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  1. #1
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    DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- FEED YOUR BACKS!! UNCUT #11 IS LIVE!!

    UPDATED: MONDAY, JULY 4th, 2016

    DEFCON ARC SCHEDULE:-

    UNCUT #6:

    Submission deadline: Sunday, 22nd May
    Posting date/"Air Date": Tuesday, 24th May
    Results (on site): http://defiancewrestling.com/results/124
    Results (downloadable PDF): http://defiancewrestling.com/bs3_pdf...lts.php?id=124

    DEFtv 65:
    Submission deadline: Sunday, 29th May
    Posting date/"Air Date": Tuesday, 31st May
    Results (on site): http://defiancewrestling.com/results/125
    Results (downloadable PDF): http://defiancewrestling.com/bs3_pdf...lts.php?id=125

    UNCUT #7:
    Submission deadline: Sunday, 5th June
    Posting date/"Air Date": Tuesday, 7th June
    Results (on site): http://defiancewrestling.com/results/127
    Results (downloadable PDF): http://defiancewrestling.com/bs3_pdf...lts.php?id=127

    DEFtv 66:
    Submission deadline: Sunday, 12th June
    Posting date/"Air Date": Tuesday, 14th June
    Results (on site): http://defiancewrestling.com/results/126
    Results (downloadable PDF): http://defiancewrestling.com/bs3_pdf...lts.php?id=126

    UNCUT #8:
    Submission deadline: Sunday, 19th June
    Posting date/"Air Date": Tuesday, 21st June
    Results (on site): http://defiancewrestling.com/results/129
    Results (downloadable PDF): http://defiancewrestling.com/bs3_pdf...lts.php?id=129

    DEFtv 67:
    Submission deadline: Sunday, 26th June
    Posting date/"Air Date": Tuesday, 28th June
    Results (on site): http://defiancewrestling.com/results/131
    Results (downloadable PDF): http://defiancewrestling.com/bs3_pdf...lts.php?id=131

    UNCUT #9:
    Submission deadline: Sunday, 3rd July
    Posting date/"Air Date": Tuesday, 5th July
    Results (on site): http://defiancewrestling.com/results/132
    Results (downloadable PDF): http://defiancewrestling.com/bs3_pdf...lts.php?id=132

    DEFtv 68:
    Submission deadline: Sunday, 10th July
    Posting date/"Air Date": Tuesday, 12th July
    Results (on site): http://defiancewrestling.com/results/133
    Results (downloadable PDF): http://defiancewrestling.com/bs3_pdf...lts.php?id=133

    UNCUT #10:
    Submission deadline: Sunday, 17th July
    Posting date/"Air Date": Tuesday, 19th July
    Results (on site): http://defiancewrestling.com/results/134
    Results (downloadable PDF): http://defiancewrestling.com/bs3_pdf...lts.php?id=134

    DEFCON:
    Runsheet: http://www.fwrestling.com/showthread...-(11-59PM-PST)
    Submission deadline: Sunday, 24th July
    Posting date/"Air Date": Tuesday, 26th July
    Results (on site): Night One: http://defiancewrestling.com/results/135; Night Two: http://defiancewrestling.com/results/136
    Results (downloadable PDF): Night One: http://defiancewrestling.com/bs3_pdf...ts.php?id=135; Night Two: http://defiancewrestling.com/bs3_pdf...lts.php?id=136

    UNCUT #11:
    Submission deadline: Sunday, 7th August
    Posting date/"Air Date": Tuesday, 9th August
    Results (on site): http://defiancewrestling.com/results/137
    Results (downloadable PDF): http://defiancewrestling.com/bs3_pdf...lts.php?id=137





    GENERAL NOTES

    We’re gonna stick with this thread format for arc updates and feedback, folks. I think it works quite nicely to keep everything together in the same place, so let’s roll with it.

    This is the biggest arc of the year. DEFCON is the season finale and the most important show of the year, so let’s go all-out to ensure we knock it out of the park. I wanna see 100% commitment from everybody -- no exceptions .

    More details as they come.
    Last edited by QueenOfTheRing; 08-09-16 at 01:17 AM.
    DEF: The Murray Brothers, Jack Hunter, Jason Natas.
    LoC: Andy Murray.

  2. #2
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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- UNCUT #6 IS LIVE!

    Welcome
    Nice little intro here, Good job. Quick recap of what happened at the big show, and the title changes. Going to hear from Dane tonight too, hopefully he trashes that title and its the last we hear of it :P.

    Baggage
    Harmony is leaving the Clash show. FDJ bumps into her in the parking lot and helps her again after clearing the ring of the Hollywood stable after her match. Harmony touches on Mikey winning, and FDJ offers up a round or two on him. Before Harmony can accept or decline Johnny Booya shows up and he and Frank begin a barking match before finally FDJ cant hold back. Nice segway into Booya vs FDJ for the DOC title. Hope it goes well .Harmony showing improvement here as well.


    DrunkBros
    LOL JOKES! Jacks Cameo was awesome, and them having a poll on how long he would get tossed lol. Awesome. Murrr touched on this on radio but im so glad to see Natas is a “fun loving”, “blue collar”, normal dude. I was so down on him when I got here and hes completely flipped my opinion. Cali and Impulse are fun characters that fit this bit perfect. Loved the “first you have to tell us you like big butts and cannot lie” line.

    Namaste
    Steven and I had too much fun writing this one. Enjoy.

    New Orleans Airport
    LOL! The timing on this is off as its post Road/Pre Clash but otherwise this was absolutely hilarious. I love how they continued to sell the bags loss even after the fact (the now 0-1 bag). Hilarious bit, Jack can interact with anyone and come out awesome.

    DrunkBros Dos.
    Jack is allowed back in the bar and hilarity ensues. Two Chris Hopper jokes in one night? I love it. Gimme more. DDT’ing facial tattoos and shit. This ended beautifully so many inside jokes. Entertainment!

    GITFB
    Dane:
    Sure, some dick named Michael may have the newer and possibly more legitimate version of this belt, but this is one…

    SpOiLaRz! (I smiled tho ) This was fire. And exactly what I was hoping for. We dont need another title floating around with no real meaning. Glad this angle is over, and ready for what both guys do next. Namely the conclusion to Murray vs Dane.


