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  1. #16
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    Re: ASCENSION ARC Feedback Thread

    103

    FEELING STROPY

    I guess first things first, the cocaine thing was a little odd. DEF certainly has some laxed TV rules in story, given the cursing and etc. And this was later followed up with the potential of investigations of some sort. My main issue with the stunt is it doesn’t do anything to really put Steven’s over or get him any heat… (unless this is the lead in to him falling into a crippling drug addiction, that could be interesting.) But it just comes across like a stunt that I don’t think really does anything for Stevens or the fued.

    Burns is everything you want him to be here and we get a slightly different show open then normal, and it’s good to shake things up every once and awhile.

    OSCAR BURNS VS. STEVENS DYNASTY
    And just like that we are off and running and in the first match of the night. Some of the action in the early going of this was a bit confusing. I had to read it a few times to keep up with what was going on. I would have expected this not-a-match to go a littttle bit longer before the inevitable fuckery would break it up. I like the idea that Angel would come save Oscar and mostly so he can get his match tonight. That being said, Oscar might be spreading himself a bit to thin accepting this match in the first place with another already scheduled in the night. And now we have a triple threat. Commentary calls it pretty perfect, Oscar may be biting off more than he can chew.

    COLOR COMMENTARY
    Gotta get that run down in. Douglas is here tonight? Wait, why am I reading this? … kidding.

    DANDELION VS. TYLER FUSE
    Dandelion looked so strong here I was expecting her to lose. Decent match. I think the commentary is a little stale here, sort of generic. It reads like I remember wrestling game commentary. All the cliches that could fit any match - no other story building comments or etc. That being said this is still a super solid match. I’d just suggest in the future use DDK and Angus more to your advantage in telling the story of the match and feud on whole. Angus especially, he has a very specifically opinionated way about him, while DDK can keep the match on pace and also add as well.

    THE AVENGER
    Solid promo. Pushed the match, hyped the feud and what’s caused the two to class. Made it personal … and sort of business. Mushi’s building intensity/one word (OSU? Is a word, right?) responses punctuate Dante’s rhetoric. Although Mushi functions decently as a face, and Dante is talking like one … something about the mouth for a big man just always feels heel. But like I said solid promo.

    PCP VS DIBBINS
    PCP is always good for a laugh … and then you add the nonsense that is the Dibbins to that mix? Some solidly funny moments in this match. PCP pick up would should have been an easy win but Too The Maxx poke their head’s in on the proceedings and make it a little tougher.

    ACT II ANOTHER MONTAGE
    Great tie in line at the top. Keeping the continuity going. Lotta of people to keep up with in this one, but manageable. It’s tough to type out a montage and this reads pretty well but I do this is read a bit long … that being said this or something like it would be a PERFECT fit on the currently underused Uncut show.

    BREAK THE SILENCE
    “Don’t change the channel, folks,” DEF is currently on HULU and Ondemand sort of service I am told. We can chalk it up to Darren being an old TV guy, hard to break old habits and we do have the commercials now … but that because no one watching DEF is paying for HULU Premium or whatever they call it.

    I always pop for the Lake Placid references. Great segment. Elise and Harmen are set to do it once more, legs vs respect … or at least a hand shake feigning respect. This feud has something behind it, something tangible and makes it feel that much more important.

    THE BRUV SHOW
    Glad that Stevie is still around in any capacity and this segment type great. Hoping to see it again in future arcs. Stevie and Will handled this one and they did a great job. Given I’m involved in the feud it’s pushing, I’ll leave it at that.

    CRIMSON LORD VS MUSHIGIARA
    This was super short and a bit of a tease… but given they are two of biggest BIG MEN in the company - I can get behind that booking. Tease it, get everyone hype but don’t let them have the pleasure until it’s being paid for.

    FLASH FROM THE PAST
    Love the old school quick promo style. Fits these guys perfectly! Solid work.

    BURNS VS. ANGEL VS BO
    Honor boner. I misread something earlier I walked in thinking this was going to be Scott rather then Bo, on some “if you want it done right, do it yourself” kind of thing. I must of read what I wanted to see because that is what I’d prefer here. Heel-nanigans 101? Not a fan of that line. This is a solid match though. There was a lot to juggle here; Stevens Dynasty is using the numbers game on the outside, triple threat situation, the second set of brass knuckles in one night. I think it all plays well, the cheating doesn’t get Stevens the result he would prefer so he goes into what I can only assume is a cocaine fueled rage and attacks the champ. Good tv build for pay per view, the bad guys having smited the good: stand tall as we go to black.


