(FADEIN: A man in a three piece suit steps up to a podium. The EPW flag waves in the background. This well dressed man adjusts his tie, clears his throat, and begins.)
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, it is agreat honor and privilege that I get to award the illustrious Procrastinator's award of 2012! And your nominees are!
(CUTTO: Video screens.)
MAN: Los Luchas Frescas!
(CUTTO: A still image of a can of fresca wearing a luchador mask.)
MAN: The Dreamstealers!
(CUTTO: Two men standing over a bed where a adolescent male sleeps. They are rapidly pawing at the air above his head.)
MAN: Paladin.
(CUTTO: A still image of just a QUESTION MARK.)
MAN: And Team VIAGRA!
(CUTTO: A bottle of viagra pills spilled on a desk.)
MAN: And your winner...
(CUTTO: The man behind the podium. He holds up an envelope and tears it open. After a moment of fiddling, he unveils the results, and smiles.)
(CUTTO: A four way split screen off the three images.)
MAN: TEAM VIAGRA! Come and get your award!
(CUTTO: The man at the podium, waiting a few moments as music plays. He continues to wait.)
MAN: Team Viagra? Are you there?
(CUTTO: THE ODESSA WRESTLING DUNGEON. Team Viagra rest on two different couches. Jack Harmen wears his NFW Superfly t-shirt and is tossing a tennis ball in the air. Tony Davis is playing Nintendo DS and wears his wrestling tights.
Tony looks up.)
TONY DAVIS: Hey, are we supposed to be somewhere?
(Harmen frowns. Shakes his head.)
JACK HARMEN: Nah. We're good.
TONY DAVIS: Phew!
(CUTTO: Back to the man behind the podium. He's sweating and very nervous.)
MAN: Alright, accepting the procrastinator's award for 2012, is this HOMELESS MAN!
(SFX: Music cues back up as a random homeless man steps onto stage. His clothes are stained and tattered. He's strung out on meth. He sees the gold trophy, rushes up, snatches it, and RUNS for the hills. FADEOUT.)