MAIN EVENT: KOTC SEMi-FINALS: Anarky(c)/Rezin v. Impulse/Stevens
DT: We're back and it's time for our main event...
MN: Why do I suddenly crave cookies, and want to go see some monkeys?
DM: You want to see monkeys because monkeys are awesome, but you crave cookies because you're a fat turd.
MN: Your mom craves cookies.
DM: Are you still talking?
MN: Shut up.
DT: Fascinating, guys... let's go up to the ring....
[Bell rings, crowd buzzing.]
TF: The following contest is the MAIN EVENT of the evening and it is a SEMI-FINAL match in the King of the Cage tournament! Also Anarky has put his EPW World Television ANTI-Championship on the line!
[MUSIC UP: “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie. The crowd gets LOUD with boos as Anarky and Rezin make their way to the ring. Rezin barefoot in his poorly fitting black pants, Anarky in his skull face paint, tattered shirt with the Anarchy logo, blue jeans and boots, the EPW TV Anti-Championship around his waist.]
TF: Making their way to the ring at a total combined weight of 444 pounds…The team of ANNNNNARKYYYYY!!! And REZZZZINNNNN!!!
DT: These two men want to tear down everything EPW stands for and tonight they face maybe the biggest legend in the history of this company and a man many see as a rising star who is in the hunt to become EPW World Champion…
MN: Stevens is big time, but I’m worried about him tonight, Impulse can’t hang with these two and once he goes down it’s going to be a two on one…As far as I’m concerned MJ2 had more backup going into his match with these maniacs than Stevens does tonight
[MUSIC UP: “The One” by GOOD MUSIC ft. Marsha Ambrose. The crowd pops big as the music fills the arena.]
"THE STORM IS ON THE HORIZON ... I'M STANDING HERE ALONE...."
[Marsha sang, as the EMPIRE-tron. …as several images flash starting with an up-close photo of a blue-eyed baby – crawling, playing football, and basketball … things that babies generally do.
"SEE, I'M A MOTHERFUCKING SOLDIER, AND I'MMA BE HERE 'TIL IT'S DONE."
CUT TO: Several more images. The first was an older Sean Stevens, in amateur wrestling gear; in a cap and gown – signifying graduation. The scene then shifted to Sean in the audience, in what looked to be a wrestling arena, before cutting to the final image of Sean, in the middle of a death defying leap from a forty-foot high camera tower, as his foe – below – laid unconscious.
"AND, WHEN THEY ASK YOU WHO I AM, SHIT, YOU JUST TELL 'EM THAT I'M ... THE ONE!"
CUT TO: The very last image. One of "Triple X" Sean Stevens in the center of the ring, being handed a crown, tired, sweaty, yet triumphant.
BOOOOOOOOM!
[Pyro goes off as the crowd gets LOUD as Stevens and Impulse come through the curtain, the two men at a fast walk as they head towards the ring. Impulse in a leather jacket, white tights and ring boots with the green green/heart beat logo, Stevens in his trademark black tights with blue X’s across the legs and seat. “Greatest EPW Superstar” T-Shirt on.]
TF: And their opponents, weighing in at a total combined weight of 431 pounds…IMPUUUUULLLLSSSEEE!!! And TRIPLE X!! SEANNNNN!!! STEVVVVVEEEENNNNSSS!!!!
DT: These two men went through a war last week with Cruise and The First and now it’s just getting harder fighting Anarky and Rezin.
DM: If anyone can handle what the Bracket of Death has thrown at them, it’s Impulse and Stevens, they have what it takes to make it to the finals even with the tough draw they have gotten.
MN: By saying they can handle it, you mean that they have Sean Stevens and he’s enough, I hope you’re right Dean, tonight’s going to be the biggest test of his career since Impulse will likely be running out of the cage and on a plane back to New York after five minutes fighting these two killers.
[Stevens and Impulse hit the cage, Pat Jones doing as best he can to keep the four men apart, Impulse hands his jacket to the ring girl as Stevens discards his shirt. The cage door locks and the bell rings!]