    Dramatic Trailer
    WTF!? I have no idea whats going on here.

    Taken:
    A quick and fun segment with Jack Hunter laying down the ransom for Cecilworths Briefcase. 18 dollars or he’s never see his briefcase without bruises again. Terrific.




  3. #3
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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- UNCUT #6 IS LIVE!

    Intro

    The intro.

    Baggage

    Dug the continued interaction between Harmony and FDJ - she's showing a bit of a change in attitude but it's well done and well warranted - a life change can do that. Booya vs. FDJ gets nicely set here, though I would love to see Harmony beat the ever living shit out of him.

    DrunkBros

    I wrote this with Murrr, and expect Jason Natas to become Sir Natas-A-Lot.

    Namaste, bitches

    I spend a decent chunk of my week in and around a yoga studio, so the Bruvs' are a familiar sight. Very well done.

    New Orleans Airport

    A bit weird, being before Clash - but anything involving Jack Hunter is going to be weird. Hash Tag News Treak.

    Drunkbros 2

    I wrote this with Murrr. On another note, he didn't know what Birch Beer was.

    #GITFB

    Who the fuck is Michael?

    Dramatic Trailer

    ...I can't even.

    Taken

    Now this is a mystery I can sink my teeth into. Who is the mysterious L. Bruises?
    "Every generation needs a revolution." - Magnetic Poetry (original)

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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- UNCUT #6 IS LIVE!

    WELCOME TO THE SHOW
    I wrote this.

    BAGGAGE
    This is a quintessential UNCUT segment. Harm and Frank following-up on Frank’s save at CLASH, with a little bit of build towards DEFtv 65, their relationship, and the forthcoming match with Jonny Booya. I said this to Justin last night, but Frank is honestly like an alien creature to me, particularly in the way he speaks. I can’t help but not find the guy entertaining regardless of the content, so it’s pretty tough for me to sit here and be down about a Frank segment. Frank and Harm seem like oil and water on the surface and there’s just the right tinge of awkwardness in these interactions, but I feel their friendship growing. Frank, for all his idiosyncrasies, seems to genuinely care for Harm’s wellbeing.

    Enjoyed this. Harm feels more amicable (and more at ease) with every passing show. I think Tracey’s doing a great job of taking criticism on-board and adapting her character accordingly. Shout-outs for that.


    DRUNKBROS
    Wrote this with Pete.

    NAMASTE
    The title had me thinking “oh God, what are these dorks gonna do here?!” right away. Instant hook. Kendrix wearing a Tough Mudder headband is absolutely perfect because it instantly makes me want to kick him in the dick very hard: I’ve never met a Tough Mudder goober who talked about anything other than doing Tough Mudder and being a bit of a fanny. Great call there.

    Pretty decent segment. I don’t think it hit the usual heights I expect from this duo of utter bastards, but that’s alright. Not everything has to be a home-run, and writing thing for the sake having some fun with your mate(s) is what UNCUT is all about. No real belly-laughs from me, but it was amusing enough. These guys are obviously a couple of shallow, vacuous dickheads so creeping on girls in yoga class is spot-on for them.

    Should’ve made a cheeky Marie Van Claudio/Amy Harrison reference, though . Missed opportunity!



    NEW ORLEANS AIRPORT
    Wrote this with Sam.

    DRUNKBROS 2: THE QUICKENING
    Wrote this with Pete.

    #GITFB
    GET IN THE FOOKIN’ BIN.

    Ahem.


    This was a very good way to nip the whole “REAL World Title” thing right in the bud. It’s continued existence on DEFIANCE television would be a little bit weird (although a good way to build heat with the FIST), and Dane withholding it through sheer spite alone is a good heel move. Dane’s done with Jackson, because of course he bloody is: he beat the guy clean, avenging a shady “cash-in” loss. That’s about as “done” as it gets. An important transitional piece to drag Dane into the next arc, and draw a line under his issues with Jackson.


    DRAMATIC TRAILER
    I’m sorry for what is about to happen.

    TAKEN
    As above.
    DEF: The Murray Brothers, Jack Hunter, Jason Natas.
    LoC: Andy Murray.

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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- UNCUT #6 IS LIVE!

    DEFtv 65 is on the air!
    RESULTS


    Nice work on getting everything submitted in a prompt manner, everybody. This is how things are gonna be going forward: everything submitted by Sunday, with the show going-up on Monday or Tuesday, depending on when staff have a chance to read over it.

    Just a couple of notes:-

    - Please, please, please remember to use the NPC/Staff Characters section when adding segs to your feud docs and the runsheet. Had an instance of a staff member appearing in two consecutive segments this week, which necessitated shuffling a few things around on the card.

    - I'm gonna keep repeating this until I'm blue in the face, but feedback is very important. It contributes greatly towards your overall contribution here, and your overall contribution is what's gonna get you pushed. Do it .

    - Uncut 7 is up next, and will be "booked" backstage within the hour.
    DEF: The Murray Brothers, Jack Hunter, Jason Natas.
    LoC: Andy Murray.

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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- DEFtv 65 IS ON THE AIR!!

    THE RUNDOWN
    Rundowns gonna rundown.

    ACX VS. PCP
    It’s a good match, and I often struggle to find things to say about matches that I can’t really pick flaws in, but aren’t knock-down awesome either. Very strong application of the DEFtv summary style. Laughed at the TWAT STRIKE. Seeing the ACX transition from sleazy obnoxious heels to endearingly sleazy babyfaces has been very smooth, and it continues here with ‘em taking a fucky loss. Nice work all-round.

    ALMOST GOT ‘EM
    This was a very good segment. The only thing I didn’t really like was Dante using the “you had to fight so soon after DEF ROAD” excuse, because everyone on the CLASH card was in the same boat. If that’s a motivational tactic from Dante, it’s thin.

    I thought the Japanese sections were very cool, and very well done. I don’t really need to know exactly what they were saying to each other, because I can infer it from their reactions and what’s going-on around them. Nice to see the match being set-up again so early, because so many wrestling stories just jam the match in there at the very last second. This gives us a different kind of build. Both of these characters came-off very strongly at DEFCON -- hope it continues.


    ONE MORE SECOND CHANCE
    <3 Eric and Robert. They’re totally gonna get married in the end, aren’t they? That’s their endgame. Bless their hearts.

