AGGRESSION 19: Indianapolis, IN - 8/13/05

[DBrunkGXW]

[CUE UP: "Imperial March" - Rage Against the Machine. A video montage plays, featuring smoke-wreathed images of various wrestlers, some of them leaving blurred trails as they move.
CUT TO: Beast nailing the Absolution on Adam Benjamin.

CUT TO: Karl Brown coming off the ropes with a Quebrada.

CUT TO: Christian Sands and Lindsay Troy standing victorious in the ring.

CUT TO: Troy Douglas standing victorious on a turnbuckle.

CUT TO: Adam Benjamin delivering a Shining Wizard to Karl Brown.

CUT TO: Golem cradling his claw, smirking.

CUT TO: Boogie Smallz lighting up a blunt.

CUT TO: Lindsay Troy dropkicking Christian Sands.

CUT TO: JA and Sebastian Dodd locking up in the middle of the ring.

CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting sedately in a chair, staring into the camera.

CUTTO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]



(Cut to the ramp, where a wreath of pyro explodes around the EmpireTron and several bomblike, smoky explosions ripple about the entry way. The camera zooms in on the screen as the pyro finally peters out, then blurs to roving shots of the roaring crowd as a small banner in the corner briefly appears to proclaim that EPW is broadcast en Espanol. Various signs are visible in the crowd: "Dis 5" with an arrow pointing down, "Savoy is still my phenom!!", "Dodd = Workrate", "Where's Karl Brown?", "JA Is The King!", "DIS FEARS CROSS!", "Unleash the BEAST!!", and finally, "Dan Ryan Ate My Pork Chops".)

(We cut to the broadcast booth where Dave Thomas, Mike Neely and Dean Matthews sit.)

DT: Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the beautiful RCA Dome in Indianapolis, Indiana and Empire Pro’s Aggression!!!

MN: Hell yes! I brought my circa 1943 basketball and before the night is over, I will have Jimmy Chitwood’s autograph right here!!

DM: You do know that was just a movie right?

MN: Did you see the way he led Hickory to the state championship? From a school that small? Their mascot was a baby duck for crying out loud! That’s talent!

DT: Moving right along…..tonight we see Blitz return to defend the tag team titles in a big eight man tag against practically the entire Television Title field, we’ll see Foxx take on Karla Starr as well as a huge main event, where we’ll see the team of Ken Cloverleaf and AJ Cirrus take on Steven Shane, Cross and EPW World Champion Lindsay Troy.



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(The Empire Tron flickers to life and we see the inside of Dan Ryan’s office. A few seconds later Paul Freeman steps in and sits down. Ryan stares at some paperwork on his desk, then glances at Paul with a raised eyebrow.)

Freeman: You uh…wanted to see me.

Ryan: Yeah Paul….(Ryan puts his pen down and sits back, giving Freemen his full attention.) As a matter of fact, I wanted to talk to you about your announcement last week. You know, the one about signing Hornet.

Freeman: Look, I meant to talk to you about that. The paperwork is all there. I covered all of my bases.

Ryan: All except I can’t get hold of the man or get any confirmation from his office in Greensboro. Seems he’s on the road right now doing some shows. Odd that he’d agree to be here during a tour.

Freeman: Look, I’ll find out what’s going on and make sure it’s all in order.

(Ryan’s eyes narrow)

Ryan: I don’t like this, Freeman.

Freeman: I’ll take care of it. I promise.

(Ryan sighs, annoyed.)

Ryan: Fine. But I want some sort of confirmation from Hornet’s people soon, or there’s gonna be trouble, Paul.

Freeman: Yes sir.

(Ryan motions to the door and Freeman stands up and exits. As he leaves, he mutters under his breath in a mocking tone “there’s gonna be trouble, Paul.” Ryan hears it but ignores it. A few moments later and his intercom buzzes.)

Ryan: Yes, Phyllis?

Phyllis: Sir, Marcus Westcott is here to see you.

Ryan: (annoyed) Fine, send him in.

(The door swings open and Beast steps in, fully confident, chest out and walks over to Ryan’s desk. Ryan looks up, not even pretending to tolerate the intrusion.)

Ryan: What….do you want?

Beast: I want my World Title shot.

(Ryan bursts to his feet in anger, surprising even Beast)

Ryan: YOU WANT YOUR….

(Ryan calms himself and sits back down, adjusting his collar.)

Ryan: You want your title shot, huh?

(Beast smirks)

Beast: Yeah, that’s what I want.

Ryan: You know what, no….no, **** it. You have five minutes to get to the ring.

Beast: (Taken aback) Excuse me?

(Ryan stands, intense and stares a hole in the former World Champion)

Ryan: The ring….five minutes.

(Ryan crosses around Beast and storms out of the ring as in the arena the crowd cheers this development. Beast stares after Ryan as the shot cuts back to ringside.)

DT: An interesting development folks as the boss doesn’t look one bit happy.

MN: Jimmy Chitwood won’t like this either.

DM: Mike for the last time, Jimmy Chitwood isn’t….

(The broadcast crew is interrupted by the deafening roar that comes as “Zero” by Smashing Pumpkins blares over the arena speakers.)

DT: And the boss is coming to the ring!!

(Ryan stalks to the ring and slides in underneath. He paces the ring in a circle and calls for a microphone.)

Ryan: Tick tock, tick tock Beastie….you have two minutes….NO….make that ten seconds…..

(The crowd starts to count down in unison – TEN…..NINE…..EIGHT….SEVEN…..SIX ….FIVE….FOUR….THREE…..TWO…..

And then, “Figured You Out” by Nickelback comes over the speakers as Beast steps out onto the stage – gives his fans a look and a nod and then starts his way to the ring. Beast looks at Ryan the whole way, but takes a few moments to slap a few hands – including a child nearby that has a “Beast of the East” t-shirt on. A few moments later the big man climbs into the ring and starts to walk toward Dan Ryan, who raises a hand and stops him)

Ryan: Hold on just a second. I’ve got a little something for you, Marcus. I’m sorry to say that you will not be getting your World Title shot any time soon.

(Beast frowns as the crowd boos.)

Ryan: Last week, you let yourself be embarrassed….HUMILIATED…by Adam Benjamin. Tell me, Marcus – how come I left the arena last week….(Ryan raises his voice and gets right in Beast’s face)….THINKING ADAM ****ING BENJAMIN HAD MORE BALLS THAN YOU DO?!?!

(The crowd boos again as the Beast seethes.)

Ryan: No, you don’t get a World Title shot Marcus. But yeah…you do have a match tonight. You do have a job to do. In fact…you’re gonna open the show….you’re gonna JERK THE ****ING CURTAIN.

(LOUD boos.)

Ryan: Tonight you face….in front of this live audience, the type of opponent that you will face from now until the end of your Empire Pro contract. You will face the first in a long line of the very finest…..MIDGET WRESTLERS IN THE WORLD.

(Beast’s eyes go big as Ryan still glares at him, eyes furious)

Ryan: Tonight you make the debut of your new midget wrestling career against……BEAST-LET!!!

(Suddenly some generic rock music comes up and a diminutive man comes out on the stage, dressed just like Beast except for a short puffy tail coming out of the back of his trunks and a small bag over his shoulder. As he comes down the ramp he looks into the crowd and yells “raahrr!!” “rahrrrrr!!”)

(Cut to a shot of Beast’s face, where he stands in disbelief and we can make out the words “No way, no ****ing way”)

Ryan: Good luck, Beast. It’s too bad. You coulda been a contenda….

(Ryan spikes the microphone as Beast-let climbs in playing to the crowd and holding out his “claws” toward Beast in threatening fashion.)

MN: OH MY GOD!! THAT IS CLASSIC!!! WHAT A GREAT IMPRESSION!!

DT: Are you kidding me?? He’s nothing like Beast!! Boy, I feel for this guy….

(Ryan gets to the floor and stands near the corner, hands folded over his chest. Beast for his part, simply stands in the ring dumbfounded.)

DT: This….this Beast-let guy is stalking the much much bigger Beast here….this is ridiculous…is Dan Ryan really expecting Beast to wrestle a match here??

DM: This is pure and utter humiliation, Dave…nothing more, nothing less.

DT: Beast-let now running the ropes and Beast is just standing there incredulous….Beast-let diving and….headbutt to the knee??

MN: What the hell??

DT: Beast-let grabbing his head and he’s….he’s going to that bag of his….what the heck is this….he’s….he’s pulling a….a steak from his bag???

DM: A stake?

DT: No, Dean-o….it’s a steak…a freakin’ prime rib!!

MN: Chitwood likes steak.

DT: And now he’s….he’s THROWING STEAKS AT BEAST!!!

(Beast-let throws several steaks at the big man as the crowd laughs along. Beast looks at the crowd and frowns, then looks back, visibly annoyed.)

DT: Beast getting very aggravated here….Beast-let back to the bag, pulling some sort of sign or something out…..OH MY GOD….

(A LOUD collective “OHHHH!” from the crowd as Beast-let holds a sign up with a doctored photo of Beast bent over in a maid’s dress and Adam Benjamin behind him in orgasmic glee.)

MN: Damn….even I can’t laugh at that one. Ouch.

(Beast looks at the picture as Beast-let hops around the ring showing it off to the crowd, who all laugh along. Suddenly Beast charges Beast-let and stomps him to the mat. Beast overpowers the small man very easily and pummels him in the corner.)

DT: And Beast has had enough!!

(Beast picks up Beast-let in one fell swoop and twists him over his head and spikes him down on his neck. Beast-let lies in the ring, twitching.)

DM: My God, he may have killed him!! What is Marcus Westcott thinking?? The man’s eighty pounds at most!!

(Beast slides out of the ring and goes to the Spanish announce table, clearing it with a swipe of his hand. He glares at Ryan and slides back into the ring, pulling Beast-let to his feet and hoisting him over his shoulder. Beast goes to the corner….)

DT: My God, what is he doing here?? Don’t do it, Beast!! NO!!!

(Beast gets to the tope and dives – shoulder first with Beast-let through the table and to the concrete below. Beast-let writhes on the concrete, his eyes going back in his head.)

DT: This is too much, dammit!! Too much!! Get someone out here!!

(Beast snatches up a chair and begins to drive it into the prone body of Beast-let. Beast lets up for a moment and looks down at the small man – and Beast-let uses his last energy to grab his little Beast-let tail and wave it in surrender, which further angers Beast, who drives the chair back down again and again and again.)

DM: He’s snapped!! He’s absolutely snapped!!!

DT: Medical personnel are FINALLY coming out here…it’s about damn time!!

(Beast stares down at Beast-let, eyes wide and chest heaving. He shoots a glare at Dan Ryan. “I guess I showed him”….except Dan Ryan was smiling….broadly.)

DM: And Dan Ryan is happy!!

MN: Of course he’s happy!! This is what he wanted all along!!

(Beast stares at Ryan, then turns back to Beast-let as the medics tend to him. Finally he just backs away, eyes still flashing and out of control….and walks back up the ramp, while a sound he wasn’t used to blared in his ears…..boos.)

DT: These people are letting Beast hear it, and rightfully so!! He had no reason to brutalize that poor man like that!!

(The camera catches a shot of Dan Ryan, a wide Cheshire cat grin on his face as we fade to a commercial for Empire Pro's Russian Roulette, now on DVD.)



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[DBrunkGXW]

The heels of her sandals rapped against the tiles in a disapproving fashion as Lindsay Troy breezed through the backstage area en-route to her private lockerroom. It was early still, not quite two hours from the start of the dark matches, and Troy knew she had plenty of time to suit-up, stretch out, and prepare for the night's festivities. She broke off a grape from the bunch in her hand, the product of a catering room raid, tossed it in the air and let it fall into her mouth while her hand reached for the door handle. Troy opened her lockerroom door and allowed it to carelessly slam behind her, then plucked another grape and tossed it in the air, unaware of the man sitting on the long leather sofa.

"Feasting on the fruits of your conquest already. Good girl."

The poor grape missed Lindsay's mouth completely and landed on the carpet. She stared at her visitor, offering him a smirk as she bent down, picked up the grape, brushed it off on her shirt and bit into it.

"Five second rule, right Christian?"

"Something like that," murmured the big man, reclining lightly on the couch. Yet it lasted only a moment as he rose from the seat and strode towards her, promptly pulling her into a brisk, chaste embrace.

"I'm proud of you, you know."

"A gal after your own heart, huh?" She warmly returned his hug. "I missed seeing your ugly Canadian mug around here, partner."

He soon released her, a small grin tugging at his lips. "I couldn't stay away," he admitted. "I had to come back and see the new champion in action."

"Watching it on TV doesn't have the same affect, huh." Troy grinned. "You look good. Time off was well spent, I see."

"Well spent," he agreed with a nod - and a grimace. "This time no jumping between EPW, WFW, and CSWA. I'm back home where people who deserve the titles get them..."

He gave Lindsay a light clap on the shoulder. "Right, Dis?"

"Been long overdue. I can't thank you enough for covering for me all that time. I appreciate it more than you know."

Christian heh'ed a bit, slowly raking one hand through his hair as he looked down a moment.

"No problem. Always happy to help you get ahead... and to pull one over on the Benjamins of the world. God knows you deserved it after all the **** that's been shoveled at you."

"Yeah, well...I got my retribution on Adam twice-fold," she said with a grin, recalling Benjamin's five-second Natural Selection Tournament elimination at her hands. "The moment was great, though. Wish you could have been backstage for it, but I can't get everything in life." She walked over to the couch, motioning him to follow before taking a seat herself. "And it would seem that you have your eyes set on Marcus once more."

He chuckled - "I saw the tape of the Benjamin thing at least. Heard it from Dan and couldn't help but take a look."

Settling onto the couch next to her, he draped one arm over the back on the opposite side from her. The mention of Marcus evokes a slow, thoughtful nod. "Dan's trying to get something out of him, but he's fighting it. I want to see where this goes... maybe Dan can make Marcus less of a wad and more of a man."

"I think Marcus is beyond hope, myself."

"I agree." His expression grew pensive, hand rising to his chin... "But I'm still interested. Marcus hasn't been worth my time since he fluked into beating me at Unleashed. I've grown enough since then that he couldn't pull that off again... but if Dan can make something out of him, then maybe he'd be worth fighting."

"In Dan we trust," Lindsay murmured, putting another grape in her mouth and chewing thoughtfully. "I can't be worried about what hormonal rage Marcus will go into next. I've got this tag match tonight against the Undesirables to concentrate on. Of course, I won't be opposed to you smacking him around for me."

"I think Dan's doing enough smacking," pointed out Christian with a chuckle. "For the moment I'm going to watch and see what Marcus does... see if he's got what it takes to be a man or just another chump champion who'll be forgotten in a year."

He then smiled, giving Lindsay's shoulder a little shake. "As opposed to the alternative. I don't think anyone's liable to forget how you fooled them."

She gave Christian a playful shove. "You say that like you think I'd let them forget. No, my well-kept secret en-route to the title and subsequent disclosure of it after the title was procured will be talked about for quite some time." She nodded her head, agreeing with herself. "One show at a time, though. Don't want to get too ahead of myself."

He laughed lightly, flopping back against the couch at the shove before straightening again. "Exactly... you've got all the momentum in the world behind you, Lindz. You don't need me to tell you how to keep it rolling."

