AGGRESSION 12: Las Vegas, NV - 9/7/04

[DBrunkGXW]

[Cut to the ring, which is surrounded by the entire Empire Pro Wrestling roster, every man under contract standing tall around the squared circle. Inside the ring, Dan Ryan and Christian Sands have exchanged their wrestling duds for dark suits, while Lindsay Troy stands by in a dark dress. A microphone stand sits between them, currently manned by the seldom-seen EPW General Manager, Paul Freeman.]
FREEMAN: Ladies and gentlemen, as many of you know we've experienced a tragedy recently in the passing of a dear friend, Chad Dupree. Given Chad's closeness to many members of our roster, it's only proper that we hold this session in his honor and dedicate this episode of Aggression to his memory. With that in mind, I'd like to turn things over to three people who have some words to say.

[Freeman steps aside and slips out of the ring. Dan Ryan takes the stand, clearing his throat.]

RYAN: There's a time and place for everything in this business. There's what we - all of us out here - do to entertain the fans, doing what we love to do night in and night out, and then there's real life.

My history is well known. In 1997 I was signed to a promotion called New Breed Wrestling. A man named Chad Dupree personally flew to Japan to take a look at a young kid and see what he could do. Chad signed me to my first professional contract that same year and has been instrumental in my development along every road I've taken. My greatest moments involved Chad. My induction into what needs to be done to survive in this business came from Chad.

Chad Dupree was also my best friend. I don't do a lot of these speeches. I don't break character. But it must be said what Chad Dupree meant to me on a personal level so much more than the obvious professional level. Chad was generous to a fault, forgiving even when he shouldn't be. On more than one occasion, I would get upset with Chad because he wouldn't stand up for himself more. There are so many memories, so many moments I could talk about that would fill up an entire show. I stand here today a lesser man because he's gone. Chad was my one truest friend in the world, and he was the best man I ever knew. I'll be happy if I can ever become half the man he was.

[As Ryan leaves the stand, Christian Sands steps forward and takes the mic.]

SANDS: In this business there are two levels - what happens on camera, and what happens backstage. On camera we never crossed paths. On that other level, I can't think of a better friend I've had than Chad Dupree.

When I first broke into this business in GXW, Chad was always there to help me along. We kind of got off to a rough start, but we became close friends pretty quickly after that. Chad was always a guy you could go to for help. He was always willing to give me advice on how to better myself, he would always be there to help me with personal problems... Simply put, he was a guy who would always be there for you and not turn away a soul.

Chad Dupree was one of if not the most selfless, caring, big-hearted men I have ever known. More than that - he was one of the best friends I've ever had the privilege of having. If there were any justice in this world Chad would still be with us today, because I don't believe that so good a man deserved to leave this world so soon. But regardless of the fickle whims of fate, nothing can erase the memories I have of a good man... and a better friend.

Rest well, Chad. We'll be seeing each other again someday.

[Sands steps back from the microphone, surrendering it to Troy.]

TROY: In my eight years in the professional wrestling business, I've been privy to a lot of different bosses, a lot of different situations, and a lot of different and dynamic people. All of us, whether we're babyfaces or heels, give a part of ourselves to this business night in and night out. A lot of us do it in the ring by putting on an athletic exhibition for the fans who spend their hard-earned money on a wrestling ticket just to see us entertain them for two, three hours at a time. But some of us give our heart and souls to the backstage efforts, to the day-to-day fed operations, to the pre-programming setup, the on-air presentation, and the post-event breakdown.

I consider it an honor and a privilege to have met and known Chad Dupree for one year. I consider it an honor and a privilege that he had a hand in inviting me to participate at Global Xtreme Wrestling's Battleground Britain earlier this year. And most of all, I consider it an honor and a privilege to call Chad Dupree my friend. Make no mistake about it, I used the present tense for a reason.

Chad's life and legacy is a testament to how we should all try to conduct ourselves in every day life. Dan and Christian just touched the surface, but to go deeper would be to know Chad in a very private and personal manner. I feel blessed to have seen that side of Chad, and while his body rests in eternal slumber, his spirit will always live on.

[Troy slowly steps down. Again Paul Freeman takes the stand.]

FREEMAN: Thank you, Dan, Christian, Lindsay... I'd now like to request a few moments of silence from the audience as we salute Chad's memory. Thank you.

[At the request, the crowd goes silent.]

[A moment later, the distinctive sound of the timekeeper's bell shimmers in the air, startlingly loud amidst the silence of the arena.]

*DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING... DING...*

[The twenty-first toll of the bell lingers as we slowly fade out.]



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[CUE UP: "Imperial March" - Rage Against the Machine. A video montage plays, featuring smoke-wreathed images of various wrestlers, some of them leaving blurred trails as they move.

CUT TO: Beast nailing the Absolution on Christian Sands.

CUT TO: Karl Brown coming off the ropes with a Quebrada.

CUT TO: Christian Sands taking Beast down into the Sandman's Clutch.

CUT TO: Troy Douglas standing victorious on a turnbuckle.

CUT TO: Adam Benjamin delivering a Shining Wizard to Karl Brown.

CUT TO: John Doe and Aodhan Lorigan striding down the ramp.

CUT TO: Jonathan Marx throwing Karl Brown over the ropes.

CUT TO: Lindsay Troy dropkicking Christian Sands.

CUT TO: Tyrone Walker locking up with Karl Brown.

CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting sedately in a chair, staring into the camera.

CUTTO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]



[Fade to a shot of JA, sitting center screen on a folding chair - a basic dark screen behind him.]

JA: You know, I never knew Chad Dupree, never wrestled against him, never heard him with a microphone in his hand. But I can't help but feel the immense loss around the locker room. Hearing everyone talk about how he touched their lives, vicariously, he touched mine. We'll miss you, Chad.



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[CUT TO: Broadcast position where we see Dave Thomas, Mike Neely and Dean Matthews at ringside.]

DT: Indeed a somber tone to the night's proceedings as we remember friend and comrade, Chad Dupree.

MN: One of the best minds in the business, we'll definitely miss him.

DM: I've gotta say that Dupree was the most solid promotor in the business, and he gave first chances to many of the men we enjoy watching today including our owner. You can't deny his contributions to the wrestling industry.

DT: Absolutely. Well folks, we still have a great show on tap. Jonathan Marx defends his Intercontinental strap against JA and the World Champion Beast is forced to wear a dress while defending his title against the World Tag Team Champions, at the same time.

DM: True enough, but Melton and Cruise have something to gain in this match and I'm not so sure we'll be seeing as much teamwork between the two as some may suggest.

MN: Who cares?? It's Beast in a dress!! This is gonna be great!

DT: Why don't we get things underway as we head up to the ring for our first match!



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Pulsar vs. C-4
[CUT TO: The ring... Pulsar is already inside. Tony Fatora is at ring side.]

TONY FATORA: the following match up is scheduled for one fall. It has a 25 minute time limit. Introducing first, presently in the ring...PULSSSAARRRRR!

TONY FATORA: And his opponent...

['Cue Up: Stupid Kid' by Alkaline Trio, C-4 walks on the ramp way and starts to make his way down to the ring as fans boo.]

Fatora: Weighing in at 242 pounds, hailing from Chicago, Illinois......CCCCCCCCC-FOOOOOOOOOOURRRRRRRRRRRR!!

[C-4 slides in the ring as him an Pulsar stare off.]

SFX: *Ding Ding!*

DT: And this match is underway! C-4 tying up with Pulsar, C-4 pushes Pulsar away and Pulsar falls down. Pulsar up again and goes to tie up, and is pushed down yet again.

MN: C-4 is a man beast! This guy is just powerful!

DM: And that's a good quality.... the stronger the better.

DT: Pulsar up to his feet and this time decides to charge at C-4, C-4 with a belly to belly over the head suplex....

MN: PULSAR HAD TO FLY HALF WAY ACROSS THE RING!

DM: Those belly to bellies will mess up your back.... that's why it's so effective.

DT: Pulsar is up holding his back, clothesline from C-4. C-4 grabbing Pulsar’s arm forcing him up again, and another clothesline, still holding the arm, and another clothesline!

MN: Pulsar practically did a back flip with the impact on that last clothesline!

DM: The strength of C-4 is unbelievable!

DT: Pulsar up to his feet, this time a bit groggy, C-4 tying up, SNAP SUPLEX FROM C-4! C-4 with the pin....1...2..kick out by Pulsar!

DM: A kick out is a good move but it wears you out in the long run. Why waste energy on a kick out when there is a rope to save you right there.

DT: C-4 forcing Pulsar to his feet again. Knife edge chop from C-4, and another...

MN: WOOOO!!!

DT: Pulsar against the ropes, Pulsar punches C-4, and he continues his assault, Pulsar forcing C-4 to the other end of the ring, C-4 is now against the opposite ropes, Irish whip by Pulsar.

MN: Pulsar is gaining momentum.

DM: After getting your ass handed to you for one-third of the match I hope he does.

DT: C-4 on the rebound, MISSLE DROP KICK FROM C-4! We thought Pulsar was going to get the momentum, but he was just shut down. Pulsar stumbling back fast from that dropkick, Pulsar hitting the ropes behind him coming back, CLOTHESLINE FROM C-4!

MN: That one had to be heard all around the arena!

DM: Pulsar is in serious trouble. C-4 with the cover...1....2....rope break.

MN: He decided to conserve energy!

DM: Sweet God you learned something Mike.

DT: C-4 grabbing Pulsar by the hair and forcing him to his feet. Pulsar with a toe kick, a desperate DDT from Pulsar!

MN: C-4’s head hit that canvas so hard he looks unconscious.

DM: Pulsar is a power house, nothing more to say than that.

DT: Pulsar is climbing on the top rope. C-4 to his feet. Pulsar leaping off looking for a cross body.....PULSAR HIT’S THE CROSSBODY! NO!!! C-4 rolling through in a bridge! Rollup pin by C-4!

MN: 1.......2.....3!

DM: NO! A verrrry faint kick out by Pulsar. C-4 arguing with the referee. Pulsar behind C-4, LOW BLOW FROM PULSAR!

MN: CHEATER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Disqualify him!

DT: The referee didn’t see it! Pulsar looking for a power bomb, Pulsar lifting C-4 in the air....NO! C-4 grabs Pulsars head and DDT’s him! Cover 1....2.....And Pulsar gets his foot on the bottom rope.

MN: Damn, these two both want the win so bad. C-4 grabbing Pulsar. Pulsar is up, Irish whip by C-4, but Pulsar gets the rewhip, C-4 on the rebound, arm drag take down by Pulsar, C-4 up quick Pulsar, bouncing off the ropes this time C-4 getting Pulsar with the arm drag take down.

DT: Both men are on their feet, they tie up as C-4 eye gauges Pulsar. C-4 grabs Pulsars head, swinging neck breaker from C-4!

DM: What’s C-4 doing? He’s walking to the turnbuckle, the referee is checking if Pulsar is ok, C-4 is untying the turnbuckle padding! This is insane!