    I love Bobby Dean as Eric Dane’s cowardly lion. It’s a great role for him. He knows he stands to benefit immensely from riding The Only Star’s coattails, but he doesn’t quite have what it takes to meet Dane’s lofty standards. He fucked-up at DEF ROAD and ate a Starbreaker, but he keeps crawling back. BBD is endearingly pathetic. Good set-up segment for what comes later.


    SEAN JACKSON VS. ELIJAH CROSS
    I helped Mike with this and thought it was exactly what it needed to be: a comeback fuckstomping.

    BASEMENT BRIEFCASE BONANZA
    I wrote this with Colly.

    AMAZING CELEBRATION TIME!
    JFK is a horrible piece of shit rat-bastard and he’s starting to get his own heat now, which is great. It’d be pretty easy for him to come through and just coast on Mikey’s momentum in an in-character sense, but nah. The bloke has his own voice and he’s great in his little Flavor Flav hype man role here, picking some low-hanging fruit with the “ladies/gentlemen” comment than going all-in on the “sports entertainment” stuff.

    I just love how stupid and ridiculous these guys are. They’re everything that DEFIANCE isn’t supposed to be, maximised and turned-up to eleven. Who the hell has a goddamn awards ceremony after effectively stealing a midcard belt? What an insane gang of bastards. I hope they all melt into cheese. Particular shout-outs to the PCP, who are definitely the Bobby Deans to Mikey’s Eric Dane. It’s little touches like The D stepping in front of Kendrix to make sure that Mikey can see him that make this great.


    Interrupting this giant shitshow is just such obvious babyface pops for Andy Sharp. The “Lord of the Skies” appearing on a zipline is just quite wonderful. I’m glad to see this feud continue and I look forward to (hopefully) seeing Mikey get his face kicked-in before the end.


    ANDY MURRAY VS. CRISTIANO CABALLERO
    I wrote this.

    LAYING DOWN THE LAW
    Segments like this are why DEFIANCE is such a cool fed. Years and years of history that can be called upon in an instant and turned into an immediate money feud. That’s why we build worlds and leave little threads lying around all over the place: so that one day, we can come back and tie them all together. I used to cringe *hard* in *another fed I used to be in*, where handlers would legitimately say things like “I don’t understand why these people are segging: they’re not even feuding together!”. Well, dummy: it’s so that things like this can happen. GITB.

    Anyway. Euge felt a lot more sympathetic coming into this one, which makes sense, particularly with how dastardly and bastardly Dan Ryan came-off at DEF ROAD. I feel like Euge’s change of heart could’ve used a little more context and I’m not 100% sure that I buy into it yet, but it’s essential for this thing to kick-off.


    Boxer is awesome here. He just flies in at the first sign of weakness and goes all the way OFF on Dewey. His frustration, anger and bitterness came-off very well indeed here, even if Kelly was able to nip it in the bud before things really got out of hand. I can’t really find too much to fault. Again, I like setting-up the feud nice and early, and I especially like the “you can’t touch each other” stipulation. That’s gonna really make this story stand-out, even though they would’ve already.


    DEFENSE READINESS CONDITION: ACTIVATED
    PRAISE HOYT. ASIAN GIANT. Lawd have mercy!

    I loved Lindsay Troy’s WARCHAMBER explanation. It was very, very close to the way it was discussed on the post-PPV radio show. I think that anyone with a working brain and a sense of mental flexibility understood why she had to go to such measures to defeat Bronson Box, but it still needs to be said. Conventions are there for a reason, but the best of the best know that sometimes you’ve gotta twist them before they become prohibitive. This is DEFIANCE -- the fighter’s fed. Why wouldn’t LT do all she could to win? The occupants of this particular environment aren’t going to respect a “hero” who’s afraid to spill blood in a brutal cage match against the most bloodthirsty bastard in pro-wrestling.


    Dan Ryan kinda nails that later-on. “I’d be personally offended if you don’t do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get it.” I’m not sure if that was a deliberate parallel, but nice job regardless.


    It’s a very dense segment: absolutely crammed with detail and exposition. Lots and lots of contextualising: particularly in Asian Dan’s first big paragraph, which I think will go a long way towards framing this feud for new(er) readers. I think mentioning NFW, CSWA etc. is great because it gives the reader something to latch onto, and a more concrete sense of the specific events that he’s referring to.


    The thing I love the most, however, is the way Ryan just strips absolutely everything away and makes it all about the match, and the FIST of DEFIANCE. Cold as ice. Everybody knows that there are an insane amount of layers to this situation, but Asian Daniel Ryan doesn’t give a flying ferret. I think you guys did an excellent, excellent job of building this thing up, then having Ryan tear it all down at the end.


    … and I think the biggest compliment I can pay this segment is that it was gigantic and head a mountain of dialogue, but at no point did it drag or feel over-long. GOOD.


    ANDY SHARP VS. JACK HUNTER
    I wrote this with Seth.

    HOW TO READ… GOOD
    Bruvs being Bruvs. Is nice. I like. I like Kendrix’s crude immaturity a lot, and it comes through here in making Lance call himself “Lancelot Weiner.” It’s eye-roll heat, but that’s almost certainly what they’re going for. Also enjoy the Bruvs bullying the staff on a weekly basis: it’s almost too easy for them. A little more reaction to the Sharp situation would’ve been sweet.

    LAR stands-out in DEFIANCE because he’s about the only smiley-happy-nice-guy baby in the company, but he’s still big enough and tough enough to whoop your ass if you get out of line. He’s just so damn polite to these two despicable human beings. There’s gonna be a point where he has to flip the which to avoid being too saccharine, but for now, he’s pretty much in a niche of his own. Looking forward to seeing more from the character over coming shows.


    BEARDS & BANTER
    Wrote this with Chris Hopper.

    BRUVS VS. IMPULSE & LAR
    Angus, how bastard. How dare you lie to Cally? GITFB. I’m amazed that such a seemingly innocuous little character wrinkle continues to grow on a weekly basis. Little bits and pieces like this get over very well indeed: nice work, Peach.

    The Bruvs’ entrance is incredible in isolation and very befitting of what I’ve come to expect from them. That said, I’m quite fatigued by it after reading the big celebration segment. No real fault of the writers, and it’s not in the Bruvs’ characters to “tone things down,” but I felt weary of their shenanigans by the time they’d entered the ring.


