AGGRESSION 16: Austin, TX - 1/31/05

[DBrunkGXW]

[Open on the interior of a darkened locker room. In walks a figure, about 6’1”, 210 pounds, who turns on the lights and tosses a black duffel bag onto a bench in the corner. He is JOHN DOE. Doe takes a lit cigarette from between his lips, extinguishes it against the white cinder block wall, and tosses it in the trash can. He turns to walk over to his locker, but stops short, noticing something on the table near the door. He walks over and picks it up, a standard-sized white envelope, no address, no postage, just the words, in large, flowing script: “TO JOHN”. Doe opens the envelope in a flurry of nervous energy and reads aloud, an anxious tone in his voice.]
DOE: Dear John,

Nice play last week. Enjoyed the gambit.

Now, it’s my move. Be ready.

Signed,
The Teacher

[Doe tosses the letter in the trash can, a disbelieving look on his face. Looking into his eyes, we see sheer paranoia beginning to set in. He is nervous, unsure.]

DOE: I don’t freaking believe this.

That son of a *****!

[FADE OUT...]



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[CUE UP: "Imperial March" - Rage Against the Machine. A video montage plays, featuring smoke-wreathed images of various wrestlers, some of them leaving blurred trails as they move.

CUT TO: Beast nailing the Absolution on Adam Benjamin.

CUT TO: Karl Brown coming off the ropes with a Quebrada.

CUT TO: Christian Sands and Lindsay Troy standing victorious in the ring.

CUT TO: Troy Douglas standing victorious on a turnbuckle.

CUT TO: Adam Benjamin delivering a Shining Wizard to Karl Brown.

CUT TO: Golem cradling his claw, smirking.

CUT TO: Boogie Smallz lighting up a blunt.

CUT TO: Lindsay Troy dropkicking Christian Sands.

CUT TO: JA and Sebastian Dodd locking up in the middle of the ring.

CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting sedately in a chair, staring into the camera.

CUTTO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]



[Cut to the ramp, where a wreath of pyro explodes around the EmpireTron and several bomblike, smoky explosions ripple about the entry way. The camera zooms in on the screen as the pyro finally peters out, then blurs to roving shots of the roaring crowd as a small banner in the corner briefly appears to proclaim that EPW is broadcast en Espanol. Various signs are visible in the crowd: "BEAST FOR PRESIDENT!", "Hey Bolich! You're Late Again!", "THE SMARK PARTY OF AMERICA ENDORSES DAVE", "Where's Karl Brown?", "JA Is The King!", "SANDS FEARS RABESQUE", "DIS ASS!!!", and finally, "Dan Ryan Ate My Pork Chops".]

DT: Welcome, everybody, to Empire Pro Wrestling's Aggression! Welcome to Austin, Texas! We're just days away from Russian Roulette - but it looks like we're already off to a momentous start tonight! Guys, you have to believe that Troy Douglas has it in for John Doe after all that Doe's done to him.

DM: Douglas is going to butcher the kid, Dave Thomas. He's NOT a happy man judging from that letter, so Doe better watch his back.

MN: Megatron might steal his Energon!

DM: ...Out. Out the window.

MN: What window?

DM: I don't care. Just out. Now.

DT: Boys, can we grow up?

MN: But he started it, mom!

DT: Mom?!

DM: Mike's used to having manly women in his life.

MN: Exactly. ...NONONONONONONO NOT REALLY!!!

DM: BAHAHAHA! HE ADMITS IT!

DT: *snicker* God, someone take it down to the ring before I crack up!



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"The Dog of War" Jason Payne vs. Pulsar vs. Eric "The Dragon" Davis

("Whiskey in a Jar” by Metallica cranks up on the PA system and Pulsar makes his way to the ring. The crowd erupts into cheers.)

TONY FATORA: This match is a one fall three-way match and is scheduled with a 15 minute time limit. Approaching the ring and hailing from Sydney, Australia...here is Pah Pah Pah PULLLSSSSSSAAAARRRRR!

DT: Fans this one should be great.

MN: Yeah, you gotta love a match featuring Outback Jack, right there. Tie me kangaroo down, sport.

DT: What?

MN: Exactly. Those frickin’ Aussies don’t make any sense. Or maybe they do and it that is just some sick fetish they hold for kangaroos. S & M with animals?

DT: You are terrible, Neely.

MN: Hey, just call ‘em like I see ‘em.

(“Dogs of War” by Pink Floyd pumps into the arena and the fans stand on their feet.)

TF: Hailing from Payneville, Kentucky...here is the DOG OF WAR...JASON PAAAAAYYYYNNNNEEEE!

(Payne looks all business as he heads to the ring.)

DT: Neely, are you familiar with this Payne kid? He is simply awesome. I saw him a few times in NFW and was psyched to hear that he signed with EPW!

MN: This kid should stay in NFW. I’m tired of EPW continually hiring crappy wrestlers. I saw Jason Payne in a Dog Collar Match years ago and this kid named McMillan made him a star. Without that victory, I’m sure we’d all be scratchin’ our heads about this Payne guy.

DT: He certainly looks impressive to me. I think he has a great future here.

MN: Anything looks impressive to you. Didn’t you tell me last week that you thought Bridgitte Neilson was hot?

DT: Yes sir. That Flavor Flav sure is one lucky man.

MN: You need to get your eyes checked, pal.

MN: Oh man, here it comes... I've been waiting for this moment for a long time.

DT: Ladies and gentlemen, up next we should see Eric Da...

[Just as Thomas is about to finish his sentence the lights in the arena dim to blackness. Several lighters flicker on in the crowd as a low buzz is heard through the audio equipment. On the video screen, a computer generated animation of the Earth as seen from space cues up. The globe rotates amidst the stars as the low vocals of "O Fortuna" cue up. The camera slowly zooms in towards the globe, revealing more of it's features. Then, without warning, a giant hand rises behind the earth, grasping ahold of it. The muscles in the hand tense up as "O fortuna" fades out and "Sandblasted Skin (Reprise)" by Pantera slams across the loud speakers. The globe shatters, allowing pieces of the cracked earth to fall through the fingers. The distinct sound of marching is heard along with the music as the video then shows a close up of boots hitting pavement in step. Almost hypnotically, thousands of feet march to the beat of the song, passing in and out of the frame within seconds. A deep, booming voice addresses the audience...]

Voice: BOW.... BEFORE YOUR MASTER.

[The lights come back up to reveal a stream of people pouring out from the backstage area. The first wave is a mob of fairly muscular men, all wearing black "Davis" track suits. About 20 or so of these individuals pour out of the entranceway to encircle the ring as the second wave follows. Right behind them is a group of insanely attractive top-heavy women sporting "Davis" attire. Engaging in a slight jog, these full-busted beauties make their way to the ring to herald in the greatness which follows.]

MN: Holy airtime-eater Batman...

DT: Davis sure does have a knack for long entrances, doesn't he? [The video on the screen continues to play through until it rests on a single frame. The audience laughs as an incredible reproduction of Michaelangelo's Creation of Adam is shown. The only difference is that instead of Adam reaching his hand up to receive the grace of God, it is Eric Davis who is seated on the clouds. Suddenly a beam of light shines down on the ring as Eric "The Dragon" Davis, the one and only master of disaster, the ruler of all that rules, descends from the rafters with his arms outstretched. His body is navigated through the beam by a set of cables, allowing him to come down into the middle of the ring without moving a single muscle. Some laughter is heard throughout the audience, but mostly "boo"s ensue. Davis finally makes it to the canvas and drops his arms, allowing his slaves to take the harness off of him. He tosses his hands in the air as the group kneels around him. Fireworks shoot out of the four ringposts and a cascading tide of sparks comes down from the rafters around the ring.]

DT: Will this ever end?

MN: I'm thoroughly entertained Dave, I don't know about you...

DT: The music finally stops and all three men are in the ring. Payne gets in Davis’ face and they are exchanging unpleasantries. Davis backs off and payne turns around to go to his corner. NO WAIT! Davis just double-axehandled Payne into the corner. Davis follows it up with a few punches to the kidney area.

MN: Yeah, fight dirty! I love it!

(Pulsar grabs Davis by his hair and pulls him off of Payne. Pulsar with a kick to the gut and follows it up with a kneelift. Davis hits the mat and Pulsar bounces off the ropes, then drops a corkscrew elbow onto Davis. Payne now to his feet, bounces off the ropes, and legdrops Davis.)

MN: This is totally unfair! They are double-teaming him! Ref, do something!

DT: This is all within the rules and regulations for this match. Everything we have seen is legal thus far.

MN: Someone needs to evaluate some of these rules. I am sure when Eric Davis signed for this match, he wasn’t expecting a lynching!

(Pulsar and Payne whip Davis into the ropes, Payne leans over and backbody drops Davis. Pulsar follows it up with a senton splash onto the Dragon. Davis is groveling in pain and rolls out to the floor. Pulsar walks over to Payne and pats him on the back for a job well done.)

MN: This is a setup! They’ve been in on it the whole time!

DT: Pulsar patting Payne on the back and WHAM! Out of nowhere, Payne delivers a vicious elbow to Pulsar’s face! That must be his lightning quick reflexes in action.

MN: Good, I’m glad these two have turned on each other. But look at Davis, he looks to be out of it on the floor. Call 911. Someone sends out the paramedics, the man needs some help!

DT: He’s a professional, he’ll be alright.

(Payne kicks a dazed Pulsar in the gut, bounces off the ropes, and hits the hunched over Pulsar with a scissors kick. Payne lifts him to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Payne bounces off the opposite side and goes for a clothesline. Pulsar ducks, bounces off the other side, ducks another clothesline attempt, and then hits Payne from behind with a spinning heel kick.)

DT: Oh my goodness! That looked to have taken a lot out of Pulsar. Both men sprawled out on the mat, Davis still licking his wounds on the floor, and the referee is laying down the count.

MN: I don’t think Davis can recover from the beatdown these two gave him earlier on. These men could have solved their problems in a civil, peaceful manner...but instead they turned to violence. That is what is wrong with society.

DT: What do you mean? Davis attacked Payne first.

MN: Oh yeah, forgot about that.

DT: Pulsar hops to his feet. It’s almost like he is catching a second wind.

(He lifts Payne to his feet and tosses him into the corner. Pulsar backs up and charges in, shoulder first. Payne sees him coming and drops to the canvas, sending Pulsar’s shoulder crashing into the ringpost. Payne shakes off the cobwebs and wraps Pulsar up in an armbar submission. Pulsar is holding strong, but seems to be in a lot of agony.)

DT: The referee is asking Pulsar is he wants to quit, but I doubt the “bloke” will.

MN: He should if he knows what’s good for him.

DT: Pulsar is a strong-minded individual. He’s going to...

MN: LOOK! LOOK! DAVIS IS ALIVE!

DT: He is alive and well, indeed. He climbs to the top rope and Payne has his back turned with Pulsar in that submission move.

DM: Pulsar is gonna tap! He's got his arm up -]

DT: HERE COMES DAVIS!

MN: Davis off the top with a dropkick to Payne! SUH-WEET!

DT: Payne was so focused on beatin Pulsar, that he forgot about Davis. He was caught completely off guard and got assaulted out of nowhere! Payne knocked out of the ring - Davis covers Pulsar! One! TWO! THREE! Eric Davis just STOLE this match from Jason Payne outright!

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]

TONY FATORA: Here is your winner... ERIIIIIIIIIIIC... DAAAAAAAAAAAVIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSS!!!

DT: Folks, Jason Payne just got robbed right here tonight. Pulsar was seconds away from tapping out when Eric Davis stole the fall from Payne red-handed.

