AND NOW, A MESSAGE FROM THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN WRESTLING... INT. PRESIDENTIAL OFFICE Alex Wylde is standing near a filing cabinet...Elaine hands him a piece of paper and he looks it over. WYLDE "Ladies and gentlemen the WFW is bringing in some outside talent to help drum up interest in the...

Hey...I'm sure you guys would be interested to know this. I just got back from visiting Marty Jannetty's wrestling group here in Tallahassee. I spoke with him for a bit and he agreed to let me do a series of interviews with him for a short documentary film I'm doing for class. He's REALLY...

INT. LOCKER ROOM A smallish, plump white man in his mid-40's walks past the camera. He's wearing a rumpled suit and talking on two cellular phones at once. He looks not unlike Jerry Krause and Roseanne's love child...and about as athletic. In the background we can see steam coming from the...

INT. OFFICE Alex Wylde is behind his desk in his Jersey City Presidential Office, on his office phone. WYLDE"Yeah, so that's a no on the mask. (pause) No...no problem. We'll bring you in like normal. {pause} Either way, I have a feeling you're going to get the job done. Great, bye." He hangs...

AND NOW, A MESSAGE FROM YOUR WFW PRESIDENT... The black screen replays the exact segment where Alex Wylde was announced as WFW President, then turns into the American Flag background. In front is Alex Wylde, dressed in a shirt, tie and jeans. His shirt has a large wet mark on front as he is...

The f-ing people who I ordered a computer battery from like 2 weeks ago still haven't gotten it to me. If I don't get it today I'm calling Gateway's help line and cursing the bastards out.

OORP: My comp decided to break for a week...fear not...I think I'll be okay... AND NOW A MESSAGE FROM WFW'S FIRST PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE... (A silhouette of a jacketed man appears on screen in front of a waving American Flag background.) V/O (female): The 1st Presidential Candidate has been...