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  1. #16
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 81 is live!

    UNCUT 19

    FALSE HERO:
    Feels like it has been a long time since we last saw Sweet T, which is a shame, because I like him. Reaper feels very much like the puppet-master here, pullin’ all kinds of strings with the goon squad doing his bidding. The relationship between him and Terry continues to evolve, too, and with the gang targeting Randall Orton, they feel like a yuge threat

    THE REAL ENEMY:
    I love shit like this, when the writer just totally breaks from the standard format. This read like an RP with the first-person perspective. A very solid way to sell Impulse’s regret at what’s been going on between him and Cayle, while realigning his focus to Reaper and the SOHER. We don’t have an “Intercontinental Championship” though, you big silly sausage you.


    MEANWHILE…:
    Holy shit, this is such a great idea! I’ve never seen this done before. Writing a concurrent segment that happens at the same time as another one, but from a completely different perspective. Props for thinking a little bit outside the box there. The content is tremendous, too, and I can definitely put the pieces together as far as “Court’” goes. INTRIGUE~!, baby. You has it.
    DEF: The Murray Brothers, Jack Hunter, Jason Natas.
    LoC: Andy Murray.

  2. #17
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 81 is live!

    DEFtv 83

    THE RUNDOWN… AND THEN SOME:
    Stuff happening in the rundown, oh lawdy. Always good to fuck with the format every now and then. Was a shame Penn wasn’t on the last show, but he comes out shooting bullets, and continuing where he left off the last time. Dane-zel Washington interrupts before it can get too out of control, however. This is a most excellent continuation in this perma-feud, with Dane using Impulse as a proxy, because he can’t fight the prick himself. Loved it.

    ROCK OUT WITH YOUR D OUT:
    The dynamic between the PCPs is good, with Elise still super lazy and dopey, but The D trying to get her to get her shit together, despite being a total dope himself. An effective way to keep Elise out of the match later, which I’m sure must be leading to something.


    MV #1 VS. THE D VS. HIROSHI ZO:
    A decent summary match with a lot going on, as Kazushi shows up, and MV #2 makes his triumphant return, presumably from taking one HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of a shit. This read like a fun, fast-paced TV match, and while it’s hard to go into immense detail with these summaries, this put everyone over, pretty much. Good finish, too.


    BUSINESS WITH THE BOSS:
    Kelly Evans didn’t really feel like Kelly Evans here, which is a shame, but understandable, given the lack of familiarity. This suffered the same problem as a number of Bastards segments thus far, though: too threadbare to be anything more than a means to an end. Needs more FLAVA, preferably of the old skool variety.


    REINHARDT HOFFMAN VS. LEVI COLE:
    Evan did a sterling job with this. Hoffy is one of my favourite guys on wrestling style alone, and I enjoy reading him twisting guys all out of shape. The match is also a perfect length for DEFtv, too, which is something we all need to take note of from time to time. Brutal post-match beatdown shows that Hoffy isn’t just a great technician, but a ruthless bastard too. Wonder who he gets that from?


    MESSAGE RECEIVED:
    Wasn’t really feeling this. I get that Impulse feels comfortable wrestling Penn, but it really sold the main event short, and killed much of its heat from the babyface’s POV. Pulse is a little more laconic than most babyfaces here, but his “meh” attitude did nothing to get me FIRED UP. Reaper’s appearance is welcome, however, and a nice continuation of last week’s brief segment.


    MASKED GEEKS VS. SCOTT DOUGLAS & BAF:
    Shirley Manson is a national treasure… when did Angus become Scottish? Pretty long, this match, but I’m not too bothered because there was a lot of good story stuff within this. The action is very well done throughout but could perhaps benefit from brevity in places, particularly when it comes to smaller movements. Douglas getting arrested is a great twist for the story, and I’m pumped to see what transpires on UNCUT.


    THIS IS IT:
    Buffer’s gonna buffer. Did a nice job of running through the night’s action so far, thus serving its purpose.


    CURTIS PENIS VS. RKO:
    The selling of this match has been lacklustre throughout the evening, but the match itself is strong. A good-ass TV main event. Good pace to it, with no awkward massive chunks of text. Plenty of kicks-outs and shit. Targeting a limb is always solid psychology, particularly if said limb is already injured, and the aggressor is a total shit. I also liked Katze’s involvement, which while impactful, never felt too intrusive. That said, I’m glad Penn mooshed Angus with a backfist, as his affection for Impulse is starting to feel contrived. A new FIST -- what better way to finish the show?
    DEF: The Murray Brothers, Jack Hunter, Jason Natas.
    LoC: Andy Murray.

  3. #18
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 81 is live!

    Uncut 20

    Use Your Delusions Part 1
    What the hell Kelly up to? She's been off screen for quite some time, save last show, but she's clearly been up to something. Her hate for Penn seems endless and clearly something is about to pop. And for a hobbled man Angus is quite the busy body. Boy bye.

    … OSU
    Mushigihara on the horizon. Well written segment. Very descriptive. Quick and to the point but what else do really need for this type of tease. Good stuff. Now we need Mushigihara vs Midorikawa so no one reading can keep it straight in their head.

    ONE YEAR LATER
    New FIST post medical, Cally waiting in the wings. The tape bit was nice. And putting the hard emphasis on a year in works well. Some of the World Title talk and hints at past deals kind of lost me but I'm willing to bet it's foreshadowing to something coming down the pike. If so I always dig little hints stuff that doesn't become clear till later. Good stuff.

    1+2=MV
    MV comes in hot! Wapner, Fudgerunners … this one has all the hits. Especially “--I'm the articulate one--” Also liked 1 getting brow beat by 2 of Cakegate. Overall though just a good quick segment pushing this tag team mayhem going on right now. Which without this would have gone completely unrepresented on Uncut. This feud has alot going on so anytime anyone takes the time to single out their corner of it I think that just makes it easier to get into on the shows.

    Lord of Mercy

    TBizzle back in the place to be. Spooky as ever. Much like I said above cutting out more room in this big revolving angle and all in all hyping up the blow off. I also love the dialogue here. That creepy near backwards syntax. “Ask Those Who Violate. Ask the Second of their number.”

    Use Your Delusion II
    Nice bookend to the opening segment. As Angus goes to “run tell that.” Dane seems unphased by Kelly’s potential coup. And a little Cayle mention in there as well. Good segment, definitely raise the intrigue level.

  4. #19
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 81 is live!

    The Rundown:
    The rundown is fun, week in and week out, i actually enjoy it. This show was no different in that regard, They mention Penn not being scheduled only to have him appear mere seconds later. The penn promo was ok. I was a big Penn fan when he was the SOHER and even immediately after, but this felt a little odd. I get that Penn has won a lot of matches in Defiance, but I never took him as a “tough guy” and it feels like thats what he’s trying to do here. I picture him as the smart, cunning, always one step ahead heel, and he came off much differently than that here. Also I hate the word “Fucking” in promos. I get it’s DEFIANCE and I get it’s edgy, but I think it only works with certain guys. If everyone says fuck, it loses it’s luster, and makes people sound dumber than they are. Penn uses it a bit usually so no big bad rub, but this promo just felt like a different character then I am used to almost. Dane makes the match for tonight, good use of the DEFIA-Tron.