DM: Hey, all's fair in love and war, Dave. Besides, Davis is my dogg. I'm down with the Phat D, bro.

MN: ...Phat D.

DM: Shut up. You don't have any room to talk.

DT: We'll be right back after this quick word from our sponsors!

[Cut to a political ad. 'Phantom Republican for President. Because powerbombs = good Christian family values!']

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Aggression zips backstage following the action to find Kenny Lombardo, microphone in hand, standing in front of a wall. Next to him - or, rather, towering over him - stands Dis, the leaner and taller Dis, with a stack of blue index cards and a black Sharpee marker in his gloved hands.
KL: Dis, on the last Aggression it certainly seemed to the viewing audience that you interrupted the Main Event to attack Cross. What's been on the mind of everyone this week is, why?

Dis stands silent, and shakes his head before taking the cap off the Sharpee marker. He scribbles something on one of the index cards and hands it to Lombardo. Kenny looks at the card and then to Dis, who merely motions Kenny to read.

KL: "Two does not make One." What is this supposed to mean? I don't...OH SH(BLEEP)!

Lombardo dives out of the way as Cross enters the scene, weilding a chair and aiming it for Dis's head. Dis moves at the last second, and the chair hits the wall with a CLANG!

C: You SON OF A B(BLEEP)TCH!

Cross swings again, and hits Dis squarely on the back. The masked man falls face-down to the ground, index cards scattering. He reaches for one and quickly writes something before turning over and blocking another chairshot aimed for his head. Dis holds the card up as Cross hatefully stares at him. He motions for Cross to read, and the former A1E champ coldly obliges.

C: "And so there were Two."

Dis nods, and blindly reaches for another card, scribbling something else and holding it up.

C: "Find the security tape to see the One dressed as me, but who is not Me."

Cross flicks the card down at Dis.

C: For your sake, freak, you'd better be right.

Cross limps away from the fallen Dis and the carnage. Dis watches him go, then crawls over to a nearby folding table and uses it to pull himself to his feet. He hobbles off down the hall, and the camera goes elsewhere.



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#1 Contendership - Intercontinental Championship
"Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin vs. Karl "The Dragon" Brown

[Cue up “Lose Yourself”]

DT: Guys, did you read into that what I did?

DM: So now there are two Dises running around here? Geez... guy's prolific. So what, we've got Dis and we've got Son of Dis.

DM: They be double-dissin'!

DT: Well, hopefully we'll find out more as the evening goes on. In any case, this match is for a shot at Sebastian Dodd and his Intercontinental Championship. Here comes “Yours Truly” Adam Benjamin.

DM: It’s funny, Benjamin went from fighting for the World Title, and now he’s just fighting for a shot at the Intercontinental Championship. What’s gonna happen if he loses this, top seeding in the Television Title Tournament or whatever the hell Ryan’s got in store for that?

MN: Hey, you shut up about Benjamin. He can beat Big Loafy whenever he wants. He’s just doing his own thing.

DM: No, I think it’s because he got beat by Dis that he’s here.

DT: Well, regardless, he’s got a focus on that Intercontinental Title.

DM: He’s also got a new hobo friend. I’m surprised he’s not here at ringside. Maybe security threw him out thinking he was a regular bum and not one of Benji’s Bum Buddies.

[Cue up “Rainmaker”]

DT: And here comes Karl “The Dragon” Brown.

DM: Fresh off a win last week and a third place finish in that Natural Selection tournament. He’s been a little hot lately.

MN: Bah, who cares about outside tournaments.

DM: Well generally, we here at Empire Pro want to promote when our wrestlers do well in the squared circle.

MN: Well, he should have finished first.

DM: Oh yeah? I’d like to see you enter a tournament of that size in broadcasting and finish first.

MN: I can. I just choose not to.

DT: Alright, Brown and Benjamin are in the ring, these two men have faced off twice before, once in an Empire ring. Benjamin has won both.

DM: Karl Brown’s due though.

MN: Bah, there’s no such thing as due. Only domination counts. And Big Daddy English has dominated Karl Brown.

[SFX: Ring bell]

DT: Alright, the match starts and Benjamin and Brown lock up, collar and elbow tie up. Benjamin with the early advantage, headlock. Brown shoves him off the ropes, rebound and BIG DADDY ENGLISH WITH THE LARIAT.

DM: LARIATO!

MN: Big Daddy English always comes through.

DT: Great opening move for the former Intercontinental Champion. Brown gets up holding his chin and BENJAMIN IS RELENTLESS! Bulldog headlock!

MN: He’s got the heart of a Champion, a heart big enough for him and his new friend, Mr. Biggs!

DM: Oh please, he’s getting off to a good start, but the match has barely begun.

DT: Benjamin is up and he grabs the Dragon. Goes to the rear, stiff back drop... Benji covers...

...one...

...two...

...no! Karl Brown kicks out.

DM: Benji’s coming out with fire. I think he realizes his career is skidding, he needs a jolt quick.

MN: Skidding? Bah, your career’s the one that’s skidding. Big Daddy English is in for a big year in 2005!

DT: And he’s going back to work on Brown, stomp to the chest, and another. Benjamin now sitting Brown up and...

DM: It’s up, it’s gooood!

DT: What a kick to the back of Brown! Benjamin turns him over and has him in a camel clutch!

DM: Good strategy by the limey.

MN: That’s not a nice thing to call him.

DM: It’s about as nice as you calling Beast Big Loafy.

MN: He deserves it though.

DT: Benjamin with the camel clutch. Brown looks like he’s in a bit of pain there.

DM: Well yeah, that move does hurt.

DT: Duh Dean.

DM: Hey they pay you to call the moves, not show personality.

DT: Well, umm... hey! Back to the action in the ring, Benjamin’s broken the hold and is stomping on Brown’s back. He picks the Dragon up, and falling back drop, this time with a bridge....

...one...

...two...

...but Brown kicks out again!

MN: Adam Benjamin, showing why he’s the best technical wrestler in Empire Pro today!

DM: Well, that and 99 cents will get you a fresh, delicious cup of coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts.

MN: What the hell... you got that endorsement deal too?

DM: What can I say, Dean-o equals ratings-o!

DT: Back to the match at hand, Benjamin’s got Brown up... roundhouse kick that’s CAUGHT by the Dragon. Benji going for the enziguiri, but the Dragon DUCKS! Karl Brown falling forward, transitioning into the Achilles lock!

DM: Solid technical wrestling by Karl Brown here.

MN: Yeah, but is he good enough to be able to get a cup of coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts like Big Daddy English? HOMEY DON’T THINK SO!

DM: Neels, you’ve gone off the deep end.

DT: Benjamin gets to the ropes and Karl Brown breaks the hold. Both men are up, but Brown right away takes Benjamin down the canvas with a side Russian leg sweep. He covers...

...one...

...two...

...but Benjamin kicks out.

MN: It’s gonna take a lot more to put away Big Daddy English. He’s one bad ass mother...

DT: FAMILY SHOW!

MN: ...trucker!

DT: Brown back up, Benjamin slowly to follow... Benjamin charges in but Brown’s right there waiting for him, swinging neckbreaker! Brown grabs Benji from the canvas and goes behind... BRIDGING DRAGONPLEX!

...one...

...two...

...but Benji kicks out again!

DM: Well, Big Daddy English started strong, but he went and pulled a Vikings on us here.

MN: Hey, hey, hey, the Vikings won their playoff game, chump.

DM: The point stands regardless...

DT: ...don’t look now, but Karl Brown’s ascending the ropes. He’s waiting Benjamin to get to his feet, he does... Brown leaps, flips.. DRAGONRA... NO! Benjamin blocked it into a sitdown powerbomb! Cover...

...one...

...two...

...thr... NO! Brown kicks out!

DM: What a counter!

MN: I told you Benjamin was the mack daddy!

DM: Well he hasn’t won yet!

DT: No he hasn’t but he might now, as he’s signaling for the Benjamin Driver... headscissors, but no! Brown countering with the back body flip! Both men are up, Benjamin with the right, but blocked by Brown! Counter with a jab, another jab, right cross! Benjamin’s down!

MN: Closed fist! Disqualify him!

DM: This coming from the guy who’s singing the praises of an Intercontinental Champion who won with a low blow...

MN: Hey, technically, he won with the D-O-DDT!

DT: Benjamin back up, charging into Brown, but Karl Brown uses his momentum against him... sends him chest first into the turnbuckles! Benjamin stumbles back.. Brown with the dragon sleeper and... DRAGON’S BITE! DRAGON’S BITE! THIS ONE MIGHT BE OVER...

...one...

...two...

...three!!!!

TONY FATORA: Here is your winner, and new number one contender to the Intercontinental Championship... KARL “THE DRAGON” BROWN!



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DT: It's been a long time coming, but Karl Brown finally gets that elusive win over Adam Benja HEY WHAT THE HECK?

[The fans boo suddenly as Eric Davis leaps out of the crowd, carrying a large wooden baseball bat in both hands. The former GXW Cruiserweight Champion vaults into the ring - and promptly clobbers Karl Brown in the gut with the bat!]

DT: WHAT THE HELL! ERIC DAVIS IS ATTACKING KARL BROWN FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!!

DM: MY DAWG!!! LAY DOWN THE LAW!!!

DT: DAVIS JUST LAYING INTO BROWN WITH THAT BASEBALL BAT! CHOPPING AND WHACKING AWAY AT HIS RIBS AND UPPER BACK! BROWN IS JUST TWITCHING LIKE CRAZY!

MN: BUT WHY!?

DM: Because Davis is the MAN! WOO! GO DOGG GO! WOOOOOO!

DT: Dammit, this is just wrong! Davis now with the microphone...

Davis: Just when you thought it was safe to be a poser.... Eric Davis comes along to set the record straight! Karl... you're a no talent hack and you've got something that belongs to me.

DT: What the hell is Davis talking about? Karl Brown has never even met Davis before...

MN: I don't know what it is... but I'm sure he's got a point.

Davis: Do you honestly think you've got what it takes to sport that little moniker of yours, Karl? You parade around here calling yourself the Dragon, but who are YOU, little man? Who are you to take the name of the greatest superstar this sport has ever known??? I am the dragon... and I always will be. But I WILL give you a chance, Karl. At the pay per view... you face me in a match.

[Davis takes his boot and kicks at Karl's ribs to get his attention. The downed Brown begins to stir.]

Davis: The WINNER of this match gets to keep the name of "The Dragon". YOU, on the other hand, have to relinquish it. And I don't really care if you accept the challenge, Karl, because just like your mother, it's going down either way. Cowboy up, partner.

[With that, Davis throws the microphone down at Brown and steps through the ropes. He makes his way to the back amidst a sea of boos.]

[Cut to a commercial for Burger Sultan...]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

DT: Welcome back, everyone. Just to give you an update on the condition of Karl Brown, during the break he was loaded into an ambulance and transported to a medical center here in Austin. The medics on staff here at the Frank Erwin Centre tell us he's in pain, but should recover nicely.
MN: THis is the Hardcore Dragon, man. He's resilient as anything! He's a tank! He'll suck it up and come back fighting!

DM: Yeah, but he'll be walking out of Russian Roulette without his little dragonboy moniker! My main man Eric Davis in da HIZOUSE!

DT: *sigh*



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The cheering crowd is heard as Cross steps into his locker room with the tape of last week's Aggression. He pops it into the VCR and presses play.

Cross: Now, let's see if the freak is telling me the truth.

There is a knock on the door.

Damn!

Cross presses pause and turns to face the door. Obviously, now he's really pissed off.

The match isn't up yet. Can't you read the sign?! DO NOT DISTURB!

Voice: Well if you're gonna get all uppity about the interruption, Xandor, I won't ask how your knee is.

