login  |  Register

User Tag List

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 38
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 1995
    Location
    Top of the Pile
    Posts
    2,189
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFCON is LIVE!!

    Last edited by DBrunkGXW; 08-26-17 at 01:08 PM.
    "Every generation needs a revolution." - Magnetic Poetry (original)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    South Tejas
    Posts
    1,263
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    CAYLE SAYS THINGS
    - Good promo, super happy to see Mushi return in a high profile feud like this.


    FELTON BIGSBY vs CLAY DANIELS / OPPORTUNITIES
    - Loved all of this to absolute death. I’m biased since I created Felton and the NJNP boys but to see their gimmick utilized to perfection like this is really really fun for me. The backstage was straight fire.


    ALLOW ME
    - I have an inkling who this is, and I’m damn excited to see where this goes. The description of Charlie Ace was fantastic.


    GAGE BLACKWOOD vs GUNTHER ADLER
    - Debuting with a loss is ballsy, good stuff. Adler was a half finished idea when I had Chris whip up a micro, the expanded and tweaked bio is stellar. Match needed a little spit and polish I think, some italics, some all caps, the traditional 1… 2… three count, little visual stuff like that.


    IT'S A CELEBRATION!
    - Hilarious, as always. Also a liiiiiittle long, especially considering how enormous the card ended up. We probably all have to start keeping lenght in mind as the roster is growing so fast right now.


    THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
    - Reaper is like a walking talking episode of Twin Peaks at this point. Great promo. I’m quite content being in the middle of this craziness. *thumbs up*


    OSCAR BURNS vs CRISTIANO CABALLERO
    - Loving Burns to death, fantastic character. Good use of a great BRAZEN character, and the match formatting / length were both spot on. We need good babyfaces, Burns is primed for big things no doubt.


    ICE COLD WELCOME (SEE, BECAUSE IT'S NOT A WARM WELCOME... SHUT UP, IT'S FUNNY)
    - Again, Burns is great. And Danny Diggs, seeing as Murr described him as a white Yano Toru, my interest is instantly piqued.


    SO MANY amazingly utilized active NPC characters.


    PUPPET
    - Kendrix is wonderful and perfect in every way and this killed. ‘Nuff said… well, I mean… it MAY have ran a few lines too long, sure. But it was all quality.


    STRAIGHT OUTTA SHAOLIN
    - Love Bruhh Nasty. Gorram invasion of the awesome new characters tonight. AND another awesome utilization of two of my favorites from BRAZEN. BAF shined here too. I’d love to see them hop into a tag title angle at some point.


    A CHANCE ENCOUNTER
    - Well Jamie Sawyers is a little pot stirrer ain’t he? Loves me some manager characters.


    BRUHH NASTY vs SOLOMON GRENDEL
    - A t-shirt bazooka entrance. You win MVP of the night, sir. Good introductory match, good setup for further shenanigans. Perfect length.


    TIME
    - Line of the night.


    Cally:
    Her game was like a real life version of Clue, and she's no Madeline Khan. Of course, nobody is.

    THEO BAYLOR vs ELIJAH CROSS
    - We miiiiiight think about adding some matches to UNCUT, this was a tremendous amount of matches for this show.


    TONIGHT, THE BASTARDS TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS / THE D vs SKIDD ROW
    - The split tag champs is a wacky hook, but the tag division needs some wacky I think. Bare bones, classic promo. Sometimes that’s all you need (especially with a card this long)


    SIT TIGHT
    - PERFECT lenght, well written, well characterized. It’s plain to anyone why these two lovely lads are atop the heap right now.


    SCOTT DOUGLAS vs REINHARDT HOFFMAN
    - Lovely lovely lovely. *blows kiss*


    And then stuff.


    Good card! As I said… wow, lenght. Not even totally people’s segment length but the sheer amount of stuff on this card. I really do think we should skuttle some matches to the next UNCUT as we move forward, if we get into another one of these eight, nine match long cards. Overall good stuff. I’m having a blast seeing the BRAZEN roster come to life like it has been. Kudos fellas.
    I also have creative input in: Felton Bigsby, Viking War Cult, Don Hollywood, MDM4 and a few others... #BRAZEN

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    527
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    Two sittings, too many drinks. DEFtv 85. Written, not read!

    Rundown
    All the alcohol. Angus dreams big. Respect. Also, SIGNS! Short and sweet, did what it needed. Long card, short run down… I can dig it.

    Cayle Says Things
    Angus can be a bit corny. “... perhaps I shouldn’t be so shucked.” Great victory speech from Cayle, quite elegantly put, takes the high road giving it up for Box and his importance to DEF. Great stuff. DDK/Angus throughout this really put the bow on the package. And before the celebration can even come to a close … THE GOD BEAST! Big attack and lays the newly crowned FIST right the fuck out. Cayle is out of the frying pan and into the fryer. Can’t wait to see the rest.

    Felton Bigsby vs. Clay Daniels
    BRAZEN showcase. Or not... ? That’s cool too. Nah, hell of a re-introduction to Bigsby, this time - posse included. Quick and to the punch, clearly this crew is here to fuck shit up. Should be very interesting.

    Allow Me
    Charlie Ace, seems hateable enough. Nice introductory deal. Doesn’t drag on for too long, flashes the faces, shows some personality, etc. I, especially, liked the DDK/Angus bit at the end about knowing these guys. Also, DEFIA-Fans; I think that nickname is already all sewn up but that actually has a ring to it. Also, DEFIA-philes. All jokes aside, good intro-seg. Interested to see more.

    Gage Blackwood vs. Gunther Adler
    DEBUTtv. More BRAZEN guys. Holy shit though, a loss for the debut character. I can dig it! I did the same with Douglas, against Jack Hunter no less. (#newstreak) Always good for a face to start from a negative balance and have to claw his way out. The formatting was a little off here and there but overall nothing too drastic. Can’t wait to see more.

    It’s A Celebration!
    “expect the elephant to be here before eleven” Kevin Smith/Prince story? Either way, good line. Followed by the mice, even better. Not that this matters at all, but I’m confused of her end game. Elephants don’t kill mice, they are scared of them right? I’m basing this completely off of cartoons. Anyway ... Cosby, Hunter … “altoids” that is a winning combination. Got a good laugh out of the three count. Fun read. And The D gets a shot at getting his title back. Can’t see that happening but who knows this feud has had a lot of twists and turns, no oscar.

    The World is Not Enough
    Wrote with Justin, Pete and Evan. Hope everyone digs it.

    OPPORTUNITIES
    Zane is busy tonight. Killer segment. Not much to say other than well put together and this makes the match before hand that much more interesting. Class Warfare in DEF. Brother Owens was on fire with the dialogue and Bigsby with the button. Good stuff.

    Oscar Bruns vs. Cristiano Caballero
    Solid match and debut. I definitely dig the character and can’t wait to see more. The match length was fine but the introductions were pretty heavy. Given it is a debut, can’t complain too much about that.

    ICE COLD
    Dug the Meet ‘em and Greet ‘em deal. Parts of this felt like it was meant to be directly after the match but other parts seemed like maybe it was originally going to have some spacing and had to get switched up. Even the end of the match mentions “running to tell everyone back home” but then it’s straight to the interview stage, but once there it’s “your match earlier tonight.” Which I suppose a few minutes ago is actually earlier … That’s nitpicky shit, more I noticed it than a complaint. Anyway, this is a great first TV segment, Burns is super likable and charming. I like how he ignores the Australian quip. Dig the wit, the subtle humor. Good stuff.

    PUPPET
    Back to back Lance attack. Murrr’s characters tend to have the most well produced segments on the show. Video packages and such. Always reminds me that sort of stuff could be used more. Always dopeness... AND damn, I bought into that one … nice bait and switch, innit? And another one. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop on that speech but at the same time I was thinking how this sort of mirrored Cayle speaking about Box. Good stuff. Loved this. JFK claiming collusion. The Dane/Cayle situation being called into question. Fantastic. Moment of the night so far.