    Natas vs Kyo Ishida

    Good back and forth match, very competitive with Ishida getting quite a bit of offense in including some near falls, all this before being decapitated twice. I wasn’t a fan of the knock out finish, I get Kyo is a NPC/Brazen guy and it hurts no one, but I don’t think it really helps anyone either. Natas is already the “big bad brawler dude” and comes off as tough, I think kicking the face in and dropping for a cover is no different and the only time a TKO works is if it means something in a big match, not on a tv opener. This was good otherwise, and the match was a fun read, just didn’t like the ending.

    Rock Out with Your D Out.
    LOL good short set up segment for the D’s single match tonight. Elise Ares won’t be ringside and Klein…. Well no idea what he’s doing besides Rocking out! Lol. fun stuff.

    Fraud
    JFK taking a little nappie poo backstage before his match. Gotta rest up! This was a fun segment, JFK goes onto explain why Natas doesn’t DESERVE to face JFK. Natas has beaten nobodies from Brazen week in and week out, and JFK will prove he’s better by…..beating a BRAZEN guy. LOL.

    Triple Threat Match

    This was a blast and a very good storytelling tool this week. We not only got to see a hell of a three way match, that I’ll admit was a little difficult to follow at points, but we got the return of MV2. The other Storm member makes an appearance as well and the feud is rocking. Elise meanwhile is the only tag partner to not make an appearance. Not sure how the referee doesn’t DQ the Storm in this one for the interference either, it was in clear view of the referee when MV1 gets pulled from the ring and brawls with a non match competitor. Still, I’m hype for the tag title match.

    Business With The Boss

    This is a classic deal. “Give me a non title match against the champion, and if I win, then give me the shot.” That said this came off a little weak. We haven’t seen much of Kelly recently and her coming back here and basically saying “This team hasn’t showed me anything yet, but sure let’s give them a shot because business” doesn’t really do it for me. I wanna see the guys in the team's personality come out. Cause right now the Bastards havea lot of good hype, but big shoes to fill, I don’t know if it’s the manager, or just the way it was set up here, but this came off a bit basic.

    Peace Offerings:
    Awe they didn’t break up youguiz! I was worried about that. TBH this was a little bit of a rehash from the last episode, I get why it’s here, but its probably unnecessary. This is too deep for a Tv show, especially since it’s the second time they’ve made up, even if the first time didn’t go swimmingly I thought we ended with an understanding. This feels like over explanation. For “Tonight” purposes the end bit worked in regards to Dane and impulse working the title match.

    Hoffman vs Cole
    Nice quick brawl here. Enjoyed Cole when he was in defmax last year so this was a nice “tv reunion” for him. Doesn’t take long for Hoffman to get the upper hand before the beheading. Not a fan of the Marty Scrull fingerpop, only cause we’ve also seen Murrr do this in DEFIANCE. (His match with Eric Dane maybe?). So seeing so many guys use one move that's super over on the indies currently kills the “effectiveness” of it. I’m sure the fingerpop is the new superkick. Hoffman comes off looking strong, especially since I listened to DEFCast prior to the show, and Hoffman was talked about heavily.

    Message Received
    LOVED THIS. Impulse was super focused in on his title match and getting ready, felt very authentic. Then reaper comes in and this one does NOT go over the top. It’s just enough physicality to peak my interest before he leaves Impulse with a challenge for the PPV. Good stuff. This was seg of the night so far and it’s not too lengthy.

    JFK vs Bigsby
    AMAZING. What a fun match. JFK had this thing won 3 ways to sunday only to jerk around and prolong the match for no reason other than cocky attitude LOL. Kendrix about to have the Kross in when Natas theme hits and he marches to the ring, only to NOT get involved (love that) and the Brazen character pins JFK clean in the ring. BEAUTIFUL. Loved this bit, can’t wait for the reactionary seg from JFK.

    Say “Yes”
    FUCK YES. This was perfect. The entire night was leading up to this. I like how the match was FORCED to be made by Natas, but JFK gets something out of it too, Natas will finally get his hands o Kendrix, Kendrix has the opportunity to get rid of Natas foreves. Obvs. Fantastic, I was edge of my seat for the whole bit.

    A Spike and A Fork.
    Love the set up for next week here, we get a good submission match out of it, and see Eric Dane laying in the violence once again. Very good back and forth, and a good way to put Bronson Box on his heels after Murray finds himself in a terrible position. Eric Dane with the save…. Never thought I would say that.

    6 man tag.
    THE CASH IS OUTSIDE! LOL I cried. This was a fun read, it went on a little longer than it probably had to but there was a ton of emotion in this “non match”. I’m glad this worked out this way and the bell never really sounded because it did a ton for the angle. Typically when I’m reading these segments I’ve been getting lost a bit with which reaper is where and doing what. Now that we’ve unmasked one of the three, I’ll admit, it was a bit easier to follow this show. Unfortunately BAF is taken care of quickly in the beginning and Scott Douglas is left to fend for himself, and that's really where this one came alive. I love that you didn’t write Douglas as a “Unstoppable, never say never, John Cena” type character. Instead he just used ring awareness, and cunningness to outsmart the reapers in the early going and thwart them trying to get in on the brawl with MDK and Douglas. Loved the suicide plancha spot and the setup was very good, It wasn’t telegraphed 15 moves before hand like Lucha wrestling is these days. I hate 6 man tags because they are laborious and hard to keep everyone involved. This was fantastic however, and turned my “ready to hate this” into “OMG whats happening next”.

    This is It.
    Michael didn’t do it!!!.... Oh this is something else…. Nice quick recap of the nights big action and the build up for the main event. This wasn’t needed but made for a nice buffer. I like it.

    Main Event Fisting.
    I hate the champion coming out first…Always… but I love heels striking before the bell. That helps. This is a lot of fun, I am enjoying the IN ring work of Curtis Penn a lot here. The slap from the manager, The choke on the ropes with the boot, all classic heel work. Little details make the world go. Not a fan of the multiple pin attempts back to back to back to back. I think after the second one we all knew the match was far from over. HOLYFUCKINSHIT. The title changes hands on DEFTV for the second consecutive time! Great way to close the show.

    Congrats Pete, you deserve it buddy.

  5. #20
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 81 is live!

    HOW TO RUIN A GOOD MORNING
    One document to fuck it all up. Quick segment but definitely heightens intrigue. What is Penn up to. She doesn’t think Dane’ll be happy but as we saw on uncut, she is planning something I would imagine he’d love either. Good cold open.

    RUNDOWN

    New champion’s coronation, so to speak. I do think, for a go home show, some of the normal card talk and last show recap/feud talk would have been good here. Beyond that, Angus’ creepy crush continues and Impulse babyfaces all the way out. The Codename Reaper build stuff is strong, calling first names Impulse seems to know who Reaper is. And of course, the former champ is here. This started off well enough but the Jordan/Lebron stuff, an argument which I’m familiar with and also could careless, just was rambly and danced around the point while repeating it too many times, if that makes sense. But I get what he was going for. Impulse’s cut dry response helps save it. Contract stuff, heel gets the rematch, tried and true. I dug the arm took it/keep it line. The cunt deal works for heat but seems unneeded the way this is already structured.

    YOUR TIME IS OVER
    “Listen, yeah!” I like this format. Nice break from the backstage “interviews” and still let’s the point get across. Kendrix is going for it on this one. Hateable heel with some delusion clearly but also making some valid and irrefutable points. Second trademark smirk of the night, for those counting. This has a very 80’s WCCW/Jimmy Crockett type build as a good bit of what Murrr is involved in does … but I dig that. Everything can’t be a backstory laden blood lust feud. I’m personally taking note! Sometimes you have to just do some wrestling shit, pepper in some shenanigans and build the heat! Which I think they have done here. It helps Kendrix is a great heel and also super entertaining. Natas is a brute and just hot headed enough to feed into JFK’s nonsense.