The door slowly swing open and Lindsay Troy slides into the room, wearing jeans and an "I Survived the Fury of Matt Haas" T-shirt. She leans back against the wall and lets the door close on its own.

Cross: Lindsay! I'm sorry. I thought it was the producer.

Cross smiles as he sees his friend leaning on the wall.

Make yourself at home...like usual.

Troy holds up her hand and waves him off.

Troy: I'm afraid I'll have to pass. I just came to see how your knee was feeling. You took quite the shot last show.

Cross: I really haven't had it throughly checked. Probably hanging on by a thread. Had Scourge check it out now that he's a physical therapist. He says I should stop and recover. But you know me.

I'm going to kill Dis unless this tape proves otherwise.

Anyway, what do you know about this masked guy? What pocket of hell did he escape from?

Troy: I didn't know Scourge went straight. (She smirks) Well, good for him. I know he and I didn't always see things the same but it's good to know that he's doing well for himself. But as far as Dis goes (She shrugs) I know just about as much as the rest of the roster: nothing. Dan's been tight-lipped about the whole thing and we're about as close as you and I.

Cross: I don't see why this guy would show up and then pick a fight with me. He "says" there are two. This tape will show if he's on the level or if he's signed his death warrant.

If it turns out that there is only one, the shedding of the mask will be the least of his worries.

Troy: (in a Texas drawl, starts fanning herself) Whooo LAWDY. Settle down now boy, you keep gettin fired up and I'm gonna start sweatin. (Grin) Play the tape and let's see what he has to say.

Cross turns his attention to the TV. He presses play on the remote and we are taken back to the events of Dis attacking Cross.

Cross: All I see is one crazy masked man beating the hell out of my knee. He is a dead man!

Cross turns around and watches footage from after the match when he is being helped by Beast to the back.

Wait a second! Lindz, check this out!

Cross pauses the video and it shows another masked figure in the background.

What the hell?

Troy: Looks like the masked little upstart was right after all.

Cross rewinds the tape to the attack. He looks closely at the Dis who attacked him. He then fast forwards to the post match footage and looks closely at this Dis.

Cross: Damn! There are two. If the Dis that attacked me isn't the real Dis, then who the hell has the deathwish?

Cross grows serious and give Lindsay perplexed look.

Troy: Maybe it's Thalia wearing a body-suit. Shades of A1E all over again.

Cross shakes his head.

Cross: No...she doesn't have time for this. She's getting married, you know. It's someone else. Just don't know who. I'm practically new to EPW.

Troy: Whoa whoa whoa...back up a second. Say that again? You and Thalia ... are over?

Cross: Yeah, we called it off after Uncle X died. Just grew too far apart. I wanted to go to Mexico and she said we either worked it out or I could leave, but she would be gone.

I left. She left.

She's made good with her life and her portion of the inheritance Xandor left. Met someone, fell in love, and is getting married. Of course, Raquel told me all of this.

Troy was silent. She looked down at the floor and scuffed the carpet with her shoe.

Troy: Y'know, despite everything that went on between you and I and things that may or may not have been said...I really thought you two would have made it. Even after everything that happened with Uncle X...I thought. (She paused) I don't know what I thought. All I know is that I'm sorry, Xandor. You deserve to be happy in your personal life, as well as in your professional life. I just hope that, one day, you'll get both.

Cross: Thanks, Lindz. I do what I have to do. If the special someone is out there, I'll find her. You never know. She might just find me.

But until then, I deal with what's important...and that is finding who this other Dis is and making his life a living hell.

Troy: (smiling faintly) Now that's the persistent Xandor Cross that I know and thought ill of for half a year. In any event, I do need to be going...I've got a rather surly Canadian to accompany to the ring tonight.

Cross: Yeah, good luck out there. Be careful.

Troy: Aren't I always?

With a smirk and a wave, she exited the room. Cross goes back to watching the tape of the attack. He notices the painful grimace on his face then looks down at his bandaged knee.

Cross: Whoever you are, you have just opened the gates of hell...

...and you've screwed with the wrong reaper.



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[Open on a hallway inside the American Airlines Center. EPW reporter KENNY LOMBARDO runs furiously down the hallway, attempting to pull on his navy suit jacket as he goes. Out of nowhere comes a much larger man, TROY DOUGLAS, wearing his tan leather jacket over a t-shirt and jeans. Lombardo runs past Douglas, but Douglas follows after him.]

DOUGLAS: Kenny! KENNY!!! Hold up!

LOMBARDO: What is it, Troy?

DOUGLAS: You checking in with Ryan?

LOMBARDO: Yeah, I’m running really late. Cab hit a ton of traffic on the way to the building. If I don’t get to Ryan’s office in the next five minutes for my assignments, he’s gonna have my ass on a platter.

DOUGLAS: Don’t worry, I won’t hold you up. Just, do me a favor and give him these when you see him.

[Douglas produces a manila envelope from his inside jacket pocket, sealed with glue, and marked with: “FOR THE EYES OF DAN RYAN ONLY” on the front in large, black letters. He hands the envelope to Lombardo, who takes it gingerly.]

LOMBARDO: What, another lawsuit?

DOUGLAS: Not this time, Kenny. Not this time. However, I do think our esteemed owner will be interested with what’s inside. Promise me you’ll deliver this?

LOMBARDO: No problem, Troy.

DOUGLAS: Oh, and Kenny? I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell him who the package was from. We don’t want Danny’s judgment to be clouded because his “non-committed” employee is involved.

LOMBARDO: Got it. Good luck tonight, Troy.

[Lombardo hurries off down the hall, envelope tucked under his right arm. The camera stays with Douglas, who walks off in the other direction.]

DOUGLAS: I don’t need luck tonight, Kenny. Everything is already in motion.

[Fade.]



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DT: Looks like both Cross and Troy Douglas are on the warpath here tonight. Guys, is this whole Dis thing starting to make you really curious?

DM: Hell yeah, Dave Thomas. I wanna know what's up. I wanna know who's behind those masks.

MN: I haven't heard a peep as to who it could be!

DM: Maybe it isn't anyone else... I asked Bolich at Talent Relations and all he said was, 'Dis is Dis.' But then how do you explain the second Dis?

DT: I have no idea... hey, look over at the stage!

[Cut to the stage - specifically to Empire Girl Tiffany's cage. The girl is pressed up against the far bars, squirming to try to avoid a pair of massive groping hands - they belong to a suit-clad Ivan Dalkichev, standing there leering. Erik Black is egging him on.]

DT: I can't believe this. Big Russian Love wants to get his hands on an Empire Girl.

MN: I'd wanna get my hands on Tiff too!

DM: Hey, that's MY Tiffany-

[CUE UP: "Zero" - Smashing Pumpkins as the crowd EXPLODES into a tumultuous roar. A scowl adorns Dan Ryan's face as he plods slowly out onto the stage, staring dead ahead at Dalkichev... who slowly draws his arms out of the cage.]

RYAN: Miiiiiister Dalkichev. You have five seconds to explain yourself.

[Blinking, Dalkichev stumps over to Ryan's mic...]

DALKICHEV: ...Want to give tiny woman BIG RUSSIAN LOVE!!!

[HUGE mixed reaction.]

RYAN: Hm. I see. You know, I COULD press sexual harassment charges on her behalf against you... but this is entertainment. So you're off the hook.

HOWEVER.

We all know that we hired the Empire Girls as T&A fodder... they're there for the testosterone soaked teenage boys at home to enjoy. And believe me, 'Big Russian Love', if I were a 16-year-old kid and I closed MY eyes and saw a beautiful woman like that in bed with a moose like you, I'd never... EEEEEEEVERRRRRRR... get wood again.

Pack your ****, you're both OUT OF HERE!

[The crowd ROARS a loud approval as Ivan and Erik start in shock, staring at Ryan, then at each other. Ryan points to the curtain with a grin. Finally the Crimson Calling members slink to the back like wounded puppies even as we cut to a commercial for EPW Aggression II for Playstation 2.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

[Open on Dave Thomas, Mike Neely, and Dean Matthews at the broadcast location on the main floor of the arena. Inside the ring, wearing street clothes, is JOHN DOE, who is getting an “Indiana Pacers” treatment from the fans, with food, drink, and general debris being thrown at him from the boisterously booing crowd.]
DT: Well, folks, it looks as if we’re being joined by John Doe in the ring right now, and these fans are really letting him have it after what he did to Troy Douglas last week. However, Douglas will have his chance at revenge at Russian Roulette, because as Doe announced last week, he and his former mentor will meet in Houston in an inferno match.

DM: John may have bitten off just a little more than he can chew with this one. Douglas was GWE’s only multi-time X-treme Champion, and though Doe’s a firestarter himself, Douglas became famous wrestling in matches like this, starting in his indy career.

MN: Hey, Dough-boy’s smarter than I thought. He pulled the wool over Megatron’s eyes for weeks, and now these idiots DON’T like him? I’ll never understand the public.

DT: Certainly not, Michael. Let’s see what the kid has to say.

[Cut to a shot of Doe in the middle of the ring, microphone in his left hand, his right hand giving the crowd the middle finger. He yells incoherently at several of the booing fans.]

DOE: Shut up, all of you! I SAID SHUT THE **BLEEEEEEEEEEP** UP!!!! I’m tryin’ to make a god damn point here!

Two weeks ago, I came out and showed you all what a damn fool Troy Douglas is. I gave that selfish bastard a look at what’s going to happen in Houston. I beat that little ***** ‘til he bled, and there’s nothing he can do about it. Nothing! Do you hear me, Douglas? NOT...A...GOD...DAMNED...**BLEEEEEEEP**ING...THING!!!! Got it?

VOICE: John, John, John. I think your being a little harsh. I taught you better than that, kid.

[Camera cuts to the EmpireTron, where Troy Douglas sits in his locker room, smiling.]

DOE: Get that damn arrogant smirk off your face, Douglas! Your addressing your better right now! You should be on your damn knees after what I did to you!

DOUGLAS: John, do the nice people a favor and SHUT YOUR DAMN FACE.

[Crowd explodes with cheers.]

DOUGLAS: I congratulate you, John. You got one over on me in Tulsa. Didn’t see it coming, because I thought I could trust you. I actually thought you were beginning to understand what I was trying to help you out with. I was just too damn blind and stupid to see what was going on.

DOE: That’s damn right, Troy! You never knew what was going to-

DOUGLAS: I told you to be QUIET, you snot-nosed little twit. I’m TRYING to make a point here. You see, kid, you came out to that ring two weeks ago and you kicked my ass. You said I never helped you, that I wouldn’t let you come out to my matches, that I didn’t accompany you when you went out and got your fluke win against Benji or when the Dragon handed you your own ass. You said that I didn’t give a damn about you or anybody but myself.

You stupid, arrogant little PRICK.

ALL I cared about was helping you. But, I wasn’t going to do it for you, John. I didn’t want you to be my damn clone. I wanted you to come into your own, to understand who YOU are and what YOU should do. You wanted the easy way out, John. You wanted to steal who I was, and then take my place. You didn’t listen to a damn thing I said, kid, you just wanted all the glory without any of the effort.

Then, you decided that if you could beat me, you could justify it all. So, you went to Ryan, and you got an Inferno Match signed between the two of us. Good move, John. Real “smart” on your part, that one was. Put an extremely angry man with nothing to lose, like myself, in the ring with a blind, egotistic moron, and then throw some fire into the situation.

You just signed your own freaking death warrant.

Oh, and if you want a preview, turn around, you little **BLEEEP**.

[Cut back to the ring, where Douglas stands right behind Doe, a smirk on the Carolinian’s face. He taps Doe on the shoulder, and Doe turns 180 degrees, an incredulous look on his face.]