DT: C-4 forcing Pulsar to his feat. C-4 Irish whipping Pulsar towards the exposed turnbuckle, NO! Rewhip by Pulsar and C-4 goes back first into that turnbuckle padding.

MN: Great move by Pulsar, very smart move! I can’t believe he had enough energy to pull off that reverse, C4 holding his back, Pulsar charges at C-4....

DM: C-4 LIFTS PULSAR IN THE AIR! FLAPJACK BY C-4! That move sent Pulsar crashing down on the exposed turnbuckle face first!

DT: Pulsar is busted open! He’s bleeding. Pulsar is just lying on the turnbuckle facing it! C-4 coming behind Pulsar and sets him on the top rope, Pulsar is groggy! C-4 gets to the top also.....

MN: C-4 LOCKIGN HIS ARMS AROUND PULSAR’S WAIST....GERMAN SUPLEX OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!

DM: Pulsar hit the canvass neck first! What a move from C-4! Pulsar looks as though he is knocked out, unable to move, Pulsar is laying on the canvass!

DT: C-4 and Pulsar are both laying on the canvass as the ref begins the 10 count. Crowd: 1.........2.........3......

MN: COME ON C-4! GET UP!

DT: Both men straggling to get to their feet. Crowd: 4.......5........6.....

DM: This may be the best match tonight! Both men getting on their senses back, as they are both on all fours! Crowd: 7......8.......9.......

DT: And C-4 is to his feet so is Pulsar. C-4 charging at Pulsar. Pulsar catching C-4...SIDEWALK SLAM FROM PULSAR!

MN: Pulsar is getting his head straight, C-4 is up! C-4 running at Pulsar again....SIDE EFFECT FROM PULSAR!

DM: Pulsar is defiantly gaining momentum! Pulsar is getting the crowd to their feet as he signals for the Tombstone pile driver! Pulsar toe kicking C-4. He’s picking C-4 up....

DT: C-4 Is fighting it! C-4 Grabbing Pulsar's arm and slipping between his legs! C-4 HAS LOCKED IN THE COUNTDOWN!!

MN: PULSAR HAS NO WERE TO GO! AND PULSAR DECIDEDS TO TAP OUT!

DM: That my friends is a devastating move, it will tear your neck like crazy.

TONY FATORA: Here is your opponent by submission......C-4!!!!!!!!!!!!!



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DT: What a move by C-4! What a great athlete!

MN: That was a great match!

DM: What can I say about C-4. He's got ring presence, he's got a good grasp of psychology. This guy's made a hell of an impact so far, and things can only look up from here.

DT: Folks, we're going to take a short break, but when we come back - it's tag-team action! That's next!

[Cut to a commercial for Chef Jamboree's Xtreme Ravioli Explosion.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

DT: Well folks, earlier in the week it was announced that The Cameron Cruise Project would defend the World Tag Team Titles at Wrestleverse. Furthermore a match was signed between The Second Coming and the makeshift, but dangerous team of former EPW World Champion Christian Sands and Lindsay Troy.
MN: I can't think of anything more embarrassing, or more of a turn on than getting your ass kicked by a hot piece of ass like Lindsay Troy.

DT: Family!

MN: Oh, right.

DM: Either way, there should be some wonderful technical wrestling going on in this match.

DT: Let's take it to the ring and one Tony Fatora and get this one underway!!



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#1 Contendership - World Tag-Team Titles
Second Coming vs. Christian Sands & Lindsay Troy
TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen the following is a tag team contest, set for one fall.

[Cue up: “The Final Countdown” by Europe. As the opening chords of "The Final Countdown" play, the arena goes black. As the introduction of the song continues, the words "A New Time Has Come" flash on the big screen above the ramp. As the words "The Final Countdown" are heard for the first time, an elaborate display of fireworks and lights signal the entrance of Matt Johansson and Bryan Storms. The two slide simultaneously under the bottom rope and pose on opposite turnbuckles, taunting the crowd.]

TONY FATORA: Weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred seventy pounds, the team of “The Perfect Ten” Matt Johansson and “The New Icon” Bryan Storms.... Thiiisss iiiisssss...SSSSSSSSEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD....CCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

DM: Last time we saw these two was in Nashville when they lost that Golem invitational match; LITERALLY the last time we saw them, as they’ve been totally mute since. Even calls from the office have been having a hard time getting through.

MN: Well, Johansson is from Canada.

DT: So’s our former Worlds Champion, Mike. I’m sure you don’t want him to come over and get you for that crack.

MN: Erm... good point. OH, CANADA!!

[CUE UP: “Dark Machine” by Paul Oakenfold. Christian Sands steps out onto the rampway, looking round as the crowd jeers him. He seems to be revelling in their hatred as “Dark Machine” fades into Led Zeppelin’s “Heartbreaker,” announcing the arrival onto the ramp of Lindsay Troy. Troy and Sands walk side by side, determined, to the ring, Sands sliding under the bottom rope as Troy vaults over them]

TONY FATORA: Their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred and forty pounds... they are the first Empire Pro Worlds champion and the “Queen of the Ring” respectively... CCCCCHHHHHHRRRRRRRIIIIIISSSSSTTTTTIIIIIIAAAAANNNN SSSSSSSAAAAAAANNNNNNNDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSS and LLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIINNNNNNNNNDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY...TTTTTTTRRRROOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

DT: Enough of Mike’s awful singing there, as Troy and Sands look one hundred per cent focused on their opponents this week.

DM: It’ll be interesting to see how they work as a team, Dave. Storms and Johansson tag regularly, but other than War Games I don’t recall Sands and Troy teaming. They’re great singles wrestlers but tag teaming is a totally different kettle of fish.

MN: Or fish sandwich, eh Burgerman?

DT: You could do with eating some fish, Mike. It might give you some intelligence. Looks like it’s Sands and Johansson to start this match. Both men lock up, jockeying for position, as the heavier Sands looks to push his countryman back into the corner. The ref calling for the break... Johansson switches it, giving a clean break, almost taunting Sands.

DM: Taunting may work in some cases, but against a cool customer like Sands, Johansson’s going to have to be careful. Mind games work both ways, and if yours aren’t working then you end up the one being frustrated.

DT: True, as both men lock up again, this time Sands with a knee to the gut, followed by a hard hip toss. Sands drops the elbow, the cover...kickout at one by Johansson, as Sands again just smirks at him. They go to lock up again, this time Johansson with the go behind into a waist lock. Sands counters with a go behind, and a HUGE belly to back slam there takes Johansson down.

DM: Sands using that weight advantage, as he lifts the smaller man up and whips him in hard to the corner where Lindsay waits. Look for them to cut the ring off here.

MN: How’s that?

DM: With scissors, idiot.

MN: Really?

DT: Leaving those two a minute, Sands has Johansson in a bad position, stomping away in the corner. Storms comes in, trying to get to his partner, but the ref stops him, as Troy leans over with the chord and chokes Johansson with it. Sands now picking up the smaller Canadian as the ref comes back over, whipping him into the opposite corner... what’s this about?

DM: Letting him tag out can unsettle a team.

DT: Ah. Storms now into the ring, as Sands tags out as well, and we have two fresh faces in the ring.

MN: *slurp* erm...

DT: Mike... stop drooling...

MN: Can’t help it...

DM: Yeah, Troy is a hottie; just as hot as the Empire Girls.

DT: Dean, not you too.

DM: And Troy using those sweet, sweet legs of hers to kick Storms as Thomas and Neely sit here gawking. Try doing your jobs, guys, ok?

DT: erm... Troy scoring with some quick kicks to the ribs there, as Storms tried for the lock up. Lindsay now with a go behind, hooking her arm around Storm’s neck... NICE backbreaker there, using her speed and strength to drop him onto her knee there. Lindsay Troy now picking up the larger man, taking him back over to her corner, tagging in Sands now. Nice double team work there, as Sands leaps in, driving the point of his elbow down into the ribs of Bryan Storms as Lindsay holds him prone.

MN: She can hold me any day.

DM: Good strategy there from Troy; remembering the battering Storms took in the Golem invitational, she and Sands are focusing on his ribs.

DT: Dean’s right there, as Sands picks the smallest man in the match up, swinging him down in a pendulum backbreaker. Storms looks in a lot of pain here as he slumps to the mat.

MN: Man, I’m conflicted. Storms is my man, but Sands is well... Sands.

DT: Very astute there, Mike. Sands now with Storms up on his shoulders, holding him in a human torture rack. You can hear Storm’s screaming from up here

DM: Well, the punishment he took in his last outing probably cracked a few ribs, and I doubt they’ve yet completely healed. Sands is being smart and keeping Storms off the mat, where he can’t scoot on over to his partner for the tag.

DT: Sands still bending Storms around his neck. As he yells over at Johansson. Matt tries to come in, but the ref pushes him away again. Sands now bringing Storms up...STORMS LANDS ON HIS FEET!! He ducks the clothesline attempt, and another... SCORES with a flying forearm, and it looks like Storms and Johansson could be back in this match.

DM: I dunno; that’s really the first thing that’s hit from them, and those martial arts kicks from Lindsay were spot on the ribs of Storms....see? Sands makes the tag, and Troy drops the knee right on the back of Storms. She pulls back on his neck.

DT: Almost like a camel clutch, using her knee for extra leverage, bending Storms like a bow.

MN: Godammit!!! I WANT THAT!!!

DT: Mike, you know if Lindsay hears you, you’re going to end up hurting? MN: I don’t care.

DM: You will do brutha.

DT: Storms trying to fight this hold, inching his way over to his partner... inching... and Christian Sands runs in to catch Johansson before the tag!!!

DM: Nice team work, as he and Lindsay now drag Storms back towards their own corner. Sands steps out, but is tagged back in again, keeping the fresh partner in. Smart tag wrestling as we’d expect from two veterans like the former World champ and the Queen.

DT: Sands now stomping away on the back of Storms. He lifts him up, locking him in... yep, a dragonsleeper there, locking the legs round to keep him in the corner. Storms is yet to be able to get to his partner and save himself and it’s showing. You’ve got to think it’s only a matter of time before this match is over.

DM: The ref checking the arm of Storms, who looks out of it. Sands is great with submission wrestling, and he and Lindsay have been working well on the ribs of Storms. The arm drops once.

DT: The ref checking again... it drops down a second time. If it drops again, it’s all over...NO!!! Matt Johansson runs in, kicking Sands squarely in the forehead there, causing him to break the hold. Sands’ neck looks like it snapped back there, as Johansson drags Storms over to the corner. Sands with the tag, but Johansson... YES!! Matt Johansson manages to get out of the ring, and tag himself in, vaulting over the ropes with a Thesz press on Lindsay.

MN: DAMMIT!!!

DT: As we leave mike to cry here, Matt Johansson is wailing away on Troy with punches here. Sands comes in, but Johansson catches him with a clothesline, seeing him from a ways off. Johansson now turning back to Lindsay... BIG slam on the Queen. He drags her over to the corner, looks like he’s setting her in positionNOOO!!! Christian Sands makes the save with a powerful release German suplex.