    MVDueces v. KAZUSHI
    First of all … Tag Team Orgy. Just live with that for a moment.

    Also … “RIGHTFUL AND REGAL LORD of FANNYSHIRE” has this already been a thing and I skipped over it? Holy shit. That is something else, Paul the Bish! AND TrizzleBish on commentary … ah I wish this wasn’t a summary style show. Because if it’s heavy I’ll have to mention it. Even though I want ALL of it (like Cheesey Justin to the Cheese.) Very summarized. I dig it. Got away from it a little bit myself when my past tense was draw into question in backbeef but I think it works. Especially with a nice smattering of commentary to do the real work in the story telling. Great none match. Not to long but very engaging at the same time. MV#1 showing a little bit of bloodlust! Layers, like a muthfucka. Bullheaded MV2 with no heart and the gentlemanly MV#1 in public all HH Gregg … push ‘em and he is HH Holmes.

    Thank God That Hollywood Douche Is Dead
    There are some pretty funny lines in this. Not to mention the - The D jokes. Beyond the humor this felt long and confusing… but I did keep reading so there is that. Especially toward the end it seemed a little mirandering to end with the youtube video set up. I’m interested where that is going and why PCP would trust The Bastards entourage.

    I'M GONNA TAKE IT ALL AWAY
    Smirk three! Although legendary with a high price tag rather than trademark. Being newish around here I definitely appreciate the little character moments from Dane. Gives me a better understanding of who he is, these days at least. Penn’s wince at the hooch was a nice touch and the pouring it out was a nice dick move. Outside of that Penn didn’t feel as effective as much as he felt penchant in the face of too tired to actually be bothered boss.

    EQUALIZER
    Smirks! We’re at four. No trademark nor legendary. I had to look up guffaw. That does not look like it should be a word, in English atleast. But I’ll be damned. This segment is super interesting though, they seem to be jokey and bonded at the top and it descends into name calling and bickering as devilish Dane attempts to pry the wings off of Cayle. And then back again to a sense of understanding … browbeaten understanding but still. Dragonskin. Was that the passing of the ceremonial fork?

    PCP vs. THE BASTARD SONS OF WRESTLING

    Smirk Count! I was hoping that segment would lead to another that would make it make more sense than what I assumed it was going to be. Which my assumption and currently held thought was it was away for Bastards to know PCP’s weaknesses? Not talking shit here I honestly just didn’t get it. From my understanding it just felt extremely thinly veiled at best. The match and it’s finish were fine. Makes sense, Bastards get a title shot with PCP being completely buried. The MV/Storm brawl spilling out worked well for that added extra chaos. All that being said I had a hard time reading this match. I doubled back a lot trying to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I don’t know what a Deathrow Championship is. (Maybe I should, idk.) My biggest issue is with Angus saying a line something like that’s how you get your heat. A little too inside baseball for TV, I think. I know kayfabe is dead and all but not on TV. Mostly. Overall though, big go home match for the Tag Team Melee Arc and now PCP have something to prove. Bastards want the titles. And MV’s and the Storm want to murder each other, which has the most heat. PPV match should be a blow out.

    NO MORE WORDS
    The Natas segment almost pulls a heartstring… if you didn’t know he was capable of near legal murder in the ropes. Just a personal preference I think being pre-recorded studio segments maybe these could have been put a little closer together and would hold a touch more weight. That being said, they are fine where the are and this more so than the first really sells the stakes at hand. Natas is a force to be reckoned with but Kendrix is a pretty decent hand and more importantly super fucking sneaky. I’m sure this match will be all the pages and chocked full of awesome.

    CAYLE MURRAY vs. REINHARDT HOFFMAN/THE LAST STRIKE
    Great match! Competitive and entertaining. I almost wish the NO ROPES thing came out of this rather than being announced earlier. And really sells the potential of Cayle going to the darkside. Is a submission match no DQ, though? Or did I miss something. Wouldn’t the rope be a foreign object? Nevermind, I did. Slater told to be loose with rules. Subtle, didn’t click the first time. Strike that other stuff. But I’m not erasing it. So, there's that. Anyway … Wait a minute!

    Nice tease on the new gear. Box is just fantastic. I pop for “fookin’” alone. Then the fork; a little telegraphed given the night but … still a big moment. Almost as if to say put the fork in Box he is done because Cayle has gone to the darkside. Next Cayle seg has to be titled “Beyond the Cayle”

    MAIN EVENT
    “Seriously, Keebs… I’m ready to just go home.” A Cally and Katz cat fight! And Hector goes on the list. This one breezed by and I got a little caught up in it. Impulse tapped? Holy shit. Penn does the Penn thing and the clearly drunk by now boss comes out! PPV title match? Big ending. Nice touch with the feed cutting before the full good night. DEFRoad, lets go!

  6. #21
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 83 is live!

    DEFtv 84

    HOW TO RUIN A GOOD MORNING: A decent little cold open. Not much to sink the teeth into, obviously, but a real twist following Penn’s title loss last show. Pretty much perfect.

    THE RUNDOWN: My god there’s shit happening in the Runny D again~! Wasn’t feeling the shooty/meta bullshit with Angus and Keebs regarding the Impulse praise at the start at all. Totally unnecessary. Impulse’s promo is good, humble, and what I expected it to be. Curtis was fine, but I miss the old Penn, when he was just a whiny, insecure dickhead. Feel like he’s lost part of what I liked about him by becoming so assertive lately. The rematch clause is literally my least favourite wrestling trope, but this segment does succeed in setting up a hot main event.

    YOUR TIME IS OVER: Stevie did a good job with this. Bit of a different format from mine, which is perfect. Here, Kendrix basically just takes one or two rudimentary questions and runs with it. I like that he’s going SPR SRS now, because this is a high stakes feud, and his bluster will be needed if he wants to win. Nice to see this contrast after the jokier stuff he was doing with the SEG.

    KAZUSHI VS. MASKED VIOLATOR #2: I didn’t realise that Nigel was the LORD OF FANNYSHIRE. Lovely stuff. This was good. The STORM/Violators storyline has been excellently written throughout the teams’ respective tenures. “The Stinky Blur” Masked Violator 2 is one of the best lads in all of wrestling. What a beautiful mess of a match. Right up my street as a reader, and the shambolic finish keeps this thing moving.

    THANK GOD THAT HOLLYWOOD DOUCHE IS DEAD: Hate the Ric Flair references at the start. PCPs banter was fun as always. Liked Haynes misinterpreting their banter/taking it too seriously. The basis for this segment is solid, but I’m wondering how much people who aren’t familiar with Haynes/Unlikely would get from it, as it approaches the topic very coldly. Fourth wall stuff wasn’t funny enough to be necessary. All-round, this was kind of mess and all over the place, as one minute Haynes is getting aggressive, and the next it’s story time. Didn’t get much out of this.

    I’M GONNA TAKE IT ALL AWAY: The logisitics of this segment were fine, as it sets up something that happens later in the night. I got an odd lack of chemistry from Dane and Penn, though. I think it’s because much of the segment was Penn talking at Dane, rather than with him. The bear-prodding is good, but Dane’s stoicism just made Penn seem like a babbling lunatic, rather than crawling under his skin.