DT: All four men going right at each other and the FIGHT...IS…ON!! Anarky and Impulse, Stevens and Rezin are the pairs and all four men are throwing strikes as hard and as fast as they can! Impulse ducks under a right and now LACES INTO ANARKY WITH CHOPS! Anarky staggers…DROPKICK SENDS HIM DOWN! Meanwhile Stevens has backed Rezin into a corner and is just BLASTING him with right hands and the former Dopesmoker slumps to the mat!
MN: Oh there’s nothing former about his dopesmoking, he’s likely high as a kite in there!
DT: Stevens over to help Impulse, they get Anarky up to his feet and send him into the ropes…FLAPJACK BY STEVENS AND IMPULSE! STEVENS WITH A COVER!
ONE!!
TWO!!
NO!!
DM: You know it’s going to take a lot more than that to put down Anarky.
MN: Yeah, which is why they should ignore him and focus on Rezin, he’ll fold like Superman on laundry day!
DT: Impulse back to his feet…DROPKICK BY REZIN! Rezin came flying out of that corner and just dropped the Marathon Man with a foot to the face…Rezin and Stevens now trading punches…Anarky grabs Stevens by the legs and drags him down, Rezin now stomping away on the back of Stevens, Impulse over and he’s jumps on Rezin’s back and tries to sink in a sleeper! Anarky back to his feet, gouges Impulse in the eye and grabs him off of Rezin…THROWS IMPULSE FACE FIRST INTO THE CAGE!! IMPULSE STAGGERS…INTO THE CAGE AGAIN!
MN: Dammit! I knew this was going to happen, this stiff can’t carry Stevens shoes much less hold his weight in there, it’s going to be a long road to victory for Stevens.
DT: While Triple X’s number one fanboy laments the plight of his hero Stevens has Rezin…DROPS HIM THROAT FIRST ON THE TOP ROPE! Rezin falls to the mat and now Anarky and Stevens are circling in the middle of the ring.
DM: Stevens and Anarky are the only two previous world champions since Stevens won the belt who have not fought each other in a one on one match up, we’re going to get a taste of it right now!
DT: Stevens and Anarky trading shots…Stevens with a knee to the gut doubles over Anarky…SNAP SUPLEX BY TRIPLE X! STEVENS FLOATS OVER INTO A COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
DT: Anarky throws the shoulder off the mat at 2…Stevens grabs him and sends him into the ropes…POWERSLAM BY TRIPLE X AND A COVER!
ONE!
TWO!!
THR-NO!!
DT: REZIN BREAKS IT UP! Rezin now hammering away on Stevens…He backs Triple X into a corner and whips him to the other side…REZIN WITH A JUMPING CLOTHESLINE INTO THE CORNER!
MN: Dammit! It’s a two on one in there! This isn’t right!
DT: Stevens down on the mat, Rezin waiting for him to get back to his feet…Stevens staggers back up…DAMASCUS HEEL! REZIN TOOK HIS HEAD OFF!! A COVER BY REZIN!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR—NO!
DT: IMPULSE WITH THE SAVE! Impulse now has Rezin back on his feet and he’s hammering him with kicks to the stomach and LACING him with chops to the chest! Impulse now with a drop toe hold takes Rezin to the mat…IMPULSE LOCKS IN A HEEL HOOK!! REZIN SCREAMING IN PAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!
DM: The ropes won’t help him either! He’s got to escape the hold or this is over!
DT: Impulse ripping away at that foot of Rezin who is thrashing around on the mat trying his damnest to get free…Anarky back to his feet, Impulse sees him and breaks the hold…Stevens back up as Rezin now crawls towards Anarky and gets back to his feet…All four men standing in the ring now, we’re back to square one!
DM: We’ve had the opening salvos of this match and it’s ended up roughly a draw to this point.
MN: It would be a rout if Stevens had anyone else in that ring as a partner except for the guy he does have, hell if Pat Jones was on his team this thing would be done by now!