DM: Smart man, he saw his partner in trouble and did the gentlemanly thing there.

DT: Sands helping Troy up, as Storms is getting to his feet on the apron... Sands knocks him down there with a HARD shot to the face, and Storms looks hurt as he bounces off the railing there. Sands turns, ducks the clothesline from Johansson... BIG belly to belly there, as Johansson turned right into it. Sands signalling for Troy, as he picks Johansson up again. Troy standing by the ropes.

DM: Sands hooking in a front face lock here, setting him up.

DT: HOLY COW!!! A snap suplex from Sands is met PERFECTLY timed there by Lindsay Troy with the Asai Moonsault!!! Troy makes the cover, as Sands stands with his eye on Storms

One...

Two...

THREE!! It’s all over!!!

[SFX: *ding ding ding ding ding*]

TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen the winners of this match, the team of CHRRRRRISTTTTIAAAAANNNN SAAAANNNNDSSSSS and the Queen of the Ring.... LLLLLLLLLINDDDDDDDDDDSAAAAAAAAYYYYYY....TRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOY!!!!!!!!!!



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DT: Big win for Troy and Sands and they're now on a collision course with The Cameron Cruise Project at Wrestleverse.



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[CUT TO: Backstage, where we see JA walking down the main hallway.]

DT: Well what do we have here? MN: Ooh, more backstage drama!

[JA passes a door stenciled "Paul Freeman" without any notice until after he passes, the door opens and out comes a familiar looking character.]

Priest: Well, if it isn't my favorite wrestler in this joint!

[JA turns around to see Priest, once again wearing a JA A1E t-shirt with fine jeans.]

JA: What the hell...

Priest: C'mon now, don't act so angry to see me.

JA: Wait, you're coming out of... there?!?

Priest: Yeah, Mr. Freeman had a document for me to sign. A contract, if you weell.

JA: So I guess you're here officially. But when are you...

Priest: Well, I'm going to debut in the ring after Wrestle Verse...

JA: Well that gives...

Priest: BUT... Mr. Freeman was so gracious as to provide me and a friend front row tickets to the event. Isn't that nice of him?

JA: Well, yeah... wait, front row tickets?

Priest: Mmhmm. Isn't that swell?

JA: I... you know what, I have a title to win.

Priest: Yeah, I know. Kick that commie's ass like you tapped Ophelia's.

JA: Shut up...

Priest: Hey, I wished you luck man...

JA: Yeah yeah... anyway I gotta run.



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MN: Man, the Anglo Luchador's PMSing big time.

DT: Well he obviously has some issue with Priest...

DM: But the big story is, Priest is coming to Empire. Man, this is huge. This guy's a prospect.

MN: Sounds like my kinda guy too.

DT: I'm afraid of that... Folks, we've got to take a quick commercial break, but when we come back - JA, Marx, Intercontinental title! Next!

[Cut to a commercial for EPW Aggression for PS2.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

DT: We're back. Folks, this next match promises to be one for the books, as we've got Intercontinental Champion Jonathan Marx putting his title on the line against the Anglo Luchador, JA!
MN: JA's new to EPW, but he's made such a huge impression that the bigwigs in the front office just had to reward him!

DM: Take it from me. This is going to be a sight. JA's the kind of guy who can hang on the mat real well, but with Marx you can't win with real well. You've gotta have perfect. You make one little mistake and Marx is on you like that. What JA's gotta do is take it off the mat, come at him from the air where he's got the advantage.

DT: Some very insightful words there, Dean. We'll see how JA handles so formidable an obstacle as the Gentleman. Take it away, Tony Fatora!



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EPW Intercontinental Championship
"Gentleman" Jonathan Marx (C) vs. JA "The Anglo Luchador"
TONY FATORA: Th' following contest is scheduled for one fall! It will be contested for the Empire Pro Wrestling IN-tercontinental Championship!

[Cue up: "Only Happy When It Rains" - Garbage. The fans rise up and jeer as Jonathan Marx makes his way to the ring, title belted firmly around his waist. The Gentleman lifts his nose at the hollering crowd, stepping into the ring and heading to his corner.]

TONY FATORA: Introducing first... He hails from Princeton, New Jersey... He weighs in at two hundred and fifteen pounds... He is the reigning IN-tercontinental Champion... The Gentleman... JONATHAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN... MAAAAAAAAAAARX!!!

DT: And Jonathan Marx's face tells the story, folks. You can see the look of focus in his eyes. With his date with Sebastian Dodd only days away, you just know that Marx isn't willing to give up his seat to the Anglo Luchador.

DM: You've got that right. Marx is a focused, technically skilled wrestling machine, and it takes a hell of a wrestler to get one over on him.

[Cue up: "Eat The Rich" - Fozzy. Accompanied by the roar of the crowd, JA walks out onto the ramp, striding to the ring confidently. He vaults in over the top rope and salutes the fans quickly.]

TONY FATORA: And the challenger... He hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania... He weighs in at exactly two hundred and fifteen and three-eighths of a pound... He is the Anglo Luchador... JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

DM: Just from the tale of the tape you can tell this is going to be a very even match. Both guys at two hundred and fifteen pounds, within a couple inches of each other in height. Marx has a little more leverage and is better on the mat, but JA's more compact and brings the quickness advantage.

MN: Watch the Emperor shoot him down!

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]

DT: And there's the bell! Marx and JA circling quickly, and there's the collar and elbow tie-up. Marx through into the hammerlock, JA switches up and gets the side headlock takeover to bring the Gentleman to the canvas.

MN: Nothin' like a wee bit of chain wrestling, eh Burgerman?

DT: Marx matrixes up out of the headlock, ducks under and gets the standing arm wringer on JA. JA looking to counter with the fireman's carry, but Marx swings through and takes him down with the double-leg clip. Could be looking for a half crab - JA powers out before Marx can step over.

DM: You can see that Marx has a bit of an advantage there. Look at how easily he blocked that fireman's carry. Marx's technical aptitude is definitely showing.

MN: He's the Emperor, baby! Woo!

DT: Both men to their feet now. Going for a tie-up - Marx shoots in with the go-behind, there's the rear waistlock and the belly-to-back takedown, and it looks like Marx is going to the side headlock. He's got it cinched in - JA fights to his feet - could be looking for a back suplex - Marx bulldogs him to the mat and keeps the pressure on the head and neck of the Anglo Luchador.

MN: That thing is like a vice! Notice how even Marx's most basic holds look deadly?

DM: That's the Marx advantage, Mike. Marx is so technically sound that he can take you apart with just basic holds. He's got a great grasp of the fundamentals and knows how to pick apart your body piece by piece.

MN: Dag.

DT: JA again fighting to his feet... Trying to shove Marx off, but the Gentleman isn't budging. Now JA back into the ropes, using the momentum to shoot Marx out of the headlock - Marx rebounds and catches JA with the shoulder block, then immediately goes back to the headlock!

DM: See what I mean? He picks a body part and he keeps at it like a wild dog.

MN: He snapped that thing on like lightning!

DT: Again JA fighting against that hold - up to his feet, backs Marx into the ropes, but this time Marx rolls through and brings JA down with another headlock takedown. You have to think JA's in a world of trouble here.

DM: Definitely, Dave. Marx is controlling JA completely right now. At this rate it's gonna take JA awhile to build up to any sort of comeback.

MN: Not giving your opponents a chance to fight back? Now that isn't very gentlemanly...

DM: You think that's gonna stop him?

DT: Don't count JA out yet, guys, because he's fighting to his feet again - Locks his arms around Marx - boosts him up - OH, ATOMIC DROP breaks the hold and stuns Jonathan Marx! Marx staggers around, and JA takes him to the mat with a forearm smash!

DM: Good, good move by JA. He saw an opening and he took it.

MN: After all that spiel, it was Marx who left himself open! I guess even the Emperor makes mistakes, huh?

DT: JA waiting for Marx to come to his feet. Marx up - running clothesline by JA rocks the Gentleman hard. Again Marx to his feet - another big clothesline by the Anglo Luchador! Marx now rolling to the outside to regroup - wait wait wait OHHHHH! JA NAILS Marx with a BEAUTIFUL plancha from the ring to the floor!

MN: DAMN! That was slick!

DM: What'd I tell you! JA brings the aerial assault! He keeps that up and he's going to have Marx reeling.

DT: Looks like JA is gaining control of this match as he picks up the stunned Marx... whips him into the apron, and Marx is in a world of hurt! Now JA rolls Marx back into the ring. JA climbing to the apron... Waiting... Marx is up... JA leaps to the ropes and SPRINGBOARDS INTO A BEAUTIFUL DROPKICK, AND MARX IS DOWN!

DM: BEAUTY!

DT: JA going for the cover! One - TWO - NO, Marx JUST kicks out.

MN: That dropkick was a thing of beauty. Hoo!

DT: It sure was, Mike. JA bringing Marx to his feet now, whips him off into the ropes, and the big elbow takes Marx right back down again. And there's the big leg drop by JA, right across the throat of Jonathan Marx!

MN: He's, uh, Anglo-ing up?

DM: No more copyright infringement. PLEASE. We're already in enough s**t with a certain Mr. E-Z.

DT: This crowd firmly behind JA as he whips Jonathan Marx off into the corner. Now mounting the ropes with Marx beneath him - slugging away!

[CROWD: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!]

DT: Ten big right hands from the Anglo Luchador! Now looking for the monkey flip out of the corner - Marx grabs JA's legs and bridges over for the surprise roll-up! One! TWO! No, JA kicked out!

DM: Again you see the technical skill of Marx. JA spent too much time showing off and not enough time paying attention to his opponent.

DT: Both men come to their feet now - JA moves in, but Marx gets the double leg takedown! Drags JA towards the corner - catapult sends JA face-first into the turnbuckle, and Marx follows up with the schoolboy! One - TWO - Kickout by the challenger!

MN: Marx is right back on the attack!

DT: And Marx not letting up here, as he goes to the grounded front facelock on JA, locking up his head and neck good and tight! This is a very simple hold, but very devastating if you know how to properly apply it.

DM: Which Marx does.

DT: JA trying to fight the hold, but Marx is just controlling the Anglo Luchador's head right now, trying to shut down his body from the top down.

MN: He's rendered him topless! Haha!

DM: I hate you, Michael. Your puns are bad.

MN: Wow... That was blunt.

DM: I hate freelance competition.

DT: Now JA starting to fight to his feet... He's up, but Marx suplexes him right back down! Bridging for the pin - could be it here - JA gets that shoulder up! Marx rolls over for the lateral press - one - TWO - Again JA gets the shoulder up!

DM: Marx is keeping the pressure on real good here. He's not giving JA a chance to bounce back like he did before.

DT: Slowly but surely, JA's coming to his feet... Marx snapmares him back down crisply, then goes to the seated full nelson!

MN: Why's it called a full nelson, anyway? His name isn't Nelson!