    SCOTT DOUGLAS VS. CODENAME: REAPER: A good start with the Reaper promo, but he feels very disconnected from Impulse at the moment. This relationship really needs more interaction directly between the duo, regardless of Impulse’s FIST exploits. The stuff afterwards was good, with MKD furthering the DEF Road angle. Big fan of the “arrest” storyline and again, I’m looking forward to seeing how it unfolds.

    PCPs vs. BASTARDS: Very cold intro from the announcers, no use of Darren Quimbey either. Quite a lot of jumping around tenses going on throughout the match, which made for a jarring read. Remember to keep everything in present tense. Once or twice is understandable, but the problem is present throughout the whole match. Good story continuation with the interferences, and I like the Bastards getting the win to set-up the title shot. The action here was fine, but the announcers lacked in personality, and the victory was very poorly sold at the end. A good match held back by some pretty major flaws.

    CURTIS PENN VS. IMPULSE: A very good TV main event. Nothing negative to say about it, really. Good action, good length, good work from the announcers, and I like that Impulse actually tapped out, too. Really maniacal stuff from Penn, not releasing the hold and all. Excellent promo from Eric Dane to set up the PPV title match. No complaints -- this was the best thing on the show.
    DEF: The Murray Brothers, Jack Hunter, Jason Natas.
    LoC: Andy Murray.

  7. #22
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 83 is live!

    How to Ruin a Good Morning
    Kelly Evans got an envelope from Penn’s attorney! FORESHADOWING!

    The RunPulse
    This gets going and Impulse comes out almost right away. Angus’ love for Impulse makes sense on paper, but is a little over the top in practice I think. Angus doesn’t feel like the same character I got to know a year ago. He leans face a lot lately. Good promo from Impulse doing all the normal facey things when you win a title, thanking the fans, and thankful for the opportunity. Then Curtis Penn comes out, and cuts a much better promo than last show. This one wasn’t terrible. That said I HATE, HATE, HATE, rematch clauses. I don’t even use them in UTA because they make for a repetitive product. If I just read a World Title (FIST) match, the last thing I want to do right away is read the rematch. I get why it’s done, but it’s a weak premise that was adopted from WWE and even they are not consistent with it.

    Your time is over

    Glad to see Kendrix shake hands and form Dynasty with Lance Warner. Great segment from JFK. A little lax on the comedy side and a little deeper and serious then we are used to from the Chosen one. I liked it. I also liked how he stretched out one question from Lance over the course of the entire interview. JFK a man of few words (LOL). #HollywoodBruvLuv

    MV 2 vs KAZUSHI
    WOW! This match surprised the shit out of me! Loved it. Angus and Lord Nigel were “Lovely” on commentary (pun intended). They were my favorite part, I actually really enjoyed the summary format presented here, a little heavy on commentary but it was a great addition to the story, no qualms whatsoever. The finish was a lot of fun and Angus constantly hating the fact that he’s the only one seeing a pattern…. Classic. Loved this bit. The lights out, thunder and chairs gimmick is fun.

    Thank God That Hollywood Douche Is Dead
    This segment kinda seemed to be all over the place. I love that my character is still being mentioned so there's’ that. PCP trying to sneak by them was good comedy, but unless this is a trap that will pay off later in the night, this seems super weird for the teammate of the tag team the champs are facing to “hang out” with PCP and “give them hints”. Looking forward to a potential pay off.

    AfterTheFact note: So I thought Will Haynes and the bastards were faces, After reading this and leaving the beef, I was told otherwise and when I checked the roster, sure enough they are all heels. That KIND OF changes the narative on my feedback as I thought it was a face doing heelish things, and it’s not. That said, it’s still an odd segment but now that I have this information, it’s less confusing for sure. I assume this is DEF setting up something.

    Im going to take it all away!
    I enjoyed this one. Thought Curtis Penn came off better here than he did earlier in the night. His cocky attitude breaking through again which I’m glad to see. It was an odd encounter as there was no real reason for the seg other than to stir up the angle (nothing wrong with that)

    Douglas vs Reaper
    Am I wrong or is this the 750th match between these two? There’s a such thing as “too much of a good thing”. That said, i should probably read it. FUCK it didn't happen. So i'm a douchebag for saying all that stuff. Nice swerve here, I'm not a fan of the multiple reapers. I believe it takes away from the mystique now that there are multiple people with the same “powers” and look. I am ready for the blowoff to this angle and to see what comes of it, also ready for both guys to move onto other feuds. Impulse vs Reaper has some heat but that angle is so convoluted with Curtis Penn, and Douglas, and MDK, and 2nd Reaper, and Angus… wait…. I don’t think this was a bad segment, but it kinda felt like the Undertaker doing a DX gimmick and doing a “imitation”. IDK. I'm not mad at it, it just didn’t work for me.

    Equalizer!
    YUS! This was good. I’m hot and cold on Eric Dane lately, sometimes he comes off as cocky and aloof just there because it’s his fed and needs to have an opinion, and other times he comes off stern, smart, and calculated, where he’s got a message and an awesome roundabout way of delivering it. Probably just some rust on Justins side, as i think it’s getting better week in and week out. This one was very calculated and smooth. I enjoyed it. Cayle Murray is in weird wrestling limbo right now. He’s a facey face, the faciest of the facies, and he’s taking hints and counsel from one of the dirtiest of all time, Makes me wonder about a heel turn, but i doubt it. AHHHHHHH I love when i don’t know what’s going on.

    PCP vs BASTARDS!

    The entrances were good! Unique this week due to the passing of Chris Cornell and The PCP bit was fun as hell. Question: Why does Angus hate PCP still? They turned face and sent Mikey away, but Angus is rooting for the bastards and wants PCP ded? Color me confused by that logic considering Angus sucks Impulse’s wiener every show since Mikey lost the SOHER. Holy shit this thing went long for a summary match. Where the hell is Will Haynes after his buddy moment with PCP earlier? Then did nothing in this one? The interruption is ok, but this match has Vince Russo written all over it. SOOOO MUCH GOING ON! I like that the tag teams are involved and have stuff going, and a big angle, but this feels like a mess. The Storm and MV’s have a solid story, and I get WHY it’s bleeding into Bastards and PCP but it feels like a lack of continuity.

    No More Words
    YASSSSS. Great promo from Natas. I wanna go hit a punching bag after this one. Makes me wanna hit someone in the face. Love this feud. It’s very organic clashing of personalities. Much like Box/Murray or Douglas/Reaper. This was straight fire from Natas. Loved the bit where he admitted he MAY HAVE made a mistake in putting his career on the line. Thats real talk and we don’t see it enough through overconfidence. Great tough guy promo. Jason Natas comes off as “not the sharpest” and I like that. Makes him feel more common man.
    Hoffman vs Cayle.
    Really fun match, a little longer than summary style but it’s a special stipulation. Quite a few typos. You cannot win 5 different ways, you only win with submission. Thought this was a very good idea to wreck the ring and have the ring used as part of the finish. Good Stuff, knew the fork would come into play after the earlier segment, and my god was it good! Beautiful stuff from Evan and Murrr. This was great. Hottest feud in the fed. Very angle heavy.

