leg, as Storms attacks Golem now.

[From behind, X-Ecutioner clubs Storms down. He then picks Johansson up, dropping him throat first across the security barrier, before rolling Storms back into the ring. He finds his sledgehammer, using the end of the handle to nail Storms right in the solarplexus, before lifting him up in a bear hug, as Golem slowly makes his way into the ring. Setting up a chair, Golem taunts Storms as best he can, before applying the claw, that overgrown nail finisher of his. Storms screams momentarily, but refuses to give up from the combined pain]

DT: Storms fighting with everything he’s got, but those sledgehammer shots early on must’ve taken their toll on him. He’s trying to punch Golem away... X-Ecutioner swinging him like a rag doll.

MN: And I thought what Storms did to Doe at Unleashed was brutal.

DT: The ref’s checking on Storms... he’s fighting it... HIS ARMS’VE GONE LIMP!!! Bryan Storms looks to be out of it here, as Golem steps off the chair, going outside... he’s attacking Johansson, stopping him from helping his partner!!

MN: The ref’s checking Storms... he lifts the arm.. it falls. He’s totally out of it!!

DT: The ref checking a second time... if it falls again, it’s all over.

AND THERE IT IS!!! The ref signals for the bell, stopping the match after Storms’ arm drops a third time!!

MN: Aww, man!!

[SFX: “ding ding ding”]

TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this match by submission... GOOOOOLLLLLLEEEEEEEMMMMMMMM and the XXXXXXX-EEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUTTTTTTTIIIIIIOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DT: I think that was one of the most unusual matches I've called in awhile, Mike. Second Coming fought valiantly, but in the end the odds were stacked too heavily in favor of Golem and X-Ecutioner.

MN: That's so bull, man. Those freaks had the unfair advantage.

DT: Yes, but those were the stipulations. Perhaps a future rematch will yield a more fair result.

MN: Yeah, like my dogg Storms kicking the freaks from here to Kathmandu.

DT: We've got to take a quick break, folks, but when we come back - WAR GAMES!

MN: WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Cut to a commercial for Burger Sultan as the second ring and the cage begins to lower...]
 

DBrunkGXW

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DT: We're back! Mike, it's time for the match everyone's been waiting for! Eight men! Two rings! One cell! It's EMPIRE WAR GAMES, LIVE on Aggression!
MN: How many other feds bring you THIS kind of action on free TV, huh? EPW rules!

DT: None! And remember, we still have to hear who the special referee is!

MN: The anticipation is KILLING me!

DT: Let's take it to the ring!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


EMPIRE WAR GAMES
Special Referee: ???
Beast, Joey Melton, Cameron Cruise, & Adam Benjamin
vs.
Troy Douglas, Lindsay Troy, Christian Sands, & Jonathan Marx
[Cut to the dual rings, now enclosed inside the War Games cell. Standing at ringside is Tony Fatora, mic in hand.]

TONY FATORA: Th' following contest is EMPIRE WAR GAMES! The rules are as follows! One man from each team will begin the match. Every five minutes one new participant will enter the match. The first team to receive a second entrant will be determined by a coin toss! The next wrestler out will be from the opposite team, and this will continue back and forth until all eight wrestlers are in the ring, at which point a victory can be secured via the first pinfall or submission! And now... introducing the referee for this match...

[CUE UP: "Black Superman" - Above The Law. The crowd ERUPTS, recognizing the music. The curtains part, and out walks none other than BOOGIE SMALLZ in a referee-striped throwback jersey, puffing a blunt and carrying a bong. The crowd roars and flashes gang signs. Boogie raises the bong to the crowd, then saunters down to the ring, stowing the bong under the apron and handing the blunt to a lucky stoner in the front row. He then slips into the dual rings and plays to the crowd.]

TONY FATORA: From Brooklyn, New York... THISSSSSSS ISSSSSSSSSS BOOGIEEEEEEEEEEEE... SMAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZ!!!

DT: All I can say is - WOW!!! I can't BELIEVE what I'm seeing! The last Global X-Treme Wrestling Unified World Champion, Boogie Smallz, is the special referee for War Games!

MN: MY DAWG!!! PUFF DAT BLUNT, YO!!!