DM: It is now!

MN: Nelson Marx?

DT: Shush, you two. Marx cinching in that full nelson and putting pressure on the neck of JA, wearing him down for his signature submission, the Marxism STF. JA's in a LOT of pain here!

DM: Again, this is a basic hold, but it's one that's very hard to fight out of. Once again you see how Marx isolates that neck and just rips it apart methodically. Every time JA tries to mount a comeback, Marx shuts him down and goes right back to working on that neck.

MN: It's the Nelson Marx Advantage!

DT: JA fighting to his feet... Backpedals into the corner and slams Marx against the turnbuckles, but Marx is NOT letting go of that hold! JA hooks his foot around the rope, forcing referee Emilio Gomez to call for the break. Marx gives it to him.

MN: What a gentleman!

DT: Now Marx bringing JA out of the corner. Hooks him up for a German suplex - Heaves - JA locks his legs around Marx's waist for the quick roll-through! One - TWO - Marx kicks out!

DM: Ooooh, surprised him!

DT: Both men up, Marx shoots in towards JA, but the Anglo Luchador hits the big knee to the gut! Underhooks both arms... Pulls Marx up and DROPS HIM ACROSS HIS KNEE WITH A BACKBREAKER!

MN: OOOOH!

DM: DAMN! That had to sting!

DT: I'll say! Again JA on the offensive with the big knees to the back of Marx and - wait a minute, Sebastian Dodd's coming down the ramp!

MN: Oh my Dodd! Dodd's here!

DM: *snerk*

DT: Fortunately it looks like he's just here to watch, as he's standing at ringside observing the action as JA whips Marx off into the ropes. Oh, HUGE dropkick by JA catches Marx upside the jaw! The cover! One - two - Marx gets that shoulder up!

DM: Obviously Sebastian Dodd's going to have an interest in this match. He's scouting out Marx for the Pay-Per-View, learning from JA's example.

MN: THE EYES OF DODD ARE UPON YOU, JONATHAN!!!

DM: *snickering*

DT: And JA's continuing his offensive here, sending Marx off into the corner. Charges in - no, Marx gets the foot up and stops JA cold! Now Marx going to the top rope - JA recovers and stuns him with a right hand to the gut!

MN: Back and forth, back and forth...

DT: JA with another big right to the gut of Marx. Now he's going up... Underhooks both arms... OH!!! BUTTERFLY SUPLEX OFF THE TOP ROPE TO JONATHAN MARX!!!

DM: THERE GOES THE REF!!

MN: REF BUMP!!!

DT: Oh my! Jonathan Marx's leg caught referee Gomez in the face as he came down, and the official is out!

DM: This doesn't look good...

DT: Both Marx and JA coming to their feet... Wait a minute, Dodd grabbing that steel chair from ringside! He's sliding into the ring... WALKING TOWARDS JA!!!

DM: Oh snap! He's protecting his investment!

DT: Dodd SWINGS - NO, JA PULLS MARX IN FRONT OF HIM!!! MARX TAKES THE CHAIR IN THE FACE!!!

MN: DID YOU HEAR THAT CRACK?!?! DODD DECKED HIM!!!

DM: DAG!!!

DT: Dodd is dumbfounded! He hit the wrong guy! Swings at JA - JA ducks and SHOVES Dodd over the ropes! Marx is OUT - but JA puts icing on it! Springs off the ropes! LIONSAULT connects!

DM: It's over!

DT: The official's recovered! The count!

One!

TWO!

THREEEE!!! WE HAVE A NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!!!

MN: WHAT AN UPSET!!!

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]

TONY FATORA: The winner of the match, and NEEEEEEEEEEEW IN-tercontinental Champion... JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!



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DT: Talk about your backfires! Dodd missed his intended target and inadvertantly cost Jonathan Marx the Intercontinental title!

DM: Great match.

DT: Folks we'll be right back after a quick break!

[Cut to a commercial for Cheezy Weezy Cheese Sticks, endorsed by Cheezel the Weasel.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

[CUE: 'Battle Without Honor or Humanity' - Tomoyasu Hotei. The lights at the MGM Grand begin to flicker on and off as the overhead screen begins to show highlights of another federation ... GWE. The crowds cheers slowly begin to turn into boos once seeing the big screen promote stars of GWE's past.]
MN: What the hell is going on? GWE? Is it shot and beer night? What the HELL are those letters doing on the screen?

DT: All of us in Empire Pro were a little nervous when Boogie Smallz ran his mouth, but now he'll have to pay the price because I think his boss is here TONIGHT!

MN: His boss? You mean his supplier?

DT: You could say that ...

[Making his way to the top of the stage in a GWE Jersey and a pair of lovely ladies by his side, GWE Owner Erik Zieba is greeted to an ovation of boos and cheers.]

MN: DEAR SWEET LOVE OF THE LORD WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE!

DM: I can't believe it! He tore away from his computer in Germany and managed to hop a flight to Las Vegas! Maybe he's looking for the odds makers on his fantasy football site.

MN: Hey that's pretty good.

DM: Like that? I'm full of'em.

DT: That's not the only thing you're full of ...

DM: WHAT?

MN: Oh it's gettin' hot in herrr.

DT: Nevermind that! The GWE Owner is in the ring and he's got a mic!

[Taking the microphone from one of the ring attendants, Zieba looks around at the crowd and lets off a slight snicker before starting.]

EZ: Now I was told, beforehand, to keep it clean when I came out here to speak my mind. They told me that I need to watch what I say cause I might upset others who might not be involved or otherwise don't care. They said that I need to stay in line and so respect to this federation just like they have to everyone else.

Well BUMP THAT CAUSE IT AIN'T HAPPIN'

Oh, and by the way, if you ain't figured it out already ... it's gonna be a shoot.

[Zieba takes another moment to look at the crowd ... in disgust.]

Well, well. So this is what I left Germany for? I was living the life of living off of others while my fed was running smoothly, but then I heard they tried to take it over ... even RENAMED IT! That ... that really hurt inside. I guess that's why I went out of my way to make sure that if people are gonna change MY FEDERATION AROUND ... that I stop it before it happens!

So I put it in ... oh how do you say ... hiatus? Like people should really care WHAT I do. The workers in GWE didn't care. None were really showing up for work. Those who did show up for work were sub-par as it was. And, because of our esteemed champion, it's not like we ever had a drug test system going on. Face it ... the federation was going straight down the crapper. I was doing everyone a FAVOR!

[Zieba looks over at one of the EPW fans and flips him off.]

EZ: How about that buddy? You think I'm number one then right back at ya!

[Boos begin to fill the arena as Zieba continues on.]

EZ: In case nobody picked up on it by now I was MORE than happy to step away from this 'business'. I've got a ton of more important things to be doing rather than hearing some immature lil'brats come up to me and say 'When's the next show?' Like that's what I F'N live for. I'm here to entertain you just so you can have a happy life. And, if I didn't make you happy, you think you have the RIGHT to come find me and ***** me out just because I booked you to look bad. Like I'm really supposed to care.

Man I'm glad I walked away, but OBVIOUSLY some *****ES don't want me to walk! I can point a lot of fingers at people who have pissed me off since the last card. Two hoseheads that come to mind are....AHEM....Beast and Marx. These two little wastes of flesh got their respective panties in a bunch just because I made some comments that they didn't agree with. These two faced oxygen bandits told me that I shouldn't say bad things in public, but rather seek out the responsible parties in private. I would respect what they said, but considering they didn't drop any lines after what was in the LAST EPW card ... their words and wisdom, in general, don't mean JACK. And if they don't like what I'm sayin' now then TOUGH! Wha'cha gonna do? Cry me a river? Cry it, float down it, and fall off the edge of existence cause I could give a rat's ass less WHAT YOU TWO THINK!

[The boos get louder as Zieba continues on.]

EZ: How the HELL are you people booing me? Half of your FREAKIN ROSTER is made up of GWE ALUMNI! The reason THIS FED is worth a damn is because of things I started LONG AGO! Most of the talent back there? MINE. Most of the format you see on Empire Pro? MY IDEA. What's next? King of the Cage? Stairway to Hell? Long Hard Road Out Of Hell? Let's just steal everything from old Erik Zieba you might think, but that ain't gonna happen and it stops right now!

Starting first ... with a certain belt held by a criminal known as Boogie Smallz ...

[Some cheers go up for the last GWE Heavyweight Champion.]

EZ: Cheer all you want, but just remember that is MY PROPERTY you are cheering for. The belt ... AND MY ***** BOOGIE JOE! You see ... I can understand why Boogie Joe has so much hate in the world, but I don't understand why he directs it towards me. Is it my fault that he never got a break in other federations? Is it my fault that he had to hock a belt and make it into a chain? I gave him a chance to do the impossible in GWE and he impressed alot of people. He turned heads TOWARDS him rather than away from him and why? Cause I, ERIK MUTHA F'N ZIEBA GAVE HIM THAT CHANCE! And what does he do? He spits on me. He bites the hand that feeds him. He tries to call me out and say that I should stay off the Autobahn and tear away from the computer just so I can come back and CONTINUE to make him famous.

When I first heard of Boogie Joe he was nothing more than a ECW groupie waiting in the crowd PRAYING people ... SOMEONE would notice him.

Back then, the only highlight in his life, was when a wrestler opened up a can of beer and poured it in Boogie Joe's mouth. It was all on tape. I should know cause he sent it to me as his résumé. Boogie Joe was so proud. I still remember the phone conversation. Hey guys look at me. He's pouring beer in my mouth. I'm so famous!

[Zieba points towards the big screen where the tape replays showing the image.]

EZ: My question to you is this ... how do you even know that is beer? It could've been something else. Yellow liquid being poured down on you ... sure you wasn't having a water sport moment? Maybe you thought you would make ESPN's Top Ten? Maybe they would label it as the kid who looked up at the man who poured a can of piss on him? Is that what you want? Does it make you feel better? Do you feel good that your highlight is another man pouring liquid on you? You don't even KNOW what it was, but it tasted good didn't it Boogie Joe?

No wonder you turned to weed. Anything to get THAT taste out of your mouth!

But I felt PITY for you when I should not have. Nobody else was giving you a break so I took a chance, lost the bet, and gave you a contract. And look what I did for you. I made you a CHAMPION! Oh wait ...

Did you actually think you EARNED that belt?

[Zieba laughs in the ring while the audience is staring ... confused.]

EZ: You know ... he even had the nerve ... THE NERVE ... to come out and say that I should care what others THINK? That I should get off my lazy ass, quit driving on the autobahn, pull away from fantasy football, and CARE about HIM? F ... ORGET HIM!

Oh, in case nobody figured it out yet, I would be talking about one Boogie Joe a. k. a. Joe Mendelsohn.

Yeah. Joe Mendelsohn. What? You morons think he walks around town signing checks as Boogie Smallz?