    Straight Outta (the slums of) Shaolin
    The Wu Tang Clan strikes again. The RZA, The GZA, the - Bruh Nasty is amazingly courteous but mean as fuck at the same time. It’s definitely a different voice than I’ve heard on DEF since I’ve been here. And he’s run a fowl with the ol’ chip on the shoulder whiney ass BAF. Good choice, good booking. BAF’s dialogue seems off to me BUT that is only because I didn’t write them like that AND they aren’t my characters anyway so … what the fuck do I know honestly. Overall good stuff, glad to see Jerald back, active and invested!

    A Chance Encounter
    Debut loss and a follow up segment; within the opening description, I love this. Shit and now he bumps into #TheThickness? I don’t think I understood how the heels would be anti-bully until this … Sawyers is slightly delusional and maybe taking advantage of the mentally unswift? Like a evil George/Lenni situation. All jokes aside, the anti-bully gimmick instantly clicked with this segment and it engaged me further with Blackwood, so homerun in my book.

    Bruhh Nasty vs. Solomon Grendel
    “I highly doubt that, Angus. He’s got a bazooka” Coincidentally similar to the Felton Bigsby deal. But in reverse. This card filled up a quick and I know Jerald had to pivot and make his arc work with less matches and with or without that this works. My only question though … How did Solomon get under the ring? He was backstage earlier, so the old under the ring all night practical explanation doesn’t work. BAF are far from a supernatural gimmick so can’t write it off as something in that range. It’s nitpicky and something I probably would question if I was watching this in real time, but given I’m reading it… it raises the question. That being said, solid debut for Bruhh Nasty and a budding beef with BAF. The B-R-U-H-H Man, man, man, man ...

    Time
    Solid Impulse segment. Some good Cally quips. Fills the gaps left by the segments that have preceded it. Good stuff.


    Theo Baylor vs. Elijah Cross

    Super squash and a debut. Quick and easy to read… no complaints here. Looking forward to Theo Baylor.


    The D vs/ Skidd Row

    This had a lot of commentary for summary style and read long for TV. But as I think I mentioned earlier I can’t claim to be an authority on that. The match itself was solid; heels did the heeling and got one over on the face-ier PCP. For the length I was surprised the fallout was one line of commentary. No further action not even a cut to elsewhere. That being said I’m still interested to see who will end up with both titles … or will a third part step in and further splinter the titles.

    Sit Tight
    Innit!? Nice segment between Murray and Kendrix. Clearly we are going to see something from them down the road but Mushi gonna get it first. Murray is on top and well worthy of it and Kendrix is on the field and also well worthy of it. Can’t wait to see what happens.

    Douglas/Hoffman

    Wrote this with Pete, Justin, Evan. Hope everyone enjoyed. Or at this point in the card .. atleast skimmed. Also, my length comments are negated here … Granted alot of this was post match shit but it did run long. But technically a semi-main … so I’m gonna assume I get the past.

    He Is Weak
    This is perfectly placed and set up. Box greeting Hoffman post match. Had to google machine the translation but that worked perfect as well. This was a surprise didn’t see it until the card but just further proof Evan is that dude.

    Reaper/Box
    Had some privy to this one before hand and read it early, and all thought I didn’t write on it, all I’ll say is Justin and Evan killed it. Great main event and even knowing I can’t wait to see how all this plays out.

    Overall
    SUPERcharged DEFtv! This is was less TV and more of a supershow. I’d be interested to know what the run time on something this length would have been. Good job folks. Road to DEFCON is off to a thunderous start.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    161
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    Rundown
    Short and concise. Moves right into Cayle Murray promo. Nice Signs!

    Cayle Says Things.

    Great intro, the commentary tells half the story before Cayle gets in the ring. This is a great tool and an example how you use commentary to gets points across, without having your character spell everything out in a very long promo. Great segment. I enjoyed it. Cayle said all the right (cheesy face) things. Before being flattened by the returning Mushigahara. I love the character so i'm stoked to see him back, and active. This should be great. I do wish we could do something other than the “Hey i just won the title let me open the show and give a speech” deal, as it's done by every champion ever. I get it on one hand, as we all want to have “that moment” would just be cool to see something different happen however. The seg was great though.

    Felton Bigsby vs Clay Daniels
    I loved this. Totally different than what I expected to happen. I know a couple people are taking BRAZEN talent and giving them life, and this is one example. This was a cool read that kept me interested, seems the Bigsby gang is going to be a tough bunch. Can’t wait to see what’s next.

    Allow Me
    I felt like I wrote this for about 2 minutes. This feels exactly like my characters Sawyers and Hightower, so it should be interesting how we differentiate between the two over time. Charlie Ace with his enforcer Hoyt Williams, will introduce a new talent next show… The anticipation is palpable.

    Gage Blackwood vs Gunther Adler
    Good quick match, I agree with the other beef, there were some smaller format/grammar issues but overall this was a very clean and storytelling match. Gage has a different style, almost reminded me of a poor mans Jason Natas. Looking forward to working with Roland and finding out more about Blackwood. The potential is pretty good here.

    It’’s A Celebration!
    Hahahahaha with the bill cosby jokes! “He gave me these altoids from 1978!” Hahahahaha LOVED the dynamic between Elise and Christie Zane. This was terrific and hilarious. It did run a little long, but they had to get all the jokes in! Why leave one on the table when it’s as good as gold!? Bill Cosby! HA! The D vs Skidd Row tonight!

    The World Is Not Enough
    The Rickroll! Great reference! I like the mysterious and confusing way reaper is speaking now. I think it can be toned down a bit as I found myself rereading her speech 2 times or so every time she spoke so i could take it in. Not sure if that's a testament to my intelligence or the writing… Bronson Box vs Reaper!? WHAT? Somehow Reaper is still invested in Scott Douglas, He comes out in response and tells Reaper he’s done. Reinhardt Hoffman comes from nowhere and cold clocks Scott Douglas. This went a little long as well and felt like I had read two or three different segs by the end, I kept looking for titles to break them up, thought I skipped some pages but that wasn’t the case. Good storytelling however. Douglas vs Hoffman should be good match and or feud if thats the direction we’re going.

    Opportunities
    Holy fucking Piss! What an awesome and scathing promo! This was glorious in every way. I LOVED the attitude on Brother Owens! Fantastic. GREAT backstory and great motivation from Bigsby and the gang. Super excited for these guys to be handled full time.

    Oscar Burns vs Christiano Caballero
    Good solid quick match. I said this on DEFcast but Seth has an Uncanny ability to write 10,000 words in 30 seconds. It’s nuts. That said this gave us a great feel for the character and how he will fit in to DEF. excited to see a super clean baby face. No grit or darkness surrounding him. Every fed needs guys like this. Excited to see what Seth does with the character.

    Ice Cold Welcome
    Oscar Burns reacts to his big debut win on DEFtv. Then Danny Diggs from Brazen shows up and the match is made for a few weeks from “today”. Diggs vs Burns. My opinion on burns stays the same with this, see above. Glad to see so many Brazen people in use.

    Puppet:

    I read this a few days ago as Stevie was working on it, and I loved it! The slow, fake Natas play and intro was fantastic. SUPER HEEL. Kendrix dropping some big words and big hints in this one! The fact that he worked of Lance too, is heelish AF. Kendrix goes over his huge win over Natas, then his FIST title match at DEFRoad. Kendrix challaneges Cayle Murray to a FIST title defense at the end before leaving the stage. Good stuff. (Like that the interview stage was used for this).

    Straight Outta Shaolin
    How big is the arena that a brand new guy has his own locker room? With leather couches at that. Christy Zane also seems very unprofessional suddenly. Other than that the segment gives us a fantastic feel for Bruhhh Nasty. I thought the character was a lot of fun. I don’t know if it’s someone I would cheer though. Despite his face status, he uses weapons, swears, and doesn’t have a lot of respect. Sounds like a heel to me tbh. I'm eager to see how his match with Grendel goes.