DT: Say what you will about Smallz' habits, Boogie Smallz is as tough as they come! He's defeated such notables as Dan Ryan, John Miller, Lindsay Troy, and Christian Sands in his career and was headlining the late Global X-Treme Wrestling before management issues send them into chapter 11! What a coup for EPW!

[Loose yourself by Emiem begins to blast as "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin makes his way slowly to the ring. Adam is wearing two English flag bandana's one that cover his head and the other that covers the lower part of his face revealing only his stone cold eyes. Adam makes his way into the ring and stands firm in his corner waiting for the bell to ring.]

TONY FATORA: Introducing first... He hails from the United Kingdom... He weighs in at two hundred and forty-six pounds... He issssss ADAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM... BEEEEEEEEEN-JAMIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!!

DT: The look of focus on Adam Benjamin's face tells the whole story here, Mike. War Games is no laughing matter, and it seems Benjamin realizes that as one of the first two men out, he's in a very bad position.

MN: I'll say.

[Cue up: "Heartbreaker" - Led Zeppelin. The crowd boos thunderously (save for a few hottie pops) as Lindsay Troy strides confidently down the ramp, ignoring the pissants on either side of the ramp. She steps into the cage and flashes Benjamin a smirk and a little 'you-wish-you-could-have-this' pose. Benjamin doesn't know what to think.]

TONY FATORA: From Tampa, Florida... She is the Queen of the Ring... LIIIIIIINDSAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY... TROOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYY!!!

DT: Oh dear! What a pickle for Adam Benjamin, who's repeatedly claimed that he doesn't want to lay a hand on Troy!

MN: I'd lay BOTH hands on her! Now shut up and help me find my hand lotion!

[SFX: *DINGDINGDING* - Bell rings.]

[Smirking, Troy begins to circle Benjamin slowly, as if daring him to attack her. For his part, Benjamin raises both his hands fastidiously.]

DT: Troy's circling Benjamin like a shark, but he's not moving to attack!

MN: Why would he NOT want to put his hands on Troy? She's HOT!

DT: He's a gentleman, I guess.

MN: If Benjamin's gentle, I'm Paige Davis.

[It's Troy who makes the first move. She darts behind Benjamin and kicks him in the ass before he can turn. Scowling, Benjamin whirls and glares at her, but Troy just grins, reaching out to pinch Benjamin's cheek insultingly.]

DT: This is insulting! Troy's trying to humiliate Adam Benjamin!

[The two square off again. Benjamin again raises his hands - only for Troy to meet him with a pair of jabs to the face. Troy whips Benjamin into the ropes and rebounds to score with a big leg lariat, taking the former Intercontinental Champion down.]

DT: Oh! Troy takes Benjamin to the mat with that big kick!

MN: *sigh* Look at those legs...

DT: Uh, Mike? I think she'll kick your ass if she hears you talking like that.

[Benjamin wobbles to his feet, and Troy moves in to pepper him with more jabs. Whipping him across the ring into a corner, she sets him up and catches him stumbling out of the turnbuckles, dropping him with a neckbreaker. Benjamin rolls away, holding his neck and recovering.]

DT: These early moments of the match are crucial, Mike. Gaining control when that five minute timer in the corner of your screen goes down could make or break this match, because you don't know if the next man out will be a friend or a foe.

MN: Don't you just love how Benjamin's getting rocked out by a woman?

[As Benjamin begins recovering, Troy advances on him and picks away at him with hard stomps. Picking Benjamin up, she tosses him to the ropes and delivers a crisp back body drop, sending the Englishman over the ropes of one ring over into the second! Benjamin lands hard, holding his back.]

DT: And Benjamin sent into that second ring as Troy is completely dominant here!

MN: I'd let her dominate me. Ooh.

DT: Submissive.

MN: For her, anything.

[Wincing, Benjamin stumbles to his feet. Troy hops the ropes after him and brings him to the mat with a running facecrusher, then taunts the booing fans with some choice words. She strikes a brief pose, then strides back to Benjamin, shaking her ass at him.]

MN: OHH! Where the hell is that lotion?!