Maybe he forgot to realize, but UNLIKE HIM ... I DO have a life to lead. I have things to worry about rather than how HIGH he can get and what kind of F'ED up ideas he can send to me just to push HIS character. Shoot ... if it wasn't for his alter ego Boogie Smallz ... he would HAVE NO CHARACTER!

Figure out what the Freak THAT means!

Mendelsohn you make me sick. You're gonna come out here and some some 'ish' about me? *****! What do you do for a living? Don'cha get out of the house son? Hell! You've got alot of nerve saying it's wrong to be playing Fantasy Football considering you're on the SAME F'N LEAGUE! Or am I supposed to look over The Cashville Chronic?

[Zieba begins to laugh as the crowd continues to boo.]

EZ: Here are the ground rules I'm gonna set down so that even YOU can understand. You will leave my name and anything referring to MY FED out of your conversations. Verbal or visual ... stay out of my business. I would've hoped you would have returned my emails from before, but you were probably too busy being dazed and confused and unable to turn on a computer let alone READ anything. Can you ... understand that?

I am not returning to federations. I have no desire to return to federations. And, I assure you, the last thing you want to do is to get my COMPLETE AND UTTER F'N ATTENTION!

Oh yeah, and one more thing, for the 'in-character' crowd, Boogie Smallz ... you picked the wrong OWNER ... to F**K WITH! And EPW ... it has been ... your ... pleasure!

[CUE: 'Battle Without Honor or Humanity' - Tomoyasu Hotei. Zieba's music starts back up as he exits the ring to a loud chorus of boos and heads towards the back.]



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MN: Someone's having a bad day.

DT: Folks, I can only guess what the reaction to that little...tirade...is gonna be, but I can't imagine certain people backstage are gonna be happy.

DM: Well, you've gotta know he didn't just waltz out here through security and bust out of character suddenly without permission. The boss had to know what was gonna happen.

DT: Are you suggesting Dan Ryan would let Zieba come out here and trash his company like that?

DM: What is Dan Ryan concerned with most of all?

Thomas and Neely at the same time: Ratings.

MN: Pinch poke you owe me a coke.

DT: [having been pinched by Neely] OWW!

DM: Heh.

DT: Touch me again and die, Neely.

DM: Touchy touchy.

DT: Well, whatever the circumstances of Zieba's appearance we still have a show to do. Let's go up to the ring...where Karl “The Dragon” Brown will be taking on the number one contender to Beast’s World Championship, Troy Douglas.

MN: Well, after tonight, it might belong to either one of the current Tag Team Champions. Ooh, the thought of Joey Melton winning the Empire World title excites me almost as much as the idea of Big Loafy being humiliated by wrestling in a dress!

DM: Well that’s just scary there, Mike, but I have to say, a Melton/Douglas match does intrigue me. But regardless, this match is happening right now, and I can’t wait to see Brown and Douglas go at it.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Troy Douglas vs. Karl "The Dragon" Brown
MN: Well, it WAS nice of Douglas to show up this week, wasn’t it?

DT: Hey, we all have our rough spots here and there. Regardless, this should be a great match. The rubber match, if you will between the two.

MN: Rubber match? Ew, I just got the nastiest thought in my head.

DT: Will you get your mind out of the gutter for a second?

DM: While you two retards bicker, I think I might point out that Brown’s win happened because of interference by the erstwhile Rocko Daymon.

[Cue up “Rainmaker” on the PA. Karl Brown comes out to a mixed reaction.]

DT: Well, Karl Brown has gone through an attitude change over the last few weeks Dean, and I don’t think we’ve seen the end of it. He might not need Daymon’s help now to get the job done.

DM: Not saying he would there, Dave-o, but I don’t think we’ll see that attitude adjustment end any time soon, which might pose a little problem for our wittle wookie of the yeaw in there. He can still flat-out wrestle with the best of them though. That’s why he’s always an upset special.

MN: Well, anything but that idiot Douglas. You know, he ought to stick to training folks.

DM: You know Neely, sometimes I can tolerate you, but c’mon, show a little consistency. You know you’re gonna be cheering your ass off for Douglas come WrestleVerse.

MN: Of course I am. I’d root for Hitler if he were wrestling Big Loafy.

DT: FAMILY SHOW NEELY!

[Brown stoically enters the ring and “Kashmir” cues up on the PA. Troy Douglas enters the arena to a huge ovation from the crowd.]

DT: Listen to this Vegas crowd cheer for the number one contender!

DM: Well, he oughtta give ‘em a better show than he did last week. That much is certain.

DT: Douglas enters the ring and we’re about ready to start things up.

[*ding ding ding*]

DT: Alright, time for some action. Brown and Douglas lock up, and collar and elbow tie up. Douglas gets the advantage, gets behind Brown with a rear waistlock.

MN: Hey, can we call that move a McGreevey from now on?

DT: You are a schmuck, you know that?

DM: Hey, I kinda liked that one. Humina humina humina!

DT: Back to the action in the ring, Brown with one elbow, two elbows, a third elbow and Douglas relinquishes the hold. Douglas backing off a little and Brown hits him with a clothesline! Douglas to the canvas.

MN: Hmm, looks like Douglas is a still a little rusty.

DM: Or maybe Karl Brown is pretty good and is getting off to a quick start.

DT: Douglas gets up quick, Brown steps back a little. They lock up again, this time, Brown gets the advantage, side headlock. Douglas pushes Brown out of it, the Dragon off the ropes and... FLYING FOREARM! Douglas to the canvas, but Brown, wasting no time, with the headlock!

DM: Wearing the number one contender down. This is good strategy.

DT: He’s wrenching it in. Karl Brown is a master technician, folks. He can make the simplest headlock feel like torture.

MN: Same with his interviews...

DT: Hush, I find them interesting.

MN: Big surprise there!

DM: Ladies, ladies, we have a match to call.

DT: You’re right, and it seems Douglas is gaining some strength, powering back to his feet. Shoves Brown off, rebound and Karl Brown just hit him with a flying forearm!

DM: Big impact there, Dave.

DT: Brown goes right to the mat and covers....

One...

But Douglas kicks out.

DM: That might have been a bit too early for a pin attempt.

MN: I’m surprised Douglas kicked out.

DT: Why’s that?

MN: Lack of training.

DT: Will you get off it already? Brown up with Douglas, kick to the gut, and swinging neckbreaker! Douglas down to the canvas. Brown follows in with a knee drop to the chest and a cover...

One...

Two...

But Douglas kicks out again!

DM: Wow, the Dragon is tenacious.

DT: That he is, Dean, he’s back on Douglas, picking him up and...

MN: McGreeveying him!

DT: Thank you, Neely. He’s behind and... SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! That was pretty vicious!

DM: You’re telling me. HEADA DOROPORINGU!

MN: What in the hell was that?

DM: Don’t you watch Japanese wrestling?

DT: Brown’s not going for the pin here, he’s got Douglas up and in the corner, inverted facelock. I think he’s going for diamond dust here, but... NO! Douglas just threw him off the top rope and Brown landed flat on his back!

MN: What in the hell is Douglas doing now?

DM: Climbing to the top. Can’t you see that?

MN: That was a rhetori, rhetauro, rhe...

DM: Alright, speak and say, just can it and watch!

DT: Douglas to the top and he’s waiting, waiting, Brown gets up and... MISSILE DROPKICK! Oh my! Troy Douglas just pulled that out of his bag of tricks. He’s up and covers...

One...

No! Brown kicks out.

MN: What an idiot. He just takes a beating from the Dragon and thinks he can kick right out? This guy is gonna get mauled by Big Loafy.

DM: Hey, that was alright stratgety there. Cover as many times as you can, make the guy kick out as much as possible. It’s psychology, Neels.

DT: Douglas grabs Brown by the arm and whips him into the corner. Douglas charges and BIG IMPACT with the splash! Brown falls flat on his face! Douglas right over and nails him in the back of the head with a knee drop! Douglas is punishing the Dragon!

DM: I think the sleeping number one contender has been awakened.

MN: Meh.

DM: Meh? That’s all you have to say?

DT: Dean, it’s the most intelligent thing he’s had to say in months!

MN: Oh, kiss my as...

DT: FAMILY SHOW!

MN: ...cott.

DT: Douglas now with the camel clutch, he’s pulling back but Brown gets the ropes quickly. Douglas picks up Brown and...

MN: McGreeveys him!

DT: Somebody cut his mic, please! Go behind to a bridging German suplex!

One...

Two...

But Brown kicks out!

DM: This is the Troy Douglas that earned that shot at the World title.

DT: Douglas grabs Brown and sits him on the turnbuckles. Could this be the End of the Road? He goes to... NO! Karl Brown just shoved Douglas off the turnbuckle! He stands up and... elbow right to the sternum!

DM: SHAMALAMABINGBONG!

DT: Brown grabs Douglas and picks him up... T-BONE SUPLEX! Brown really hit him hard there! Brown goes down to the canvas and locks in the dragon sleeper, leg scissors and all.

DM: Is he going for the kill here, or just trying to wear him out? Cuz suckaz gotsta know!

MN: I don’t know, but whatever he’s doing, it looks like Douglas is having a hell of a time in it.

DT: Brown’s stretching him good here, but Douglas is trying to roll over and get to the ropes.

MN: Ring the bell, he’s not gonna roll over here.

DM: I don’t know, Neely. He’s getting some momentum, I think he’s got a shot...

DT: Douglas with the last burst and he gets to the ropes. Brown isn’t breaking the hold. C’mon ref, one, two, three... Brown releases.

MN: Bull, he’s on roids!

DT: That’s your excuse for everything!

DT: Brown hurries to his feet and stomps on Douglas before he can get up. Brown back to the canvas, picks Douglas up, he goes behind him, dragon sleeper again... I think he’s going for the Dragon’s Bite and... NO! Douglas blocked it! Douglas blocked it! He reaches back and... STUNNER! Brown flies back and Douglas with the quick cover...

One...

Two...

THREE!

[*ding ding ding*]

Tony Fatora: Your winner by pinfall... TROY DOUUUUGLAS!



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DT: Well, Douglas pulled that one out of nowhere, but we need to give credit to Karl Brown.

DM: I agree, but let’s not sell Douglas short here. He used a good counter to get the win. I like that. I think he’s ready for Beast.

DT: We'll be back right after this! It's Kin Hiroshi and Sebastian Dodd....NEXT!!

[Cut to a commercial for Johnson Famished Man dinner commercials, featuring Beast and the new Big Meat Loafy meal.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Fade In...
[Open on a small, musty gym on the outskirts of Las Vegas, NV. Inside the gym are only two people, an athletic looking young man pounding away on a large punching bag and a taller, slightly older man supporting the bag with his weight, shouting words of encouragement to his counterpart. John Doe, the man unloading on the bag with fists and feet, is sweaty and fatigued. Troy Douglas, his "mentor", looks tired but encouraged. Doe slams the bag with a roundhouse kick one last time and falls to his knees with exhaustion.]

DOUGLAS: Alright, kid. One more round and hit the showers.