DT: Douglas was on tape! He’s here in the ring right now!

MN: Duh, we can see that, Burgerboy.

DT: Doe is backing away, pleading for mercy! Douglas backs off and...DOE COMES FLYING AT HIM WITH A PUNCH!!! That little bastard just signed his own death sentence!

DM: That. Was. A. Stupid. Plan.

DT: Douglas comes out from the corner. Doe charges...HUGE CLOTHESLINE BY DOUGLAS!!!! He picks Doe up, irish whips him into the corner...HORNET SPLASH!!!! Douglas goes old-school with a tribute to his hero! He measures Doe up, and NAILS him with a right, then a left, another right hand! Troy Douglas is just wailing away on John Doe! He picks up the limp Doe, goes to the second rope!

DM: Yup, I was right. Doe made a BAD decision with this fight.

DT: Douglas underhooks...END OF THE ROAD!!! He planted him with it!

[Douglas turns Doe onto his back, then picks up the discarded microphone.]

DOUGLAS: That was just “check”, kid. Come Russian Roulette in Houston, you’ll find out just how bad “checkmate” is. Told ya it was a bad idea not to listen to me. There are more surprises to come, John, many more.

[CUE UP: “Kashmir” Led Zeppelin, as Douglas tosses the mic on the prone man’s chest, wipes off his jacket, and walks back up the ramp.]



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Cross vs. Steve Savoy

TONY FATORA: Th' following contest is set for one fall

[CUE UP: "'Til I Collapse" by Eminem. Cross steps from behind the curtains, and heads straight for the ring, ignoring the calls of some of the fans for high-fives and other gratuities. His eyes are deeply focused as he steps through the ropes, flexing his leg]

TONY FATORA: Weighing in at two hundred and eighty five pounds, and hailing from Los Angeles, California... CCCCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

DT: You've got to wonder what state Cross' knee is going to be in as he goes up against a man who's certainly no slouch in the ring in Steve Savoy.

[CUE UP: "Watching the Wheels" by John Lennon. Steve Savoy walks out to a mixed reaction, playing it up to the fans on his way to the ring. ]

TONY FATORA: His opponent, weighing in at two hundred and twenty six pounds, he hails from Orlando, Florida... SSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEE...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

DT: These men have met before, and it was Savoy, then wrestling as 'The Phenom' Shawn Hart who came out on top. If the war of words these two had leading up to tonight is anything to go by, this should be an explosive match. Savoy with some trash talking, and Cross is taking exception, opening up with a barrage of right hands.

DM: Looking at Cross in the back earlier and on his way to the ring he looked to be favouring his knee, so this is what I'd expect. He'll look to end this match as early as possible, and the shortarm clothesline there is a good move to use in that case, not using too much of your own energy to pull it off.

DT: Cross picking Savoy up quickly, and he slams him down hard, stomping away now as Savoy tries to cover up. Cross is normally intense but I don't think Savoy expected this level of intensity.

MN: It's wounded animal syndrome. Back one into the corner and they come out knowing they have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

DT: Savoy rolls over to the ropes, dropping to the outside as referee Bryan Weatherby holds Cross back. The fans getting behind Cross here, who's yelling at Savoy to get back into the ring.

DM: This is smart from Savoy. It throws Cross off his rhythm and gives Savoy a chance to rethink his strategy.

DT: Savoy getting back into the ring, but gets taken down hard with a clothesline there. Cross now picking up the smaller man, and I can't believe the intensity here. A hard Irish whip into the corner and Cross has Savoy at his mercy here in the early going.

MN: Not very Christian work from Cross, but it's effective. Big splash from the bigger man, followed up with a snap suplex there.

DM: Savoy's holding his back, trying to get away from Cross by backing across the ring. A hard shot there from Cross, knocking Savoy back down.

DT: Nice shot there, elbow to the gut as Cross bent down to pick the smaller man up. Savoy now taking Cross down and punching the knee like an animal, trying to slow him down. A hard stomp, and a knee drop into a leg lock, and Cross really looks in pain there.

DM: It looks like Savoy might've been playing Cross, looking for an opening before taking advantage of it. That leg-lock's going to take a lot out of Cross and may even make him submit if it's held on long enough. I can tell you from experience that knee injuries can take a long time to recover from. Sometimes you never do.

DT: Savoy stretching the knee there, as Cross tries to kick him off.

DM: Notice how Steve's now turning Cross over? Locking both legs like that in almost a figure four with Cross on his belly, placing his own leg in between now. Very painful move.

MN: Ouch. Dropping back like that just adds to it, huh?

DT: If Cross can't mount some form of offence soon, it may be all she wrote. Cross trying to fight his way to the ropes.

DM: That's about the only way he'll be able to break this hold, as Savoy's got both his legs trapped and he's just applying more and more pressure.

DT: Cross inching to the ropes... he makes it, but the damage has to have taken it's toll. We're not too far into this match and already Savoy has a huge advantage.

DM: And he'll look to use it. A quick kick to the gut and russian leg sweep takes Cross back down, and Savoy's straight back onto that knee, but Cross manages to free himself by going to the ropes again. The ref's forcing the break, making Savoy stay back as Cross gets up. It's fair on Cross, but it breaks down Savoy's rhythm, which has been incredibly focused on the knee.

DT: Savoy now charging in, and he's had enough stalling from the ref... back body drop to the outside!! Cross with a beautiful counter there, buying himself some time as Savoy went crashing back first onto the padding surrounding the ring.

DM: Cross doing the wise thing, not giving Savoy too long to recover. As hurt as he is Cross knows he can't let up on Savoy for a second. A back suplex there, and Savoy's folded up near the steps.

MN: Definitely un-Christian.

DT: I think faith is the last thing on Cross' mind, as he rolls Savoy back into the ring. Cross now with a swinging neckbreaker to Savoy, holding the knee as he gets to his feet.

DM: Cross still on the offensive though, taking Savoy down with a belly to belly suplex. Cover and a quick kick out. Cross might have to break out something big to put Savoy away, and it’ll have to be soon to take away any opportunity for Savoy to do further damage to the knee.

DT: Cross now sends Savoy into the corner, following up with a clothesline. Savoy looks in trouble here as Cross whips him across the ring again. Reversal there by Savoy, who charges in with a splash. Savoy mounting the corner, punching away on Cross. Four, five... six...

MN: He can still count, folks.

DT: Eight... nine... and Cross gets his hand in the way, pushing Savoy back down. Back and forth action here from both these amazing competitors. Cross is stalking the smaller man, who tries fighting back with a right hand, blocked by Cross. Kick to the gut... GOLGOTHA!! HE’S SETTING HIM UP FOR GOLGOTHA!!

DM: NO!! HIS KNEE BUCKLED AS HE STARTED LIFTING HIM!!

MN: Savoy on top, hooking the leg.

DT: One...

Two...

THREE!!! Steve Savoy picks up the victory after Cross’ knee just gave out on him!!!

TONY FATORA: Th’ winner of the match, SSSSSTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVEEEEE... SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYY!!!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DT: What an unlucky break for Cross! It looked like he was going to put Savoy away, but in the end the bad knee just caught up with him.

DM: Don't take anything away from either guy here, Dave Thomas. Cross is easily a main event contender and Savoy is likewise. This could've ended differently if Cross were a hundred percent... or maybe not.

MN: FLIP-FLOPPER!

DM: Bad Mike! No biscuit!

MN: Meep-

[Cut to the ramp. As Cross pads hobblingly towards the curtain, it suddenly parts... revealing Dis, who stares blankly down at Cross. The two men stare at each other.]

DT: Uh-oh.

DM: This is bad.

DT: Dis moving a little closer to Cross... Cross is on his guard, but he's clearly in no condition to fight off an attack with his knee in this kind of shape...

MN: Is Dis gonna hit him?!

DM: Dis is gonna kill him.

MN: Literally?!

DM: No, dumbass -

DT: DIS COCKING HIS FIST -

[CROWD: *ROARS AND CHEERS DEAFENINGLY!!!*]

DT: AND LINDSAY TROY COMES FLYING THROUGH THE CURTAIN! SPINS DIS AROUND! JAB TO THE FACE! ANOTHER! DIS SLUGS HER BACK! TROY CLOCKS DIS IN THE FACE! DIS! TROY! IT'S AN ALL-OUT SLUGFEST BETWEEN DIS AND LINDSAY TROY!!!

DM: TROY! What a woman, coming out to make sure Dis didn't jump her friend!

MN: KILL HIM, LINDSAY! KILL HIM!

DT: TROY TACKLES DIS TO THE RAMP AND HAMMERS AWAY AT HIM - NOW TRYING TO PULL OF THE MASK! NO - DIS LEVERS HER OFF! THEY'RE BOTH UP AND HAMMERING AWAY!

MN: Cross is just STANDING THERE!

DT: I don't think Cross knows what to think of all this - BUT TROY'S JUST KICKED DIS IN THE GUT!!! SETTING UP FOR THE FINAL JUDGMENT - DIS SLIPS OUT, DUCKS BETWEEN HER LEGS, AND ESCAPES THROUGH THE CROWD!

DM: Look at him go!

[Cut to a shot of Dis fleeing among the fans, then a shot of Troy's face; she mouths the words, 'This isn't over.' Cut then to a commercial for Rightwing Nutjob brand mixed nuts, endorsed by the United States government.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Cameron Cruise & Troy Douglas vs. "The Messiah" Sebastian Dodd & John Doe

[Cue up “Hypocritical”]

DT: Well, that’s John Doe’s theme song, but I don’t see him anywhere.

DM: Maybe he’s a bit, I don’t know scared of Troy Douglas?

MN: Are you serious Matthews? Douglas barely showed up. I’m thinking maybe Doe’s going to descend from the ceiling like Davis did. He is God, you know.

DM: Oh, don’t start with that crap again. You remember last time you referred to someone as God?

MN: It was faulty electricity in my headset. Besides, this is the most godly tag team ever. The Messiah and God himself.

[Cue up “Stellar”]

DT: Well, speaking of Messiahs, here comes Sebastian Dodd with his Intercontinental Championship title belt.

MN: Finally, we have the belt in the hands of a worthy Champion!

DM: Yeah, because I really want my Intercontinental Champion to have won his belt through fraudulence and cheating.

MN: Didn’t you hear the holy gospel coming out of his mouth? He who lives by the chair dies by the chair! JA won the title only because of a chairshot...

DM: Delivered by Sebastian Dodd I might add, a shot that JA didn’t even want Dodd to deliver. Seriously, I’m beginning to wonder if you ate paint chips as a child.

MN: Nope, just paste.

[Cue up “Headstrong”]

DT: Well, here’s former Empire Tag Team co-Champion Cameron Cruise... AND JOHN DOE JUST LEAPT OVER THE GUARDRAIL AND ASSAULTED HIM!

MN: That’s where Doe was! Brilliant! God-like, I may say...

DM: If there was any justice in the world, you’d get zapped right about now.

DT: Doe just slugging a still reeling Cruise, he’s been caught totally off-guard.

[Cue up “Kashmir”]

DM: Well this ought to even things out a bit.

DT: It should, Douglas running down and... DOE JUST COLD COCKED HIM!

MN: Doe be pr...

[ZAP]

MN: What the hell!

DM: See?

DT: Doe turning back to Cruise and Cameron Cruise with the hard right to Doe, and another right and a DDT TO THE OUTSIDE FLOOR!

DM: What impact... that’s what Joey Melton sees in this kid.

DT: Well, Melton is a shrewd veteran and has seen a lot... now Cruise is dragging Doe and tosses him into the ring.