DT: Troy's taunting Adam Benjamin here! She's... flaunting her sexuality at him!

MN: I hope she never stops!

[That choice proves a bad one for Troy. Finally pissed off, Benjamin grabs her in a waistlock from behind and German suplexes her with authority.]

DT: Wait a minute - BIG German suplex from Adam Benjamin!

MN: BOOOOO! It's not gentlemanly to hurt a lady!

[The move catches Troy by surprise. She kips to her feet and rushes Benjamin, only to eat a kick to the gut and a snap suplex. The crowd is fully behind Benjamin despite the misogyny. Yours Truly picks up Troy and shoves her into the corner, unloading with hard knife-edged chops.]

DT: Benjamin's going to the chopping block on Troy here! He's just about chopping her out of her shirt!

MN: Out of her shirt?! I don't know whether to blast him or praise him!

[After a few more chops, Smallz interjects himself between the two, yelling at Benjamin to get Troy out of the corner. Benjamin scowls at the special referee, then drags Troy out of the corner for a bulldog. Troy grabs the top rope, causing Benjamin to land on the back of his head.]

DT: Benjamin going for the bulldog, but Troy blocks! Great ring awareness by the Queen!

MN: Damn right!

[Taking advantage of Benji's spill, Troy moves in and drops a knee across the Englishman's neck. Benjamin jerks at the impact. Unsympathetic, Troy knees him in the face a couple times, then picks him up and drills him with an underhook DDT.]

DT: Troy wearing down Benjamin here, gaining her team a crucial advantage in the early going!

MN: That's what Benji gets for joining the Maelstrom School of Gender Politics.

[Benjamin holds his head as he comes to his feet. Grinning, Troy hooks him up for a suplex, but Benjamin suddenly takes her down, forcing her into a Sharpshooter!]

DT: SHARPSHOOTER! Benjamin popped that hold out of nowhere!

MN: NO! STUPID BANJOMAN!!!

DT: BENJAMIN WORKING THAT HOLD IN VIGOROUSLY, and Troy is in a WORLD of pain!

MN: This is wrong! Someone stop this!

DT: Pinfalls and submissions don't count yet, but this hold is wearing Troy down enough that Benjamin's team might have a man advantage easily!

MN: The counter!

DT: The clock's counting down!

[CROWD: FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!]

[SFX: *BUZZZZZZZ*]

DT: Who's coming out - NO!

[The crowd boos as Christian Sands runs down the ramp, kicking his way into the cage. Benjamin releases the sharpshooter, only for Sands to deck him with a monster clothesline.]

DT: Christian Sands is in, as it looks like Troy's team won the coin toss in the back! This is very bad for Adam Benjamin, as he's outnumbered two to one in there with the Queen of the Ring and a former World Champion!

MN: MY DAWG! This is off the hook NOW, yo!

[As Benjamin comes to his feet, Sands scoops him up and delivers a powerful back suplex, stunning the smaller man. Recovering, Troy runs the ropes and drops across Altaro with a flipping leg drop. Sands and Troy then exchange a high-five, clasping hands and dropping a tandem elbow onto Benjamin.]

DT: Big double elbow by Sands and Troy, as they're dismantling Adam Benjamin in there!

MN: I mean, Troy's bad enough, but when you throw in the rightful World's Champion, Benjamin's TOAST!

[Picking Benjamin up roughly, Sands and Troy whip him into the ropes, decking him on the way back with a double clothesline. The two baddies exchange smirks. Sands sets his foot against Benjamin's face and begins grinding his heel into the Englishman's mouth.]

DT: This is disgusting! Sands is forcing Benjamin to eat boot!

MN: That's what Benjamin gets for claiming he's more of a main eventer than the World's Champion!

DT: There's no justification for this at all!

[Pushing with his heel, Sands backs Benjamin into a corner and begins stomping at the other man. Troy joins him, and the two partners stomp a mudhole into Benjamin as the crowd boos. After a moment, Sands sidesteps. Troy crosses the ring, then runs at Benjamin to slam him in the jaw with a baseball slide!]

DT: OH! Baseball slide by Troy, and I think Benjamin just spat up blood!

MN: Good! Stupid Banjoman!