    MANE EVENTZ
    How did this match start with no one in the ring? Isn't that the thing…? Actually a very good match once things got rolling. I liked the commentary and the back and forth action. Impulse was attacked before the match started and they carried that spot throughout with call backs to the cheap shots. Good finish, good match, enjoyed getting the managers out of it and making it one on one. I hate the title change for one show, i don’t think it did much of anything except “fill the card” but Penn is finally on the uptick with me after this one. His promo was credible and real, and the finish was good. Looking forward to the PPV match with Dane and Penn. was hoping to see some Reaper in here, to keep that story going but no dice. When did Penn start doing a Duke Dibbins Chick’n Wang!? It’s not even on his moves list! Good stuff, and a nice way to end the show. Much more up on this one then last week's ending.

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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 83 is live!

    Hello Feedback friends.

    How to ruin a good morning: Bit of a different opening to what we are usually accustomed to. Liked the suspense in this "what does the letter say dammit?!"

    The Runpulse: Was super keen to see what Impulse's first promo as champ would be like and this didn't disappoint. Penn comes out with the good old "i was ill" type excuse. Rematch clause inacted (i'm a fan of a rematch clause, I must say...fuck you mikey and murr, lol).

    Thank God that hollywood douche is dead: So, I love pretty much everything PCP do and I've always been a big fan of Will Haynes in UTA, but honestly, this seg didn't do it for me. I felt like there was too much wackiness and a bit weird that haynes would give pcp the low down on his boys...and that PCP wouldn't suspect anything of him for doing so. I don't know, just didn't get this i suppose. Love all three characters though so I'll let it slide this week!

    I'm going to take it all away: I bloody love a chair swivel, a bit of expensive scotch banter between Penn and a cool and calculated Eric Dane. I loved this. Pure confidence from Penn. Dane is calm, just lets him say what he wants to say, almost as if he's heard it all before, like water off a ducks back, and knows what to expect from the main event...or does he?

    Equaliser: Honestly don't know what's happening here. I'm expecting a heel turn but then I think, there's no way, Cayle is super face...but week by week Dane is slowly influencing the scot more and more. Reading this, I just knew the fork was passed onto Cayle, whether he used it or not remained to be seen...which he apply uses against Box's attempt at a post match attack. New side to Cayle. Looking forward to see if he embraces it or not. Also, nice finish to the match with the rope choke on hoffman.

    All in all, matches were ace. Looking forward to Douglas v MDK and finding out hopefully about this feud turns out, it's been a long time coming (in a good way) just feel this story needs to end, especially as I think Douglas has a whole lot of potential to be a huge face for DEFIANCE, but it all depends on his history and hopefully we get some reveal on this at the ppv. Penn regaining the Fist at first made me question why the belt would change hands so quickly but then thinking things through, this makes things on tv shows moving forward all the more unpredictable, especially since this rarely happens (i've never seen this quick change of title in the two years I've been doing this).

    Looking forward to the PPV

  9. #24
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 83 is live!

    DEFIANCE Road is up, baby.

    http://defiancewrestling.com/results/167

    Beef the dacks!
    DEF: The Murray Brothers, Jack Hunter, Jason Natas.
    LoC: Andy Murray.

  10. #25
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 83 is live!

    So I'mma be feedbacking all the things I missed in the next 24 hours. Starting with DEFtv 81!


    The Rundown

    I maintain that the first sign actually says "An Impulse to save Uncle Eric." Does its job. Little strange transition with Keebs saying that we're "going backstage" - which we do - but in the format of a match.

    Danny Diggs vs. Petey Garrett

    Also, the reference to Garrett and Grendel going to "Guerilla" - I proofread for formatting and coding, not for spelling (we're all usually pretty good at that). I'm pretty sure you're referring to "Gorilla" - is that a thing in DEF since Gorilla Monsoon didn't exist as a WWF road agent? Years ago the CSWA got around that by referring to 'Gorilla' as "The Hot Zone." Do we have a similar alternate? Regardless, it was a non-match that served its purpose, reintroducing Midori to DEFtv and getting his setup with Scott Douglas properly moving for the arc.

    Fight Now Plz

    Awkward transition from the ring to the ring. Probably should've had a backstage thing or a commercial in between. We could probably posit that there was a commercial. Content-wise, this was a really enjoyable spot from Kendrix as he's now alone. And now that he's got no Guild behind him, it's the perfect time for Natas to settle up with him. Good firebuilding for the future.

    Cally Rolls her Eyes

    Murrr and I wrote. But I am a huge fan of the title.

    The Ones who Do the Challenging

    Interesting segment. Typically there are 'lynchpin' characters in a fed, IE if you turn on this character you are now a heel, etc. Mikey should be one of those "if you turn on him you are now a babyface" types but the mic spot from the PCP doesn't really say that to me. But it was a good spot, and Nigel's appearance to hype THE STORM was a welcome respite - and it successfully transitioned the PCP away from SEG, which I don't really feel happened with their defeat of the Bruvs.

    PCP vs. The Storm

    Dug the impromptu...ness of it. Also liked the MV appearance, it spoke to sort of a rejuvination of the tag team divison at the time which is always good.

    Heel bruvs

    JFK and Bronson Box? Yes please.

    Ownership

    Awesome heelness from Penn. Dug the tease to a match with Dane even this early.

    Box and JFK vs. Natas and Squiddy

    This is how to further a feud without having a one on one match. And it has the added bonus of unconnected people wrestling. WHO KNEW?!? It was a surprise, though - having JFK pin Natas despite the fact that they're a current feud. Foreshadowing?

    The Bloody Bastards

    Intro seg. Does its job.

    Impulse vs. Reaper

    I co-wrote.

    Deal with the Devil

    Intrigue. I'm curious.
    "Every generation needs a revolution." - Magnetic Poetry (original)

  11. #26
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 83 is live!

    DEFtv 81
    As a rule I don't reply to feedback anything other than thank you for the feedback or something similar. Only reason I make an exception now is because this is more of a technical issue that should be ironed out sooner than later. I have in the past and as recent as the DEFRoad referred to the "Gorilla Position" as the "Guerrilla Position" or as "Guerrilla" because that is what the map of DEFarena designates that area to be called.

    I thought Pete and I had spoke about this once in a chat while working on something but I went back to check and couldn't find it, so maybe I just drink too much. Highly likely. Either way, I don't expect him to remember that now ... and again I can't stand when people reply to feedback(it always just sounds like excuses,) if people didn't get what you were going for ... then you didn't get it across it well enough. Douglas/Reaper; it's happened to me.

    Again only reason I reply to this is, much like Pete suggested, we may need to come up with something else. Or agree that the actual spelling as opposed to Gorilla Monsoon's spelling is fine.

    Otherwise I'm going to keep calling it Guerrilla. Which I have a tough time spelling ... most times.


    DEFRoad


    Rundown
    PPV Package was hot fire. Nice little addition to the rundown which did it’s running in and generally downward direction. Covered the bases and didn’t take up too much time on what is been rumored be to a long ass card. So I can dig it! Also, "HOW MANY REAPERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?!" None, they turn the lights out with magics.

    The SCW/I Will Be Worse/CAYLE MURRAY VS. BRONSON BOX (NO ROPES MATCH)
    The re-cap video package was great. I don’t think of all matches this one really needed and more build or hype but it just re-affirms how long this war has raged and how crazy this match is about to be. Kicks off the card with a nice professional touch. Good stuff.

    Enough is enough and Cayle isn’t going to take it anymore.