DT: The four men now slowly circling each other, everyone’s waiting for somebody else to make a move…REZIN SPITS BLACK MIST INTO STEVENS FACE! Stevens staggers and Anarky and Rezin now unloading with a double team on Impulse…Impulse doubled over with a knee by Anarky…REZIN WITH AN AXE KICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! REZIN WITH A COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!!
DT: Impulse rolls the shoulder off the mat and keeps his team in the match, Stevens catches Anarky with a shot to the back…Anarky grabbed by Stevens…THROWN INTO THE CAGE!
DM: Stevens and Anarky have both won King of the Cage, neither is a stranger to the cage being used as a weapon by them or against them!
MN: Well this is the way it should be, being used by Stevens on Anarky! Take it to him champ!
DT: Rezin drops an elbow on Impulse and another! Stevens over now and Rezin catches him with a strike to the throat! Rezin grabs Stevens and now he SENDS HIM INTO THE STEEL! NO! STEVENS WITH A BLOCK! STEVENS AGAIN BLOCKS!! REZIN INTO THE STEEL!! REZIN STAGGERS BACK!! SUDDEN IMPACT!! SUDDEN IMPACT BY IMPULSE!! HE COVERS!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR-NO!!
DT: ANARKY SAVES IT!! That was so close but Anarky got there at the last second to keep the match alive! Stevens over and he’s hammering Anarky with right hands…Anarky with a thumb to the eye and the Anti-Champion backs Stevens into a corner and drives a series of shoulders into the mid-section…Impulse over and gets caught by a back elbow…Anarky with a right to Stevens and now a shot to Impulse, and back to Stevens…Rezin now up…DECKS IMPULSE WITH A CLOTHESLINE!
DM: The tide in this match has turned big time in the favor of Anarky and Rezin, just when it looked like they were about to be beaten they’ve now rallied to have control of the match.
MN: Just shut up Dean, just stop talking! COME ON TRIP!
DT: Anarky now tying up Impulse in the ropes…Stevens stuck in a two on one now with Impulse trapped…Anarky has Stevens hooks, Rezin to the second rope…SPIKE PILEDRIVER!! STEVENS MIGHT HAVE HAD HIS NECK BROKEN!! THE COVER!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR-NO!!
DT: HOW DID HE KICK OUT?! Anarky glares in rage at Stevens and now he’s lacing right hands into the head of the former two time EPW World Champion…Rezin grabs impulse and frees him from the ropes…Impulse lifted and now placed on the top rope…Anarky and Rezin following him…Looks like a double superplex coming up…Impulse righting with forearms and chops, he’s trying to stop it…REZIN CROTCHED ON THE TOP ROPE! REZIN IN A WORLD OF HURT…Stevens over…HE’S GOT ANARKY ON HIS SHOULDERS!! ANARKY TRYING TO GET OFF OF STEVENS…IMPULSE AND STEVENS WITH A DOOMSDAY DEVICE ON ANARKY!! IMPULSE COVERS!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR-NO!!!
MN: Oh this ref is in the tank for Anarky and Rezin, that was a 10 count!
DT: Impulse was a split second away from winning the EPW TV Title there but Anarky wouldn’t give up just yet…These men have had just a brutal fight but we’re still going at it here in the main event of Aggression 71. Impulse slowly getting to his feet…Rezin caught with a knife edge chop…AND ANOTHER! Stevens over, Impulse and Stevens send Rezin into the ropes…DOUBLE DROPKICK!! COVER BY STEVENS!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
NO!!
DT: Rezin kicks out! Anarky pulling himself to his feet…Stevens over…ANARKY BACKDROPS STEVENS INTO THE CAGE! Impulse and Anarky now trading chops and punches…Anarky grabs Impulse…THROWS HIM INTO STEVENS!! THEY CLASHED HEADS!! ANARKY WITH A ROLL-UP!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR-NO!!