    Fun match, though. Really solid action interspersed with entertaining commentary. Like the comparison between Mikey and Kendrix, particularly when it comes to actual wrestling ability. This is a good example of a match that exists almost exclusively to further a story, and I think this thing’s pretty much perfect in that regard. We get the Bruvs throwing finally lacing their boots and going to work, and a continuation of the Penn/Impulse stuff from the last couple of shows. Spot-on.


    MIC DROP
    Excellent set-up seg. I love Penn in his continued “bitter DEFIANCE veteran” role, rallying against all the weirdo new guys that have appeared in the past few months. There are times when it almost feels like he’s growing a set of testicles… but then I remember that this segment was set-up by him blindsiding Impulse during the match, so maybe not. Looking forward to this next week: I know they’ll knock it out of the park.

    FDJ VS. JONNY BOOYA
    There were a few matches and segments that could’ve used something between ‘em as a buffer, and this was one. Again, no fault of the writers: it’s just a consequence of having so much in-ring stuff this week. It happens.

    Frank is fucking insane. It’s awesome. Jonny Booya has never been my favourite character (I don’t hate him, but I dunno… X-Pac heat) so it was pretty satisfying to see him take a whooping in such a manner. This fuckin’ nutjob smashing Booya with the chain, then coming back out swinging the belt around his head. What a guy.


    What a mighty fuckstomping this was, and it’s completely justified not only by the UNCUT segment, but also because Frank’s just a big goddamned lunatic. If this is the last we see of Jonny Booya, then it’s a good way to go, IMO. Frank’s DOC reign starts by obliterating one of the most obnoxious guys in the company. Easy money. Decent story stuff with the Harmony involvement, too. Really curious to see where that’s going. I’m mum on Penn’s role here, as I think it’s kinda emasculating after his big “FUCK YOU” moment in the previous seg, but whatever whatever.


    BANK ON IT
    Wrote this with Mike.

    THROWING DOWN THE GAUNTLET
    I think that if I was watching DEFIANCE on an actual television, these two would probably be my favourite guys in the fed. I’m a sucker for simple, “fighting spirit” type characters and these two hit the nail on the head.

    I like how frustrated they are at being stuck in a division full of cartoon characters, and Daymon’s melodramatic way of framing things (“clearing the path to the battles that will define our legacy” etc.) is perfect wrestling shtick. Kerry is a little more “cut and dry” in his approach and tends to go right after things, while the wise old master’s a little bit more philosophical. Great dramatic. Good luck trying to get the other dorks in this division to “hash it out as wrestling professionals,” though :P.


    JASON NATAS VS. LINDSAY TROY
    Wrote this with Chris Hopper.

    THE CRUSHING WEIGHT OF REDEMPTION
    Wrote this with Juicy J.

    ANGEL TRINIDAD VS. DUSTY GRIFFITH
    It’s a shame that we have to see this on an episode of DEFtv rather than giving the characters the big PPV blow-off they deserve, but the circumstances being what they are, I think Seth did an excellent job with this.

    Really good job setting the tone right off the bat: from the announcer chit-chat to Angel stomping his way down and throwing Darren Quimbey’s bitch ass to the ground, it was nicely done. Couple of tense-swapping issues throughout, but handling simultaneously in LoC and DEF will do that to a man. I feel your pain, sir.


    This is just brutal from the get-go. It absolutely flies by, doesn’t overstay its welcome, and when it’s done… just fuckin’ ouch. I love how Angel effectively had to destroy everything and everyone around him in order to finally enact his vengeance on Dusty. Having the commentary team “go dark” is a very effective way of selling the magnitude of what’s just happened, and illustrated just how consumed by hatred these two had become. A very fitting end (?), and a harrowing way to put the first show of the arc off-the-air.
    DEF: The Murray Brothers, Jack Hunter, Jason Natas.
    LoC: Andy Murray.

  7. #7
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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- DEFtv 65 IS ON THE AIR!!

    THE RUNDOWN
    It ran, it ran so far awaaaay.

    ACX VS. PCP
    Solid TV match. I have nothing to complain about. A good spot for this match opening the show. Entertaining.

    ALMOST GOT ‘EM
    I speak fluent Japanese ever since deciding to learn it years ago when creating Dan Ryan and having a life in Japan be part of his character, so I totally loved this.** Some excuse making, as Murr mentioned, but you know, it was a perfectly acceptable segment.

    ** - I do not speak Japanese.

    ONE MORE SECOND CHANCE
    I'm very happy to have Bobby here because every fed needs a really entertaining character like this who doesn't need a belt and doesn't necessarily even have ambition. SO rare in this hobby, and it always makes a fed better.

    Oh yeah, fun segment too.

    SEAN JACKSON VS. ELIJAH CROSS
    Classic veteran establishment match. No complaints.

    BASEMENT BRIEFCASE BONANZA
    Murr + Colin = Scottish insanity. I haven't been this entertained by two Scots since....

    Check that. This is the only time I've been entertained by two Scots.

    AMAZING CELEBRATION TIME!
    I feel like these guys are in their own little world. I think that's a good thing? I don't know. I was entertained, which, all analyzing aside is always my primary barometer for if something is good. I smirk laughed on multiple occasions, so I call this a win.

    ANDY MURRAY VS. CRISTIANO CABALLERO
    Cristiano Caballero is a ridiculous name.

    That is all.

    LAYING DOWN THE LAW
    Eugene v. Bronson is a money money money feud. I hope like hell time constraints are truly worked out to make this what it can be. There's no doubt in my mind this will be awesome if they have the time to make it so. Loved the set up here. Bronson and Eugene always were a weird combination, and I like Eugene's flaws showing. It makes him a much more compelling character to me.

    DEFENSE READINESS CONDITION: ACTIVATED
    I wrote this with Lindz "Not Brunk" Branca.

    I specifically wrote the Gigantor the Asian Giant line just to get a laugh out of her, and she told me she legit LOL'd, so I win.

    ANDY SHARP VS. JACK HUNTER
    Murr, you wrote too much on this show. Stop this overachieving bullshit.

    HOW TO READ… GOOD
    Ha... more funny. There's lots of funny on this show? Too much? No. Not too much.