    A Chance Encounter:
    I wrote dis with Roland. Hope you enjoyed.

    Bruhhh Nasty vs Solomon Grendel
    Great entrance and fun from Bruhhh. This line doesn’t work though:

    Angus: saw him backstage after he got blasted and it was not a pretty sight, by any means.
    That segment was literally 3 minutes ago, and Angus has been at commentary all night… After that this was great, once more the match doesn’t happen as planned and Bruhhh get’s his ass kicked tbh. (Which is easy when it’s 2 on 1) I like this move… It gives Bruhhh some sympathy for the next show, and gives him something to work with moving forward for a an angle.

    Time
    YESSSSSSS! Fantastic interview Impulse gives no fux about the drama. He is here, and ready to fight, anytime, anyday, and anybody! I love it. SUper face promo. Great stuff, Impulse is in a weird spot to me because he feels Bigger than the SOHER at this point, that said, hopefully that shine goes TO THE TITLE in this arc as it could get a hell of a rub from Impulse.

    Theo Baylor vs Elijah Cross

    Wait wut!? LOL. I had no idea this was happening! Murrr asked me a few weeks ago if I minded if he used Theo Baylor for an idea he had with Brazen guys. I had no idea he meant this right here! I was pleasantly surprised to see the UTA’s big boi in a match in DEF! LOVED IT. In a night where we saw 2 matches go to draws or DQs, and we saw one newbie get pinned, another newbie won, this was the only MURDER in the ring so far. Fantastically written. WRESTLEUTA PLUG!!!!!

    Tonight, The Bastards
    This was very good, I thought this was a major improvement from some of the other stuff we’ve seen from Jason recently. I got a bit more of a FEEL for Wildside in this one. Your description had me a bit confused as there are so many moving parts to the stable, that it’s hard to keep track of who’s standing where. That’s small dice as this was the best Bastards promo yet. Loved the “Doesn’t Bother us” schtick. Good googily moogily, I’m actually excited for the matchup. Glad to see you’re finding the voice again brotherman.

    Skidd Row vs The D.

    First thing I noticed was DDK was biased towards PCP. I maybe wrong on this, but I think DDK is supposed to be the unbiased and objective commentator, while Angus is super opinionated. This was a very solid summary style match. Good spots, I like the attitude on Row and his “I got this” attitude. The D performed admirably, but didn’t get a lot of licks in. Skidd Row wins (which is the finish we expected) but the finish is written well, it will be interesting to see how long DEF lets this stable stand ringside for singles matches as that’s like having 4-5 valets who can possibly get involved at any given time. Good finish, looking forward to this feud.

    Sit Tight
    OI OI! This felt very organic. The two have a hell of a report for being mortal enemies which is always fun. It’s nice when you pair people together and it just flows without thinking. Kendrix is such a cunt. I hope we get the “I retired Chris F Hopper at International Affair” schtick but with Jason Natas cause it’s hilarious. Murray grants Kendrix a title shot to be named later, but said Mushi is first on his list. Good schtuff.

    Scott Douglas vs Reinhardt Hoffman

    What a bunch of fuckery! I really like the way this is written, “summary matches” where he intentionally leaves out large sections of match, and replaces them with quick overviews, and only focuses in on the finish and the storytelling aspect of the match writing. Reaper, Impulse, Box all make an appearance before SOMEHOW this one still ends with a pinfall. The referee bump was good, and seemed ok, but this was almost too much going on unless it’s about to lead into a tag match or a Teddy Long situation.

    He Is Weak
    Wish there was a seg in between as the transition is very rough. Box and Hoffman going over their plan with hushed tones. Box wants to make sure Hoffman takes the belt next week while Impulse is hurt and emotional. Simple and effective

    Box vs Reaper
    I see the same thing in this match that I saw in Douglas and Hoffman, i guess the common denominator is Evan :P The summary style sticks out as different but I enjoy it to be honest. I will admit this isn’t a match that I “Wanted to see” so it’s hard to get invested in it from a character standpoint. Reaper Red with the distraction, but Box takes it and attacks him, knocking out the referee in the process. Reaper takes some HUGE hits but keeps on coming. This match eventually develops into utter chaos with a quick ending, Not sure if reaper is working Impulse, or Box, or Douglas still at this point. All i know, is it’s good stuff.

    Great show errrrrbody.









    Last edited by MikeyUnlikely; 06-30-17 at 12:23 PM. Reason: I'm so bold.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    9
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    Wow. Loaded f’n show! Wowza. Also pumped to see Uncut getting some love with 9 reserved segments! Suddenly the roster feels really, REALLY thick. And the lord knows… I’m looking forward to witnessing the thickness. Let’s get to it!

    MATCH OF THE NIGHT
    Scott Douglas vs Reinhardt Hoffman. Well written with a fun ending. More on this whole cross-pollination effect going on in a bit, but yes, my fav match on the card.

    BABYFACE OF THE NIGHT
    Cayle’s early promo was just note-perfect. Every beat. And I popped for Mushigahara’s surprise interrupt. Not too familiar with the character, I will honestly admit, but I absolutely loved it and the beef IMMEDIATELY felt 3-dimensional and something i want to watch unfold.

    HEEL OF THE NIGHT

    Jesus. That JFK segment was money. Cash dollars. I have bought in to the JFK experience, 100%.

    MOMENT OF THE NIGHT
    Just when I think I have the Reaper story pegged, she doesn’t just change the questions - she shreds the quiz. I enjoyed how many threads and characters have been woven into the Reaper deal - not just outside the fed - but with DEF performers as well. Also; I think this show is a great example of that “world building” many of us love to see and the middle-stretch w/ the Impulse tease, Reaper, Douglas, Reinhardt is a fine example of just taking single ideas and tying them together. Fun series of moments.

    Many debuts this show, so…
    DEBUT OF THE NIGHT
    This is going to sound like a copout, but I enjoyed them all. Highlights for me was the really well-written Charlie Ace/Flynn backstage promo and the fun Bruhh intro. If he was firing off “Witness the Thickness” shirts w/ that cannon, I’;d be there. But, shit, a lot of new homies in the mix to learn about and watch evolve. Theo Baylor’s entrance music is gold - loved the squash. Damn. Could go on and on.

    Fun times! Keep er moving’!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    31
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    I googled “Little Bee Girl” for shits and giggles after Paul mentioned in the chat. Funny as fuck! Great Intro!
    This segment kind of sets the tone for the night. The mighty FIST arrives… but, Cayle Murray’s celebration is cut short with the return of Mushi?!!?!? Great job, I really did enjoy the writing here. The God-beast character is going to be a BIG problem for Cayle Murray. Who just got CHECKED.

    Good match length, I like that A LOT, short and sweet intros like Eddie B use to write in SCW. Good STUFF, I’m not privy to the reason Clay Daniel’s got the shit kicked out of him by all those people, but I enjoyed it. Draw some heat for the PPV.
    First ‘actual’ match of the night was OK. It needed a little more snap, crackle, pop!! It was still well written and it had a great flow. Great way to showcase your character!

    Charlie Ace seems like he’s going to be an interesting character. Seems very full of himself and what “STARS” was Ace referring too? Maybe… it’s the dark silhouette figure from the MISSING posters all over the arena? Can’t wait to see this develop further. KAAAABAAALLLLIN!

    Another good match here with Gage and Gunther. I do agree Germans are better than Scots! Gage should have rocked his ass after Gunther won and still proceeded to Charlie Murphy his chest before celebrating. Great length, plenty of action, couldn’t ask for my out of a match in my opinion.

    Whoever writes these characters, I applaud you. *This is my favorite segment on the card****, mainly it was executed perfectly, it had some, NO… TONS of co… is comedic gold. Loved the line about leaving the statue in the car with the window cracked. I will be looking forward to reading your stuff from here out. Don’t let me down.