    The interview segment shows Cayle is fired up and ready to step out from his brothers shadow and claim his place at the top. I think the piss and vinegar was definitely there but dude stabbed another dude with a fork last week … no amount of talking is gonna top that in showing the levels he is willing to take this too. That being said his talk of his own personal sacrifices and his families was a nice touch. Puts a little heart behind the whole thing so even once he is potentially doing heinous things he still won’t come off completely evil or unjustified.

    The match open was a perfect summation of what just played before. DQ interrupted by the chants and then eventually reading out the rules was perfect. Clearly stated rules are great in non-traditional matches. And the at any cost tag, the drama is real. Cayle coming from the crowd “angry, pissed-off, focused, DEFIANT.” Great line.

    Holy shit, that was a ride. A violent murder fest of a ride. I’m not sure if the word match is apros but hell of a fight. I was unsure of the no rope deal but it works. Pulling the ring apart was perfect! As soon as that started I knew they’re had to be some hole spots and this didn’t let down. I assumed Cayle would go over but there are some moments while reading this that it is really unclear. The dramatics and the build were super on point and the post match talk and reactions were perfect. If this had been an 80’s movie it would have ended with Cayle freeze framed mid post match scream. Highly enjoyed.

    And holy SHIT that's a long match.

    THAT HAD TO HURT
    A little fall out, a little set up. Quick segment and effective. Clearly, Impulse is not going to take an action like that against Cally lightly. Got a good chuckle out of the pollo line. Segment had me expecting the triumphant return of some Drunk Bros bar stuff until Box duff’s Cally, but maybe beers in the hospital waiting room? This card could use some brevity here and there.

    PCP VS. THE STORM VS. THE BASTARD SONS VS. THE MVS (LADDER WAR)
    “Keebs, I’ve gotta be honest with you - I don’t know how much more of this hype I can take.” Clearly Angus is already nearly as gassed as I am reading … but I’m also drunk so … there is that. On to the match! But first … ZIP LINE Entrance for the win! The MVs are always fun and this gets it going from the start! I feel like the Angus would have had something to say about the Zip Line though, at least to fill the time gap. Also zip line entrance is amazing and Angus hates fun things. From what I have seen. “somehow already crusty harness.” The segway entrance and The D pointing out the Zip Line … gold. Good work. I never spend much time talking about entrances but since I just did, Bastards was super thin on any type of description and pretty heavy on commentation which honestly is fine, but Angus seemed off in that area. The Storm’s was a short a sweet but DDK had a monologue after their announcement. More importantly no Tricklebish or cardboard cut outs .. half credit. I was hoping Klein, once disappearing into the smoke after that brief appearance, would be it. He’s is just gone and lost somewhere in the French Quarter on a runaway segway. Because, funny. But I imagine he’ll come into play later. Found it odd the first ladder came from under the ring. Thought being a ladder war there would be atleast one already out there. “The world needs to see me fuck Keebs.“ Holy shit! PCP’s playing it smart is a good touch, a little heelish but PCP hasn’t been face that long I guess and habits die hard. A lot of action. I had a hard time keeping up at first but took a break and when I returned; man this is crazy. MV1 going BACK to the zipline? Awesome. Damn I hate to see MV’s and the Storm to go out like that! I like PCP and I’m not that familiar yet with the Bastards but all that aside I really wanted to see some resolution with MV/Storm. And … NO TRICKLEBISH?! Unforgivable, Paul. The odd bed fellows finish is going to be interesting moving into the next arc. With two teams leaving it gives the tag division something to run on until hopefully we can get a few more teams in. Overall I dug it, solid work.

    DAVIANCE

    Oh shit! Yung Contusions in the house. Hilarious opening. I googled Chip’s Challenge. And Jack Hunter’s wife is named Jack Huntress … because why wouldn’t it be? Mystery guest! I’m not that familiar with UTA but I get the mormon jokes of course. I just don’t know who this guy is but I imagine he going to beat the brick off of Hunter, also the brick out of his cart. Light tubes. There should be a Hunter promo where he re-enacts that youtube kids Star Wars/Light saber fight but with a Light tube. Hightower makes a big impact and is now a DAVIENT! The brevity of this, much like the Cally/Cayle/Box seg is welcomed amongst this Odyssey and Iliad of a card.

    KNOCK'EM BACK

    Cayle is alive it seems. Dane’s appearance clearly means something is going on later but what? Intrigued. Not much to say about this other than … Good segment.

    JASON NATAS VS. KENDRIX

    Solid opening, quick catch up for anyone uninformed. Oh shit, the DOC, I didn’t expect to see that again. Sports Entertainer, big entrance. Natas sprints to the ring. Perfect. This gets pretty brutal straight out the gate. Natas isn’t fucking around and JFK wants nothing to do with it. That small package was great and almost felt like it could be real (pause?)… but just based on length alone I knew there was no way that was about to be it. I always forget the J is Jesse and when I read it, it takes a moment to remember. Not a note on the writing just my swiss cheese memory and poor reading comprehension. “Kemdrix”! Hell of a match. This really puts JFK over huge. Not just ending the career but to a submission at the that. And of course any good heel has to get a cheap shot in afterward. I wonder what happens to the DOC post this… I know that div was tough to keep moving forward but the appearance of the beaten and battered title does make you wonder. Sorry to see Natas go but he just skyrocketed Kendrix, which is a fantastic move. That character is a great heel and has been super over with me since I got here. A lot of difference a “year” can make.

    Bravado
    Iris is busy tonight. As expected Impulse is hot and will, eventually, demand satisfaction when he finds Box. Good quick segment. Picks up from the other and gives a little insight on Impulse’s mindstate going into the Reaper match. Will it be a factor?

    Baggage Claim

    Wrote it with Justin.

    Reaper/Pulse
    I’m clearly close to this one so I won't drone on much but I saw very little of this before and had no hand in it’s writing so I will say. I don’t know why but I don’t remember the DQ stip at all! Luckily it’s spelled out pretty well in the opening and referred to a few times beyond that. “... the unfortunate end of a HOSSing.” That should be the title of Nata’s farewell segment. Solid match, Impulse sold the arm quite a bit. Reaper looked strong but in the end drops the title. The suplex finish was a bit of a surprise. The reveal and promo after read well. I knew it was coming so the impact of it I’ll let someone else comment on. I was expecting a little more reaction out of Impulse who seemed to think he knew who Reaper was. But at the same time he sold the shock and awe of it. Overall though I enjoyed it.

    I Know You
    There is the reaction I was hoping for. Super short but … perfect. Raises a gang of questions. Dope.

    Spyin’
    Man this whole card is either long in the tooth or short in the … legs? It’s an extreme card of extremes. I dig it though. Dane is funny style with Cayle in the medbay and now he is calling for Pulse, post match. Something is a foot. Tooth, leg, foot. Nailed it.

    MDK/Douglas
    Wrote it with Reapy Justin, hope everyone digs it.

    Who Are You

    Helped.

    The Call
    Based on length alone, the calls gotta be Dane. I like the Mikey fake out though.