[A smirk touches Troy's face as she crosses the ring again. She attempts a second baseball slide... but Benjamin rushes out of the corner and SPEARS the surprised woman with authority!]

DT: SPEAR! SPEAR BY BENJAMIN!

MN: WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?!?!

[Troy goes down hard. Sands attempts to intercept Benjamin with a lariat, but the Englishman ducks it and swings Sands into a rough German suplex! Troy rolls to her feet, and Benjamin snap-suplexes her crisply! The crowd roars as Benjamin's adrenaline begins to flow.]

DT: Benjamin's throwing suplexes left and right! He's found his second wind!

MN: The clock's winding down!

[As Benjamin delivers another suplex to Sands, the crowd counts.]

CROWD: FIVE... FOUR... THREE... TWO... ONE...

[SFX: *BUZZZZZZZ*]

DT: Who is it --- IT'S JOEY MELTON!!!

MN: WOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YEAAAAAAH BABY!!!

[Melton takes his time going down the ramp. In the meantime, Benjamin has whipped Troy into the ropes, sending her spilling into the ring nearest the ramp. It is into this ring that Melton steps. He looks down at Troy, frowning thoughtfully.]

DT: Looks like Melton's torn over whether or not to attack Lindsay Troy here!

MN: He BETTER not! I wouldn't even know who to cheer for!

[The indecision is momentarily. In the other ring, Benjamin tries to suplex Sands again, but the bigger man reverses into his own suplex. He then runs, jumps, and flies over both ring ropes to catch Melton with a neckbreaker as the crowd pops!]

DT: WHAT A NECKBREAKER BY SANDS, flying over BOTH sets of ring ropes to crack Melton!

MN: THAT WAS FRICKIN' SLICK!!!

[As Melton comes to his feet, Sands abandons subtlety and slugs the legend in the mouth. He throws Melton into the corner, yells a few choice curses into his face, and starts chopping away at him.]

DT: Sands going to the chopping block! He's picking Melton apart here!

MN: I STILL don't know who to root for! It sucks to have favorites on both sides!

[Melton manages to force an arm up, blocking Sands' chops. He quickly reverses the big man into the corner and throws a series of knees. However, Troy grabs him from behind and takes him down with a reverse DDT... only for Adam Benjamin to enter the first ring, run OVER the downed Troy, and leap off her stomach to hit Sands with a body splash in the corner!]

DT: HOLY COW!!! WHAT A MOVE BY ADAM BENJAMIN, JUMPING OFF TROY'S BODY TO SPLASH SANDS!!!

MN: THAT WAS FREAKIN' COOL!!!

CROWD: BEN-JA-MIN!!! BEN-JA-MIN!!!

[Reeling, Sands stumbles out of the corner, tripping over Troy and Melton and falling on his face. Benjamin takes advantage of this to drop an elbow across Sands' back. Recovering, Melton does likewise. The two unlikely allies pick the former World Champion up and whip him into the ropes, decking him with a tandem side kick.]

DT: Great teamwork by Melton and Benjamin, as Christian Sands is being totally dominated in there!

MN: And that's something you don't see every day!

[Troy slowly wobbles to her feet, resting in a corner. Melton and Benjamin stay focused on Sands, however. Melton pulls Sands up in a half-nelson, shooting him into the cage. As Sands bounces off, Benjamin takes him up and over with a backdrop suplex!]

DT: Combo attack by Melton and Benjamin - and it looks like Sands is busted open above the eye!

MN: It wouldn't be a cage environment without blood!

[Wiping blood from his face, Sands comes to his feet unsteadily. Melton remedies that by chop-blocking his leg. Troy comes out of her corner to attack, only for Benjamin to take her down into an armbar, locking it in tightly. Meanwhile, Melton begins working over Sands' knee with kneedrops, locking in a side kneebar.]

DT: Dual submissions by Melton and Benjamin! They're firmly in control of this War Games match, and this crowd loves it!

MN: INDECISION! ARGH! Quick! Flip a coin! Which team to cheer for?!

DT: I don't have a coin!

MN: BAH! Poor man!

DT: I'm NOT poor!

MN: If you weren't, you'd have a coin!