    The Reapers are coming!!! The Reapers are coming!!!! I’m saying though, Justin… Reaper Bruhh Megatron, I’ll throw one of those Green Bay Packer cheese heads on him for you. It was kind of long, but it was still a good segment. Lots of mind fucking, I’ll be following your story to see where it goes. Had a KAAAABAAAAAL reading this.

    Twists and Turns nice debut! The guys on the podcast seem very excited for your character, so I’m intrigued. You have one of the most interesting nicknames. I dig it! And then, you followed it up with a very great cut afterwards.

    Calico Rose, I fuck with that name, Pete! It’s dope. Impulses segment was cool, sounds like a very honorable champion. You were always an entertaining writer and it showed here. KUDOS on the length too, FUCK this card is long lol.

    GREAT SQUASH MATCH! That’s one way to make an entrance! Great placement after Pete’s segment too. Since Impulse just wants a fair and tough match with anyone including BRAZEN talent.

    Will Scott Douglas ever win a match for fucks sake? Might need to change his name to Lamont Coleman… Either way it was a very well written match. Loved the action and the commentary, it all meshed perfectly. Hopefully everyone picked up on the hilarious, Nick Cannon and the other great references you had during this contest. You sir are a gentleman and a scholar, A1 effort on this contest for KAAAABAAAAL it’s worth.

    FINALLY, we end and much like the show began it ended with a fuckin’ BANG! What a great main event. It basically had everything you’d want in a main event that technically wasn’t really a match. Reaper continues her mind games as Box gets the last laugh dismantling both Reapers before we go off the air. Looking forward to knowing what’s going on with the stories here so I can give much better feedback in the future. Great card all around gents, hopefully it won’t be so fucking long next time! ADE ADE ADE THAT’S KABAAAAAL FOLKS.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    527
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    Uncut 23

    DANNY DIGGS v. DAVIS BLOOME/WOW…
    A match on Uncut! I think this definitely attests to the size and activity of the roster right now and can’t hate on that. SWEEP THE LEG! Solid match. Clearly this is to make Diggs look stronger in going up against Burns and that attention to detail is perfect. And the button of Burns watching and studying. Good stuff.

    THE AFTERMATH OF 85
    Someone mentioned it before in 85 beef, but I don’t see Bruhh having his own locker room this early on. But that being said I have seen others do similar things and given the map of the arena still has questions like Gorilla/Guerilla … I’m not sure which way is up. But Jerald is newishly returned so, I’ll just say peep the map to orient yourself with the Wrestle-Plex. Other than that, this was kind of all over the place, but I know he had to pivot around the roster influx and cards filling up quickly. Overall this works, and introduces Tye Dye, so I’m interested to see if this was a one off or if we’ll be seeing more. As far as Bruhh Nasty, I think there is alot of fun way he could be taken and I’m interested to see the character grow through the arc.

    PROPOSITIONS
    Quick interaction and something is a foot. Interested to see what it will be. Not much else to say about this one. Quite the tease.

    DAYS GONE BY - PART 1
    OH SHIT! An IVY appearance! Eli references as well. VG’s … buy Pete's Book! I did! Haven’t finished it because I’m the worst. But I like what I’ve read. Gleaming endorsement, I know. I liked this, got a lot in and kept it pretty brief. I’ve noted before the first person style is great and especially being the only one using it, it’s such a stand out and draws you in. I’m super interested in Part 2 … clearly this is Impulse pre-DEF, but what the hell is going on here with this mini-fan fest gone sideways.

    A MEETING OF THE MINDS
    Solid segment. Cleary this matter wasn’t going to be settled on TV last week and I doubt it will this week … but this strings things along. Probably my favorite Wildeside promo yet. I really dug the inclusion of Carla. I was questioning it as it neared but it works pretty perfectly in my opinion. I thought we were walking into another Perfection/Sheilds, but Carla stuck to charecter and added another layer to this office seg. Good work.

    EXPERIENCE
    Two Kelly segs back to back. Wish we could have broken this up a bit more. Not really on the writer and more on the staff. “Wait, what’s one higher than a God? Like… Godzilla?” Another returning character, angled toward some Tag stuff… I dig it. That division could use a shot in the guns, sorry… arm … since MV’s and Storm are gone last arc. Great segment. Kelly comes across strong two segments in a row which is great, although as mentioned a buffer would have been cool if we caught it. Good stuff!

    BACK TO THE BAR AGAIN
    From a tossed idea I had a few cards ago, Justin brought this to life. Most of the credit goes to him I just made some edits.

    THE GOOD RING
    More BRAZEN goodness. I always liked that name Mascara De Muerte IV. Good little world building segment. Interested to see if it will carry on any further than that.

    RING AUS EISEN
    Solid segment and sells well for the upcoming title match. As well as showing Hoffman and Adler’s allegiance.

    SHOW ME YOUR HERO
    What is there really to say? Artful. Tricklebish is always entertaining. And if we had to lose the MVs… at least we have this stone cold weirdo. All the poster stuff makes a little more sense now and TBeezy is the one behind it. But who is he going to go after? The roster is pretty light of faces in comparison. My money would be Impulse. But he already has some weirdo coming after him for his heroism.

    GONE FOR THE HOLIDAYS
    Helped Justin with this one. Hope everyone gets and digs it.

    DEF MINI-DOC: I CAN'T MAKE MISTAKES
    Incredible format! I’ve said it before, Cayle has the most well “produced” segments in DEF which or course is a testament to Murrr’s writing. This was a fantastic read and although it has a bit of build to the Mushi deal, more so this just cements Cayle as the top rung.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Philly, bro
    Posts
    99
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    Rundown: These are always well done. Forget who handles them most of the time. Does a good job of setting the scene for the night, providing the information you need shall something BIG happen later on in the show. Also does a nice job of wrapping up the DEFROAD PPV.

    Cayle Says Things: I really enjoyed the underplaying of the chants/songs. Just addressing them with a simple line and following it up with a great character driven description of just what those chants/songs mean to Cayle is great. I didn’t notice until the second time that I read this all the subtle little references to “the world” only for Mushi to come out. Don’t know if that was planned at all, but it gave it something for me. Mushi coming back is obviously good for the fed, I like how our roster has been blowing up. Thrusting him into the ME scene by having him attack Cayle though, just felt strange. Maybe it’s do to the fact that he’s been off TV for a while. Either way I’m withholding any judgement till I see where the rest of this heads.

    Bigsby vs. Daniels: No Justice, No Peace is a mean stable. I’m hoping this continues and we could see some new blood in our Tag ranks. Well done squash. 10/10 would write feedback again. #continuity

    Allow Me: Charlie Ace, manager to the stars. I smell a PCP crossover. It just has to happen right? Good way to break in two new characters, and prep us for a third. Liked DDK and Angus playing along as well, nice bonus.

    Gunther vs. Gage: Gage took a lot of abuse in this one and quickly rolls out of the ring. I guess this is working to put him over as someone who can soak up a lot of damage? Think it did a bit for the character honestly. Interested to see if his 4th Gen backstory plays a part.

    It’s a Celebration: Wish this would’ve been written earlier in the week so I could punch it up but it was great. Everything I thought it would be and more. Good job Billy and Tom. Gonna be a fun arc - again. The length was long but perfect for a PCP celebration seg to me.

    World Is Not Enough: Unenlightened is the new ungrateful, calling it now. I have no idea what to make of this feud right now. I’m very interested to see where it goes and how it all comes together in the end. I just worry about adding too much to the pot, that you might ruin the soup if you know what I mean. Also I feel like somehow this could’ve been broken up into two segments. The one long run on after Hoffman gets involved felt like a whole new segment to me.

    Burns vs. Cabello: Angus quoting Don Quixote is something else. Good match, put over Oscar’s style very well. Interested to see what comes from this character as we move forward. Could definitely be someone to watch.