    Curtis Penn/Eric Dane
    “You don’t come out last in Eric Dane’s house!” nice line. Penn’s entrance is thin, I expect that to mean this is going to be another epic; in length if nothing else. DAT INTERRUPTION DOE! Ladders? DEF must buy in bulk for the discount. Oh shit, tables and chairs as well. Love Angus getting his revenge, punny joke and all. The game done changed… Disappointed JFKs phone call wasn’t Mikey but … this is pretty big. Nut shot aside, can the fresh champion win against three of the most battered and bruised on the roster. Determinator. John F. Kendrix? Jokes? I just said something about the Jesse deal. Also never heard the term “greener” before but its both very descriptive and disgusting. Kudos. Some solid callbacks and mentions of what the surprise tro has gone through before the match. Super Duper Friendship Gang needs t-shirts. That finish? I don’t know why I didn’t see it coming … but it makes sense for the way things were laid out. Now … I wonder post title if Dane will continue to try to influence Cayle and after some push back start trying to force him into more unsavory borderline heelish things … start lording the whole thing over Cayle’s head like owes him. Very interesting.

    OVERALL:
    LONG! So long. But also very good. I enjoyed it and for a arc that had some small missteps and some turn over, this REALLY brought it home. Good job everyone, I hope this momentum continues on into the DEFCON arc.
    Last edited by BWade; 06-08-17 at 05:40 PM. Reason: Credit where it's due

  12. #27
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 83 is live!

    DefRoad

    Was super hyped for this show to come out and boy, it didn't disappoint in any way, shape or form!

    Cayle v Box: This feud has been going on for a long time, and the package and promo "I will be worse" was on point. Great set up. Both the package and the seg made me realise/reminded me that this feud has been going on for a good year. The fact that I've not gone off this feud in that period of time is amazing. I have a short attention span as it is, the fact I've been sold on this the whole time speaks volumes to the great work both men have done with this feud. The match itself? Holy shit! What a start to the ppv. I had no idea how a no ropes match would work but it was absolutely brutal. I was wincing reading some of the spots in this some sick moves. Murray proving he can go that extra edge, liked the new entrance and change of attire as well, nice touch. It's another massive scalp for Murray at a PPV and I can't wait to see how Box bounces back from this. Top work Murr and Evan. Only thing I had against this was that it was the show opener. How on earth do people follow this!

    That Had to Hurt: Was a little surprised to see Cayle being able to speak so coherently after probably the most brutal match I've ever read. So felt slightly odd to me with Cally bouncing around with her enthusiasm, but I suppose it was leading to something, good old punch in the eye from the War God for Cally. Is this the start of a potential feud between Box and Impulse?

    Tag Ladder Match: Zip Line and Segway Entrances, I love our tag division, right now! I full on laughed out loud at PCP's segway's flashing with the word "segway". Ridiculous! Great match again, flowed really well, which I think is difficult to maintain with so many handlers and in this case tag teams. Was a fun read. MV1 on the zip line was a great spot, so was Klein getting his box dented. Good to see Haynes and Klein get involved in what is effectively a no DQ match so nice touch. Personally, i'm not a fan of the split tag champs, I've seen it before in Utah, didn't really pop for it, but it certainly adds an interesting dynamic so I'm interested to see what the guys do with this moving into the next arc. Dissapointed not to see Ticklebrush in there also but hey ho.

    Daviance: YES! JACK HUNTER'S BACK, THE SUPERBEST, AKA NEW STREAK etc etc. Queue massive beat down from the debuting David Hightower and his spokesman Jamie Sawyers. I like the dynamic between these two, it gives off a similar feel to Heyman and Lesnar. Great introduction from Sawyers. Hunter, despite the streak, is an easy target and Hightower destroys him, absolutely no nonsense. Feel this is definitely the fed that hightower can thrive in! Also, pleased to hear Jack Hunter is settled down with his Mrs Jack Huntress!

    Knock 'Em Back: Forgot we have a Dr! This seg set further intrigue into the night. Murray has more work to do? After THAT match?! That Eric Dane is a slave driver!

    Bravado: Dr Iris now looking after Cally, good to see she's not too badly hurt despite taking a shot from Box, tough little cookie she is. Impulse is rightly pissed but Cally gets him to refocus on the matter at hand, especially with Box out of the building. Effective set up seg from Pete.

    Baggage Claim: Loved this. Great descriptive writing and interaction between warner and anderson, has me wondering what's going on until Douglas shows up. Like Warner's role in this, why is he helping and stepping out of his comfort reporter zone? Then, it's a race against time to get back to the arena. The suspense, will he make it. Top stuff.

    Reaper v Impulse: Hot start to this one with Impulse quick out of the blocks and not wasting anytime and Reaper getting back into it. This match was relatively short (in comparison to what came before it, but that's not a slight at all as it was written well, the 360 flippy do thing was awesome). Loved this quote: DDK:This has been a short and brutal match so far, and Impulse looks ready for it to end!
    Angus:
    He’s not the only one, Keebs.

    I was shocked at the suplex finish myself BUT, this was all about the big reveal after the match. The modified voice is out of here and the reveal is a female's voice, wasn't expecting that at all! Impulse's selling is on point, I'm more into this feud than ever before because this interaction between the two. What the fuck happened between these two? Who is reaper girl's father? So many questions (well, mainly two or three) but I want to know now, dammit!

    I know you: Post reveal interview, Impulse gives a bit more background but not much at all. Short and sweet.

    Spyin: Dane seems to have liked what he saw from the SOHER match and wants a chat with the new champ. Something is afoot here peeps.

    Midorikawa v Scott Douglas: HE MADE IT! At the very last second. Love the pause in the Guerilla/gorilla area (someone tell me the actual name for this, lol) you've literally got one second Scott, get the hell out there! This was awesome, add the Reapers atop the stage, you're just waiting for them to get involved somehow as they have done this whole arc. But they don't move a muscle, much to Angus' annoyance, calling for it the whole time, even demanding for the blackout in the arena! it's great psychology, but its Douglas who gets the win nonetheless. The whole unmasking thing was great, but the decision not to unmask was a cool call here. Douglas is done with this lot, weeks of frustration, I get it. Mido has other ideas though, he's not done. The police come out but not for Scott. This was an awesome end to this match, drama all over the place and this isn't done. WHO DIED?!

    Who Are You?: Simple enough explanation for the seg with the title really. Lance asks the questions and the final "who...who are you" is perfect, the way it's asked is basically how I'm felt as I red this.

    The Call: Right, straight up, I had no idea Kendrix was being used here. Loved the GLUEFIST notification, of course that would be his cell notification sound!

    Curtis Penn v Eric Dane but really Kendrix, Impulse and Cayle Murray: HOLY FUCKING FUCK BALLS! Had No idea my character was involved in this and I'm absolutely fucking delighted that he was! Never been more excited to read a match my character has been involved in, even when I was writing in RP Feds when you don't know the outcome of a match. This had me hooked from start to finish. The start itself was set up beautifully. Love that Angus got some in on Penn after Dane makes the announcement. Penn losing his shit was great selling. So many OMG spots in this. The pacing between the four guys was perfect, each man gave absolutely everything. I'm surprised that Kendrix and Cayle had enough energy left in the tank to take it all the way to the end despite the wars they were in earlier, but i guess in this kind of environment, anything is possible with how hurt the other two could get. Not going to lie, disapointed Kendrix didn't get the fist in the end but it's gone to an absolute beast of a writer in Murr and Cayle Murray deserves it without question. Honoured to be in the mix for this guys, thanks!

    hope everyone enjoyed what myself and murr did for Natas v Kendrix. It's been a pleasure writing with Andy and I've enjoyed the work we've done with this feud. I hope to work a lot more with him in the future cos he's my BAY BAY!

    Great PPV lads! Onto the next arc!

  13. #28
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 83 is live!