"When in doubt, use a chair."

"Said Dan Ryan to Marcus Wescott."

"So how long are you going to just sit back and watch?" she inquired. "I know you want to get back into action sooner rather than later."

"At the latest until the Pay-Per-View," came the answer, cool but decisive. "Dan'll probably need me to show there to try and pop a better buyrate. Stack the card, I always say - between you up on top and me somewhere underneath, what can go wrong?"

"Hah!" The outburst was followed by a sly smirk. "I didn't take you for the type of guy to like being on the bottom."

A mischievous grin tugged at his lips as he gave her hair a little tousle. "If it's your bottom, I can make an exception."

A curly strand dangled in front of Lindsay's left eye, and with an adjustment of her lips she blew it away from her face. The smirk then promptly returned. "I knew there was more to tagging with me than just the shock value."

"Well, of COURSE!" The line was delivered with a toothy grin. "I was waiting for the chance to cop a feel off a blind tag, but it never came..."

A chuckle followed. "But seriously. Like I said - you did good, and that match at Russian Roulette was perfect. You've done that title proud."

"I'm glad you think so," Troy replied then turned her attention to a knock on the door followed by a techie poking his head into the room.

"Ms. Troy, Mr. Ryan wants to talk to you in his office about tonight's on-air order."

"Thanks Corey, tell him I'll be right there."

"I will. Good to see you back, Mr. Sands." With a nod, Corey dismissed himself and shut the door again.

Christian acknowledged the lackey with only a small nod. Back to Lindsay his gaze wandered, and he nodded. "Best get going... You know how Dan gets."

Again he clapped her on the shoulder. "Good luck out there tonight. Kick their asses."

"Always do, Christian," she said as she stood up. "Always do."

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Jack Owyns vs. Tariq Ismail

(Cut to the ring, where Tony Fatora stands) TONY FATORA: Th' following contest is scheduled for one fall!

(CUE UP: "Sunny Day" - Zug Island. The fans applaud politely as Jack Owyns pushes his way through the curtain and darts down the ramp, sliding into the ring and playing to the crowd to build head.)

TONY FATORA: Introducing first... He hails from Seattle, Washington... He weighs in at two hundred and thirty-seven pounds... He isssss JAAAAAAAACK... OOOOOOWYYYYYYNNNNSSSSS!!!

DT: Folks, this match will give us a glimpse of two very promising young stallions new to Empire Pro Wrestling. Jack Owyns has made a name for himself on the independent circuit and certainly brings the pro experience edge to this match.

DM: This guy's got a big head, I think. He talks a big game, and did you see what he said to his opponent?

MN: what'd he say?

DM: He says to him, 'Someone like YOU can never beat me-'

(The arena goes dark.)

DM: -Whoa!

(Cue up: "God Is God" - Juno Reactor, faint at first, accompanied by a distant image of a dark-smoking village. The volume slowly rises as the chant ends, breaking into a thunderous explosion of pyro as the main riff of the track thuds through the arena. With an Iraqi flag draped over his shoulders, Tariq Ismail strides slowly through the curtain, posing with arms wide and a corner of the flag in each hand to hold it open behind him, oblivious to the heat the maneuver draws. Then wrapping the flag about himself again, he stalks to the ring and vaults in, neatly folding it and handing it to the timekeeper.)

TONY FATORA: And his opponent! He hails from Mosul, Iraq! He weighs in at two hundred and forty pounds! Thisssss isssss TAAA-RRRRRIIIIIIQ... IIIIIIS-MAAAAIIILLLLLLL!!!!

DM: -But yeah. That comment by Owyns was totally racist against Arabs, and this Ismail guy looks pissed already.

MN: Uh, Dean, I think you're reading too deeply into it-

DT: Regardless of your sympathies you have to admit that Tariq Ismail looks focused and intense here tonight. His amateur resume is impressive, but can he overcome the experience edge of Jack Owyns here tonight?

DM: He'll beat the bigotry out of 'em!

(SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.)

DT: Owyns and Ismail circling to begin... Looking for openings... wait a minute, Owyns stepping back and waving his hand dismissively at Ismail!

DM: BOO! Kick his ass, Tariq!

MN: Man, this kid's cocky! He really does think Tariq can't beat him!

DT: Owyns grinning as he starts to circle again - ISMAIL JUST SLAPS HIM IN THE FACE AND KNOCKS HIM DOWN!

MN: That was a slap?!

DM: That's a MAN'S slap! Caught him right on the point of the chin and took him DOWN! This guyis NOT going to take Owyns' sh*BEEP* lying down!

MN: Whoof, you're telling ME!

DT: You can see the anger in Owyns' face as he gets up again... throws a punch but Ismail blocks it! Jab to the gut by Ismail, and a rising elbow to the chin knocks Owyns into the ropes! Whip, and there's the BOOT TO THE TEETH by the man from Mosul to take Owyns down!

DM: Ismail's supposedly a master of mat technique, but what we're seeing here is much more brutal, more like a cage fighter than an amateur wrestler.

DT: Owyns beginning to rise - Oh, Ismail just RUSHES him and hooks him in a big neckbreaker, taking him down! Now Ismail bringing him to his feet again - pushes into the corner and just hammers him with right and left jabs!

MN: Whoa, he's just OWNING Owyns!

DM: Look at how efficiently he's going at it. This guy has the precision of a machine, Dave Thomas, and right now he's dismantling Jack Owyns' upper body and neck.

DT: Ismail with the big jabs - oh, Owyns rakes the eyes to escape! Ismail stumbling backwards now, and Owyns comes out of the corner with the clothesline!

DM: Cheap! CHEAP!

DT: As Ismail comes to his feet Owyns runs to the ropes... comes back with the spinning heel kick and takes the bigger man down! Now Ismail rolling to his feet... Owyns with the Russian leg sweep takes him off his feet!

DM: I think we're seeing the experience of Owyns coming into play here. That cheap shot gave him an opening and he's keeping the pressure on, trying to keep Ismail off his feet.

MN: That was a nice legsweep, too.

DT: Looks like Owyns is keeping the pressure on here... waiting a moment for Ismail, then springs to the top turnbuckle - MISSILE DROPKICK BUT ISMAIL CATCHES HIM AND POWERSLAMS HIM DOWN! MY GOD what a counter!

MN: OW!

DT: Holding his back, Owyns pulls himself up with the help of the ropes, but Ismail doesn't let him get away! Stiff elbow to the head, then hooks him up - OH, there's the big Northern Lights suplex, held for the pin! One - TWO - No, Owyns kicks out!

DM: That was a close kickout - and a VERY textbook suplex.

DT: After only a second's waiting Ismail hits the ropes... as Owyns comes to his feet Ismail NAILS him in the face with a knee lift and fells him like a tree! Now pulls him up again - SNAP suplex! And there's another snap suplex, and Jack Owyns is in a mess of trouble here!

MN: Ismail looks pretty PISSED. He's just screaming at Owyns to get up!

DM: He wants to PUNISH the kid!

DT: As Ismail shouts at Owyns the nbW star gets to his feet, wobbling... Ismail up behind him, and whooooOOOOAA HUGE back suplex drops Owyns RIGHT on his neck!

DM: OUCH! Owyns is just getting dismantled by Tariq Ismail here!

DT: Cradling Owyns' head, Ismail pulls him to his feet... then snaps him into the ropes, and catches him with the DDT to drill Owyns' skull into the mat! Keeps the facelock on and wraps his legs around Owyns in a grapevine front facelock!

MN: Man, he's got him trapped!

DM: This hold's going to be hell on Owyns' head, and see how Ismail's kind of off to one side so he's trapping Owyns' arm on that side between himself and Owyns' own body. The only problem is that Owyns could use his other arm and his legs to push towards the ropes. See, like he's trying to do right now.

DT: You can hear Owyns groaning in pain as he tries to struggle towards the ropes... but Tariq releases the hold and YANKS HIM INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING BY THE HAIR, then flips him onto his back and... locks his legs around his head! What the hell sort of hold is THAT?

DM: That's a figure four necklock, Dave Thomas! Ismail's got Owyns on his back to cut off his movement and is using this hold to tear at his neck and cut off the flow of blood to his head! It could be over!

MN: Crush his head! Crush it crush it!

DT: Owyns fighting it... looks like he's fading fast! The referee lifts Owyns' arm now, but Owyns says no! But he's fading fast... Official lifts the arm, and no response!

DM: That's one!

DT: The official lifts that arm again... it's down twice, and Ismail is just laughing!

MN: One more!

DT: Again the arm... falls - NO, OWYNS GETS THE ARM UP!

DM: I THOUGHT HE WAS DONE-

DT: -OH, Ismail releases the hold and SMASHES Owyns in the face with the edge of his boot!

DM: That's direct enough.

DT: Now Ismail yanking Owyns to his feet... Owyns with a burst of vigor throws a few punches and stuns the bigger man!

MN: Looks like he's getting back into this...

DT: Owyns to the ropes... going for a clothesline but Ismail DUCKS it! Owyns rebounds off the opposite ropes, but Ismail SPEARS him halfway there and slugs him in the face repeatedly, and Jack Owyns is BLEEDING from a cut under the right eye!

DM: MAN, he hit him THAT hard?!

DT: Looking out to the crowd, Ismail pulls Owyns up and wings him into the ropes... Owyns DUCKS in desperation, comes back with a CLOTHESLINE, but Ismail ducks, Owyns comes back, Ismail CATCHES HIM WITH A JUMPING SNAP FISHERMAN'S DDT AND OWYNS MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD!!!

DM: HE CALLS THAT THE JIHAD!!! IT'S OVER!!!

DT: ISMAIL ROLLS OVER FOR THE PIN!

ONE -

TWO -

THREE!

(SFX: *DINGDINGDINGDING*)

TONY FATORA: Here is your winnerrr... TA-RIIIIIIQ... IIIIIS-MAAAAIIIILLLLLL!!!

DM: And welcome to EPW, Jack Owyns…..



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(CUE UP: "Dark Machine" - Paul Oakenfold. The crowd begins to boo uproariously as the lights dim, hiding Ismail and Owyns’ exits and also signaling to all just who's on his way to the ring. And indeed, as the mist begins to drift across the ramp, Christian Sands pushes the curtain aside and emerges to even louder derision from the crowd. The big man, draped in a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey, faded jeans, and a pair of brown hiking boots, pauses at the head of the ramp and smirks a bit before striding briskly towards the ring. He already carries a mic.)

DT: And now here comes Christian Sands, mic in hand, as it seems he's got something to say!

DM: I'll tell you, Dave Thomas. I was surprised to see this guy back as quickly as he was. Here I thought Sands was gonna be on hiatus for some time!

MN: Man, did you see how he got in Big Loafy's face last time?! I hope he kicks that guy's ass!

DT: It does seem like Sands has his eyes set on Beast. With Lindsay Troy holding the World Heavyweight Championship, could Sands be looking to ease back into the singles competition in which he made his fame?

MN: I hope so! Maybe he'll even take the strap back!

DT: Either way, it should be interesting to hear what he has to say...

(The music fades out as Sands stops in the center of the ring, facing the hard camera. He looks out at the crowd quietly before lifting his microphone.)

SANDS: There's been a lot of talk flying around regarding the sabbatical I went on after Russian Roulette. Let me set the record straight right now. Until Black Dawn, my name is not on the active Empire Pro Wrestling roster and I won't be competing in the ring, so you people will have to look to Lindsay Troy for your technical masterpieces for the time being. And you'd damn well better show her the respect she deserves. I knew all along that it was Lindsay behind the Dis mask and I encouraged her to keep at it, because we both knew that wrestling fans are misogynists and wouldn't accept a woman as champion unless she proved herself. Surprised, assholes? I was in on it from the beginning and now that Troy's holding the title I made famous I've got her back all the way through.

(He pauses to let the crowd boo, then continues.)

SANDS: Now as to why I came back. It just so happened that after Russian Roulette I went up to my cottage up north to relax, but I couldn't resist. I tuned in to Aggression and what did I see but Beast *****ing and moaning until Dan finally gave in and let him have another lease on life. So I made a few calls and here I am.

Here's something to think about, Wescott. The only reason you're worth anything in this company is because I dragged you into stardom by the balls. Until you ran into me you were just some guy from A1E with shaggy blond hair and an entrance theme about blowjobs, but that changed pretty damn quick. I dragged you kicking and screaming to two of the best matches this federation has ever seen and when you came out of it you were finally someone worth looking at.

But you've still never made it to my level.

Dan's given you the chance to take back what you percieve as yours, but what about me? I was the man who made the Empire Pro Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship into a belt that actually meant something. If anyone deserves another chance to go after that title it's me, the man who built this federation through his own blood, sweat, and tears.

You're good, Marcus, but you're never going to be as good as me - and you, I, and Dan all know why.

You don't have what it takes to go to any lengths necessary to WIN.

You got lucky against me at Unleashed, but from what I can see your luck's starting to run out. You've continually failed to secure victory when the tools to do so have been handed to you on a silver platter, and it doesn't look to me like that's going to change any time soon. The truth is you aren't man enough to develop that killer instinct, that do or die attitude that makes a champion into a legend - and by extension you aren't good enough to make use of the second chance that Dan pitched at you.

I have a challenge for you, Marcus.

I WANT you to prove me wrong. I didn't go through all the trouble of making you a star just to watch you piss it all away. You're supposed to be Beast, not Adam Benjamin.

I'm going to be watching you very closely, Marcus. If I have the inclination I might just decide to test you a little... see how well you've taken Dan's advice to heart. If at all.

Good luck, tiger...

("Dark Machine" kicks in again as Sands tosses the mic away, departing the ring with a smirk.)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

[DBrunkGXW]

EPW World Tag-Team Championship
Tag Team Mania
Blitz (c) vs. Priest/Damian Stone vs. Steve Savoy/X-Ecutioner vs. "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin/"The Dog of War" Jason Payne

DT: The next match looks set to be a great one, with all six competitors in the TV title hunt paired up with a shot against the tag team champions, Blitz. Dan Ryan’s sent two ref’s out for what promises to be an explosive match. Let’s go to Tony Fatora for the introductions. TONY FATORA: The following is a special Elimination match with no time limit, and it is for the World Tag Team Championship!!

(The lights cut out in the arena. CUE UP: "I Am The Bullgod" by Kid Rock. The lights flicker as the hulking figure of Eisenkreuz stands on the stage. From behind him comes Priest, swaggering, exuding confidence as the two men walk to the ring. Priest slides in quickly under the bottom rope, leaping onto a corner, making himself the centre of attention as his German bodyguard moves over to one of the far corners, standing arms folded.