DT: But - the clock's running down!

CROWD: FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!

[SFX: *BUZZZZZZZZZZ*]

DT: IT'S TROY DOUGLAS!!! IT'S THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!!!

MN: MEGATRON'S BRINGIN' HIS PREDACON POWAH!!!

[Hailed by the roar of the crowd, Douglas rushes into the cell and immediately yanks Benjamin off of Troy, body-slamming him across Melton to a big crowd reaction! As Douglas stomps away at Benjamin, Sands and Troy roll into the second ring to recover some of their stamina.]

DT: Douglas is on the attack! He's the freshest man in the match, and he's putting that to good use!

MN: He's stomping those puny Autobots into fine powder!

[Grabbing Melton by the collar, Douglas hurls him out of the corner and lobs him into the second ring, then picks Benjamin up and scores with a powerslam. In the second ring, Sands grabs Melton in a full nelson. Troy takes advantage and begins pummeling Melton's ribs ruthlessly. Melton struggles, but can't escape Sands' grip.]

DT: That's despicable! Troy's taking free shots on the restrained Melton!

MN: Man... She's nasty, but HOT.

DT: I don't see it. She's just a damn Jezebel.

MN: ...And is this match a slobberknocker?

DT: Quiet.

[The free shots don't last long, as Boogie Smallz interjects himself and yells at Sands, ordering him to release Melton. Sands flips him the finger, but complies... slowly. Troy then kicks Melton in the teeth. In the other ring, Douglas lobs Benjamin into another corner, dragging him out with a big belly-to-belly suplex!]

DT: Textbook overhead suplex by Troy Douglas! Benjamin and Melton are in a world of trouble here!

[In the other ring, Melton slumps down to his hands and knees. Disdainfully, Sands pushes him over with his boot. Melton falls onto his back, allowing Troy to legdrop him. Sands follows by applying a seated dragon sleeper to the legend. Seeing Melton under control, Troy hops into the other ring. She and Douglas set Benjamin on the top rope, taking him down with a tandem superplex!]

DT: DOUBLE SUPERPLEX by Douglas and Troy!

MN: Well, I guess two suplexes are better than one!

[Melton fights Sands' submission in the other ring, but it's clear that he's fading. Meanwhile, Douglas picks Benjamin up and whips him into the ropes, bringing him back for a back body drop. Benjamin sees it and jumps over him and decks Troy with a flying knee!]

DT: OH! KNEE by Adam Benjamin!

MN: OUCH! That hit HARD!

[Benjamin turns to face Douglas... and the number one contender promptly powerslams him.]

DT: OHHHH no! Benjamin gets shut down by Troy Douglas!

MN: That was a ROUGH powerslam, man!

DT: Meanwhile, Melton is STILL being choked out by Christian Sands!

[Back in the second ring, Melton fights slowly to his feet. He reaches behind Sands and tries to snapmare him, but Sands waistlocks him and drops him on his head with a back suplex. As Melton totters to his feet, Sands superkicks him in the jaw, taking him down. In the first ring, Benjamin is thrust into a corner and punched powerfully by Troy and Douglas until Boogie Smallz interjects himself, lecturing the two.]

MN: I can't believe Boogie Smallz is actually making a decent ref. He doesn't seem like the type.

DT: Drugs or no, Smallz is a professional who knows the rules of the ring better than most.

[Troy and Douglas ignore Smallz and continue attacking Benjamin. However, the clock is running down.]

CROWD: FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!

[SFX: *BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*]
 

DBrunkGXW

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CROWD: *HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE POP!!!!*
DT: IT'S BEAST!!! IT'S BEAST!!!

MN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[The crowd ROARS as Beast charges down the ramp, exploding into the rings! He promptly grabs Douglas off of Benjamin and destroys him with a huge German suplex! Sands drops Melton and rushes to the rescue, but Beast SPEARS him to the canvas like a charging bull!]

[And then Beast turns to face Lindsay Troy.]

DT: Beast staring down Lindsay Troy! He's ENRAGED that she betrayed his trust after all this time!

MN: BOO! HISS! Troy can kick his ass!