DT: Oh Impulse just BARELY got out of that! Impulse is bleeding from that clash of heads with Stevens, Anarky all over Impulse now and punching away at that cut with right hand after right hand. Stevens slowly getting up and Anarky kicks him in the head…Rezin back to his feet…Rezin’s climbing the cage now…Anarky sees him and he’s yelling at him to get down!
DM: This is the second match in a row where Stevens and Impulse have their opponents in a dispute over if they should escape the cage or not!
DT: Stevens and Impulse back to their feet as Anarky’s screaming at Rezin to stop climbing! Rezin’s up top…I guess maybe he is still the Escape Artist after all…WAIT!! REZIN OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE WITH A MOONSAULT!!! OH LORD HE JUST CRASHED DOWN ON STEVENS AND IMPULSE!! ANARKY DIVES ON TOP OF IMPULSE!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR-NO!!!
MN: Is that even possible?! How did he kick out! I guess some of Triple X rubbed off on the boy scout!
DT: Anarky is stunned by the kickout…He drags Impulse to his feet…I think it’s Chaos Breaker time! He’s got impulse hooked…STEVENS BREAKS IT UP WITH A RIGHT HAND! Stevens laying in right after right to Anarky who staggers…CLOTHESLINE BY STEVENS SENDS ANARKY TO THE APRON!
DM: Triple X with a rally after taking that brutal moonsault off the top of the cage, what will from Triple X!
MN: This is just another day at the office for Stevens, don’t get so excited over it, just marvel at greatness!
DT: Rezin catches Stevens with a clothesline to the back of the head! Rezin backs Stevens into a corner and now hammering away with right hands…Anarky getting to his feet…IMPULSE HITS HIM WITH A DROPKICK! OH MY GOODNESS THE CAGE DOOR JUST BROKE OPEN AND ANARKY JUST WENT FLYING TO THE FLOOR!!
MN: I thought we revoked Zane Corp’s contract on those doors, what the hell just happened!
DT: Anarky took a sickening spill to the outside, Impulse now to the apron he’s a bit shocked by what just happened, does he go for the escape also or try for the two on one on Rezin?! REZIN DROPKICKS IMPULSE OUT OF THE CAGE!
MN: Well that answered his question for him!
DT: Anarky and Impulse both sent flying from the cage and to the floor by the cage door giving way, Rezin back to his feet…If he escapes he wins…Rezin making his way to the apron…STEVENS KICKS THE ROPE AS REZIN HAS ONE LEG ON EITHER SIDE OF IT!
MN: That’s GOTTA hurt!
DT: Stevens grabs Rezin, he’s going for the X-Terminator! HE’S GOT HIM UP!!! REZIN OVER THE SHOULDER!! HE PUSHES STEVENS OFF!
DM: But he pushes him right towards the open door!
DT: Rezin sees that and he rushes after Stevens…RAN RIGHT INTO AN X-FACTOR!!!
MN: HE’S DEAD!! STEVENS KICKED HIS HEAD OFF!!
DT: TRIPLE X WITH THE COVER!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
[Bell rings. MUSIC UP: “The One” by Good Music ft. Marsha Ambrose, crowd going nuts.]
TF: Here are your winners…IMPULSE!!! AND TRIPLE XXXXX!!! SEAN!!! STEVENS!!!
DT: Stevens and Impulse have survived the Bracket of Death, they are going to the finals of King of the Cage, what a fight!
DM: They caught a bit of a break when that cage door broke like it did, who knows what would have happened if Anarky hadn’t been taken out in such a fluke manner.
MN: They would have still won because Sean Stevens is the greatest wrestler in the history of this business and don’t you forget it Dean!
DT: It’s only going to get bigger and better next week, 3 teams fighting for the King of the Cage Title, who’s going to walk away with it?! You gotta tune in next time, for Dean Matthews and Mike Neely, I’m Dave Thomas saying thanks for watching and good night!
[The camera stays on the ring as impulse manages to get back to his feet and walk back into the ring, Pat Jones raises Stevens and Impulse’s arms in the air as the crowd cheers and we FADE TO COPYRIGHT.]