CUE UP: "King Nothing" by Metallica. As the heavy guitar and drum beat kicks in, Echo approaches the centre of the stage. As she does, she throws her arms out in a crucifix pose as the lights go straight to black. Red laser lights begin to dance around the arena as we see video of Damian Stone kicking tail and taking names in all sorts of demonic and normal matches. As the main beat suddenly kicks in, pyro explodes and red lights engulf the arena as, now behind Echo, we see Damian Stone, his arms out in a crucifix pose. Damian looks around the arena as the crowd cheers him on. Echo first begins to walk down the isle as Damian stands on the stage. After a few seconds, Damian walks down the isle, slapping hands with the fans along the way before both Damian and Echo slide into the ring. Echo walks to the centre of the ring as Damian slowly gets to his feet. Echo holds her arms out in the crucifix pose again as Damian walks up behind her, throwing his right hand in the air as pyro explodes once again, this time from the ring. The couple turn to one another and kiss. Then Echo slides out of the ring while Damian walks over to where his partner stands waiting. The two men talk, but it’s clear there’s a little tension)

TONY FATORA: Introducing first, accompanied by their managers, Eisenkreuz and Echo, they weigh in at a combined weight of five hundred and ninety three pounds… the team of PRIEST and DAMIEN…STONE!!

DT: They certainly know how to make an entrance, but you’ve got to wonder if they, or any of these teams, are on the same page.

DM: This is a strange situation – the chance to win the tag team titles on the eve of the TV title tournament, but these people are all professionals.

(CUE UP: "Lose Yourself" by Eminem. "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin makes his way slowly to the ring. Adam is wearing two English flag bandana's one that cover his head and the other that covers the lower part of his face revealing only his stone cold eyes. Adam makes his way into the ring and stands firm in his corner waiting for his partner, his cold eyes locked on Stone and Priest.

CUE UP: "Dogs of War" by Pink Floyd. Payne marches to the ring, not noticing the fans as they hold out their hands to him. He climbs the steps, walks through the ropes, turns once to salute the fans, then walks over to Benjamin to discuss strategy)

TONY FATORA: At a total combined weight of five hundred and twenty pounds, the team of "Yours Truly" ADAM BENJAMIN and "The Dog of War" JASON…PAYNE!!!

MN: They’re not gonna win. Boring entrance.

DT: Adam Benjamin’s a former number one contender to the Worlds Title, and the first ever intercontinental champion. As much as I don’t like the guy for what he did last week, I wouldn’t put it past him winning this match, even with his entrance.

DM: The interesting point is that Benjamin and Payne have wrestled before in EPW, with Payne coming out on top. Is that going to come into play tonight? We’ll find out.

(CUE UP: "Step Up" by Drowning Pool. X-Ecutioner steps through the curtain to a mixed reaction as some pyro goes of either side of him. He walks quickly to the ring, pausing on the outside for a few moments to watch the four men already gathered before him. Rolling his shoulders, he grabs the top rope, pulling himself to the apron, and stepping over the top strand before moving to the spare corner.

CUE UP: "Watching the Wheels" by John Lennon. Steve Savoy sprints to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope, and poses in the centre of the ring. He turns to his partner, and starts to make his way to the corner)

TONY FATORA: Weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and eleven pounds, X-ECUTIONER and his partner, STEVE…SAV…

(Just then, Savoy launches himself across the ring, crashing into Payne and Benjamin in the nearest corner to himself. Heavy punches are thrown as he tries to take down both men. His partner rushes over to help fight off the former military man and the Brit, which in turn brings Priest and Stone over, as a large brawl ensues)

DM: We’ve got a pier-six brawl going on before the opening bell!! With so much on the line, a chance to scout your opponents for the TV title, I guess this was to be expected.

DT: But Blitz haven’t even made it to the ring yet! The tag champs are still in the back.

MN: And you know Leonard’s laughing his head off right now.

DM: This is a good break for Blitz, as these six are taking it to each other hard. The referees are trying to separate them, but it’s going to take a lot to manage it.

("Links-2-3-4" by Rammstein starts to blare over the speakers. As the music kicks in, some pyro explodes from the frame of the Empiretron. Max and Jecht sprint to the ring as the lights come up fully, the tag title belts being dropped behind on the ramp. They slide into the ring, getting straight into the middle of the action. Max catches Stone and X-Ecutioner, renewing their rivalry from last Aggression, by surprise near the ropes with a double clothesline, sending them both over the top to the outside. Benjamin and Payne, meanwhile, are double-teaming Savoy, as Jecht delivers some stiff shots to the head of Priest)

DT: The champs straight into the thick of things now, and they’re cleaning house!!

DM: Not the smartest strategy, but it might get some order in there. Jecht with an Irish Whip, and a big boot by Max to Priest!!

(Priest rolls to the outside, as we see Leonard Johnson walk past carrying the tag team title belts. He makes a slight signal to his charges, who both leave the ring, leaving Savoy to the mercy of Benjamin and Payne.)

DM: Smart move by Leonard, getting Blitz out of there. Being an elimination match, the tag champs are going to want to preserve their strength to retain the titles.

DT: I’m sure Savoy wishes he could get someone else in there with him, though. Irish whip there by Benjamin.

(On the rebound, Payne and Benjamin look for a double-clothesline, but Savoy ducks under. Running the other ropes, he comes back with a double flying clothesline, taking down both men. Senior referee Pat Jones forces Benjamin to his corner as Bryan Weatherby forces Damien Stone and X-Ecutioner apart on the outside. Back inside, Savoy scores a hip toss, followed by a knee to the back of Payne’s head. Lifting Payne by the back of the head, Savoy connects with a hard chop, before tagging in Priest, who comes over the top rope with a dropkick)

DT: Tag there, and now Priest’s in, connecting with some hard kicks to the ribs there.

DM: Even though this is for the tag-team championship, these people are going to have in the back of their minds the TV title, and a lot of the moves are likely to be used to try and weaken the other men before that match.

DT: You’ve got to think Blitz have the best shot here, as none of the other six men are going to want to injure themselves.

MN: You mean loud-mouth Lenny’s gonna still gloat? Great.

DM: You still haven’t forgotten him switching you two off have you?

(Priest takes Payne down with a Mexican arm drag, followed by a kick to the gut and a snap-suplex, floating over for the cover… but he only manages a two. Unperturbed, he whips him into the corner of the tag team champions, charging in with a splash)

DT: Priest reaching for the tag, but Blitz stepped back!!

DM: Like I said, they’re not going to want to exert themselves when they don’t have to.

(Priest takes a few moments to shout at the tag-champs, giving Jason Payne enough time to connect with a hard right to the ribs, followed by a forearm uppercut. Priest staggers back, and is taken down by a running back-elbow from Payne. As Priest gets to his feet, he’s met with a sidewalk slam. Rather than go for the cover, Payne makes a tag to his partner. Payne then puts Priest in an abdominal stretch, allowing Benjamin to come off the top rope with an elbow to the ribs. Benjamin follows that up with a backbreaker) DT: There’s the cover. One…

TWO…

Kickout at two there by Priest. Benjamin now with an armbar, and look how he’s placed the knee in the ribs of Priest there!!

DM: A very good move there. Not only does that knee to the ribs prevent Priest’s body from lifting up the mat, applying more pressure to the shoulder, it also continues the punishment from the sidewalk slam, that elbow, and the backbreaker.

MN: Big Daddy English said he wanted to hurt people, and from the look on Priest’s face, THAT hurts.

(Holding onto the wrist of his opponent, Benjamin stands, dropping down and planting the knee repeatedly into the ribs, before cinching in the armbar again. Priest tries to push Benjamin’s knee away, but that only causes the Englishman to tighten the hold. Finally, sensing his foe won’t submit, Benjamin releases the hold, dropping an elbow onto the ribs, and going for the cover, but the match is still too young and he only manages a two count. Picking up Priest by the hair, he throws him into the corner of X-Ecutioner and Savoy, slapping the larger man as the ref signals the tag is made. Stoically, X-Ecutioner enters the ring, his eyes locked on Benjamin, before turning and planting a right into the ribs of Priest. Pressing the advantage, he whips him into the opposite corner, scoring with a back body drop on the rebound)

DT: I bet Priest wishes he hadn’t insulted Damien Stone during the week.

MN: Hey, calling him a roid monkey isn’t an insult. It’s the truth.

DM: The truth here is that Priest’s in a lot of trouble, and if his partner doesn’t come in soon it could be all over.

MN: Yeah, well… he wouldn’t be in this mess if one of Blitz had tagged in earlier.

(Stalking his prey, X-Ecutioner waits for Priest to groggily stand, before applying a bearhug in the centre of the ring. Throwing Priest around like a rag-doll, he doesn’t notice Damien Stone come through the ropes, charging at X-Ecutioner with a forearm shot to the kidneys. The man from Death Valley drops Priest, turning into a forearm to the jaw from Stone, who whips X-Ecutioner off the ropes and takes him down with a shoulder tackle. Referee Pat Jones forces Stone out of the ring, but the assistance was all Priest needed to get the tag to Max, who comes in and takes X-Ecutioner down with a big boot to the face. Lifting the smaller man up, Max slams him down hard, before planting two hard stomps, and tagging Stone in)

DT: Quick in, quick out there by one half of the tag team champions.

DM: Of course.

MN: Coward.

DT: Why do I get the feeling you wouldn’t say that to their faces?

MN: Of course I would!!

DM: Yeah, right. Back in the ring, Stone’s sizing up X-Ecutioner, and a nice swinging neck breaker there. Only a two count off the cover though.

(Looking to press the advantage, Stone lands a clubbing arm to the back of X-Ecutioner. He lifts him up, chopping him across the chest and backing him into the ropes, before whipping him off and connecting with a HUGE powerslam. Rather than covering, he picks up his foe again, lifting him onto his shoulder, and running full force into a corner. He scores with a hard right hand, then whips him across the ring again)

DT: BIG miss there by Stone, hitting the corner as he charged in. X-Ecutioner with a kick to the gut in the corner, and a hard left jab to the face!!

DM: X-Ecutioner has unfinished business from last week, so it’s little surprise he’s not tagging out before he gets some shots in. Smart decision though to tag in Payne.

(The Dog of War takes over where X-Ecutioner left off, taking Stone down with a Russian leg-sweep before applying a Camel Clutch. Stone quickly tries to make it to the ropes, but Stone jumps up, sitting down full force on the small of the larger mans back. Stone reaches for the ropes again, and this time, he finds them, forcing the break, but Payne leaps up, landing an elbow to the back. Payne drags Stone across the ring, applying a leg-lock and tagging in his partner. Benjamin drops a knee on the back of Stone, before placing his foot on the back of Stone’s left knee. Grabbing the foot, he leans back, applying pressure to the knee and quadriceps.)

DT: Vicious maneuveur by Benjamin here.

DM: This is a painful hold on anyone, but against someone the size of Stone, it can be devastating. Take away a big-mans legs, and his strength isn’t much of a factor anymore.

(Benjamin releases the hold, floating over into a headlock. Stone manages to fight to his feet, but Benjamin scores with a palm-strike to the face, followed by a thumb to the eye. He twists Stone’s arm, delivering a vicious sounding chop to the chest, before whipping the larger man to the corner. He charges in with a dropkick to the knee, before tagging in Steve Savoy, who immediately goes to work, scoring a discuss punch and applying a hammerlock on the larger man. Savoy drives the point of his knee into Stone’s elbow and shoulder, but Stone starts to fight his way out of the hold, rolling onto his back and forcing Savoy to break the hold. Savoy comes off the ropes, looking for a dropkick to the face, but Stone moves out of the way, before driving an elbow full force into Savoy’s sternum.)

DT: Savoy looking in trouble now, as Stone’s starting to mount some offence, applying a rear chinlock on the canvas now.

DM: A lot of people call this a rest hold, and Stone’s using it as such, trying to shake the cobwebs from his head and give his body a few moments rest from the work Payne and Benjamin did a few moments ago. He drops Savoy to the mat, going for the cover.

DT: One…

TWO…

Kickout. Stone right back on the offence, picking up Savoy. Hard scoop slam, followed by a stomp.

(Stone runs the ropes, looking for a legdrop, but Savoy moves out of the way at the last minute. Savoy waits for Stone to get to his feet, kicking him twice in the hamstring, before whipping him off the rope and catching him on the rebound with a sleeperhold, jumping onto Stone’s back. Stone struggles for a few moments, trying to prise the former Phenom from his back)

DT: Stone in real trouble here, as he can’t shake Savoy!!

MN: Savoy pancakes anyone?

DM: That’ll do it. The bigger they are, the more they squash you like that.

(Holding his back, Stone picks up Savoy, whipping him to the ropes. He scores with a sidewalk slam, and goes for the cover)

DT: X-Ecutioner in the ring now!! What’s he doing in there?

DM: By the looks of it, stomping hard on Stone’s back.

DT: But Savoy’s legal, not X-Ecutioner! Stone swinging at X-Ecutioner, but the smaller man ducks under. Hooking the arms…END OF DAYS!!! That vertibreaker finisher connects!!

One…

TWO…

THREE!!! STONE AND PRIEST ARE OUT OF HERE!!

TONY FATORA: Damien Stone and Priest have been eliminated!!

MN: What in the hell… he wasn’t even legal!

DT: Let’s go to a replay and keep an eye on this action as Jecht comes in with a hard clothesline taking X-Ecutioner down!!

(SPLIT SCREEN!! We see Damien Stone whip Savoy off the ropes in slow-motion. As Savoy reaches the ropes, X-Ecutioner reaches from the corner, slapping his partner on the back, a move that referee Bryan Weatherby signals to his colleague in the ring. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Jecht takes X-Ecutioner down with a scoop slam, getting a two count. He then moves over, tagging in Adam Benjamin, holding X-Ecutioner in a full-nelson as Benjamin scores with a kick to the gut, followed by a DDT. Benjamin presses his advantage, applying a bodyscissors, slapping his leg periodically to intensify the pressure. Realising he isn’t going to get the submission, he releases the hold, stomping on X-Ecutioner’s ribs, before tagging in Jason Payne. They score a double suplex, and Benjamin picks X-Ecutioner up, holding him from behind as he shouts at Payne to run the ropes.)

DT: Big double-team there, as Payne comes in with a running knee-lift. Payne now on the offence, stunning the big man with a punch to the gut, and a rocker-dropper for the quick two count.

MN: The champs ain’t acting all that tough, are they? They’ve hardly been in the match yet.

DM: That’s called STRAT-E-GY, Mike.

MN: I stand by calling them cowards!

DT: Regardless, it’s been a smart move on the part of the tag champs, and Payne’s got X-Ecutioner in trouble in the corner. Setting him up on the top rope.. maybe a suplex… NO!! X-Ecutioner with a push sends Payne crashing to the canvas, and takes him down with a flying shoulder tackle!! X-Ecutioner now with the tag to Jecht, and the largest man still in the match comes in with a big-boot, followed by the sidewalk slam. Cover…

TWO…

THNO!! Jason Payne just gets the shoulder up in time there, and Jecht with a punch to the back of the head as Payne tried to get to his feet!!

(Jecht picks up his opponent, hooking Payne’s arms behind his back, and connects with a tiger-suplex. Rather than going for the cover, he picks him up again, lifting him over his shoulder, before dropping him unceremoniously across the top rope. Pat Jones admonishes him for the tactic, but Jecht’s on the offensive again, whipping Payne off the rope and applying an abdominal stretch in the centre of the ring. Pat Jones asks Payne if he wants to give it up, but Payne shakes his head. Jecht lifts Payne up in an abdominal stretch position, but Payne fights out of it, landing on his feet, and giving Jecht a thumb to the eye, before running the ropes and taking the big man down with a flying forearm.)

DT: Jason Payne quickly makes the tag there to Benjamin, and Benjamin comes in with a neckbreaker on the three hundred forty plus pounder.