DOE: More! C'mon, Troy, I've been at this for hours already! There's nothing more that this can do. If I keep going, there's no way I'll make it to my match against Benjamin!

DOUGLAS: Wrong, John. This type of exercise is exactly what will give you an added edge against Adam. You've got talent, kid, but right now, there's no way in hell you can outwrestle Adam Benjamin. Did you see what he did against Beast?

DOE: Yeah.

DOUGLAS: Then, you see, building up your endurance is your only shot, if you want to do this...

DOE: ...the right way. I know, you've been pushing it into my skull for the last month.

DOUGLAS: If you can't outwrestle him, outlast him. Stand your ground, don't give in. If you can tire him down, go for the kill. Read, react, and progress John. It's not just about running straight ahead and attacking, kid. Know thine enemy, and know thyself.

DOE: Fine. But, Troy, I'm dead on my feet out here. No more workouts until after Aggression, please.

DOUGLAS: Alright. This time, John.

DOE: Great! Meet you at the poker table!

DOUGLAS: Ehhhh...not so fast, John.

DOE: What now?

DOUGLAS: Homework.

DOE: Homework? You have got to be sh*tting me, Troy. I'm not a junior high schooler!

DOUGLAS: Tonight you are, John. It's all in the bag, and believe me, kid, I'll know if you've done it.

DOE: Fine. This is total bullsh*t, but fine. What is it?

DOUGLAS: Open the bag, all will be revealed.

[Doe grabs a light blue duffel bag, and opens it to reveal several CDs, DVDs, and a couple of books. He has a confused look on his face.]

DOE: Uh, Troy?

DOUGLAS: Yeah?

DOE: I think you confused this with your airplane carry-on bag. This has nothing to do with wrestling, it's just a bunch of books and movies! You might want to call the airline.

DOUGLAS: Nothing to do with wrestling?

DOE: Nope. None at all. Dark Side of the Moon? Led Zeppelin IV? The Catcher in the Rye? This has absolutely nothing to do with wrestling!

DOUGLAS: Really?

DOE: Yeah, and you know it!

DOUGLAS: Wrong again, Johnny. This is the path.

DOE: Again with this "path" bullsh*t! I don't get you, Douglas!

DOUGLAS: This stuff, John, is inspiration. This is focus. I watched, read, and listened to each of the things in that bag multiple times during my recovery. The philosophies I got from these materials combined with months of rigorous training got me back. When you accepted my help, you told me you were lost. This is the path back to success, and perhaps, back to your original identity.

DOE: This is crazy, Troy. Books aren't going to help me remember who I was before Black Water.

DOUGLAS: Are you really so sure about that, John?

DOE: I, uh, uh...

DOUGLAS: Of course, you could just hit the bag for a few more hours.

DOE: Damn you! Fine, I do the damn homework!

DOUGLAS: You want to walk the path, John?

DOE: [whispering] Yes.

DOUGLAS: Excuse me?

DOE: YES DAMNIT! I'll read your f*cking books! Just let me out of here!

DOUGLAS: Good, John. Very good.

DOE: What are you talking about?

DOUGLAS: You're walking the path.

DOE: What's with the Yodaspeak, Troy?

DOUGLAS: You are beginning to understand your anger. Take your pain and redirect it as your passion. Your anger can be the source of your greatest accomplishments, if you learn why you are so angry, so filled with hatred, then you will have something to work from.

DOE: Huh?

DOUGLAS: You have to discover what you are so furious about. That is the key to both you're past and future.

DOE: Oh. Yeah. That.

DOUGLAS: Take the bag. You'll thank me later.

DOE: Maybe. Maybe not.

DOUGLAS: Get a good night's sleep, kid. Every ounce of energy helps. Pretty soon, you'll get it.

[Doe slings the bag over his shoulder, and grabs a towel from the bench, wiping the sweat glistening on his face before stuffing the towel in the bag on leaving the room, grumbling under his breath]

DOE: Books? This is sh*t. I am John Doe, I don't need this. But if "Mystic Sensai Douglas" wants to run his little kingdom this way, so be it. If it helps, it helps. This is bullsh*t, but what else is there? Back to Black Water? I'll be damned if they take me back.

[Doe exits. The camera pans back to Douglas who continues to have a knowing smile on his face. He watches Doe leave the room, hearing every one of his protégé's muttered protestations.]

DOUGLAS: You're beginning to learn, Isaac. Beginning to learn. I pray to God you don't take this for granted.

...Fade back to the ring, where Tony Fatora awaits.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Kin Hiroshi vs. "Your Hero" Sebastian Dodd
TONY FATORA: Th’ following contest is set for one fall.

[CUE UP: "Crashing Around You" - Machinehead. The crowd jeers as Kin Hiroshi stalks down the ramp, jumping unceremoniously into the ring.]

TONY FATORA: Introducing first... He hails from Tokyo, Japan... He weighs in at two hundred and thirty pounds... KIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN... HIIIIIROOOOOOOOSHIIIIIII!!!

DT: Hiroshi here looking to avenge a drubbing last week at the hands of “The Dragon” by taking out one of the few men who’ve picked up a win over the Brit in Sebastian Dodd.

DM: I’ve seen Kin a lot back in GXW and, all muffin puns aside, he’s talented. Last week was probably just lack of foresight on his part, although he’s been much too silent for my liking.

[“Crashing Around You” fades into “Stellar” by Incubus. Sebastian Dodd walks through the curtain, standing on the ramp-way with his nose turned up to the fans slightly in disgust. He walks down to the ring with his usual arrogant gait]

TONY FATORA: His opponent, weighing in at two hundred and forty five pounds, and hailing from New York City, “Your Hero”...SEEEEBASSSSTAAAANNNNN.....DOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD!!!

DT: Dodd sliding in under the ropes now... Hiroshi with a hard shot there, blindsiding Dodd.

DM: After last week seeing how Brown used that to his advantage I’m not surprised. Those stiff lefts and rights hurt and at the start of the match that’s all you need to do.

DT: Dodd now fighting back, trading blows with the man from Japan

MN: Poet.

DT: Hiroshi staggered here, as Dodd sends him off the ropes. Big elbow there taking Hiroshi down, and Dodd looks less than happy with that attack, stomping away now. He lifts Hiroshi up, taking him down with a quick snapmare. He lifts him up again, locking in his hands behind him... HUUGE German Suplex there has Hiroshi folded like an accordion.

MN: Analogy-type person thingy.

DM: Is it me or are your insults getting worse?

MN: I didn’t have much time to plan this week; too busy with da’ ladies

DT: You mean those hens you keep in your yard?

MN: Hey, haven’t we got a match going on here!?!?

DT: Joking aside, Dodd is really taking Hiroshi to the cleaners. A hard whip into the corner, followed up by a Dragon’s screw out of the corner. Dodd holding onto the leg now, locking in a spinning toe hold as Hiroshi slaps the mat in frustration and pain.

DM: I REALLY don’t know what’s gotten into Hiroshi recently, but he’s not had the fire I expected when I saw his name on a contract a few weeks back.

DT: I don’t think Dodd is interested in where that fire’s gone, as he releases the toe hold, holding the leg... OUCH!!!

DM: Now THAT’S how you put a hurtin’ on someone. That somersault flip whilst holding a leg can easily tear a hamstring, and that elbow drop fixed into it there by Dodd adds even more impact. Great innovative move there that you’d come to expect from someone on our roster.

MN: Yep. What he said.

DT: Dodd sniffing disdainfully at Hiroshi, as he kicks the Japanese athlete out of the ring. Dodd follows after him, and a HARD Irish whip into the security barrier. Dodd now, like a predator, picks up Hiroshi, driving him spine first into the ring post.

DM: Just watch, he’s setting him up for a big finish.

DT: Dodd now rolls Hiroshi unceremoniously into the ring. He follows him in... HARD chop from Hiroshi, who looks to try and fire back now. Hiroshi with a kick to the leg, and the whip to the corner. Charging in... NO, as Dodd gets the foot up. Dodd now setting Hiroshi up on the top... SOMERSAULT KICK almost knocks Hiroshi off the top!! Dodd going up with Hiroshi now, hooking him in a face lock... BIG superplex.

DM: Any time now. He’s working that back extremely well.

DT: Dodd now moving to the feet of Hiroshi, picking them up and... HERO’S END!!! That elevated Texas Cloverleaf Dodd’s made his own is locked in centre of the ring!!!

MN: Kin’s fighting it, fighting it....

DM: And there’s the tap out. Told ya.

[SFX: *dingdingdingding*]

TONY FATORA: The winner of this match by submission.... “Your Hero”....SSSSSSSSSSSEBASTIAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN......DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DT: Well I've gotta tell ya. Kin Hiroshi hasn't been quite himself since coming over from GWE. He doesn't even look like the man who was tearing up the main event scene last year.

MN: Ganja muffins'll kill a career.

DT: Folks, we've got to take a break, but we'll be back in just a few moments! Don't go away!

[Cut to a commercial for BJ Stinger energy drink.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Falls Count Anywhere
John Doe vs. "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin
DT: Well, our next match certainly features two people with no love lost for each other.

MN: Well, that’s true, but only an amnesiac like John Doe wouldn’t love someone the caliber of Big Daddy English.

DM: Well, Doe’s definitely gonna have something to prove here. Two weeks ago, he got his butt thoroughly kicked by Christian Sands. Last week, while his showing was a little better, he still was pretty much shown up by the newcomer, JA. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him come out here a little more motivated, especially against someone who challenged so closely for the World Championship a few weeks back.

DT: Wow that was some pretty good analysis there, Dean.

DM: Thank you, Dave. BABA BOOEY BABA BOOEY HOWARD STERN’S PENIS BABA BOOEY!

MN: You had to open your mouth, didn’t you?

DM: Hey, at least I’m not making those stupid McGreevey jokes.

MN: You liked them though!

DM: Yeah, the first time you used them.

DT: Alright, will you two stop being idiots momentarily? Also, this match is falls count anywhere.

[Cue up “Lose Yourself” by Eminem. Out comes Adam Benjamin.]

DT: “Yours Truly” comes out and he’s looking as confident as... holy crap! Look out!

DM: It’s John Doe!

MN: That shifty little bastard!

DT: Doe’s attacked Benjamin from behind! Club to the back of the head, Benjamin stumbles forward. Doe runs up and grabs Benjamin and throws him into the guardrail!

DM: Wow! This little kid’s bringin’ down the house early!

MN: Sneak! Sneak! Arrest him!

DT: Benjamin’s up and he’s holding his head. I don’t see any blood, but here comes Doe again! He’s charging in, but Benjamin nails him with a lariat!

DM: Damn, has the match even started yet?

DT: I think the ref just called for the bell now. He’s not waiting for them to get to the ring. Doe gets up, Benjamin BIG RIGHT HAND to Doe’s face. He runs in with a clothesline, Doe back to the ground again.

DM: I think Benjamin’s pissed, no?

MN: What do you think? Big Daddy English is a house on fire!