    Ice Cold: Good segment, showed Oscar’s personality and set the match for next show.

    Puppet: As I read this I couldn’t help but thinking about how well protected the Kendrix character has been in DEF. Makes the babyface rub for whomever shuts him up next - LARGER THAN LIFE. Defiance Version 2.0 was a good touch, but let’s be honest this is like Defiance Version 15.6 at this point! I wouldn’t mention it at all but Juice drilled DEF 2.0 into my head back during the Heritage/Evolution days. Good segment, clear that Kendrix is on his way up. Maybe a bit of a proofread - something I forget to do all the time.

    Straight Out of Shaolin: Immediately rolling my eyes at the title honestly, the Straight Outta… has been played out thanks to the movie. No fault of the writer though, so moving on quickly. I forget who else said it but I couldn’t see Bruhh having his own dressing room. Especially one with a leather couch. Bruhh is also listed as a face. I don’t think popping off with a pair of brass knuckles is exactly a face move. But it sets up a match, so there’s that. I don’t know that Bruhh should be a face in DEFIANCE honestly, but that’s a conversation for another day. Also Bruhh says he has an interview to finish but never finishes it!

    Chance Encounter: Like this segment. Quick hitter. Showed that Jamie is manipulating David, which is something to play with going forward. #CHICKENNUGGZ

    Nasty vs. Grendel: Set up from the earlier seg. Bazooka is a good entrance, need a Bruhh and PCP seg where they discuss that thing. I guess this is setting up a larger feud, otherwise don’t see the point of this. Type of thing that could be shifted to Uncut IMO if these shows continue to go long.

    Time: I like this segment a lot but there’s so many questions. Arguably one of the top faces of the federation and a guy who has built his rep on being a hard worker and a go getter is this late to the show? Just showing up now? And there’s no reason? It seems tiny and small and nit picky, but of course it is. Otherwise I really liked this, got the job done and didn’t need a ton of space to do it.

    Baylor vs. Cross: UTA what is up?! I would LOVE to see Baylor become a regular here. Always thought the character had promise. Well done squash. However if I’m looking at this card, the matches are booked sort of odd. Shouldn’t these lower squashes ideally take place at the beginning with the card building? I know this is super nitpicky, but thoughts just come and go when I type this stuff out.

    Tonight the Bastards…: I wrote this. Hope everyone liked it.

    The D vs. Skidd Row: Also wrote the majority of this. Should’ve made the ending lines longer, sorry about that. Figured someone else would take care of it. Never leave the job half done. Oh well, know for next time. Good work Ford for helping out with the D’s moves. Watched a few Austin Aries matches before writing this as that’s who I’m trying to model Row’s new moveset on. Hope all enjoyed.

    Sit Tight: Jesus, this show is LOOOONNNG. This is a good segment, but Kendrix is beating a dead horse considering he’s saying the same thing he said in his stand alone. Great way to set up the future match between these two though.

    Douglas vs. Hoffman: SIXITH MATCH of the night. No Quimbey to announce Douglas? Odd. No Quimbey for Hoffman, either. We have so many life long underdogs in DEFIANCE, feels like they need one big match together. Good match writing, hat tip whomever took care of this one. Liked the run ins, normally too many would spoil the pot but this was handled well at the end. Good one to advance some stories.

    Weak: Little quick hitter setting up the Hoffman/Impulse jawn next week. Good.

    Reaper vs. Box: I have to admitt when I first got to the screaming and the wild ending I didn’t dig it. Reading it back the 2nd time, it’s much better and I just love Box not giving a damn and going wild. Back to back matches where these two stories have sort of taken a small step forward has me feeling some type of way. But these two main eventing a DEFTV is a good thing as they’re both hardworking folk.

    Overall, really great show. Golden Era type stuff. Keep it up folks.

    Call it fate. Call it luck. Call it karma. I believe everything happens for a reason.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    874
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    DEFTV 86!

    Sorry for the short feedback and not being able to back beef like the best of them. I do what I can. What I can say is you all are amazing.

    SIGN OF THE NIGHT
    REAPER RED IS MY HOMEBOY --- who did this? I'm sorry, I know it's my character but I like the sign. Thank you whoever did it. Also worth mentioning the Missing/Posters through DEFTV 85, I loved those as well. Wish there was a follow up mention of that type of sign in the run down this week.





    FACE OF THE NIGHT
    Cayle Murray is getting the shit thrown at him from all angles. He's THE FIST, huge target on his back and has two men gunning for him. One who is a complete monster and the other of which is probably the best heel in the company in Kendrix. But yet at this point he is still alive and still the champion. I can see what's forthcoming based off the run sheets and the way these past two shows have played out but i'm excited to read how it will all come to a crashing intersection. I know it's coming.


    HEEL OF THE NIGHT
    Kendrix is the obvious contender here and he does deserve it yes. But I can't stop thinking about a little slimeball manager who is acting weird as fuck with two of the top mid card faces in DEFIANCE. So it's a tie. Kendrix because he is a straight beast here lately with his don't give a fuck I will get what I want attitude and LORD NIGEL TRICKELBUSH because I don't know what exactly he is doing but considering I know the handler I am foaming at the mouth to just simply know.

    LORD NIGEL TRICKELBUSH:
    Nor I! Oh, Scott… I know you’re anguished by your past… Everyone can see it. Phantoms taunt you from the shadows… But you can overcome it! All of it! All of them!
    If only you knew how true this was, you kind of do, but kind of don't. This interaction makes the world move to me because it means to me this one has been paying attention. This one knows.


    MOMENT OF THE NIGHT
    WITNESS THE THICKNESSSSSSS!!!!!!! I don't care that it's breaking barriers, I don't give a shit that it makes possibly no sense what so ever. But when I read that Bruhhh Nasty was shooting those shirts out of his cannon I popped.


    Overall and things and other stuff:
    We have a lot of new faces on board either in returning veterans, or new peeps overall. Would love to see what these newer people think of the existing main stays. The stories that are happening, do they make sense? Do they suck? What do you all think? Not even really talking about feedback because my feedback above is just crap. I'm just trying to put something out there because I want people to know I care lol. I can't talk about everyone or digest critique or suggest things for everyone. But I love the participation on the cards.

    I want to see Oscar Burns beat that Danny Diggs ass at DEFCON, like Angus i'm interested to see 'Persona Non Grata’ Flynn Turner just probably not as hype as him. Although i'm confused if he's debuting in one week or two. Either way. You guys rock! Let's see more DEFIANCE dialogue.
    Quote Originally Posted by jayshort View Post
    Triple X: And, don't worry about Jason. He'll keep ending careers, destroying lives, and redefining what it means to be most insane son-of-a-b[BEEP]tch this industry has ever seen in Stalker's World.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    527
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    THE COLDEST OF OPENS
    Ah, yes … the tried and true Earlier Today gimmick. Trunk/boot. A little for the yanks and little for the .. yank-nots? Dante letting it be known last week were merely shots over the bow. Very well written segment. Stellar show open teasing the main event. Not much to say other than that.

    THE RUNDOWN
    Quick, ran the things.

    GOOD LUCK, CHUCK … I MEAN, OSCAR …
    I was wondering why he never corrected Diggs the last time. Kiwi, dammit. Things heating up between these two. Solid writing. Good stuff.

    GAGE BLACKWOOD vs. GUNTHER ADLER
    Good short TV entrance. No Quimbey as dictated in the match writing guide. Pretty good on length but this definitely doesn’t read like a “summary” match. Rather a short move for move match. That being said solid match and I like how this is being built. Very interested to see how Gage moves forward. A cut to elsewhere or being the segment following is Gage as well it’d be nice to see a cut to backstage or something of the sort. Just for show continuity.