DM: He’s going to want to keep Jecht grounded. Blitz have kept themselves on the outside, so they’re more rested than the rest of these guys – Benjamin knows that, and he’s going to look to put a hurt on one or other of them to make sure he can walk out of here one half of the tag team champions.

(Benjamin scores with a stiff kick to the head of the Los Angeles native, then slides to the outside, holding Jecht’s left leg, and slamming it down on the apron. He repeats this, then backs off confidently as Max starts to make his way over. Brian Weatherby holds Max at bay, as Benjamin rolls back into the ring. He whips Jecht off the ropes, dropping down with a drop-toe-hold, and applying a British figure-four leg lock. Standing over Jecht, Benjamin extends his hand to tag in Steve Savoy, who comes in over the top rope with a double-footed stomp to the back of Jecht. Benjamin releases the hold and rolls to the outside, as Savoy rolls Jecht over and starts to go for a regular figure-four. Jecht uses his good leg to force Savoy into the turnbuckle, then hits Savoy with a back suplex, before rolling to the corner and tagging in Max, who comes in with a swinging neckbreaker, getting a two count from the resulting cover. Dragging Savoy to his feet, the German picks him up with a two-handed choke, holding him in the air until the count of four, before slamming him down hard. He walks over, tagging in Benjamin)

DT: And Benjamin’s back in there… WAIT A MINUTE!!! German Suplex by Max back into the corner!!!

DM: I don’t know who looks worse, Savoy or Benjamin – Benjamin’s head hit the corner hard, and Jason Payne’s tagging himself in.

MN: I guess Max was pissed that Benji had Jecht’s number.

DM: He certainly saw an opportunity and took it.

(Payne quickly checks to make sure Benjamin’s conscious before charging at Savoy, who connects with a leg lariat. Payne rises quickly, but is met by a dropkick to the jaw, followed by a drop toehold onto the second rope. Savoy makes the tag to X-Ecutioner, who drops the leg across the back of the former military man’s neck, choking him on the rope. As referee Pat Jones admonishes X-Ecutioner, Savoy runs the ropes, jumping up and coming down on the back of Jason Payne. X-Ecutioner connects with a hard right hand to the jaw of Payne before Savoy dumps him to the outside. X-Ecutioner backs Payne against the apron with a hard chop, before whipping him to the barrier. Holding his back, Payne slumps to his knees, the crowd roaring their approval as X-Ecutioner gives him two hard chops, before rolling him back into the ring.)

DT: Cover here by X-Ecutioner…

TWO!!

THRE-NO!!! Adam Benjamin in to break the count!! As much as he wants the TV title, you’ve got to think he’d rather walk into that match with tag-team gold around his waist.

DM: Steve Savoy’s come into the ring and is throwing right hands at Benjamin, as X-Ecutioner stretches Payne’s arms back. Thumb to the eye from Benjamin, wringing the arm of Savoy. Looks like… YES!!!

MN: What the hell was that?!?

DM: You don’t see that very often, but that’s an old-school Irish Whip. Benjamin there whipping Savoy off the ropes, and with the arm wringer in place still, Savoy went for a flip as Benjamin yanked back on the arm. If done just right, that Irish Whip will break your arm. It was common on the British circuit in the nineteen seventies and eighties, so you can tell where Benji picked it up from.

DT: Impressive move, and it got Payne out of that stretch, as X-Ecutioner charging in now and knocking Benjamin down with a shoulder block as the Briton was jaw-jacking with some of the crowd!! Max and Jecht seem to have had enough, as they’re now in the ring as well!!

(Max heads towards Benjamin and X-Ecutioner, slugging away on the latter with right hands, and winding Benjamin with a knee to the gut, whilst Jecht attacks Jason Payne. Savoy’s rolled to the apron, and climbs the turnbuckle, favouring his left arm and shoulder. Just as he slowly makes it to the top rope, Jecht whips Payne to the ropes, causing Savoy to lose his footing. Jecht scores with a powerslam on Payne, as Max scores a double clothesline, taking Benjamin, X-Ecutioner and himself over to the outside. Jecht looks rather disdainfully at Payne, then, seeing Savoy in a compromising position, steps through the ropes, and grabs Savoy by the throat. He lifts the smaller man off the top rope, and the crowd starts chanting "HO-LY *beep*!! HO-LY *beep* as Savoy takes a chokeslam to the floor)

DT: STEVE SAVOY MAY BE BROKEN IN TWO!!

MN: Now THAT’S impressive!!

DM: Jecht in control over there as Weatherby’s gone to look over Savoy, who’s really taken a pounding. On the other side of the ring, Max is faring nowhere near as well as his partner, as X-Ecutioner slams his head on the ring steps…hey, what’s Benjamin doing?

(Benjamin has broken away from the fight with the two larger men, forcing Brian Weatherby out of the way as he rolls Savoy into the ring. He then sits Savoy up somewhat, before running the ropes, and connecting with a Shining Wizard!!)

DT: Savoy’s out of it. The cover.

One…

TWO…

THREE!!! BENJAMIN TAKES OUT SAVOY!!

TONY FATORA: Steve Savoy and X-Ecutioner have been eliminated!!

(Jecht comes into the ring quickly, but gets met with an armdrag from Benjamin. Pat Jones is busy checking on Savoy in the ring, whilst Brian Weatherby is trying to pry X-Ecutioner and Max apart on the outside, but gets caught with a stray elbow. Benjamin, meanwhile, has Jecht backed into a corner, and is driving home a series of shoulder strikes to the gut. After several of these, he hits a stiff punch to the jaw, before hooking the big mans head, climbing to the second rope, and coming off with a tornado DDT. He goes for the cover, but the referee in charge is still attending to Savoy, rolling him to the apron as referee Andrew Gardell comes down to help Savoy to the back. Max, having won his slugfest with X-Ecutioner on the outside, slides in, dropping a double axe handle to the back of Benjamin. Pat Jones orders Max to the outside, as Benjamin drives his forearm into the throat of the larger man, releasing the pressure as Empire Pro’s senior referee turns around again. Picking Jecht up by the hair, he pushes him back into the corner, tagging in Jason Payne, who joins his partner in stomping a mudhole in Jecht)

DT: Excellent tag team strategy from Payne and Benjamin here, trying to isolate one of the tag-champs. Payne with the foot against the throat, releases on four. Off the ropes… HARD foot across the face of Jecht there!!

(Shrugging off Pat Jones’ warnings, Payne tags in Benjamin, as the team performs a double vertical suplex. Jecht lands hard, as Benjamin floats over for the cover, but Jecht easily kicks out at two. Benjamin then applies a rear chinlock, dropping Jecht down and leaning into the hold to do more damage. Feeling that he has the advantage, Benjamin releases the hold and goes for the cover)

DT: One…

TWO…

KICKOUT at three there by Jecht, as Benjamin tags Payne back in.

DM: Quick tags in and out, a very simple concept in tag team wrestling, keeps the fresh man in whilst wearing down an opponent. Irish whip, Jecht ducks the clothesline… BIG clothesline to Payne there, but Benjamin ducks under and takes the knee out from under the big man.

(Benjamin stomps on the knee of Jecht a couple of times, before grabbing the leg and driving the same knee into the canvas. Payne takes over, applying a half Boston crab, pulling back with all his might. Having seen enough, or on orders from his manager, Max comes in, taking Payne down with a bulldog, before dragging Jecht over. Max steps one leg through the ropes, tags himself in, and LEVELS Jason Payne with a forearm smash. Max sets Payne up, scoring with a belly-to-belly overhead throw. Picking Payne up by the hair, he performs a picture perfect gutwrench suplex, covering for the two. He lifts Payne up again, taking him down with a side headlock, which Payne struggles against. Pat Jones asks him if he wants to submit, but Payne manages turn off his shoulder and stand up. Three hard forearms to the kidneys prove enough to loosen Max’s grip, and Payne runs the ropes)

DT: Payne ducks the boot by Max, off the ropes again… cross body NO!! BIG fall away slam there by the big German, and Payne’s back ahs got to be hurting after that one.

DM: Neither team wants to give it up here – the momentum Benjamin and Payne would have going into the television championship match would be huge.

MN: This is one damn good match.

DT: Compliments from you Mike?

MN: A rarity, I know. Hey, any match without Loafy has got to be good.

DT: I should have known. Max now picking Payne up in a military press… DROPS him down across the knee, and Payne’s rolling on the mat after that one.

DM: That’ll either wind you or break your ribs. Either way, it hurts.

(Max takes his time, pulling Payne into a free corner. He whips him hard across the ring, charging in with a clothesline which lifts Payne clean off the mat. The smaller man slumps back into the corner, and Max sends him across the ring again. Max charges in, but Payne manages to get an elbow up, knocking the German back a couple of paces. Max comes in again, but is met with a kick to the gut and a hard chop across the chest. Sensing that this is a good time to mount an offence, Payne pulls himself into a seated position on the top rope, and, as Max gets his head straight, leaps off with a somersault neckbreaker!! Both men are down, with their partners shouting for the tag, as Pat Jones starts his count)

DT: Big move by Payne but how much has been taken out of him?

DM: Whichever team gets the tag here will be in a great position to go on and win the match. Max is starting to stir as the ref is at a five count, and Payne now trying to use the ropes to pull himself to his feet!! Six…

Seven…

Eight…

Max is up, followed by Payne!! Max with a right hand, blocked by Payne… ENZIGURI!!

DT: Jason Payne leaping across the ring… TAG TO BENJAMIN!!

(Benjamin comes in quickly, taking Max down with a drop kick, followed by a hip toss, and a flying forearm. Jecht comes in, but is met with a thumb to the eye followed by a MASSIVE double-arm suplex. Benjamin goes back over to Max, twisting his arm and connecting with a short-arm clothesline. He goes for the cover, but Jecht breaks it up as Jason Payne comes back in. All four men start going at it with right hands, as the challengers finally get the upper hand, forcing the champs back to opposing corners. They whip the champs across the ring, but Jecht manages to reverse the manoeuvre. As Payne and Max meet in the centre of the ring, Max jumps up, throwing himself over Payne with a somersault)

DT: MAXIMUM IMPACT!!! THAT SOMERSAULT NECKBREAKER FROM THE NEAR SEVEN FOOTER!!

DM: Benjamin’s charging in now, but Jecht catches him in a sleeper!!

DT: JECHT BOMBER!! Jecht just throws Benjamin to the outside there, as Max with the snake-eyes on Payne. Jecht now with Payne on his shoulders, and Max climbs the ropes… BLITZKRIEG!!! THEY HIT IT!!!

One…

DM: Benjamin’s trying to get in.

DT: TWO!! JECHT WITH A BOOT TO THE FACE ON BENJAMIN!! THREE!!! BLITZ RETAIN!!

(sfx: dingdingdingding)

TONY FATORA: The winners of the match, and STILL Empire Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champions of the World…. Max… Jecht…. BBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!

(Cue up: "Links 2-3-4" as Leonard grabs the title belts, taking them into the ring as Blitz celebrate the win. Benjamin looks pissed on the outside, as Pat Jones checks over Jason Payne.)

DT: Impressive title defense for Blitz here tonight!! The Cameron Cruise Project's Tag Team challenge is up right after this!!!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

The Motor City Maniacs vs. Joey Melton/Kin Hiroshi

(MUSIC CUEUP: Detroit Rock City - KISS) DT: They say Tag Team action is a lost art in this business, boys, but tonight AGGRESSION puts that theory to the test.

(CUTTO: The Motor City Maniacs, Ripper Robertson and Madman Max Mayhem running down the aisle, sprinting past the outstretched hands of starry-eyed children, and deeply single guys: The men who stare too long, and say everything with their loud, clumsy footwork in the dead of night. The RCA Dome setting a record for sheer depravity under one roof. Three paces behind the former GXW Tag Team champions, catwalks their manager: Paradise. Beautiful, in an approachable way. The class of lady you'd open a newspaper to see bedding 17 year-old high school students just because her marriage has run the colors of she and her husband together. A desperate wildness flushes in her eyes; she's not short on tales to tell. The Motor City Maniacs hit the ring running, bouncing off the ropes and remembering that 'kick ass' grimace and pose that struck fear in the hearts of tag teams years ago. First match back in some time. The butterflies have made a nest in their bellies, but that's what Mayhem and Robertson missed. The excitement, and the fear of falling flat on their face and having to come to grips with the reality that their careers haven't progressed where they'd thought they'd be now. Paradise tames the ring steps one heel at a time, blushing at the catcalls and cell numbers written on concession stand receipts, crumbled and tossed at her feet like roses for a Broadway Starlet. She hunches her back forward, her left foot stepping through the ring ropes. She stops for a beat when the ropes are even with her crotch. The deprived dream and hide their children's eyes. Most do. For some, it's a rite of passage that their boys see entertainers with shaddy morals clench a six-inch thick ring rope between her tanned thighs. Paradise ends the tease, skipping into the ring, and slapping her boys on the chest. Working the crowd's ****ing cake.)

MN: Boy these guys look excited to be here. And why shouldn't they. A week ago they were delivering pizzas. It's been a long time between drinks.

DM: Not for me.

DT: The Motor City Maniacs have a great history, and Ryan Ryan scored a major coup by bringing them into the fold.

MN: Major coup? I've lost you Dave. Last I checked, Papa Johns didn't offer competitive wrestling on their Internet menu.

DM: Better ingredients, better pizza. And the best part is, it's true.

DT: Honestly I do like their new Pan Papa.

MN: And not the least because they're a sponsor, huh Dave?

DM: Pan Papa, wasn't he Paradise's last Dom?

DT: Guys...

MN: I saw her backstage two hours ago doing blowjobs shots with Ryan. I swear it's true. No, seriously, she's a handsome woman. Maybe the kind you take with you to a bullfight, but not necessarily your ten-year high school reunion.

(MUSIC CUEUP: Forever Young - Rod Stewart)

(CUTTO: Joey Melton, in black trunks, knee pads, boots, and a white "Fair is Fair" T-shirt-Helen Slater's Oscar Gunning face melted into the Tee. Kin Hiroshi too thrilled to be with Melton to feel as he SHOULD stepping out to Rod Stewart-embarrassed-confidently leads Joey down the aisle and to the ring. "Forever Young." Cruise didn't appreciate Stewart's opus, nor it's nostalgic spell cast on Melton. Cameron, see he was a selfish bastard. Remixes, and rare B-sides of the "Raspberries", whatever made Cruise cool in the eyes of his blog reading fans is what Melton was subjected to when Cameron drove through the night on long tours. If you can't open up and share Rod Stewart with another man, if you can't TEACH him about music like you would an ignorant soda drinker on fine wine, then there's really nowhere else the relationship can go. The Cameron Cruise Project hit their ceiling somewhere between the Playboy Mansion, and Fred's Diner in Norfolk, where Cruise shook the foundations of the Steakhouse and became the first man to ever eat the 72oz steak in one sitting. The aftermath, the two-hour ride back to their Holiday Inn Express room was the last wedge driven between friends. Melton leaving Cruise at a reststop for four hours, breezily returning at the crack of dawn as they headed to their next gig: The Grand opening of a new Piggly Wiggly in Mobile, Alabama. Fuses were shortened, and, well you know the rest. Melton picks up a mask to surprise Troy with after dinner, and Cruise gets all offensive. "YOU tried to screw me. YOU're a jeal-ass! YOU an old toad! The shame of it is, they're not even fighting over a woman.)