DT: We're back and it's time for our main event...
MN: Why do I suddenly crave cookies, and want to go see some monkeys?
DM: You want to see monkeys because monkeys are awesome, but you crave cookies because you're a fat turd.
MN: Your mom craves cookies.
DM: Are you still talking?
MN: Shut up.
DT: Fascinating, guys... let's go up to the ring....
[Bell rings, crowd buzzing.]
TF: The following contest is the MAIN EVENT of the evening and it is a SEMI-FINAL match in the King of the Cage tournament! Also Anarky has put his EPW World Television ANTI-Championship on the line!
[MUSIC UP: “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie. The crowd gets LOUD with boos as Anarky and Rezin make their way to the ring. Rezin barefoot in his poorly fitting black pants, Anarky in his skull face paint, tattered shirt with the Anarchy logo, blue jeans and boots, the EPW TV Anti-Championship around his waist.]
TF: Making their way to the ring at a total combined weight of 444 pounds…The team of ANNNNNARKYYYYY!!! And REZZZZINNNNN!!!
DT: These two men want to tear down everything EPW stands for and tonight they face maybe the biggest legend in the history of this company and a man many see as a rising star who is in the hunt to become EPW World Champion…
MN: Stevens is big time, but I’m worried about him tonight, Impulse can’t hang with these two and once he goes down it’s going to be a two on one…As far as I’m concerned MJ2 had more backup going into his match with these maniacs than Stevens does tonight
[MUSIC UP: “The One” by GOOD MUSIC ft. Marsha Ambrose. The crowd pops big as the music fills the arena.]
"THE STORM IS ON THE HORIZON ... I'M STANDING HERE ALONE...."
[Marsha sang, as the EMPIRE-tron. …as several images flash starting with an up-close photo of a blue-eyed baby – crawling, playing football, and basketball … things that babies generally do.
"SEE, I'M A MOTHERFUCKING SOLDIER, AND I'MMA BE HERE 'TIL IT'S DONE."
CUT TO: Several more images. The first was an older Sean Stevens, in amateur wrestling gear; in a cap and gown – signifying graduation. The scene then shifted to Sean in the audience, in what looked to be a wrestling arena, before cutting to the final image of Sean, in the middle of a death defying leap from a forty-foot high camera tower, as his foe – below – laid unconscious.
"AND, WHEN THEY ASK YOU WHO I AM, SHIT, YOU JUST TELL 'EM THAT I'M ... THE ONE!"
CUT TO: The very last image. One of "Triple X" Sean Stevens in the center of the ring, being handed a crown, tired, sweaty, yet triumphant.
BOOOOOOOOM!
[Pyro goes off as the crowd gets LOUD as Stevens and Impulse come through the curtain, the two men at a fast walk as they head towards the ring. Impulse in a leather jacket, white tights and ring boots with the green green/heart beat logo, Stevens in his trademark black tights with blue X’s across the legs and seat. “Greatest EPW Superstar” T-Shirt on.]
TF: And their opponents, weighing in at a total combined weight of 431 pounds…IMPUUUUULLLLSSSEEE!!! And TRIPLE X!! SEANNNNN!!! STEVVVVVEEEENNNNSSS!!!!
DT: These two men went through a war last week with Cruise and The First and now it’s just getting harder fighting Anarky and Rezin.
DM: If anyone can handle what the Bracket of Death has thrown at them, it’s Impulse and Stevens, they have what it takes to make it to the finals even with the tough draw they have gotten.
MN: By saying they can handle it, you mean that they have Sean Stevens and he’s enough, I hope you’re right Dean, tonight’s going to be the biggest test of his career since Impulse will likely be running out of the cage and on a plane back to New York after five minutes fighting these two killers.
[Stevens and Impulse hit the cage, Pat Jones doing as best he can to keep the four men apart, Impulse hands his jacket to the ring girl as Stevens discards his shirt. The cage door locks and the bell rings!]