[SFX: Bell rings]

DT: And now the match will start. Douglas heading to the ring after getting his bell rung too. Cruise has Doe up, chop to the chest,

CROWD: WOOO!

DT: ... and another chop...

CROWD: WOOO!

DT: ...and another chop!

CROWD: WOOO!

DM: What impact by Cameron Cruise...

MN: Bah, it barely fazes Go...

[ZAP]

MN: Jesus, I thought they fixed that problem!

DM: Heh...

DT: Doe’s grabbing his chest and Cruise grabs his arm, Irish whip, Cruise with the clothesline, but Doe ducks it, rebound, Cruise turns around and FLYING CROSS CHOP by John Doe! Cruise to the canvas. Doe pops up and...

MN: Ah yes, job well done!

DM: No it’s not! He should be covering or following up, not gloating to the crowd or trying to out ego his tag team partner.

MN: Hey, Sebastian Dodd deserves the ego he has! He’s the Eye-See Champ, and he totally dominated JA!

DM: Excuse me while I throw up my filling, great tasting Taco Bell Big Bell Menu lunch which is not from how good the food is, but from how vile you are.

MN: Wow, someone get a new endorsement deal?

DM: How good of you to notice.

DT: Well, while you two were being children again, John Doe just tagged in Sebastian Dodd and Dodd’s grappling with Cruise now.

DM: You’re just bitter that your only endorsement is with Surge.

DT: STOP IT! I told you I don’t like being compared to Tony Schi... WHOA! Cruise just planted Dodd with a Northern Lights suplex...

...one...

...two... but the Intercontinental Champion kicks out.

DM: That should bring the Doddler down to Earth a bit.

MN: Nonsense. No one’s perfect, Dodd’ll bounce back and cream this loser.

DM: Hey, I thought you said Dodd was the Messiah. The Messiah’s supposed to be perfect.

MN: Yeah, well... shut up.

DT: Dodd’s up and a bit shaken. Cruise rushes in with a clothesline, but Dodd ducks and counters with a hangman’s neckbreaker! Dodd bounces off the ropes and... what’s that? Doe just slapped him on the back!

DM: Blind tag! Doe wants back at Cruise. They’ve had some hostilities all around the wrestling world, and right about now, I think Cruise may be higher on Doe’s hitlist than Troy Douglas is.

DT: Well Dodd doesn’t seem to be too thrilled with it and he’s talking to Doe. But here comes Cruise and he just knocked Dodd right into Doe!

DM: Smart move by Cruise.

DT: I agree, Cruise scoops up Doe and... shoulderbreaker! Cruise over to the corner and he tags in Troy Douglas for the first time in this match. Douglas goes over to Doe and... DOE JUST ROLLED UP DOUGLAS IN A SMALL PACKAGE AS HE WAS PICKING HIM UP...

...one...

...two...

...but Douglas kicks out! That was close, almost a flash pin!

MN: Well, maybe Douglas should get his head more in the game.

DT: Both men get up and Doe just unloads on Douglas. Douglas hits back, Doe again, Douglas again... these men are trading blows here. Douglas with another punch, but Doe ducks.... backslide...

...one...

...two...

...but Douglas kicks out again! Doe almost got two flash pins on Douglas here.

DM: Man, Douglas really needs to get his head in the game here.

MN: I agree. Man, hell must be freezing over, either that, or the forces of Dodd and Doe have benevolently given you divine wisd...

[ZAP]

MN: OUCH!

DT: Doe gets Douglas to his knees and... BIG BUZZSAW KICK! Douglas slumps down and Doe turns him over to cover...

...one...

...two...

...no! Douglas kicks out again!

DM: This match could be over before it really begins.

DT: Maybe, and Doe’s going to try it. He’s signaling for the Amnesia Attack... whip off the ropes, Doe’s running, and...

DM: Blind tag again, this time Cruise on Douglas!

DT: But that’s not going to save him... DOE JUST NAILED TROY DOUGLAS WITH THE AMNESIA ATTACK... BUT LEGAL MAN CRUISE JUST HIT DOE WITH A FLIPOVER NECKBREAKER! Cruise covers...

...one...

...Doe kicks out after one!

DM: Cameron Cruise just saved his team right there.

MN: He won’t be able to save them from the combined godlike powers of...

[ZAP]

MN: AH! You didn’t know what I was going to say!

DM: You act as if I’m the one zapping you, Neels.

DT: Cruise picks Doe back up and, DOE WITH THE JAWBREAKER! He reels back and tags in the Intercontinental Champion!

MN: Dodd bless you all...

[ZAP]

MN: OH THE AGONY!

DM: I’m telling you, don’t screw with the Big Guy upstairs.

MN: What, you mean someone saved JA’s Buddy Christ statue?

DT: Back to the action, Dodd grabs a still stunned Cruise and... vertical suplex. Dodd goes back to the canvas and locks in a figure four.

DM: Shades of Joey Melton and Ric Flair here.

MN: Only neither guy is in Dodd’s league.

DM: Yeah, right. And what are you getting on Melton for. You know you’ll be rooting for him tonight against Beast.

MN: Well yeah, but that’s because Big Loafy is the greatest of all evils here.

DT: Dodd’s got that move locked in tight, but Cruise turns over! Cameron Cruise has reversed the hold!

DM: If Doddler were so godlike, he’d just release the hold.

DT: I think he heard you there Dean, because he just did.

MN: Nah, he was always going to do it.

DT: Both men, slow to get up, they turn to face each other... Cruise with a left, but Dodd ducks, goes behind and... German suplex with bridge...

...one...

...two...

...thr... no! Cruise kicks out!

DM: Close call.

DT: Yeah, and Dodd’s not relenting either. He grabs Doe by the leg and hits a dragon screw leg whip, converting seamlessly into a single leg crab.

DM: Great chain wrestling there by the Eye-See Champ.

MN: Godlike, even?

[ZAP]

DM: No.

DT: Dodd’s got that hold locked in, Cruise is squirming, trying to get out. And now Troy Douglas is trying to get in, but the ref’s restraining him! Now Doe’s in the ring and he just NAILED Cruise in the head with his boot! Dodd’s leaving the ring and Doe’s in now, the ref’s not any the wiser...

DM: Just another reason for mandatory IQ tests for refs, or at least two refs for tag matches.

MN: Oh quiet, those two men are godly. They ca...

[ZAP]

MN: STOP THAT!

DM: I don’t think God can hear you, big shot.

DT: Doe going to work on Cruise, stomping him. He’s got Cruise back up and... snap suplex!

MN: Crisp and clean by Doe.

DM: Right, now maybe he’ll follow up instead of gloating.

DT: And he does, grabbing Cruise and picking him up. Doe off the ropes and... big running DDT! Cover...

...one....

...two...

...no! Cruise kicks out! Doe picks Cruise up again, and he’s signaling for another Amnesia Attack! He whips Cruise off the ropes, Doe runs and... CRUISE DUCKED! HE COUNTERS WITH A NECKBREAKER!

DM: Big counter by Cruise there! Both men down!

DT: Doe seems to be going for a tag, but Cruise isn’t, he’s just trying to recover.

DM: He might have lost a little faith in his partner.

MN: No matter what, nothing will save him. His opposition is go...

[ZAP]

MN: OUCH!

DT: Doe tags Dodd, and Dodd rushes over, but... CRUISE COUNTERS WITH A DROP TOE HOLD! Cruise up, Dodd up, Dodd rushes in, but Cruise clotheslines him down! Cruise scoops up Dodd over the shoulder...

DM: Oh man, could we see...

DT: SHIPWRECK! SHIPWRECK! CRUISE HIT DODD WITH THE SHIPWRECK! HE COVERS...

...one...

DM: Here comes Doe, but Douglas catches him...

DT: ...two...

...three!

[SFX: bell]

TONY FATORA: Here are your winners, Cameron Cruise and Troy Douglas!

DT: What a win for Cameron Cruise here tonight, and you have to believe this doesn't bode well for Sebastian Dodd.

DM: Dodd just had an off night... I guarantee he's gonna be rarin' to go at Russian Roulette!

DT: We've got to take a break, but when we come back, it's Sands and JA, one on one!

[Cut to a commercial for Sea World.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Christian Sands vs. "The Anglo Luchador" JA

TONY FATORA: Th' following contest is scheduled for one fall!

[Cue up: "Dark Machine" - Paul Oakenfold as the lights plunge down. The fans begin to boo throatily as Christian Sands makes his way down the ramp and to his corner. He brushes them off casually and stretches.]

TONY FATORA: Introducing first... He hails from Barrie, Ontario, Canada... He weighs in at two hundred and seventy pounds... Thissss... isss CHRRRRRISTIAAAAANNNNN... SAAAAAANNNDSSSSS!!!

DT: It's been a little while since we last saw Christian Sands in singles action, but tonight he's going back to his roots against one of the brightest up-and-comers in EPW today.

DM: Dave, this is gonna be a huge match for JA the Anglo Luchador. He's got the chance to show the world what he's got against the first EPW World's Champion.

[Cue up: "Eat The Rich" - Fozzy. A wave of cheers and pops follows JA as the masked wrestler strides down to the ring, vaulting in over the rope and playing to the fans. The people respond amicably, cheering and screaming.]

TONY FATORA: And his opponent! He hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! He weighs in at just shy of two hundred and sixteen pounds! Thissss... iss JAAAAAAAAAAY... AAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!

MN: You know, I think JA really stands for Jumping Astronaut.

DM: ...That was so completely nonsensical, Michael Neely, that I am tempted to hit you in the face.

MN: I'm hurt.

DT: What an opportunity this is for JA here tonight, to show the world that he can compete at a main event level here in EPW. But he's got a pretty tall task here tonight against Sands.

DM: Christian Sands has taken down some of the biggest men in this industry, Dave Thomas - and the LAST up and comer who tried to get in his face, John Doe, just got butchered by him. JA does NOT want to become a Doe.

[SFX: *DING* - bell rings.]

MN: Who WOULD want to be John Doe?

DT: Anyway, here we go. JA signalling for the collar-and-elbow tie-up. Moving in... There's the tie up but Sands just SWATS JA to his knees with a clubbing blow! Now he's stepping back and... waggling a finger at him!

DM: There's the cockiness of Sands, Dave Thomas. He's trying to get inside JA's head and throw him off his game.

MN: Shouldn't take much.

DT: JA up again... moving in for another tie-up... Sands with the go-behind into the hammerlock, but JA reverses, there's the arm wringer, Sands reverses and there's the headlock takeover - and he ruffles JA's hair, then backs off, gets up, and waggles the finger again!

DM: Oh MAN. JA does NOT look happy.

MN: How can you tell? He's wearing a mask!

DM: Body language.

MN: Sign language!

DT: Again JA up... moves in for another tie-up, and Sands immediately grabs the side headlock - WAIT WAIT WAIT JA BRINGS HIM UP AND HITS THE BACKDROP!! AND NOW IT'S JA WAGGLING THE FINGER!!!

DM: HA! Threw it right back in his face!

DT: You can just SEE Sands seething as he glares at JA. Coming to his feet, signalling for the test of strength... JA reaching for it... SANDS BOOTS HIM RIGHT IN THE GUT! Clubbing blows to the back of the head - Irish whip, and there's the clothesline, turning JA almost inside out!

MN: Ew! Then he'd be wearing his guts on the outside!

DT: That one hit pretty hard... JA's up again, but Sands just snags him in the front facelock. Up and over... BIG vertical suplex takes JA to the mat! Sands into the ropes and there's the elbow drop right to the sternum of the former IC Champion! The cover! One - TWO - no, JA kicks out.

DM: Sands won't put him away this early, but he's coming out the gate swinging anyway. JA pissed him off, and it shows - and Sands is really freakin' dangerous pissed off.