DM: Handsome woman. What are you saying Mike, that she'd fit nicely in a Jersey Diner?

(CUTTO: Hiroshi leap frogging the ropes, coming to rest in the ring in a Ninja ready position. Melton applauds his new partner's agility, stepping through the ropes with his left foot, pausing as the ropes even with his crotch. Joey grinds the six-inches between his legs. Grown men cry. Women fleece the scene. Kids take a mental picture that will last a lifetime.)

DT: Tag Team wrestling at its best tonight! The debut of the Motor City Maniacs, twice over, as they're put smack in the middle of the CAMERON CRUISE PROJECT'S messy divorce.

MN: My card says there are judges. I don't see no stinkin' judges.

DT: They're in a discreet location watching from the back.

DM: That's a nice way of saying, "Shut up Mike, there are no judges, and we pray it Doesn't come to a vote."

DT: You can read between the lines.

(Robertson steps down on the middle rope with his Size Clown feet and morphs from Prince Adam to He-Man, lifting mightily on the top rope, creating a wide opening for Paradise to casually exit through. Melton and Hiroshi seem to be at a difference of opinion. They're choosing to see who starts. Shake, Shake, Shake, Joey throws down two fingers, Kin as well. EVENS. Joey wins, slaps Hiroshi on the back and mouths 'give'em hell.')

DT: Motor City's finest will take on teams of Melton and Kin Hiroshi, and later tonight, Cameron Cruise and Kin Hiroshi.

DM: Outside of the fact that Robertson and Mayhem have two shots at scoring victories tonight and jumping right into the Tag Title scene, Cruise and Melton are also playing for the Championship of each other.

DT: Well-said! The judges hidden in the back are watching these matches closely, and at the end of the show, having rated both performances will call either Melton or Cruise the better performer. These two men, once the best of friends and the greatest tag team I've personally seen in years, have their pride at stake tonight.

DM: Who was the real driving forcing behind the Cameron Cruise Project? That's the issue at stake here tonight. Was Melton right? Did he carry Cruise? Or was Cruise the silent workhorse, who Melton overshadowed?

MN: And will Marlana-Evans-Black ever regain her memory, and recognize she loves Roman Brady most?

DT: Robertson and Hiroshi to start!

(CUTTO: Mayhem nervously sighing to Paradise, who slaps him playfully in the back of the left leg. He's ready for it. Just don't doubt yourself.)

DM: Cruise always started for the Project. I like Joey's strategy out of the gate. Go with what you know. Show Cruise that Hiroshi can fill his role without fail. Like that episode of CHEERS where Norm brought in a monkey to deliver the mail. Classic.

DT: Robertson and Hiroshi lock up! Kin with a knee to Robertson's gut, and now an arm bar!!

JOEY MELTON: (applauding) Get'em Kin! Get'em!

DM: Aside from having to see Kin Hiroshi wrestle twice tonight, I'm excited about this Wrestle Off!

MN: It could be worse: it could've been Cruise wrestling twice.

DM: I hear his best feature are his eyes.

DT: Hiroshi with a forearm over Robertson's right arm!

JOEY MELTON: Break it Kin! Break it! (CUTTO: Melton pulling up his black knee pads. Ready for action!)

DT: Hip toss by Hiroshi! Kin goes up top...FLYING LEG SCISSORS! And he stays with it! Submission hold right here! Melton looks ecstatic!

MN: Come on, Dave when was the last time someone submitted to the leg scissors? Wait, that's what ended your career, wasn't it Dean?

DM: Your momma gave when I had her in the same hold Neely.

DT: Robertson working to his feet. Ripper leaps out of the hold! Standing dropkick! Kin was really nailed with that one!

(CUTTO: A bored looking Melton leaping off the apron, yanking out a strand of his radiant blonde hair and tossing it into the strands. A gaggle of young woman FIGHT over it. Joey BANGS on the ring apron, urging Kin on.)

DT: Ripper ramming Kin's head into the mat like a pogo stick! Hiroshi's stunned!

MN: No, you think? The man's made a career out of passing muffins out ringside to kids, you think he's ready for full contact?

DM: Here comes Melton. Our way. Neely go play in traffic to make room.

DT: Hiroshi whipped across the ring, and off the ropes, POWERSLAM!

(CUTTO: Joey standing next to the broadcast table, being handed an extra headset. A couple behind Neely burn through a roll on their disposable camera, with luck a few shots of Melton will turn out.)

DT: The quick tag to Max Mayhem! Robertson with an arm bar on Hiroshi, Mayhem...on the middle turnbuckle...FOREARM SMASH! That arm of the Muffin Man's could be broken.

JOEY MELTON: Actually Dave he's asked me to let the cat out of the bag, Kin no longer wishes to be referred to as the Muffin Man, but rather, "The Master Of Sexual Ceremonies."

MN: Modern! I like it.

JOEY MELTON: My mother gave that one to me when I was sixteen. It's on rental to Kin. FIGHT'EM KINNY, FIGHT'EM!

DT: Kin again sent hard off the ropes, FLYING LARIAT! Two count! Joey, you almost went a match down right there!

JOEY MELTON: Nonsense Thomas. Kin's merely toying with these two apes. Oddly enough, Mike you may enjoy this, I've been told Robertson and Mayhem used to deliver Pizzas. I knew Ryan was hard up for talent, but I thought he'd at least go back to what worked. Find the same rock Cruise crawled out from under.

MN: That one is in a museum, Joey, if I'm not mistaken.

DT: DDT by Mayhem! Tag to Robertson! Good early teamwork so far.

(Both men send Hiroshi across the ring...)

DT: Hiroshi rolls UNDER A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE ATTEMPT! DROPKICK ON BOTH MEN!

JOEY MELTON: The Master of Ceremonies in full control. Thomas that's why I'm here, and you're there.

DT: You're a foot from me Melton.

(CUTTO: Hiroshi looks over the ropes, perplexed that Joey's doing commentary.)

JOEY MELTON: Good job Kin! (thumbs up) Show'em that move we worked on last night!

DM: What move is that?

JOEY MELTON: How the hell should I know, I've never seen this kid before today in my life.

DT: An odd strategy if you ask me.

MN: Joey didn't. It worked for he and Cruise. Joey I've been meaning to ask you...

DT: Snap suplex by Hiroshi!

MN: Cruise's media guide biography says he's "Quick witted." When will we see evidence of this?

(CUTTO: Melton slipping a twenty to Neely for using the barb.)

JOEY MELTON: Neely, I've asked myself the same thing.

DT: Backslide pin attempt by Kin! Trying to win the match by himself! ONE....TWO.... (Robertson dives in to make the save.)

JOEY MELTON: Win the match by himself? Hey, who do you think is pulling the strings here?

(CUTTO: A middle-aged fan behind Joey, drunkenly standing out of his seat, asking his friend 'should I?' The old rascal, six-foot, grayish-white beard, with a gray pony tail, downs the last of a beer before laying into Joey.)

FAN BEHIND MELTON: GET BACK IN THE RING YOU OLD (CENSOR).

DM: Yikes.

MN: Mom?

DT: Fans, we apologize for that.

JOEY MELTON: Sounds like somebody's had a little too much. Neely, is that really your mom?

FAN: MELTON YOU SUCK! YOUR SISTER IS A WHORE!

JOEY MELTON: She's colorful. I like her. COME ON KIN! Next gear baby, next gear.

DT: Suplex attempt by Hiroshi blocked! Robertson BELLY-TO-BELLY!

FAN: YOU'RE OLD JOEY! YOU'RE GARBAGE! GARBAGE I SAY! HEAR ME ROAR!

DM: Hiroshi's looked good so far, wouldn't you say Joey?

JOEY MELTON: Who?

(CUTTO: The rascal, foaming at the mouth, pissed that he's not bothering Joey. He grabs the zipper on his cutoff blue jean shorts. He could piss on Joey, but he'd probably have the hell beat out of him for that.)

FAN: I LOVE CAMERON CRUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE.

(CUTTO; Melton angrily turns to the fan, acknowledging him for the first time; A line was crossed.)

JOEY MELTON: Shut it, Alfie!

DT: Tag in to Mayhem, Robertson's got a hold of Kin's legs, SPRINGBOARD ELBOW DROP! What a move!

FAN: CAMERON CRUISE RULES, JOEY MELTON DROOLS!

(CUTTO: Joey cocking his right fist. He's too smart to be goaded into a lawsuit settlement, but it's almost worth the 10k. This guy is inhumane. JOEY MELTON: Get this animal out of here! Get him out!)

(CUTTO: The section of fans around Melton all begin to taunt him, proving that yes, if their friend jumped off a bridge, they would too.)

DT: Mayhem, double ax handle! Tag to Roberston! Off the ropes, DOUBLE FLYING FOREARMS, NO! Kin ducks!

(CLOSEUP: Kin stops and dives for his corner but Melton's not home.)

(CUTTO: Joey losing his cool, forcing a security officer to hold him back.

FAN: CAMERON CRUISE MADE YOU!)

JOEY MELTON: You want a fat lip!? Huh! Do you!?

FANS: (Chanting like they're at a Dodgers game in the mid 80s, and the Mets and Daryl Strawberry have come to town)

CAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMERON.

CAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMERON.

JOEY MELTON: Damn you people! (Joey kicks at the security railing. Fake kicking a fan's ass usually works, but these dopes don't bite.) Go back to your shanties!

DT: Hiroshi trying to tag! He's desperate!

(CLOSEUP: Kin frantically searching in his corner for Melton's extended hand. Maybe he's blind, Joey's there, he's got to be. I mean, a former Tag Team Champion of the Year KNOWS the rules. When a partner needs 'out', YOU'RE THERE!)

DM: So was Neely's ex-wife.

DT: Joey! I think...

MN: Melton. Melton! Hiroshi. Tag.

DT: Knee to the back, and Hiroshi's sent through the turnbuckle! He rammed that iron post with his left shoulder!

FANS: Who's Melton's daddy? CAM-RON CRUISE!

(CUTTO: With a notepad and number two pencil in hand, writing seat numbers and physical descriptions down. JOEY MELTON: (grabbing a security officer) ALL OF THEM. OUT NOW!)

DT: Robertson has Hiroshi in a powerbomb position...POWERBOMB! Mayhem off the top turnbuckle, LEG DROP!

(HUGE pop.)

FANS: HE'S YOUR DADDY!

(CUTTO: Joey SHAKING an index finger, he means business! JOEY MELTON: Shut it!)

MN: MELTON!

DM: I wonder what the judges will say about this.

DT: ONE....TWO...THREE!! THE MOTOR CITY MANIACS HAVE JUST WON! What a debut here tonight, beating Joey Melton and Kin Hiroshi!

(SFX: DING! DING!)

(CUTTO: The ringing of the bell washing over Joey's back like cold water. He's back in reality. Tell him Kin won, right?)

DT: Robertson and Mayhem will be back later tonight!

MN: Dude, we tried to...

(CUTTO: Joey rushing to the ring, rolling through the bottom of the ropes only to watch Paradise jump in the chiseled and waiting arms of Robertson! Mayhem leaps to the second turnbuckle posing to the fans! Joey yanks the ref into a corner, DEMANDING an explanation. He's told, Kin went down, I counted one, two, three. Called for the bell. Hiroshi kicks the bottom rope and asks Joey 'what the hell? He'd heard Melton was good, no GREAT! He could sue for false advertising.)

DT: We have to take a quick break, but we'll be back! Much more to come!

(CUTTO: The Motor City Maniacs heading back up the aisle, they're 1-for the night, and conserved needed energy. Meanwhile, back at Camp Oops, Melton shoves Hiroshi, screaming at him in old Latin, or some other ancient tongue. Hiroshi won't take the blame. With luck the judges did NOT see this.)

 

[DBrunkGXW]

(Cut to the hallways in the bowels of the arena where Kenny Lombardo stands outside the main door to Dan Ryan’s offices.) KL: Hey guys, I’m back here at Dan Ryan’s office and in just a few minutes I hope to get a word with…

(The door swings open and Dan Ryan himself steps out, a little surprised by the camera crew but stopping to speak to Kenny anyway.)

KL: Mr. Ryan, if I could….

Ryan: Sure…

KL: Mr. Ryan, we have word that Hornet has arrived in the building. Your thoughts?

Ryan: Uh…excuse me?

KL: Hornet is here.

Ryan: (eyes narrowed) Said who?

KL: (confused a bit) Well uh…I had spoken to Paul Freeman off the air about fifteen minutes ago and he said that he had arrived, but he wanted to go in and speak with him to make sure everything was in order before coming to see you about it.

(Just then, Paul Freeman comes hurriedly into view – his face is white)

Paul: Look, it’s not my fault. I spoke to his people!! It’s not my fault!!

Ryan: What?? What the hell are you talking about?? What’s not your fault???

(Suddenly out of the side of the camera shot a skinny kid, not more than 5’8” tall and maybe 160 pounds soaking wet – DRESSED LIKE HORNET – comes flying in and attempts a weak Hornet Splash on Dan Ryan.)

Ryan: (easily brushing off the attack as the kid flops to the ground) WHAT THE…..???

(The kid leaps to his feet and runs off screaming over his shoulder)

Kid: I AM THE MIGHTY HORNET!! BEWARE THE SPLASH!! BEWARE THE GLASS CEILING!!! I WILL HOLD YOU DOWN, RYAN!! I WILL HOLD YOU DOWN!!!!!!

(Ryan looks after the kid as his face becomes contorted with anger. Ryan turns to Freeman, and sees him trying to slowly slip away.)

Ryan: FREEMAN!!!!

(Freeman takes off in a dead sprint. Ryan goes after him.)

Ryan: YOUR ASS IS MINE, FREEMAN!!!!

(Cut back to the broadcast booth)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Foxx vs. Karla Starr

DM: That was uh….definitely not Hornet.

MN: No ****, Dean. You really know your wrestling.

DM: Rest in Peace, Paul Freeman.

DT: I think maybe we should just get to our next match. Take it away, Tony Fatora!!

TONY FATORA: Th' following contest is scheduled for one fall!

(CUE UP: The song "Angelwitch" by the band of the same name. The crowd offers mild, polite applause as Foxx walks out onto the ramp, raking a hand through her hair absently before hustling to the ring to stretch in the corner.)

TONY FATORA: Introducing first, from San Antonio, Texas... FFFFFFFFOXX!!!

(CUE UP: "Maps" - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. As Karla Starr makes her way to the ring, the crowd's reaction is a bit louder, but it remains mostly mixed-ambivalent.)

TONY FATORA: And hailing from Boston, Massachusetts... KARLAAAAAA... SSSSSTAAAAAARRRRRR!!!

DT: Folks, this is the first time we've had an actual womens' match here in Empire Pro Wrestling. Karla Starr has some history in the business, but Foxx Does show some promise. This promises to be an interesting contest.

DM: These fans may be quiet, but they've never seen decent women's wrestling. Back in the glory days of *BEEP* chicks like Jennifer Rowe used to tear the house down.

MN: ...Wow, they're still censoring *BEEP* even though that thing with Zieba was months ago?