[Impudent, Troy mouths off at Beast. The big man is unmoved. He scowls at her for a moment... then grabs her by the hair and prepares to slug her in the mouth!]

DT: BEAST'S GOING TO DECK TROY!!

[Or not. Grimacing, Douglas comes up behind Beast and spins him around, firing off a round of jabs. Beast is mostly unfazed. He throws a knee to Douglas' gut, then wheels him into the second ring, following him in to deliver a brutal side suplex.]

DT: Beast going to town on the number one contender here! As the freshest men in the match, the brawl between these two will be the most intense!

MN: You mean Beast loafs around punching him while Douglas throws REAL moves at him?

DT: Stop.

[Beast hammers on Douglas as everyone else recovers. The big World's Champion whips the number one contender into a corner and clotheslines him hard, then beels him out powerfully. Douglas hands hard on his back, only to eat a dropkick from the recovering Joey Melton!]

DT: Melton and Beast double-teaming Douglas here!

MN: Okay, now I'm cheering for Megatron's team.

[Seeing Douglas incapacitated for now, Beast hops back into the other ring, but is met by chops from Sands. The big man fights back, and the two rivals slug it out in the first ring. Meanwhile, Troy and Benjamin have recovered. Troy swings at Benjamin with a big right hand, but Benjamin ducks and takes her down into a cross armbreaker.]

DT: I can barely follow the action here! There's too much happening at once!

MN: I'll say!

[Benjamin works the submission in on Troy, and she claws for the ropes in pain. Meanwhile, Beast catches Sands with a knee, then brings him up and mauls him with a huge powerbomb. Grimly, Beast elbow-drops his old rival, then picks him up and wheels him into the cage!]

DT: OH! Sands eats the steel wall!

MN: He always seems to do that...

[A bleeding Sands stumbles off the cage wall, and Beast picks him up to mangle him with a brutal press slam. Menawhile, Melton and Douglas slug it out - that is, until Melton kicks Douglas in the knee, then starts elbow-dropping said knee repeatedly.]

DT: Melton going to work on Douglas' knee in the second ring as Beast's team is in firm control here!

MN: The clock!

DT: It's counting down!

CROWD: FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!

[SFX: *BUZZZZZZZZ*]

DT: And here comes Jonathan Marx!

[As Melton begins applying the Figure Four to Douglas, Marx rushes into the cage. He goes right for Beast, stunning him with a forearm, then jumps on Benjamin and applies an anklelock. In pain, Benjamin breaks the hold on Troy and tries to fight out of Marx's grip, but he's exhausted.]

DT: Marx is in, and he's looking to polish off Adam Benjamin! Yours Truly has been in there since the start, and both him and Lindsay Troy are exhausted!

MN: I would be too, man. This has gone nearly half an hour.

[Recovering somewhat, Sands cracks Beast with a jawbreaker, stunning him. He then hops the ropes with Troy behind him. The two drag Melton off of Douglas and hurl him into a corner, pounding him in the face with rights and lefts, busting him open above the right eye.]

DT: And now Joey Melton is busted open above the eye!

MN: Man, those punches must've been hard as hell!

DT: They certainly are!

[Again Smallz interjects himself into the proceedings, pushing Sands and Troy back from Melton. Sands shoves past his old rival and splashes Melton in the corner, only for Smallz to admonish him. Meanwhile, Douglas hops over and goes after Beast, and the two begin duking it out in the first ring.]

DT: Brawling here, brawling there, brawling everywhere!

MN: This is NUTS! I can't even tell who's winning!

[At this point Adam Benjamin is pretty much totally out of it. He's this close to tapping to Marx's anklelock, but fortunately submissions don't count until everyone's in the ring. Marx finally releases the hold and stomps Benjamin tactlessly in the corner.]

DT: Looks like Benjamin's completely dead here, having been picked apart by Jon Marx.

[Thrusting a shoulder into Beast's gut, Douglas takes him up and over with a northern lights suplex. He drops an elbow on Beast and grabs a sleeper hold. Meanwhile, Troy and Sands hurl Melton against the cage wall like a battering ram, working open his cut!]

DT: OH! Melton gets sent into the cage, and he's BLEEDING PROFUSELY here!