DT: All four men going right at each other and the FIGHT...IS…ON!! Anarky and Impulse, Stevens and Rezin are the pairs and all four men are throwing strikes as hard and as fast as they can! Impulse ducks under a right and now LACES INTO ANARKY WITH CHOPS! Anarky staggers…DROPKICK SENDS HIM DOWN! Meanwhile Stevens has backed Rezin into a corner and is just BLASTING him with right hands and the former Dopesmoker slumps to the mat!
MN: Oh there’s nothing former about his dopesmoking, he’s likely high as a kite in there!
DT: Stevens over to help Impulse, they get Anarky up to his feet and send him into the ropes…FLAPJACK BY STEVENS AND IMPULSE! STEVENS WITH A COVER!
ONE!!
TWO!!
NO!!
DM: You know it’s going to take a lot more than that to put down Anarky.
MN: Yeah, which is why they should ignore him and focus on Rezin, he’ll fold like Superman on laundry day!
DT: Impulse back to his feet…DROPKICK BY REZIN! Rezin came flying out of that corner and just dropped the Marathon Man with a foot to the face…Rezin and Stevens now trading punches…Anarky grabs Stevens by the legs and drags him down, Rezin now stomping away on the back of Stevens, Impulse over and he’s jumps on Rezin’s back and tries to sink in a sleeper! Anarky back to his feet, gouges Impulse in the eye and grabs him off of Rezin…THROWS IMPULSE FACE FIRST INTO THE CAGE!! IMPULSE STAGGERS…INTO THE CAGE AGAIN!
MN: Dammit! I knew this was going to happen, this stiff can’t carry Stevens shoes much less hold his weight in there, it’s going to be a long road to victory for Stevens.
DT: While Triple X’s number one fanboy laments the plight of his hero Stevens has Rezin…DROPS HIM THROAT FIRST ON THE TOP ROPE! Rezin falls to the mat and now Anarky and Stevens are circling in the middle of the ring.
DM: Stevens and Anarky are the only two previous world champions since Stevens won the belt who have not fought each other in a one on one match up, we’re going to get a taste of it right now!
DT: Stevens and Anarky trading shots…Stevens with a knee to the gut doubles over Anarky…SNAP SUPLEX BY TRIPLE X! STEVENS FLOATS OVER INTO A COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
DT: Anarky throws the shoulder off the mat at 2…Stevens grabs him and sends him into the ropes…POWERSLAM BY TRIPLE X AND A COVER!
ONE!
TWO!!
THR-NO!!
DT: REZIN BREAKS IT UP! Rezin now hammering away on Stevens…He backs Triple X into a corner and whips him to the other side…REZIN WITH A JUMPING CLOTHESLINE INTO THE CORNER!
MN: Dammit! It’s a two on one in there! This isn’t right!
DT: Stevens down on the mat, Rezin waiting for him to get back to his feet…Stevens staggers back up…DAMASCUS HEEL! REZIN TOOK HIS HEAD OFF!! A COVER BY REZIN!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR—NO!
DT: IMPULSE WITH THE SAVE! Impulse now has Rezin back on his feet and he’s hammering him with kicks to the stomach and LACING him with chops to the chest! Impulse now with a drop toe hold takes Rezin to the mat…IMPULSE LOCKS IN A HEEL HOOK!! REZIN SCREAMING IN PAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!
DM: The ropes won’t help him either! He’s got to escape the hold or this is over!
DT: Impulse ripping away at that foot of Rezin who is thrashing around on the mat trying his damnest to get free…Anarky back to his feet, Impulse sees him and breaks the hold…Stevens back up as Rezin now crawls towards Anarky and gets back to his feet…All four men standing in the ring now, we’re back to square one!
DM: We’ve had the opening salvos of this match and it’s ended up roughly a draw to this point.
MN: It would be a rout if Stevens had anyone else in that ring as a partner except for the guy he does have, hell if Pat Jones was on his team this thing would be done by now!