DM: Yes. Yes, apparently they are. Anyway, let's get back to the mat--GXW!! *BEEP*haha, I beat the beep!

DT: Folks, you didn't just hear Dean say *BEEP*.

DM: Yeah, I said D, not G. Dean Xtreme Wrestling!

(SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.)

DT: Starr and Foxx beginning to circle... it's Foxx who shoots in first, and there's the collar and elbow tie-up. Foxx snaps Starr into a headlock and drags her to the canvas, looking to cinch it in... Starr rolls her over and looks for a chinlock but Foxx breaks free and comes to a knee a few feet away.

DM: Not bad, not bad. Say what you will - these girls know the fundamentals.

DT: Both ladies lock up again... there's the go-behind by Starr and the hammerlock, but Foxx goes low and scissors her legs into Starr's chest to monkey-flip her to the mat. Boosts over to go for the inverted facelock, but Starr turns and pushes Foxx up and into the corner, and there's the shoulder to the gut of Foxx.

DM: Neely, no comment?

MN: Lemme recharge. I blew all my comments on the Big Loafy match.

DM: If you can call it a match.

DT: Starr whips Foxx out of the corner and sends her into the opposite buckles... Starr hits it on her back and bounces out... Starr TAKES her down with a running side kick!

DM: Ooh, harsh. That heel of hers snapped right into Foxx's jaw like a bullet.

DT: Foxx with a hand on her face as she climbs to her feet, but Starr's on her with those quick jabs to the chin, backing her into the ropes. The Irish whip, and the clothesline takes Foxx to the canvas once again.

MN: She hits pretty hard for a chick.

DM: If you want a hard-hitting chick, talk to Lindsay Troy.

DT: Karla Starr pressing the advantage here, pulling Foxx to her feet and shooting her off into the ropes again... catches her on the way back and NAILS her with the tiltawhirl backbreaker, and Foxx is yelping in pain!

DM: That was a VERY nice move from Starr there, Dave Thomas. You can see she's softening up the body with that attack, probably to bolster the Morning Star.

DT: Foxx rolling into the corner, and Starr after her, driving her boot into the shorter woman's ribs repeatedly. Pulls her to her feet... whips her into the opposite corner and charges after, but Foxx BOOSTS herself off the turnbuckle and shoots up and over to roll Karla Starr into a schoolboy! One - TWO - Kickout by Starr!

MN: Wow, nice counter!

DM: Textbook Jack Briscoe counter out of the corner. Foxx knows what she's doing.

DT: Up comes Foxx, Starr up as well, but Foxx stuns her with a sharp kick to the gut! Big right hands, and Foxx hooks up Starr and SLAMS her to the mat with a feROcious dragon suplex, held for the pin! One - TWO - Kickout by Karla Starr!

DM: Again, textbook, textbook. This girl's good.

DT: Pulling Starr off the mat by the hair, Foxx jabs her in the gut to stun her, then reels her in and hits the short-arm clothesline. Pulls her up by the arm again, and there's a second clothesline! Again pulling Starr up - the whip - Foxx CATCHES STARR ON THE REBOUND with the HURRICANRANA! Starr holding her head as she rolls to the outside, and Foxx just shouting at her to get back in the ring and fight!

MN: Man, she's kinda spunky, huh?

DM: Foxx has taken a decisive advantage in this match, Mike Neely. She surprised Starr, and Starr's trying to get her head together on the outside wait wait WHOA!

DT: FOXX OVER THE TOP ROPE WITH A SOMERSAULT TOPE AND BOTH WOMEN ARE DOWN ON THE FLOOR!

MN: Whoa, high risk!

DM: I didn't see THAT coming!

DT: Foxx is up first, grabbing Starr by the arm... WHIPS HER INTO THE RING STAIRS, AND STARR SCREAMS AS SHE GOES SMASHING INTO THE STEEL! Now Foxx grabbing Starr by the hair and SMASHING HER FACE OFF THE STAIRS, then rolling back into the ring to wait for Starr!

DM: Look at the grin on her face now!

DT: Wait - Starr grabbing a chair and hurling it into the ring, but the official sees it and tosses it out -- AND WHILE HE'S DISTRACTED STARR PULLS ANOTHER CHAIR INTO THE RING! SHE TAKES A SWING AT FOXX - AND FOXX SEES IT AND ROUNDHOUSE KICKS THE CHAIR STRAIGHT INTO KARLA STARR'S FACE!!! STAR GOES DOWN AND FOXX ROLLS HER UP!!!

DM: THE REF SEES IT NOW!!

DT: ONE! TWO! THREE! Karla Starr's plan backfired!

(SFX: *DINGDINGDING* - Bell rings.)

TONY FATORA: Here is your winner... FFFFFOXX!!! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

DM: I gotta say, I really enjoyed that match.

MN: Me too - but I don't think I can stand up for a few minutes at least.

DM: Goddammit, Neely...

MN: Hey, I'm a man ya know...

DT: We'll be right back!!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

(Cut to: Dan Ryan's office as he is on the phone and still not in a good mood. There’s a knock on the door.) Ryan: Let me call you back. People seem to love bothering me during important business. Ok...ok...bye.

(He looks at the door) WHAT!

(A large bulit man opens the door as he enters the office.)

Guard: Sir, he's here.

Ryan: Who’s here? This better be important.

Guard: Doe...

Ryan: Bring him in...now.

(The man reaches outside the door yanking Doe inside the room dragging him by the collar of his shirt then lets him go in front of Ryan's desk.)

Doe: HEY! This is a $75 dollar polo you prick!

Ryan: Sit.....NOW!

(The man forces Doe to sit in the chair infront of the desk.)

Ryan: I guess you think you’re slick huh?...skipping out of town trying to get out of your contract….. as you can see I can find anyone.

Doe: F*ck you.

Ryan: Shut him up please.

(The guard slugs Doe in the mouth causing him to bleed.)

Ryan: Thank you. Now listen and listen good… you’re not getting out of your contact. You’re stuck here, we paid you thousands of dollars to wrestle and you’re staying here, wrestling, and you are wrestling under a suspension of pay.

Doe: You can't do that.....

Ryan: Oh, I can and I am. You are going to wrestle for free until you’ve decided to beg for forgiveness. Call it community service.

Doe: Yeah, that will happen when you pull your head out your ass!

Ryan: That's touching, John. You need to learn respect. Jimmy, teach Mr. Doe respect.

(The man slams Doe’s head against the desk and lifts his head back up by his hair.)

Ryan: You are wrestling…. and your contract right here… (taps the open folder laying across his desk) ….that you signed says you have a couple more years, and I expect to use all of them.

(Doe spits a bloody spit at the contract as he looks at Ryan)

Doe: That's what I think of your contract.

(Ryan smiles, then violently reaches across and grabs Doe’s head, slamming it hard against the desk and crashing it down on it)

Ryan: You will respect my office and my business. You are wrestling or you are going to jail. Now you get the hell out of my office before I break you. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

(Ryan pushes Doe back by his head, forcing the chair backwards so that the chair falls over and his head hits against the floor. Doe stands up gingerly.)

Doe: Clear as crystal, Danny.

Ryan: Get him out of here.

(The man grabs Doe by the collar dragging him out again, Doe flipping off Ryan as he exit the door)

Ryan: (under his breath) Idiot.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Cameron Cruise/Kin Hiroshi vs. The Motor City Maniacs

DT: And we’re back! John Doe doesn’t seem to have a very good sense of timing does he?

DM: I’d say not. After that Hornet fiasco, the boss is in a foul mood indeed.

(MUSIC CUEUP: Detroit Rock City - KISS)

DT: Well fellas, it’s time for The Motor City Maniacs vs. the remnants of the Cameron Cruise Project, take two!

(CUTTO: The Motor City Maniacs, Ripper Robertson and Max Mayhem bolting out of the gate like bulls released into a rodeo ring by an airhorn. The win earlier in the night relived some of the pressure of their debut. Melton and Hiroshi, well, more Melton really, self-destructed, but Ripper and Max felt at home in the squared circle. Left in their wake is Paradise. She thought maybe she'd change outfits for the second match, but decided to earn credibility in EPW before overplaying to the crowd. Likewise, with the B-12 confidence boost from the Melton/Hiroshi win, Paradise's leggy strides reach the extra mile. EPW will work, just fine.)

DT: Robertson and Mayhem look to make to 2 for their debut night! Mike, Dave, has there been a team in EPW history to debut with two wins on the same card?

DM: Don't we have a stat department to look that crap up?

MN: Why do you think Freeman stuck you here next to me? Go fetch the media guide and I don't want to see you back here until you've got PAPER CUTS that prove you were face deep looking for Dave's answer.

DM: I'm on it...

(CUTTO: The Motor City Maniacs jacking themselves up for the closer. A win would vault them right into the top of the Tag scene.)

(MUSIC CUEUP: Headstrong - Trapt)

(CUTTO: Cameron Cruise and Kin Hiroshi, slap hands on their way out as the crowd in the RCA Dome gives them a hero's welcome. The pressure's off, with Cruise knowing Melton lost. A win, and he proves why the team took his namesake. Hiroshi, eager to shake the bad taste of teaming with Joey out of his mouth, jogs to ringside, and Cruise follows at the same pace. ON THE SAME PAGE, ALREADY!)

(SFX: DING! DING!)

DT: Cameron Cruise offering to start against Robertson, a nice change of pace, after Melton CHOOSE Kin for the rights a half-hour ago!

MN: Joey's some kind of wonderful, Dave.

DT: Melton's a leg down in this competition, the Cameron Cruise Project wrestleoff! If Cruise and Hiroshi pin the Maniac's shoulders to the mat, Cameron Cruise is the winner!

MN: Do we actually know what Cruise wins?

(Cruise and Robertson lock up! Collar and elbow tie-up!)

DM: Pride. But, after teaming with Melton for over year, Cameron's got a ways to go before he's in the black there.

DT: Cruise powers Ripper into a side-headlock! Robertson scoops Cameron, BELLY-TO-BACK SUPLEX! Ripper up fast, defying ring rust, elbow drop on Cruise's mush!

MN: Mush? I had that once. Pissed blood for weeks.

DT: Cruise is whipped off the ropes, side-slam by Ripper-no!! Flying leg scissors by Cruise! Quick tag to Hiroshi, and the Muffin Man...

MN: Master of sexual ceremonies.

DT: I'm not calling him that!

DM: Why not, Dave Does.

DT: And the Muffin Man with a short-arm clothesline! Ripper up! Drop-toe hold by Hiroshi, into a STEP-OVER! STEP-OVER-TOE HOLD!

MN: This is where spending the last ten years delivering pizzas will hurt Robertson. I doubt he felt this kind of pressure delivering two large one toppings, an order of wings, and a 2 liter to dorm rooms. What, with no money back guarantee and all.

DT: Hiroshi twisting the left ankle of Ripper! But, Robertson rolls, counters, and kicks Hiroshi back to his corner! Tag to Cruise, but Robertson hobbles to take as well, Mayhem over the ropes, shoulderblock on Cruise!

DM: Uncharted waters for the night, both teams have tagged. Nice. Women and children allowed back in the room.

DT: Max Irish whips the Crippler, somersault, DDT! Mayhem showing he moves...

MN: Like a little girl...but hey..

DM: It threw Cruise off enough to work.

DT: Max knocks Hiroshi off the apron!! Uncalled for! And the ref's letting him hear about it too!

MN: Rhyme and Reason, Thomas. Rhyme and Reason.

(CUTTO: Paradise reaching in the ring to choke Cruise over the middle rope as the ref warns Mayhem. The crowd hates it.)

DT: More than a good luck charm I see! Ref calling for the action to restart, as Cruise coughs up a lung.

MN: What you thought she was just pretty face? She's in business with these boys, taking probably ten percent, or just the odd sexual favor here and there. That's what Dean works for, when he moonlights.

DM: Thin ice.

DT: Max makes the tag. Robertson to the middle turnbuckle, as Mayhem crouches, sticking his head under Cruise' crotch...

MN: Somewhere Beau Michaels is crying.

DT: Mayhem's up, he's got Cruise on his shoulders...Robertson NECKBREAKER FROM THE MIDDLE TURNBUCKLE! One, two..near fall! Cameron Cruise showing heart to kick from that devastating move! Another tag by the Maniacs, Robertson lays Cruise out over the top rope like a rag doll, pulling his legs back...Mayhem off the top rope KNEE TO CRUISE'S BACK!

MN: I think Hiroshi should pull a Melton. Hike, and let Cruise take the fall. Really, isn't that how it works?

DT: Hiroshi's a better man than that!

DM: Come again?

DT: Cruise buries a right hand into Mayhem's gut! Another! Another! OH!! Mayhem thumb to the eye! TAG! Robertson in, double whip into the ropes, SPINEBUSTER, FIST DROP OVER CRUISE'S FOREHEAD!

MN: Run, now Hiroshi. Kicking and screaming if you like, just move.

DT: Two count on a pin attempt! Cameron still fighting! He knows if they can score a pinfall he wins! His chance to shut Melton up, and have the last word! Ripper throws Cruise's lifeless left arm over his shoulder, SMALL PACKAGE by Cameron! ONE...TWO...NO! Robertson to his feet, looking a mite ticked, GARVIN STOMP but Cruise with a single-arm leg sweep! Cameron on his feet, leaps onto the middle rope and SPRINGS to Kin's outstretched left hand!

(SFX: TAG!)

DT: Hiroshi's in! It's a legal tag! He nails Ripper with a left jab! Mayhem in illegally I might add, and he eats a day-old stale muffin to the chops! Kin sends Max to the ropes, SUPERKICK! Mayhem's gonna need a moment alone! Kin fires Robertson into the ropes, Hiroshi hits the mat, leap frog by Ripper, Cruise catches him in mid-air! SHIPWRECK! SHIPWRECK! This could be it!!

(CUTTO: Paradise screaming in agony, pounding the mat!)

(CUTTO: Hiroshi covering Robertson for the win!)

DT: This is it! Cameron Cruise to ensure the judges are stealing money tonight!

(CUTTO: A fan jumping the guardrail, wearing a ridiculous afro wig, tan khaki pants, a Karen-O T-shirt, and lots of Bling. The fan DIVES into the ring and drops an axe handle over the ref's neck, like, hurting him and stuff. The pin, as much as it was, cannot go on.)

DT: What in star blazes?!

MN: EH DAVE! EH DAVE!

DM: Mike, is that?

(The crowd is HOT, as the fan drops Cruise like a bad habit via the slacknife! "TROY" chants break out.)

MN: Troy Windham is in EPW! TROY WINDHAM IS IN EPW!

DT: Can it be?! But what's he doing in this match! Come on Troy!!

(Windham jumps up and done like an ADD child miming the pee Ryance.)

MN: He's here to destroy EPW! He closed the GXW, he can close EPW as well! I believe! Yes, I beliiiiiiiiiiiieve.

DT: Hiroshi swings at Troy, block! NUT SHOT FROM TROY! Look at the arrogance as Windham fargo struts around the ring! Does he have a contract?

MN: Who cares!

DM: Neely, crab the red phone and call Ryan!

(CUTTO: Windham strutting near the ropes, motioning to Robertson to finish off Cruise, between steps. Too bad Troy Doesn't see Paradise hop up on the apron behind him, boost herself by standing on the bottom rope, and reach for the Afro wig. YANK!)