    DEFtv 82

    Shit bruv, no fans

    Most intense rivalry of the arc right here. Cayle vs. Box was the best one - but that was long simmering and slow building for over a year now. This is nonstop over the top and it's glorious.

    The Rundown

    It certainly was.

    Impulse vs. Squidward

    Murrr and I wrote

    Let them eat cake!

    Defiance - and the hobby as a whole, can be summed up in this seg:

    Jenkins:
    This place is weird as hell.
    Reinhardt Hoffman vs. JACK HUNTER

    I'm sad that "Dustbin Halfman" didn't get over. He'd be a great tag team partner of Alan Nothing. Still, as a JACK HUNTER match this was formulaic but enjoyable - bad music, nonsensical promo, squash match. That's all you need with JACK HUNTER.

    Codename Reaped

    I wrote

    Bastards vs Thugs

    Decent debut, but completely flat description. Remember, the commentators are supposed to be hyping up the action, and the description should match it.

    SHUT UP, LYKOS

    More feud - building for Natas and Kendrix. As if they needed it. But this is the way to do a short and violent blood feud - just have them keep beating on each other until it's time for a match.

    Let them eat cake, too.

    Not a fan of the "We've already BEEN in DEFIANCE" line - that line to me reads like it's straight out of a "let's trash talk our opponent who got a fact wrong" RP fed. But the sentiment of the segment is great - the MVs are just trying to be nice and the Bastards are being... well... bastardly.

    Midori Sour vs Solomon Grundy

    Some things are misspelled and that makes my brain cry. I don't proof for spelling, just for code and formatting. Should I start? But this was another storyline match - the outcome was never in doubt, this was to further the Reaper saga. Definitely enjoyed Angus' slowly developing (and accurate) predictions on how Reaper's movements occur. He's a vapid goofball but he knows his stuff.

    Scalps

    Dane continues to prepare Cayle for Box with some uncomfortable truth-bombs. Been a great mentor/mentee relationship to see unfold.

    A Call to Arms

    Realistic reaction from the BAF - or for anyone who isn't much of an ambitious go-getter, they got the call to the show, they get attacked at every turn, they want to turn back to BRAZEN. Inspirational leadership from Scott Douglas - he's clearly destined for bigger things.

    Box vs. Natas

    Main event and all, but this went on for a lot longer than I thought it would, considering HOSSFITES are typically short, brutal affairs. Natas looked great though; in victory, magnanamity, in defeat, DEFIANCE. Post - match mic spot sets up the PPV match with Cayle in the only way it possibly could.

    Good show, lads.
    Last edited by User Poets; 06-09-17 at 12:39 PM.
    "Every generation needs a revolution." - Magnetic Poetry (original)

  14. #29
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 83 is live!

    DEFtv 83

    Rundown/opening seg

    I co-wrote with Jon and Justin

    Natas vs Kyo Ishida

    Semi - squash, but I think Natas needed it to get back on the right track on the way to DEFroad.

    Rock Out with your D Out

    Double Entendres with The D. Glad there was a light shone on it but I hope it never ends.

    Fraud

    Kendrix is such an asshole, but the fact is, he speaks the truth. Not the truth of "Natas sucks" but he takes facts and twists them around to fit his own agenda. Simple, but so rarely done anymore.

    MV1 vs. ZO vs. D

    ...MV1 vs. ZOD? Nobody kneeled.

    Setup for the tag title match at DEFroad, with the usual interference and distractions you'd expect from such things. Clusterfuck, and I liked it

    Business with The Boss

    Felt a little better than the match on the last show, but there was still a decided lack of emotion in the writing. With a little more modern-day DEF experience this should no longer be a thing.

    Peace Offerings

    Murrr and I wrote

    Hoffman vs. Cole

    This is the kind of thing Murrr and Evan were talking about on their DEFcast - using the BRAZEN boys for storyline purposes. Hoffman and Cole don't have full time handlers but they have personality and purpose.

    Message Received

    Justin and I wrote

    Kendrix vs. Felton Bigsby

    Third BRAZEN storyline match of the night. Want to see Felton Bigsby get the Barry Horowitz push.

    Say 'Yes'

    He said yes.

    A Spike and A Fork

    The continued saga of Cayle and Dane, featuring Hoffman and Box. I enjoy the Cayle/Dane dynamic but by this point I feel like they're saying largely the same thing in slightly different venues. Maybe by halving the number of on-air segments and implying the existence of other clandestine meetings it would've kept its freshness.

    Midoreapers vs. Brutal Attack Scotts

    Angus:
    Shirley Manson is a GORRAM national treasure!
    Yes, Angus. Yes she is. Another non-match to push forward the narrative. I've enjoyed how the Reaper saga has played on multiple fronts this arc with different areas of attack, and how they all came together at DEFroad.

    This Is It / Penn vs. Pulse

    I wrote, Jon and I wrote.
    "Every generation needs a revolution." - Magnetic Poetry (original)

  15. #30
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    Re: DEFIANCE ROAD Arc Discussion/Feedback Thread - DEFtv 83 is live!

    I wish I had the ability to provide detailed feedback as I have in the past, but here lately my time is all consumed. Any actual typing I get to do on a hobby basis is usually spent on trying to tell the stories that I am currently spinning here at DEFIANCE.

    What I can say is I am extremely happy about the overall outcome of the ARC and as stated at previous junctures some of most exciting moments for me is trying to write something for you all to enjoy.

    I appreciate the positive feedback from those who have provided it as well as those that support the stories outside of just the feedback thread. Our Skype chat is an amazing place and avenue for reinforcement of good ideas and also constructive criticism when needed. I know for a fact that Brian and I really tried to pay attention to what everyone has said about our writing and since we worked so closely together we are constantly talking about where to go with things and what you guys view as our stories progressed.

    Specifically concerning this ARC out of the stuff I was not involved in, I was sad to see what happened to MV and The Storm and I don't want them to leave. The Tag Team Champions being on two separate teams... really surprised me but it makes me curious what happens next.

    Seeing Cayle overcome Box was amazing... I wanted it for so long and now I finally got it. Seeing what is potentially coming between Impulse and Box next is going to be great as well, even if I was privy to some information. What I was not privy to, was what occurred in the main event which shocked the shit out of me.

    The way Kendrix ended Natas' career was simply brutal, I was not expecting it to end like THAT.... although I had a strong feeling that Kendrix was going to end it. I have a feeling that Kendrix will be going for the top title next ARC but I could be wrong.

    Main Event of the PPV and the main event of the entire ARC saw something to me that was completely out of nowhere. From a fan standpoint, that would have been the most epic holy shit wtf moment I have ever seen. Cayle winning the title after such an epic fight with Box earlier in the night... you can't put that moment into words. From a fan standpoint, I am really behind Cayle and that title win. I hope the FIST really shines these next ARCs as it is intended to do so.

    The stuff Pete, myself and Brian wrote. Hope you all enjoyed it, if any of it seem disconnected definitely check out the Uncuts.

    I'm excited to see the two new handlers we have and the possible (returning handlers) that have been talking in Skype.

    Pumped for the future of DEFIANCE and glad you guys are keeping me around even though I can't beef with the best.
    Quote Originally Posted by jayshort View Post
    Triple X: And, don't worry about Jason. He'll keep ending careers, destroying lives, and redefining what it means to be most insane son-of-a-b[BEEP]tch this industry has ever seen in Stalker's World.

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