    NOT SO CHANCE ENCOUNTER
    Hightower and Sawyer are interesting. Especially Sawyer’s hyper sensitive and overblown SBW (Social Bully Warrior) deal. Good segment and it sets up a match. Good stuff.

    EXHAUSTING, I SAY
    Tricklebish! Fantastic dialogue here. Probably the first pairing of DEFIANCE’s two most quirky characters. This segment was super over for me in entertainment value. Good work, fellas.

    AXIS POWERS
    Pete and I helped with this one. But Evan and Justin did the heavy lifting if I remember.

    OSCAR BURNS vs. DANNY DIGGS
    Quimbey isn’t necessary for DEFtv summary style but I see why he was used to set up the Diggs thing… but I think it could have still played without. Card length is exploding in DEF right now and I think sticking the summary style is more important than ever to keep anyone or everyone from getting fatigued. Anyway, Diggs with the last second swerve and a BRAZEN cat fills his roll. “You dumb Kiwi bastard!” He got the nationality right that time didn’t he? Solid match. Diggs does his heel thing after. Fisherman’s DDT on the chair, which I had to look up. I assumed what it was but wasn’t sure. Very similar if not the same as Fisherman Brainbuster, which Douglas uses. Anyway, solid match the Diggs/Bruns saga rolls on. I like the way this has been set up and laid out. Can’t wait to read more.

    RIDE ‘EM COWBOY
    Christie Zane has been quite the spitfire the past show or two. Very quick segment. Maybe next week we’ll see his Horse with no name. (America Reference. Hate that song.) Odd segment overall, that I for some reason read his voice like Will Ferrell doing a over the top Western voice. Interesting nonetheless.

    SECOND LINE, SNIFF, NO! NOT THAT KIND
    The BruhhBus! Entertaining segment. A clunky line of dialogue or two (What a great idea this was) and something Petey said… but even that was pretty funny. Nasty Load, Mr. Nasty … there are some gems in here. I think the crudeness of Nasty is what makes others feel he may not be a superface… but I think he is just a loveable “street tuff.”

    KYO ISHIDA vs. THEO BAYLOR
    NJNP officially picks up a new running mate and murders a immigrant. Quick match or lack thereof, but definitely shows Brother Owen’s and camp mean business. Felt like ECW’s NBKs meets NofD. They really need BAF to start a rap group and lead them out! Music was off center.

    PERSONA NON GRATA
    Interview stage getting quite the stress test past few cards. I didn’t catch this before but Charlie Ace is super Trumpish. That's good schtick. Angus’ reaction was great. Slow build for this Turner fellow but I dig it. Music cue wasn’t technically formatted right, I don’t know the rule on that in segments though, but I assume it would follow the music note - info - music note deal. Good stuff though.

    BRUHH NASTY & JTD vs. BAF
    It’s Darren, not Dan. And no need for ring announcements on TV (accordings to the summary doc.) Also I already told Jerald this before posting incase he may have missed it. But everyone should go check that out. Beyond that more fun Bruhh stuff, #WitnesstheThickness. Angus has made quite the turnaround on BAF but they are his BRAZEN kids after all and the incident was over a year ago. “I’m legally blind, Keebs.” Solid match. Much like others on the way here I don’t think this is exactly summery style but it isn’t crazy long. Nasty overcomes the cheating BAF, interested to see where he and Tye Dye go next.

    YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING
    Wrote this with Justin, Pete and Evan. Hope you dig it.

    KENDRIX IS A WAZZOCK
    “Como estas, Bellends?!” Kendrix is incredibly cutting. Really dig the “on the breadline” line. Super solid segment. I like the fresh location. I was looking at that map again recently thinking about using the gym in something. Good build.

    DEF TAG TITLE
    Quimbey. Will Ferrell! TBH, I have a hard time following what is going on in the tag title scene, on a micro level. Macro, obvs … I can understand the finish and who has the titles an etc. I guess adding to that this card was the old/new faces. Also the swerve at the beginning clearly was meant to be played as funny but it more like a dickish heel move. I don’t know though because most of that beginning had me lost. Same summary issues as mentioned in other matches but all in all not that crazy long but long ... Solid action and a decent match. Hoping I catch on as we move along.

    AFRAID OF THE DARK
    Paul banged this one out. I think I added three words tops … hope you dig it. Lovely.

    DEPARTURES
    What no FLOWER? Quick seg, some dissension in the Bastards camp. With half of the tag titles playing the catalyst. Nice.

    SOHER: IMPULSE/HOFFMAN
    Helped. Not to come off like a complete hypocrite for the previous comments; this wasn’t in the summary form either and featured Quimbey announcements.

    DODGER
    As noted, a lot, I’m a big mark for JFK. This one didn’t catch me as much. Maybe the length of the card simply fatigued me. That is not to say at all it is bad, this one in particular just didn’t enthrall quite as much as the others have. But that being said it is serve its purpose and get Hendrix's point of view across. Dante’s arrival didn’t really pick things up for me either. It was very info/exposition heavy. Again, served it’s purpose and now JFK knows Dante has it out for him as well.

    ARRIVALS
    MIKEY count, 2? (I’m counting that sign from the rundown) So for every ounce of my “huh” for the match stuff, the two following segs DEP and this one … equally click. Nice and easy. I especially like PCP’s self awareness in reference to their former SEG situation. Probably the most FACE like thing they’ve done since the turn. Less, even, in a wrestling since but in a human being/character type of way. Good stuff.

    OLD FRIENDS
    Was this the continuity gaff Jason mentioned in chat? Seems like it but maybe I’m drunk. I’ll assume it is that jawn and not harp on that, bul. Outside of world building I don’t see what else this segment was for. But possibly … time will tell.

    MURRAY/MUSHI
    Opening commentary hard nice continuity with the entire night. Again to my potential hypocrite-ness, Quimbey is used but I’ve been told the ME gets the pass, so I wouldn’t even mention it … other than to not look like as much of a douche. “Flippydoo fuckery” JFK rearing his well manscaped face with the furniture. “IS IT MY TURN YET, BRUV?” That is pretty great. Albiet short, in the moment blurbs … this is the Kendrix dialogue I pop for. Bruvs, innits, yeahs. I’m all in for the tride and true catchph … words? Great ending, Mushi looks like a beast. JFK isn’t fucking around. Cayle still has the belt … and copyright. Bong. Bong. This show was LONG!

    Great stuff guys. Take everything I say with a grain of salt and with the fact in mind that: I’m normally drunk and not that bright. If you read this … feed the backs! It’s not that tough. Read, say some shit, write or wrong … read more say some more wrong shit, read some more … maybe get something right and then post that shit with reckless abandon!!

    Also: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...goYv0FYW0/edit
    Last edited by BWade; 07-12-17 at 10:10 PM.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    48
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    Great show guys. I was more into this show then the last one, mainly because I think there was so much going on in the last show and there were a lot of new people so found it quite difficult to get into the new characters. However, another week along and I'm more familiarised with who is who and definitely liking what I'm seeing!

    Likes:

    Nice cold open. I enjoy seeing these from time to time as opposed to getting straight into the rundown (not that I'm adverse to rundowns! Like that Cayle is weary/paranoid of his surroundings following the beat down from the last show. thought this was a great seg.

    Lord Tricklebrush has definitely grown on me. Seems to be a bit of a whore though at the moment, going after Impulse and being told where to go by Pulse. Moves onto Douglas and given the same treatment from subpop, but perhaps he won't give up so easily on him. Is anyone else getting the tea drinking character from the Simpsons when Homer is defending his pile of sugar when they think of Tricklebrush?! No, just me probably!

    PCP were awesome in everything they did this show, from Elise's entrance through to the seg with Skidd Row towards the end of the show. Sometimes PCP say a little too much in their segs but this week was gold from them and I'm on board with this split tag champs thing going on with the bastards. Interesting twist this week.