DT: The four men now slowly circling each other, everyone’s waiting for somebody else to make a move…REZIN SPITS BLACK MIST INTO STEVENS FACE! Stevens staggers and Anarky and Rezin now unloading with a double team on Impulse…Impulse doubled over with a knee by Anarky…REZIN WITH AN AXE KICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! REZIN WITH A COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!!
DT: Impulse rolls the shoulder off the mat and keeps his team in the match, Stevens catches Anarky with a shot to the back…Anarky grabbed by Stevens…THROWN INTO THE CAGE!
DM: Stevens and Anarky have both won King of the Cage, neither is a stranger to the cage being used as a weapon by them or against them!
MN: Well this is the way it should be, being used by Stevens on Anarky! Take it to him champ!
DT: Rezin drops an elbow on Impulse and another! Stevens over now and Rezin catches him with a strike to the throat! Rezin grabs Stevens and now he SENDS HIM INTO THE STEEL! NO! STEVENS WITH A BLOCK! STEVENS AGAIN BLOCKS!! REZIN INTO THE STEEL!! REZIN STAGGERS BACK!! SUDDEN IMPACT!! SUDDEN IMPACT BY IMPULSE!! HE COVERS!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR-NO!!
DT: ANARKY SAVES IT!! That was so close but Anarky got there at the last second to keep the match alive! Stevens over and he’s hammering Anarky with right hands…Anarky with a thumb to the eye and the Anti-Champion backs Stevens into a corner and drives a series of shoulders into the mid-section…Impulse over and gets caught by a back elbow…Anarky with a right to Stevens and now a shot to Impulse, and back to Stevens…Rezin now up…DECKS IMPULSE WITH A CLOTHESLINE!
DM: The tide in this match has turned big time in the favor of Anarky and Rezin, just when it looked like they were about to be beaten they’ve now rallied to have control of the match.
MN: Just shut up Dean, just stop talking! COME ON TRIP!
DT: Anarky now tying up Impulse in the ropes…Stevens stuck in a two on one now with Impulse trapped…Anarky has Stevens hooks, Rezin to the second rope…SPIKE PILEDRIVER!! STEVENS MIGHT HAVE HAD HIS NECK BROKEN!! THE COVER!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR-NO!!
DT: HOW DID HE KICK OUT?! Anarky glares in rage at Stevens and now he’s lacing right hands into the head of the former two time EPW World Champion…Rezin grabs impulse and frees him from the ropes…Impulse lifted and now placed on the top rope…Anarky and Rezin following him…Looks like a double superplex coming up…Impulse righting with forearms and chops, he’s trying to stop it…REZIN CROTCHED ON THE TOP ROPE! REZIN IN A WORLD OF HURT…Stevens over…HE’S GOT ANARKY ON HIS SHOULDERS!! ANARKY TRYING TO GET OFF OF STEVENS…IMPULSE AND STEVENS WITH A DOOMSDAY DEVICE ON ANARKY!! IMPULSE COVERS!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR-NO!!!
MN: Oh this ref is in the tank for Anarky and Rezin, that was a 10 count!
DT: Impulse was a split second away from winning the EPW TV Title there but Anarky wouldn’t give up just yet…These men have had just a brutal fight but we’re still going at it here in the main event of Aggression 71. Impulse slowly getting to his feet…Rezin caught with a knife edge chop…AND ANOTHER! Stevens over, Impulse and Stevens send Rezin into the ropes…DOUBLE DROPKICK!! COVER BY STEVENS!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
NO!!
DT: Rezin kicks out! Anarky pulling himself to his feet…Stevens over…ANARKY BACKDROPS STEVENS INTO THE CAGE! Impulse and Anarky now trading chops and punches…Anarky grabs Impulse…THROWS HIM INTO STEVENS!! THEY CLASHED HEADS!! ANARKY WITH A ROLL-UP!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR-NO!!