    BEARDS & BANTER
    I refuse to review another Murr segment.

    BRUVS VS. IMPULSE & LAR
    The entrance, while fun, was WAY WAY too long for a TV episode. The match itself was fun though. Always paying attention to Impulse's progression.

    MIC DROP
    This is miniature Bronson Box 2.0 to me. Railing against the new guys. Eh. But, I do like Penn a lot, so I'm overlooking that. I'm a little bored with the "these new guys will ruin everything" angle though.

    FDJ VS. JONNY BOOYA
    I think maybe we should have changed the order of things a little. Penn's involvement here was weird after the previous segment, but I do love a good boot stomping.

    BANK ON IT
    I wish there were an Andy Murray brand bin to put you in.

    THROWING DOWN THE GAUNTLET
    Love me some Rocko.

    JASON NATAS VS. LINDSAY TROY
    Written by Lindz and some guy with a weird accent. I almost had Dan Ryan steal someone's popcorn and watch this, but I left it alone. I liked the match. No criticisms.

    THE CRUSHING WEIGHT OF REDEMPTION
    Does anyone else write anything?

    ANGEL TRINIDAD VS. DUSTY GRIFFITH
    Big show quality match to end the broadcast. Not the ideal way for these guys to go, but I'm glad we gave them a moment to make this happen without too much distraction or foolishness. An exit for two big time characters, but you never know. Nothing lasts forever.
    Last edited by QueenOfTheRing; 06-23-16 at 10:08 PM.
    GOOGLE DOCS ID: dbrunk01@gmail.com

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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- DEFtv 65 IS ON THE AIR!!

    So this is my first attempt at beefdacks in Defiance. Probably won't be too long to read as I'm still trying to get my head around who is who, where characters have been and are going etc.

    Intro: Liked the use of signs in the crowd and the commentary recap is all very informative and helpful!

    ACX v PCP: Good opening match, was a fun read. Glad to see PCP find a way to win uncleanly, much in tune with the bruvs!

    Almost Got Em: Thought it was really cool to see actual Japanese being spoken here, nice touch, absolutely no idea what was said, could have done with a translator! But I'm sure it was all relevant!

    One More Second Chance: I love this duo together. They are the total odd couple! Bobby takes so much shit from Dane, yet he always comes back for more, so desperate to prove himself to him. Good stuff.

    Sean Jackson v Elijah Cross: Sean Jackson was dominant in this following on from losing to Dane last time out. He was never going to lose two in a row was he?!

    Basement Briefcase Bonanza: Wow...just wow! (In a good way).

    Amazing Celebration Time: Was so fun to be involved with, hope everyone enjoyed it.

    Andy Murray v Cristiano Caballero: I read this as Andy Murray v Cristiano Ronaldo and instantly wanted Andy to win this. I was glad with the result!

    Laying Down the Law: Why do I get the impression these guys have been at each other's throats for a while? Really liked this seg, I could feel the tension. Nice interjection by Kelly Evans, laying down the law too. Awesome stuff.

    Defence Readiness Condition: Again, feeling the rivalry and more importantly the history between these two. Fantastically written, had me hooked and looking forward to see this story develop further. Seg of the night for me.

    Andy Sharp v Jack Hunter: I was shocked at the outcome of this match. How can the superbest lose a match?!

    How To Read Good: Again, involved in this one, hope it set the tone for the tag match and people enjoyed.

    Beards & Banter: So much bants. A lot of respect shown between these two. Sets the match up later in the night well.

    Bruvs v Impulse & LAR: I enjoyed reading this, great work Pete. As much as I enjoyed the bruvs entrance, I agree it probably was too long for a tv show. But that's just sports entertainment people, get with it!

    Mic Drop: Nice rant from Penn following on immediately from his interference during the tag match. Nice response from Impulse setting up the match for Def 66

    FDJ vs Jonny Booya: FDJ is brutal. Solid win following on from winning his title.

    Bank On It: Nice exchange between Natas and Jackson. Jackson acting all high and mighty and then being brought back down to earth by Natas about what it means to be in Defiance. Jackson is so up himself he's a bit slow to realise what happened, nice touch.

    Throwing Down The Gauntlet: These guys are the complete opposite to PCP and The Bruvs, lol!

    Jason Natas v Lindsay Troy: Great match, great writing!

    The Crushing Weight of Redemption: JESUS FUCKING CHRISTMAS! (Great Line). All I can say is Ouchie!

    Angel Trinidad v Dusty Griffith: Carnage...total carnage. Great touch with the commentary team going dark as well. Awesome way to end the show!

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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- DEFtv 65 IS ON THE AIR!!

    Quote Originally Posted by kendrix View Post
    Laying Down the Law: Why do I get the impression these guys have been at each other's throats for a while? Really liked this seg, I could feel the tension. Nice interjection by Kelly Evans, laying down the law too. Awesome stuff.
    Make sure to read the next UNCUT card for a healthy dose of DEF History, good sir.
    I also have creative input in: Felton Bigsby, Viking War Cult, Don Hollywood, MDM4 and a few others... #BRAZEN

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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- DEFtv 65 IS ON THE AIR!!

    RUNDOWN
    Me.


    ACX vs. PCP
    Right out of the gate, I had zero to do with this kickass tag team match. That’s on me, but this one delivered and you got Donny and Rich pitch perfect. This division launching angle got farted around with a little, obviously, but in the end I think the smaller group will allow the remaining characters to really shine. BOOKINGNOTE: I’d love to brainstorm some random wackiness for future UNCUT episodes. I think these four interacting out in the wild could be a lot of laughs.


    ALMOST GOT EM
    Right out of the gate, be careful not to humanize Mushi TOO much. Face or heel he needs to retain some of that “human wall” quality that makes him so awesome. It’s why I’ve glued Jane so close to Box… he needed that not oft seen / monster in the closet sort of vibe. I absolutely dig the “the pace and brutality is getting to him” angle, it’s one I’d expect anyone doing “DOC style” stuff should probably be diddling with. Just don’t bury the lead or lose the characters edge… he’s a GORAM beast. Just a small point in a very well written segment.


    ONE MORE SECOND CHANCE
    I love everything about this “Bobby Dane” vs. The Murray’s angle. Not much else to say really. Great characterization + clever writing = top notch ewrasslin. BOOKINGNOTE: Speaking from Boxer’s perspective… he haaaaaaaaates how Eric endlessly tolerates Bobby’s presence. Hates. So going to play on that later… for… ummm, things.