  2. #17
    Join Date
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    Re: ASCENSION ARC Feedback Thread

    Forums are working again, so feel free to post any feedback, no matter how small, for our DEFtv shows, Clash of the BRAZEN, and the most recent Ascension ppv!
    NFW World / LoC Legacy Champion Jack Harmen, Tony Davis, & Mary-Lynn Mayweather
    The Pop Culture Phenoms (The D, Klein w/ Elise Ares)
    NFW | Defiance | LoC | nbW

  3. #18
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    Re: ASCENSION ARC Feedback Thread

    This might be all over the place it's a mix of 104 and Accession

    104
    The showcase of Brazen continues in a fatal five way. Nice write up lots going on and Levi gets some momentum going into Tourney.
    DEFTV 104 - GO TEAM HARMEN
    Jack trying to get the Dibbins on the right page, even brought them a slop bucket...nice touch. Go Team Harmen
    DEFTV 104 - PCP (ELISE ARES, THE D, KLEIN) vs. JACK HARMEN & THE DIBBINS
    The match itself was full of action, surprised Jack didnt take into account Flexy Kruger

    ELISE ARES VS JACK HARMEN
    I by far have not thought of doing this format myself, but the one thing I felt might be a issue would be following it as a reader. Now if I were watching this probably would of seemed fitting for the show. From what I can say about this match is the DEFIANCE CREW are rather incompetent. It was hard to believe that they could not find a cameraman after they lost feed the first time and not get it back rather quickly. Instead it went into a match with To The Maxx and PCP which was a pretty decent length, not to mention a segment with a promo on Clash of the Brazen. So I find it hard to believe they could not find SOMEONE to catch up with Ares/Harmen. Now when I say the little foreshadowing of them possibly showing up during this match I was like ok that's manageable. However that did not happen. There was just way too much of a huge gap between this match for me to really enjoy it. I would get into the match only to not get a ending and be moving to segments in the show. So by the time I was finished reading those segments I had to get back into a matchup I already forgot what happened earlier.

    CLASH OF THE BRAZEN
    This is on my list of reads, and I?ll be beefing it as well.

    To The Maxx Vs PCP
    This was a pretty well done tag match, from the blind tags to the clueless ref figuring out what was a legal tag and what wasn?t. Classic Tag team stuff here.

    ANGEL IN THE OUTSFIELD
    Stevens Dynasty continue to become a thorn in DEFIANCE. This time Angel takes a brutal beating at the hands of Stevens family. Do I smell a bit of retribution later possibly?

    IM IN CONTROL
    Good stuff here by Jay, feeling like he has Douglas's number and tonight both Catalina and himself feel a championship celebration coming on. Good hype up for their match later in the show.

    DEFTV 104 - AMUBULANCES P1 & 2
    Rob headed this up, I was fighting a nasty flu at the time. I enjoyed what he did. Felt my idea might of been a bit too much, this way was a better option.

    CRIMSON LORD VS MUSHIGIHARA
    Hope you enjoy it.

    ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES
    Miss Evans laying down the law against The Stevens Dynasty, Bo and Cary are now banned from ringside well that one less thing Oscar has to worry about tonight.

    DEFTV 104 - CHARACTERS UNLOCKED: THE TOY BOX
    Conor blaming himself for all their failures. Seems they unlocked new characterS and had no idea they were A bad guy & gal

    THE FUSE BROS(C) VS THE TOYBOX
    I wasn't expecting Roland to have Dandy be the workhorse in this match, but it actually worked out perfectly for the story we wanted to get off Conor finally getting his hands on Jestal. I added a few spots but for the most part all Roland and I enjoyed it

    104
    Jay quest to get a soher championship shot, reaches its finale. After Jay trying to make it personal he finally gets Douglas to give him the chance at the title. The whole series was built pretty well and a nice switch from cl/mushi story which we were practically running parallel with.

    DOUGLAS/HARVEY PROMO PACKAGE
    Good hype up for the upcoming match. This type of segment needs to be done alot more. This is always a plus when you give a brief review of everything that has happened between the two this arc. Love these types of segments I did this earlier with CL/Mushi for Burns and Stevens (more of a mentioned).

    SCOTT DOUGLAS(C) VS THE JAY HARVEY
    I loved this match by far the best match thus far. Classic heel Harvey and classic baby Douglas style. Jay was methodical and Douglas brought the fire. Harvey was long overdue for a championship run since his first appearance in UTA. Great write up fellas

    104
    Decent main event

    BURNS VS. STEVENS
    This had a good story with Steven's working on Burns throat leading to the killshot. Have to say I was shocked when I first read the match I did not expect Oscar to drop the title so quickly. I am also surprised the rest of Steven's family did not come out to celebrate with Scott. Maybe get a few pot shots in on Oscar as well. The ending just shows the brutality of Scott Stevens and I dig what the character has evolve to since the UTA days.

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