MN: I'll say! Remember when he choked out Beast with a T-shirt?

DT: I remember. Sands bringing JA up by the back of the mask... whips him into the corner, barrels in after him with a HUGE clothesline! Whips him across the ring again, and there's another clothesline in the corner! Now drawing back... BLISTERING CHOP TO THE CHEST OF JA!

[SFX: *SMACK*][CROWD: "WOO!"]

DT: Another one!

[SFX: *SMACK*][CROWD: "WOO!"]

DT: And another one!

[SFX: *SMACK*][CROWD: "WOO!"]

MN: Wow, those were like bullets!

DT: Now the big man reeling JA out of the corner by the arm... looking for the short arm clothesliiine but JA DUCKS THE ARM AND SCORES WITH THE GO-BEHIND AND THE GERMAN SUPLEX!!!

DM: OW! That was a really quick reversal and Sands didn't even see it coming!

DT: JA taking the offensive now... Sands coming to his feet, but JA jumps to the ropes and SAILS OFF WITH THE MISSILE DROPKICK, AND SANDS IS DOWN AGAIN! JA to the ropes again - hits the top turnbuckle and SCORES WITH THE MOONSAULT! THE COVER!

One -

TWO -

NO, kickout by Sands!

MN: He just THREW JA off him!

DM: Oh yeah, heee's pissed.

DT: Both men coming to their feet now... Sands just KICKS JA right in the gut before the Anglo Luchador can react! Sets him up, and there's the big neckbreaker, taking JA down! Hits the ropes looking for the rolling neck snap - JA DUCKS BACK AND SANDS GOES FLYING RIGHT OVER HIM TO HIT THE MAT ON HIS FACE! What a counter!

DM: I've NEVER seen anyone do that to Sands before!

DT: Sands up now, holding his jaw... ONLY FOR JA TO SUPERKICK HIM RIGHT UPSIDE THE CHIN! AND THERE'S THE COVER!!!

ONE!

TWO!

Sands gets the shoulder up!

MN: Man, that was pretty close...

DM: JA's getting in some good hits, but Sands is a tough son of a b*BEEP*. He can take the hits and get back up.

DT: JA now trying to keep the momentum going, driving the big right hands into the face of Christian Sands. Pulls the big man up... whips him into the ropes, and takes him down with the spinning headscissors, and this crowd loves it!

[CROWD: LET'S GO J-A LET'S GO *CLAP CLAP* LET'S GO J-A LET'S GO *CLAP CLAP*]

MN: What do they know! Sands will kill him!

DT: Now the Anglo Luchador moving in again. Brings Sands off the canvas, hooks him up, and there's the snap suplex! Hooks him up once more - another suplex! Now Sands staggering to his feet - JA onto the ropes, springboards off, dropkick but SANDS CATCHES HIM OVER HIS SHOULDER AND SPINS THROUGH FOR A POWERSLAM OUT OF NOWHERE!!!

DM: HOLY CRAP THAT WAS FRICKIN' RIDICULOUS!

MN: Man, JA just got NAILED!

DT: What a turnaround by Sands, who's now giving his head a good shake... down to the canvas, and he's locking in, um, some form of submission hold -

DM: That's a figure four neck lock, Dave Thomas, and a damned brutal one at that. Sands is just RIPPING JA's neck apart right now, and JA's definitely feeling it!

MN: SQUEAL PIGGEH SQUEAL!!!

DT: JA trying to wriggle out of the hold, but Sands' legs are squeezing too tightly around his head and neck... he's stopping JA from the top down here!

DM: I don't think JA's gonna be able to break this. Look - there he goes, trying to get to the ropes now. Smart man.

DT: This crowd is cheering JA on vigorously as he makes his way to the ropes! Reaching for them... HE'S GOT THE BOTTOM ROPE! Sands breaks - AND PULLS JA BACK INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING AND SLAPS IN THE GROUNDED DRAGON SLEEPER!

DM: JA's dead. Dead.

MN: Oh snap, I think this is gonna be it!

DT: JA's fighting against the hold, but Sands has got it locked in good and tight... wait wait wait pulling JA up and HITS THE REVERSE DDT! AND NOW HE'S GOT HIM IN THE SANDMAN'S CLUTCH AND THIS IS ALL BUT OVER!!!

DM: IT'S DONE!!! JA'S GONNA TAP!!!

MN: TAAAAAP! TAAAAAAAAAP!!!

DT: THIS DOESN'T LOOK GOOD FOR JA! HE'S GOT HIS ARM UP! HE'S GOING TO TAP!!

DM: HE'S GONNA - WHOA WHAT THE HELL??!

DT: WHA - I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT JA JUST REVERSED INTO A ROLLUP!!! ONE!!! TWO!!! NO!!! SANDS KICKS OUT AND HE IS JUST LIVID!!!

MN: HOW THE HELL DID JA GET OUT OF THE CLUTCH?!?! NOBODY'S EVER DONE IT LIKE THAT BEFORE!!!

DT: Sands pulling JA to his feet! HOOKING UP FOR A SUPLEX - UP - JA FLOATS THROUGH! SANDS SPINS AROUND! JA WITH THE BOOT! BRINGS HIM UP - MY GOD, THE KARELIN DRIVER!!! HE HIT SANDS WITH THE KARELIN DRIVER!!!

DM: NO WAY!!!

DT: THE COVER!!!

ONE!!!

TWOO!!!

THREEEEEE!!! MY GOD, JA HAS DONE IT! JA HAS DEFEATED CHRISTIAN SANDS CLEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING RIGHT HERE IN AUSTIN, TEXAS!!!

MN: WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?!

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]

TONY FATORA: Here is your winnerrrr... JAAAAAAAAAAY... AAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DT: MY GOD, what a HUGE win tonight for JA over the first man to hold the EPW World Heavyweight Championship!

DM: I was NOT expecting that, Dave Thomas! I thought Sands had him, but JA took it to him and pulled out the win clean in the middle, one, two, three!

MN: Man! What a mindjob - hey what the?

[Cut to the ring, where JA is celebrating near the ropes. A scowling Sands storms up behind him and spins him brusquely around. The two men glare daggers at each other...]

[And slowly, reluctantly, Sands extends his right hand to JA.]

MN: DO IT, JA! DO IT!

DM: I dunno, Mike - I dunno if this is sportsmanship or a trick...

[The crowd shouts mixed opinions at JA, who looks first to the left, then to the right. He stares at Sands for a moment longer... finally reaching out to clasp the bigger man's hand. The two shake briskly, and Sands claps JA on the shoulder, offering a few words before slowly moving away.]

DT: What a great night this must be for JA, guys. Not only does he claim bragging rights for a completely clean victory over the first ever EPW World Champion, he also seems to have earned Sands' respect.

DM: Speaking as a man who knows Sands, that respect comes VERY grudgingly and to a select few.

MN: Maaaaaan... I can't believe JA did it. I thought he was done. This... aw.

DT: Folks, we've got another match for you going down right now... and it's the finals of the Russian Roulette tournament!

MN: WOOOOOOOOOOOO BLOODBATH!!!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Russian Roulette Tournament Finals
Dis vs. Clapper

[Cue up: "Hallowed Be Thy Name" - Iron Maiden. Parting the curtains with one arm, Dis stalks out onto the ramp to the loud mixture of crowd cheers and jeers. He tucks his hands into his pockets, approaching the Russian Roulette wheel - which is manned by Empire Girl Miyoko, as usual.]

TONY FATORA: Th' following contest is the final of the Russian Roulette tournament! Introducing first... DIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

[Cue up: "South Of Heaven" - Slayer. The crowd boos thunderously as Clapper stalks out onto the ramp, heading for the Russian Roulette wheel.]

TONY FATORA: And his opponent... CLLLLLLLLAPPERRRRRRRRRRR!!!

DT: And it's Dis up to spin the wheel first...

[Taking ahold of the wheel, Dis tilts his head, then gives it a firm spin. It rotates rapidly before slowing and settling on...]

BRA AND PANTIES

MN: ...BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

DM: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

DT: *snicker* Oh, THIS should be interesting! Two men of this size in a bra and panties match!

[A scowling Clapper yells something at Miyoko, but Dis extends an arm between the big man and the girl, shaking his head. It is with a few choice curses that Clapper grabs the wheel, giving it a spin. It slows, then lands on...]


X
(Bang, you're dead!)
DT: OH! AND CLAPPER GETS THE BIG RED X, AND THAT MEANS HE'S AUTOMATICALLY OUT OF THE TOURNAMENT!!!

MN: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH SNAP!!!

DM: HE'S FURIOUS!!!

[SFX: *DINGDINGDING*]

TONY FATORA: Here is your winner by virtue of Clapper's self-elimination, THE WINNER OF THE FIRST ANNUAL RUSSIAN ROULETTE TOURNAMENT and THE number one contender to the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP... DIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSS!!!

DT: What a break for Dis! Clapper spins himself out of contention - and he's being dragged offstage by security! Either way, it's Dis who will go on to Russian Roulette to face either Beast or Joey Melton for the title!

DM: Speaking of which, that's next!

MN: WOO! GO MELTON!

DT: Don't you DARE touch that dial!

[Cut to a commercial for Krap macaroni and raccoon.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

DAN RYAN is in his office, going through the evening’s paperwork. Sorting through his mail, he notices an envelope handed to him by Kenny Lombardo before the show. He opens it, the contents facing away from the camera. From the looks on his face, Ryan is shocked and angered.]
RYAN: That little bastard lied to me! He told me no one would **BLEEEEEEPING** find this!

[Ryan picks up his cell phone, works his way through the speed dial numbers, and hits the “SEND” button. Ryan waits, and nods his head as, apparently, he hears a voice on the other end.]

RYAN: Yeah, it’s me. Listen, it’s out. It had to be him. No, I’m not sure, but who the hell else could it be. You told me it was under wraps you little moron, and you screwed this one up big time. He’ll come out with it all next week, the asshole loves to make a big show of this kind of thing. We’ll deal with it then. Later.

[Ryan clicks the phone shut angrily, then exits the room, slamming the door on his way out. The camera, however, stays in the room, focusing on a plant in the back corner of the room where, if looking closely, one can see a hand-held video camera hidden amongst the leaves. From behind us, the door clicks open, and in walks TROY DOUGLAS, who comes over to the plant, grabs the camera, and slides it under his leather jacket. He looks at the files on Ryan’s desk before he too tiptoes out of the room. The camera still lingers, now moving towards the open file. On the top is a garden variety police dossier, with a photo of EPW wrestler JOHN DOE on the outside. The folder’s outside reads: “Chicago PD Profile, Isaac Byrne. Wanted for Manslaughter, Unstable and Extremely Dangerous”.

Fade to ringside...]



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


MAIN EVENT
EPW World Heavyweight Championship
Beast (c) vs. Joey Melton

[ Cue up: "Can't Do This Anymore" by Nickelback, and the crowd cheers as we return from commercial. ]

[Cut to: The announce table, where the EPW announce crew anxiously awaits. ]

DT: (yelling over the music and the crowd) Folks, welcome back to EPW's Aggression 16, and we're ready for the main event! Tonight, we've got a match that people from all over the world have been anticipating for a long, long, time! The man, the myth, the legend, the Unifier, the consumate entertainer... Joey Melton gets his chance to add yet another World Title to his impressive resume!

MN: How great would it be to see Joey Melton beat Big Loafy right here on Aggression?

DT: It would sure be a huge moment in EPW, Mike, but it's not like this is slam dunk match! Beast has been dominant since winning the EPW World Heavyweight Championship back in May of 2004, when he beat Christian Sands at Unleashed. He's been through tremendous title defenses with Adam Benjamin, a handicapped match against the World Tag Team Champions, three way dances with Benjamin and Boogie Smallz, Troy Douglas... he's beat them all!