    SEAN JACKSON vs. ELIJAH CROSS
    Solid use of one of BRAZEN’s job squad. And best wishes to Mike, sorry to hear about your loss bud. We’ll curate Jackson for you til you get back in a place to write. Take the time you need.


    BASEMENT BRIEFCASE BONANZA
    I’ll just say this… everytime I read one of these segments I want to pull one of my comedy characters and prop him up like a Jack Hunter in the undercard. It’s been so long since I really had a go with a comedy character. Cecilworth Farthington is one of those characters with near limitless potential. Loved every line of this.


    AMAZING CELEBRATION TIME!
    Like Murr said, when there’s absolutely nothing to critique, what can you say? lol From jumpstreet when I saw Mikey was coming to DEF my first thought was “don’t conform at all, just be UTA Mikey”... boom, one of our top heels in the matter or like an arc. One of the main reasons I’m sloooooowly pulling Box back into tweener territory is absolutely due in part to there being, now, just a slew of top notch legit heel characters to play off.


    ANDY MURRAY VS. CRISTIANO CABALLERO


    Cristiano Caballero:
    NO! NOT THE FACE!


    Cristiano Caballero:
    BESA MI CULO, PUTO!

    Love when people really run with the active NPC’s gimmicks like this. (watch this space, as it pertains to BRAZ… working on things) Top notch writing here.


    LAYING DOWN THE LAW
    89% Damien… he might be a busy little lad, but the dude is still just straight killing it. All I did was go in after the fact and polished up a little dialogue. D had this thing written super quick. We’re both legit excited to share this arc with you guys. Getting to look back at the history we’ve gotten to weave between Boxer and Eugene has been so goddamn fun. The “History Part 1” segment on UNCUT is going to be one to read if you're new to the fed.


    DEFENSE READINESS CONDITION: ACTIVATED
    If there’s anyone who needs to be cutting promos described as “long / wordy” it’s THE GORAM CHAMP… A. because he’s the champ and B. promos from The Ego Buster can’t be too long, Brunk’s a goddamn keyboard assassin. This sort of subtle, slow burn, history laced, well written storytelling is why roleplay feds will ALWAYS pale to the way we do things. This is the sort of writing WWE pays people tremendous amounts of money for. Dan Ryan as a 100% heel just WORKS… he’s as much a badass as any of the half cheered guys like Box, but he’s SUCH AN ASSHOLE, lol… hearing him deliver lines like this to such a beautifully build up DEF-style babyface, just thunderous boos...


    Dan Ryan:
    So the next time you think I’m going too far, and you feel the urge to put your hands on me to uh….keep me in line? Fair warning. I’m gonna kick your pretty teeth right down your throat.

    Like sweet sweet candy. Bravo guys. THE DEFCON HYPE IS REEEEEEEAL.


    2sweet me, bros.


    ANDY SHARP VS. JACK HUNTER
    Hot tag match to start the show, followed by three fun squashy jobber matches… we’ve become WWF circa the mid 80’s, you guys. DEFIANCE Superstars of Wrestling, next week Dan Ryan is going one on one with Barry Horowitz. Anyway, yada yada, Jack Hunter is goddamn wonderful. Moving right along. I like the direction of Sharp right now as that second tier workrate babyface, building his legend one match at a time. Like our own DEF version of Dolph Ziggler... only with actual upward momentum.


    HOW TO READ...GOOD
    So solid. The BRUVS are on point, as usual. I love LAR. Soooo much potential character-wise. The whole slant with him being a genuinely good, kind hearted dude… but NOT an idiot, is perfect for a future top top babyface. Keep going in that direction, the faithful embracing him as this kilted shit-kicker without him having to be… well, a dick. DEF kind of has a tendency to turn any babyface into a bit of a dick. HOLD ON TO THAT BABYFACE FEELING LAR! lol


    BEARDS & BANTER
    I’m with Brunk, punching Andy’s clown is only growing his ego… HE MUST BE BROUGHT DOWN A PEG! You talented, creative, half the card writing jerk… your island is… it’s stinky. You’re stinky. (good ass segment.)


    THE HOLLYWOOD BRUVS VS. IMPULSE AND L.A.R.
    Any overblown, over the top, “too much” comment doesn't apply to Mikey and Kendrix for me due to the nature of the gimmick. I say play that shit up, have the fans fucking haaaaaaate the fact these two assholes are taking up minutes upon minutes of match time dicking around and tugging on their puds on the way to the ring. Entrance away boys, entrance away. Like Brunk said, the really out of the box build of Impulse has been fun to watch. I really appreciate clever use of legacy characters. Good match.


    MIC DROP
    Oooooooooooh I like splitting that up into two segments with the new title for Penn’s promo. That right there is thinking visually. Emphasises what Penn has to say is important. I’ve yanked Jon’s doodle enough OOC over his work with Penn. Fantastic work as always, sir. BOOKINGNOTE: @ brunk (Penn and Boxer sort of towing the same sort of line is a wee bit intended for something Jon and I have been discussing for ages, just one of those dangling threads to be picked up later… *watch this space… someday* lol)


    FRANK DYLAN JAMES (C) vs. JONNY BOOYA
    Justin got to write this wonderful execution of Mr. Booya. Goodnight sweet prince. Cue the emotional “someone died” WWE-like video package with Finger 11 backing track. I look at Penn’s involvement so quick after his last segment sort of in the same vein as Seth’s fake out on Roman or AJ’s constant running back to shit kick Cena all this last week on Raw… sort of like... awkward heel shenanigans I guess? “Gah, AGAIN with this asshole?!”


    Sidebar. I want to say again, publically, to the people involved in the discussions over the DOC and it’s booking this arc that I might have gotten short with a legit sorry. I’m super pleased we came to a place where everyone’s shibby and getting to tell their tale without sacrificing anything. Y’all rule.


    BANK ON IT
    Old school, very Mike, fits Natas like a glove. Much love to Mr. Bell, out for a bit for family reasons. We’ll play curator for Jackson ‘til your return my man.


