(A tremendously large man wearing a blue trash bag as a cape has his back to the camera as he apparently struggles to get a blue mask over his bowling ball sized melon. As he continues to work the mask on a shaking hand holding a little 9mm by thumb and forefinger unintentionally wags the...

Name: Zesty Mordant, aka The Blue Bastard Height: 6'4" Weight: 283 lbs Hails From: Sunnyvale Trailer Park in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia Music: "Liquor and Whores" by Bubbles Physical Appearance: Similar to a larger Mick Foley, but a bit more agile. Wears large coke-bottle glasses that make his...