DT: Doe to his feet again, Benjamin right there to scoop him up, carry him over to the guardrail and... SNAKE EYES! Doe’s throat has to be CRUSHED! Benjamin covers...

One...

Two...

...No! Doe kicks out, and Benjamin picks him right back up. He’s got him in a front face lock and... OH MY CHRIST HE JUST HIT HIM WITH AVERTICAL SUPLEX ON THAT STEEL GUARD RAIL!

DM: Holy Christ, he’s out to prove something, even if it’s by him breaking Doe’s back. I’m surprised he’s even moving after that!

DT: Benjamin just takes him off the guard barrier and covers, this match is over...

Two...

DOE KICKS OUT!

MN: Performance enhancers!

DM: Either that, or Doe ain’t lying when he says he’s God.

DT: Benjamin is beside himself! He’s picking up Doe but... CHRIST! DOE JUST HIT HIM WITH A CHINBREAKER!

DM: I don’t know where that move came from, but wing-dong-ding-dong, that took Benjamin by surprise.

DT: Benjamin gets up and he’s pissed! He runs at Doe, Doe ducks and... drop toe hold! Benjamin just fell right on his face!

MN: Oh man, this little shrimp either got some good training from Troy Douglas, or he’s doping his blood. I opt for the latter!

DT: I doubt it. This guy survived amnesia, I’m betting his threshold for pain is through the roof, and he’s back up again. Benjamin too, and Doe comes right up behind him and hits him with a big bulldog! They went behind the curtains and are now backstage around the MGM Grand!

DM: I hope they don’t make it into the casino and screw up my favorite blackjack table.

DT: Doe picks up Benjamin and... oh man, low blow! Benjamin just hit him in the groin! Disqualify him!

MN: Why? It was a perfectly legal move!

DT: No it’s not. It’s falls count anywhere, not hardcore rules!

MN: Quit your whining. He hit him in the inner thigh.

DM: INNER THIGH~!

DT: Doe is doubled over and Benjamin hits him with a DDT! He covers...

One...

Two...

Thr... NO! Doe kicks out! Where’s he getting it from?

DM: Prayers and vitamins?

MN: A-ha! Vitamins!

DT: Shut up! Benjamin’s got him by the head and slams him HARD into the wall! Doe’s busted open! Benjamin’s not done yet though, he’s tossing him into the men’s room!

DM: BATHROOM ANTICS~!

DT: Indeed, he’s throwing him around into a stall, got him by the head and he’s... oh no...

DM: SWIRLY TIME~!

MN: Hah, Doe’s back in high school!

DT: This is a dark day for wrestling everywhere, but Benjamin’s not done yet, grabbing Doe, whips him into the sink... OUCH! Cover on the bathroom floor...

One...

Two...

NO! Doe’s more absorbent than a bathroom sponge! Benjamin picks him up and tosses him out of the bathroom.

MN: Hey, Big Daddy English, leave him in there, I gotta go take a Big Loafy later.

DT: Will you shut up? Yours Truly’s got Doe by the head, puts his head underneath Doe’s pit and... Northern Light suplex into a bridge...

One...

Two...

NO! Doe kicks out again!

DM: Great move by Benjamin, but what resolve by Doe. This kid may not be an offensive powerhouse yet, but boy can he take a beatin’.

DT: Benjamin’s picking him up, but... OH MY GOD! Doe’s got a hold of him! He just drove him into that garage door! Benjamin’s staggering, Doe takes a step back and... he’s going for the Amnesia Attack but... NO! Benjamin counters with a lariat!

MN: Just die Doe!

DM: That’s not nice there. Funny, but not nice!

DT: Well funny or not, I think we can agree that John Doe is putting up a hell of a fight, even if he’s not putting up a whole lot of... oh my! Doe just hit him with a drop toe hold! How much does this kid have left! He’s crawling over to Benjamin and... RINGS OF SATURN!

DM: This kid is showing a lot of tenacity... like Tenacious D!

MN: YOU BLASPHEMER!

DM: Hey, to me, this kid’s Wonder Boy.

DT: He’s got that hold locked in! But Benjamin’s trying to get up. There’s no ropes for him to break the hold, he’s gotta power his way out of it and... I can’t believe it! He’s up! He’s up! He’s got Doe draped over his shoulders and... DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! THIS MATCH HAS TO BE OVER...

One...

Two...

Thr... NO! NO! NO! I THOUGHT YOURS TRULY HAD THIS MATCH WON!

DM: I’m amazed to.

MN: Come on ref, stop counting so slow! Big Daddy English deserves better!

DT: That count was just fine, and now Benjamin’s got him up. He’s got him against the garage door and Benjamin’s running in for another lariat, but... OH MY! DOE DUCKED AND BENJAMIN JUST CRASHED INTO THE GARAGE DOOR! Benjamin stumbles back and Doe rolls him up...

One...

Two...

THREE! THREE! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! JOHN DOE JUST PULLED THE MATCH OUT OF HIS REAR END!

[*ding ding ding*]

Tony Fatora: Your winner by pinfall...

JOHN DOOOOOOOOEEEE!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MN: Fast count! Big Daddy English was robbed!

DM: Robbed my ass, Neely, Doe is a scrapper!

DT: I can’t believe what I just saw. John Doe with a certifiable upset... oh man, that was intense.

[The camera picks up a shot of John Doe, who is visibly shocked. Doe tries to feign that he expected the win, but the surprise is obvious. Benjamin, for his part wears a similar shocked expression.]



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[CUT TO: Backstage, we see Dan Ryan exiting his office and starting down the hall when he hears a voice from behind him.]

Voice: Hey boss!!

[Ryan turns around to see Troy Douglas approaching. Ryan turns and stops, awaiting Douglas who stops a few feet away.]

TD: I just wanted to get the chance to thank you for the oppurtunity to do my thing around here. It's nice to know someone from the old stomping grounds is letting my spread my wings and fly.

DR: Well, you know it's all about how hard you want to work. I just present an oppurtunity, it's up to you to take it - and I must say, you've been doing a fine job, Troy. A fine job.

TD: Thanks, boss. And thanks for the shot at the World Title as well. I won't let you down.

DR: You'll do fine.

[Ryan starts to walk away, then stops short.]

DR: Wait, the World Title shot? I thought I told you, I'm giving it to someone else.

TD: WHAT?? WHY??

[Ryan wraps an arm around Douglas' shoulder and starts to walk with him down the hall.]

DR: Well, you've been less than dependable lately and I just can't have you mucking up my main event now can I?

TD: But I won the number one contender's match!! I earned it fair and square!

DR: Yeah, you did. Good times....good times...Instead, I'm gonna book you against Cross in his debut. Might wanna adjust your training regimen.

[Douglas' jaw drops in shock.]

DR: So yeah, I'm gonna go now. Nice chattin' with ya, Troy.

[Ryan turns and walks away down the hallway, leaving Douglas standing dumbfounded.]

[Cut to a commercial hyping up EPW Wrestleverse.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

[The camera cuts backstage inside a very large office style room. Dan Ryan sits back in a leather chair, reclined. On a wall is a flat screen plasma television with the night's festivities giving the owner a private screening. A knock is heard at the door.]
Ryan: It's open....

[The door swings open and former Intercontinental Champion Jonathan Marx steps in, composed but obviously on the brink of losing said composure. Marx takes a few steps in as Ryan leans forward to a normal seated position.]

Ryan: Mr. Marx, what can I do for you?

Marx: I imagine you saw the Intercontinental Title match tonight.

Ryan: I did. Tough break.

Marx: Right...tough break. I want a rematch, and I want it at Wrestleverse.

Ryan: Hmm, that may be a tall order there Marxie. You see, Sebastian Dodd won the right to that title shot fair and square.

[Marx turns his head for a moment, then turns back and locks eyes with Ryan.]

Marx: Make it a three way dance then....as a favor to me.

Ryan: [amused] A favor, eh?

[silence]

Ryan: I'll tell you what, bro. In the short time I've known you, you've managed to avoid pissing me off....so I'll do this one thing for you. Let's make it that three way dance....Jonathan Marx vs. Sebastian Dodd vs. JA for the EPW Intercontinental Title at Wrestleverse. Will there be anything else?

Marx: [Relaxing a bit] Not another thing in the world.

[Marx turns to walk out, but Ryan stops him short.]

Ryan: Jonathan....

[Marx raises an eyebrow.]

Ryan: Be sure in the future you remember this....favor? Understood?

[Marx nods and walks out the door. The camera picks up a smirking Ryan as the shot fades back to the broadcast booth.]



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DT: An interesting exchange backstage has set up a huge Intercontinental Title match at Wrestleverse and one can only imagine how that match is gonna blow the roof off the Pepsi Center!

DM: JA and Marx in the same ring is just a technicians dream come true. Throw in an up and comer like Sebastian Dodd and it's just the topping on the sundae.

DT: Well ladies and gentlemen, this is the one we've been waiting for!

MN: Loafy in a dress!

DT: Indeed, Dan Ryan's twisted sense of humor comes to fruition as EPW World Champion Beast will defend the title against the reigning EPW World Tag Team Champions...while wearing a dress.

MN: Dorothy never looked so good!

DT: Let's go up to the ring!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


EPW World Heavyweight Championship
Champion Must Wear A Dress
Beast (C) vs. Joey Melton vs. Cameron Cruise
["Headstrong" by Trapt starts up as Cameron Cruise comes out flanked by the ever cocky Joey Melton.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen....this match is for one fall and is a three way dance for the EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!! Due to special stipulation, the World Champion must participate in the match while wearing a dress!!!

MN: [snickering]

DT: Oh, you're lovin' this aren't ya?

[As the music continues to play, Melton and Cruise make their way to the ring and slide in under the bottom rope. Melton hops from foot to foot in one corner while Cruise leans back into the nearby ropes before raising his arms in the air.]

TF: Introducing......two-thirds of this match...the challengers....Cameron Cruise.....and Joey Melton!!!!!

[The music fades out as the sound of chanting monks comes in over the speakers. The chanting fades into the opening chords of "Figure You Out" by Nickelback, pyro erupting into the air around the stage. Moments later, Beast emerges......wearing a blue and white farmer's daughter style Wizard of Oz dress.]

MN: AHHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!

DT: Oh man...

DM: Hey, the champ's got some nice legs...

TF: And their opponent....he is the EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!.....BEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Beast makes his way to the ring as the camera catches shots of Joey Melton laughing hysterically and Cameron Cruise looking a little freaked out. The Champ climbs into the ring, glaring directly at his challengers as his music cuts out.]

MN: So uh....we gonna have a referee for this match??

DT: You know, I hadn't noticed the lack of an official in there. Well....well there's someone now giving Tony Fatora some sort of message in his ear. I wonder what's going on with that....

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been informed there will be a SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE FOR THE MATCH!!

[SFX: Loud pop at the announcement - a camera shot catches Beast frowning deeply as he looks up at the entranceway.]

["Heartbreaker" by Led Zeppelin comes over the speakers.]