DM: Beast has done a great job as Champion, but I have to say that he's likely in for his biggest challenge yet! Joey Melton may be getting a little up there, but lately he's been wrestling as if he's in his twenties again! He's fluid, he's quick, and in the best shape of his life! But the same can be said for Beast! He's fast for a big man - maybe not as fast as Melton though, but he's certainly got the advantage in size and power - he can put you out with the big moves! I can't wait until these two collide!

DT: These two men had a vicious war of words leading up to this match, guys! It was a classic battle of legend vs possible legend in the making... old versus new, entertainer versus athlete.... Melton versus Beast! I don't know what more can be said, gentlemen! These two men were as passionate about their craft as I've ever seen two guys be! They both want this match, albeit for very different reasons, and we'll have to see who comes out on top here tonight!

[ SFX: Bell rings three times. ]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen! It is time for the main event of the evening! Tonight's main event will be a contest for the Empire Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Championship of the world! It will be for one fall, with no time limit! Introducing first, the challenger!

[ Cue up: "I Need A Hero" - Bonnie Tyler, and the crowd lets out a massive, albeit mixed reaction of cheers and boos as Joey Melton steps out to center stage, decked out in a fantastic black robe that sparkles with the light of hundreds of sequins.

TF: He hails from New York City, New York, and is a multiple time World Champion from multiple organizations. He is The Sexual All-American, The Unifier, and tonight, he is the #1 contender to the Heavyweight Championship of the world. This is JOOEEEEEEEY MELLLLLLLTONNNNN!!!

Joey holds out his arms and slowly spins around in a circle, the word "Unifier" in gleaming letters on the back of his robe. Joey then walks down to the ring and enters, where he slowly takes his robe off and hands it to a ring attendant, before bouncing up and down, staying loose for the match, and his music fades out.

TF: And his opponent!

[ The lights in the arena suddenly but down to black and the crowd starts buzzing loudly. The light then come back up, bathing the arena in blue light. ]

[ Cue up: "Figure You Out" by Nickelback, and the crowd starts to cheer loudly! ]

TF: Hailing from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada! He is the current A1E Survivor Champion, the Canadian Wrestling Federation World Heavyweight Champion, and he is the reigning and defending Empire Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooooorld...

[ A blast of red and white pyro explodes around the stage, and the crowd explodes as Beast steps through the smoke, his EPW title around his waist. ]

TF: This... is...the Alpha Male.... BEEEEEAAAAAST!!

[ Beast stops at center stage to acknowledge the crowds cheers, and he then proceeds down the ramp and into the ring, where he takes off his belt and hands it to senior official Pat Jones, who shows it Joey Melton, who looks at it for several moments, then nods, and Jones then holds the title up in the air for all to see, before handing it to the ring attendant. Jones then turns to both Melton and Beast to ensure they are ready, and calls for the bell!

[ SFX: Bell rings. ]

DT: And we're underway, folks!

Both Beast and Melton come to the center of the ring and the two men stand toe to toe, staring into each other's eyes, trash talking to one another, when Melton raises his hand to take a swing at Beast, and Beast readies himself to block it, but Melton quickly pulls his hand back and runs his hand through his hair, smirking and just toying with the Champion.

MN: That's just fantastic! Melton, ever the antagonist!

DT: He's trying to play games with Beast's mind already!

DM: That's like Einstein playing with alphabet blocks.

Beast smirks back at Melton, and the two men back away from one another and start circling around the ring.

DT: Melton and Beast now locking up in the middle of the ring, and there's a struggle, each man looking to gain the advantage! They're really going at it, trying to take control!

DM: Would you look at that!

DT: Beast just tossed Melton back halfway across the ring! Big power display here from the Champion!

Melton hits the mat on his rear end and bounces back a foot, before looking back up at Beast and smiling that knowing smile. Melton gets back to his feet, and he and Beast again circle the ring before locking up a second time. Again, both men fight for the advantage, before Beast lets out a roar, and once again heaves Melton back across the ring, much to the crowd's delight!

DM: Melton's gotta stay away from Beast's power! He's gotta be quicker than the Champ!

DT: Agreed, Dean! Melton better change his strategy, and quick!

Melton gets back to his feet, and nods at Beast, acknowledging the bigger man's power, before motioning for Beast to bring it on again.

DM: What the hell is he doing?

Beast shrugs and comes after Melton, and both men go to lock up once again, but this time Melton jabs a finger into Beast's eye, stopping the Champion cold!

MN: And there's the experience of Melton, guys! He let Beast think that he was being over worked, but he just suckered Beast right in!

DT: OH MY!! And Melton just grabbed Beast and planted him into the canvas with a big time DDT!

The crowd flinches and groans a bit as they watch Melton slam Beast's head into the canvas, but their attention is suddenly diverted as someone steps out from the back and starts making their way down to the ring.

MN: Now THERE'S a sight for sore eyes! Wow!

The crowd boos as "Queen Of The Ring" Lindsay Troy steps around the ring steps and takes a spot near the apron!

DT: What in the hell is she doing out here?

MN: Don't you watch our own tv show, Burgerman? It's obvious that Troy and Melton haven't been, um... getting along... lately! Maybe she's come out to air some dirty laundry? Maybe they're gonna kiss and make up? Who knows? All I know is she looks HOT in those pants!

DM: Amen, brotha!

Back to the action, Melton drops an elbow across the back of Beast's head, and then pulls the Champion to his feet.

DT: Knife edge chops from Melton!

DM: Can you hear those things? That sounds like Melton's cracking a whip on Beast's chest!

With every shot, the crowd lets out an enthusiastic "WHOOOOOO", and Beast clutches at his chest as Melton keeps pounding away at it!

MN: Beast's chest is already turning red like a lobster!

DT: Whip to the corner by Melton, and he follows Beast in.... whoa! Big knee to the midsection in the corner that doubles the Champ over! And now he's opening up on Beast with a series of right hands, pummeling Beast in the corner!

MN: Melton wants this match bad! He's bringing the intensity!

Official Pat Jones moves in to warn Melton about using the closed fists, but Melton ignores him, pummeling away! Finally, Beast reaches out and grabs Melton around the throat and shoulders, and with a mighty yell he spins, slamming Melton into the corner, where it's his turn to open up with the right hands!

DT: The Champion is just *working* Melton over with those huge right hands!

The crowd gets behind Beast as he pounds on Melton, then as Beast takes his last warning from Referee Jones, Beast grabs Melton and hip tosses out of the corner and halfway across the ring! Melton bounces and gets to his feet, where he's met by a monster clothesline that turns him inside out!

DM: Melton's going to be taking Tylenol for a week!

Melton gets to his feet again, and Beast levels him again with another clothesline! Beast grabs him and whips him to the ropes, and Melton rebounds right into a huge boot from the Champion! The crowd cheer as Melton gets to his feet, and stumbles backward into the ropes, and Beast charges, and the crowd cheers as he knocks Melton to the outside with a clothesline over the top rope!

DT: And it looks like we have some more company!

MN: It's our esteemed owner, Dan Ryan, and he looks pleased!

Dan Ryan comes down the ramp, smiling and clapping as Beast dumps Melton over to the outside!

DM: Looks like Beast's cheering section is here!

Beast steps back from the ropes as he sees Ryan approach the ring, and he throws his hands up in the air in disgust and turns away from the ropes.

MN: And Big Loafy doesn't like it one single bit!

DT: Beast and Ryan had some words for each other last week, which ended up with Ryan coming down to ringside and trying to entice Beast to cheat and take the easy road to victory over Cross, but Beast would have nothing with it! I wonder what Ryan is up to this week!

MN: Beast should just shut his mouth and let his boss do what he wants!

Back on the arena floor, Melton gets to his feet and heads back to the apron. Beast sees him out of the corner of his eye, and chooses to ignore Ryan for the moment, focusing back on the match. Beast heads to the ropes as Melton reaches the apron, and reaches over to grab the challenger, but Melton's too quick, and reaches under the ropes and grabs Beast's legs, pulling him down to the canvas!

MN: He beat big loafy to the punch there.

DT: And Melton drives Beast's leg into the ring apron, and the World Champion is yelling out in pain! Melton grabs the leg again, and once more drives that huge leg down into the corner of the apron, and I think Melton's hurt Beast!

Beast curls up and clutches at the back of his knee, but Melton grabs him and drags him along the apron, before wrapping Beast's knee around the ringpost! Beast howls in pain and then scrambles back away from the corner to the middle of the ring. Melton climbs back up into the ring as Beast fights to get to his feet. Melton comes after him, but drops low and chop blocks the back of Beast's leg, and the Champion goes down in a heap!

MN: I smell title change, boys! Mweeheehee!

DT: Melton keeps hammering away on Beast, stomping away at Beast's injured leg! He could do some real damage here!

Melton then pulls Beast to his feet and hoists him up in the air and brings him down hard into a knee breaker, and Beast bounces off to the canvas, screaming in pain!

DM: Where the hell is Melton going?

MN: Looks like he needs a bit of steel!

DT: Melton's got a chair, and he's heading into the ring!

Referee Pat Jones looks over at Ryan, who simply nods, and then Melton takes the chair and sets it up in the middle of the ring. He then takes Beast's leg and puts it up on top of the chair, so the seat is under Beast's knee, and then Melton heads over to the corner and begins climbing to the top rope!

DT: Melton's going up top! He doesn't want to just take Beast's title, but he wants to end the Champion's career!

MN: YES!!

DM: Air Melton, baybee!

Melton leaps off the top rope, looking to splash Beast's knee...

 

[DBrunkGXW]

...but Beast manages to roll out of the way, and the crowd groans loudly then cheers as Melton eats the chair!
MN: NOOOOO!

DT: Beast got out of the way!

The crowd continues to cheer as Beast slowly pulls himself to his feet, favoring his leg. Beast then shakes out his leg and rubs it, trying to get some feeling back into it, and he limps over to Melton, and pulls him to his feet, before putting Melton right back on the canvas with a brutal neckbreaker! The crowd gasps at the impact, and Beast gets to his feet again, and sees the chair on the canvas.

MN: Ryan's telling at Beast to use the chair on Melton!

DM: Five bucks says Beast crushes Melton with the chair.

MN: No way. He's too much of a prude to stoop so low as to use a chair.

Beast turns and looks at Ryan, who's motioning like he's swinging a chair. Beast picks up the chair, and Ryan seems pretty happy and the crowd starts to cheer as Beast moves toward Melton.

DM: Come on, Loafy!

Beast raises the chair, but rather than waffle Melton, he turns and tosses the chair out of the ring, and the chair lands right at Dan Ryan's feet!

DM: Dammit!

MN: Told ya!

Dan Ryan looks down at the chair, then back up at Beast, and a red faced Dan Ryan locks eyes with Beast and the two men glare at each other!

DM: I don't like the looks of this, guys.

Ryan walks around the ring upset, with his hands on his hips as Beast pulls Melton back up to his feet and hits some chops that draw a WHOOO from the crowd, as Beast then whips Melton to the ropes. Melton rebounds and Beast takes Melton over with a huge powerslam that shakes the ring!

DT: Beast just hammered Melton with that powerslam! But he's still favoring that leg! He can't go right back to Melton!

Beast slowly gets back up, and he pulls Melton back to his feet again. He lands some punches, followed by a stiff European uppercut, and the World Champion whips Melton to the ropes, yet pulls Melton back in and levels him with a short arm clothesline! Beast holds on and pulls Melton back to his feet and hoists him high into the air, before dropping Melton down HARD with a brainbuster suplex!