DT: Oh Impulse just BARELY got out of that! Impulse is bleeding from that clash of heads with Stevens, Anarky all over Impulse now and punching away at that cut with right hand after right hand. Stevens slowly getting up and Anarky kicks him in the head…Rezin back to his feet…Rezin’s climbing the cage now…Anarky sees him and he’s yelling at him to get down!
DM: This is the second match in a row where Stevens and Impulse have their opponents in a dispute over if they should escape the cage or not!
DT: Stevens and Impulse back to their feet as Anarky’s screaming at Rezin to stop climbing! Rezin’s up top…I guess maybe he is still the Escape Artist after all…WAIT!! REZIN OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE WITH A MOONSAULT!!! OH LORD HE JUST CRASHED DOWN ON STEVENS AND IMPULSE!! ANARKY DIVES ON TOP OF IMPULSE!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR-NO!!!
MN: Is that even possible?! How did he kick out! I guess some of Triple X rubbed off on the boy scout!
DT: Anarky is stunned by the kickout…He drags Impulse to his feet…I think it’s Chaos Breaker time! He’s got impulse hooked…STEVENS BREAKS IT UP WITH A RIGHT HAND! Stevens laying in right after right to Anarky who staggers…CLOTHESLINE BY STEVENS SENDS ANARKY TO THE APRON!
DM: Triple X with a rally after taking that brutal moonsault off the top of the cage, what will from Triple X!
MN: This is just another day at the office for Stevens, don’t get so excited over it, just marvel at greatness!
DT: Rezin catches Stevens with a clothesline to the back of the head! Rezin backs Stevens into a corner and now hammering away with right hands…Anarky getting to his feet…IMPULSE HITS HIM WITH A DROPKICK! OH MY GOODNESS THE CAGE DOOR JUST BROKE OPEN AND ANARKY JUST WENT FLYING TO THE FLOOR!!
MN: I thought we revoked Zane Corp’s contract on those doors, what the hell just happened!
DT: Anarky took a sickening spill to the outside, Impulse now to the apron he’s a bit shocked by what just happened, does he go for the escape also or try for the two on one on Rezin?! REZIN DROPKICKS IMPULSE OUT OF THE CAGE!
MN: Well that answered his question for him!
DT: Anarky and Impulse both sent flying from the cage and to the floor by the cage door giving way, Rezin back to his feet…If he escapes he wins…Rezin making his way to the apron…STEVENS KICKS THE ROPE AS REZIN HAS ONE LEG ON EITHER SIDE OF IT!
MN: That’s GOTTA hurt!
DT: Stevens grabs Rezin, he’s going for the X-Terminator! HE’S GOT HIM UP!!! REZIN OVER THE SHOULDER!! HE PUSHES STEVENS OFF!
DM: But he pushes him right towards the open door!
DT: Rezin sees that and he rushes after Stevens…RAN RIGHT INTO AN X-FACTOR!!!
MN: HE’S DEAD!! STEVENS KICKED HIS HEAD OFF!!
DT: TRIPLE X WITH THE COVER!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
[Bell rings. MUSIC UP: “The One” by Good Music ft. Marsha Ambrose, crowd going nuts.]
TF: Here are your winners…IMPULSE!!! AND TRIPLE XXXXX!!! SEAN!!! STEVENS!!!
DT: Stevens and Impulse have survived the Bracket of Death, they are going to the finals of King of the Cage, what a fight!
DM: They caught a bit of a break when that cage door broke like it did, who knows what would have happened if Anarky hadn’t been taken out in such a fluke manner.
MN: They would have still won because Sean Stevens is the greatest wrestler in the history of this business and don’t you forget it Dean!
DT: It’s only going to get bigger and better next week, 3 teams fighting for the King of the Cage Title, who’s going to walk away with it?! You gotta tune in next time, for Dean Matthews and Mike Neely, I’m Dave Thomas saying thanks for watching and good night!
[The camera stays on the ring as impulse manages to get back to his feet and walk back into the ring, Pat Jones raises Stevens and Impulse’s arms in the air as the crowd cheers and we FADE TO COPYRIGHT.]