    Another Seg that stood out for me this week was the Douglas and Anderson seg. Nice old time promo from terry and the reaction from Scott is gold. The interaction between these two is great. Impulse comes out from nowhere and finally gets his hands on Box. This was good but thought there was a bit too much dialogue going on during the attack. Good to see Box get some comeuppance for his strike against Cally.

    One thing I picked up on, and purely on the way I am reading things, is that Charlie Ace and Hoyt Williams seem to have the same thing going on with Jamie Sawyers and David Hightower (which I'm a huge fan of, the whole mouthy manager and big bad bully type muscle behind him). However, the introduction of Flynn Turner brings a different dynamic for sure and I am sure I will be proven wrong over this comparison in the coming shows. I am a fan of Ace's segs so far though, says a lot and yet says nothing at the same time, brilliant!

    Another thing I noticed (but I'm sure Jason did mention it in chat) was the continuity issue of Haynes and Coleslaw bumping into Cayle before his match. The way I read the Wildside seg I thought they all got in a car together leaving Skidd Row behind in the arena.

    Match of the night (outside the feud I'm working, obvs!) was the Hoffman v Impulse one for me. Carnage ensues, security everywhere, Reapers everywhere (I'm totally reading Reaper Prime in Rosemary from TNA's voice btw, love me some riddles!).

    Overall, good show lads. This arc is looking great!

  12. #12
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Philly, bro
    Posts
    99
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    Coldest: Murr is on that next level right now. Reads like some of the best RPs I've seen. Cayle's mental state was key here and Murr sold that HARD. Eddie Dante is a character that I've always wanted to become more familiar with and I like the way he was used here. Great open.


    Good Luck: Furthering the bad blood from the last show. Quick hitter. Let's see what happens later in the night.


    Gage vs. Gunther: Quick match. Same result as last time, which is used by Swayer to bait Gage. I like the attention to detail there. Don't like that the match was sold as "short" in character though. Minor thing.


    Not So Chance: Mikey, ya did a good job here bud. World very well to set up the match. I want to know a bit more about the relationship with JS and DH though.


    Exhausting: Lord Nigel has me very confused. I don't know if it's because of things with the STORM or just bouncing around seemingly without a home. I just don't know what quite to make of him. This Missing thing has promise but I'm weary of what the ending pay off will be.


    Axis: Marked for the title but I've got to be honest The Reaper stuff is starting to get too cryptic for me. Good segment here but seems muddled with Reaper Riddles.


    Burns vs. Diggs: Entertaining use of the bait and switch. Good heat on Diggs from this. Like that we've got guys giving BRAZEN characters shine recently.


    Ride 'Em: What was up with Christie Zane here? I don't think this segment played like her at all - from the "shut the fuck up" line which I do understand was a quote, to the "this is a this" line, just doesn't seem like her to me. Also this introduction did very little to introduce or hook me on this new character.


    Sniff: The Tour Bus is a funny pivot away from the locker room but it honestly read a little too inside baseball to me. The use of full names for Bruhh and Ty Dye but then just initials for Pete and Sol was a little jarring to me. Still say that Bruhh is a heel, and could be a GREAT one here in DEFIANCE. I just don't buy him at all as a face.


    Ishda vs Baylor: Excellent use of a quick squash match to set up another player joining a budding stable. Well done.


    Bruh vs. Pete: The header said this one was a tagger but then it wasn't? I was confused. To my earlier point about "inside baseball" the use of the term - Murder Death Kill here, could be considered as such. Just describe the action, or use the actual name of the move, which DDK did right after. Just seeing the phrase used in the writing of a match took me out of the ending a bit.

    You Should've: Good segment, like the false open where you think it's going to ONLY be a Douglas segment and quickly pivots. Good work to keep readers interested. Characters do good work to further this feud.


    Kendrix Is: Good segment. Kendrix is a dick. Little world building. All around good stuff. Nothing more to say.


    Tag Title Match: I wrote.


    Afraid of the Dark: I've covered the Lord already on this edition of feedback.


    Departures: I wrote this.


    Impulse vs Hoffman: Good match, commentating felt like it took over though. The balance is often hard for me to find myself. Felt a tad bit over booked if I'm being honest but I get it. Feel like this whole SOHER feud got pretty scalding hot on this show.


    Dodger: Sometimes it really boggles my mind that Stevie is so new to this game. Segment plays well. I cannot stand Kendrix almost all the time so it works. Works well. Eddie Dante used well too. Good stuff.


    Arrivals: Wrote this on the fly on my own, thus why I had a continuity error. Glad to see it's getting a good face response. That was my main goal here.


    Old Friends: Continuity gap on my end. Just wanted to play out a "What If" segment with Murr.


    Fist Match: Had exciting pacing and action and gets the DQ ending. Well done - predictable maybe a little bit but just well done. A good continuation of this feud, and leaves both ME guys looking strong.

    Show was strong. We should certainly be taking of Uncut more than we have been, right? Maybe a few matches on that for the lower/mid card? IDK. Just free stylin'. Good work lads.
    Call it fate. Call it luck. Call it karma. I believe everything happens for a reason.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    31
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    Well that was fun. Wrote my first match in years only to find out, I did it incorrectly. After further review, it makes sense and it will make cards much more tolerable if everyone follows the doc example. Also seeing as how hardly anyone feedbacks or so I've been told, if you skip me… well, I'm skippity doo dah to you as well. No hard feelings just truth, I'd rather hear my shit sucked or whatever so I can improve rather than crickets.

    First segment was cool, Cayle did act like a bit of a biggity bitch when Dante rolled up on him. But it I guess serves its purpose setting up a fight with Mushi and Cayle for the FIST in the future.

    Rundown is the rundown, lots of laughs blah blah blah.

    Nice seg by Twists and Turns, I really am enjoying your stuff thus far. The hype was real!

    Good match between Adler and Blackwood, from what I've been told there's too much commentary in your match. Still enjoyed it though. Followed back to back Ls with a nice promo which leads to another match for Gage, hopefully he can pop his cherry in the win column soon.

    Goodness gracious, great Kabals of fire.. Tricklebush, very entertaining read from Paul and Pete, I assume they wrote this. Will we ever learn the name of the man from the posters or is it just mind fuckery by the great Paul Brisbin? Only time will tell.

    Reaper Prime and Tricklebush should form a tag team! That combination alone would make for some fantastic segments full of Tom foolery. Still not sure what this segment was all about. His world, my world… Tomato, tomacco

    Diggs and Burns was a well written. I've been enjoying everything from this handler I've read thus far, I pointed out to Brian that even though it was in the wrong format your match was still fun to read, kudos.

    Game Of Thrones a few days away and now we have a man with no name… Jawn Snow is that you?

    Another epic squash match, it looks like Theo Baylor has found some ‘bad company.’ For long cards like these a match like this makes you the real MVP!

    Digging the Charlie Ace stuff, perfect length it was short sweet and to the point. I honestly thought Ace as alluding to a tag team last DEFTV. Womp Womp for me. Flynn Turner is intriguing though.

    Skip my match but Ive taken note that like many people on the card, my formatting is incorrect. Tips hat

    Impulse v Hoffman was entertaining, I enjoyed the match whoever wrote it, lots of action and drama towards the end which spins a perfect web for all involved here. AND PEOPLE stop getting them wet and feeding them after midnight because I swear Reapers are fuckin everywhere.

    Tag Match was interesting, ran a little long but there's plenty of gems in there. I'm enjoying it thus far, can't wait til actually have a better idea about what's going on. Tag scene here looks to be heating up. Keep it up.

    DOPE SHIT! Brian and KAPaul, Loved the dialogue between Douglas and Trickelbush. Looks like Lord Nigel has finally found his huckleberry. It should be a lot of fun reading what you two dudes come up with.

    Departure segment seemed kind of pointless, maybe it's just me. At least it was short, so there's that. Unless it was ironic because Arrivals came after it?