MN: Um, fellas...I think Beast's bad night just got a whole lot worse....

[Beast's eyes go wide as none other than The Queen of the Ring, Lindsay Troy steps out on the platform, a HUGE grin on her face.]

DT: Lindsay Troy is the guest referee?!? How much is Dan Ryan gonna stack the deck against our World Champion???

[Troy, wearing referee stripes comes to the ring and climbs in. Troy proceeds to check over Melton and Cameron Cruise for foreign objects. Troy lightheartedly strolls over to Beast, smiling the entire way - a hole being stared through her by the champ. Troy checks over Beast, then to complete the check gives him a hard slap on the ass.]

MN: AHHH HA HA HA HA HA!!! THAT WAS GREAT!!

[Beast fumes, his face turning red as Troy backs away holding a finger up to warn him.]

MN: Oh my God! I can't get over big loafy in that dress! This is classic!!

DT: The champ looks none too pleased with the situation and I doubt it helps that Dan Ryan has thrown salt into the wound by allowing Lindsay Troy to referee the match.

DM: Beast better be more concerned with the fact that he has one of the greatest competitors in the history of the sport in the ring with him tonight. Of course, there's Joey Melton also.

MN: Eh?

DM: Joke, dumbass.

DT: The bell rings and this one is officially underway! Melton is leaning up against the ropes on one side and motions Cruise to go ahead. Beast crouching forward, hands on his knees ready for action.

MN: Not to mention ready for the prom....

DT: Cruise decides to step forward and begins a slow circle around the champ, who circles in kind only giving a cursory glance to Joey Melton now in one corner.

DM: Melton's a smart man. He's not a spring chicken anymore, so he knows stamina could be an issue.

MN: Or else he's turned on from Beast in a dress and wants to take some time and let his woody go down.

DT: Nice mental image there....

MN: You're welcome!

DT: Cruise and Beast with the lockup.....Beast takes the advantage and turns Cameron into a headlock....Cruise pushing Beast back into the ropes and holds there as the ref steps in and calls for the break.

DM: Cam won't be able to overpower Beast, so he might as well give up that ghost right now.

DT: Cruise and Beast with another lockup and once again Beast takes the advantage, pushing Cruise back against the ropes. The ref calls for the break again and gets one as Melton starts berating Cruise....

MN: The kid can't even win a lockup! Sheesh!

DT: Lockup one more time and this time Cruise slips around to a go-behind position. He tried to lift Beast up, but can't....Beast with the reversal into a go-behind of his own....Cruise drops to the mat and slips between the legs of the champ and sweeps his legs out from under him!

DM: Nice quickness shown there from Cruise.

MN: Ha! Cruise did something right and Melton's not even looking!

DT: Indeed, Melton seems to be spending more time trying to get Lindsay Troy's attention at the moment. Cameron Cruise stays on the champ, criss-crossing his legs and locking in an STF!

DM: This sort of STF isn't really intended to be a submission maneuver, but it will definitely put some pressure on the back and neck area of Beast to possibly soften up for bigger and better things.

DT: Troy kneels down and asks Beast if he wants to give it up, which he naturally declines as Cruise pulls back on his neck.

MN: It looks to me like Cruise is confused by the dress and might be trying to get him some...[Neely begins screaming] Hey Cam!! It's not really a woman!!

DT: Beast now managing to get an arm out close to the bottom rope and manages to get hold of it for the break.

DM: That's what it's there for.

DT: Beast to a knee now as Cruise goes over to Melton and slaps him on the back. An incredulous Melton reluctantly gets into the ring and flashes Cruise a dirty look before strutting around the ring and throwing a wink in Lindsay Troy's direction. Troy, for her part merely frowns and waves him toward Beast.

[The ringside mic catches Troy's voice..]

Troy: Get over there, Joey! I'm taking this very seriously and you better too if you know what's good for you!

DT: Melton just shrugs as Troy steps over to a kneeling Beast and slaps him on the backside!!

MN: HA!! Did you see that??

[CUT TO: Troy laughing as Beast glares at her, incensed.]

DT: Lindsay Troy obviously playing mind games with her ex...

MN: It's the dress, man. It begs to be mocked.

DT: Beast up now trying hard to ignore Troy as he approaches Melton....here's the lockup....Beast uses that power to push Melton back against the ropes as Troy calls for the break....Beast obliges AND JOEY MELTON JUST SLAPPED BEAST ACROSS THE FACE!!!

MN: WHOA!!

DT: Melton ducks and runs immediately under the bottom rope as Beast surges forward after him!! Beast through the ropes now giving chase....and RIGHT INTO A CAMERON CRUISE SUPERKICK!!

DM: Beast didn't see Cruise sneaking around and he got caught flush on the jaw!

DT: Melton now laying kicks into the champ on the floor! Melton pulls him to his feet and rolls him quickly back into the ring! Beast trying to get to his feet....Melton from behind....belly to back suplex!! Melton quickly going for the figure four and Beast scrambles to the ropes and to the outside for a breather!!

DM: You've gotta be on your toes with Melton. If he gets the figure four locked in, it's all over. He's been making people submit to that hold for fifteen years, including our illustrious owner just this summer.

DT: Beast taking a moment to catch his breath....and finally begins a slow climb into the ring.

DM: Joey Melton is a goofball sometimes, but there's a world of ability behind the act. The champ better keep on his toes.

DT: Beast now back in the ring and locks up with Melton....Melton ducks and slips around the back....Beast swings an elbow, but Melton ducks!! Melton backs into the ropes and comes off ONLY TO HAVE HIS HEAD PRACTICALLY SEPARATED FROM HIS TORSO BY A VICIOUS CLOTHESLINE!!! Joey Melton is reeling and now reaches out and tags Cameron Cruise!

DM: The hell? I don't think Melton realizes where he is right now.

MN: Nothing like a power display from a big man in a skirt.

DT: Cruise in and runs the ropes....Cruise ducks a clothesline and hits the other side....flying shoulderblock!! Beast stumbles back into the ropes but manages to keep his composure and comes back toward Cruise!! Cruise leaps up....HURRICANRANA!!! CRUISE BRIDGES BACK!!

ONE!!

TWO!!


NO!!!

MN: Oh man, my life just flashed before my eyes.

DM: We almost had a new champ!

MN: No, I mean I don't think Beast is wearing underwear.

DT: Beast making it to his feet....Cruise hits the ropes again...and catches Beast with a dropkick to the face as he comes up! Cruise starting to take control!

DM: You know, Cameron is doing what Melton tried to do early on...take control by using his speed advantage. I'm not sure Melton has all that much speed left anymore.

DT: Cruise over to Beast again as Melton continues to lie low in the corner....it looks like Melton's complaining to Lindsay Troy, but Troy is saying there's nothing she can do...

MN: I'm sure I could find somethin' for her to do...

DT: Cruise pulling Beast to his feet....whipping Beast across the ring....reversal!!...Cruise hits the ropes....powerslam from the champ!!! Here's the cover!!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

JOEY MELTON MAKES THE SAVE!!

DT: Beast back up quick!! Right hand to Melton!! Right hand to Cruise!! Right Melton! Right Cruise!!

MN: Loafy on fire!

DT: Beast takes both by the hair and slams their heads together!!! Both men go down!!

[The crowd reacts loudly with boos as Christian Sands steps out on the main stage and begins a slow walk down to the ring.]

DT: What the hell is Christian Sands doing out here??

DM: It only gets worse for the champ.

DT: Sands makes his way to ringside as the competitors inside offer only a casual glance, including Lindsay Troy who frowns but quickly turns her attention back to the action....Beast on top of things....he goes to Melton....Melton to his feet, whipped to the ropes....tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!!! Cruise is up and gets PRESSED UP OVER THE HEAD OF THE CHAMP AND SLAMMED TO THE MAT AND BEAST IS FIRED UP!!!

DM: If either Melton or Cruise plan on making a run at this, now would be a good time.

DT: Beast over to Melton and he starts to pull him up by the hair...Melton with a thumb to the eyes!!! He locks him in and snaps him over with a quick snap suplex!!! Melton out of nowhere!!!

DM: A desperation move but a good one!!

DT: Beast is lying stunned on the mat but Melton isn't doing much better and.....HEY....What's Christian Sands doing???

[A camera shot catches Sands shoving the timekeeper over and taking his chair from him. Sands climbs into the ring and perches himself behind Joey Melton, crouched down and preparing to blast him with the chair.]

DT: Sands in the ring with a chair!! Melton hasn't seen him yet!! Cruise is down!! Beast is down!! Melton is just coming to his feet!!

[A loud pop erupts as EPW Owner Dan Ryan bursts onto the stage in a full sprint down to the ring and slides in just as Joey Melton turns around and Christian Sands swings, but is STOPPED SHORT as Dan Ryan steps in between and holds both hands up to block the blow.]

DT: DAN RYAN STOPPED CHRISTIAN SANDS FROM HITTING JOEY MELTON WITH THAT CHAIR!! RYAN SHAKING HIS HEAD AND WAGGING A FINGER TELLING SANDS TO STAY OUT!! RYAN NOT WANTING ANY INTERFERENCE IN THIS....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MN: I can't believe it!!!

DT: DAN RYAN JUST LEVELLED JOEY MELTON!!! THE OWNER JUST KNOCKED MELTON INTO NEXT WEEK!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!

MN: Look at Cameron!!

DT: CAMERON CRUISE CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! HE'S TO HIS FEET AND HIS EYES ARE WIDE IN SHOCK!!!! HE'S STARING AT THE OWNER!! DAN RYAN LOOKS DOWN AT MELTON WITH A DISGUSTED LOOK ON HIS FACE AND SIMPLY CLIMBS DOWN OUT OF THE RING!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?!

DM: Look at Christian Sands and Lindsay Troy!! Even they don't seem to know what's going on!!

DT: Sands rolls out of the ring!! Lindsay Troy is trying to restore some order!!

[Behind Cameron Cruise, Beast unexpectedly kips up to a thunderous crowd pop.]

DT: BEAST IS UP!! CAMERON CRUISE TURNS AROUND....ABSOLUTION 2K4!!!!!!

DM: BEAUTIFUL!!!

DT: BEAST WITH THE COVER!!!!

ONE!!!!

TWO!!!!

THREEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SFX: Bell rings.]

TF: The winner of the match....and STILL EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!!....BEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DT: What a strange finish to an amazing night of action!!!

DM: Bottom line, Beast hangs onto the title going into Wrestleverse, but who will he defend it against?? Better yet, why did Dan Ryan take a shot at Joey Melton?

MN: More big loafy as champ...yippee.

DT: All of these questions and more hang in the balance as we head to Wrestleverse....for Mike Neely and Dean Matthews this is Dave Thomas....we'll see you all in Denver!!!!

[The camera catches a final shot of Dan Ryan on the stage staring at the ring, then a switch to Beast in the ring - title around his waist and glowering at the owner. Copyright info appears on the bottom of the screen and we Fade to Black.]