DM: And Beast's still favoring that leg!

Beast gets to his feet and pulls Melton up after him, and whips him to the ropes. Melton rebounds...

DT: BIG sidewalk slam from the Champion! And Beast's definitely back in control now! There's a pin!

1...

2...

Kickout!

The crowd groans as Melton kicks out!

DM: That was close!

Beast pulls Melton back up to his feet, and hoists him onto his shoulders, yet wobbles a moment, compensating for the knee, yet Melton manages to fall behind Beast and hold on, hooking him into a reverse DDT!

MN: Big counter from Melton!

Melton and Beast both hit the canvas, and Melton takes a moment to shake out the cobwebs while Beast tries to forget about his knee. Both men make it up to their feet, and Melton goes right back for the leg, chopping down Beast once again!

DT: And Melton goes right back to the leg! He's found an opening on Beast, and he's not going to give up on it! That's 15 years of professional wrestling to help you get the job done!

Melton picks Beast up off the canvas and fires Beast stumbling across the ring into the corner, and follows it in with a big running clothesline! Melton then hoists Beast up to a sitting position on the top rope, and climbs to the second rope himself. He hooks Beast's arm....

MN: SOOOOOOOOPERPLEX from the Unifier!

DT: Melton sends the Champion down to the canvas with a nasty second rope superplex! And he hangs on for the pin!

1...

DM: Uh oh...

DT: Lindsay Troy put Beast's foot on the rope!

MN: Exsqueeze me?

Melton turns and sees Lindsay backing away from the ring, hands raised in the air as if she did nothing, yet she has a wicked smile on her face.

MN: Holy crap! What's Troy doing helping Beast?

DT: Is she helping Beast, or playing with Melton? Who knows?

Melton gets to his feet and pulls Beast away from the ropes by the feet, then leaps in the air and drives a knee into Beast's own knee! Beast shoots into a sitting position yelling out in pain! Melton drops a couple more knees, then hooks the injured leg and makes pin!

1...

2...

Kickout!

Melton picks up Beast one more time, and nails a wicked back breaker on the Champion! He makes another pin!

1...

2...

Kickout!

DM: Beast just keeps kicking out!

DT: Beast's resiliency and heart have been at the cornerstone of his success here in EPW, Dean! It's extremely hard to put this man down!

Melton grabs Beast by the feet, and slingshots the Champion into the corner! Beast's head snaps back and he stumbles back out of the corner, and Melton catches him with a german suplex!

DT: Melton's trying a different avenue here, guys! He makes another pin!

1...

2...

Kickout!

MN: Damn big loafy!

DT: And Beast just won't give up! How is Melton going to put him away! What do you have to do to beat this man!

The crowd pops, and a "BEAST! BEAST!" chant fills the arena, as the crowd gets behind the Champion and try to get him back in the match! Melton pulls Beast to his feet and whips him to the ropes, but Beast manages to reverse and send the challenger to the ropes, and Melton rebounds into a boot to the guts, and Beast hits a wicked whirling sitout powerbomb!

DT: The Champion just about put Joey Melton through the canvas!

Both men are down, but Beast soon rolls over and makes a pin!

1...

2..

Kickout!

Beast pulls Melton up, but Melton takes a swing at Beast! Beast ducks and boots Melton in the guts again, and hits a big stunner! Melton bounces off the mat and lands draped on the ropes!

DT: And look! Again, Dan Ryan is telling Beast to take advantage of what's presented to him! He wants Beast to choke Melton with the rope!

DM: But Beast is having nothing of it! He's yelling back at Ryan that he won't do it!

MN: And Ryan's pissed! Would you look at that face? If only looks could kill, we'd have a new World Champ!

Beast pulls Melton back into the ring off the ropes much to Ryan's dislike, and pulls Melton to his feet, where he nails the challenger with a full nelson slam!

DT: High impact move from the Champion!

Beast follows up with a couple of elbow drops to Melton's sternum, then pulls him to his feet, before going back to the basics and smashing Melton in the face with a solid right hand! Melton staggers away, and complains to the official about the use of the closed fist!

DM: What the...?

Melton argues with the official, and Beast approaches Melton from the rear, and Melton manages to drive a big mule kick up into Beast's nether regions and the Champion crumples to the canvas!

MN: Absolutely brilliant! Melton had the ref occupied, and he never saw a thing!

DT: And there's a pin!

1...

2...

Kickout!

DT: And Beast stil kicks out!

Melton gets to his feet, and sees Ryan on the outside, and the two men stop and stare a very unfriendly stare for a moment, before Melton turns to pull Beast back to his feet, and he hits a jaw breaker! But Beast doesn't go down, and Melton races over and nails Beast with a clothesline!

MN: TIMBERRRRR!

DM: THAT time he went down!

Melton pulls Beast to his feet, and whips him to the ropes. Beast rebounds, and Melton drives a knee into Beast's midsection! Beast flips over and hits the mat!

DT: Melton's attacking from all angles here, looking for any way to put the Champion down!

MN: There's another pin from Melton!

1...

2...

Kickout!

D: Another kickout!

Melton slaps the mat, unable to find a way to keep Beast down. He pulls Beast to his feet, and whips him to the ropes, and Beast rebounds. As he does, Melton goes for a Thesz Press, yet Beast catches him in midair and turns Melton over into a monster spinebuster! Melton sits up for a moment, clutching his ribs and yelling out in pain before collapsing back to the canvas! Beast makes a pin!

1...

2...

Kickout!

The crowd groans as Melton kicks out!

MN: And now it's the Unifier's turn to kick out!

Beast gets to his feet and heads to a corner, where he crouches and waits for Melton to rise. Melton does in a few moments, and Beast explodes across the ring....

DT: GORE!! GORE!!

DM: NO! Melton got the boot up into Beast's face! He caught him coming in!

The crowd groans as Beast hits the canvas! Melton goes for a quick pin!

1...

2...

Thr... KICKOUT!

MN: Stay down already!

The crowd cheers as Beast kicks out! Melton grabs him and whips him to the ropes, yet Beast reverses and sends Melton to the ropes. Beast drops his head for a backdrop, yet Melton catches him with a boot to the face, followed by a double leg takedown!

DT: And there's the figure four from Melton! He's got his trademark maneuver locked in!

Beast yells out in pain, and the crowd gasps!

MN: It's all over! We're going to have a new World Champion! Big Loafy's met his end right here!

The crowd starts a "BEAST!" chant as he fights and yells in the figure four! Pat Jones checks on Beast and sees if he wants to submit, but Beast yells out no!

DT: This is the test, guys! How much has Beast got left? What's he got left in the tank? How much punishment has that knee taken all match long, and how much more can he take?

Beast yells out, suffering under the hold by Melton! He reaches out for the ropes, but he's just a bit too far away! Beast sits up, but Melton leans back as much as he can, putting as much pressure on that injured leg as he can! Beast collapses back to the canvas, and Jones leaps into position for the count!

1...

2...

No! Beast sits up!

DT: Beast's only hope is to turn Melton over and reverse the pressure!

Beast rolls to the right and left, trying to shake loose or turn Melton over, and he manages to get Melton half way over! The crowd starts roaring!

MN: Shut up! It's deafening in here!

DT: Can he do it? Can Beast turn it over and escape the... YES, HE'S DONE IT!! Beast's turned Melton over, and this crowd is going absolutely nuts! Melton is howling in pain!

Now the official starts checking on Melton, seeing if the challenger wants to submit! Melton yells out no!

Beast pushes up all the way, trying to get as much pressure working in *his* favor now! But, right in front of Dan Ryan....

DT: And Ryan is pushing the rope in towards Beast! He wants Beast to grab it and lift himself up to apply more pressure to that hold! But Beast refuses again!

DM: You can hear Ryan screaming "Do what it takes! Do what it takes!"

MN:: OHHH! Beast just spit in Dan Ryan's face! Fire him!

Finally, Melton is able to untangle his legs, and the figure four is broken! Both men get to their feet, but Beast is obviously favoring the leg after being in that figure four for so long! Melton charges Beast, but Beast manages to boot Melton in the guts, and stumbles, before hooking Melton into a pumphandle...

DT: Beast swings Melton up! OHHHH! Beast just inadvertently struck the official with Melton! He kicked the official right in the face!

Jones goes down, and the crowd cheers as Beast plants Melton into the mat!

DT: Beast just nailed Melton with the Absolution 2K4!

MN: NOOO!!!

DM: But I don't think he caught Melton with all of that one, guys! Hitting the ref caused some balance problems, and it wasn't as fluid as I bet Beast would like! And look! Melton's down, but so is Beast! He's holding his knee!

DT: I dunno, guys, Melton's not moving! Beast is slowly trying to get to his feet! Yes, he's up!

MN: And so is Ryan!

DM: What?

MN: So is Ryan! He's on the apron! And he's yelling at Beast to take Melton out! By ANY means possible!

DT: You mean he wants him to cheat!

Beast is up on his feet, and he sees Ryan on the apron! He heads over to confront him, and Ryan tells Beast again to do what it takes! Beast yells back at Ryan to stay out of things, and Ryan jumps off the apron and to the floor, pounding his hands on the mat as he does! Beast climbs through the ropes to the floor, and he and Ryan get in each other's faces!

DT: What the hell is going on here?!? Ryan is telling Beast to cheat to get the win, but Beast is adamantly refusing! He won't do it!

The crowd boos as Ryan and Beast continue to argue, and it gets very heated! Pat Jones gets back to his feet

DT: Beast and Ryan are arguing tooth and nail here! This has got to be a professional wrestling first! I don't think I've ever seen someone so determined to make one of his employees cheat! Dan Ryan is trying to force Beast's hand and make him into something he's not! Beast is an extremely talented athlete with a large amount of pride and morals, and he'd never stoop to such a low!

Finally, things get to a point where Beast has had enough...

MN: HOLY F(FCC)K!!

DT: Beast just gave EPW Owner Dan Ryan a double fisted shot to the chest! MY WORD!

Dan is knocked back just a step, and he looks at his chest as if it was cardinal sin that anyone ever touch him, and he looks up at Beast and raises an eyebrow in amazement. He then turns to Pat Jones, and yells at him to ring the bell! Jones asks if he's sure, and Ryan screams at him to ring the bell!

[ SFX: Ring bell. ]

DT: What in the name of...?

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, here is the result of this match. Your winner, as a result of a disqualification... JOEY MELTON!!

DM: WHOA!

MN: Ryan disqualified Beast? That's awesome!

TF: However, the EPW World Heavyweight Championship cannot change hands on a disqualification without special stipulation, so STILL your EPW World Heavweight Champion... BEAST!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An intense round of loud boos emanates from the crowd, engulfing the arena!

DT: This is a first!

Ryan then turns to back away, walking up the ramp while still looking at Beast, who pounds the ring apron! Beast then grabs the top half of the ring steps and throws them across the arena floor!

DM: Beast is pissed! He's furious!

Ryan stares a hole through Beast as he walks up the ramp. Beast heads over to the timekeeper's table to grab his EPW World Heavyweight Championship Title, but not before he tears the top off of the announce table and he grabs a monitor and rips it from the table and smashes it on the floor!

DT: The Champ's incensed!

Back in the ring Joey Melton can't believe what he's seeing, and he and Lindsay Troy lock eyes, and the two share a disgusted look. The camera cuts back to Dan Ryan, who is standing at the top of the ramp. We get one last shot of him glaring at Beast, before the camera cuts back to Beast, holding his title amongst the ruins of the announce table.

DT: Folks, we're out of time! We've got to go, but we'll see you at Russian Roulette! For Dean Matthews and Mike Neely, I'm Dave Thomas, saying goodnight!


FIN