MN: Man! He's gushing like crazy!

[As Melton stumbles off the cage wall, Sands and Troy sweep him up and drop him with a double spinebuster.]

CROWD: FIVE! FOUR!

DT: The count!

CROWD: THREE! TWO! ONE!

[SFX: *BUZZZZZZZZZZ*]

DT: And here comes Cameron Cruise! Pinfalls and submissions are now legal!

[Apparently Marx was expecting this. He drags the limp Benjamin out of the corner and pins him quickly.]

DT: COVER BY MARX!

ONE!

TWO!

NO! CRUISE SAVES IT!!!

MN: That was CLOSE! Marx had Benjamin down and was just WAITING for falls to come into effect to try and get the quick win!

DT: Great strategy by Marx, but Cruise managed to save the match for his team in the nick of time!

[Picking Beast up and delivering a sleeper drop, Douglas plods over to Cruise and starts hammering on him. Cruise fights back with a European uppercut, but Douglas and Marx double-team him, scoring with repeated elbow smashes before Marx hits a fisherman's suplex, bridging.]

DT: Fisherman's suplex!

One!

TWO!

Cruise kicks out!

MN: He's too fresh to pin!

DT: Douglas going for Benjamin!

ONE!

TWO!

THRNO!!! BEAST SAVES IT!!!

[While that's going on, Sands and Troy dump Melton against the cage again, then saunter into the first ring to attack Beast with stomps. However, Beast spears Troy to the canvas with authority! Sands moves to attack, but Benjamin stirs, reaching up to schoolboy the big man!]

DT: SCHOOLBOY BY BENJAMIN!!!

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

NO!!! SANDS KICKS OUT!!!

MN: I thought Benji was DEAD!

[His last ounce of strength spent, Benjamin slumps to the mat, trying to regain his stamina. Beast, meanwhile, shoves Troy into a corner and knees her in the gut, then Irish-whips her... only for her to collide accidentally with Boogie Smallz! Troy goes down, but Boogie manages to regain his balance, glaring at Beast.]

DT: Troy gets sent into Smallz for a mid-ring collision, and the special referee does NOT like that!

MN: I bet Smallz is gonna cap him any second now!

[Beast and Smallz exchange a few words before the world Champion moves on to Troy Douglas, body slamming him down. Meanwhile, Sands and Marx double-team Cameron Cruise in the corner. They set him up for a double suplex; however, Cruise recovers and jumps down, bringing both men down in a double reverse bulldog!]

DT: WOW! GREAT counter by Cruise, bulldogging both Sands and Marx in reverse from the top!

MN: That boy is nuts!

[Cruise's moment in the sun doesn't last. He picks up Marx, but gets hotshotted by the Gentleman into the cage wall! Marx then drags him down into the Marxism!]

DT: MARXISM!!! MARXISM ON CRUISE!!!

MN: IT'S SO OVER!!!

DT: CRUISE IS TRYING TO FIGHT TO THE ROPES!!!

[In the process of setting Douglas up for an Absolution, Beast breaks off the attack to kick Marx off of Cruise. He picks up the Gentleman and presses him into the air, launching him at Sands to take both opponents down!]

DT: OH! BEAST USING MARX AS A PROJECTILE TO NAIL SANDS!!!

MN: AIRRRRRRR MARXIIIIIIIE!!!

[Over in the second ring, Melton is recovering. Troy is down, as is Benjamin. Sands and Marx are both reeling. Beast heads back to Douglas and hooks him up for an Absolution, but Douglas back body drops him!]

DT: OH! Back body drop by Troy Douglas, blocking the Absolution!

MN: Virtually everyone is down!

[Tiredly, Douglas pushes Beast into a corner, setting him up and preparing for the End of the Road. However, Beast's stamina hasn't run down yet. He fights against Douglas, blocking the move.]

DT: Douglas looking for the End of the Road, but Beast's fighting it!

MN: Come on, Megatron! Hit him!

DT: Beast's straining! Douglas can't get him up!

[As Beast fights, Melton comes wobbling into the first ring as Marx recovers. Melton slugs Marx a few times, but Marx returns fire with a chop. Melton is thrown backwards and stumbles into Beast. The big World's Champion is momentarily distracted... allowing Douglas to deliver the End of the Road!]