    Main event was well written but that outcome was WWE like with its predictability. No way was Cayle gonna drop the belt and I'm sure after last week Mushi would look weak if he took an L after such a dramatic return. Take the easy way out and DQ. Still should set up something epic in the future.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    515
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    So I’ve found I like to read the shows and jot down notes as I go. So rather than break it down per segment I’ll be making some general comments about the show as we go through.

    There’s a lot of characters, new and established, in DEFIANCE now that I’m unfamiliar with. Mushigihara and Eddie Dante are two guys that I know quite well from the before times though. Mushi always seemed to be one of those characters that was very stop/start, but I can buy him as a contender for the FIST, even if it’s a one shot deal, kind of like how Kane or The Big Show could always be justifiable contenders for the WWE title.

    I’m not familiar with Cayle Murray at all, and I didn’t actually get a whole lot from the opener. It seemed to been mainly Eddie focused though, so that isn’t a huge thing. I’m sure being the FIST Cayle will pop up again before the main event.

    Not the biggest fan of some of the writing in the Blackwood/Adler match. It seemed to open with an almost impossible spot where Blackwood charges across the ring and hits an uppercut. In my mind Adler is pretty much in his corner, back to the ring post, but he’s able to hit an overhead belly to belly suplex? I gave up on trying to get my head around the logistics of that one. I’ve also never seen anyone flip out of an overhead belly to belly suplex. And if that is possible I’d expect some sort of high momentum move to follow up rather than a forearm which leads to the two trading blows. Not meaning to sound like a dick here, by the way, but those two spots really bugged me for some reason.

    I think I’d like to have seen some time pass between the end of the Blackwood/Adler match and the backstage segment involving Blackwood. Just one of those little things that prevents oversaturation.

    Maybe it’ll take some getting used to, but every time I read ‘Sawyers’ I thought it was a plural and was expecting to see possessive apostrophes and getting irrationally frustrated that they weren’t there.

    Am I coming into some kind of mystery? There’s something that doesn’t happen enough in e-wrestling. Interested to see where this goes.

    OK, Bronson Box and Hoffman I know, obviously. But Reaper and all the other Reapers (I believe there are multiple) are an unknown quantity to me. I get the feeling they’re a spoopy/mystically powered bunch. Difficult to strike the right cord with that to keep it effective yet not too cheesy. Seems good here, which gives me hope for the future.

    Good match between Burns and Slaine. Lots of focus on one body part, very nice to follow, very effective. Diggs gets some heat on Burns to close out the match after Burns picks up the win. Textbook stuff and I’m happy to see it.

    Interesting debut for the cowboy luchador. Colour me intrigued.

    Let’s just say that Bruhh Nasty segment was very elaborate. Maybe a little too elaborate. He strikes me a face, but only because of his opponents in the segment. His role could be unchanged, and if the foil weren’t so concerned about getting the same treatment for themselves he would come across as a despicable heel as opposed to a comedy face.

    I like the thought behind the Theo Baylor ‘match’ but there’s no way that bell should have rung. That didn’t need an official decision to be effective.

    The tag team match title definitely threw me to start with. Also there are a few names incorrect here. Dan Quimbey and Carla Ferraro were both mentioned multiple times, which just shouldn’t happen. Shows a lack of attention to detail to me. Bruhh Nasty also got too much shine at the end of the match. He’s already won the match, I don’t think he needed to fight off both members of BAF as well. This is why there seems to be questions over whether he’s a heel or face. Faces get beaten up. That’s what happens. They get beaten up but they win in the long run. All I’ve seen from Bruhh Nasty on this show is him getting multiple ones over on the heels.

    Calling a promo a promo on the show doesn’t feel right.

    This right here, one segment transitioning into another. That’s real. That doesn’t happen enough, but it’s what we see week in week out on RAW and Smackdown. I like it.

    If a segment contains the word ‘Bellends’ it’s going to get my seal of approval. I like Kendrix. Not in a ‘I’m gonna cheer for him’ kind of way, but in a ‘I like reading this guy and someday someone is going to beat him up and I’ll like it’ kind of way. Correct heeling. Bit more character from Cayle Murray in this one, which is nice. He comes across as a clean cut babyface. If that is the case then we’ve had a few of them in DEFIANCE before (Dusty Griffith, Tom Sawyer, Christian Light spring to mind) so I’m looking for an edge to set him apart from them.

    OK, I don’t know if this is part of J Stevenson’s character or something, but a reference to one moment when he attacked Eugene (and going back to the archives it turns out it happened on the first show in the archives which was in 2011) feels like a serious stretch to big the character up. I’m not just saying this because Eugene was mine, but I know it’s not the first time I’ve read that in a show, and if Eugene’s not around it honestly doesn’t strike me as relevant. It actually makes Stevenson sound like less of a big deal if he’s done nothing of note in the last 6 years.

    Decent match, but I think a situation like that with the tag titles where one belt is with one team and the other is with another could do with a recap. Just a couple of lines by DDK and Angus that explain for anyone new reading.

    There’s a lot of action around the SoHer at the moment, and this match was busy. Lots of bodies all getting involved all seemingly having a problem with each other. I can see this leading to a big match at DEFCON.

    More from Kendrix, and more bellends. Lovely. Eddie Dante is exactly as I remember. He pops up, says some stuff that makes him sound like some dastardly evil bastard, then either disappears or grins. I mean, if it’s not broke don’t fix it, but he’s done that twice on this show now, so it doesn’t feel fresh.

    I want to see more of the PCP/Bastard Sons storyline before making a judgement here. I don’t know why Skidd Row is so on the fence when it comes to PCP, but considering he’s so early into his DEFIANCE run (4 shows I believe) I’m struggling to understand why he’s seemingly turning on his team mates so quickly.

    Lots of people want a shot at the FIST. Cayle really seems happy to take on all comers, but 3 people in one show all asking for shots and all being told they’ll get one doesn’t strike me as the done thing. What do you have to do to earn a title shot? Anything meaningful or just turn up and speak to the current champion? This is the top title, it should have some criteria to be met before you can compete for it.

    Anyone wondering how to write their matches, look at the main event. Ideal match right there. Clear, concise and a fun read. The Kendrix run in doesn’t bother me, it seems fitting considering what happened during the course of the show. Was it telegraphed? From a mile off, but it didn’t lessen it at all.

    As for the Charlie Ace stuff, I’m glad it’s being received well. I’m still finding my feet with the character, but I’m please the Donald Trump like mannerisms have been picked up on so early. I like the challenge of introducing similar characters on the surface as someone else at the same time, it’ll be motivation to work that bit harder. I’m excited for where this is going and I’m sure we’ll have different end goals when it comes to the characters.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    527
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: DEFCON Arc Discussion/Feedback thread - DEFtv 85 is LIVE!!

    UNCUT 24

    OPEN/STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES/STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES, I was involved with. Hope you dig it.

    QUEST FOR A PARTNER - I
    "Super Muscle Bros II: Now With More Bro-ing" should've been the title to this. "Team HOSS II: The HOSSening." is pretty great too. Solid segment. Will Aleczander link up with The Guns? I suppose we will find out. Tag div is moving pretty good right now so a new teams is certainly right on time.

    MAN SEEKING WOMAN
    "May or may not have Mike Tyson face tattoo." Fun quick piece. But if Klein no English, who wrote it?

    DAYS GONE BYE - PART 2
    I've said before I dig this style and this was segment was no exception. Even though I've been working with Justin and Pete, I didn't know what direction they were taking this side of the story and it is certainly interesting to say the least. The way this one is left, I wonder whether or not it is the end all be all or if there will be a Part 3.

    THE HUNGOVER
    The new and improved, more human, PCP. Coming off that segment from DEFtv, I don't know if this one quiet hit those same super facey notes but it certainly wasn't far off. Also, Mikey mention count, 2? I think. I was having a tough time getting into the tag title scene though out last and this arc but it seems like it's turned a corner and should be very interesting as we head toward DEFCON.

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •