Published by: Adria Hoyt

Early Wednesday morning at the Kansas City Municipal Courthouse the wrestling organisation know as No Brand Wrestling, and it’s parent company, were served notice of a personal injury suit stemming from an incident at their recent tapings of SLAM!

The late stages of a match between Zed (real know unknown) and Mitchell Quinlan spilled into the crowd. As the two brawled through the floor level seating, security was unable to hold abay fans anxious to be part of the action themselves. Local area fan, David Geller, 17, was one such fan, and couldn’t anticipate being tossed to the ground by a third wrestler, Rune (real name unknown).

The fall left Geller in great discomfort, forcing him to leave the show early. Later, visiting a hospital, he was diagnosed with a bruised hip. This suit seems to be looking to recoup his expenses for the medical care, but Geller insists the damages extend beyond his bruised hip.

“I was embarrassed,” he explained over a telephone conversation. When asked if the fact that the incident occurred on a televised program was his concern, he responded, “not at all. I’m about to blow up on the internet. I’m gonna be famous!” As we probed further, he admitted his resultant fragile mental state had to do with an incident at the hospital.

“I was wearing my sister’s underwear.”

Yes, apparently, Mr. Geller faced a clean laundry shortage earlier in the day. Not thinking that he would ever be made to disrobe in front of a doctor, he broke into his sister’s room to “snag” clean undergarments. His attendant noted the construction, “all frilly and pink with a teddy bear.” In Mr. Geller’s opinion, the worst detail of his entire experience was that the doctor was, “totally hot, too.”

It is expected that No Brand Wrestling will settle this matter out of court. However, I have received word that the man known as Rune has been suspended thirty days, effective immediately for his part in the altercation.

Kansas City Star was first with this story.