    THROWING DOWN THE GAUNTLET
    Rich and Don are veterans, Justin! OUR BOYS DID IT! Great promo. BOOKINGNOTE: At some point, now that we’re all pointed in the right direction with the tag division arc, we (tag team writers) should all start brainstorming the next HANDFUL of arcs. Little threads and entanglements we can start drawing on much later once the easy story of crowning champions is behind us. *thumbs up*


    JASON NATAS VS. LINDSAY TROY
    *Box slooooowly sits down next to Ryan… they sit in silence watching the match together*


    “Fuck you.”


    “Right back at ya’ baldy.”


    *crunch… crunch crunch*


    “Get your goddamn hands out of my popcorn Bronson… “


    THE CRUSHING WEIGHT OF REDEMPTION
    lol YOU’RE MAKING US ALL LOOK LIKE LAZY ASSHOLES MURR, SHIT! Honestly though. I wasn’t 100% sold on the Murry brothers right out of the box. I almost wanted it to be one or the other, but damned if it doesn't totally work. Good stuff man.


    ANGEL TRINIDAD VS. DUSTY GRIFFITH
    Never say never in pro wrestling. Even fake internet fan fiction pro wrestling. Fantastic match, boys.


    Really really enjoyed reading this card. Top marks to everybody.
    I also have creative input in: Felton Bigsby, Viking War Cult, Don Hollywood, MDM4 and a few others... #BRAZEN

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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- DEFtv 65 IS ON THE AIR!!

    I wrote my feedback over like three days, sorry if I repeat myself. lol
    I also have creative input in: Felton Bigsby, Viking War Cult, Don Hollywood, MDM4 and a few others... #BRAZEN

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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- DEFtv 65 IS ON THE AIR!!

    • The Rundown - I love the rundowns! I love the signs! (RENT MONEY!) I enjoy Angus as a standalone character, and I look forward to these every week. Enjoyed the fanboy stuff about that D.O.C. title bizness.
    • ACXXX vs PCP - The jokes were fantastic, the Klein boxes, “That’s what she said”, 4/10 rating…. Amazing. Very good description and wrestling, wasnt just move after move, enjoyed the extra little things like selling, and taunting from both teams. Nice little match. Loved the fuckery at the end, if nothing else PCP is consistent. Nice opener for sure.
    • Almost Got Em - Nice Segment here from Mushi and Horry. I enjoy this rivalry and REALLY LOVED the DOC Tourny stuff these two did. Looking forward to DEFCON and this next match, ate this one up.
    • One More Second Chance - Bobby Dean is getting his last last chance. This time he has to go big or go home. Bobby Dean was ordered to kill Andy Murray. This should be good Likes it a lot.
    • Sean Jackson vs Elijah Cross - The fix is in Keebs! Nice squash job here for Sean J. Perfect reaction to what happened at the CLASH. Enjoyed this bit, brawling then the signature knee for the win! Burial.
    • Basement Briefcase Bonanza - This was a dream. I laughed, I cri… no I didnt cry, I just laughed some more! Good stuff the description of the bowels had me right away. The ending was even better, so much evil. Wow. lmao looking forward to the next.
    • Amazing Celebration Time - I wrote this with a conglomerate of people who can be identified through characterization.
    • Andy Murray vs Cristiano Caballero - Good quick match. Enjoyed it. Thought Caballero got quite a bit of offense even tho we all knew who was coming out the winna! Sgood but obvs not Murrays last appearance tonight!
    • Laying Down The Law - HORRY SHEEEEET! Box vs Eugene! So glad to see Eugene back as I was a big fan during my first couple months here. Looking forward to this match/rivalry SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH. YUS! Great segment that has my fucking hyped.
    • Defense Readiness Condition: Activated - I thought this was a very very good segment, but it read a bit long. The message was clear however and the line was drawn in the sand, this will only end one way, in the ring. Lindsay and Dan have a HUGE history and this was a good way to catch us up. Hype for this matchup moving forward as well. Got the whole speil. Its all the before during and after of my arrival and I feel like “I’m in the know” now if that makes sense.
    • Andy Sharp vs Jack Hunter - Right off the rip the commentary was fucking hilarious. Love it. There are a handful of Characters that Angus has an absolutely HATRED for and its so much fun to write/read. After so many Jack Hunter wins and nonsense segments, this match FINALLY brings us to the reality that yes… as over as Hunter is. He was meant to Job. beautifully done and Hunter loses nothing… not that he had anything to start with?
    • How to Read….Good - Wrote this with a couple of Londoners
    • Beards and Banter - BEAUTIFUL! This is everything a FACE/FACE (SUPERHEEL!?) interaction should be. Respect, Banter, and knowing that no matter what happens these two are cool. This was incredibly realistic. Loved it. The reverse Playoff Beard. I like that gimmick.
    • Hollywood Bruvs vs Impulse/LAR - Loved it, loved it, loved it! Pete wrote this entire thing Entrance and all and I wouldnt have changed a thing. Im trying to keep the SUPER LONG ENTRANCES to a “big show only” thing. But if Pete wanted to give it a go I wasnt going to stop his juice. He nailed the Bruvs in this. I hit him with some notes on how it should go, and it was done well. Pete has since apologized for the match length but I think its fine really. Mikey is a weak wrestler, he shouldn't have marathons. All the while Kendrix got his shine in his debut match (finally!!!!!) and LAR and Impulse both look good here. Great stuff PETA.
    • Mic Drop - YUS!!!!! Curtis Penn is LEGIT AF. His promos hit hard and he’s verbal style is shock and awe. I love it. This dude knows how to write heel. This feud is the most epic “classic” face/heel feud in DEF right now. It just feels like ‘old school’ rivalry. Both guys “mean” what they say… Im putting “quotes” around too much. Great stuff here, looking forward to 66.
    • Frank Dylan James vs Johnny Booya - Before the bell rang for this match I was hooked. That folks, is the key to wrestling. Before this I enjoyed FDJ, now I’m a fucking mark. This was well written and I was way into the outside action. FDJ makes quick work of Johnny Booya and puts him down with the knee. D.O.C. Style.
    • Bank On It - Sean Jackson doesn't take too kindly to Natas pushing past. I liked this. Not much to say then another solid segment. I love how Natas starts every seg off with “Fu…” Loving Natas lately.
    • Throwing Down The Gauntlet - YUS! RCR have a spot CEMENTED in the tag division as the number one face team that come to mind. They are poised to have an epic feud with ANYONE else in the tag division as they seem to match up greatly. This was a classic face seg that has me rooting for these guys for sure.
    • Jason Natas vs Lindsay Troy - Likes the transition from feeling out, to DOC tactics from Natas. That is what he should be leaning on. But Lindsay Troy wont back off, shes like flies on shit. Holy shit the back and forth was fucking epic. Big moves after big moves cant keep either person down. Loved the armbar reversal. Hell of a fucking finish, Actually expected it to go to troy but lost that near the end and didnt know which way it would go. GREAT MATCH! MOTN!
    • The Crushing Weight of Redemption - Holy Fuck!!!! :’( This was BRUTAL! That could literally kill a man. GREAT way to go with this guys! Great read and really adds an element to BBD for finally pulling one off.
    • Angel Trinidad vs Dusty Griffith - WHOA! WHAT! HUGE! What a great way to end the show. This had me the whole time. If this is the way to write these guys off its legit, if its just getting started again its legit, or if its ending its legit. Great spot.