(The crowd GASPS.)

DT: The wig is off! This wig is off!

MN: I feel like I'm at an Elton John concert...

(CUTTO: 'Troy' minus the wig looking like the friend who forgot to bring the Super Bowl tickets.)

DT: That's not Troy Windham! It's Joey Melton! What's going on here?

MN: There goes the erection. Thanks Joey...

DT: Melton trying to sabotage Cruise's match! Joey with a swipe at Paradise but she's off the apron and to the floor! (the crowd heartily booing Melton. It's like finding an apple in your Christmas stocking.) Joey turns, LOOK OUT! Robertson's got him by the throat! Melton gesturing to Cameron, but it's too late. CHOKESLAM! (The roof lifts off)

MN: Dean, how are you scoring this bout?

DM: So, that's not Troy?

MN: Choice.

DT: Melton's counting sheep! Hiroshi NUT SHOT! Cruise schoolboy roll up, (every fan leaps to their feet) ONE, TWO...THREEEEEE!! Cameron Cruise and Kin Hiroshi have won it!

(CUTTO: Mayhem diving in a moment too late. Dispirited at the pinfall, bouncing a fist off the sweat-stained mat.)

DT: Look at Cameron Cruise and Hiroshi embrace! THAT was teamwork Neely!

MN: I was really hoping this would have to go to the judges on a double loss. Then we see who REALLY paid them off.

(CUTTO: A shaken Melton waking enough to roll out of the ring. Bent over outside, he surveys the scene, and kicks the ring steps!)

DT: The winner of the Cameron Cruise Project Wrestleoff, Cameron Cruise and Kin Hiroshi! Good match fellas!

MN: Just a side-note here, do you remember back in the mid-80s when the piledriver was outlawed? Can we with hindsight determine why?



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(CUTTO: The crowd leaning over the guardrail taunting a retreating Melton. Joey slaps a drink cup out of one fan's meaty paws, and disgustedly punches the air. As the noise hits a fever pitch, Melton pulls out a house mic.)

MELTON: CRUISEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! CRUISSSSSSSSSSE! Wipe that smug look off your face, you haven't beaten me! (Booo) I'm calling a DO-OVER!

DT: A Do-over?

MN: First he CHOOSES Hiroshi before a match, now he's calling DO-OVERS? What grade is Joey in again?

DM: Really, is Troy here?

(CUTTO: Cruise and Hiroshi in ring laughing.)

JOEY MELTON: These idiots distr---(Joey lunches at a fan) KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, PUNK. (skillfully back to Cruise) These idiots broke the first rule, and harassed me, breaking my focus!

MN: He's right, Joey Doesn't go to their work and harass them!

DM: Well, he probably pays people to go in to Wal-Mart for him.

(CUTTO: Cruise rolling his eyes. Now the world sees his pain.)

JOEY MELTON: This never happened! This never happened!

MN: Boy, I've been there.

DM: If he starts screaming, "She said she was 18" this becomes Best of DVD material.

JOEY MELTON: No more slight of hand, cheap parlor tricks Cruise. It's time to get SERIOUS! Next week, you, me, the salad tosser...

MN: FYI, he means Hiroshi.

JOEY MELTON: In a three-man tag match!

DT: Three-man tag?

DM: Cruise and Melton, one-on-one but both have the opportunity to tag in Hiroshi.

(CUTTO: Cruise and Hiroshi interested.)

JOEY MELTON: If you've got the guts you yellow bellied DOG! THAT'S RIGHT I SAID IT CRUISE. DOG! If you've got the guts, tell Freeman to draw up the contract and next week I'll have earplugs in to better prepare---(Melton again turns to the fan) I SAID, SHUT UP. (back to Cruise) In seven days, Sweetie, my mental game switches gears. I'm raising the bar! Yes, against all odds, Cruise...apparently after 18 months, I HAVE TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY!

DT: Next week, it's Cruise/Hiroshi/Melton! Three-man tag!

(CUTTO: Cruise and Hiroshi inviting Melton in the ring to fight.)

MN: Heh, he said yellow-bellied.

DT: Alright, time to go to comm... wait, I'm getting word that we're going to hear from JA.

MN: JA? What? I thought he died and went to hell or something after Steve Savoy finally disposed of his silly behind last week.'

DM: Apparently not, Neels, and I for one am interested.

(Cut to a shot of JA in front of an Empire Pro background.)

JA: You know, Jericoholicholics, I'm a bit disappointed.

I came here tonight to try and get me some revenge on Shawn Jessica Bubbles Hart for beating the holy hell out of me with a steel chair last week. But everywhere I went, he was nowhere to be found. In his locker room, but not there. I tried for the commissary, no dice. I even went to where all the stoners smoke up, and still, I couldn't find his punk ass.

I even tried to track him down after his big tag match with all the TV title guys, but he just disappeared. It was almost like he wasn't here at Aggression tonight.

So, since it seems he'd rather shift in the shadows than get what's coming to him, well, I guess I have to bring the fight to him. And I did. In fact, I did something that he won't forget for a long, long time.

(Cut to the Steve Savoy estate. A dump truck backs up to the front door and unloads a giant payload of cow manure in front of the door so that it blocks the door. The camera swivels around to show giant, medieval catapults filled with cow manure. A man who looks strangely like Christopher Lee dressed up as Saruman orders them to fire, and the catapults simultaneously fling the manure at the Savoy household.

Cut back to JA.)

JA: So there you see, I've heaped up Shawna's estate in the same amount of bullsh[bleep] that his sudden disappearance is. Now, if Stevie-kins wants to dig himself out from all that bull-dookie and decide to finish this issue with me mano-a-mano, then by all means, he's welcome. But since I doubt he will, I shall turn my attention to more pressing matters.

And those pressing matters are me getting back into an Empire Pro ring to wrestle. Sure, I may not have much ring rust due to my committments in Aye-One-Ee and the See-Ess-Dub, but I'm afraid some of our fans may have forgotten that the Anglo Luchador is still on the roster.

So next week, at the last Aggression before Black Dawn, I'm putting out an open challenge to anyone on the roster who thinks they can hang with the Anglo Luchador to step up, one time only, no strings attached, no blood-feuds, no animosity. Just two guys, wrestling their hearts out in front of a capacity crowd.

So what say you, Empire Pro? Step up, or else I'll get Christopher Lee to fling more bullsh[bleep] at your houses!

(Cut to the announcers' table)

DT: Well, that was quite the interesting segment.

DM: Yeah, remind me never to piss off the Anglo Luchador.

MN: Yeah, I mean, I don't need any freaky Lord of the Rings fanboys dressed up in front of my house.

DM: I was referring more to the mounds of poop.

MN: Yeah, that too.

DT: Alright, now we'll be back after this commercial break.

 

[DBrunkGXW]

(The lights cut out of the auditorium, as the sound of a thunderstorm begins, some flashes of light coming from a lighting rig above the ring as it lowers down. Some of the crowd start to cheer, others boo, and all are confused by what’s going on) DT: Looks like we’re experiencing some technical problems here Dean.

MN: Who forgot to pay the lighting bill?

DM: Don’t look at me.

MN: I can’t, I can’t see anything!!

(As the storm grows louder, the rig stops a few feet above the top rope, the lights still flashing.

CUE UP: Rainmaker, by Iron Maiden, as an explosion from the lighting rig triggers a cascade of green and white flashes across the auditorium. The rig starts to ascend as the camera switches to the entrance way with the beginning of the lyrics, showing a very familiar figure, dressed in stone-wash jeans and a white t-shirt. The fans cheer loudly as Karl “The Dragon” Brown steps forward, looking around at the crowd. As the pre-chorus kicks in, he walks to the ring, hi-fiving the fans, pausing for an autograph or two. As the chorus proper kicks in, he jumps up onto the ring apron, posing for the crowd during the second pre-chorus. Finally, as the second chorus kicks in one hundred seconds after the start of the song, Brown vaults into the ring, straight onto the second rope. As the guitar solo plays out, Brown calls for a mic, and the song fades to a rising chant of “DRA-GON! DRA-GON! DRA-GON!”)

DT v/o: The Dragon certainly has a strong following here. He missed the last Aggression after Ryan Ryan told him to rest an old knee injury, but Brown’s back in the ring with something to say.

(Brown stands in the middle of the ring, playing to the crowd for a few seconds before raising the mic to his lips and motioning the crowd to a hushed silence)

Karl: I guess I should thank Ryan for making me take the time off, huh? It meant I was well rested for the Natural Selection tournament a couple weeks back.

(Some of the crowd start up a “He’s hardcore!” chant. Obviously they followed the tournament)

DM v/o: Brown put in another good showing there, pulling off some incredible moves before getting pinned by Lindsay Troy.

MN v/o: You mean he was a loser again?

DT v/o: You know, you could go say that to his face.

MN v/o: I would… but

DM v/o: He’d rearrange yours.

Karl: Now, I know a lot of you were looking forward that night to seeing me go one on one with Lindsay, but, it didn’t quite pan out. You know what happened, and that’s why those moves are called high risk. But don’t worry; sooner or later, Lindsay and I will meet one on one in this ring, and you’ll get the technical masterpiece you deserve.

But I’m not out here to call out Lindsay.

(Karl takes a few steps around the ring, leaning on the ropes as he lets the message sink in. After a few seconds, he starts again)

Karl: You may remember, before Russian Roulette, there was a match to determine the number one contender for Sebastian Dodd’s Intercontinental Title, between myself and Adam Benjamin. You may also remember I won that match, and then got attacked by Eric, the artist formerly known as The Dragon, Davis. Ryan Ryan, in order to make sure he could give you guys a match to remember for the IC title, told me to take care of Davis first, and then face off with Dodd. Meanwhile, he gave Jonathan Marx a chance to reclaim the Intercontinental title.

That didn’t pan out, did it?

Ryan then gave Seb, Blitz and Troy the night off at Aggression to rest up, so they could be at one hundred per cent to entertain you guys in their title defences. Meanwhile, I was given John “what’s my name again?” Byrnes.

MN v/o: Where’s he going with this?

DT v/o: I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough, Mike.

Karl: After that match, which I won, Ryan called me to his office and told me to take some time off to keep this old rugby injury from being aggravated. I was cool with that, until last Aggression.

You see, I’d made a promise to Issac Doe. I’d promised that his spot as opening attraction was going to be filled by Sebastian Dodd, when I took his title from him. I keep my promises. But this one… sorry, Issac. I couldn’t keep it. Cameron Cruise beat me to the punch.

(Some of the fans cheer the mention of the master of the Shipwreck, Joey Melton’s sometime partner, and current IC champion, Cameron Cruise)

Karl: Now, I don’t blame Cameron. A free shot at the title was up for grabs, he took it, and went on to dethrone the Messiah, a man that beat me one two three when we last met. He did what he had to do to win the title.

Now, I looked at the card for this week, and I see Cruise is teaming with Kin Hiroshi in some kind of challenge, so the IC title has the night off in effect.

Which is why, next week at Aggression, I’m exercising my right as number one contender to a championship match. Cameron Cruise, Karl Brown, one on one.



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(Cue up: Personal Jesus by Gravity Kills)

The lights dim a bit as Your Hero, The Messiah of EPW, Sebastian Dodd steps through the curtain to confront Karl Brown. Dodd stands at the entranceway soaking in the mixture of boos and VERY few cheers before raising the mic in his hand to speak.)

Dodd: Uh, excuse me...pardon me...HELLOOOOOOOO! Is this thing on? I figured that maybe people had forgotten Seb Dodd.

I figured that maybe people were forgetting the true Intercontinental Champion.

But maybe it's only you doing that Karl. Every man is entitled to an off night; it just so happens that Cam Cruise caught me on mine. Make no mistake about it, that's all it was, ONE off night that cost me the Intercontinental Championship belt that I worked so hard to obtain.

I don't want to hear any of your sob stories Brown about waiting for your shot. I waited MONTHS for mine...when I won that shot fair and square in a battle royal, and even then, I had to get it in a three way Ryance. So you're crying to the wrong man there my friend. Believe me, I wish you got your shot too, because even on my worst off night, there's no way that you're putting me down.

(The crowd boos at Dodd for insulting Brown.)

Dodd: Accept it people. It's true. The fact of the matter Brown is that as the former Champion, I'm entitled to a rematch...it's a clause in my contract. I'm going to get that rematch. And I'm going to do it at Aggression. So get used to playing the waiting game Brown...you're going to have to wait until I get that strap back from Cruise before you get the shot...then if they want to throw you to the wolves, and put you in the ring with me...that's great, I could use the night off anyway.

(Crowd Boos again...)

Dodd: Easy there people...don't hate your Messiah for speaking the tru...

(Brown cuts off Dodd.)

Karl: Excuse me, Mr Dodd, but let me remind you of how long you had to wait. You won the right in Minneapolis, and got your shot fair and two and a half months later at Wrestleverse. You finally WON the title when? December. Boxing Day, to be precise.

Let me give you a little more history, Sebastian. Yes, you won the royal rumble match to become number one contender. But... there was one person you didn't eliminate, who no-one eliminated. That, my friend, was me.

(The crowd murmurs a little, trying to remember that night in Minneapolis)

Karl: Now, let's look at what took you so long to get your shot. In Anaheim, you teamed with Troy Douglas, against the two top title holders of the day, Beast and Jon Marx. In Las Vegas, you cost Marx the title, and had a match against Kin Hiroshi. The very next card, you got your title shot. It would have been one on one, too, if you hadn't decided to try and take JA out of the picture. You waited from July to October for your shot. I've been waiting since January. And, as number one contender, I supersede you. I'll be more than happy to give you a shot once I've taken the title from Cameron, so long as you promise to show up, but for right now, why don't you take yourself to the back, stand in front of the mirror praising yourself as I've seen you do so many times in the past, and give the real number one contender the chance to do something he would have done at Russian Roulette had Eric Davis had some sense, and win the Intercontinental Championship?

(Dodd smiles at Brown...then raises the mic again to speak.)

Dodd: First of all Mr. Brown...I don't always praise myself in front of a mirror, hell, I'm praising myself right now, sans mirror in front of this crowd, which knows above all else that I am, without question, the single greatest...

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Dodd (Raising his voice): WRESTLER IN EPW TODAY! That said Karl, maybe it's time for YOU to step aside, and give the people what they need. Not what they want...because they don't know what's good for them, but what they need, which is Sebastian Dodd as Intercontinental Champion...and that, my friend, comes from a rematch with Cam Cruise. After that, you're welcome to lose to me again...

(The crowd boos vociferously at the former Champ.)

Dodd: And by the way...I tried to take out JA because he was an undeserving throw in by the staff up front in an effort to delay the big money match. Cam Cruise was much the same thing, and if you had done the smart thing and taken him out we wouldn't have this problem.

So the way I look at it Brown.

YOU SCREWED ME!

(The crowd boo again, as Dodd lowers the mic, his eyes on the ring. Karl nods, a smile on his lips, as he walks over to the ropes immediately facing Dodd)

Karl: I... screwed... you? Well, I guess you're right. I didn't take Cameron out, did I? Being the Messiah, though, I'd've thought you could take anyone at any time, night off or not.