DT: Wait! Miscommunication - Melton hits Beast by accident - AND THE END OF THE ROAD CONNECTS!!!

MN: No WAY that one chop could've made Melton stumble that much!

DT: DOUGLAS COVERS!!!

ONE!!!


TWO!!!



...BEAST KICKS OUT- THREE?!?!?!

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]

MN: What was THAT?!

DT: I don't know! It looked like Beast kicked out of the End of the Road, but referee Boogie Smallz made the three count anyway!

MN: SCREWJOB!

DT: I don't know! Did Smallz just not see it? I can't even guess!

TONY FATORA: Here are your winnerrrrs... The team of Jonathan Marx, Christian Sands, Lindsay Troy, and TRRRRROOOOOOOOOOYYYY DOOOOOOOUGLAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DT: What a controversial decision! Not only did Beast apparently kick out of the deciding pinfall - it looked as if Joey Melton may have aided that situation by accidentally colliding with his teammate!

MN: Accidental? No way. That was intentional.

DT: How do you know?

MN: I don't, but this is fishy.

DT: Folks, I think Beast may have just gotten screwed!

[Coming to his feet, Beast stares at Smallz intensely. The last of the GXW Champions shrugs slowly, claiming he didn't see Beast kick out. Beast yells at him. Smallz and Beast go nose-to-nose, talking **** to each other.]

DT: I think this is going to explode! Smallz and Beast are THIS CLOSE to going at it! We could have an all-out brawl here!

[From the corner, Lindsay Troy and Christian Sands watch, smirking. Just as the two champions are about to attack each other, Troy smirks, then grabs Sands by the back of the head, reels him in - and kisses him quickly and intensely. It's over before he can respond. As she breaks the kiss, Sands blinks, then smirks at Troy, She smirks back. Beast looks pissed.]

MN: Weh?

DT: What was THAT all about?

MN: SANDS IS THE LUCKIEST MAN IN THAT RING RIGHT NOW. Anyone who gets a smooch from Lindsay Troy is COOL.

DT: I wouldn't say that. She's a Jezebel, and he's no better-

[Abruptly, Joey Melton slinks up behind Troy, whirls her around, and plants a big kiss on her. She doesn't fight it. However, Sands does... by punching Melton in the face!]

DT: MELTON now with a kiss - AND SANDS NAILS HIM RIGHT IN THE KISSER!!!

MN: OUCH! That's gotta hurt!

[Caught by surprise, Melton takes a tumble, and Sands goes after him. Troy restrains him, however, and the two shout at each other for a long moment. Finally, Sands draws in a breath and walks away. He and Troy depart the cage, Marx, Benjamin, and Cruise having long since gone as well. Meanwhile, Beast and Smallz are still shouting at each other.]

DT: Well, that's one situation defused - but Beast and Smallz are still at each other's throats!

[The situation explodes. Infuriated, Beast slugs Smallz, who slugs back. The two monsters begin to brawl, hammering on each other like insane giants!]

DT: THIS THING HAS EXPLODED!!! SMALLZ AND BEAST ARE PUMMELING EACH OTHER, AND HERE COMES EMPIRE SECURITY!!!

[As Smallz and Beast punch each other fiercely, the cage begins to raise. A bunch of security guys rush the ring and restrain Smallz first. The guards try and restrain Beast, but he fights them.]

DT: Security's trying to get this thing under control - and Troy Douglas is helping!

MN: Goody two-shoes that he is!

[Douglas is among the security guards trying to restrain Beast. Unfortunately, Beast spots him, reaching out to punch him in the head! Losing his cool, Douglas fights back until more security guards pull them apart!]

DT: This is a very touchy situation! Beast must feel like he got screwed, and Douglas and Smallz may be responsible!

MN: Man! It's like a bomb!

DT: Folks, I'm sorry, but we're out of time! For Mike Neely, I'm Dave Thomas! This has been Aggression! TUNE IN NEXT WEEK!

[Fade to credits, then to black as Smallz, Douglas, and Beast stare each other down through the security...]
 

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