  13. #13
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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- DEFtv 65 IS ON THE AIR!!

    Loved the opening bit where Angus loves being loved, then tells Keebs to shut his whore mouth when he suggests a face turn. Also, he loves his HOSS BOSS Frankie holding a belt. Best commentary team since Bill and Sammy.

    I can clearly never go on vacation during a show post weekend again - PCP vs. XXX - "They have yet to lose match here" - A shameful Murrr with his shameful substitute proofreading. Nice little match, though - this is an efficient use of established characters to put some new faces over.

    Props to Horry and Mushi - I love rivalries that can evolve to mutual respect for "just one more."

    Oh, Bobby. Never change.

    Quick, brutal win for Sean Jackson. He needed this to be over in record time after losing his much-hyped debut match against Dane. However, now that the "myth of the Real World Championship" has been debunked, it should be no big thing to rise back up to the top.

    Cecilworth should have paid off L. Bruises with Mikey Money.

    Speaking of Mikey Money, that was a totally unintentional (but awesome) segue into the next segment. Gonna hold off on this one until we get to the match, though.

    Interesting confrontation between Eugene and Box - we get a signed match, a no-touching rule, and it all happens because the boss is annoyed at them. This is why a neutral authority figure is for the best.

    Mom and Dad arguing again

    The Ryan/Troy back and forth is my segment of the night. Lindz absolutely killed it as the hero of the people, standing up for what's right, and Brunk killed it just as hard, as the hated heel who feels completely justified in all of the things. So can't wait for this one.


    The Bruvs vs. LARPulse

    I will defend the entrance of the Bruvs until my dying day. While I agree that it was too overblown for a regular TV show, the Bruvs themselves are too overblown for a regular TV show and their debut match as a team needed to be over the top. That said, I would have probably done something different had I been previously privy to the earlier segment and the ridiculousness of their presentation. While I think they were both entirely appropriate, having both of them on the same show was a little uneven, and makes DEF65 roll a bit like an egg. Not happy with the match itself, but that's just me trying to do too much. Literally posted it to the show maybe 20 minutes before Murrr put it live - with that kind of deadline I decided to just include the things that had to be there. Will do it better next time, Mikey, Steven, and Jonno.

    I also wrote Curtis Penn's thing. I don't think it's as much a repeat of Bronson Box not liking all these new guys, it's Curtis Penn being a selfish bastard, taking issue with the two new guys that he's had direct run - ins with, more specifically, the guy he didn't beat.

    HOSSFITE

    Angus was right, FDJ destroyed Booya.

    Now Jackson wants to punch Natas. The Drunkbros are dropping like flies.

    Slow build with the RCR; with so many new faces at once it was probably for the best. Looking forward to seeing them meet up with the PCP and demolishing them.

    Troy vs. Natas was match of the night.

    Bobby Dean lands on Andy Murray - Ouch. At least Bobby won't be disciplined again.

    Main event was brutal in its brutality, and Asian Daniel Ryan may have a competitor for heel of the night.
    "Every generation needs a revolution." - Magnetic Poetry (original)

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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- UNCUT #7 IS ON THE AIR!!

    UNCUT #7 is on the air!
    http://defiancewrestling.com/results/127


    "Yes. I will read." - Yoshitatsu.

    Do you thing, human beings, and drop your feedback comments if you got 'em.

    One note, though: there were quite a few significant formatting snafus throughout. Segments submitted without the correct line-spacing, names not bolded before dialogue, etc.

    This might not seem like a big thing to most, but it's a dull, thankless task for us to go through these shows and correct dodgy formatting. Pete is here to proofread, but he shouldn't have to spend time added bold tags and correcting line breaks. Please be conscious of your formatting when submitting, because it's a ball-ache to correct.
    DEF: The Murray Brothers, Jack Hunter, Jason Natas.
    LoC: Andy Murray.

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    Re: DEFCON ARC DISCUSSION THREAD -- UNCUT #7 IS ON THE AIR!!

    Intro
    It's the intro.

    Drunkbros
    I wrote this with Murrr

    History Lesson
    More people with years-long feuds should do this.

    Drunkbruvs
    Wonder where they got THAT title from? Nicely set up, and I love the fact that the PCP have to follow in a cab. Such a dick move.

    Don's Figured it Out
    This was... disturbing. Entertaining, but there were a few minor points that stuck out for me - the exposition that Rich and Don gave about who they were and what their current angle was seemed a little forced to me, and unnatural. Also, you mention early in the segment that the woman is getting dressed by means of magic, and later in the segment she is again the "naked mystery woman."

    Silent Movie
    I wrote this with me.

    Drunkbruvs 2
    Anything involving Jack Hunter is golden. I want him to actually hit a Cow DDT!

    Performance Review
    Short and to the point - it got everything moving on and gave some hype for 66 and everything Penn has coming up the chute.

    Drunkbros 2
    Murrr wrote this with me.

    Stay Out of My Business
    Interesting bit of friction with the two Faithful Favorites. Looking forward to seeing where it goes.

    Drunkbros 3
    Funny as hell, the club goes on lockdown because Kendrix lost his sunglasses, Mikey trying to figure out how to further his name... classic Bruvs.
    "Every generation needs a revolution." - Magnetic Poetry (original)

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