Now, look. We're not going to settle anything this way, are we? So, Sebastian, you have two choices. The first, is to walk back through that curtain, get in line, and wait like a good little boy with an overblown Messiah complex.

(The crowd cheers, as Brown backs into the centre of the ring)

Karl: OR… you can come down here, get your ass kicked, and be laid out on a hospital bed like a good little boy with a Messiah complex whilst I take the title from Cameron Cruise.

DT: DODD’S RUNNING TO THE RING!!

MN: Dodd’s gonna make him EAT those words!

DT: Sebastian Dodd and Karl Brown trading right hands in the ring, as security are pouring into the ring!!! They’re trying to pull these two apart!!

DM: If they get to each other, it wouldn’t surprise me if NEITHER got the next shot at Cruise.

DT: I know, but don't go away, the main event's next~!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

[DBrunkGXW]

DT: Alright guys, it's time for our main event, and I for one, am excited. MN: Why's that? We're not the ones who are going to call it. They're probably going to wheel out Kayla Wilson and Sal Scantlin any minute now to replace us.

DM: Neels, Neels, Neels, just stop it. It's my job to be edgy, and that's not edgy... that's just... Clapperesque.

DT: Ooh, can he come back with a comeback?

DM: Dave, go back to your Surge.

DT: *whimpers* Okay.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


MAIN EVENT
Handicap Tag Team Match
"Queen of the Ring" Lindsay Troy (c)/Cross/"Sensational" Steven Shane vs. AJ Cirrus/Ken Cloverleaf

(Cue up "The Wind Below" and enter Ken Cloverleaf to MASSIVE HEEL HEAT~!)

DT: The crowd doesn't really like Kenny.

MN: And I just don't know why. He's a former Champion, and he's pulled off the greatest dupe of all time!

DM: No Neels, he was just piggybacking off Lindsay Troy, and I don't think she quite liked that.

MN: Yeah, well who cares what she thinks, she's a woman.

DM: Mysogyny much, Neels?

(Cue up "Ppr:kt" and enter AJ Cirrus to more massive heel heat.)

DM: And now, the boring Canadian.

DT: Wait, we signed Jean Rabesque?

DM: Wrong one. I forgot there were more than one.

MN: You stop besmirching the good name of AJ Cirrus. He is one of the most talented guys in the business.

DT: That is true, Mike. Cirrus coming here is a big coup for Empire.

DM: Yeah, if you think that branching out into the sedative market is a good idea.

MN: Well, it can't be any worse than your shilling week in and week out.

DM: Hey, if you could make an extra 200 bucks a week hawking sweet, delicious Florida oranges, you would too.

MN: Bastard.

DT: Be nice, Mike.

(The heels are in the ring. Cue up "Damn," enter Sensational Steven Shane to a nice pop.)

DT: And will you listen to the reaction to Sensational Steven Shane for his first in-ring appearance in Empire Pro?

MN: No. Bastard.

(Shane gets to ringside. Cue up "Jesus Walks," enter Cross to another pop.)

DT: And the number one contender to the Empire Pro Title is coming down to the ring now.

DM: This ought to be interesting. Even though Cross and Lindz are bestest friends in the whole wide world, they're still slated to face each other at Black Dawn for Troy's belt. There could be some awkwardness here.

MN: Yeah, and I hope it explodes into a preview of Black Dawn. That and allowing Kenny and AJ to win.

(Cross is at ringside now. Cue up "Money, Power and Respect, enter Lindsay Troy, EPW World Championship around her waist. Mixed reaction, mostly cheers.)

DT: And now the Champion...

DM: Mixed reaction for her too.

MN: Pansies! Get off the fence and boo her!

DM: Why Neels? Because she dared to help out a friend?

MN: Well when that friend is Cross, then yes.

DT: Alright, everyone's on the apron and we can start the match. Ken Cloverleaf steps in the ring for his team and Steven Shane will start out for his.

(DING DING DING)

MN: Am I the only one who thinks this isn't fair?

DM: YEs, now pipe down.

DT: Shane and Cloverleaf circle each other in the ring here. These guys have a lot of history. They're former best friends, A1E Tag Team Champions and now...

DM: ...and now Cloverleaf doesn't want any part of Shane. He just done tagged out.

DT: And now AJ Cirrus steps in the ring.

DM: Ooh, and I thought Cloverleaf was big and bad and wanted to teach Shane a lesson.

MN: He will, just not now.

DT: Cirrus and Shane lock up in the middle of the ring and Cirrus with a quick knee to the gut. Shane's doubled over, Cirrus with a clubbing axehandle blow to the back of the head. Shane on all fours and now Cirrus stomping on Shane's back, forcing him down to the canvas.

MN: Canadian superiority, shown once again.

DM: The match just freakin' started, Neels. Why don't you save the hyperbole for the end?

DT: Easy fellas. Cirrus with a reverse chinlock on Shane. The Sensational One's wiggling out though, he's to his feet, the chinlock now becomes a side headlock. Shane now pushes Cirrus off him. Cirrus off the ropes with a shoulder block, Shane down to the canvas again.

DM: I think Shane wanted to take out Cloverleaf so bad that it put his guard down when Cirrus came in the match.

DT: That sounds like good analysis, Dean. (DM: Of course it is) Cirrus with the half-crab now, wearing down the Sensational One.

MN: Wearing him down and wearing him out. OH CANADA!

DM: Shameless, Neels. Utterly shameless.

DT: Be nice, Dean. Cirrus lets go of the hold and now he's stomping on Shane's left leg, the leg he had that crab on. Shane holding his leg gingerly.

MN: Canadians are known for working a singular body part to perfection. Did you know that, Dean?

DM: You've been reading "Wrestling for Dummies" again, haven't you Neels?

MN: Hey, it's called "The Idiot's Guide to Wrestling" and it's a damn good book.

DT: Cirrus with Shane's legs in a wishbone set up, and now he drops the elbow right across Shane's thigh! Cirrus with the cover, hooking Shane's left leg, but no, a kick out right as the ref counts two.

MN: He's very precise.

DM: And boring. I'd have gone for the nad-shot but that's just me.

DT: Easy fellas, Cirrus Doesn't want to get himself disqualified. Cirrus picks Shane up and Shane hits him with a left hand.

MN: Closed fist! Closed fist!

DT: ...and another left, and now he's running the ropes... no! Cirrus counters with a drop toe hold right on Shane's bad knee! He's back to work with that half crab, and things really aren't looking good for Sensational Steven Shane.

DM: He needs to tag out.

DT: Well, it looks like someone wants to tag in, but it's not from Shane's team. Ken Cloverleaf is begging for Cirrus to tag him in.

MN: Yes! And finally Cloverleaf can show the whole world that Perfect is better than Sensational.

DM: Well, it's easy to do that when you're beating on a guy with a bad wheel.

DT: Cirrus breaks the hold and now he's asking Cloverleaf if he really wants in. (Cloverleaf nodding excitedly) And now Cirrus tags him in.

MN: This is gonna be great!

DT: Cloverleaf struts into the ring over Shane who's got the bad wheel. And he's mocking Shane, this crowd is letting him have it.

MN: These people wouldn't know greatness if it came up behind them, pulled down their pants and stuck its d...

DT and DM: FAMILY SHOW!

MN: ...dime in their back pocket!

DT: That was disturbing, but not as disturbing to Shane as he'd be if Cloverleaf gets him in the Texas Cloverleaf here.

DM: Well, not if he keeps taking his sweet time.

DT: Cloverleaf has the left leg and he's just mocking Shane.

DM: I wouldn't do that. I mean, it's not like Shane is totally out of it here.

MN: Well then, why is he acting like it?

(The announcers are silent as Cloverleaf bends down to grab Shane's right leg and Shane boots him in the face.)

DM: I think you just saw why. POSSUM KINGDOM~!

DT: Cloverleaf reeling back while Shane slides over to his corner and tags in Cross! Cross in like a bat out of hell, right hand, right hand, right hand! Cloverleaf's down on the canvas, and Cirrus charges in the ring, but Cross with the back body drop over the top rope! Cloverleaf up and charges in, Cross right there with a spinebuster, Arn Anderson quality!

DM: You were right, Neels. That WAS great.

MN: Shut up.

DT: Cloverleaf back up to his feet, holding his back, but Cross will not relent, Northern Lights suplex for a cover...

...one...

...two...

...but Cloverleaf kicks out.

DM: Cross is a house on fire here, a bat out of hell, an insert-your-own-wrestling-announcer-clichè here.

MN: Yeah, he's also a real bastard too.

DM: Stop hatin', Neels.

DT: Cross grabs Cloverleaf to his feet by his shorthairs and whips him hard into the ropes. Cross goes in for the Hornet Splash, but... no! Cloverleaf moves, cackling all the while, but...

(SLAP!)

DM: Sweet sassy molassy~!

DT: Lindsay Troy just tagged herself in!

DM: I don't think Cross liked that, but Lindsay's in there. She's one spunky little fireplug.

DT: Troy in with Muay Thai kicks to Cloverleaf's ribs! The former A1E Champion is reeling! Back off the ropes he's stumbling towards Troy and... SNAP HURRICANRANA from the Champion!

DM: They call that a Frank'n'Parsons down in Greensboro. But I prefer Bush's Franks'n Beans. Mmm, mmm tasty. Secret family recipe too.

(A basset hound jumps on Dean's lap.)

DOG: WOOF!

DM: Awww, good dog, Duke.

MN: I hate you Dean.

DM: Aww Neels, don't be hatin'. It's only Duke.

DT: Troy now goes down (MN: Giggidy giggidy giggidy) but... (Cloverleaf thumbs Troy in the eye) awww, c'mon ref, do something!

MN: He is, he's looking away while Cloverleaf uses the oldest heel trick in the book! BOO-YAH~!

DT: Cloverleaf escapes back to the corner and tags in AJ Cirrus. Troy's still holding her eyes, and now Cirrus comes in... could we see the Cyclone here?

MN: I hope so!

DM: Cheerleader.

DUKE: WOOF!

MN: Get that damn mutt out of here!

DT: Cirrus has Troy on his shoulders... no! Troy slinks out... REVERSE UNDERHOOK DDT!

DM: Heh, she ain't just the Champ cuz she's a pretty face.

MN: She's not pretty. She's got manhands!

DT: Troy's up and she's putting those boots to Cirrus' gut. Cirrus is on the mat holding his chest and now Troy's signaling to the crowd...

DM: This could be good...

DT: STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS! Holy crap, now THAT'S athleticism! Cover...

...one...

...two...

...Cirrus kicks out.

MN: Canadians don't let glitz and glamor win them over.

DM: That did not make any sense, Neels. I think you need your head checked.

DUKE: WOOF!

DM: And Duke agrees.

DT: Troy is up and she's got Cirrus in place for the FInal Jud... NO! Cirrus counters with the back body drop!

MN: Oh Canada!

DUKE: Grrr...

MN: Hey, tell that mutt not to growl at me.

DM: Then stop being such a tool.

DT: Guys, we have a match! And Cirrus just tagged in Ken Cloverleaf!

MN: Get back at the *****!

DM: Dean, that's not a nice thing to say about a lady.

MN: Lady, schmady.

DT: Cloverleaf grabs Troy by her hair up to her feet and whips her off the ropes... BIG lariat off the Irish whip! Cloverleaf relentless, going back down and grabbing Lindsay's hair... Lindsay with a strike to Cloverleaf's chin! She's up with another one! And... oh come on, Cloverleaf's got a hold of the ref now.

MN: Well he should get him to pay attention to those damned closed fists that Lindsay's throwing.

DM: Yeah, I agree, if by closed fist you mean completely legal open palm martial arts strike.

DT: Lindsay is barking at Cloverleaf and... oh no! Cirrus has Troy by the hair! He's bending her backwards over the ropes and... club to the chest! Troy is down and Cloverleaf lets go of the ref.

DM: What a big baby.

MN: Hey, he was only trying to get justice for himself.

DT: Cloverleaf now going back to work on Troy. He's got her in the camel clutch.

MN: Just like in my fantasies.

DM: You are vile, you know that Neels?

DT: Cloverleaf's got that move locked in and he's nodding for Cirrus to come in. Cirrus puts his foot in the ring and now here comes Cross! Cirrus steps back on the apron and the ref's restraining Cross... oh no.

DM: Idiot. Cross fell for the oldest trick in the book, and now Troy's getting the stuffing beaten out of her by two guys.

MN: Hey, it's not their fault they're craftier than foxes.

DT: The ref turns around and now Cirrus scurries out of the ring. Cloverleaf turns the Champ over and covers...

...one...

...two...

...but Troy kicks out in a close call. Cloverleaf drags Troy to her feet and he's got her up in a vertical sup... NO! Troy slips behind him! Cloverleaf turns around... kick to the gut! DDT to Cloverleaf! Both are down and crawling to their corners!

MN: C'mon Kenny! Get to your corner!

DT: They're crawling, crawling... Cloverleaf tags in Cirrus, but Troy just tagged in Steven Shane! Listen to this crowd explode! Right hand, right hand, BIG RIGHT UPPERCUT from Shane to Cirrus! Cloverleaf hops in the ring, but he's cut off by Cross who tackles him over the top rope! Two on one brawling on the outside, Cirrus and Shane on the inside. Shane's whipping Cirrus into the corner, and he comes in with a Hornet Splash! And on the outside, Cross' got Cloverleaf open for a free shot. Troy winds up for a superkick... CLOVERLEAF SLINKS OUT! TROY JUST NAILED CROSS WITH THAT SUPERKICK! Cloverleaf up, but Troy catches him with a roundhouse kick that sends him to the canvas. She's over to check on Cross.

(On the inside, Shane is doing the ten-punch on Cirrus while this is happening. The exchange on the outside ends just as Shane is done with Cirrus on the inside.)

DT: Back on the inside, Shane's got Cirrus up, he's behind him and... CALIFORNIA DREAM! CALIFORNIA DREAM! Shane just nailed Cirrus with that sleeper drop! He covers...

...one...

...two...

...THREE!

(DING DING DING)

TF: Here are your winners... Lindsay Troy, Cross and Sensational Steven Shane!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DT: Shane is celebrating on the inside, but it's the outside that matters. I don't think Shane knows his partners were in that altercation.

MN: Well, nailing Cross was the best thing that broad did all night.

DM: Neels, that broad has a name, and she could probably kick your ass too.

DT: Cross is coming to, and OH MY! He just shoved Lindsay Troy as she was attending to him! Cross to his feet, Lindsay right in his face! I think Shane noticed it now! He's on the outside, trying to get between them... but the Champ and the Number One Contender are ready to go at it! I don't think Shane can keep them apart for that long.

DM: Well he's doing his damned best to.

(Suddenly a dry ice effect appears on the stage, and as it clears Dis 3 stands cackling with a mechanical voice down at Lindsay Troy, who turns and seethes – getting angrier and angrier. In a flash of light, the smoke reappears and Dis 3 is gone – leaving only the smoke behind.)

DT: Now here comes the roving band of refs through that smoke as Troy turns her attention back to Cross... this is tense, you can cut it with a knife! Oh my, they're staring a hole through each other! Two best friends, and that title between them! Oh my, this can't be good! We'll see you next week! EPW AGGRESSION, the last one before Black Dawn...

(Fade to the Empire Pro logo and copyright info.)


FIN